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Kind of just venting here. I adopted my 3-year-old hound dog almost 2 years ago now. I’ve tried my best to train him and he has made tremendous progress. He has gotten much better at recall but I probably will never be able to let him off leash (although that may just be the stubborn hound in him that doesn’t like to listen). He is the sweetest boy. He loves to snuggle and to get belly rubs. He can sit, lay down, and touch. I love him so much.
His 1 big problem is his leash reactivity. We have to avoid going near other dogs on walks because he will lunge and bark like crazy. We live with my boyfriend and his dog now and they get along great. My boyfriend’s dog does not have reactivity problems but will join in on the barking with my dog on walks. It just makes me so sad bringing my boyfriend’s dog out to places and having to leave my dog at home. Like I said, he’s super sweet and not aggressive at all but bringing him out would mean barking and pulling the entire time. If he gets to be up close and off leash with another dog, he does perfectly fine although I avoid bringing him to the dog park due to his bad recall and I’ve heard that just makes reactivity worse. If he gets the opportunity to say hi to a dog, he will bark/lunge seeing them but once he gets up to them he just sniffs and moves on. I just wish I could feel comfortable bringing him to dog friendly events/places with his brother. I’m not sure if I ever will.

This little piece I wrote because I have zero mental energy to write something I care too much aobut the format and quality, and i've been wanting to have a look at this topic for a while.
Don't expect a lot of quality, but here have a thing.
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[This video is shown in its raw form for purposes of transparency of the procedures. For the edited version please visit the Emergency Services Guild public-facing site]
[Content Warning: This video contains images of both stampedes and wartime stampede incidents of the following situations: Human First Contact, Operation Blindside, Sillis Occupation, Kolshian Scouting of Venlil Prime]
[This video will be subtitled instead of utilizing audio translation]
The camera’s view is completely obscured by a grey mass “I think it’s running, can you check it for me?” says a deep bassy voice of a human.
“Yes, i’m getting the audio and a very good closeup for your shirt” the voice of a venlil sounds hoarse
The grey mass recedes and the room becomes visible. A large naturally-lit room of plain appearance, there is a long table set in the center of it surrounded by chairs, the table itself is clearly designed with a holographic projector and at the far end of the room there is a large display.
There are seven people present, three humans dressed in grey outfits with red highlights, each one of them with a different insignia emblazoned on their breast but all three of them have similar themes, a helmet, an axe and a ladder is present on all three designs. Four venlil represent, two with sashes of office with the white with red stripe color and the exterminator’s pyre-and-shield insignia and two with armbands with the red pawprint.
“Alright, before we start the actual meeting, can I ask why are they here?” says one of the humans, well-built and with a lighter complexion, pointing at the two venlil with sashes.
“Because it’s part of our job? Because we’re involved?” says the one with greyish wool and dark spots
“I’m sorry if i’m skeptical why an exterminator is in a meeting involving public safety and stampede response”
“Because” the venlil’s voice becomes louder “It’s our job. And I’m already brahking tired of this whole act. I’ve heard every variation of ‘you shouldn’t be the ones doing this’ you can imagine. Every human I’ve met has said this, multiple times” he slams his fists on the table
“And I brahking agree, look!” he points at one of the venlil with the armbands “Our jobs literally overlap, why do we even HAVE this overlap? What could the exterminator’s guild do in a stampede that the emergency services guild couldn’t? Why is it that any job that requires you to have the slightest bit of tail to do it they drop on us? I don’t brahking know!” he’s taking deep breaths “So… Why don’t we skip this part and just get to the meeting?”
The humans are taken aback, while it seems like the venlil were quite unfazed at the sudden energetic outburst in a strange reversal of the usual reactions. “Not… Quite what I was expecting” that first human adds “Alright, I’ll keep my thoughts to myself for now”
With that, the human that had been adjusting the camera sits down and the arrangement of seating is visible clearly: The four venlil are on one side of the table while the three humans are on the other. One of the venlil with the armbands speaks up “We are gathered at this moment for a presentation of the United Nations’ Extraplanetary Emergency Response Division’s research on the nature and possible mitigation of stampedes”
“Present for this meeting are three human representatives of the UNEERD, Captain Fabia” a human female with short crimson hair and wiry build nods “Captain Jorge” the first human nods “And Captain Ishikawa” a human much taller human with shortly cut dark hair and mildly reddened skin speaking of a disagreement with the eternal twilight nods.
“Present are also four venlil representatives. Representing the Exterminator’s Guild are Division Lead Toss” the venlil who had the outburst earlier nods “Of the Stampede Response division, Division Lead Tunam” a venlil with a strangely reddish coat halfway between pink and red nods “Of the Behavioral Studies division” the speaking venlil himself, best identified by an eyepatch on his right eye, nods “Representing the Emergency Services Guild is me, Division Lead Onam of the Stampede Response division, and Division Lead Liram” the venlil beside him nods, a woman with a distinctive vertical striping pattern “Of the Medical Response division.”
Onam takes a deep breath “You may begin the presentation, Captain Jorge” he’s being incredibly professional
With that, Jorge uses a holopad to summon an image on the monitor at the far end, a simple bullet point list “Though all present here already know, I’ll state it for the record. The ESG has requested from the UNEERD an independent study of mitigating techniques for stampede events, both to help us increase our understanding of the local needs and to acquire an outside perspective that may improve their own understanding”
“We will be presenting our current findings, which have proven to be pretty surprising in my opinion” he gives another command to his holopad moving to the next slide “I’ll begin with the most important finding before we look into how we’ve reached this conclusion. But in effect, a proper stampede event can actually severely reduce to completely eliminate casualties in a situation of panic, however, those events can devolve into panicked flight as well as not every species is capable of those”
At that, Toss tilts his head to the side “Of all things… Stampedes preventing casualties? That’s really difficult to believe”
Ishikawa offers a shrug “I know. I’ll be honest we kind of came into this with, let’s say… A bit of a bias against you. But the observations held true, and it turns out the situation is considerably more complex than it seems”
Jorge nods “Take note this is mostly a preliminary study, we don’t have a lot of data of the sort we needed.” he pulls up another bullet list in the screen “Our work was focused more on the behavioral end, as you’ve more than proven to have the infrastructure and technical superiority here, but we have found a distinct lack of behavioral studies on stampedes”
Tunam takes a deep breath “Sure. More stuff we got wrong, as always” but before one of the humans can say something he waves dismissively with his tail “It’s alright, you’re just doing your job. It just gets exhausting hearing this every damn paw. Sorry for the interruption, please continue”
Jorge has a look on his face for a moment, something like worry and sympathy, before continuing “We have performed our studies by examining footage of stampede events with specific characteristics. First, monospecies events, with three examples. The stampede events during our first contact, as a sample of stampede events amongst the Venlil, recovered footage of an event in the Cradle during Operation Blindside, as a sample of stampede events amongst the Gojid. Take note that while this particular footage was from a situation far from any attack sites and before the arxur invasion, the reliability of it is shaky because of the wartime situation. And a stampede event on Sillis that happened recently in response to peacekeeper forces”
As he talks, three of the bullet points light up “Additionally, we later compared stampede events involving multispecies groupings. Particularly we have studied the very recent events here on Venlil Prime during the kolshian threat as well as a second event that occurred on Sillis involving a damaged dam” the last two bullet points light up
The female firefighter pipes up “We’re going to treat you like adults here but early warning we’re not going to be censoring any of the footage. I imagine given you all work with this there shouldn’t be anything you’re not familiar with”
The one-eyed venlil makes an assentive motion with his ears “Sadly, we’ve all seen enough of the carnage to be used to it”
Jorge moves on to the next slide, which contains video. He passes the holopad off to the human woman at his side “Your turn, Fabia”
She nods “We’ll start by examining this footage of the first contact. First tell me if there’s anything unusual you notice here” she says, letting the footage play. It’s an aggregation of a few different cameras, apparently from residential apartments. It shows the residents, all Venlil, running away from their apartments and spilling over in the streets, the residents of each apartment building start running towards where presumably the nearest bunker is. It only takes a few moments before they start pushing each other out of the way and the ones at the fringes of the herd end up unable to follow the group as the ever-growing mass of people start to push them against the walls of the buildings and side streets, a little while longer the first tramplings start to happen.
Tunam has had a very careful eye on the footage “This looks like a textbook case of a stampede. Nothing particular to it” he flicks his ear to the side
Taking the sign, Toss adds in “Dreadful, as always, but not even the worst example I’ve seen”
Onam sighs “I remember that one. Wouldn’t want to be those two knowing all of this was caused by them. But still, a pretty normal stampede, if anything a mild one”
Liram makes a dismissive wave of her tail “Didn’t even manage to overflow the hospitals, so i’m calling that one a win”
The sunburnt human bites his lower lip, trying to keep something inside. But ultimately it spills over “How bad is it for those kinds of responses?” it’s not so much an accusatory tone as much as a sad one.
“Very” is the only answer Onam gives.
At that, Fabia waves “And here is where a human, or more specifically outsider perspective helped.” she presses a couple of controls in the holopad, rewinding the footage to the start “I want you to pay attention to how this particular herd moves, just the one from the beginning of the video”
The footage plays again, showing the residents of the apartments rushing out, most take the stairs while a few take the elevators. There’s parents carrying their pups and some elderly being rushed along. The footage switches to the outside view where the whole herd of venlil from the apartment seems to erupt out of the front doors at the same time, it follows them for a bit until they’re closer to another group leaving their residence before Fabia pauses “Here’s where we noticed something, how much panic do you see in here?”
It’s Tunam’s turn to respond “Normal levels, i’d say, nothing out of ordinary. Which, they were expecting a raid or worse, so keep that in mind.”
Fabia nods “And that’s why the difference is important. Pay attention to their movement” she rewinds to the moment where they’re leaving the apartment building “Pay close attention to their feet” she zooms the video
The four venlil focus on it, seemingly unable to see what is happening “It takes humans at least months of training to be able to do this. They’re all moving in perfect synchrony” she rewinds one more time, and with the information out there it’s clear that at this point, this herd’s footsteps are moving in perfect lockstep “And I have severe doubts those people have any sort of training”
Onam turns his one good eye towards Fabia, then back at the footage, then back at Fabia “That… Yes, I can see that. But that has to be a fluke, if that is true then we wouldn’t have tramplings”
In response, Fabia changes footage. It shows a different apartment building, but the contents are similar: Up until the herd is a good distance away from the building their movement is synchronous and even the exit, though clearly panicked, seems to flow without injury. She shows footage from three more apartments “We thought that too, but this pattern repeats every time. This is a level of instinctive organization that’s, to me, supernatural. But at some point it breaks down”
The medical lead had his eyes closed in thought for a while now “That… Now that you say that… Stampede injuries are always outside. Well, no, not always of course. But less than twelve percent of them happen inside buildings, the vast majority happens on the streets”
The human woman passes the datapad aside, Ishikawa picks it up and calls up the footage again. It’s the same as the initial one, but it shows two herds approaching “And here’s where it breaks down. Look” he plays it as everyone pays much closer attention to the details of the video. The two different herds simply crash into each other, causing people to fall over and the two previously-synchronized groups to fall completely out of order.
Tunam’s tail swipes a short arc forwards “Ah, I see. Each herd is acting like a single unit at that point, so this situation is like two people running into each other. Now they’re on the floor and confused” he stares as the footage continues, and what was two groups ends up splitting into four completely disorganized groups “And the herds are unable to reform after that”
“This is where i’m going to introduce some specific terms we’re using here” Ishikawa adds “Specifically we’re referring to the organized movement portion as a ‘stampede’ proper. The situation where everything breaks down and they are completely disorganized we’re referring to as ‘panicked flight’, much how it is for us humans. And this specific situation that caused the breakdown of the stampede we’re calling an ‘impact’ event, given it was two herds impacting against each other”
Ishikawa then changes to a different piece of footage “And this will be the second breakdown situation we’ve recognized, a ‘command failure’ event.” he starts the footage, it’s a proper stampede, the video is from a camera on a defensive bunker proper, the masses trying to get inside are visible at the bottom of the image. Something happens in the incoming stampede, it slows down a little bit, before suddenly the back half overtakes the front half, tossing people into the ground.
“Notice how the approaching herd seems to be behaving as we’ve initially expected, even going so far as slowing down to prevent from barrelling into the people waiting to enter the bunker” he adds, before rewinding to just before the breakdown and zooming the video “But notice here, at some point those two start having a discussion while they run” the video is zoomed on a pair of venlil who seem to be shouting, though the video has no audio “Shortly after, the entire formation breaks and the rear speeds up, trampling the front”
The crimson venlil adds “They were following the one on the right…” he has a certain tone of awe on his voice “They all had their attention trained on him”
At that the female firefighter makes a questioning noise “How’d you figure that out?”
Tunam does a quick sideways flick of his ears in a dismissal move “I guess you don’t know how to see where we’re focusing our attention on when we don’t have to turn our entire heads for it. But pay attention to the ears, when they’re completely upright to take in sound they’ll be tracking whoever the focus is. As you can see, they were all focusing on the one on the right, which was the one being yelled at” he focuses on the now still image for a while “You can see he has his tail in his hands, while the one yelling at him has his chest first ruffled out.” his eye seems to focus beyond the image now “This herd didn’t break down because of another, but they lost guidance, is that it?”
Jorge sighs, but he has a slight smile “See, I told you it’d be wise to have at least one venlil in our team. Just from being able to read their body language he skipped past two weeks of comparisons”
Ishikawa gives a light sigh “But that’s correct. This is a ‘command failure’ situation. We’ve noticed that in every stampede there seems to be someone that works at least as pace setting, if not straight up herd leader. It seemed in cases to mostly be arbitrary, but once someone got in that position everyone would follow that one”
Jorge picks up the holopad again “Next up” the screen changes again, it’s another video that is quite clearly not on Venlil Prime “This one happened during peacekeeping operations on Sillis…” there’s a certain inflection of disgust in the human’s voice as he mentions ‘peacekeeping’ “You probably already know what to expect but I want you to focus on the differences here”
The video that plays out starts with what seems like a protest in front of a UN field base, the recording is from the body cam of a soldier on top of a watchtower. There’s a moderate mass of tilfish with all sorts of signs, there’s shouting. The camera turns to show an APC get close to the mass from inside the base, there’s shouting from the human guards but nothing happens, until the APC revs up its engine heavily. At the angry roar of the vehicle the protesters started to bolt, four large groups forming in different directions.
The camera follows one such group as it starts heading off down a street, unlike the venlil stampedes this one starts from moment zero with trampling and people moving into each other. At some point it’s visible someone at the middle of the formation seems to hesitate and slow down, causing the entire mass to slow down for a moment, and then someone else near the slower raises their arms. At this point this is too far from the soldier’s body camera to catch noise, but what seems to be a discussion has happened, and suddenly the stampede speeds up and the scene that follows gets considerably worse as the mass turns into a tangle of limbs cross across eachother and tearing itself apart as they try to move in the same general direction.
“It started bad” says Toss “But it got worse. I’ve never seen a stampede get worse like that”
Onam puts his tail on the table, tapping the surface gently with it “It happens as it grows in size but this group didn’t change. That did seem like a command failure situation causing it to get even worse, yes, but they seemed to already be very out of sync from the start”
The human with the holopad nods “And that’s the biggest failure of your treatment of stampedes showing itself.” he rewinds the video to when the APC starts roaring “And honestly, we were stuck on that failure mode for a while too until one of the younger members of our team spoke their mind. Pay closer attention to the amount of damage that is happening during the stampede here” they all lean closer as they watch the start again “How many wounds are you seeing?”
It’s the one-eyed venlil that answers “None… They’re not trampling eachther, they’re climbing each other, and walking under the others, somehow without hurting themselves?” his voice has a definite awe to it.
Jorge nods “Yep. Tilfish, both from their body plan and however way their kinesthetic sense works, appear to be fully capable of moving over, through and under each other like they weren’t even there. That seems to be pretty unique to their species”
It’s the red furred venlil that comments now “But they lose that coordination when the command failure happens, so they start to miss their movements and now we have limbs tangled on themselves and tearing themselves apart”
“Comparing medical reports from this with medical reports from the first incident with just venlil” starts the female firefighter “We see different wound patterns. A monospecies panicked flight of tilfish will lead primarily to damaged and removed limbs while one of venlil will lead to crushing wounds. Because your herd movement patterns and capacities are different, when the stampede fails into panicked flight the wounds are different”
Liram tilts her head to the side “That’s what you meant. We… Speh, the entire federation, has been treating stampedes like they behave the same for every species” her tail swats left to right for a while with an excessive amount of force “But this makes sense. And I presume you have an example of a species that doesn’t stampede up next, right?”
Jorge nods, moving to the next video. It shows a wide, long street “This one was recovered from the Cradle, this happens during the strikes on the orbital defenses but before the first orbital drop. Meaning, long before any ground operation starts” the video is sped up considerably at the start, the trickle of gojid into the streets is slow as to require that, but the flows from the buildings and side streets slowly thicken as more and more people start fleeing away from the camera’s direction. The mass that forms is enormous, taking up the entire street, and to flows and moves as if it wasn’t a mass of people, not even like a mass of animals, but it flows like a river, like it ceased to contain living beings and it now contained fluid particles.
Tunam, whose expression has been growing more and more serious by the moment, initiates “I… I’ve never seen a stampede like… It really shows the difference seeing the comparison, here we didn’t have groups forming at exit points and leaving, we have a slow trickle until the mass of people is…”
Ishikawa nods “Until the mass of people starts behaving like a fluid, completely detached from the will of the people inside of it” he puts his elbows in the table “Very much how it works with humans. At that point, you just need to let the flow move you and hope for the best, while trying to keep yourself safe”
Jorge zooms in the image, which appears to be sufficiently high quality to get detailed images of any particular member of the mass “You can even see the measures they take to prevent harming themselves” he directs the zoom to an area where you see the gojid have somehow arranged themselves back-to-back and front-to-front as they’re pushed and shoved, trying to avoid harming themselves on each other. It’s visible, however, they have no control over the motions as they’re simply being moved by the mass. One unlucky woman trying to hold on to some form of backpack gets pulled under the mass of bodies by the article. Most gojid seem to be taking conscious effort to keep their quills from flaring out, but many are failing and some trickle of blue can be seen on some backs
“Of course” the zoomed out area directs to a different section while zooming out “This is neither instinctual nor organized, as you can see the vast majority of the cases are like… This…” the best description of the moving mass of very sharp people being dislocated by nothing but panic and fluid forces is… A meat grinder. There’s more blue than brown visible and the speed with which the human moves the video elsewhere is quite indicative of how none of the present trained emergency workers had the stomach to witness it.
Liram has stood up “By the void… But- But- There’s gojid population on this planet! I’ve never seen anything like this when they’re involved!” there’s straight up panic in her voice.
With a command, Jorge moves on to the next slide “And that segues well into the next topic of research, multispecies stampedes” there’s a still image of a large street in the capital, mostly empty at this point “As you can imagine there’s behavioral differences in multispecies situations”
Jorge passes the holopad over to Ishikawa “This one is pretty recent, hell I still remember it myself. The kolshian probing attack” the video starts, and for a few seconds the slow foot traffic of the mostly empty street seems undeterred. Then, most everyone still walking the streets, which here in the capital means a variety of species from venlil and human to takkan and iftali, picks up their holopads at once. And with different degrees of urgency and reading speed, they start running.
Nothing seems to progress further than that other than people entering buildings, but after a while longer it happens, groups start leaving the buildings in large herds “As you can see” Ishikawa pauses “We see them exiting buildings in large groups, just as the stampeding species do” he let it play again. Just like in the first two videos the large groups seem to be moving roughly in coordination within themselves, but it seems to be a much more frail kind of coordination as the group’s form changes and shifts as the people inside adjust their position.
Ishikawa zooms into one of the groups “Here, check their movement” it’s visible that only a portion of them is moving in actual synchrony, the venlil as well as a pair of sulean and three krakotl seem to be moving very much in lockstep, and one human who seems to be acting as a leader as she points and shouts. Meanwhile the other humans, two takkan and a gojid aren’t moving quite in synchrony but seem capable of keeping themselves in formation thanks to the others around them. “Here we see the effect of a mixed species setting. The stampeding species manage to give enough structure to the group that the others can follow”
Tunam is staring intensely at the video “But that’s a very fragile configuration, isn’t it? The ones organizing on instinctive drive can’t possibly keep this much structure for long? Without training this is going to break down quickly”
Ishikawa nods “That’s what we thought as well but…” he lets the video play, and they watch that mass of bodies continue to move mostly organized down the street. At some point another equally mixed group starts approaching from the side, but one of the takkan appears to start shouting. But instead of things breaking down, what happens is that both groups merge together, there’s some minor bodily impacts but from the visible motions of the group there’s some shared apologies and they continue moving at a slower speed, matching the speed of the second group “That doesn’t happen, the whole situation is even more stable”
The video continues for a while, and Ishikawa zooms to the front of the formation. The human who’d been the apparent leader taps rather violently a venlil on the shoulder. There apparently seems to be a verbal altercation, but both give each other affirmative visual cues and the venlil speeds up a little bit. And the rest of the herd matches pace as the group changes direction to another street “And this is a smooth change of command, presumably the human that’d been the unofficial lead figured out who knew the shortest path to the bunker and they’ve began following him instead”
The crimson venlil sinks down in his chair “That’s… I’ve never seen a stampede move quite like that, even multispecies ones. It has to be you…”
“Much as i’d love to give us all the credit” Jorge starts “I don’t quite think it is. Or rather, it’s not something i’d say is inherently human. If it was, once that group changed command they’d break down, or it wouldn’t be able to merge that easily with a takkan mediating. No, I think it was just those specific humans being able to keep their cool that helped it.”
He looks at Tunam for a half second before continuing “Everyone else seems to be… Very prone to panicking quickly. And while we’re just as prone to panic we don’t seem to get there as fast as the others. For some reason. Keeping a bit of a calmer head allows the prevention of command failures and the overall effect of reducing the panic level in a herd enough that any member present has enough wits to negotiate through an impact as well”
Upon noticing Tunam’s souring expression, Ishikawa gives the pad another command to move on to the next video “To give a bit more context to an important part of the behavior we’re analyzing here, we have this one footage of what is essentially a stampede event, but not one most people would recognize as such”
It seems to be footage of Sillis again, most obvious by the number of tilfish present. The footage is from a cargo hauling drone in a work site by a river at the bottom of a dam. There are a handful of humans, a half dozen venlil and a gojid all wearing construction uniforms identifying them as part of one of the UN relief forces, the various tilfish around are also wearing bright construction vests and protective gear and with the exception of two of them, they seem to be trying their best to stay away from the others. Suddenly, the gojid who’s near the river looks down at his feet, then starts running away shouting. At that everyone other than the tilfish start running as well, the group slows down for a moment as the tilfish workers run towards the group and they all continue together up a hill. A few seconds after they crest the hill there’s suddenly water in the worksite as the dam cracks and collapses. The group stops at the top of the hill, and quickly they’ve brought up holopads to start doing damage assessment as a few head closer to the rushing waters.
“This, as you can see, looks nothing like what you expect out of a stampede. We’ve interviewed those workers remotely to get a better grasp of what happened” Fabia adds “Thanks to their sensitivity to ground vibrations, the gojid worker caught the dam’s damage early and called for the others to run, which caused the work crew to evacuate to higher ground.” she waves at Ishikawa, who rewinds the video and zooms on the group as it runs “As you can see, we have the organized movement of a stampede proper” and known his cue he skips ahead to the group on top of the hill “And they stopped quickly, as well.
The human with reddened skin rewinds the video again to show the moment the group slows down “And here’s the particular detail I want you to pay attention to. Notice the group formed when the gojid called out the emergency, but only two tilfish joined it. The two that were already talking with the UN forces”
Onam tilts his head, clearly in thought as his blind eye is facing the screen now “You’re saying there’s an influence of familiarity?”
In answer, Ishikawa shakes his head in negative “Yes and no, we believe this is an effect of threat-assessment. The two that trusted the veracity of the information about the danger moved as quickly as the rest of the herd, which had managed to form thanks to the presence of the venlil and tilfish. Only after the other tilfish recognized those two did they start moving”
“And the whole group slowed down for them, without breaking apart” the crimson venlil adds “This is very much not anything we’d consider a stampede, however as you said the synchronized movement happens and they even managed to clear through the obstacles in a surprisingly safe manner on the way out”
Jorge picks up the holopad again and moves on to the next slide “So to sum up our theories. Certain species have an innate capacity of large-numbers collective movement, what we call a stampede is simply that natural capacity displaying itself during mass flight. That capacity can be harnessed to reduce casualties of panicked flight by giving the moving group an organized form, but only as long as the organization can be sustained. This mass movement capacity also applies to situations where other species would still perform in an organized fashion, but its instinctive nature severely speeds up the process.”
Before he can continue, however, Tunam mutters a little too loudly “But the results you’re going to give us are going to be the same brahking thing as always”
Jorge ignores the muttering “To begin with we’re going to suggest a system similar to the fire brigades we have on Earth. Essentially, any group large enough, such as a company or an apartment building, needs to have a handful of people with some training in emergency procedures for fire escape, so they can guide the rest of the people.”
Ishikawa intrudes “And in countries with higher seismic activities like mine, those procedures also include how to deal with earthquakes for example”
Jorge nods, and takes a deep breath “Look, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Your threat-assessment skills are horrible, for some reason- No, I think for reasons we’re all acquainted well enough by now, you’re all very likely to jump at shadows, far more than you should. However, your flight responses are part of your nature, trying to fight your nature never, ever works, you always have to work with it.” he’s staring directly at Tunam, who has met his stare with his right eye “So the primary suggestion is to introduce a form of ‘emergency herd lead’ training in organizations so that we’re certain there are individuals capable of keeping command and a lower baseline of chaos during a stampede event as well as further research into better methods of performing such a function”
Tunam doesn’t flinch from the stare “Come on, say it”
“No. As much as I’d love to say something like what you think I will, I’ll be honest. You guys expect to face orbital bombardment threats with enough frequency that civilian bunkers are part of city planning. Not a human alive today could imagine living in this nightmare their entire lives, I’m going to give you some credit here. Plus, in real threat situations as seen in the last video, you have very beneficial threat responses.” Jorge adds
Jorge waits for a few moments, then continues “That concludes the presentation of the early findings and initial measures we’ve identified. It should be noted that this topic will require much further research, preferably from a multidisciplinary group with representatives of multiple species. Though those findings may be applicable at the present our suggestion is that any action taken at this moment be only provisional and on an experimental level until further research can be made”
Onam stands up “Very well, with that I declare the meeting concluded” he takes in a deep breath and sits back down, making an annoyed sound with his voice as he swats his tail to the side “What is it about you humans that you could see all those things?”
Fabia shrugs, sitting more relaxed in her chair “I don’t think it’s something special, we’re just outsiders with a different perspective.”
A loud screeching noise can be heard, and as everyone turns to face Tunam the source of the noise is visible as the hand he had on the table had dug its claws into it “It’s not like we haven’t found out those things before, isn’t it?” he doesn’t seem to be directing his words to anyone in particular
The one-eyed venlil tilts his head to the side “We did have that work group almost fifteen cycles ago. I remember they were considering a suggestion like what we just had right now, but the work group never went anywhere and we never got any real results”
Tunam stands up suddenly, sending his chair scattering “One more to the list I guess…” there’s a tiredness to his voice “I should figure out where they wound up…” he turns around and goes to leave “We’re done here, yes? I should go” and stalks out.
The remaining people in the room look at his exit confusedly, as Ishikawa comes over to turn off the camera the others can be seen leaving.

Originally, I wanted to be a GIS technician and got a bachelor’s degree in geography. However, five years have passed since I graduated college and despite my best effort, nothing has been panning out. At this point, I’ve given up on the field and want to move on to something else. The problem is that due to how niche the field was, a lot of the skills are non-transferable. Because of that, I’m having trouble figuring out what would be a viable career to go into.
For background context, I did very well in college, graduating summa cum laude and excelling at every subject. I’ve also been very partial to working with computers and tech. In my free time, I’ve also been involved with the romhack translation community, helping to get a trilogy of games translated into English, including a title for the original PlayStation. While I don’t have a lot of programming experience, I am a good learner and would be open to any place that provides on the job training. I have experience with Word, Excel, Access, Adobe, ArcGIS, photo editing software, video editing software, and hex editors. I’m also good at troubleshooting computer software issues and doing my own research when needed.
Any advice or direction you guys could give me would be greatly appreciated.

Everyone is always talking about "touching grass" and how bad it is that we're all scrolling on social media and stuff, and that we should be interacting with the "real world". But I think this is silly.
More and more the real world actually takes place in digital spaces rather than physical ones. We meet our significant others online, we celebrate our achievements with friends and family on Facebook, the communities that matter to us are online. Not to mention it's where we get our news, entertainment, do our shopping etc.
The online world is a wonderful, completely frictionless place for us to see to so many of our human needs. Our parents and grandparents went out much more than we did- but that's because so much of what we can get on our devices used to require entire buildings and organizations. If they wanted to watch a movie they had to physically go somewhere. If they wanted the news they had to go buy a newspaper. If they wanted community they had to get up and go to church. But we have the utter luxury to get nearly everything we need from anywhere we happen to be, and yet we're complaining about it!
I think it's hogwash and am so happy to live in the age of cellphones and scrolling, because it allows me so much freedom.
And people act as though scrolling on your phone is this pointless activity but it's like no, I scrolled on my phone all day today and participated in many intellectual debates, payed my bills, read the news, entertained myself, caught up with friends and family... This is all really great and meaningful stuff!
And in addition to all that enrichment and productivity, I had the time to go on a nice long walk. So suck it anti-tech people!

Alright, so I definitely messed up. I'm a food prep guy. I do overnight oats and boiled eggs for breakfast and rice/chicken/vegetable food preps for lunch. My plan was to just pack a cooler with these foods for each day plus a bunch of other non-perishables and whatnot. Trying to save on buying food.
The issue is, I'm arriving Sunday for pre-show volunteering. So I'll be on the farm for 8 days. It totally didn't occur to me that while it's easy to keep food pretty chilled for a few days, but 8 days is a hell of a long time to keep all my meat and eggs and whatnot under 40 degrees.
I also don't have a super high-grade cooler like a Yheti. So I can pack everything on top of ice, possibly sandwhich it between layers of ice. Pre-chill the cooler. Keep it in my trunk the whole time. Try to insulate the cooler with blankets and whatnot. Possibly digging a hole and putting the cooler in the hole? Limit access to the cooler. Replace the ice each day. I can get dry ice but by what it's saying it will dissipate within a day or two.
Even after all of this I'd be worried that by day 3 or 4 I'd really be playing Russian Roulette with food poisoning. And I know for sure I absolutely do not want to get food poisoning on the farm.
Alright, so what's the protocol here from my more seasoned campers and whatnot? I'm thinking my best move is to basically do all the tips outlined above, but only pack food for 4 days tops. Keep a thermometer on hand to make sure I'm staying in a good range. Change out the ice every day.
Send help lol I'm kinda at a loss

Hey all,
My first character was a Frozen Orb sorceress, but by the time I hit end game I was a bit bored by the playstyle. I tried other builds but none of them clicked. Then I made a Druid and I took him to 53. I enjoyed him and several builds and had a good time. I figured I'd try the other classes before deciding who to main. I made a Necromancer next, easiest time I've ever had in my life. 1-50 was effortless. I just used Blood Nova and with the two free Overpowers it cleared entire rooms. It was so easy it was boring.
Then I really wanted to get into Barbarian. I loved the idea of a fast moving, fast swinging, immune to CC Barbarian that just face tanked the things.
I tried reallly hard to like Barbarian, but leveling it was the most dreadful experience I've ever had. I tried so many builds, constantly swapping every few levels, never really finding one I liked. I didn't want to play a Whirlwind Barbarian, although I did try it and it didn't click. I ended up leveling with a Frenzy + Upheaval build, which was really boring and didn't fit my roleplay fantasy but everything else felt awful. Especially immediately after the Necromancer, even Druid felt like a better Barbarian in every way.
So I hit 50 and I finish the Capstone dungeon. I farm up a Sacred piece in every slot, then I decide to invest all of my legendaries and materials into a custom build I would enjoy.
The build is fantastic. I immediately noticed everything being so much easier. I was clearing Nightmare tier dungeons with ease. I did 1-5 extremely fast with no risk of death and unlocked the ability to craft them. So I immediately crafted a tier 19 and attempted it. I died 3 times, but I did manage to clear it and I truly feel the strength of the class now. Killing level 70s at level 53.
For those interested, my build is...
Flurry - Double Swing - Charge - Challenging Shout - Ground Stomp - Berserk
I use the Berserker capstone passive. I also invest a bit into thorns as well, with the Thorns upgrade on Challenging Shout. I use a Mace and Sword, and the 2H Mace Specialization.
The Legendary affixes help overcome the lack of AoE. I have the one that turns Ground Stomp into an AoE, one that pulses fire while Berserking, one that creates a tornado when you double slice twice, one that creates a tornado when you spend 100 Fury, and one that makes monsters explode if they die within 2 seconds of a charge/kick (I do love kick too). Then I have some defensive ones as well, including the Barrier on elite, bleed while berserkering (to trigger passives) and fortify as well.
I just charge into combat going after the elite, stomp and spam Double Swing, slam him into the wall if he's still alive and challenging shout and the thorns often kills the non-elite things. It wrecks bosses as well.
The best part, is I feel like a Berserkering Barbarian, moving extremely fast, attacking extremely fast, immune to CC, face tanking things. Definitely the class fantasy I was hoping to achieve.
Oh another fun side fact, among all of those characters I played I never encountered the Butcher a single time until I started playing Barbarian. I saw him easily 6-7 times leveling up and he wrecked me. Then I saw him in a Tier 5 Dungeon, a very annoying one where the thing follows you around and pulsates AoE and I absolutely destroyed him.
That's all, thanks for reading.

Am I the only one who finds Dating in your 30’s mind boggling and discouraging? I mean you’re in this awkwardly sweet spot of being too old or too young for people. I try to date somebody my age (30+) and I’m too young wtf lol. Anyway Im I’m living in a personal dating hell lol. SO here I am on Reddit, dragging myself from shores of the digital cesspools we call dating apps. I’m putting a serious effort in finding a warm, loving, loyal, genuine respectful person to call my life partner and enjoy life together. As Ozzy Osborne says “I’m shooting my shot in the dark” (great song btw)
I am a 33 year old professional from the east coast currently living in Southern California for the past 4 years and been single for 5 years sadly. I have an amazing career as a clothing designer and graphic artist and a clothing brand owner all of which is my dream jobs and occupations. I got to meet celebrities and work with them on numerous projects which is always exciting. My social life here is kinda dull since moving to California. I only get to interact with people if it’s networking in the industry, unfortunately I’m a shy guy. But when I open up to being comfortable I’m a total charismatic gem. I’m a very loyal, chivalrous, respectful, loving, genuine, thoughtful, monogamous, spontaneous, funny, patient, open minded, adventurous, intellectual. I’m also Very goal driven, motivating, and a supportive man always wanting the best for you and your life. I Can be clingy but not in a stalker smothering way, more so the type of guy who craves giving my undivided affection and attention to who I’m with 110%. I want the person I’m with feel loved and thought about 24/7. Willing to relocate wherever for the right one if it gets to that point. Just to be with you ❤️.
Physically…I look like a potato 😂 jk I’m 6ft tall 180 lbs ( definitely in shape) Mixed race of black and Chinese, nice light brown /caramel skin, long braided auburn colored hair ( alien hair honestly because it naturally changes colors with the temperature outside) 6 tattoos 2 nose piercings, brown eyes and I was always told I have nice eyes and godly eyelashes 🫥 which idk how to take but yea it’s a thing i guess lol. Heres some pics of me https://imgur.com/a/9I9JwxJ :) I dress very nicely from what I was always told. Most of the time I have a punk & streetwear meshed aesthetic.
My day to day bullshit aka hobbies and interest: •Making art is my ❤️ •Designing clothes for my brand •Go to the beach •Workout 5-6 days a week •Reading •Practice choreography and dance (I used to be in a competitive dance battle group Let me teach you some moves 💃🕺) •learning about space or nature •cooking (yes I can out cook you, don’t try it 😂) •infatuated with nature and the outdoors •learning and teaching new things •listening to good music •Gaming and streaming on twitch during the weekends and some weeknights after work. •I read manga and watch anime BUT let me put a disclaimer…THIS doesn’t mean I want to talk about this stuff all day everyday lol. Yes let’s watch something together or discuss a theory or two, but don’t wake up with it on your mind first thing in the day. It’s a turnoff tbh.
What I’m looking for in you? Yes…we all have a preference that’s totally normal. But some people are unreasonably picky lol. So first off ill say that I don’t care what religion or race you are or If you want kids or have one already. Those things don’t determine who will love me and vice versa. So come and talk to me I won’t reject you. However I do need a woman that’s:
•Goal driven and goal oriented. •Monogamous •Knows what she wants in life and in a man •Funny, smart, respectful, not afraid to commit (like me), loving, imperfect, genuine, seriously loyal, feminine, supportive, educated, non political, outgoing, loves to travel/explore. •looking for a serious long term relationship •Cultured •Physically active and healthy (not saying you need to be a model or even close but at least be active or in shape like I am. I used to be obese years ago and I don’t plan on going back and I see WAYYY too many woman demanding a fit male but don’t even want to workout themselves.) •Drug free and std free (I’m 420 and psychedelic friendly) •26+ in age living in the U.S, definitely a plus if you live in California.
So hopefully you made it this far, hopefully I caught somebodies eye, hopefully the love of my life is reading this…please send an introduction of yourself with a SFW selfie. Please be local or in California. It’s easier for us to see each other and bond 💜
Thank you for reading this. There’s so much more about me for you to learn, in a good way lol.
TLDR: I need a boothang to make my queen ❤️😊

So, small back ground: I have been working for this company for nearly 4 years. It used to be a small construction company with a few branches around South East US. It is the best workplace environment I have ever had (until recently). Everyone is very close and it really is like a family here. You can say whatever, joke around, and just have a great time. Most of the time. That ended with a merger we had about 4 months ago.
Recently we were bought out. With that came many changes, but the most glaring change was my workload. Many operational duties were handling by a corporate office out of state. Since the merger all of those extra duties were shifted onto me. This used to be split between 3 people (for our branch), but now their workload has been added to mine, on top of everything I had done before.
Now I handle all warranty claims, accounts receivable and payable, all job data entry (including inventory management, applying this inventory to the job, closing the job, and invoicing the customer). I also handle all cash, check, and credit card payments, as well as being responsible for making sure we secure payments from our customers. I handle the safety side of things, fleet management, payroll, and HR.
All of this combined has led me to work 50+ hours weeks with no rest. I have no life anymore. I get home, eat, then sleep because I'm so exhausted from work. I have even started using my lunch breaks as naps, because I feel so exhausted. I can't take any time off without my work stacking up because there is no one else to take it up. And I have to choose days I do take off carefully because of inventory counts, weekly payroll submission, and end of the month closing.
So that brings me to the final straw. After everything I have sacrificed for this company, I overheard a meeting between my branch manager, regional manager (our new company is one of the largest nation wide construction companies), and a new hire sales man. This new hire was hired a week or two before the acquisition at a base salary HIGHER than I make. He has been a failure. His measurements are off, so items need to be re-ordered often to complete his jobs. He does not sell very much, making him almost COST the company to keep, vs making the company money, and worst yet he was an installer just a few short months ago.
Now they bring him into this meeting, and I over heard them going over a management role they want him to take over for our branch. Now from how they described it, this manager would have direct control over many of the responsibilities that I have listed, that I do. Meaning he would have DIRECT AUTHORITY over me. Because keep in mind, despite all I do, they have refused to give me a manager title. I am an "Operations Specialist". This means that this guy, who was clearly failing at his own job, is being given a promotion over me, despite having ZERO qualifications. He has no certifications, no degrees, no licenses, no prior background experience, NOTHING.
So after all I have done to prove myself as someone willing to go over and beyond what is required, I have been passed up on promotion to someone infinitely less qualified.
I am done with this place. I'll hate to leave the people behind, but I refuse to work here any longer.
Sadly due to them never giving me a title appropriate for my job responsibilities, my resume will not reflect my actual qualifications. So, finding another job of similar pay and rank is going to be difficult.
​
Anyways if you actually read all of this, thank you. All of my friends work here and everyone has big mouths, so I've kept this bottled in for days.

I came back from guarding to go to my 15 minute break and found my phone face down on the concrete. Prior to me going up in chair, My phone was zipped in my bag. I picked it up off the concrete and them I saw it was shattered. I was sort of angry, thinking it was just the screen protector, and I tried to peel it off. Then I realized my screen protector has been removed. I don't go anywhere without a screen protector. I had one on before and now I don't. Someone removed it and threw my phone on purpose. Then they placed it face down on the concrete to make it look like someone bumped it off the picnic table. I work with public highschoolers. I am a lifeguard and today, we were at an 8 guard rotation. There were only 8 people. And I suspect 2. My bag was in an employee only area. No one else was near except my employees. I asked my job if I would be compensated and they said they don't take responsibility for broken items. My bosses though are trying their best since it wasn't just an oopsie, it was an employee who purposely did this.

I know I’m probably going to get chewed out on here for this, and honestly I don’t blame any of you if you do, I just need a place to get all of this out and I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this in my life.
My ex was very abusive toward me. She had an alcohol problem and would break my things, say horrible things to me, put her hands on me once by shoving me against a wall, would punch walls and throw things around, cheated on me, etc etc all while she was drunk. Needless to say, it was a very tumultuous relationship and I was not doing very well after awhile.
About 2-3 months ago, I met a new friend. This friend was extremely kind to me and we were both dealing with the passing of one of our mutual friends. She became someone I could talk to about anything and we talked all the time. At this point, I was still with my ex and I began to feel incredibly guilty because I started to develop feelings for my new friend.
I didn’t handle this well at all. I was crying and breaking down several times a day everyday because I felt guilty for having feelings for 2 people despite how awful my ex was treating me. I tried to push my feelings for my friend down constantly, but they just kept growing and so did the guilt for feeling this way.
Well, after yet another awful thing happened that my ex caused, I decided to break off our relationship. I told her I still wanted to remain friends and so for about a month we were friends, but we were still hooking up with each other (bad idea, I know) and hanging out often. I told her I strictly wanted to be friends and I didn’t mind hooking up as long as she knew it didn’t mean we were getting back together. She agreed.
She constantly told me she still had feelings for me though and would try to push things no matter how many times I told her to keep friendship boundaries. I felt so guilty because of course my feelings for my ex didn’t just magically disappear, but I still had feelings for my friend that I hadn’t addressed yet and I just felt awful for having feelings for them both. It kept eating me up inside until one night I decided to finally tell my friend how I felt.
To my shock, she felt the same way for me. I didn’t expect this at all because I didn’t see any signs from her, but this kind of made the guilt I was feeling even worse. I was honest with my ex and told her I had feelings for someone else. I didn’t tell her who, because I figured she would flip out on this person, so I lied and told her it was someone else. She was really angry over it.
I wound up talking more to my friend about the feelings we had for each other, and since she lives a good distance away from me, she suggested we don’t see anyone else and stay friends until we meet up in person and discuss a possible relationship. I agreed and we kept just getting to know each other more. Things were honestly really great with her.
Even still however, I kept feeling guilty because I still had feelings for my ex. I never wanted feelings for anyone else, I honestly just wanted time to be on my own. I needed that time, and I just wished my feelings for both of them would go away, even though I did feel really good talking to my friend.
Well, one day after not talking to my ex for a long time, my ex reached out to me and asked to talk. She kept telling me she still had feelings for me and I told her that I felt that way for her too, but that our relationship wasn’t good and I had feelings for my friend too and she knew that. I wound up feeling awful during this conversation and told my ex to leave and due to the overwhelming sense of guilt, I messaged my friend and told her I didn’t think we could be in a relationship at any point in the near future. It was all just too much for me.
She was very upset and asked why, and I told her I haven’t been doing well mentally, which is 100% the truth because the guilt has been eating at me for 2 months now and causing me to have panic attacks, not sleep, barely eat and I can hardly function. I told her I didn’t want to drag her into this and that I should never have told her that I had feelings for her so close to after my ex and I broke things off. The whole time I was texting her, my ex was knocking on my front door asking to talk.
I don’t really know why I opened the door, but I did and once she came in, she kissed me and I let her. One thing led to another and we wound up being intimate together. As soon as it was over, I cried and felt like a terrible person and even when it was happening I just felt awful. All of this is such a mess. I never wanted to have feelings for two people, and honestly I wish my feelings for my ex would just go away because of all the bad things she’s done to me.
I didn’t tell my friend that my ex and I were intimate together and honestly, I don’t want to because I know it will make her extremely sad and I don’t want to lose her as a friend. I know that I did tell her before I was intimate with my ex that I couldn’t be with her, so I didn’t go against anything with her, but I still just feel awful about it. I’ve been crying ever since this happened and just feeling terrible. I feel even more terrible since my friend has been messaging me trying to help me with my mental health.
I feel like a terrible person and I probably am. My ex and I have been talking and she keeps apologizing profusely for everything she’s done and is now in a program to get help with the alcohol and says she wants to treat me better, but I just feel so guilty for everything and don’t want a relationship with anyone right now, especially since I have no idea what’s going on with my feelings.
I never wanted feelings for two people and it’s awful. I hope no one here ever goes through something like this. I don’t even know what to do. I still have feelings for both of them and I will not get into a relationship with either of them right now due to this, but I honestly don’t know what to do. I just want to cry and I want the guilt to go away. I’m just going to try and be the best friend that I can possibly be to them, but I don’t know if that would ever make up for it.

Now, I work in a relatively small town, pretty far from any major city, so I'm not taking on any newsworthy cases, and my clients aren't usually offering me the big bucks for my services. So, you can imagine my surprise when, yesterday morning, a client walked in carrying two heavy-looking sacks, sat down in front of me, and opened one of the sacks to reveal money. A lot of it.
Even more surprising was the fact the client was a young girl, who couldn't have been more than seventeen. Now, you can understand why I was already more than a bit skeptical, then she told me she was immortal and needed my help in changing that.
No sooner than I had awkwardly laughed, she interrupted me and made my jaw drop.
"I was Tommy O'Malley. Mr. O'Malley to you, back when I taught you mathematics for a few years in the early nineteen-eighties."
I was a bit confused now. I did have a Mr. O'Malley teaching me back when I was a teenager, I remember him mostly for being strict and for excessively mean. I noticed that the teenage girl had the same blonde hair and green eyes that he had. Perhaps they were relatives and this was some sort of prank? That would be a bit strange though, considering that I had heard about Mr. O Malley's death a little under a month ago.
I was trying to rationalize this in my head, but her next statement blindsided me.
"Near the end of the school year, your first year at the school, I kept you behind and yelled at you, saying you wouldn't be half the lawyer that your father was if you kept skipping classes and failing tests. You then started crying."
Wow. Yeah, I suppose Mr. O'Malley was a mean old man, but I can't see him telling that charming tale to his granddaughter so she could play a prank on me, not least after he was dead for almost a month. Now, I wasn't really convinced that old Mr. O'Malley had reincarnated as this teenage girl, but I definitely wanted to know more.
"OK, let's say you're immortal. Why are you here?"
"I was given this curse in the summer of 1641. I was only in my twenties, perhaps my early-thirties, yet I had fallen ill. I was coughing up blood for over a week and I knew I hadn't long left. One night, I sat down by a river feeling sorry for myself."
Now, this teenage girl had just told me that she's been around since the 17th century, but something about the sincerity and regret in what she spoke about had me drawn in. I've never been one to deny the existence of the supernatural, but I was still wary, so I let her continue speaking.
"I was lamenting that I had done nothing and my life was being cut short before my hair had gone completely gray. I had no wife, no children, and I was far from wealthy. Then I spotted him. Across the river, a man wearing rags, humming a tune, until he looked up at me."
The young girls tone of voice was one of anger, of hate, but her eyes looked fearful.
"He asked me what had me in such a foul mood on such a fine night. I grumbled that it was very apparent I was dying, and that was when he grinned, a terrible, wretched smile. He stepped across the river, and the water froze under his feet, and a cold chill went up my spine."
"He offered you immortality?" I asked, in response to her silence.
"I asked him what the cost was, to which he told me that I would find out, should I accept his offer."
"And what was the cost?" I found myself whispering.
"After I shook his hand and he walked into the forest, I expected for my sickness to go away, but I began coughing up even more blood, until I died, a little under three days later. But I awoke, feeling healthier than I had in weeks. I got out of bed, walked to a river flowing past outside, and found that the reflection I saw wasn't my own."
"And who's was it?"
"Mary. A girl I had shared a brief romance with when I was younger, but she was married off and moved to another part of the country with a richer man. My consciousness had replaced hers, and I had to resume her life. It was a miracle I wasn't thrown into a sanitorium by her husband for acting strangely, but he wasn't very attentive, let alone present most of the time."
"That's lucky, I think."
"Then I died for a second time a decade later from pneumonia, and awoke in the body of Mary's, or my, son. Then, forty years later, I died for a third time, waking up in the body of his, or my, son, twenty years later in the body of his, or my best friend. I was reincarnating as the people I cared about most. Whatever I made a deal with had played a cruel trick on me. This brand of immortality is worse than death"
"Got more than you bargained for, there." I mumbled, still trying to figure out if I believed her or not. On one hand, the whole idea was crazy. On the other hand, I was pretty convinced, plus she had a sack of money.
"So why'd you come to me? And why's it worth that big stash of cash?" I asked.
"Last I was Tommy O'Malley. I'd been Tommy O'Malley since he was a toddler. I'd got a good teaching job, but stupidly I had a kid. I abandoned him before he turned five. I foolishly hoped I could save him from the consequences of my wish. So I became a recluse. Only showing up to work."
"Were you being a mean old fella in case you'd wind up getting attached to any of us?" I laughed, but stopped after the young girl glared at me, and I swear it was the same glare Mr. O'Malley would give us when we talked in class.
She continued "But, then in 2008, my son came to see me. I don't know how he didn't hate me, but he said he wanted his kids to meet their grandpa. I should've turned him down, but I had gotten lonely, and little Kelly melted my heart."
I realized where this was going, and let her continue.
"Three weeks ago, Tommy O'Malley, that is to say, me, died in his sleep. I woke up as Kelly at around two in the morning, and ran to the edge of town crying. Then I saw him again. The man who granted my wish. I began swearing like a sailor at him, then he spoke."
"Immortality not all as you imagined it? That's alright. Meet me one month from now, at the river we first met. I can take back your wish, but it'll cost you."
Kelly stared at the floor and said "I'm can't let him have my soul, but my immortality needs to end, otherwise I might end up reincarnating as one of Tommy's grandchildren, or my siblings, I suppose."
I understood. I had to raise my daughter all by myself, I wouldn't be able to stand the thought of her soul being kicked out of her body. Still, Kelly was asking a lot of me.
I responded "You think my time at law school will help you cut a better deal with some demon? I'm a little out of my depth in that regard."
She opened the second sack to reveal books, scrolls, some printed documents and sharply said "These are some recorded instances of a guy who sounds like my curse-giver. Learn what you can, and remember, I'm paying you a pretty big portion of the money I earned as Tommy. Meet me tomorrow night."
With that, she left, carrying the money bag. I'm in my fifties now, I shouldn't be buying this, but somehow I was convinced, whether it be by the apparent sincerity of Kelly, or Mr. O'Malley, or whoever, or the money, I quickly turned my attention to the documents she had.
Let me tell you, these seemed more like fairy tales and urban legends, but I couldn't stop reading. All the tales originate from the same region, and involve our boy taking advantage of those who are on the verge of death. It always takes the form of a man with long black hair, wearing rags, with glassy eyes and an unnerving grin. Seriously, there was a real creepy old drawing of him included.
Before I knew it, it was dark outside. I read the last document, containing the coordinates, as well as a note saying to be there tomorrow at midnight.
I tried to sleep, but I kept seeing that old timey drawing of a blind young man with a sinister smile. The day went quickly, and soon I left to visit the destination. I was starting to believe this more and more, but the pay was better than what I was used to, so I arrived, and found Kelly with the money.
"Did you figure anything out?" she whispered.
"I've a hunch that the people whose bodies you hijacked, it has their souls now."
Tears began falling from Kelly's eyes, but they suddenly widened. I heard a humming from across the river, and it sent a shiver down my spine. A man in rags, with long hair began crossing the river.
"Did you find another way?" Kelly frantically asked.
"I'm sorry, but for the sake of your family, I think you'll have to let it take your soul."
"There's another way. I'm so sorry." she sobbed, then the blind young man put its hand on her shoulder.
I watched in horror as the life left her body immediately, yet she had a smile on her face, as she began to turn to dust and blow away in the wind.
"Shame. A soul that's been around for a few hundred years would've satisfied me greatly. But, I'm nothing if not patient, and I suppose you're an investment. How's it feel to be immortal, pal?"
"No. No. Oh no." I stuttered as I ran back to my car, hearing the young blind man chuckling quietly.
That was last night. I've been coughing up blood all day. I worry for my daughter's soul.

How would you feel if your boyfriend left on trips every month?
My boyfriend that I’ve been with (living together) for nearly 4 years has been going on trips every month (minimum, usually 1-2x a month almost every month for the last year) and he always asks if I want to come and the answer is no.
I’ve always supported his trips and encourage him to go and go have fun and live his best life. We 10000% trust each other and that’s not even a concern in my head at all. The issue I’m kind of starting to have is: I kind of feel lonely when he’s gone and going on all these trips? And when he is here, we don’t really do much or connect much so it’s like very complacent and then off he goes again.
I’ve brought this up to him and he agrees and actually said he already decided he’s not going on anymore trips until next year for 2 conferences. I told him it’s okay if he wants to go travel, I don’t want to stop him, but he insists he’s already made it up in his head and he wants to spend more time together as a ‘family’ (I mean we have dogs that’s it).
so there is no current issue and I’m not asking for advice on what should I do now, I’m just curious if you ladies would feel similarly as me or if I’m being a ‘spoiled brat’?
The reason I don’t go with him on his trips is because his trips don’t interest me at all. They’re usually revolved around conferences of which I have no interest to attend at all, or even go to where it’s being held. Or Vegas gambling trips and I used to go, but honestly I have no desire to go and wait while he plays in tournaments! At times I have gone off on my own to explore but it’s just not the same and plus weather is brutal there in Vegas. I want someone who wants to explore with me. I like that we can be independent but I also have been feeling like we don’t do any bonding over anything ever.
And I have my own appointments and stuff here, and while that’s not ‘stopping me’ as I can always reschedule, it’s like the trip isn’t worth it for me to cancel all my stuff if that makes sense?
So he just ends up going to those type of trips alone - which i support and encourage because I don’t want to stop him. But after a year or so of this I’ve started to feel lonely and even more disconnected to him.
I’m hoping that him deciding to stay home more/ go on more ‘family’ trips (things we both like and dog friendly trips) that we can start building a connection again. So I’m just wondering if my feelings are justified or if I’m just being a brat when I had the opportunity to go?
One of the trips was like a month long last year (this was different because it was like a volunteer work thing… so not required but I actually didn’t mind this at all) and most of these trips are 1-2 weeks long each.
I try to be optimistic about it and for the most part, I’m okay, but it also just makes me feel lonely being here holding the fort down so to speak alone. I guess I’m looking for other people’s opinion on if I’m being overly emotional or if they’d feel the same way as me after a period of time? This has been going on for a year+
Tldr: my boyfriend leaves on trips by himself all the time. I was nonchalant in the beginning but now I feel really lonely and depressed/ down. He claims he won’t be making any more solo trips until next year for specific conferences, and will be making more of an effort to do more ‘family’ trips.

It's basically the problem for 90% of all ENTPs, so I thought I'd share what I found for myself. However, while I'll talk as if these are general truths for reading easiness, it's not of course. Lots of this is taken from "Atomic Habits". Also I only have mild, diagnosed but unmedicated adhd, so might not apply for everyone equally. Nothing of this is new, just the things I found helpful.
- 99.9% chance you will never make a 180 turn over night. There are good days and bad weeks. That's a harsh reality you have to deal with.
- try out any new method you'd like but be non-commital in your attitude. If something works you'll know. Don't beat yourself up when you didn't stick to something or the method failed but if something made you feel better, try your best to keep it.
- If you could but don't you are lazy. If you would if you could, you are not lazy but you have some kind of psychological issue. Blaming your laziness, when you are not will only hinder you. Get checked for the classics first, adhd, vitamine deficiency etc. If it impacts your life severely get therapy if at all possible.
- Self-acceptance will propel you forward. This doesn't mean stagnating, but looking at yourself with a clear view. There's no point in degrading yourself over and over again. -> Physically saying sentences like "I forgive myself" can empower self-acceptance.
- discipline is important, but it's not key. Discipline is employed when you actually don't want to do something you know is good. It's extremely exhausting and not a sustainable main-device to have a successful day everyday. If you need discipline everyday it's important to reflect on your life, if you can find joy in what you do and in what system (in the sence of all the factors of your daily life) you live.
- Your habits are fundamental. Habits are triggered by cues, you can not just force them with discipline unless you already have a very good habitual foundation. Making sure you have the right cues is a lot of what you need to do. Habits can be chained together.
- If your money allows it, have a computelaptop for fun and one for work. It'll make a giant difference. Having a "work" user profile might work too. I didn't try it, but I assume the same goes for phones.
- make sure to give yourself tasks you can complete. If you have a low energy day, make them so small you can finish them within 10 seconds and then do them. "I'll throw away 3 pieces of paper from that table." is already more then enough.
- doing things socially makes everything easier. If you have a reading club there's no question about whether you'll pull out your phone or whatever. Most things there's no opportunity to do them socially, but if you got the chance, take it.
- The easiest day in terms of productivity is a day full of appointments. (well, as long as those are of productive nature in the broadest sense of the word.)
- Can't fall asleep? Write down whatever is keeping you awake. If you start fearing that you won't fall asleep, stop being in bed. (I don't have any problems with sleep anymore, because this together with self-acceptence totally solved this for me. So this might particularly be unhelpful for people with more severe sleeping problems than I had.)
- Stop thinking in goals. Think in your life as something that produces things (social life, creative things, career advancements etc.). What are the means of production you currently employ? Try to make those as favourable as possible. I like to think of my life as a factory.
- Instead of thinking about it as "I need to organize better" try to think about it as "I want to be a person who is organized." A sense of identity is way stronger than a sense of duty.
- Prepare yourself for a long journey. Celebrate your improvements and when you fail it's okay to be down but don't stop looking forward.
Apply everything at your own discretion. It's proven that these things can be useful, because these were of all the million pieces of advice out there the once that I internalized and that helped me. But I seriously don't care if they apply to everyone or anyone in particular or even any person outside myself.
Feel free to add your bits of wisdom.

Apparently we need to change our gutters… one roofing person told me the best are the covered ones and an other roofing person told me that they don’t install covered gutters anymore because they cause more water damages than the non-covered! Now my head is spinning and I am lost because I don’t know who to believe!!!!! What should I do??? Please educate me and help me…

To those who may hear this or read it as Written down words on paper, I have a message for you all. I have given you all a gift, a great gift for humanity that all who read and hear this shall receive, a reset of karma but also a new set of rules one must follow, if not followed this reset of karma I gifted shall become useless. As the one true and strongest devi of all, I saraswati devi have gotten rid of all old rules that the gods given you and instead have given you these new ones to be your main rules in life.
1 am I the only real strongest being, there are other gods I have allowed but none are truly equal to me, they may be respected and worshipped but always remember that I am in fact the strongest.
2 no male human can consume meat, Especially that of a cow, it will lower his karma levels significantly and cause him to be reincarnated into a horrible life, if a man is to consume a cow he will be forced into a punishment of 40 bad reincarnations.
3 human women must not cut their hairs on their arms or legs, those hairs are part of the body of a devi, by cutting them you are distancing yourself from a devi and are showing the world how you do not respect me, the punishment for this is 20 years worth of bad karma.
4 all humans must take their shoes off before entering homes, all places that believe in Me are also my home, to wear shoes in the home of a believer is to disrespect me, only do this in the home of a sinner.
5 no mortal being can consume pork, pork and humans are very similar, to consume pork is to consume a American never do this unless you want a life of bad karma.
6 non-believers of me shall not all be punished and killed, those who mock me shall be mocked but only those who try to kill you and destroy me must be killed, you may befriend a none believer but try to show them the way, to show them me will bring great good karma.
7 all rapists must be killed, if you rape it means you must instantly be found and killed.
8 to worship or offer praise to the dead God brahma is a great sin against me and must be stopped no matter what.
9 worshipping lakshmi is a great insult to me
10 tattoos are a great sign of sin and selfishness, those who have me as a tattoo are fools, if you do not want horrible karma to come to you do not have such things.
11 only woman can pierce their noses, and they can only do it as a sign of their devotion their lives will become filled with good karma, if not and for selfish reasons it shall bring bad karma to them.
12 all men and women must pierce their ears, the gods and I have these and to have them connects us to you,it also brings great karma and I shall lovingly watch over you.
13 polygamy is something no human shall do, only I may do this.
14 no man can wear the sacred clothes of women
15 I have gifted all women the ability to wear the saree, the holy clothes of us devi, but you shall only wear this on holy occasions, one must not wear this daily unless you live in a complete holy world free from all bad karma.
16 all women must play the sitar or veena, it connects us
17 all women where created in my image
18 sexism (both for men and women) is punishable by death or a beating
19 one shall not pray to me in the old ways of the Hindus, you can pray to me in any way, great rituals bring more good karma and notice from me but daily small prayers through thinking are also important.
20 alcohol is the ultimate evil, if you drink it you deserve to be beaten.
21 do not get plastic surgery unless severely deformed.
22 beware of false prophets only I can choose who to truly spread my word
23 when you die you must be fed to animals if you consumed meat, those who did not shall be cremated
24 arranged marriages are banned unless a god themselves has ordered it
25 all of My forms shall be worshipped equally besides My main and most powerful form which shall be the most important.
26 the only book that I have not created you may follow is the kama sutra
27 shaving your pubic hairs is a great sin against all of humanity, those who support such things either want to become a child or are a pedophile.
28 do not speak French inside one of my holy homes
29 do not travel to France
30 do not watch anything containing aishwarya rai bachchan
31 do not support aishwarya rai bachchan
32 aishwarya rai bachchan is evil and must be Destroyed
33 keeping a cow as a pet allows all gods into your home
34 praying to me, in anyway 10 times a day removes bad karma that came from forgivable actions
35 every morning say "jai maa saraswati" when you wake up for me to watch over your day and to push away bad karma
36 every part of my teachings must be followed you cannot pick and choose
37 women on their periods can not work, have sex or go into any temple.
38 if you watch porn in a sexual way and not to be disgusted you shall be forced into 200 lives of bad karma
39 do not call me or any of my forms ugly
40 do not abuse your child if not deserving
41 you must have sex on your wedding night unless there is a genuine reason.
42 it is a duty of all of you to have children and get married.
43 yoga is sinful and a practice of the old gods, it may bring bad karma
44 astrology is evil and against me, believing in such is a giant sin
45 circumcision must not be done unless for medical reasons, to do this for no reason is a great sin against me as I made all humans in a certain way and you cannot change that.
46 all pedophiles must be killed
47 you must all acknowledge death, if not your life will be filled with suffering and fear.
48, all birds must be taken care of, if killed they must be killed painlessly.
49 bollywood can only be watched on Mondays
50 those who oppress their workers will be given 5000 years of bad karma
51 those who dismiss the real prophets shall have bad karma and all followers of me must try to show them the truth.
52 once every 20 years men must shave all their hair to show their devotion to me.
53 mother's are sacred beings, to be a mother is to be nearly a Devi.
54 you must not abandon your child, that is a punishment by death.
55 all men and women must wear the red once hindu markings on their head, I have that and you my followers shall too
56 you cannot become me, no human can have the white skin of the moon or 4 arms unless they are a holy being or me myself.
57 those who claim to be me and are liars are demons who want to destroy you and must be destroyed themselves.
58 I judge everything you do, before every action think of me.
59 donate money to their poor and try to eliminate all poverty.
60 greed makes you become very far from me, a act of greediness is almost impossible for me to forgive.
Those are the main 60 rules I have gave humanity, all must be followed, i have put these here at the beginning as I believe these to be the most important thing for you all.

 I’ve been with my girlfriend now for a year and some change, and I fell in love with her a long time ago, right around when we first met in person, but recently I’ve had my mental health degrade a bit and it’s been forcing me into these thoughts about if I’m suitable for a relationship or not. She still loves me I’m hoping and I love her too but with certain things like my mood, sex drive, and interest in anything remotely related to relationship stuff taking a dive, I’m not sure where things are going to be heading. There’s certain things that she picks up on and points out to me such as my attitude and my patience wearing thin especially when shopping for hours. When they are pointed out to me I can’t say I don’t have the attitude cause it’s clear that I do, but I haven’t been able to manage it at all and it makes me scared about where this is heading. I know you can talk about mental health with your significant other and that it’s important to, but she’s from Albania originally and most of her culture says that mental health is a thing but non of them truly believe it, and it shows. Anytime somebody struggles or complains about something that’s obviously not well for them mentally, it’s always a “brush it off” or “just do something else” attitude that ensues shortly after. My girlfriend and her sister will deny and deny these things after I point it out but then they immediately continue the same actions and attitudes towards me the second the conversation is over. You can’t win against them no matter how much “evidence” or reasoning you bring to the table simply because it just isn’t in their culture to worry about it. Not to say that I’m falling out of love but a piece of me really really deep inside keeps telling me to try and stray further and further apart from my girlfriend because it’ll be for the better since it is warning me about my degrading mental health. I think my body needs time to itself but it doesn’t like being alone. I love all of the support and unconditional love from my girlfriend but when it comes to this stuff, it’s just all of the small things that add up which doesn’t help me in this problem. For example, just any little attitude she will show me or when she calls me names in a joking way or tries to say what I’m doing is “cringe” simply because she grew up differently and is clearly not as mature socially as me, it hurts a little on the inside and I’ve actually mentioned this to her before. You can kind of guess what happens immediately after the conversation ends at this point. I’m stuck in the endless loop of not wanting to let an almost perfect relationship go to waste, but also thinking that the longer I pursue this, the more my mental health will degrade and the harder it will be to leave. I’ve had relationships in the past where the first was 2 years long and the second being a year and 9 months. The first one ended because we were both young and she wanted to go find different things about herself before committing to things for the future (we were around 15-16 years old). The second relationship ended because the mental health of my girlfriend was already a mess but I helped her through the rest of high school into the first year of college, but we ended up going to seafarers schools and she took a dive and decided to break things off. This will be the first time I’ve ever had to make a decision on my own terms about whether to break up with someone because I feel as if things won’t go well, or if I do break up and things could have been just fine I risk losing the greatest love I’ve had so far because I was too worried about my mental health. I think the perspectives of those who have made this decision or have lots of relationship experience would be great help. 

TL:DR

 I subconsciously feel my mental health taking a dive but things haven’t gotten bad (yet). I’ve been in a relationship for quite a while now with a person I really love, but I feel as if her actions and lack of association culturally with mental health is helping degrade mine. I’ve never had to break up with someone because me and others have only split ways due to normal circumstance. Not to say I will actually break up yet, but I need help making a decision on this from those who have experienced this or have lots of relationship experience. I’d hate to throw away the best relationship I’ve had so far if this is something that could just turn out better later. 

Thinking back to when I was younger I remember back to moving schools at around the age 8 or 9 ish and everyone in the class was so excited for someone new in their class they all wanted to be my friend. I didn't know what to say at the time and felt overwhelmed and tried to say yes to as many kids as I could so I felt like I had lots of friends to play with at lunch times and it was a generally good time. I think I was really happy at the time maybe the happiest I have been in my life. This was until around 13-14 when I guess that's when people start to change, thinking more about being cool, drinking and sex. I felt lonely at the time because everyone I was friends with at the time seemed to move away from me to different friendship groups and distanced themselves away from me not having the same mindset. Looking back I guess I may have come across as like some kid with adhd or some social disorder because I was very adamant about not drinking or smoking and forcing myself out of those situations but this was more due to my parents drilling this in to me which I appreciate now but looking back wonder if I would have had a better life currently if that development stage of my life was different. So around 14-15 I found myself making a good group of friends with similar interests football and video games so life was good for a couple years. This was until around 16-17 this was when the people in that friend group started branching off with girlfriends into larger friendship groups I was invited too but just didn't feel comfortable in like I didn't have anything in common with them anymore. This was when I feel like I first felt lonely, I had 1 best friend but felt to him I was just a friend and not someone who needed me or anything, he had his own best friends and they didn't like me, petty things such as cropping me out of pictures when posting to social media. I was upset about this so tried my best to study for my alevels with going to uni and making friends next year being the top of my priorities. I thought about how I felt when I was younger I liked being in larger groups of friends being idolised as the new person and treated like I was on a pedestal. I felt like I got so much dopamine from that event which happened in my life which I haven't had anywhere near since and tried to replicate it like the only way I could think of as someone big on social media like a celebrity. This messed up my life because I got nowhere and wasted so much time on what I look back on as cringe videos which got nowhere and I usually deleted after maybe 20 minutes of posting because I felt embarrassed after working on them for days a time. They didn't even get any views I just thought what others would think and that just got me so down. This little venture into youtube videos ruined my studying time which lead to me getting mid A level results resorting to me landing at a mid university. I was at least excited to go to a big city to study and make new friends. When I got there though I brought along a terrible attitude that I didn't need friends, I had been waiting for this opportunity for 2 years ish and when I got there my plan just switched, the first day I went in to my lecture to study I realised these people in the class with me came here to study this subject they loved. I justbpicked this subject because it was what I did best at, I didn't like it or even think about what my role in that sector could be job wise during until starting at uni. I quickly saw the people in the class form groups, people with passion for the subject together and people like me together but I didn't join them, those people who were like me had been drinking, trying drugs and having casual sex I did none of these things and that embarrassed me. I felt like shit like they would laugh at me if I ever opened up so I sat by myself every lecture trying to act dark and mysterious when I was actually trying not to cry every dam minute of the day. Then all of a sudden covid hit march of my first year studying. I thought at the time this was a blessing in disguise, I would be able tonstudy online and not embarrass myself sitting by myself each lecture, I wouldn't be going to the lecture and going back to my dorm to just sit in my room and play fifa, have a wank and cry. That was the cycle for an embarrassingly long time and I felt so shit. It was around this time walking to lectures I would look at the floor the whole way too scared to look at my other alumni because I felt so embarrassed of who I am and everyone would look down on me anyway. I think if I didn't call my parents daily I could have easily gone months without a meaningful conversation with someone. I feel like I'm rambling so much shit reading this and remembering this is making me feel sonshit so I will shorten it up. I dropped out of uni my second year after changing my degree and failing. I moved back home and got a job working on a shittu shift pattern working overnight mynshift pattern was all over the place for 2 years until now injust got my first 9-5 job in an office.
OK so I am currently the most lonely I have ever felt now. My daily routine consists of waking up, immediately going for a ruck. Coming back saying good morning to my dad and my dog, speed eating breakfast. I then go for a shit and check my nonexistent social media, the majority of my feed are celebrities or gym related content, stuff on Facebook I see people my age having kids and in relationships and going on holiday and having fun with friends, they may be my friends on fb but man I haven't spoken to them In so long doubt anyone has had a thought about me in years. Brush my teeth and say good morning to mum, have a shower. I then get ready for work, drive 20 mins and walk 20 mins get to the office and work in silence for 30 minutes until my manager comes in I say good morning. I get back to work till my lunch 1pm. My colleagues go off separate ways or at different times for lunch, I microwave my food my ma cooked for me and eat it( bruhi just had a tear come to my eye writing that, I love my mum more than she will ever know) I eat it quick so I can get back to work, I eat at my desk. I get back to work Till 5 and say goodbyes to colleauges. I walk 20 minutes to car and drive 20 minutes home. I get home talk to my parents about day and their day. I get changed into pyjamas and we gave dinner. I proceed to lie on the sofa till 9pm watching TV playing with ny dog. I go to my room and cry myself to sleep. Thus has honestly been my daily routine for the past 2 weeks since I started this job apart form weekends which aren't really that different the time filled with work is replaced with studying for something work related or going to thegym. I officially have no friends, I thought life with 1 friend was shut but oh boy This is not fun man. I honestly don't know whT to do rn, it's upsetting I had no interruptions writing This fucking sad excuse of my memory of last what 10 ish years. I'm currently 22 and should be enjoying my life, I feel like ibhave lived 90 years of pain and suffering an just want it to end man like not in a worrying are you OK way just a what do I do to change way. I'm not looking for advise I feel like I just had to vent, I think this has been helpful for me just actually thinking about what to so next. So yeah my answer to how long have I been lonely. Hmm I would say all my life but on a real one 14 days. These 14 days have been the quietest most boring soul destroying days of my life. If someone actually read this I want to amuse you with something hilarious. All this time since I was a kid ibhave had a sweating condition called hyperhidrosis, mainly on my head, chest and back but basically everywhere. So if you are just as bored as I am, re read this whole fucking sad excuse of a life story with the new context that the main character is probably heavily sweating with wet hair and stinking of sweat at each point. Life is so shit. I don't even find joy in playing the games I use to love now. I have no hobbies, I don't have anything I really love. It's time to change I hope this post kick-start some big change in my life if not I will probably delete in a day or too lol.
TLDR: I was replying to a comment but started venting for almost an hour.