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I picked up a bunch of "Greetings from Niagara Falls" postcards when I was there a few weeks ago. If you like the "Greetings from..." postcards, then you'll like this one.
For RAoCers who have posted an offer or Thank you in past 30 days.
To claim: Comment below where you are from and your fave vacation spot/fave Country, etc.
I'll reach out for addresses, if I don't have yours.
Offer will close when I run out of postcards.

Episode 01: Bigger! Badder! Brutal-er!
The scene faded into a shot of the Earth from space, an astronaut banging on a small communications satellite in the foreground with a wrench. The satellite had the letters 'TDRI' scrawled on the front in black.
"We've been to the movies," the voice of Chris McLean began as the satellite seemed to whir into function, lights on either end of it glowing green. "We've been around the world!" Just as the astronaut gave the camera thumbs-up, the satellite suddenly failed with a jolt of electricity and broke apart, the astronaut palming the visor of their helmet. "And this season," Chris said as the camera rapidly began to zoom in towards northern Canada, "we're going right back where it all began," the camera past through layers of cloud to reach a beautiful morning sky, then panned down to an all-too-familiar island, "at Camp Wawanakwa!"
Chris McLean was already standing just off-center on the dock, right by the 'Wawanakwa' sign – both of which looked like they'd gone through some heavy wear and tear. "I'm Chris Mclean," the host formally introduced himself, "and as you can see, things have changed since we've been away." He walked down the dock to where a male red-shirted intern of southeast Asian descent waited with a coconut drink on a platter; the right side of the camp's sign fell down as he passed by, taking out a small piece of the dock.
"And by changed," the host said with a darkly expectant smile, "I mean gotten really, really, dangerous!" He took the coconut drink from the intern. As soon as he did so a giant pink tentacle rose from the lake with a terrifying roar, and slammed down on the dock – Chris calmly sidestepped it, but the intern and a sizable chunk of the end of the dock were smashed into the water. "Good stuff," the host laughed.
"But the rules of the game remain the same," he told the camera, the scene changing to a panning shot of one of the cabin rooms, a cockroach scurrying over the lens. The room itself looked about the same as it had three seasons ago – decrepit and old-fashioned, but boringly so. "A handful of unsuspecting teens will bunk with complete strangers," Chris explained during the pan, the shot cutting to a stained piece of male underwear nailed to a wooden door that promptly opened to reveal the old outhouse confessional within, "air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional, and compete in life-threatening challenges all over the island," the camera cut to a long-distance shot of the thousand-foot-high-cliff, zooming in on the gleamingly jagged rocks in the water below it, "and risk being voted off," Chris continued as the shot cut to the clearing, firepit, oil drum, and eleven stump-seats used for Campfire Ceremonies of the past.
"Last one standing wins," the shot cut from the elimination area to a still image of a wheelbarrow overflowing with money, "one, million, DOLLARS!" A short, grand, and victorious tune blared as the shot zoomed in on the prize money.
"Speaking of our cast," Chris said back on the Dock of Shame as a cool rock theme began to play, "here they are now!"
The shot cut to a small but luxurious red-striped yacht where the twenty-four contestants of the past three seasons could be seen more-or-less enjoying themselves. Brick and Courtney were making out on the starboard side while Ella, Ezekiel, and Sadie danced nearby, Eva looking away from them. On the stern deck, Mike, Owen, and Sky were dancing and Izzy was hanging upside down swinging life rings with Noah watching with disinterest. On a higher sternward balcony, Dawn was meditating, Beth was reading a book, and Cody and Harold played with video game handhelds. Shawn dropped down on the group unexpectedly from even higher up, startling all four. And at the bow, Heather leaned coolly against the port-side railing and smiled at the camera, Topher was looking at his reflection in a mirror, Jo and Lightning arm-wrestled on the railing next to them, Amy and Rodney were dancing to music that Duncan was setting up on his boombox, and Lindsay sat on the very foremost point of the railing posing.
Chris waved at the yacht as it approached...and kept on going, the music scratching to a halt instead of the ship. "NOOOO!" Owen hollered in surprise in anguish as the boat sailed off-screen, and Chris laughed.
"No, not them," he told the camera as it zoomed back in on him. "This season, we've got all new players, fighting for the million!" he announced as the music turned tense and grandiose. "And here they come now, for real!"
The shot cut to another yacht approaching, similar to the last one but with its stripes a pale teal instead of red. Several teens could be standing along the bow, port-side, upper deck, and stern, and the camera cut to those at the head of the ship – Molly and Dave.
"Meet Molly," Chris said, the girl noticing the boy next to her feeling scared.
"What’s the matter? We’re just going to compete where the show started," Molly assured the boy.
"Dave," Chris continued, and the boy blinked.
"Yeah, but I didn't know that the island would consist of toxic waste," Dave told the girl before breaking out the hand sanitizer and rubbing his hands and arms with it, causing the indie girl to raise an eyebrow.
The camera panned to the right to show the next two campers in line – Scott and Trent.
"Scott! And, Trent!" Chris continued.
"Why are you carrying a guitar around?" Scott asked Trent, who was happily tuning up his guitar.
"So I can practice my songs at camp," Trent smiled at the grumpy boy.
"Max!" Chris announced next, the pale boy in question suddenly and without warning popping up between Scott and Trent with enough force to knock the two to the sides with startled cries. From the evil smile he was sporting to the pale skin, everything about him radiated villainy.
"These compestants have no idea what awaits them when we arrive," Max said, speaking darkly as a dark tune played in the background. "For I am the definition of pure evil!" Max degenerated into laughter as the camera panned away from him, showing Leshawna and Sammy, the next contestants.
"Leshawna," Chris introduced the large girl witnessing Max's introduction.
"That boy is not right in the head," Leshawna shook her head with disapproval.
"Sammy," Chris introduced the nervous cheerleader.
"He is a bit free-spirited," Sammy said timidly while holding her left arm.
The camera panned right again to show B. He snapped his fingers for the audience.
"B," Chris finally introduced, "and Scarlett," he added, the camera panning further right to show the girl next to B reading a book.
"You seem confident to be here," Scarlett said dryly without taking her eyes off her book. "Do you know about the substance of toxic waste and radiation?" B nodded in agreement, impressing Scarlett. "That's good to know."
"Katie," Chris continued as the scene cut to a spot further down the yacht, showing the girl holding her tablet.
"Just in," Katie waved pleasantly at the camera. "I'm about to be competing for a million dollars, I-"
As she spoke the camera panned away to Anne Maria spraying her hair.
"Anne Maria," Chris introduced.
"Oh yeah!" Anne Maria looked at the camera. "Three more coats oughta do it."
She was interrupted when Katie walked back into the shot. "Not to be rude," she looked at the camera, "but you panned away before I could finish my introduction."
"Sorry, viral," Anne Maria smirked. "The camera just loves me more."
"Geoff," Chris introduced next as he dashed onto the scene, putting himself next to the two girls.
"Okay, girls," Geoff said in what was a chill tone, "let's not get off on the wrong foot. You'll get more camera time after we're all introduced."
Anne Maria proceeded to spray her hair again, the cloud causing Geoff and Katie to cough profusely.
"Sierra," Chris introduced next, the camera panning up to the girl standing on the upper balcony.
She was hurriedly typing into her phone. "I can't wait to step foot on Camp Wawanakwa and talk about it on my blog!" Sierra said, looking around in amazement until a small flock of pigeons flew past and knocked her over the railing with a scream.
"And DJ," Chris finished as Sierra landed next to the fourteenth and final competitor of the season.
DJ looked down as Sierra landed and gasped. "Oh snap! Let me help you up!" DJ quickly bent down and helped Sierra up. "There you go."
"Yup!" Chris said as the shot cut back to him on the Dock of Shame. "It's our roughest, toughest, most explosive season ever!" He took out a remote control, and pressed the large central button with his thumb.
The yacht that the new contestants were sailing in on suddenly exploded, sending all fourteen of them flying and screaming in every direction.
Chris took a casual sip of his coconut drink, then looked at the camera and raised a finger high. "Right here," he said as a faint version of the series' capstone theme played, "on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!" The shot jumped outward as the title was said, showing Wawanakwa island in its entirety with a few plumes of smoke in the distance marking where the yacht had exploded.
xxx
(Fade to Opening Theme)
[The sequence begins much as it did three seasons ago, with an open into letterbox format as the camera focuses on the tops of a few distant pine trees. A rusty stage light rotates up and turns on; then the shot changes to a cobwebby spotlight swinging down and turning on as well; then a small security camera popping out of one of several leaky toxic waste barrels; then another camera bursting out of a tree hollow, held by an octopus tentacle and dislodging a few bones; then a pair of fair-skinned arms clapping a film slate in front of the camera which switches to a shot of the island, briefly showing a giant octopus looking out of the lake to the right, then flying forward down the dock and past the buildings, passing under a totem pole that Chris was sitting on and which was being carried by a trio of male interns of mismatched heights.]
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
[The camera rapidly flies through the trees as the lyrics begin, quickly reaching the top of the thousand-foot-high cliff.]
You guys are on my mind!
[It looks down at the ring of buoys in the water below and dives, immediately cutting to an underwater view as the bubbles disperse to reveal Sammy gagging with several vicious-looking fish watching her hungrily until a claw-like machine grabbed her and pulled her up to the surface.]
You asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
[Up in a canoe, B tinkered with the machine, and looked up as it pulled Sammy out of the water and into the sky.]
I wanna be...famous!
[The scene lingers on Sammy in front of the sun for a moment, then quick-pans left to Katie in the middle of the woods posing as she is filming herself; a falling Sammy abruptly hits her on the back and knocks both to the ground. Katie lifts her head to look at the cheerleader, who just smiles bashfully. Geoff runs past them as the camera pans left to Sierra sitting on a tree branch and texting on her phone. Gophers suddenly pop up from the ground and roar, causing Sierra to flee.]
I wanna live close to the sun!
[At the top of a waterfall, Molly and Trent float downriver in a canoe. Trent was playing a song on his guitar, to which Molly was vibing to until she finally spotted the waterfall. Both screamed as they went over the edge.]
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
[The camera pans down to DJ, balancing a log on his finger. Though he does not see the canoe falling behind him, he does see Molly and Trent as they fall right on top of him, breaking the log he was holding onto and sending all three into the water.]
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
[Scott is laughing at the three's misfortune, and a monstrous shark with arms and legs bursts out of the outhouse with a toothy grin, making Scott run away.]
I'll get there one day.
[The camera pans to the Mess Lodge, Chef Hatchet's silhouette visible in the window. Zooming in to the room shows him stirring a pot of some greenish slop with a dark grin, and the shot pans over to show Max cackling wickedly until Chef shoves a spoon full of slop into his mouth.]
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
[Another pan to the left reveals Anne Maria spraying her hair. Once she realized she was being recorded, she glared at the camera and sprayed it with her can. The spray cloud moves the scene out of the lodge and into the beach, where Scarlett is calmly reading her book – until a hawk flew right in just to snag it and flew away, much to Scarlett's unamusement.]
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera pans away from Scarlett and on to Dave applying hand sanitizer. A furry hand taps him on the shoulder, distracting the germaphobe and allowing the arm to snatch away the sanitizer. Dave realizes what's happened, and rushes angrily at the large hairy ape-man now using the hand sanitizer.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera pans down to the end of the dock to show Leshawna, blowing a kiss before taking a few steps back. She busts out a few dance moves of her own.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[A sudden splash of water comes down on the sista, interrupting her dancing and causing her to send a frown upward – Chris is hovering above him in a jetpack and helmet, holding an empty bucket. He drops the bucket then flies off, the flames from his jetpack taking over the screen. It becomes night as they peter out, and the camera pans down across the stars and treetops and full moon to Anne Maria and Geoff sitting at a campfire together. As they lean towards each other with expectant smiles they are interrupted and separated by Chef Hatchet, wearing a hazmat suit and holding a glowing green marshmallow between them with a pair of heavy tongs.
The shot zooms out to show the rest of the cast looking shocked, whistling the last few notes of the song – Trent, Leshawna, B, Scott, Dave, and Katie on Anne Maria's side; Max, Sammy, Molly, Scarlett, DJ, and Sierra on Geoff's side; and Chris standing next to Chef on Geoff's side as well. The shot continued to zoom out until a signboard was shown marking the presumed entrance to the fire pit; it read 'TOTAL DRAMA REVENGE OF THE ISLAND' in block letters, the third word being the largest and the last word relegated to a board tacked on at the end.]
XXXXX
"AAAAHHH!" Max screamed, the episode fading in to him landing hard on a rock jutting out of the water. "Why must a villainous mastermind suffer like this?" he groaned, pitifully sliding into the water as Anne Maria swam past in the background.
"Chris is so getting a beatdown for this!" Anne Maria said to herself.
Sammy was shown swimming by clinging to a piece of driftwood, then looking to the side at the sound of someone coming up behind her. "Sorry about this!" Trent shouted as he shot past like a torpedo.
The camera followed Trent as he swam past Molly. "There is a thing called open space!" Molly said before continuing her swim.
The shot cut back to Max, now flailing his arms as he struggled not to drown. "Spaz," Scott said as he swam past him.
Max finally sank below the water, but fortunately Scarlett quickly swam over and dived down.
"I pity you, and I also don't want you dead," Scarlett informed as she surfaced, pulling a coughing Max back up with her.
"Get me to land now!" Max demanded.
The camera cut to Geoff. He reached another rock jutting out of the water and pulled himself up onto it. "Okay. How am I gonna get myself to shore?" The party guy then saw a long piece of wood shaped like a surfboard and grabbed it. "I think I know what to do!"
Positioning himself on the rock while laying belly first on the wood, Geoff boosted himself off the rock and rocketed through the water, even managing to get up and maintain himself.
The shot cut to Scarlett helping Max swim to shore, only for a surfing Geoff to unknowingly splash water onto the both of them, causing them to fall under the water.
Leshawna sputtered as she sank and struggled to stay afloat. "I don't think I can stay up for much longer!"
"I'm on it!" DJ and Katie said, appearing out of nowhere and swimming to the girl.
"Oops. You can go first. Sorry if I interrupted," Katie apologized.
"No no. You can go instead. I think it was the other way around," DJ offered.
"Well, I mean, if you insist," Katie chuckled until the hand of Leshawna held onto Katie's head for support, dragging her down.
DJ panicked. "Hang on! I'm coming!" He dived down and got both Leshawna and Katie, the former spitting out water.
"If we weren't in water right now, I'd be tweeting about you saving me," Katie commented.
Confessional: DJ
"So this is my first confessional," DJ opened while looking around the outhouse confessional. "I've watched the first season, and this is where the contestants come in to talk about their feelings or strategy or whatnot."
"We're all newcomers here, so if I see anyone struggling, I'll be there to help them out," he continued with a smile before frowning. "Right after I get used to this island first."
Confessional: Katie
"Hello," Katie said in the next confessional to her tablet. "This is the first time I am in the Total Drama confessional. It's a little disgusting, but that's for another time!" She continued with her perky smile and put her tablet away. "I came onto this show in order to promote my vlogging expertise and gain more followers. I'm a bit of an advice guru, so don't be surprised if I have a solution for some sticky situations." She laughed blissfully. "That was so alliterative!"
Confessionals End
The footage resumed with a rather wet Trent on shore. He looked around, then cheered in victory. "Yes! I'm first!" he cheered. "And my guitar is in one piece-"
His face dropped as he looked to his left, and the camera panned to show Sierra fixing her wet hair.
"How did you get here before us?" Trent asked.
"I practiced swimming back home in case we have a beach episode," Sierra explained happily.
Dave was the next to come to shore, crawling out of the water. "I'm here!" he panted before falling on his face.
Confessional: Dave
Dave squirted hand sanitizer on his hands, and set his pocket-sized bottle aside on the seat, beginning to rub his hands together to spread the cleaning product. "How did I not read my contract fully? I never would've signed up if I had known how unclean the environment was gonna be."
Confessional Ends
B and Max were the next to make it to dry land, the quiet genius dragging the super villain up the beach on his head with the super villain coughing out water.
Confessional: Max
"I do not like yachts, so it was very enjoyable to have it be destroyed," Max grinned. "I just wish it was me who blew the yacht up instead of being on the receiving end like those other fools," he complained briefly.
"I guarantee you, everybody will be frightened by my abnormally large brain and my super advanced hearing. No one has ever, ever been able to sneak up on me!" he declared confidently just as an orange butterfly flew over him. It landed on his head...and with a sickening bone-crunch, Max started to tilt over. "Begone, brutal butterfly!" he cried in pain, falling over onto the seat under the butterfly's weight.
Confessional Ends
The footage cut back to the beach, showing Trent, Sierra, Dave, B, and Max loitering around a large rock further up the beach and revealing that Scott, Scarlett, Anne Maria, Sammy, Molly, Leshawna, Katie, and DJ had all made it to shore as well.
"This is preposterous!" Max ranted, pouring water out of his shoe. "I am not to be treated with disrespect! Chris will rue the day he met Max Mayhem!"
Molly was sitting next to Max and listening without a care. "Is your last name actually Mayhem? If it's not, I'd respect you for creating your own nickname."
Max was about to answer, but a wave and a dramatic riff signaled that another person had washed up.
It was Geoff, who coughed out a small fish.
Confessional: Geoff
"I wiped out for a while," Geoff confessed. "I’m more into parties and having a good time. As long as I get along with everyone and not be harsh, I can last up to the tenth or eleventh episode."
Confessional Ends
"I can't believe we were blown up before we even got on the island," Sammy said, Katie sitting near her. "I've been watching Total Drama for a while, and I can't even tell what's going to happen next," she looked at the girl.
"It's not your fault. None of us can look into the future," Katie told her before looking at her tablet. "Katchy Katie here, and so far, the island is looking pretty bland," she told her viewers.
"Katchy Katie?" Sammy wondered. "What's that about?"
"That's just my vlog name," Katie explained. "I usually record what's going on in my life so I can tell my viewers what to do and not what to do."
"Could you send me a link to your vlog?" Sammy asked the influencer. "It sounds interesting."
Katie gave a slip of paper with her name on it to Sammy. "Here you go. It's best to always keep track of what you see and know on paper so you won't forget in the future."
"Attention, fresh meat!" Chris announced, the shot cutting to a pair of loudspeakers on a tree nearby, then panning down and right to show that all fourteen campers were now waiting around on the rocky beach. "See that trail leading into the forest?" the host continued, the camera following the contestants' gazes right as they looked at where the beach, trees, and rocks met. "Race to the end of the trail," Chris commanded, "and do not disturb the wildlife! That would be bad."
"Does he seriously think that will frighten us?" Scarlett blew him off.
"The tiniest sound can set them off," Chris continued. "Liiike...THIS!" He blew an airhorn over the intercom, forcing all fourteen campers to cover their ears.
The camera panned over to the distant treetops on the left, the airhorn fading in to a loud, terrifying roar that startled a flock of birds to flight. The music became tense as one tree was knocked over, then another closer to the beach. Finally, the cast screamed and fled into the woods.
\
A clock wipe transitioned the footage ahead to an adorable little purplish bird singing on a branch...until a frog-like tongue snapped out of a hollow behind it and dragged the bird into darkness.
The camera panned down to a finish line, just as Geoff and DJ ran past it with the brickhouse in the lead. "Alright! First place!" DJ turned to the party guy. "Don't worry. Second's not that bad."
"I know," Geoff smiled. "I don't get why people are worked up over it though."
It was then that Chris rode up on a red ATV, his usual smile on his face. "Party Time, two steps left. You're on Team A," he directed, Geoff nodding happily and walking a few steps back towards the finish line. "Big Friendly Giant? Move right. You're on Team B," he told DJ, directing him to the right; he complied just as Scott crossed the finish line, skidding to a stop next to Geoff.
"Pit Sniffer," the host told him, "you're on Team A." Molly slid in next. "Free Spirit, Team B," Chris told her.
"Alright then," Molly said with a smile and ran off to the right. B stopped running and came to a halt.
"Silent Treatment, Team A," Chris told him, causing him to give his signature greeting to Geoff and Scott before Trent arrived. "Guitar Hero, Team B," Chris told him.
"Okay!" Trent went to his designated team.
Sammy and Katie arrived next, the nervous cheerleader bending over to catch her breath and the influencer clutching her chest. "Sour Sport. Team A. Perky Influencer. Team B," Chris said.
"I'm not that bad," Sammy mumbled while Katie ran to her team.
"Blogspot, Team A," Chris continued over a shot of Sierra running and stopping at her team. Dave arrived next. "Germ Avoider, Team B."
The camera zoomed out a little ways from Team A just as Leshawna ran up, panting and out of breath.
"Loud and Proud, Team A," Chris said. "Tan in a Can, Team B," Chris continued as Anne Maria arrived, walking rather than running.
"I'm… so… tired!" Max moaned while dragging himself through the floor.
"Maniacal Max, Team A," Chris directed. As Max joined his teammates they all looked back towards the finish line, with Scarlett simply walking to the finish.
"Aaand Quiet Genius, Team B," Chris finished with a smile.
"What was that thing in the forest?" Sierra said, trudging past her teammates.
"I'm pretty sure that cry does not sound like any normal animal," Trent added.
"Relax, it'll all make sense eventually," Chris explained, his impish smile quickly degenerating into long, evil laughter that caused the two teams to stare at him and look at each other in awkward, nervous confusion.
Chris finally stopped laughing, and wiped a tear from his eye. "Now, this season of Total Drama will be a little bit different," he explained. "For example, in every episode, someone will be eliminated."
The campers gasped, and an ominous chant played in the background. "It's never been that hard before," Sammy remarked in shock.
"I know," Chris told her with a smug grin, "I'm good. But since you're all first-timers, I'm gonna cut you a break and hide this bad boy somewhere in the campgrounds." He held up what appeared to be a small wooden carving of his head, and the shot cut in for a close-up. "A genu-ine McLean Brand Chris Head! Your free ticket back into the game!" The small carving was shown against a radiant white and blue background, an angelic chorus playing as images of Chef Hatchet dressed in a lavender leotard and tutu, angel wings, and a halo flew into the corners of the screen while holding harps and singing.
"Even if your teammates vote you off," he added as B and Geoff were shown staring with wide eyes. "Whoever finds it," Chris continued over a shot of DJ, Dave, Scarlett, and Molly also watching with wide eyes, "will become the most powerful player in Total Drama history!" Both Sierra and Max were shown smiling in awe.
The angelic chorus ended as Chris brought the statue in for a closer look. "Is the cleft on my chin really that big?" he asked in concern.
"Yep, and it looks like a butt," Scott answered, earning an annoyed glare from the host.
"Moving on," Chris said forcefully, "time for the team names!"
"I hope the names won't be stupid!" Molly immediately said. "I don't want to be defined by a name like the Silly Bunnies?"
"You got that right Molly," Chris told her, "The names have been chosen by moi. Team A, you shall henceforth be known as, the Toxic Rats!" A short but energetic riff played as the screen switched to a green, red, and yellow starburst-patterned background, a green logo spinning up to the front. It bore the image of a six-limbed rat standing up on its hindlegs and bearing its teeth menacingly.
The Toxic Rats stared blankly for a moment before Max laughed and said "How evil!"
"And Team B," Chris continued, turning his head to the other six, "you are hereby dubbed, the Mutant Maggots!" A different energetic theme played as a teal, yellow, and orange sunburst-patterned background took over the screen, and a red logo spun up to the front. This one depicted the head of a three-eyed maggot, its mouth frozen in a gaping hiss.
The Mutant Maggots stared blankly for a second as well. "What's with all the chemical waste references?" Dave asked.
The perspective switched to a group shot as another loud roar shook the area. "It's the monster!" Anne Maria shouted in terror, making the others look around in shock.
The shot cut to some distant trees, a flock of birds flying away as one fell, then the camera panned to the right as another closer tree fell. Dave, DJ, and Katie gasped in fear, the brickhouse quickly grabbing the influencer's arm for comfort, and the camera zoomed in on a bush in front of the last fallen tree.
A small hairless squirrel with big yellow eyes jumped out and looked around.
"So we panicked over a small squirrel?" Scarlett said in disbelief.
"Aww, it's kinda cute!" DJ gushed...until it blinked sideways, and he cringed audibly.
"What happened to it?" Katie asked from off-screen as the squirrel happily blinked and looked around some more.
"While we were gone," Chris explained, "I rented the island out to a nice family-oriented biohazardous waste disposal company." As he spoke, the camera cut to a pile of oil barrels stashed in and around a tree. All of the barrels had a hazard sign on them, and most were leaking some sort of foul bubbling green liquid. "Sweet people," the host remarked.
"But," he added as the focus cut back to him on his ATV, "the waste is having a teensy bit of an impact on the flora and fauna." The hairless squirrel was shown again, blinking as a monarch butterfly flew close to it. It snapped out its tongue like a frog, and swallowed the butterfly up.
"This may be odd, but that squirrel is cool!" Geoff said with a grin as Max and Sammy gave him odd looks.
"You know," Leshawna said, cautiously approaching it with a smile on her face, "it looks weird but I'm sure it's perfectly harmless! Am I right?" She reached out to pet it, and it roared the same deep and terrifying roar that had scared them all earlier, then shot lightning from its eyes at the ground Leshawna was standing on. Leshawna screamed and ran away, and the squirrel blew her a raspberry before hopping back into the bush.
Chris was laughing hysterically as the shot cut to Leshawna jumping into the arms of a surprised Geoff in fear. The camera cut back to Chris as he stopped laughing, then in an elated and dramatic tone said "Most. Danger. Ev-er~!" as an equally sharp and dramatic tune played.
Confessional: Leshawna
"That guy is some kind of crazy," Leshawna confessed to the outhouse camera in outrage. "Adding toxic waste to the island? That's gotta be a criminal offense if it endangers us."
Confessional Ends
"Now," Chris said with a wide smile as the scene cut back to him once again, "before we start our very first challenge of the season, let's give out some rewards. DJ," he turned to the left, "because you made it up here before anyone else, your team gets a trampoline!" A grand tune played as the shot cut to a close-up of the trampoline, and moments later Chef Hatchet bounced down upon it. "And the Rats, get a hacksaw," Chris added, the shot cutting upwards to show his glowering assistant holding the tool in question.
Chef suddenly lost his balance and fell with a crash; Max laughed and had the hacksaw thrown at his head for it; and Scarlett silently laughed too, and in turn got crushed by the trampoline that was thrown at her, making her groan in pain.
"What do these items have to do with this bomb?" Chris asked, holding up a square of plastic explosives with a wireless timed detonator attached to it.
"Uhh, he's not gonna blow us up again, is he?" Trent nervously asked an equally nervous Scarlett.
"Who knows," Chris said with a sly smile, leaning in between the two with the bomb. "Find out when we come back!"
(Fade to Commercial)

So, we already discussed what DC was doing to match the tenor of the early years of the War on Terror: A grim, smarter-than-it-thinks miniseries full of gratuitous rape that was meant to take the shine off the Silver Age by showing the darker side of its greatest heroes. Marvel, on the other hand, was trying to find a way to capture the zeitgeist of a post-9/11 era of existential threats, constant government surveillance, and the idea that if you weren’t with America, you were against it. A Captain America storyline saw Cap wrestle with the very concept of Guantanamo Bay; like any story arc that involves Cap doubting whether America lives up to its ideals, this made certain conservatives pissy, to the point that bad movie cataloguer Michael Medved wrote an entire article asking if Cap was a traitor. Avengers Disassembled briefly saw the Avengers face down their demons, as the Scarlet Witch goes crazy (again) and starts killing team members, her reality manipulations causing fault lines to form among Marvel’s greatest superteam. But there hadn’t yet been a storyline that would tie the entire Marvel Universe together with the burning question, “Which side are you on?”
Yeah, it’s got nothing to do with the Sokovia Accords. We’d be a lot better off if it did.
Part 1: Mark Millar’s March to the C-Word
Content Warning: Sexual assault. None of this is germane to the topic of the drama, so feel free to skip ahead to Part 1.5 if you don’t want to deal with this. Tl;dr: Mark Millar, the writer of the event, has a near pathological need to be a 3edgy5u contrarian.
Every comics crossover is ultimately a chance for one creative in the stable to shine or falter. The editors pick a writer who has turned out dependable work and give them a chance to try to alter the status quo but good. And for Civil War, Marvel’s EiC Joe Quesada decided the best person to lead the charge was Ultimates writer Mark Millar.
But who is Millar? Well, we could say “edgelord” and leave it at that, but we’re trying to dig deeper. Millar came up in comics alongside fellow Scot Grant Morrison, long before Morrison said the only time they want to bump into Millar on the streets of Glasgow is while going at 100 miles per hour. This antipathy is alleged to have stemmed from Millar copping several ideas from Morrison that went into Superman: Red Son. But after getting a start on Superman Adventures and as a cowriter on parts of Morrison’s JLA run, Millar soon branched out to WildStorm, where he took over The Authority from departing creatowritesex pest Warren Ellis.
The reason I bring up Red Son (for those non-geeks, an alternative universe comic premised on “What if Superman’s rocket had landed in Soviet Russia?”) is to frame a constant refrain about Mark Millar. He has good high-concept ideas… which often get trammeled up in an almost Pavlovian urge to shock, disturb, and/or titillate the reader. For instance, in The Authority, Ellis had introduced Apollo and Midnighter, two close companions who just happened to share the rough power sets and demeanors of Superman and Batman, with a few tweaks. Then he revealed they were boyfriends, which was a pretty bold move for a late Nineties comic book full of widescreen action and lovingly-rendered eviscerations.
In Millar’s first arc on the title, centered on a villainous Jack Kirby clone sending out a team of baddies who totally aren’t the Avengers, Apollo is subdued and is strongly implied to have been raped by someone who’s not Captain America. Apollo gets revenge by destroying EvilCap’s spinal column with his laser vision, then leaving him to the tender mercies of Midnighter, who is strongly implied to have sodomized him with a jackhammer.
In case you can’t tell, Millar loved him some rape. And it kept showing up in his creator-owned titles as well, all of which were basically written as Hollywood pitch docs. Wanted asks the question, “What if the supervillains won and secretly ruled the world from behind the scenes?” Well, an Eminem clone would take the opportunity to step into his dead villainous dad’s shoes and commit a lot of rape (yeah, there’s a reason the movie version replaced this with basically the Euthanatos from Mage: the Ascension getting orders from a magic loom). Chosen asks the question, “What if Jesus were born today?” Well, in a blatantly obvious twist, it turns out he’s actually the Antichrist, and part of his journey into realizing his evil nature involves being raped by all the demons of Hell.
It’s not that Millar can’t write innocent or restrained; he got started on the Superman: the Animated Series comic spin-off, and some of his titles such as Huck and Starlight have been praised for being relatively wholesome (keep in mind Huck is basically “What if Superman was Forrest Gump?” when I say “relatively”). And, as mentioned above, his works are made for high-concept log lines. You might recognize some of his various pitch docs: Kick-Ass, The Secret Service (source for the Kingsman movies), and, as mentioned above, Wanted. It’s just there’s this unctuous contrarian streak to a lot of his titles, a tendency to focus on venality, grotesquerie, and sodomy, with an air of pop culture edge. This also leaked into his image outside of his writing, with comments like “Games are for pedos” and ventures like the creator-owned comics periodical CLiNT (yes, the kerning is intentional). This streak continues to this day, as The Magic Order, a title that emerged from his deal with Netflix, features a magical escapologist who, she feels it very important to tell the reader in a direct monologue, escaped her own abortion. Bottom line, Millar has a sense of vision, but it’s betrayed at times by this reflexive desire to prove he’s smarter than the reader, to rub your face in the contradictions and make you a party to the artifice of it all. Usually with a dash of rape.
But at Marvel, Millar was riding the lightning of the Ultimate Universe. His Ultimates title was drawing on the wide-screen action image of JLA and The Authority, creating the cinematic language that would come to define the MCU. The choice to fantasy cast Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury is why we have Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. He also painted the Hulk as a cannibalistic monster, cemented Hank Pym’s reputation as a wifebeater, and gave us Captain America yelling “Surrender? Do you think this A on my head stands for France?”, so let’s just keep that in perspective.
But the Ultimate Universe was its own pocket universe. Millar was being tapped to write a story for Earth-616, the main Marvel Universe. And he had a vision:

“I opted instead for making the superhero dilemma something a little different. People thought they were dangerous, but they did not want a ban. What they wanted was superheroes paid by the federal government like cops and open to the same kind of scrutiny. It was the perfect solution and nobody, as far as I'm aware, has done this before.”

Yeah. About that.
Part 1.5: What Has Come Before
Ultimately, the crux of Civil War is something that has been explored lightly in the past at Marvel: The idea that, instead of being unlicensed vigilantes who decide the best solution of societal issues is to beat up assholes in spandex, superheroes become licensed government officers that register their true identities with Uncle Sam and solve societal issues by beating up assholes in spandex. In Marvel’s history, it hasn’t gone well. The reality of government liaisons to superhero bodies has ranged from Valerie Cooper, who worked with government mutant team X-Factor but still found herself backing the genocidal Sentinel program as a big “Yeah, but what if…?”, to Henry Peter Gyrich, an inflamed obstructionist asshole who had to be held back from flipping a switch that would depower every superhuman individual on Earth. The idea of heroes themselves bristling against a government they disagreed with had a long history, as there was a period where Steve Rogers quit being Captain America, and the government had to find a replacement while he rode around on a motorcycle in a surprisingly slutty costume. But the idea of registering with the government has usually ended up on the “No” side due to one big cohort at Marvel: Mutants.
Ever since the days of Chris Claremont, a general conceit of the Marvel Universe is that mutants are a stand-in for your minority group of choice. Hated and feared, born different and feeling alienated, painted as an existential menace and threat to the status quo. Of course, it’s long been pointed out that the metaphor breaks down on the general grounds that, say, gays can’t shoot laser beams out of their eyes. I have my thoughts on that which I might share in the comments if someone pokes me hard enough, but it’s been general editorial consensus that people with powers, especially those of persecuted minorities, being compelled to share their true names, addresses, and natures with the federal government is a “That train’s never late!” move. Not only that, it’s a slippery slope. The classic X-Men story “Days of Future Past” is entirely premised on the idea that a government program of genocidal robots built to wipe out mutants will eventually run out of mutants… and then start turning on humans who could give birth to mutants, and then it’s Skynet all over again.
Another running meme in the Marvel Universe is that the X-Men usually exist in a Schrodinger’s cat situation with the rest of the superhero universe, both coexisting and in their own worlds. Yes, mutants have served on the Avengers, and yes, Thor intervened when the Morlocks were nearly wiped out in the sewers under New York. But Captain America, for all his proud statements of living up to America’s ideals, has a habit of missing the plot whenever the US government (or Canada, seat of all the Marvel Universe’s governmental evils - no, really) decides it’s Genocide O’Clock. And when the mutant nation of Genosha was completely wiped out by said murder robots, the Avengers seemed to be all “New phone who dis?” But when the two do intersect, there’s usually support for the mutants. One story in Fantastic Four had Reed Richards - Mr. Fantastic, stretchy man, greatest genius in the Marvel Universe, guy who’s probably being cucked by a fish-man - get tapped by the US government to make a device that detects mutants and other people with powers. He does… and then uses it to show why the government probably doesn’t want it, as it pings several members of Congress as having just enough genetic variation to qualify as “mutants,” even if they don’t have powers.
All in all, while the argument has some merit, for years, Marvel has come down on the position that asking people with powers to reveal their identities to the federal government is something that could go really bad if somebody with a hate-on for superheroes ends up in power. Something that would never happen oh yeah it totally did. But before it all went to Hell, Civil War at least gave an opportunity to reexamine the concept and see if it had merit.
It might have. But not with this argument.
Part 1.75: What Else Has Happened Before?
And now, some things that will ultimately give context for what happens next:

• In the pages of Thor, all of Asgard eventually runs headlong into Ragnarok. Thor and the rest of the Asgardians give their lives to save the earth, taking Thor off the board… for now.
• As mentioned above, the Avengers experience a critical fault due to Wanda going batshit (a common lament). With Avengers Mansion destroyed and the team at odds, it is eventually reunited under Tony Stark, who put the Avengers up in a tower he built.
• Nick Fury has vanished due to doing some skullduggery in the pages of the miniseries Secret War (no, not Secret Wars, this is different). Acting head of SHIELD, the all-purpose super spy squad of Marvel, is Maria Hill, who can’t seem to draw her pistol without shooting herself in the foot.
• Due to Wanda continuing to go batshit, the House of M crossover event ends with her casting a spell: “No more mutants.” While the damage is staunched, Earth-616’s population of mutants (which was recently established to be somewhere around 16 million) is reduced to 200, the rest being depowered or dying as a result of being depowered. This was because, as Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada said, the idea of mutants being everywhere made them “boring.” The fact that mutants were starting to be written less as a minority stand-in and more as an actual minority group with fashion, culture, music, and neighborhoods might have had something to do with that. From the wake of this event emerges Sally Floyd, a journalist whose own mutant daughter died before the mass depowering due to having a power that was more curse than blessing. The series Generation M follows her as the viewpoint character as she investigates the stories of former mutants.

Part 2: Connecticut Can’t Catch a Break
The big kick-off for Civil War involves the New Warriors, a team of teen heroes who have, as of a recently canceled series, been trying to make it big as reality TV stars. They get in a fight with a bunch of villains in the small town of Stamford, CT, when exploding villain Nitro goes positively nuclear, resulting in a blast much bigger than any he’s generated. [1] Not only does this mostly wipe out the New Warriors (save for kinetic energy-absorbing goofball Speedball), but it also happens to hit a nearby school. In the end, 612 people are dead, many of them children, and the nation wants answers.
With public opinion turning against the New Warriors, former member Hindsight starts leaking secret identities to get the heat off his back. This only makes things worse. Secret identities have only recently stopped being a thing for some heroes: Captain America only came out a few years ago, it was only recently that Tony Stark stopped pretending Iron Man was his bodyguard, and Daredevil was almost outed in the pages of his book. But something needs to be done, so Tony helps work with Congress to pass the Super Human Registration Act, which requires that all people with powers or working as vigilantes register their identities with the government to receive training and oversight. If you don’t? Believe it or not, jail, right away.
Fault lines quickly develop in the superhero community. While Tony is leading the “pro” side, alongside Reed Richards (yeah, we’ll get to that), Captain America, usually painted as the embodiment of the dream of America despite its compromised history and many sins, is against it. He’s lived through Richard Nixon being a secret fascist and shooting himself in the head after being fingered as mastermind of a vast criminal conspiracy (yes, that happened ); he knows how badly this could go in the wrong hands. Needless to say, Maria Hill and SHIELD hear his concerns, understand his problems with it, and are willing to iron out the kinks through reasoned debate.
Just kidding. Before the law has even been signed, Maria sics SHIELD’s elite Cape-Killers squad on Cap with the intent of getting him behind bars. Cap swiftly goes underground and starts his own group of anti-registration superheroes.
The fight continues for the next few issues. Spider-Man, caught in the middle, reveals himself to be Peter Parker at a press conference, declaring his support for the SHRA. Doctor Strange is so powerful that he tells the government to fuck off, and somehow, Maria Hill doesn’t decide to go charging up his asshole. Ben Grimm, the ever-loving blue-eyed Thing, is so sick of all the conflict he goes to France. But things are still at a stalemate, and while SHIELD may be acting like a bunch of merry assholes, it seems like there’s a debate to be had that could still be resolved reasonably… except for one key factor.
Part 3: I Fought the Law, and the Law… Huh?
No one ever really defined what the Super Human Registration Act, the legislation that tore the Marvel Universe’s superhero community asunder, did. Every book that had an issue that touched on the event seemed to have a different understanding of its principles, as well as just how fascist it might be in the long run. In the pages of She-Hulk, attorney Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk argues the law is a net good, as it gives heroes the backing and resources they need to not have to go it alone, while also having some measure of government oversight. In the pages of Civil War Frontline (oh, and we’ll get back to Civil War Frontline, don’t you worry), Wonder Man is told by the government that he needs to do a job for them, and if he refuses, well, one thousand years dungeon.
Which then leads into the other issue behind the SHRA. Namely, that everyone in favor was either starting to swing towards fascism or embracing bootlicking as a lifestyle, not a kink. In the pages of Amazing Spider-Man, Peter asks Reed Richards, who has always bucked authority and once stopped the US government from doing something just like this with mutants, why he’s pro-registration. Reed then reveals that an uncle who has never been mentioned before was called before HUAC; he refused to name names, his career was ruined, and he killed himself. From this, Reed - the man who stole a rocketship because the government said “no” to his planned space voyage - has learned that the government is always right, especially when they could step on your neck (this was received so badly that a later comic revealed he’d actually borrowed the concept of psychohistory from Asimov’s Foundation, he’d made it work somehow, and his calculations showed that this was the only way to avoid a greater disaster). This comic also revealed that people who were in violation of the SHRA were sent to a literal extradimensional Gitmo, a prison in the Negative Zone that later comics would reveal was overseen by… Captain Marvel. No, not that one. No, not that one. The Kree superhero Captain Mar-Vell, who had famously died of cancer decades before. How did he come back from the dead? Fuck if we know.
This “the law says what you want it to say” approach spread across various books and miniseries meant to cross over into the event. In the pages of a crossover mini between the Runaways and the Young Avengers, this meant SHIELD Cape-Killer squads were using lethal force against teenagers. The second-to-last issue of the mini ends with several members of both teams in extradimensional Gitmo, about to be dissected by a guy who’s horny for torture. The fact that all the captive heroes were the queer members of both teams? Total coincidence. Honestly.
So, it quickly becomes clear that the editorial control on this event is less than cohesive. There are different ideas all over as to what the SHRA does, and some of those ideas are tacking pretty fashy. But if the law is being painted as that bad, then clearly, there must be some greater statement of freedom vs. security. Maybe Millar’s really painting a subversive picture of what happens when you trade liberty for control, right?
Part 4: Why Do You Hate the Good Thing?
After the publication of Civil War #3, Millar would say in an interview he was actually pro-registration. I can’t find that interview, but here’s a similar sentiment shared years later:

“Weirdly, some of the other writers would often make Tony the bad guy, which I thought was a strange choice because I was actually on Tony’s side... In the real world, if somebody had superpowers, I’d like them to be registered in the same way that somebody who has a gun has to carry a license. But a gun can kill several people while a superhero can kill several thousands of people, so on a pragmatic level I’m 100% on Tony’s side. Maybe on a romantic level, Cap’s position makes sense but I don’t think anybody in the real world would really want that."”

And again, here’s the thing: He’s not entirely wrong. As said above, the idea of civil liberties for all and “free to me you and me” falls down a little when one of your neighbors can blow up a city block by thinking real hard. But Millar is fighting against years of ideological inertia in the Marvel Universe, as well as painting Captain America, the guy who has always embodied the ideal of a righteous, just America, as in the wrong. He needs to make one hell of an argument.
So here’s what happens in the pages of Civil War #3 to sell the audience on the SHRA:

• Thor comes back from the dead… and he’s on Tony’s side! Well, not really. Tony and Reed both realized that having one of the most beloved gods of the Marvel Universe come out on their side would be a big win… if only he wasn’t dead. So, they cloned him. Or rather, they T-800’d him, putting cloned divine flesh on a robot skeleton. But I’m sure he’s perfectly under control, and - oh, he just killed Goliath. In the next issue, one of Marvel’s black male heroes, frozen at the size of a small townhouse in death, will be buried in a gigantic ditch, wrapped in a tarp and chains. You’d think Hank Pym could grow a large enough coffin, at least.
• With Cap and the anti-registration side escaping once again, Tony decides he needs a dedicated team that can track down fugitive superhumans. To do so, he creates a new version of the Thunderbolts, a concept long associated with “villains acting like heroes.” And who does he put on this team? Venom, the Spider-Man villain who eats people’s brains; Bullseye, the Daredevil villain who will kill anyone for the lulz; and Norman Osborn, a.k.a. The Green Goblin, who famously murdered Spider-Man’s girlfriend Gwen Stacy.

Again. Tony’s in the right. The SHRA is good.
Part 5: Yadda, Yadda, Yadda
The next few issues of Civil War might best be described as “They fight, and fight, and fight and fight and fight.” The anti-registration side picks up The Punisher, Marvel’s most avowed murderer of criminals - and Cap is somewhat shocked but not entirely surprised when two minor villains join the anti-registration side and Frank promptly kills them on sight. Spider-Man starts realizing things are weird on the pro-reg side and defects, after he has set his entire life on fire. The X-Men have continued to stay out of this whole mess. In the lead-up, Emma Frost called Tony out on the Avengers’ complete absence when Genosha got nuked. Later, Carol Danvers (then Ms. Marvel, now Captain Marvel) will show up at the Xavier School to pitch the SHRA just after a massive terrorist attack kills dozens of students. Emma responds by telepathically dogwalking her.
By the final issue of the miniseries, the SHRA has expanded out into the Fifty States Initiative, wherein each state gets its own superteam. There’s a big final battle, Hercules kills Robo-Thor, and Cap nearly takes out Tony, only to be stopped by… the heroes of 9/11. No shit, Captain America is subdued by cops, firefighters, and paramedics. And when that happens, Cap finally takes a look around, realizes their big ideological street brawl has resulted in collateral damage, and surrenders. The SHRA wins, though Tony feels a little bad about it. Cap is ready to stand trial and to argue that, while he may have done something wrong, he did it for the right reasons.
Once again: Yeah. About that.
Part 6: MySpace Tom Didn’t Die For This
Running alongside Civil War is Civil War Frontline, a street-level book written by Paul Jenkins that managed to capture this world-breaking conflict through the eyes of people on the street. Though it has side stories, its main leads are Ben Urich, Peter Parker’s journalist buddy at The Daily Bugle, and the aforementioned Sally Floyd. Throughout the series, they start to realize there’s a story underneath the SHRA, as if somebody is playing the angles.
Before we talk about that conclusion, let’s talk about a side story. Remember how we said part of the comics community saw Identity Crisis as a driven effort to make things less “wacky” and intentionally darken the DCU? Well, that same tonal approach led to one of the more laughable moments of a pretty laughable arc. See, despite the fact that, as established, it was Nitro who blew up Stamford, it’s Speedball, the only survivor of the New Warriors, that views himself as responsible and is held up as a scapegoat by the general public. In addition, the blast screwed up his powers. Now, he doesn’t absorb and reflect kinetic energy; rather, he generates energy based on pain. So, he builds himself a new, extreme outfit lined with 612 spikes, one for each person who died in Stamford. This will drive his crusade to make things right - not as Speedball… but as Penance.
It was so laughably DeviantArt “OC do not steal” that no one could take it seriously. Look what you did, you took a perfectly good goofball and gave him an emo streak. The turn is swiftly mocked in other Marvel books, and it’s eventually revealed that Speedball still had his original powerset and always intended to put Nitro in the Goofy Suit of Dark Inner Torment as punishment for his crimes. But this turn gives you a sense of the tone and heft Jenkins was bringing to the proceedings.
Anyway, back to the main plot. Ben and Sally follow the thread as Namor, as he is wont to do, declares war on the surface world after an Atlantean diplomat is shot. But it turns out the assassination was arranged by Norman Osborn, who decided it was better to beg forgiveness than ask permission and manipulated Atlantis into war so that Tony could have another piece of evidence for getting superhumans on a leash. And the two journalists deduce that, on some level, Tony had to know this would be an inevitable outcome of giving state backing to an unhinged mogul who dresses like a Power Rangers villain. Weighing what to do with this information, Ben and Sally, who are kind of sick of the collateral damage by this point, sit on it while they go in for an interview with Captain America, now in custody and willing to tell his side of the story.
And then. And then. The monologue. If you want a lesson in how to assassinate a character in 30 seconds or less, this monologue is a great example. Sally Floyd calls Captain America out as completely divorced from American values. Now, again, Captain America has long served as the beating liberal heart of the Marvel Universe. He has always represented an America that reckons with its legacy of things like internment camps, Manifest Destiny, and Jim Crow, in order to transcend these scars and embody the promise offered by Emma Lazarus’s New Colossus, carved on the side of the Statue of Liberty. Why is he out of touch with Americans at the dawn of the 21st century?
Well, he’s never heard of MySpace. [2] He doesn’t watch NASCAR. He doesn’t follow American Idol. There are pop culture moments that have aged like milk; this one had all the permanence of an ice cream cone in a blast furnace. But despite the inanity of Floyd’s argument - and trust me, there are fan edits dedicated to Cap pointing out how full of shit this argument is - it’s clear it represents something else. This is a post-9/11 world. Fuck civil liberties, we have a no-fly list and Gitmo, and if the American people really cared, they’d do something other than watch Simon Cowell read aspiring singers to filth. What does Captain America stand for in this moment of crisis?
Nothing. Because he just looks away from Sally Floyd. No doubt thinking, “Oh my God this bitch.” But to underline the argument in question, Sally storms out of the interview, Ben in tow. She still has that information on Norman Osborn’s false flag operation… and while she and Ben confront Tony on everything that went down, they decide the story should never see the light of day. Because they wouldn’t dare jeopardize the SHRA, because security is more important than the truth.
Oh. And then Cap gets shot. And dies. He totally dies (except he doesn’t but we’ll get to that). If ever there was an unintentional thesis statement for this event, running in the late stages of the Bush era, it would be this: “It’s better to trust that the powers that be who oversee the new America will keep you safe, even when they stage false flag operations, stick you in a gulag, and put their trust in monsters. All that civil liberty stuff was the old America. And the old America was hopeless. It wasn’t even on MySpace.”
Epilogue: Consequences Keep Consequencing
As you can tell from that last paragraph, a lot of the fan reception to Civil War likely had a lot to do with the period. This was the Bush era, a time where you were for America or against it. We were in the shadow of the Patriot Act, Gitmo, and widespread wiretaps, paranoid about what civil liberty we’d be asked to put on the pyre next in the name of Freedom. A story all about the warm, clenching fist of government control that tells you to ignore the collateral damage… well, it wasn’t great for the cultural moment.
The ideas of Civil War aren’t necessarily bad ones. I frame Cap as the liberal dream of what America could be, but there are good arguments to be made that America has never been that and Cap is just copium for liberals. His most recent title, Sentinel of Liberty, opens with Steve saying he is out of touch with the average American - not because he doesn’t watch NASCAR, but because he’s a WWII veteran who looks maybe 30 years old at most and whose best friends are all superheroes or spies. A narrative that has him on the wrong side of the issue and detonates his beliefs isn’t impossible, but it probably shouldn’t be one where people who got powers due to a fluke of birth or a radiation accident are told by the government, “Join with us or we’ll send supervillains after you.” Hell, as the Civil War movie proves, there is a way to tell a story about a superhero community torn in half by the idea of mandatory registration as government-controlled actors, and just why people would think that could be a bad idea (“Hey, remember when a good chunk of our intelligence apparatus turned out to be Nazi stay behinds?”).
But in the context of the era, and coupled with the execution, Civil War felt like a hard sell, and you could feel the thumb pressing on the scale every second while reading it. The moral center of the Marvel Universe is wrong, the winning side employs sadistic murderers and has an extradimensional Gitmo, and the writer is telling you that any sane individual would be on Team Green Goblin Employer.
So how did that all work out? Well…

• With Cap seemingly dead, shot by his brainwashed love interest Sharon Carter as part of a plot by the Red Skull, Bucky Barnes/the Winter Soldier becomes the new Cap. Only it turns out Steve wasn’t killed, but shot with a time bullet that Billy Pilgrims his ass. He eventually comes back.
• Thor comes back, finds out what Tony did, and beats his ass all the way across post-Katrina New Orleans (thank you to Powman_7 for the link).
• The Secret Invasion event happens next, which leads to Skrull infiltrators hitting everything (this is also the explanation for Captain Mar-Vell’s miraculous resurrection: He was a Skrull all along). With Tony caught with his pants down and Norman Osborn seeming to save the day, Norman - who has been losing his shit for some time - takes over the Initiative and forms his own fascist cabal, HAMMER. To try and stop Norman from learning everything on every hero ever, Tony goes on the run and actually starts deleting his own brain, which he then reassembles with a backup from before anyone even thought of the SHRA. The fact that getting rid of Tony’s “Oops I did a fascism” period came out alongside Iron Man hitting theaters is a coincidence, I’m sure.

As for Spider-Man? It might not shock you, but having a hero without the resources of Tony Stark out himself to the world carries liabilities. An assassin who tries to kill Peter instead hits Aunt May, and it appears she’ll die of her injuries. All this leads to One More Day… and if you thought the fans hated Civil War? Oh, BABY.
[1] This is eventually explored in the pages of Wolverine, of all books, as Wolverine decides maybe somebody should track down the person who actually killed hundreds of children. It’s revealed that Nitro was given power-boosting drugs by the CEO of Damage Control, Marvel’s designated “clean up after the super-battle” corporation, as a way of generating business. In a sign of how little this matters, Wolverine tells Maria Hill to her face that the person responsible for a mass casualty event is the pawn of a powerful conspiracy, and she basically says, “Not my problem.” Cobie Smulders must thank the gods that her Maria Hill is written as somebody with basic human decency.
[2] Hilariously, when Sally Floyd was brought back during Nick Spencer’s Captain America run because no one had piled enough dung on her corpse, this line was retconned to her asking him about Twitter. Given everything Elon’s been doing lately, we’ll see if that ages just as poorly.

The early part of the day was very quiet. Two people rushing in with panicked expressions raced in and snagged travel sewing kits meant for quick repairs. The relief on their faces… well, it felt pretty good to be able to provide what they needed on the spot. I smiled, pointed to the card reader, and wished them luck.
I got some funny looks, as well I should, given that they lived in this complex. The pair, one young man, one young woman, each wearing old suits that didn’t quite fit with the times or fit with their bodies, had clearly borrowed the clothes for job interviews and saw disaster in the form of a sudden and unexpectedly discovered tears in the old cloth.
If the Toriyama store hadn’t been there? Well, I doubt their day would have gone as smoothly. ‘No wonder she likes running it.’ I thought with a little smile on my face while I watched the wall clock continue to move forward one minute at a time.
I stopped clockwatching to go wipe down the counter by the bento. There was a sink and a soft cloth there waiting for use, and given the circumstances I figured… ‘Why not? What else is there to do?’ There were no customers for a fair bit, which wasn’t that surprising given the hour.
Kids were at school, most functional adults were at work, and nonfunctional ones tended not to have much in the way of money. The warm water felt good on my hands and before long the clean counter was cleaner than before.
From there I thought… ”Now what?” And I put my hands on my hips to look around the store. I looked toward the doors. ‘Still nobody.’ I thought, and went to check the inventory of things that were currently on the shelves. Dried seaweed was low… so I went to the back room behind the register to check the stock of goods… and frowned.
‘Alright… that’s not good. No, that’s bad, that’s very, very bad.’ The thought ran through my head as I looked within what was clearly the storage area for restocking… which was instead a sad sort of place, clean, like the rest of the store.
But that is what made it sad. See, I’d never held a real job on Earth, but I did know enough from movies, t.v. and manga that if you wanted to show that a place was dying, whether it be a restaurant or a store or whatever, the best way to do that was to show that it was damn near empty. ‘I’m out of… we ran out of… sorry, we don’t have…’ Whenever you heard that phrase in entertainment media, it was meant to show that a place was not doing well for itself.
There should have been multiple big boxes on pallets stacked way up, with just… all the snacks, not to mention all the cleaning supplies and prepackaged food and…
I had a sinking feeling. This was just the dry goods, the stuff that was plastic wrapped and packaged and so on.
There was a side door in this area, heavy and metal, it opened into the freezer. I cracked that door open and went inside, the icy chill hit my skin all at once and I wrapped my arms around my body and gave an audible shiver. “Brrr!” I said to myself as I ventured within.
This place should have had stacks of meat and drinks meant for the refrigerated section, all the basics that kept people going through that last hour or two.
But instead there were only a handful of boxes along the wall, none were higher than two deep up and two deep out, each aligned according to the product on the shelf.
But most of the produce shelf had just plain nothing.
My mind turned back to the two thugs who’d come into the store, and I spun on my heel, striding out of the deep freeze and venturing back to the register.
Still nobody was coming in, so I opened the register, checked for the paper envelope and cracked it open. There, I started counting.
Human money confuses me to no end. Every country has its own, and every country values every other country’s currency at a different rate from their own. Even the rate at which they valued their own currency didn’t actually match what was written on their damn stupid pieces of paper.
All I could do while I counted was grumble. “Damn stupid confusing inefficient barbaric primitive nonsensical absurd ridiculous daft temple to madness, forget why… how in all the hells of all the gods in all the Universe does anyone do anything this way?!”
I managed to get a count of the money within and tried to work out the relative cost compared to what I spent on things.
“So… let me work this out…” I mumbled and began drumming my fingers on the counter next to the register, “I pay that for a pizza… and this is like a few hundred pizzas so…”
My mouth dropped. “This is like a thousand pizzas?!” I shrieked with shock and horror… “No way?!” I couldn’t believe my own math, so I went to the far office. I’d seen through there sometimes when the door was open, and I knew Suki had a desk in there.
I tried the handle, it turned, it wasn’t locked. The wooden door swung inward when I pushed, and my eyes were greeted by a dizzying array of scattered papers, notebooks open with various numbers that were just… just dizzying to behold.
It was the exact opposite of the neat and orderly existence outside. I hesitated, fingers still curled around the doorhandle, my NEET brain screamed ‘Flee! This is an unholy land filled with math and confusion!’ But I did not flee.
I did not turn away.
I did. Not. Run.
I stepped within, leaving the door open at my back to both hear incoming customers and to ensure I could easily flee if the numbers assaulting my brain began to overwhelm me.
I did feel a little guilty, enough so that I couldn’t bring myself to actually sit in the cracked leather chair. The poor thing had clearly seen much better days, it was tilted slightly where one wheel was broken, once smooth brown back was tilted in such a way that suggested it was probably broken and couldn’t be leaned back in without it falling apart entirely.
There was one thing that perhaps saved my brain from a meltdown.
When you’re late paying a human organization, they really want you to know it. So a lot of the papers I saw were stamped ‘late notice’ or some variation thereof.
‘If she’s paying protection money to some yakuza baddies… no wonder she can’t pay her bills.’ My frown deepened as I began looking at one paper after another, just what was in that one single envelope was enough to pay most of the bottom numbers on the bills I picked up, and based on the dates, these were cumulative months.
“With that? She’d be just fine…” I mumbled and dropped the papers to fall like feathers in the breeze back down to the desk. I narrowed my eyes down at the desk.
Nobody needs to tell me that I can be sort of lazy. That’s the whole point of my vacations. But I really, really, like being a Painter. It’s not just that I’m good at it, I really see value in what I do. I hate dictators, they don’t just take lives, they take happiness. From where I’m sitting… standing, that is, these guys are just small scale dictators, leeches.
They were exactly the sort I do not like.
I heard the ding of the door as a customer walked in and hastened out to meet them. “Welcome to Toriyama’s.” I said with a smile as I stood in front of the register. I kicked the pants of the two petty tin pots out of my way, and started planning what I would do when my day was done.

Been visiting Devon Ave. and going where my nose leads me on Chicago visits for decades, but mostly saw Arabic, Pakistani, kebab and meat centered restaurants last post-COVID visit. While demographics may have changed in the neighborhood over the decades, there’s still got to be some good Hindu restaurants around there?
Also got meetha paan from a paan shop where they didn’t add betel unless specifically requested. I always love watching them get made and a fresh meetha paan after a meal is one of my favorite treats in Chicago, is betel free paan a thing now or did I just stop in an odd place?
Recommendations greatly appreciated. By the way, if anyone knows which of the Ethiopian grocery stores are the best stocked or of any really good Polish restaurants around downtown that would be appreciated as well.
Looking forward to visiting again.

In 1991, the idea of a Muslim-majority state within the USA that allied itself with the USA and protected North American Muslims from hate crimes, Riba, Haram things, and sectarian violence was born. It was based on the legend of Qarser, that there was once an ancient Live Oak tree somewhere on the Virginia Peninsula but the tips of the leaves had a V-shaped indentation, rather than protrusion like any other Live Oak tree, making it a tree which bore heart-shaped leaves. The Native Americans met with Muslims from West Africa to trade under this rare tree with the beautiful leaf mutations. When the White settlers came, the Native Americans and West-African Muslims fled or were pushed out West and their unwritten history and culture was destroyed and the tree was cut down. This legend has a few variations and is used as a justification for the Virginia Peninsula being the specific location of an independent Muslim micronation. Qarsherskiyan nationalists still tell this tale today. The movement for an independent Muslim country had few supporters and many critics and locals chased off any Muslims who tried to buy land in the area. Ultimately the plan failed but was written down and recording in several notebooks and diaries which were hidden in the walls of a few houses in Virginia and Ohio belonging to members of the former movement. As time when on, the houses needed renovations and the notebooks discussing the plan and its reasoning and failures and successes were found. In 2005, a boy named Brennan White was born in London, Ohio and began growing into a very interesting kid, with unusually fast rate of maturity, able to speak full sentences before being one year old and walking by one years of age as well, according to his grandmother who raised him until we was about 3 years old. Brennan studied horticulture lessons for children at only age 3 and could explain how to create hybrids of trees and name and identify various plants and animals at age 4. By 2019, American teenagers and pre-teens from Muslim-American backgrounds found these notebooks after homeowners in the area did as the notebooks instructed and handed it to someone from the local Islamic community upon being found. It was the Powerplant Group, a powerful conglomeration of groups of kids and teenagers from Ohio, West Virginia, and Ohio named for their love of Urbex adventures and previous explorations of abandoned powerplants and cooling towers. In the same year, 2019, one female member named Powerplant 'Aisha based in Vermilion and Lorain in the state of Ohio got hold of all the notebooks and took particular interest, announcing the re-formation of the Muslim state in the USA and never officially naming it but calling it several names including Qarsherskiy. Nearby, on East 21st Street, Lorain, Ohio, USA, Brennan White had slowly matured over the years researching geography, religion, language, horticulture and botany, entomology, and science to INCREDIBLY OBSESSIVE levels for over a decade. He was particularly fascinated by Wicca and Black Magick but by fall of 2020 his shift had focused to Indian and South Asian societies a bit more, as well as Chinese and Hispanic traditions. In 2020, Powerplant 'Aisha and the Powerplant Group consolidated power over the Islamic Sultanate of Qarsherskiy although it still wasn't officially named that and hadn't declared independence. They began working with Brennan to make up a non-existent Island-Nation online called Aleialei Atoll in order to trick people online into believing a small, rich Pacific island nation existed and needed their help. It wasn't a scam but a ploy targeting the enemies of Qarsherskiy solely to lead them down an internet rabbit-hole and waste their time, distracting the enemies of Qarsherskiy from spreading slander online. Thousands of footage and images of beautiful beaches around the world were uploaded by over 30 members of the powerplant group all across social media and labelled as ''Aleialei Atoll" while lore, culture, and history of Aleialei Atoll was made up and posted online. Anyone who slandered Qarsherskiy or the powerplant group online would be directed to research Aleialei Atoll with some vague statement about the place and suddenly hours of researching the mysterious and unknown "country" would ensue. By sping of 2021, Aleialei Atoll had been exposed and the powerplant group hired hackers to take down 99.7% of all content related to the project from the internet. A new fictional nation called Bahariterra was made up in Spring of 2021 and an average of 250 YouTube videos a week went up. Any time any of the 30+ members of the Powerplant Group saw food, palm trees, beaches, or something interesting from a foreign culture, it was uploaded online as something from "Bahariterra" and before long thousands of hours of content a week went up and long paragraphs of information on various websites misled Qarsherskiy's online slanderers down a new rabbit-hole. By the end of 2021, Brennan's family began preparations to move to Newport News, Virginia, officially leaving Lorain, Ohio on 1st January 2022, and arriving late at night to a hotel in (downtown?) Newport News. the next morning, 2nd January 2022, Brennan and his family had settled in a new home and were finishing putting luggage away. After a year of Brennan exploring the area with his local friends, obsessing over the last few hundred years of history in the area, and meeting people who would convert to Islam or were already Muslims, Brennan learned in late December of 2022 of local neo-Nazi groups called Bombenfein who spoke a Germanic conlang and believed in an esoteric radical re-interpretation of Christianity that favoured Whites and sought to kill racial and religious minorities, Brennan knew it was a matter of time before the Islamic Sultanate of Qarsherskiy would declare independence, especially when police continuously failed to protect the freedom and safety of many local American Muslims and other minorities. Despite not having access to the internet at the time due to being in trouble with his family, Brennan secretly began getting his friend to represent him online and spread a message of his bravery and good leadership and plans for Qarsherskiy. Qarsherskiy would be a sultanate but if the sultan leaves no successor or if people dislike him and overthrow him, Qarsherskiyan law states the new sultan and their royal family gets elected into power by the people's choice and votes. Brennan began pushing his campaign and became the sultan of Qarsherskiy. On 28 March 2023, Qarsherskiy elected the first Emir and Sultan and declared its independence. Brennan became the sultan, Ali Aq-Qarsherskiyy At-Tariq AL-Akbar, and instantly opposed neo-Nazi threats to Qarsherskiy, helping his micronation of 1,947 people called Qarsherskiy in a two month struggle against Neo-Nazism known as the PondWater Neo-Nazi Wars, which ended in the Battle of BasaraQ exactly 2 months later on 28 May 2023 with Sultan Ali's victorious army praising his leadership. Qarsherskiy and its nearly 2,000 citizens then nearly had a Sunni-Shi'a Civil War which was put down peacefully by the sultan Ali. From 31 March 2023 to 3 June 2023, several attempts by the mere 17 Alawites in Qarsherskiy to overthrow and take over the government of Qarsherskiy failed. Qarsherskiy than began a healing process after its first two months were lived in chaos.

In 1991, the idea of a Muslim-majority state within the USA that allied itself with the USA and protected North American Muslims from hate crimes, Riba, Haram things, and sectarian violence was born. It was based on the legend of Qarser, that there was once an ancient Live Oak tree somewhere on the Virginia Peninsula but the tips of the leaves had a V-shaped indentation, rather than protrusion like any other Live Oak tree, making it a tree which bore heart-shaped leaves. The Native Americans met with Muslims from West Africa to trade under this rare tree with the beautiful leaf mutations. When the White settlers came, the Native Americans and West-African Muslims fled or were pushed out West and their unwritten history and culture was destroyed and the tree was cut down. This legend has a few variations and is used as a justification for the Virginia Peninsula being the specific location of an independent Muslim micronation. Qarsherskiyan nationalists still tell this tale today. The movement for an independent Muslim country had few supporters and many critics and locals chased off any Muslims who tried to buy land in the area. Ultimately the plan failed but was written down and recording in several notebooks and diaries which were hidden in the walls of a few houses in Virginia and Ohio belonging to members of the former movement. As time when on, the houses needed renovations and the notebooks discussing the plan and its reasoning and failures and successes were found. In 2005, a boy named Brennan White was born in London, Ohio and began growing into a very interesting kid, with unusually fast rate of maturity, able to speak full sentences before being one year old and walking by one years of age as well, according to his grandmother who raised him until we was about 3 years old. Brennan studied horticulture lessons for children at only age 3 and could explain how to create hybrids of trees and name and identify various plants and animals at age 4. By 2019, American teenagers and pre-teens from Muslim-American backgrounds found these notebooks after homeowners in the area did as the notebooks instructed and handed it to someone from the local Islamic community upon being found. It was the Powerplant Group, a powerful conglomeration of groups of kids and teenagers from Ohio, West Virginia, and Ohio named for their love of Urbex adventures and previous explorations of abandoned powerplants and cooling towers. In the same year, 2019, one female member named Powerplant 'Aisha based in Vermilion and Lorain in the state of Ohio got hold of all the notebooks and took particular interest, announcing the re-formation of the Muslim state in the USA and never officially naming it but calling it several names including Qarsherskiy. Nearby, on East 21st Street, Lorain, Ohio, USA, Brennan White had slowly matured over the years researching geography, religion, language, horticulture and botany, entomology, and science to INCREDIBLY OBSESSIVE levels for over a decade. He was particularly fascinated by Wicca and Black Magick but by fall of 2020 his shift had focused to Indian and South Asian societies a bit more, as well as Chinese and Hispanic traditions. In 2020, Powerplant 'Aisha and the Powerplant Group consolidated power over the Islamic Sultanate of Qarsherskiy although it still wasn't officially named that and hadn't declared independence. They began working with Brennan to make up a non-existent Island-Nation online called Aleialei Atoll in order to trick people online into believing a small, rich Pacific island nation existed and needed their help. It wasn't a scam but a ploy targeting the enemies of Qarsherskiy solely to lead them down an internet rabbit-hole and waste their time, distracting the enemies of Qarsherskiy from spreading slander online. Thousands of footage and images of beautiful beaches around the world were uploaded by over 30 members of the powerplant group all across social media and labelled as ''Aleialei Atoll" while lore, culture, and history of Aleialei Atoll was made up and posted online. Anyone who slandered Qarsherskiy or the powerplant group online would be directed to research Aleialei Atoll with some vague statement about the place and suddenly hours of researching the mysterious and unknown "country" would ensue. By sping of 2021, Aleialei Atoll had been exposed and the powerplant group hired hackers to take down 99.7% of all content related to the project from the internet. A new fictional nation called Bahariterra was made up in Spring of 2021 and an average of 250 YouTube videos a week went up. Any time any of the 30+ members of the Powerplant Group saw food, palm trees, beaches, or something interesting from a foreign culture, it was uploaded online as something from "Bahariterra" and before long thousands of hours of content a week went up and long paragraphs of information on various websites misled Qarsherskiy's online slanderers down a new rabbit-hole. By the end of 2021, Brennan's family began preparations to move to Newport News, Virginia, officially leaving Lorain, Ohio on 1st January 2022, and arriving late at night to a hotel in (downtown?) Newport News. the next morning, 2nd January 2022, Brennan and his family had settled in a new home and were finishing putting luggage away. After a year of Brennan exploring the area with his local friends, obsessing over the last few hundred years of history in the area, and meeting people who would convert to Islam or were already Muslims, Brennan learned in late December of 2022 of local neo-Nazi groups called Bombenfein who spoke a Germanic conlang and believed in an esoteric radical re-interpretation of Christianity that favoured Whites and sought to kill racial and religious minorities, Brennan knew it was a matter of time before the Islamic Sultanate of Qarsherskiy would declare independence, especially when police continuously failed to protect the freedom and safety of many local American Muslims and other minorities. Despite not having access to the internet at the time due to being in trouble with his family, Brennan secretly began getting his friend to represent him online and spread a message of his bravery and good leadership and plans for Qarsherskiy. Qarsherskiy would be a sultanate but if the sultan leaves no successor or if people dislike him and overthrow him, Qarsherskiyan law states the new sultan and their royal family gets elected into power by the people's choice and votes. Brennan began pushing his campaign and became the sultan of Qarsherskiy. On 28 March 2023, Qarsherskiy elected the first Emir and Sultan and declared its independence. Brennan became the sultan, Ali Aq-Qarsherskiyy At-Tariq AL-Akbar, and instantly opposed neo-Nazi threats to Qarsherskiy, helping his micronation of 1,947 people called Qarsherskiy in a two month struggle against Neo-Nazism known as the PondWater Neo-Nazi Wars, which ended in the Battle of BasaraQ exactly 2 months later on 28 May 2023 with Sultan Ali's victorious army praising his leadership. Qarsherskiy and its nearly 2,000 citizens then nearly had a Sunni-Shi'a Civil War which was put down peacefully by the sultan Ali. From 31 March 2023 to 3 June 2023, several attempts by the mere 17 Alawites in Qarsherskiy to overthrow and take over the government of Qarsherskiy failed. Qarsherskiy than began a healing process after its first two months were lived in chaos.

Hello there!
I'm on the lookout for something serious, hoping to find a special someone near York, where I reside. Allow me to introduce myself as a quirky, nerdy, creative, and positive individual. During my downtime, I immerse myself in the joys of reading, indulging in video games (especially on my beloved Nintendo Switch—I'm a huge fan of franchises like Zelda, Animal Crossing, Pokemon, and Mario), expressing myself through drawings, and diving into captivating Netflix series. As a bit of an introvert, I lead a quiet life without any friends, rarely venturing outside. However, when I do step out, I find solace in serene walks along the river and browsing the shelves of my favorite bookstore. It would be wonderful to meet someone with whom I can experience real-life adventures, like cozy café visits or delightful dinners at restaurants.
Ideally, I'm hoping to connect with someone local to York, but I'm also open to getting to know individuals from farther away if the connection is there. In my professional life, I work as a software engineer, enjoying the freedom of remote work from the comfort of my home. With a job that leaves me with plenty of spare time and isn't overly demanding, I get to indulge in my passion for technology and computers, as programming brings me great joy.
What I seek is not just casual companionship but a genuine and fulfilling connection. Ideally, my partner would share some of my interests, allowing us to embark on joint adventures and create lasting memories together. It would be wonderful to find someone who shares my positive outlook and possesses a charming quirkiness as an introvert/loner, just like me.
Physically, I stand at 5'9", sporting dark brown hair that falls at a medium to long length, complementing my warm brown eyes and glasses. I have a slim build, and once we've established a connection, I'd be more than happy to share pictures with you.
In terms of communication, I also use Discord, which would be a fantastic bonus as it offers a convenient platform for us to chat. Once we've gotten to know each other better, I'm open to voice calls as well, as they allow for a more personal connection.
If this piques your interest and you're seeking genuine companionship, please send me a direct message. I can't wait to get to know you better! Thank you and have a wonderful day. :3

Hello there!
I'm on the lookout for something serious, hoping to find a special someone near York, where I reside. Allow me to introduce myself as a quirky, nerdy, creative, and positive individual. During my downtime, I immerse myself in the joys of reading, indulging in video games (especially on my beloved Nintendo Switch—I'm a huge fan of franchises like Zelda, Animal Crossing, Pokemon, and Mario), expressing myself through drawings, and diving into captivating Netflix series. As a bit of an introvert, I lead a quiet life without any friends, rarely venturing outside. However, when I do step out, I find solace in serene walks along the river and browsing the shelves of my favorite bookstore. It would be wonderful to meet someone with whom I can experience real-life adventures, like cozy café visits or delightful dinners at restaurants.
Ideally, I'm hoping to connect with someone local to York, but I'm also open to getting to know individuals from farther away if the connection is there. In my professional life, I work as a software engineer, enjoying the freedom of remote work from the comfort of my home. With a job that leaves me with plenty of spare time and isn't overly demanding, I get to indulge in my passion for technology and computers, as programming brings me great joy.
What I seek is not just casual companionship but a genuine and fulfilling connection. Ideally, my partner would share some of my interests, allowing us to embark on joint adventures and create lasting memories together. It would be wonderful to find someone who shares my positive outlook and possesses a charming quirkiness as an introvert/loner, just like me.
Physically, I stand at 5'9", sporting dark brown hair that falls at a medium to long length, complementing my warm brown eyes and glasses. I have a slim build, and once we've established a connection, I'd be more than happy to share pictures with you.
In terms of communication, I also use Discord, which would be a fantastic bonus as it offers a convenient platform for us to chat. Once we've gotten to know each other better, I'm open to voice calls as well, as they allow for a more personal connection.
If this piques your interest and you're seeking genuine companionship, please send me a direct message. I can't wait to get to know you better! Thank you and have a wonderful day. :3

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Where are we all going to sleep? If FarReach left, then it's just us, and we don't know this Starbase and we don't have any money! This was a terrible idea, what the hell am I doing?
You are doing what you need to do.
Brave talk from a bunch of atomic scale machines. You don't need to worry about where you're going to sleep tonight.
We will think of something.
Wait. You don't know either? What the hell? You Nanites are the ones convincing me to 'act like an Empress' and all, and now FarReach left, Captain Q'ari was declared unfit and almost everyone is afraid of me!
We will admit that we are... slightly... out of our depth. All of our collected memories come from Empresses who were well established in their position, with hundreds of people in their retinue. We are not familiar when the Empress has... three people who are going along with her and no home.
Then why did you have me do all that stuff?
We figured it would all work out.
At this point, I get too frustrated to argue with the Nanites inside my body. I look around for a place to sit, and come across a cafe. Finding an empty table, I sit heavily. Omar and the others joins me.
I look around at everyone, "Okay, so time for a sitrep."
Omar begins. "We're on a foreign Starbase,"
"As Their rulers, the Builders" Ava adds.
"But most of us don't have any Builder powers yet" Um'reli chimes in.
Ava raises a finger "That will come later as the Nanites grow and come online."
Omar looks out at the restaurant "We don't have any money and any place to stay."
We all look out into the passing crowd, ignored. This sucks. I didn't expect everyone to be frightened and leave. At least I have some friends here now.
Um'reli looks over at me with a strange expression. "Um, Melody?"
I look away from the crowds of people and face her. "What's up?"
"Melody. You have a Voice that can make people do whatever you tell them to do. Just..." She shrugs "Tell them to put us up in the fanciest Hotel this place has!"
Ava's face brightens. "Why are we worrying about money Melody? Just make people give us stuff."
Now they're thinking like Builders.
Ugh, really? Just go around and yell at people until I get what I want?
Empresses since the beginning of time have done as much.
As we are sitting there discussing options, an Azurian, probably an employee, walks up. "So, are you going to order something, or just take up a seat that a paying customer would use?"
"Oh, Sorry." and I start to get up when Ava and Um'reli look at me.
"Right, right. Um. B̶̭͝r̶͚͑ȉ̴͇ń̷̝g̸̼̑ us some menus please."
The Azurian reaches into a pocket on their apron and hands over four menus, turns and walks away quickly.
Ava looks down and grins. "I can read it!, Um'reli, Omar, can you read it yet?"
Omar and Um'reli look down as well. Omar squints at it. "Kind of? It's like it's...burry, but I can get the idea of what they're offering."
Um'reli moves the menu back and fort like she's trying to get it in focus as well. "Yeah, it's not all the way there, but it's definitely not just gibberish anymore."
Ava's face falls. "Too bad I don't know what any of it is. Just because I can read 'stir-fried laut over Grebian grains' doesn't mean I know what it is, or if it's good."
This time it's my turn to be sanguine. "I've had at least one meal and a snack here, and I haven't had anything bad yet. I'm sure it's all good. Just pick whichever one has a cool sounding name."
Everyone takes a moment to study the menus while I look around more. On the one hand, It's nice that we can just sit here and be ignored. On the other though, I don't want to be ignored! It turns out I really really like being worshipped. That worries me a little bit.
Oh well, survival first, worship second. I guess I'll have to just... tell people to take care of us for a little while. I don't really like that idea though... Ugh, I was hoping people would love me for me not because I told them to love me.
Ava loves you.
Are you sure? It feels like she loves the power I have.
Is there a difference?
Apparently my face is so shocked that Omar looks over. "Uh, Melody are you all right?"
"Oh sorry, yes I'm fine. Um, do anyone else's Nanites... talk to them?"
The blank stares give me all the answers I need.
"Okay so maybe it's an Empress thing or just because I've had them longer, but my Nanites... talk to me. They give me advice, tell me about things about the Starbase and about what previous Empresses did. That kind of stuff?"
"Is it... good advice?" Um'reli is asking very carefully.
"Ehhhh, sometimes?
Hey! All of our advice will get you to where you need to be.
Oh, so I need to be getting ready to order some poor Aviens to give us all dinner for free, then going to find a hotel and ordering them to give us a couple rooms for free?
If it's in the name of assuming your role as Empress, then yes.
I'm not so sure.
The Aviens server walks up. "Have you selected what you would like?"
T̶̍ͅḧ̷͎͓́͂i̸̧̋͜ş̸̡̀ ̶̥̃̆m̷̛̤̦̊ě̶̤â̵̦̚l̵̪͊ ̶̛̫̙i̴̳̊s̷̘͂ ̵͈͖̈́ḟ̷̪̔ͅr̴͓̀é̴͇͝ȩ̵͛̓.̶̗̊̋ͅ I say to them. They nod and take a pencil out. "What will it be then?"
After our order has been placed, we're left alone again. While we wait, I notice that two Aviens are sitting near us, watching us while they eat. One of them finally makes a gesture at the other, and they indicate no, but the first stands up anyway and approaches us.
"Uh, pardon my interruption" They say kindly "But are you by any chance that person who says they are the new Empress?"
I look up at them. They seem to be legitimately curious, I can't detect any sarcasm or malice in their body language. "Yes. I am the Empress Melody."
At confirmation, they relax visibly. "Oh wonderful Empress. I'm so pleased to see you out among us. We were at your speech earlier this afternoon, and were so excited."
Oooh, this is nice, I love a good compliment.
"I'm so glad that you came" I answer warmly. "It makes me feel good when I see residents who are happy to see me."
They nod vigorously. "Yes, I can't wait until you eject those cursed Mariens out into space and return Reach of the Might of Vzzx to Aviens hands like it was meant to be."
Omar, Ava, Um'reli and myself blink.
"Oh uh, really?" I say, weakly.
"Yes. It's far past time they get what's coming to them." And with that, they return back to their seats, and with a little wave, finish their meal.
Omar, Ava and Um'reli look at me. "Oh no, no no, you can't pin this on me, I didn't say anything!"
"Okay, but you're not actually going to do that are you? Space all the Mariens?" Omar glances back at them then at me.
"Of course not! I would never!" Why would he even think that I'd do that.
You don't have to space them all. If you did a few though, it certainly would make people realize you're someone that shouldn't be underestimated.
No. No. I am not going to space anyone!
Before this line of conversation goes any furthers, the Azurian arrives with our food. After they place the steaming plates down, they give me a little ticket and walk off. Turning the ticket over I see that it's the bill. Normally, this meal would cost... oh my... sixty Skys? Is that a lot? But on the bottom is says the amount due is 0 and that the meal is marked complimentary. Whew. At least it doesn't seem like anything bad happened as a result of that. With everyone else already eating, I get started.
Like I said before, I haven't had a bad meal here, and this is no exception. All of the food was amazing. Everyone agreed too. I'll have to see if I can remember where this place is, I want to come back - and pay them next time.
Mindful that I used the Voice to order them to give us dinner, we don't dawdle. After we eat we get up and begin to wander the promenade. I never really went further than the docks and the administration offices so I don't know what else is there. We take in the sights for a little while and then Omar looks at me again.
"So Melody, where are we staying tonight?"
"I have no idea Omar, have you seen anything that looks like a hotel?"
He shakes his head. "No, but I wouldn't know what I'm looking for."
Me neither. Who would though? "Wait, I wonder if the people who work in the Administrative offices might know. They would have to host dignitaries wouldn't they?"
"Yeah! Let's go rough them up again!" Ava is cheering. I look over at her with a stony face and she pouts.
"Uh Melody, you said that the Gate has been closed 'for three generations.' We're the first visitors in a long time if they live for anywhere close to as long as us." Um'reli, with the splash of cold water again.
We continue to walk around for a while, Ava spies a place that's selling clothes and drags us all there. "Look at this fabric! It shimmers, and is so soft" She's rubbing it against her cheek. "Normally, if you have something that shimmers like that, it's rough and scratchy. I need this. Melody, buy it for me please."
"Buy it Ava? I don't have any money."
She waves her hand dismissively. "Use your Voice to make them give it to me."
"Ava, I feel bad enough that I got us dinner for free. I'm not about to make them give you clothes. I'm trying to be a good Empress, not some kind of tyrant."
Ava pouts and puts the shirt back. "Hmph, you're no fun. What is even the point of a power like that if you're not going to use it."
She's right you know.
You always take her side.
Because she's got the right idea.
I can't stand it anymore. "I'm going to go ask the Administrators. At least the they might know where a Hotel is. I guess I could use the Voice to just ask random people, but I'm trying to not just make everyone do stuff for us if I can avoid it."
Ava looks over. "Are they going to be okay with seeing us? You did kind of threaten them and make them show you where the Throne was."
I flick my hand out dismissing the comment. "It'll be fine. Probably."
We work our way to the Administration offices. The barricade is still up, but it's not manned anymore. Huh. I wonder if they figured since we had our confrontation now that everything would be over with. I hope the Administrators aren't still mad-
I never got to finish that thought, because as I pushed open the door and walked in, someone behind a barricade made up of chairs and tables from the offices shot at me.
Again.
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Hi there! So I'm 36 years old from Pennsylvania. I have always had a thing for much older men and don't even really know why exactly. Part of it might be that I've always been very mature for my age and tend to get along much better with people who are older than me. The idea of being in a committed long-term relationship with someone older just feels right and natural to me. I am somewhat of a traditional person and do want to be properly married at some point.
Like the title says, I am willing to relocate if I find a genuine connection with the right person, but I would strongly prefer to remain on this continent, so that means please only message me if you're in the United States or Canada.
I also don't want you to message me if you're into the whole dom/sub dynamic or daddy/daughter dynamic; I'm not interested in those dynamics at all. I'm just a traditional woman. I'm a very loving and affectionate person by nature and a strong believer in romantic love, and I just want to find my one-and-only who I can fall deeply in love with and devote myself to forever. I'm the type who sees human sexuality as a very deep and meaningful act of affection between two people who are in love, and I would rather make love than just have sex for the sake of sex. Looks aren't really important to me; I'm the type of person who bases romantic attraction on personality and chemistry more than anything else.
In the spring and summer, I regularly attend an all-ages family nudist camp that is near me. My mother raised me to be a social nudist, so I have been going there all my life. I'm not one of those nudists who is nude at home all the time; for me it's more of a social thing that I do at a family-oriented camp environment. I find the social cohesion in an environment like that creates friendships and bonds that are unlike any social dynamic that you would ever find in any other regular social situation. My own theory regarding this is that it triggers a dormant social-cohesion mechanism in the human psyche that we had way back in our early history when we were living in small communal tribes. Back then, it was probably more normal for people to be casually nude if they wanted to be during the warmer months because everybody knew everybody and nobody was a stranger, and I think that kind of thing would kind of solidify your bond with the tribe. That's just my theory anyways, but it makes a lot of sense because I'm friends with families at that camp and am much closer to them than I am with anybody outside of the camp.
But if you think that your lifestyle values align with mine, free to message me in chat, and we'll see what kind of chemistry we have! 😊

Ancient World

• 455 – Sack of Rome: Vandals enter Rome, and plunder the city for two weeks.

Middle Ages

• 1098 – First Crusade: The first Siege of Antioch ends as Crusader forces take the city; the second siege began five days later.

Early Modern World

• 1608 – The Colony of Virginia gets a charter, extending borders from "sea to sea".
• 1615 – The first Récollet missionaries arrive at Quebec City, from Rouen, France.
• 1676 – Franco-Dutch War: France ensured the supremacy of its naval fleet for the remainder of the war with its victory in the Battle of Palermo.
• 1692 – Bridget Bishop is the first person to be tried for witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts; she was found guilty and later hanged.
• 1763 – Pontiac's Rebellion: At what is now Mackinaw City, Michigan, Chippewas capture Fort Michilimackinac by diverting the garrison's attention with a game of lacrosse, then chasing a ball into the fort.
• 1774 – Intolerable Acts: The Quartering Act is enacted, allowing a governor in colonial America to house British soldiers in uninhabited houses, outhouses, barns, or other buildings if suitable quarters are not provided.

Revolutionary Age

• 1780 – The anti-Catholic Gordon Riots in London leave an estimated 300 to 700 people dead.
• 1793 – French Revolution: François Hanriot, leader of the Parisian National Guard, arrests 22 Girondists selected by Jean-Paul Marat, setting the stage for the Reign of Terror.
• 1805 – Napoleonic Wars: A Franco-Spanish fleet recaptures Diamond Rock, an uninhabited island at the entrance to the bay leading to Fort-de-France, from the British.
• 1835 – P. T. Barnum and his circus start their first tour of the United States.
• 1848 – The Slavic congress in Prague begins.
• 1866 – The Fenians defeat Canadian forces at Ridgeway and Fort Erie, but the raids end soon after.

Second Industrial Revolution

• 1896 – Guglielmo Marconi applies for a patent for his wireless telegraph.
• 1909 – Alfred Deakin becomes Prime Minister of Australia for the third time.
• 1910 – Charles Rolls, a co-founder of Rolls-Royce Limited, becomes the first man to make a non-stop double crossing of the English Channel by plane.

Interwar Period

• 1919 – Anarchists simultaneously set off bombs in eight separate U.S. cities.
• 1924 – U.S. President Calvin Coolidge signs the Indian Citizenship Act into law, granting citizenship to all Native Americans born within the territorial limits of the United States.

World War II

• 1941 – World War II: German paratroopers murder Greek civilians in the villages of Kondomari and Alikianos.

Cold War

• 1946 – Birth of the Italian Republic: In a referendum, Italians vote to turn Italy from a monarchy into a Republic. After the referendum, King Umberto II of Italy is exiled.
• 1953 – The coronation of Queen Elizabeth II at Westminster Abbey becomes the first British coronation and one of the first major international events to be televised.
• 1955 – The USSR and Yugoslavia sign the Belgrade declaration and thus normalize relations between the two countries, discontinued since 1948.
• 1962 – During the FIFA World Cup, police had to intervene multiple times in fights between Chilean and Italian players in one of the most violent games in football history.
• 1964 – The Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) is formed.
• 1966 – Surveyor program: Surveyor 1 lands in Oceanus Procellarum on the Moon, becoming the first U.S. spacecraft to soft-land on another world.
• 1967 – Luis Monge is executed in Colorado's gas chamber, in the last pre-Furman execution in the United States.
• 1967 – Protests in West Berlin against the arrival of the Shah of Iran are brutally suppressed, during which Benno Ohnesorg is killed by a police officer. His death results in the founding of the terrorist group Movement 2 June.
• 1979 – Pope John Paul II starts his first official visit to his native Poland, becoming the first Pope to visit a Communist country.
• 1983 – After an emergency landing because of an in-flight fire, twenty-three passengers aboard Air Canada Flight 797 are killed when a flashover occurs as the plane's doors open. Because of this incident, numerous new safety regulations are put in place.
• 1990 – The Lower Ohio Valley tornado outbreak spawns 66 confirmed tornadoes in Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio, killing 12.

Modern World

• 1997 – In Denver, Timothy McVeigh is convicted on 15 counts of murder and conspiracy for his role in the 1995 bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, in which 168 people died. He was executed four years later.
• 2003 – Europe launches its first voyage to another planet, Mars. The European Space Agency's Mars Express probe launches from the Baikonur space center in Kazakhstan.
• 2012 – Former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is sentenced to life imprisonment for his role in the killing of demonstrators during the 2011 Egyptian revolution.
• 2014 – Telangana officially becomes the 29th state of India, formed from ten districts of northwestern Andhra Pradesh.
• 2022 – Following a request from Ankara, the United Nations officially changed the name of the Republic of Turkey in the organization from what was previously known as "Turkey" to "Türkiye."

Featured

• Sack of Rome (455) > The sack of 455 AD marked a pivotal moment in history when the Vandals (led by King Genseric), a Germanic tribe, invaded the city of Rome. The Vandals pillaged the city for two weeks, causing widespread destruction. This event not only shocked the Roman world but also symbolized the decline and impending fall of the Western Roman Empire.

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Just got back from a solo trip through South Africa, and despite all the cautions and reservations I heard on- and off-line, I loved every bit of it! Sharing some quick notes here for reference, and happy to answer any queries from people thinking of travelling there.
Profile
34 yo Indian man. Not the primest of targets for crime, admittedly, but I didn't really look like a poor write-off as well.
Dates
21 May 2023 - 31 May 2023
Itinerary
2N in Johannesburg with visits to Apartheid Museum, Soweto, and Rosebank Mall. Stayed at Clico Boutique Hotel in Rosebank. Found the city to be pleasant and well worth the stopover, also perfectly safe if navigated using Uber or through join-in tours.
3N in Greater Kruger, specifically at Nyati Safari Lodge in the Balule Reserve, with 2x game drives daily (morning and evening). Saw 3 of the big 5 (missed out on Rhinos and Leopards but have seen them earlier in India, so no heartache) as well as animals unique to Africa - hippos (right outside my room!), zebra, giraffes, and more antelopes than I can remember the names of. Also did a bushwalk, and loved all the bush sundowners and breakfasts. It was absolutely safe inside the lodge, the bigger threats mere mischeivous monkeys raiding the mini-bar. This was my first African Safari experience, and I loved every bit of it - can definitely see myself become a safari hoe in the years to come.
2N in Franschhoek, with a day-long self-cycle through the region (the road from Berg River Dam to Huguenot Memorial is beautiful), and more wine tastings (highly recommend Eikehof and Glenwood) than I'd had in the entirety of my life till the day. The place was my favourite in SA - beautiful, delicious, creative, and a bubble of safety. Stayed at the lovely Chanteclair guesthouse (the host Allan is a gem).
3N in Cape Town, with visits to Table Mountain, the waterfront, a peninsula tour (Camp's Bay, Hout Bay, Chapman's Peak, Cape of Good Hope, Boulders Penguin Colony, and Muizenberg), Kirstenbosch, Company's Garden, Zeitz MCAA (fantastic if you're into art) and Bo Kaap (with the lovely and free Cape Town Walking Tours). The city is easily one of the most, if not the most, beautiful in the world - the setting is spectacular, even in the cold, windy, rainy weather I was there in. It was also markedly safer than Joburg, and there were several parts of town where walking around didn't make me feel as on-edge. Stayed at Taj Cape Town (stellar downtown hotel which allows easier access to the actual city than the tourist enclave hotels of the lively but sterile Waterfront area).
Safety
Almost everyone I spoke to before visiting South Africa painted it as a free-for-all crime zone. I'd be mugged, raped, killed, or whatnot here, they said. Don't go alone. Don't go at all. All of it, ofcourse, turned out to be overblown, panic-stricken hogwash. I navigated the country without incident. BUT I didn't just stroll into town with an open wallet either - I made sure to stay at good hotels (within my budget), keep my valuables hidden away like in a secure backpack or an inside pocket, check locally for safety advice, and use Ubers or tours wherever recommended. These weren't special safety procedures designed for South Africa, mind you, they were just common precautions I'd use in any country I was visiting. It helped my travel remain incident free, and the only time I was approached by someone mildly unsavoury was when a drunk man stumbled past saying 'Good day brother' in Bo Kaap. The biggest threat to my safety in SA turned out to be marauding monkeys at my lodge near Kruger who raided the neighbouring room's minibar and made away with milk and coffee sachets. Also, contrary to some advice, things left lying around in my hotel room as well as check-in baggage at the airports remained absolutely safe and untampered.
Power (Cuts)
Load shedding is rife, and Joburg was seeing 10-12 hours of load shedding while I was there. However, all my hotels had power backup, and all the spots I visited had power backup (wherever needed), so I effectively only ever noticed loadshedding during the switch-overs between supply and gensets in my smaller Joburg and Franschhoek hotels. I even disabled the push notifications for the power supply app (ESP) because it was of no real use to me any more. Moral of the story - make sure your hotel has power backup, and carry a power bank in the unlikely event you find yourself at a cafe without electricity. Also, check up on the power points - I didn't do my research properly and had to buy two overpriced plugs in Joburg.
Weather
Joburg had crisp weather with lots of sun, but cool temperatures. Kruger had warm days and cool nights - layers were essential! Franschhoek was kinda like Joburg weather, while Cape Town was windy and rainy. The only place I could contemplate swimming was in Kruger and in the heated pool of my Cape Town hotel.
Food
EXCELLENT everywhere, even in remote Kruger. Franschhoek, however, was a highlight - if there's one place you'd want to splurge for good food, it's here. Also helps that the wine is cheap and plentiful and sublime. For vegetarians and vegans, most restaurants had symbols identifying suitable menu items, and everyone speaks English so its easy to clarify. Would recommend making online reservations at the more popular fine dining spots.
Costs
On the whole, South Africa is very affordable for someone used to American or European or Japanese or Singaporean prices, especially with the unabated fall of the ZAR. Coming from India, however, it was a bit of a mixed bag - dining out was very cheap, and hotels were great value, but domestic flights and longer taxi transfers (like Cape Town - Franschhoek or the day tours) felt expensive. Uber rides and high street shopping were just a tad pricier than I'm used to in India while the coffee and alcohol prices were an absolute delight. Entrance tickets to most sights, however, are fairly steep and much closer to the European norm than the African or Asian. That said, major sights are professionally managed, clean, safe, and have power backup.
Tipping is expected, I'd round things upward of 10% of the bill amount, except at a fine dining experience in Franschhoek where a service charge was explicitly included and informed about. Tips can be added to the card machine and need not necessarily be paid in cash.
Paying by card is practically universal in tourist-friendly spots (including entry tickets and even for smaller payments), and I didn't need to exchange any extra cash or use an ATM. Visa and Mastercard work everywhere ofcourse, and Amex has appreciable reach as well. Diner's Club and others, however, won't help.
It's good to exchange a small amount like 100 USD to help with petty payments like parking tickets or small tips or quick bites from convenience stores.
Communication
I purchased a Vodacom sim on arrival at Johannesburg, and it worked well everywhere, even giving 5G in most of Joburg, Cape Town, and Franschhoek centre. Data and talktime prices were a tad expensive (I'm spoilt because it's dirt cheap in India), but it was easy to top things up online or at stores on-the-go.
Free WiFi was widely available at airports, tourist sights, restaurants, malls etc, and worked quite decentl
Getting around
Uber works well in Joburg and Cape Town, with many local recommending Uber X. Bolt, however, was universally NOT recommended because it wasn't very reliable. I didn't try public transport, but heard that the Gautrain in Joburg and the Myciti BRT in Cape Town were safe and good quality.
I also flew from Johannesburg to Hoedspruit and Hoedspruit to Cape Town with Airlink, which was a great little regional airline with good service, punctual arrivals/departures, and a very tourist-friendly schedule and network. The tickets were quite overpriced though, and Amex refused to work on their own website, but I did get to check-in on to business class seats on economy tickets so I guess it was good overall.
I didn't self-drive. However, I met several travellers who did it (including a German lady who was campervanning solo across the entirety of southern Africa), and they reported it being easy and safe. The only precautions were to make sure you were hiring from a reputable company, not driving too much at night (out of fear of being stranded more than anything else), and purchasing the insurance plan with the agent. I did use plenty of roads, and generally observed that most highways were in decent shape and allowed for 100+ kmph speeds. Petrol stations were plentiful, and many came attached with convenience stores and mini-malls, usually with power backup. For parking, you'd usually have a local tout popping up helping you manouevre the car and watch over it for a small 5-10 ZAR tip (don't skimp on this, as petty thieves have been known to break into unattended cars to pilfer whatever they can, though I never ever saw this in action - practically every street in every town had a parking attendant on hand).
I did cycle around Franschhoek by myself and it was fantastic, much better than the kitschy Wine Tram experience. It was also very safe, and I even biked through town for dinner and some moonlight photos. The only bugbears were car traffic on the main roads, and a caution by the bike rental shop against leaving the night lamp on the bike unattended (had to unlatch it and keep it on me instead - but still, safer than biking in Amsterdam lol).
Getting there
Joburg is the biggest international airport with the better flight deals and has direct flights to all inhabited continents. It's a fairly modern and easy-to-use terminal, and I didn't observe any of the usual scams. Cape Town is the better looking airport, but has fewer connections, although it's still easy to get here with a simple transit at a major hub like London or Dubai. Durban also has a middle-sized airport with a handful of long haul links.
Most other airports are small - Hoedspruit was basically a collection of open-to-air pavillions - and have only domestic flights to the likes of JNB or CPT. Nelspruit, in southern Kruger has a few Airlink connections with Victoria Falls and the Mozambique coast, aimed at holidayers.
As an Indian, I was eligible for an evisa but the system never worked, taking my documents but never letting me pay the application fee. I instead applied manually at Delhi's VFS centre, and got my visa in 2 days (the VFS staff also told me that the evisa portal was hopeless and I shouldn't even have bothered). The evisa system finally budged while I was en-route to JNB, telling me that my application was rejected because I never submitted a bank statement (which I did) and completely ignored the fact that I never paid for my application (thanks to the inactive payment link). The rejection clearly didn't get slotted in anywhere because Immigrations was absolutely fine with my stamped-visa and didn't bother asking me anything other than why I was visiting and when I'd leave.
I flew in on Etihad via Abu Dhabi (decent airline but the airport needs a lot of work to compete with its neighbours) and back on Emirates via Dubai (excellent airline with very generous meals and a great IFE, as well as a huge and modern megahub airport experience albeit with overpriced food and shopping). Flight timings were fairly convenient both ways, with day-time arrivals and check-ins.
People
Some of the friendliest I've ever met! Everybody is happy to have a zany chat, and conversations can quickly become pal-ly and banter-ful if you're open enough. On the whole South Africans felt fairly extroverted and loosened up - very informal and sleeves-rolled-up. You'll have to excuse yourself out of a conversation, else you'll be left talking to them the whole day and not have any time left to sightsee.
Race
Speaking as an outsider who only observed things for 10 odd days, I felt that there's still a decent amount of racial segregation at play in SA.
While many lower-paying jobs are almost exclusively held by blacks and the colours thanks to the country's history of institutionalised racism, Blacks and Coloured peoples can now also be commonly seen in upscale areas as guests and visitors. However, the majority of patrons in these locations appeared to be white and Afrikaans speaking. I also only ever saw one mixed group - a white lady entertaining a black man and his daughter at a Cape Town waterfront restaurant where I was having dinner.
I did share a few drinks with Joburg-based white couples at my safari lodge, and on the whole, they didn't feel inherently racist. They in fact remembered the Mandela and Mbeki days with pride, and felt that most of the crime in South Africa was thanks to the corruption in the African National Congress (they were all praises for the opposition who holds sway in the Cape) and immigrants from neighbouring countries - they rather trusted Black South Africans for everyday affairs. At my Cape Town hotel, meanwhile, I met a few black businessmen and politicians at the pool and gym, and they told me similar things - that the ANC was corrupt, immigrants are to blame for crime etc, and didn't really have any strong opinions about whites. These experiences contrasted greatly with my conversation with a white Afrikaner pensioner in my Zanzibar hotel ten years ago, who was spewing hate against black crime after two whiskeys.
Since I'm Indian, I was often mistaken for a local - everybody (regardless of their race) would be taken aback when they heard my accent and learnt I was actually not South African (which has a large South Asian origin community) or even African (many South Asian origin peoples in eastern Africa and Mauritius especially). This spoke volumes to me - in the UK, where I studied and which now has an Indian-origin PM and a hugely visible South Asian diaspora, people would still ask me 'what country are you from?' on appearance alone. It really did emphasize how SA was more of a rainbow nation than just a slogan.
What did I like?
Practically everything, even Joburg. The safari experience was better than I expected, Cape Town was breathtaking, and Franschhoek became my favourite little town in the world. Also loved the food and the wine, and loved meeting and chatting with the locals. Of all the countries I've visited, SA is the one I'm surest about wanting to return to - and I'm not trying to be diplomatic - I honestly felt like I need more time here.
What didn't I like?
I disliked how such a great country with excellent basic infrastructure is being mismanaged. EVERYONE I spoke to was complaining about how corruption killed the country's power supply system and railways and is now threatening other aspects of life. None of these directly or visibly impacted my travels, but I would've liked being able to take a train instead of flights or not spend a premium to stay at places that had generators.
Anything I'd change?
While Joburg turned out to be a pleasant place, had I the option, I'd have skipped it to spend more time in Cape Town. I'd also spend a few more days in Franschhoek and around - the area turned out to be my favourite. Now that I've also had a lay of the land, I'm more confident about self-driving next time I visit. Also, I only realised how convenient it is to travel from SA to neighbouring countries, and would like to latch on visits to the Namibian desert, Botswana's game parks, the Victoria Falls on the Zambia-Zimbabwe border, and the beaches of Mozambique alongside a return to SA.
I realise I could have managed some things better on this trip, but bottom line is that I enjoyed it, and that this is not a 'who had the best trip' competition. I'm just sharing my positive experience of South Africa in the hope that it encourages others to properly and safely plan a trip to the place instead of avoiding it out of second-hand-scares.
Happy to take any follow ups in the comments :)

Are you ready to embark on an adrenaline-fueled adventure in the majestic land of Niagara Falls? Look no further than the exhilarating world of go kart racing! Nestled amidst the breathtaking beauty of Niagara Falls, Canada, lies a haven for speed enthusiasts seeking an unforgettable experience. In this article, we'll delve into the thrilling realm of go karting in Niagara Falls, exploring the best tracks, safety measures, FAQs, and more. So fasten your seat belts and get ready for a wild ride!
Go Kart Niagara Falls Canada: Unleash Your Inner Speed Demon
Niagara Falls, renowned for its awe-inspiring natural wonders, also offers an exhilarating experience for racing enthusiasts. Whether you're a seasoned pro or a first-time driver, the go kart tracks in Niagara Falls Canada cater to all skill levels. So why not strap on a helmet and immerse yourself in the thrill of high-speed racing? Let's explore the top go kart tracks that will get your heart racing!

Niagara Speedway: The Ultimate Racing Destination

Located just a stone's throw away from the magnificent falls, Niagara Speedway stands as a mecca for go kart enthusiasts. Inspired by the famous Mario Kart video game, this multi-level track boasts over 2,000 linear feet of exhilarating twists, turns, and ramps. With its state-of-the-art electric karts reaching speeds of up to 32 miles per hour, Niagara Speedway offers an adrenaline rush like no other.

Grand Prix Kartways: A Haven for Speed Lovers

For those seeking a challenging and competitive racing experience, Grand Prix Kartways is the go-to destination. Situated in the heart of Niagara Falls, this indoor go karting facility offers an adrenaline-pumping track designed to push your driving skills to the limit. Equipped with high-performance electric karts, racers can navigate hairpin bends, conquer straightaways, and engage in thrilling overtakes.

Safety First: Preparing for the Ride

Before hitting the tracks, it's essential to prioritize safety to ensure a memorable and injury-free experience. Go karting, like any motorsport, involves inherent risks. Therefore, familiarizing yourself with safety guidelines and taking necessary precautions is crucial. Let's take a look at some key safety measures you should keep in mind:

1. Gear Up for Safety

• Wear a properly fitted helmet, gloves, and closed-toe shoes to protect yourself from potential injuries.
• Opt for comfortable and non-restrictive clothing, allowing freedom of movement while driving.
• Consider wearing a neck brace to minimize the risk of neck injuries during high-speed maneuvers.

2. Familiarize Yourself with the Track

• Take a few moments to understand the layout of the track, including its twists, turns, and potential hazards.
• Familiarize yourself with the track's safety features, such as barriers and runoff areas.

3. Follow Track Rules and Regulations

• Abide by the track's rules and regulations, including speed limits, overtaking protocols, and flag signals.
• Respect other drivers on the track and avoid aggressive maneuvers that may compromise safety.

FAQs: All Your Burning Questions Answered

FAQ 1: Is go karting suitable for children?

Yes, go karting is an exciting activity for children! Many go kart tracks in Niagara Falls Canada offer junior karts specifically designed for young drivers. These karts have limited speeds and additional safety features to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for children.

FAQ 2: Are there age restrictions for go karting?

Most go kart tracks have age restrictions in place for safety reasons. While the specific age requirements may vary between tracks, children as young as 4 or 5 years old can often participate in junior karting. Adult go karting typically requires participants to be at least 16 years old, although some tracks may allow younger drivers under adult supervision.

FAQ 3: Do I need prior experience to go karting in Niagara Falls?

No prior experience is necessary to enjoy go karting in Niagara Falls Canada. The tracks cater to drivers of all skill levels, from beginners to seasoned racers. Whether you're a first-time driver or a seasoned pro, the staff at the go kart tracks will provide you with a comprehensive briefing on kart controls, safety guidelines, and track rules.

FAQ 4: Can I bring my own racing gear?

While some tracks may allow participants to bring their own racing gear, it's always recommended to check with the specific track beforehand. Most go kart tracks provide all necessary safety equipment, including helmets and gloves, to ensure uniform safety standards.

FAQ 5: Can I book go karting sessions in advance?

Yes, it's highly recommended to book your go karting session in advance, especially during peak seasons or weekends when the tracks tend to be busier. Booking in advance guarantees your spot and allows you to plan your racing adventure more efficiently.

FAQ 6: Are there any group or party packages available?

Yes, many go kart tracks in Niagara Falls Canada offer group packages and party options. These packages are ideal for birthday parties, corporate events, or simply gathering your friends for a thrilling racing experience. Be sure to check the track's website or contact them directly to inquire about available packages.

Conclusion: Unleash the Speedster Within!

Go karting in Niagara Falls Canada provides an electrifying experience for speed enthusiasts of all ages. With thrilling tracks, state-of-the-art karts, and strict safety measures in place, you can quench your thirst for adventure while enjoying the magnificent natural beauty of Niagara Falls. So, what are you waiting for? Strap on your helmet, buckle up, and get ready to embrace the exhilaration of go karting in Niagara Falls Canada!

Hello lovely readers,
Welcome to the second and final discussion of Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands by Kate Beaton. This autobiographical comic was Canada Reads (an annual "battle of the books") winner for 2023. You can read the first discussion here.
Summary
The story picks up one month after that horrible party. Kate sleeps with Mike. She continues to get weird sexual comments from the men she works with, but she has started to laugh the comments off. Many of the men seem to have problems with her giving them orders, and her superiors get pissy with her for minor things or for wanting ‘special treatment’. Joe, a fellow Nova Scotian, overhears her swearing in frustration and tells her that everyone at the mine is just yelling at the guy next to them for work they’re not doing themselves, but that people tend to be friendlier to people from their own region of Canada. Kate wonders aloud to Doug whether the oil sands make people better or worse.
The men at the mine have heard that Kate’s ‘little friends’ (her sister Becky and friend Lindsay) are going to be joining them, and she warns them to leave them alone. When Becky and Lindsay arrive, they are wearing skirts and they quickly notice the staring and weird behaviour from the men on site. Kate apologises for it, and they wonder why she is saying sorry.
Kate tells Becky and Lindsay that the other men have been leaving her alone since most people know about her and Mike, and they tell her it’s because in their eyes she’s ‘claimed’.
They take a trip to Gregoire Beach, but Kate doesn’t wear a swimsuit or go swimming. Becky asks her what’s up with her, as she’s noticed something is wrong. Kate talks about how everything at the beach seems so normal, but that she isn’t. However, she doesn’t explain further.
Kate looks for other jobs online, and sees a post for a job at the Maritime Museum of British Columbia in Victoria, the capital of British Columbia.
Not long afterwards, she sees the man who forced himself on her at that party. He and the group of men he’s with see her and they start laughing.
Kate hears a man playing Peter’s Dream on his guitar, and joins in singing the song.
She goes to Becky’s room and tells her that she needs to leave the oil sands for a while, even though she and Lindsay have just arrived. She asks her to promise that she and Lindsay will look out for each other, and finally tells her about the assaults. Becky tells her that it wasn’t her fault, and wishes she had been there sooner to protect her as that’s her job as the big sister. She tells Kate that it happened to her too, at her university dorm. She tells Kate she should go.
We leave the oil sands, for a year in Victoria. Kate gets the museum job but it’s no more than 21 hours per week, so she gets a second job. In a coffee shop, she hears the song An Innis Aigh playing, and tells a woman who was wondering aloud about the language that it’s Gaelic.
Victoria seems like a nicer place than the oil sands, but it isn’t perfect – the city big problems with homelessness and mental health, but none of the old, rich people living there care [read runner note – according to Victoria’s Wikipedia page, the city is known for its disproportionately large retiree population. Some 23.4% of the population of Victoria and its surrounding area are over 65 years of age, which is higher than the overall Canadian distribution of over 65 year-olds in the population (19%). A historically popular cliché refers to Victoria as the home of "the newly wed and nearly dead"]. Kate is fired from her job for not taking American money and not wanting to sell the merchandise badly enough. One of her colleagues (I think?) sees her drawing a comic, and suggests that she should make a website.
Kate tells her parents that on her days off she works at a grocery store, and her father wonders what her degree was for. Shortly afterwards, she is fired from the grocery store for yawning and ‘being surly’. She goes on a date, but panics when the guy tries to kiss her at the end.
Kate can’t get a reprieve from her student loan payments, even though she paid half of it off the previous year with her oil sands earnings. She decides to go back to the oil sands to pay the rest off, and says goodbye to the museum.
After that brief reprieve, we’re back in the oil sands, this time at Shell Albian Sands. Kate has taken a job in the warehouse office, and her living quarters are a bit fancier than at the previous sites. The site also has a Tim Hortons, Wi-Fi and a gym, even yoga classes. Lindsay tells her that a lot of the warehouse crew from Long Lake have moved up there too. One of her new colleagues is Hatim, who is creepy in a new way, plaguing her with messages despite having a wife and children.
The team get a congratulations message with a gif for achieving three million man hours without a lost time incident (LTI). Kate’s boss, Ryan, tells her that they don’t have LTIs at the site because they look bad for the company, I guess implying that they cover them up.
She sees Doug again, who seems to feel that she’s all high and mighty now with her office job, and struggles with her ‘bossing him’ since she’s younger than him (and presumably because she’s female). When she has to cover a warehouse shift, Doug laughs about how she’s down from on high and has gone soft. He tells her that he sang with The Men of the Deeps and even sang for the queen, which she doubts because he has a terrible voice. She sings a bit of Coal Town Road (which I’m kind of disappointed doesn’t sound like Old Town Road) and asks if she could be in the choir too, but he seems annoyed about her singing a mining song when she’s not a miner.
Kate’s sister Becky is still working at Long Lake, but lives in Fort McMurray, and Kate goes to meet her there; she says it’s much better than living in the camp. She tells Kate, that one time a guy jumped out of the closet in her room, but she was able to kick him out. She always locked her door, but often heard the handle jiggling at night. She even had a stalker, who managed to get into her room with a bottle of alcohol and suggested doing body shots – she didn’t report it, but when he got fired everyone thought she had.
Kate struggles to read some of the order sheets because many of the workers are bad spellers or have unclear handwriting; many of the older men at the mine left school in grade six. Lindsay tells her about one of the lead hands from Newfoundland, who can’t read, and was humiliated by the other workers when they tried to make him read the safety memo aloud so they could laugh at him. Lindsay says she’s never seen a grown man ashamed like that, and they discuss how he’s one of the nicest guys there.
A group from the Calgary office visits the mine site, and Kate has to find the nice hard hats and safety vests for the visitors, the ones the actual workers can’t have because they’re too fancy. Basically, they have to put on a show for the head office people – everyone has to look sharp, make things tidier than normal etc. One of the visitors takes a photo of Kate. After they leave, Damian asks if he can have one of the fancy new vests, but they were taken back to Calgary even though they don’t need them at head office.
Kate continues doing her comics, and her colleagues occasionally read them. Ryan finds some of them in the scanner, which she had used to upload them to her website, and tells her not to leave her stuff lying around at work.
Becky and Kate discuss what it would have been like if their father had gone out to the oil sands to work when they were children, as many people did. They wonder if he would have been like the other men they work with, and how they must all be normal at home. Kate says she tries to remember that there are a lot of men who don’t bother her, but she doesn’t remember them because they’re not the ones in her face.
Their safety lectures tell them basic information about how ice is slippery and is all over the ground, which presumably every Canadian already knows. One of the men remarks that it’s not about safety, but an arse-covering exercise so that a worker can’t sue them if they fall. Kate doodles a pony in her notebook (thank you u/Amanda39 for linking to this comic in last week’s discussion!).
Many of the staff have families that they don’t see very often. One of the men gets a phonecall from his wife’s phone, which he answers thinking it’s an emergency as she never calls during the day; it turns out to be his young son, who is calling to see when he’s coming home next.
Brian asks Kate if she heard about the ducks (TITLE DROP!!); three hundred of them got stuck in a tailings pond at another oil sands site [read runner note – two years later, Syncrude was actually found guilty of the death of 1,600 ducks]. The site begins installing anti-waterfowl devices, and the staff are reminded that they have to wear PPE at all times. They’re also told about the death Gerald Snopes, another worker; some of the men talking amongst themselves, and Ryan tells them to have some respect. He had a heart attack while operating a crane, and threw himself out of the cab so that he wouldn’t land on the controls and cause an accident.
Kate hears about a road accident involving some men from Cape Breton. She asks Davy about it to see if she knows them, but neither of them do. Kate finds the news articles and feels annoyed that they were misidentified as Calgary men.
Kate notices some welts on her back; Lindsay has them too but doesn’t know what it is. Kate mentions all the dust they have to wipe off everything, and how there’s so much crap in the air. Lindsay wonders what kind of cancer they’ll have in 20 years.
Kate finds Doug building a scarecrow for the tailings pond, which is meant to scare off the ducks. Probably another arse-covering exercise.
Activists from Greenpeace try to block an oil sands pipeline, and 11 people are arrested. One of the workers gets angry about it, asking who will put their life on the line to unclog the pipe Greenpeace has blocked, and that it sure as hell won’t be the president of Shell. Kate hears about another death – a contractor was in his trucks, and one of the heavy haulers drove over it, crushing him.
Lindsay writes an article for a grassroots paper, giving the inside perspective on working at the oil sands. Kate considers doing a comic about it for them. Lindsay later wonders if she made a mistake writing her article, as many of the comments are critical, including many from women which Lindsay did not expect.
Kate sees a video on YouTube of Celina Harpe, an elder in the Cree community of Fort McKay, talking about the effect of the oil sands on the First Nation. Kate had not realised when she arrived there that Fort McKay was a First Nation, nor that it was so close to Syncrude. She thinks about how she’s not the president of Shell, but she’s still working there, and she can’t extract herself from having come.
At another safety meeting, the staff are down the safety pyramid, which has different levels: at the base it has at-risk behaviours, then near misses, then minor incidents, and it all leads to a major incident or a fatality.
Kate receives a phone call from a reporter at the Globe and Mail who had seen her comics about the oil sands. She asks several leading questions about her experience as a woman at the remote sites and the harassment, but Kate feels uncomfortable giving her examples. She later tells Lindsay that she couldn’t talk to the reporter as she felt like she just wanted gossip, and that the story was already written before she called.
The leering of one of the other workers bothers Kate in the lunchroom, and she tells Lindsay about her assaults. Lindsay is horrified that Mike and Brian laughed at her when she told them about it. Lindsay tells her that it happened to her in university as well.
Kate calls her parents to tell them that she’s finally paid off her student loan, but she needs to keep working at the site because now she has no money. She’s going to try making it as a cartoonist, and her parents are unimpressed.
Kate notices that Ryan is acting strangely, being absent a lot and not doing his work, and it can’t fully be explained by his recent divorce. She hears about other workers who are taking cocaine and behaving strangely too. She asks Ryan if he’s ok and he brushes it off. Kate contemplates the safety pyramid again. She finds a piece of paper on Ryan’s desk with an appointment for the employee assistance program. Emily later tells her that Ryan has left suddenly, and that they need to figure things out until a replacement is found.
Kate wonders why there are so many safety meetings but none have ever talked about drugs or alcohol. Her coworkers say that everyone knows why there is so much of both, and that the company can’t have safety meetings about illegal activities anyway.
Kate finally gets to leave the oil sands and go home. Her colleague Norman gives her prints of some of his photos of the northern lights as a leaving present, including one of a rainbow. Before she leaves, the company organises a staff photograph with all the workers on the site. Kate sees the man who assaulted her the second time, and he recognises her but can’t remember her name or who she is, and asks her how it’s going.
Kate trains her replacement, and finds out that she’s earning more than her despite not having any experience in tools. She complains to John about it, and finally rants about all her shitty treatment in the oil sands. She goes to see Gary in the head office, and demands her full bonus, which was going to be docked because she was leaving. Gary tells her it’s company policy. She tells him about the harassment, and he claims she could have come to them about it, but she fires back that he knows she couldn’t have. Gary agrees to give her the bonus. Her colleagues organise a going-away barbecue, and even Mike attends.
Back in Nova Scotia, Kate is reunited with her family. While out enjoying the seaside air, she chats to a farmer who tells her he’s keeping a field for his son who is working out west in case he ever comes back and wants to build a house. A man called Lauchie visits the house before moving west himself, and tells them there’s something for everyone out there and that the young people have everything they want. Out in Halifax with friends, she and Becky see a man from one of the camps, who tells Becky that they had a bet on who would sleep with her first. Their friends who haven’t worked in the oil sands can’t believe they’d let a man talk to them like that.
In the book’s afterword, Kate talks about how the book chronicles her specific experience at a specific time. She is wary of sensationalism of her story, especially because sexual assault is so common that it’s not actually sensational. She notes that neither of the men who raped her probably consider it to have been rape. She is also critical of the treatment of Indigenous people, and says the YouTube video of Celina Harpe was a “sword that cut through my ignorance”. We also find out that Becky died of cancer, and that her former coworkers pooled money together to send to her.
Bookclub Bingo 2023 categories: Non-Fiction, Graphic Novel (grey), Mod Pick (grey)
Other links:

• The first discussion
• Canada Reads page about Ducks [I hadn’t realised that Station Eleven, another recent bookclub read, was the runner up]
• Kate Beaton on Wikipedia
• Hark! A Vagrant, the archive of Kate Beaton’s comics website
• The original Hark! A Vagrant sketch comic about the oil sands (links to all five parts; I’ve posted the parts individually below this in case that’s easier)
• Original Ducks Part 1
• Original Ducks Part 2
• Original Ducks Part 3
• Original Ducks Part 4
• Original Ducks Part 5
• Lindsay Bird was one of the people in the book whose name wasn’t changed, and in 2019 she published a poetry collection about working in the oil sands called Boom Time. There’s a CBC article about the book here.

The questions are in the comments below. Thank you for joining me and u/fixtheblue in reading this book!