Lingerie-etsy
Lingerie Addiction
2013.01.18 23:38 MrHorseykins Lingerie Addiction
A place for the discussion of lingerie from fit to fashion, trends, history, reviews, where to buy, and more. Whether you're an expert or buying your first set, whatever your size, budget, or style, everyone with a love for lingerie is welcome.
2022.02.06 20:48 fronti-nulla-fides etsysexy
Sexy lingerie models on Etsy. For admirers of harnesses, open bra, sheer, BDSM or just sexy lingerie.
2023.03.05 16:17 Time_Traveling_Nerd Welcome to CosplaySFW - More Detailed Explanation of the Rules
Welcome to CosplaySFW! We are so excited to see so many new people join. Thank you all so much!
With the sudden increase in members, we, as a Modteam, just wanted to clarify the Subreddit’s rules, as there is a limited number of characters in the rules section, and we want to make sure everyone is on the same page.
Rule #1 Be Kind.
We want this subreddit to feel like a safe place for everyone to post their cosplays and creations. We ask that you refrain from comments that judge someone’s body, progress, or creations negatively. We want to avoid hurting feelings and anything that would discourage someone from ever cosplaying again.
We will not tolerate comments that are racist, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, fatphobic, or insult the way someone may look in any way, shape, or form. Please don’t tell someone that they can’t cosplay a character because they don’t naturally look like them. Cosplay is for everyone, and everyone is allowed to cosplay anyone they want.
Remember that we are all humans that have feelings.
If you wish to receive constructive criticism for your creations or cosplays, please feel free to list “Constructive criticism welcome” in the title of your post so others know it’s okay.
Rule #2 No NSFW Content.
As the rule states, no lewd, pornographic, boudoir, or suggestive content is allowed.
We want to keep this subreddit PG-13. We realize that some canon characters can have very NSFW costumes, and that may fly in other subreddits, but not here. We want to keep this subreddit as kid friendly as possible, so please keep your cosplay convention friendly.
To give a more detailed example, cosplays like Succubus Marin from My Dress-Up Darling, Rebecca from Cyberpunk, and Daki from Demon Slayer are not allowed, even though their costumes are canonically NSFW.
Cosplays much cover your crotch, behind, and at minimum most of your chest. Some cleavage is okay, but side cleavage and under cleavage are not allowed. We understand that those who are more endowed tend to be judged harsher for being NSFW more than those who are small-chested, but we will do our best to judge equally.
We do not allow swimsuits, bunny suits, or lingerie cosplays.
Please keep your poses non-sexual. This is not a NSFW subreddit, so don’t make it one. We will remove posts if the focal point of the photos is of the chest, crotch, or backside. If possible, choose photos that showcase most, if not all, of your cosplay.
Do not sexualize characters that are minors. This means no crotch shots or cleavage pics of Nezuko from Demon Slayer or Misty from Pokémon. Even though these characters are fictional and the cosplayer is clearly an adult, the characters are children.
Rule #3 No OF Promotions.
Please keep OF Promotions to their respective subreddits. We do not allow that here. And yes, “Have you seen my other pics 😏🌶 💦🤤” counts as a promotion. We’re not stupid. This applies to both posts, links, and comments.
OF Promotions will result in a permanent ban.
Rule #4 No Posts Where You Are Not the Cosplayer, Photographer, Prop Maker, or Otherwise Involved.
We want to make sure that those who deserve credit get credit, so please, be respectful and don’t karma farm. Crossposts are not allowed. Please post your own content.
We used to allow crossposts at the start, but that was to help get the subreddit rolling. Now that we have a lot more members, we have decided to remove the rule allowing crossposts.
Rule #5 No Spamming or Selling.
We really appreciate everyone who has been posting their creations and cosplays! You guys have helped us so much and we are so grateful for you!
To help prevent spamming within the subreddit, we ask that you keep your posts to once a day. If you have multiple photos from one photoshoot, please try to compile them into one post.
If you have pictures of one cosplay from 2 or more different photoshoot sessions, it’s absolutely alright to post more pics of that cosplay, but just try your best to keep each photoshoot session in its own post. For example, we just don’t want to see a new photo of Yor from Spy x Family, done by the same cosplayer, for 40 days straight.
We don’t accept selling of any kind here. So, no Etsy Shop or Commission promotions.
Lastly, if you see someone breaking the rules, please report it! It helps us mods so much. Unfortunately, we can’t be on the subreddit 24/7, so sometimes things sneak through, but by reporting posts and comments, it helps us remove them faster.
Thank you all again for supporting CosplaySFW! If you have any questions, please feel free to message us.
The Modteam
submitted by Time_Traveling_Nerd to CosplaySFW [link] [comments]
With the sudden increase in members, we, as a Modteam, just wanted to clarify the Subreddit’s rules, as there is a limited number of characters in the rules section, and we want to make sure everyone is on the same page.
Rule #1 Be Kind.
We want this subreddit to feel like a safe place for everyone to post their cosplays and creations. We ask that you refrain from comments that judge someone’s body, progress, or creations negatively. We want to avoid hurting feelings and anything that would discourage someone from ever cosplaying again.
We will not tolerate comments that are racist, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, fatphobic, or insult the way someone may look in any way, shape, or form. Please don’t tell someone that they can’t cosplay a character because they don’t naturally look like them. Cosplay is for everyone, and everyone is allowed to cosplay anyone they want.
Remember that we are all humans that have feelings.
If you wish to receive constructive criticism for your creations or cosplays, please feel free to list “Constructive criticism welcome” in the title of your post so others know it’s okay.
Rule #2 No NSFW Content.
As the rule states, no lewd, pornographic, boudoir, or suggestive content is allowed.
We want to keep this subreddit PG-13. We realize that some canon characters can have very NSFW costumes, and that may fly in other subreddits, but not here. We want to keep this subreddit as kid friendly as possible, so please keep your cosplay convention friendly.
To give a more detailed example, cosplays like Succubus Marin from My Dress-Up Darling, Rebecca from Cyberpunk, and Daki from Demon Slayer are not allowed, even though their costumes are canonically NSFW.
Cosplays much cover your crotch, behind, and at minimum most of your chest. Some cleavage is okay, but side cleavage and under cleavage are not allowed. We understand that those who are more endowed tend to be judged harsher for being NSFW more than those who are small-chested, but we will do our best to judge equally.
We do not allow swimsuits, bunny suits, or lingerie cosplays.
Please keep your poses non-sexual. This is not a NSFW subreddit, so don’t make it one. We will remove posts if the focal point of the photos is of the chest, crotch, or backside. If possible, choose photos that showcase most, if not all, of your cosplay.
Do not sexualize characters that are minors. This means no crotch shots or cleavage pics of Nezuko from Demon Slayer or Misty from Pokémon. Even though these characters are fictional and the cosplayer is clearly an adult, the characters are children.
Rule #3 No OF Promotions.
Please keep OF Promotions to their respective subreddits. We do not allow that here. And yes, “Have you seen my other pics 😏🌶 💦🤤” counts as a promotion. We’re not stupid. This applies to both posts, links, and comments.
OF Promotions will result in a permanent ban.
Rule #4 No Posts Where You Are Not the Cosplayer, Photographer, Prop Maker, or Otherwise Involved.
We want to make sure that those who deserve credit get credit, so please, be respectful and don’t karma farm. Crossposts are not allowed. Please post your own content.
We used to allow crossposts at the start, but that was to help get the subreddit rolling. Now that we have a lot more members, we have decided to remove the rule allowing crossposts.
Rule #5 No Spamming or Selling.
We really appreciate everyone who has been posting their creations and cosplays! You guys have helped us so much and we are so grateful for you!
To help prevent spamming within the subreddit, we ask that you keep your posts to once a day. If you have multiple photos from one photoshoot, please try to compile them into one post.
If you have pictures of one cosplay from 2 or more different photoshoot sessions, it’s absolutely alright to post more pics of that cosplay, but just try your best to keep each photoshoot session in its own post. For example, we just don’t want to see a new photo of Yor from Spy x Family, done by the same cosplayer, for 40 days straight.
We don’t accept selling of any kind here. So, no Etsy Shop or Commission promotions.
Lastly, if you see someone breaking the rules, please report it! It helps us mods so much. Unfortunately, we can’t be on the subreddit 24/7, so sometimes things sneak through, but by reporting posts and comments, it helps us remove them faster.
Thank you all again for supporting CosplaySFW! If you have any questions, please feel free to message us.
The Modteam
2023.03.05 03:04 plant_person_09345 How to search for wedding tops?
I’m thinking of doing wedding separates- a bodysuit with a skirt. I think it’d be much more flattering on me and I know I definitely want a silk a-line bottom, so it makes searching for a top easier. I’m also looking to keep cost down, so I’m looking for any lacy tops/bodysuits that would look good.
However, when I search for lace bodysuit- I get lingerie. Not what I want. I’m looking for something that covers most of my back and has thick straps- more blouse like coverage wise.
What search terms should I use? What are some good shops that have tops <$700?
https://www.etsy.com/listing/972551012/bridal-bodysuit-wedding-bodysuit-lace?ref=share_v4_lx
submitted by plant_person_09345 to weddingdress [link] [comments]
However, when I search for lace bodysuit- I get lingerie. Not what I want. I’m looking for something that covers most of my back and has thick straps- more blouse like coverage wise.
What search terms should I use? What are some good shops that have tops <$700?
https://www.etsy.com/listing/972551012/bridal-bodysuit-wedding-bodysuit-lace?ref=share_v4_lx
2023.03.02 20:10 Past_Investigator888 Recommendations for pretty but semi-affordable lingerie?
I’ve been trying to find really pretty, lacy, princess-y lingerie in a light colour — especially babydolls, garter belts, and matching sets. But so far I’ve exhausted all my local options and have had trouble finding stores online. I looked on Etsy but a lot of the options in my price range are clearly dropshipped/stolen pictures. Does anyone have recommendations for that follow the soft, dreamy and feminine aesthetic that aren’t too pricey? Hoping for $50-75 total for a few pieces (eg bra, bottoms and garter incl) but maybe that’s too optimistic lol.
submitted by Past_Investigator888 to LingerieAddiction [link] [comments]
2023.02.28 11:09 queenkransen Elastic lace suppliers
Hi!
I'm looking into starting a small business making and selling lace lingerie and I'm looking for a reliable supplier for black elastic lace trim. I'd prefer a source that offers Oeko tex standard 100, or similar certificate. Been buying from Etsy but wish to come closer to the source to be able to establish connections. Where do I start looking in order to get this going?
Any tips, suggestions or information regarding this and the like would be highly appreciated!
love from Sweden:)
submitted by queenkransen to Fabrics [link] [comments]
I'm looking into starting a small business making and selling lace lingerie and I'm looking for a reliable supplier for black elastic lace trim. I'd prefer a source that offers Oeko tex standard 100, or similar certificate. Been buying from Etsy but wish to come closer to the source to be able to establish connections. Where do I start looking in order to get this going?
Any tips, suggestions or information regarding this and the like would be highly appreciated!
love from Sweden:)
2023.02.27 16:25 buxombabee Business refuses to credit me unless I tell them to & this is not the first time I’ve had to ask them.
A lingerie company today posted a video of me, although my face has been cut out of the video, wearing two of their products. I was not tagged or credited in the post until after I told them to give me credit.
They’re excuse was: ‘we couldn’t find your account to give you credit.’ yet posted it anyway.
The items in the videos were not gifted, I bought them outright a few years ago. I tagged them in the posts when I got the items but never specifically stated they could use my content over & over to promote their business.
This is not the first time they have done this either. I have DMs still saved from the previous times they’ve done this where I had to ask them to tag me in posts. They uploaded my photos to their Etsy page, Instagram & Twitter without consent & gave no credit.
I have emailed the company asking for their legal team to contact me regarding all the times I’ve been posted, not tagged or credited for my work - as of posting this I am still waiting for a response from the company.
IMO - it’s my work, I feature in it, I’m not asked or paid to be posted on their socials. I am the legal copyright holder of videos that contain me so common courtesy to me is to ask me if they can post my content which they won’t & never have done.
If they continue to post me, what legal rights do I have?
Note - I haven’t signed any paperwork or been paid for any of the posts where I am visible (even if they cut my head off).
EDIT - I am from England & the company is also based within the U.K.
submitted by buxombabee to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]
They’re excuse was: ‘we couldn’t find your account to give you credit.’ yet posted it anyway.
The items in the videos were not gifted, I bought them outright a few years ago. I tagged them in the posts when I got the items but never specifically stated they could use my content over & over to promote their business.
This is not the first time they have done this either. I have DMs still saved from the previous times they’ve done this where I had to ask them to tag me in posts. They uploaded my photos to their Etsy page, Instagram & Twitter without consent & gave no credit.
I have emailed the company asking for their legal team to contact me regarding all the times I’ve been posted, not tagged or credited for my work - as of posting this I am still waiting for a response from the company.
IMO - it’s my work, I feature in it, I’m not asked or paid to be posted on their socials. I am the legal copyright holder of videos that contain me so common courtesy to me is to ask me if they can post my content which they won’t & never have done.
If they continue to post me, what legal rights do I have?
Note - I haven’t signed any paperwork or been paid for any of the posts where I am visible (even if they cut my head off).
EDIT - I am from England & the company is also based within the U.K.
2023.02.27 16:20 buxombabee Business uses my content to market their products, yet give me excuses as to why they won’t give me credit/tag me in posts
A lingerie company today posted a video of me, although my face has been cut out of the video, wearing two of their products. I was not tagged or credited in the post until after I told them to give me credit.
They’re excuse was: ‘we couldn’t find your account to give you credit.’ yet posted it anyway.
The items in the videos were not gifted, I bought them outright a few years ago. I tagged them in the posts when I got the items but never specifically stated they could use my content over & over to promote their business.
This is not the first time they have done this either. I have DMs still saved from the previous times they’ve done this where I had to ask them to tag me in posts. They uploaded my photos to their Etsy page, Instagram & Twitter without consent & gave no credit.
I have emailed the company asking for their legal team to contact me regarding all the times I’ve been posted, not tagged or credited for my work - as of posting this I am still waiting for a response from the company.
IMO - it’s my work, I feature in it, I’m not asked or paid to be posted on their socials. I am the legal copyright holder of videos that contain me so common courtesy to me is to ask me if they can post my content which they won’t & never have done.
If they continue to post me, what legal rights do I have?
Note - I haven’t signed any paperwork or been paid for any of the posts where I am visible (even if they cut my head off).
EDIT - I am from the U.K. & the company is also based in the U.K.
submitted by buxombabee to legaladvice [link] [comments]
They’re excuse was: ‘we couldn’t find your account to give you credit.’ yet posted it anyway.
The items in the videos were not gifted, I bought them outright a few years ago. I tagged them in the posts when I got the items but never specifically stated they could use my content over & over to promote their business.
This is not the first time they have done this either. I have DMs still saved from the previous times they’ve done this where I had to ask them to tag me in posts. They uploaded my photos to their Etsy page, Instagram & Twitter without consent & gave no credit.
I have emailed the company asking for their legal team to contact me regarding all the times I’ve been posted, not tagged or credited for my work - as of posting this I am still waiting for a response from the company.
IMO - it’s my work, I feature in it, I’m not asked or paid to be posted on their socials. I am the legal copyright holder of videos that contain me so common courtesy to me is to ask me if they can post my content which they won’t & never have done.
If they continue to post me, what legal rights do I have?
Note - I haven’t signed any paperwork or been paid for any of the posts where I am visible (even if they cut my head off).
EDIT - I am from the U.K. & the company is also based in the U.K.
2023.02.23 07:38 Wilde__ For those who have tried Leo Lines, review and seeking suggestions.
My opinion on Leo Lines: For reference, I purchased a few pairs of the cotton thongs. The price is fine, I would be willing to spend more if the product was worth it but for me, these are adequately priced and a good place to start. The lack of bulge when wearing leggings or sweat pants is nice but the padding in the front is a bit thick and visible with something like lululemon. The trimming isn't ideal either and is a bit uncomfortable, for me at least but maybe my skin is a bit sensitive. Overall, I would purchase again if I didn't have a better option. With that out of the way.
Is there a better seller of mtf underwear?
Is there a way to make them more comfortable or did you feel like you got accustomed to the lining?
As an aside, Etsy decided to start recommending me sissy related items and lingerie "for men". So thanks Etsy, feels great.
submitted by Wilde__ to transfashionadvice [link] [comments]
Is there a better seller of mtf underwear?
Is there a way to make them more comfortable or did you feel like you got accustomed to the lining?
As an aside, Etsy decided to start recommending me sissy related items and lingerie "for men". So thanks Etsy, feels great.
2023.02.23 01:38 fractalfay I hear a different drummer drumming: recap of 90DF The Other Way S04E03
Jeymi can’t believe that after waiting a year she’s finally going to be reunited with Kris, and she giddily hops up and down as Kris walks through the gates wearing an outfit somehow assembled in an airplane bathroom. They kiss each other hello and cry.
“She seemed taller online!” Kris announces.
“I was inside a tiny box?” Jeymi shares our questions.
They take a cab to the apartment Jeymi rented, after Kris requested they share a more modern space. It’s $100 more than Kris’ preferred budget, and she worries that in person it will be even shorter than Jeymi. These anxiety tokens were unnecessarily spent, since Kris approves, and Jeymi introduces her to their bedroom which comes with its own set of tit-pillows.
“Oh my gawd!” Kris declares. “Did you pull these off a giant woman?”
Before Jeymi goes and gets too comfortable on that lounging-titty, Kris reminds her of the hazards of narcolepsy, which might concern her dog.
“Have you seen Yellowjackets?” Kris begins. “It did not work out so well for Biscuit.”
Jeymi has not, but she has seen Cobra Kai, and decides narcolepsy does not exist in this dojo. Instead she kicks off the lingerie competition with an introduction to her swaying mammaries, and a request that the oggling camera crew promptly get the fuck out.
“Really?” The crew is miffed for some reason, as they were promised a performance ideal for cringe television.
“Please, do not let that doctor touch your breasts!” Michael shouts as they’re shoved from the room.
Jen’s Amazon Affiliate account has been approved, and right out the gate she’s committed to selling a shitload of Tach-lite luggage.
“I dunno,” Jen’s brother Charles, aka DJ Doubtfire is on the decks! “She should have gone with the Tach-3. That’s the set with the hard shell. It clamps. She’s got a lot of faith in that velcro. I don’t trust it.”
Before Jen can zip and velcro all three into a suitcase choo-choo train, she shows off a wrinkly yellow garment. “It’s my mom’s wedding dress from 1971,” she explains. “People smoked indoors back then. I want to include it in the wedding somehow, cause it’s special.” Then Jen crushes it into a ball and crams it into the front zipper pocket.
Jen’s nerves continue to strobe as she apologies for an enviable leather sidebelt she could sell on Etsy in seconds with a “festival-wear” tag, and reminds us that her family believes she has the endurance capabilities of a toddler.
“I’m not sure why they’re planning on a nervous breakdown, when those things are best left to surprise,” Jen says. “If I run into Jenny and she throws a chair I’ll just deflect it like I was trained at Waffle House. Everyone else will assume I’m armed.“
“I’m counting on her holding the position of family fuck-up no matter how far away she is,” Brother-hater reporting for shit-talk. “That way I’ll be a hero so long as I have a truck and flush the toilet, and no one will wonder why I still live with my mom. Jen’s sacrificing a lot more than she knows. Like her childhood bedroom, which is now mine.”
Charles makes Jen needing them inevitable, and a consequence of decisions. Jen says she’s ‘afraid they’re going to need me,’ which suggests something unexpected could happen, and circumstances will make it impossible for her to act. This concludes my Ted Talk on how two people can essentially communicate the same thing with far different results.
“Language doesn’t matter,” Charles tells me to go fuck myself.
Jen smokes the crew in airport security, and they’re forced to piece together random airport shots following some elderly woman and her rolling bag, aka this week’s Extra! Extra! After landing Jen heads for a hotel to sleep off the coach-seat hangover, with plans to finish her journey to Rishi’s House of Hair-Worship the next day.
Rishi has been man of the house since his father died, which means now he’s the first one to ask when dinner will be ready. The family wonders why a camera crew is following him around, and why his mother has been tasked with waving a cell phone she promises is packed with marriage proposals while everyone else is busy eating. Rishi reports that Jen has been a touch sensitive about his mother arranging a marriage for him in the middle of their engagement, but mom is sick to death of doing housework, and no one else has hands, except sister Priyanka, who is married and therefore busy being a domestic servant elsewhere. Rishi knows he’s going to have to tell them eventually, and hopes that Jen will be patient when he breaks the news to her that it’s either life in hiding, or taking on half of the chore wheel.
Isabel is excited about Gabe’s arrival, and meets up with her LGBTQ+ friends Samuel and Mateo. They ask her about THE SEX, and Isabel says his package is dicktastic, and her orgasm is the same, but she remains perplexed about the origin of his mystery semen, and other things that could be resolved with a simply set of questions.
“If only someone would remember me,” Google has been lonely lately.
Isabel reminds them that she hasn’t told Miguel, but she’s not too worried, since she raised him with respect for diversity, and they suggest it could still be different once he directly confronts it. They ask about her parents, and Isabel says her mom will likely stare into the void for a few weepy minutes, and dad will provide the family tantrum the cameras are there to record.
Gabriel’s sister takes Gabe to the airport, which she confuses for an unescapable hell mouth until Gabe assures her he can return. She promises to sniff out any suspicious behavior, no matter the distance, and is not above plotting an international ass-whooping.
“I’m going to miss Gabriel, waking him up at 8AM, getting in his business…” Sis understands the Sibling Code of Ethics, and just has to trust she’ll map a way to meddle to the edge of annoyance from afar.
“I prefer premature disappointment,” Charles reminds us.
Nicole’s wrangling endless errors thanks to the dipshittery of OS 16, so her human-handlers are imported from Idaho to convince us she doesn’t have an exoskeleton. Jen apologized for her belt, but Nicole remains stubbornly silent as she parades in a monochrome outfit she scored from the Newsies set and dyed a fetching shade of baby-poo brown.
“I don’t know why Mahmoud thinks he’s going to be able to control her fashion,” Dad frets. “We did everything we could.”
“Have you seen Oliver?” Mom has a different movie in mind.
Dad would prefer if she were moving closer to Idaho than to a different continent, and tries to woo her with promises that state legislators believe Idaho’s border can be adjusted if they all agree that maps are lying.
“I don’t know anything about Egypt,” dad admits.
“Same,” Nicole agrees.
“Yes, but you have been there before, right?” Dad tries.
“Right…” Nicole really wishes she could reboot already.
Dad reports that he learned Small Wonder’s time as single expired courtesy of Facebook, when it accidentally appeared in his conspiracy feed. Nicole tells them that technically she got married twice, once in a courthouse and a second time the Islamic way, when they crashed someone else’s wedding to stutter into a microphone. Before this could happen she was required to convert, which Mahmoud assured her was exactly as complicated as grace before dinner, and Nicole wants any children they have to be born into a shared family religion so they can all wear matching hats.
“Wait, you’re having children? With whose body?” Mom reminds us why her mouth just stays open.
“Then I found out that this religion has rules,” Nicole’s new to earth. “I don’t follow their dietary restrictions, cover my hair, read the Qu’ran, pray five times a day, or remember any of the other details. But I am Muslim. I think.”
“Why are you moving there again?” Mom asks this a lot.
Nicole is adamant that she will never wear a hijab again, which makes her worry this won’t work, since religion is so important to Mahmoud, and fashion is so important to Nicole.
“But have you ever delivered for GrubHub?” Nicole makes a strong case. “Compare that to the textile store you’re about to see and you’ll understand why I’m throwing things in boxes.”
Mahmoud manages a fabric store filled with woven miracles, and he admires a lot of things about Nicole he hopes to change. Mahmoud says that he simply can’t stop loving her, despite palpable cultural differences and her devotion to neutral tones. He meets up with his two much-older brothers to discuss reverting her operating system back to something better suited for 2,000 years ago, and they have the same conversation we’ve seen every season of this show since Arabic Grifter joined Eastern European Gold-Digger and Spicy Deceptive Latinx on the 90DF stereotype list.
“It makes a lot of sense that I chose a non-Muslim American to be my devout Muslim bride,” Mahmoud recites his lines.
“Me done,” Memphis has had it.
On launch-day the parents drive Nicole to the airport so she can fly towards the life she doesn’t want dressed like a French box of wine, and the pilot gets confused and makes her leave the beret on the tarmac. After 15 hours in the air she turns the corner and greets Mahmoud, and they awkwardly clang bodies together while Nicole frets this will result in jail time. Mahmoud worries she won’t stay this time, which baffles Nicole for reasons known only to OS 16, and then he asks her to close her jacket because her lightning port is hanging out.
“I was hoping this kind of stuff wouldn’t start the minute I landed,” Nicole protests.
“But the minute you landed, you were in Egypt,” Mahmoud tries, and the groundwork has been laid for the first round of the same fight slated to take place the next ten episodes.
For two straight episodes 90DF has been burying the lead, but they simply cannot contain Debbie any longer. She’s 67 and has represented Georgia in the the Thrift Store Olympics ten years in a row, and loves the opportunity to wander the aisles and play pretend.
“I hear a different drummer drumming?” Debbie’s been doing bong rips of the good shit since Jen’s mom wore that dress wad.
Her house looks remarkably similar to the thrift store she just toured, with ornately carved room dividers, treasure chests, endless antiques, and tons of semi-precious jewelry she’s fashioned from quartz and other stones dug from quarries. Debbie also paints in a whimsical illustrator style, and hangs her creations on every uncovered wall.
“Painting is my friend. It never lets me down!” Debbie’s beam of magic scorches the crusty edges of my black heart.
Debbie’s mom had mental health issues, and so she was raised with no sense of stability. She’s spent much of her life smoking hot, and has been married twice, starting with a womanizer who fathered her son, Julian.
“You think you’re getting Prince Charming, but you could be getting the Big Bad Wolf,” Debbie writes another bumpersticker.
She was married to hubby #2 for 23 years, and they had a kid named Sandy, and they survived 80s haircuts and 110 cameras together. Then he started acting funny, so she hired a PI who discovered he had a second life and an international side-piece. Debbie got divorced and swore off men for 12 years. Then a 24 year-old named Osama from Morocco dropped into her Facebook messages to thank her for not deleting her account, to compliment her art, and to declare himself an artist when he wears this fedora, and a poet when he adds a scarf. After a few months of talking Debbie traveled to Morocco to visit him and they clicked.
“He’s like a tree who takes root in your heart,” Debbie says. “And it gets really awkward when branches shoot out of your mouth. But I love him!”
Osama proposed, Debbie said yes, and now she’s taking a shitload of vitamins to reverse the aging process, which is cheaper than injecting them in your face. In two short weeks she’s leaving, which isn’t going over well with her son Julian, who is a cop. Julian’s seen this show, and wishes his mom would pause a moment to consider why a 24 year-old Moroccan perp might propose to an elderly American. He makes his case while seated on one of the two greatest couches in the history of furniture, and Debbie sits on the other one.
“Young, lives in a third-world country, has no job,” Julian writes a compelling personal ad. “This has to be a catfish situation.”
“I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck,” Debbie believes this is reassurance.
“It sure seems like you just fell off the turnip truck,” Julian weighs the evidence.
“Well I wish you’d get on board the turnip truck so you could see what a fun ride it is!” Debbie insists, while Julian promises to dig until he finds the dirt, and once he does he’s wearing mirrored glasses for the remainder of the season.
Debbie could carry the season with no help at all, but production already had Daniele under contract, so here she comes with her concerns that Yohan’s butcher shop doesn’t have the economic potential of online yoga classes led by someone who has yet to yoga on camera.
“I believe I will accept that my butcher shop is a failure when I close it to move to America,” Yohan reads ahead.
Daniele thinks she’s sacrificed a lot that Yohan didn’t ask her to sacrifice to be with him, so if he wants to stay in this relationship he’s going to have to change the economy of the Dominican Republic. They go to look at apartments, and her demand-list for the ancestors includes two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a pool, a terrace, and parking.
“So soon she has forgotten about the mangoes!” The ancestors need her to stop revising.
They look at a spot in a building inhabited by other ex-pats, with a price tag of 191,000 pesos, or $2,000 a month. Daniele inquires about Yohan’s planned contribution, and he reports a willingness to provide 5,000 pesos, or one sacrificed breakfast.
Daniele says that if she’s the breadwinner that makes him her wife, and she wants to know if he’s going to cook for her or something, since she’s going to be very busy working at home while he’s working somewhere else. Yohan believes it’s a gift to cook for your husband, and that equality begins as he’s eating it, but if she insists they can probably get Rishi’s mother to move in, since cooking for two people is easier than cooking for six.
“Emasculation should work here,” Daniele waves her hands around, but forgets her wand.
“You also thought manifesting would work,” Yohan knows THE SECRET, and so they agree to look at other apartments until they find one that doesn’t consider Daniele’s debt load.
NEXT TIME: Julian takes Debbie to meet the person about to freeze her assets, Kris has more medical problems that sound like escape clauses to Jeymi, Isabel is uneasy about Gabriel’s determination to share his trans status, Jen realizes Rishi’s late because he’s been busy meeting potential wives, and Nicole demands to know how Egypt is still the same when she arrived on a completely different plane.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!
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“She seemed taller online!” Kris announces.
“I was inside a tiny box?” Jeymi shares our questions.
They take a cab to the apartment Jeymi rented, after Kris requested they share a more modern space. It’s $100 more than Kris’ preferred budget, and she worries that in person it will be even shorter than Jeymi. These anxiety tokens were unnecessarily spent, since Kris approves, and Jeymi introduces her to their bedroom which comes with its own set of tit-pillows.
“Oh my gawd!” Kris declares. “Did you pull these off a giant woman?”
Before Jeymi goes and gets too comfortable on that lounging-titty, Kris reminds her of the hazards of narcolepsy, which might concern her dog.
“Have you seen Yellowjackets?” Kris begins. “It did not work out so well for Biscuit.”
Jeymi has not, but she has seen Cobra Kai, and decides narcolepsy does not exist in this dojo. Instead she kicks off the lingerie competition with an introduction to her swaying mammaries, and a request that the oggling camera crew promptly get the fuck out.
“Really?” The crew is miffed for some reason, as they were promised a performance ideal for cringe television.
“Please, do not let that doctor touch your breasts!” Michael shouts as they’re shoved from the room.
Jen’s Amazon Affiliate account has been approved, and right out the gate she’s committed to selling a shitload of Tach-lite luggage.
“I dunno,” Jen’s brother Charles, aka DJ Doubtfire is on the decks! “She should have gone with the Tach-3. That’s the set with the hard shell. It clamps. She’s got a lot of faith in that velcro. I don’t trust it.”
Before Jen can zip and velcro all three into a suitcase choo-choo train, she shows off a wrinkly yellow garment. “It’s my mom’s wedding dress from 1971,” she explains. “People smoked indoors back then. I want to include it in the wedding somehow, cause it’s special.” Then Jen crushes it into a ball and crams it into the front zipper pocket.
Jen’s nerves continue to strobe as she apologies for an enviable leather sidebelt she could sell on Etsy in seconds with a “festival-wear” tag, and reminds us that her family believes she has the endurance capabilities of a toddler.
“I’m not sure why they’re planning on a nervous breakdown, when those things are best left to surprise,” Jen says. “If I run into Jenny and she throws a chair I’ll just deflect it like I was trained at Waffle House. Everyone else will assume I’m armed.“
“I’m counting on her holding the position of family fuck-up no matter how far away she is,” Brother-hater reporting for shit-talk. “That way I’ll be a hero so long as I have a truck and flush the toilet, and no one will wonder why I still live with my mom. Jen’s sacrificing a lot more than she knows. Like her childhood bedroom, which is now mine.”
Charles makes Jen needing them inevitable, and a consequence of decisions. Jen says she’s ‘afraid they’re going to need me,’ which suggests something unexpected could happen, and circumstances will make it impossible for her to act. This concludes my Ted Talk on how two people can essentially communicate the same thing with far different results.
“Language doesn’t matter,” Charles tells me to go fuck myself.
Jen smokes the crew in airport security, and they’re forced to piece together random airport shots following some elderly woman and her rolling bag, aka this week’s Extra! Extra! After landing Jen heads for a hotel to sleep off the coach-seat hangover, with plans to finish her journey to Rishi’s House of Hair-Worship the next day.
Rishi has been man of the house since his father died, which means now he’s the first one to ask when dinner will be ready. The family wonders why a camera crew is following him around, and why his mother has been tasked with waving a cell phone she promises is packed with marriage proposals while everyone else is busy eating. Rishi reports that Jen has been a touch sensitive about his mother arranging a marriage for him in the middle of their engagement, but mom is sick to death of doing housework, and no one else has hands, except sister Priyanka, who is married and therefore busy being a domestic servant elsewhere. Rishi knows he’s going to have to tell them eventually, and hopes that Jen will be patient when he breaks the news to her that it’s either life in hiding, or taking on half of the chore wheel.
Isabel is excited about Gabe’s arrival, and meets up with her LGBTQ+ friends Samuel and Mateo. They ask her about THE SEX, and Isabel says his package is dicktastic, and her orgasm is the same, but she remains perplexed about the origin of his mystery semen, and other things that could be resolved with a simply set of questions.
“If only someone would remember me,” Google has been lonely lately.
Isabel reminds them that she hasn’t told Miguel, but she’s not too worried, since she raised him with respect for diversity, and they suggest it could still be different once he directly confronts it. They ask about her parents, and Isabel says her mom will likely stare into the void for a few weepy minutes, and dad will provide the family tantrum the cameras are there to record.
Gabriel’s sister takes Gabe to the airport, which she confuses for an unescapable hell mouth until Gabe assures her he can return. She promises to sniff out any suspicious behavior, no matter the distance, and is not above plotting an international ass-whooping.
“I’m going to miss Gabriel, waking him up at 8AM, getting in his business…” Sis understands the Sibling Code of Ethics, and just has to trust she’ll map a way to meddle to the edge of annoyance from afar.
“I prefer premature disappointment,” Charles reminds us.
Nicole’s wrangling endless errors thanks to the dipshittery of OS 16, so her human-handlers are imported from Idaho to convince us she doesn’t have an exoskeleton. Jen apologized for her belt, but Nicole remains stubbornly silent as she parades in a monochrome outfit she scored from the Newsies set and dyed a fetching shade of baby-poo brown.
“I don’t know why Mahmoud thinks he’s going to be able to control her fashion,” Dad frets. “We did everything we could.”
“Have you seen Oliver?” Mom has a different movie in mind.
Dad would prefer if she were moving closer to Idaho than to a different continent, and tries to woo her with promises that state legislators believe Idaho’s border can be adjusted if they all agree that maps are lying.
“I don’t know anything about Egypt,” dad admits.
“Same,” Nicole agrees.
“Yes, but you have been there before, right?” Dad tries.
“Right…” Nicole really wishes she could reboot already.
Dad reports that he learned Small Wonder’s time as single expired courtesy of Facebook, when it accidentally appeared in his conspiracy feed. Nicole tells them that technically she got married twice, once in a courthouse and a second time the Islamic way, when they crashed someone else’s wedding to stutter into a microphone. Before this could happen she was required to convert, which Mahmoud assured her was exactly as complicated as grace before dinner, and Nicole wants any children they have to be born into a shared family religion so they can all wear matching hats.
“Wait, you’re having children? With whose body?” Mom reminds us why her mouth just stays open.
“Then I found out that this religion has rules,” Nicole’s new to earth. “I don’t follow their dietary restrictions, cover my hair, read the Qu’ran, pray five times a day, or remember any of the other details. But I am Muslim. I think.”
“Why are you moving there again?” Mom asks this a lot.
Nicole is adamant that she will never wear a hijab again, which makes her worry this won’t work, since religion is so important to Mahmoud, and fashion is so important to Nicole.
“But have you ever delivered for GrubHub?” Nicole makes a strong case. “Compare that to the textile store you’re about to see and you’ll understand why I’m throwing things in boxes.”
Mahmoud manages a fabric store filled with woven miracles, and he admires a lot of things about Nicole he hopes to change. Mahmoud says that he simply can’t stop loving her, despite palpable cultural differences and her devotion to neutral tones. He meets up with his two much-older brothers to discuss reverting her operating system back to something better suited for 2,000 years ago, and they have the same conversation we’ve seen every season of this show since Arabic Grifter joined Eastern European Gold-Digger and Spicy Deceptive Latinx on the 90DF stereotype list.
“It makes a lot of sense that I chose a non-Muslim American to be my devout Muslim bride,” Mahmoud recites his lines.
“Me done,” Memphis has had it.
On launch-day the parents drive Nicole to the airport so she can fly towards the life she doesn’t want dressed like a French box of wine, and the pilot gets confused and makes her leave the beret on the tarmac. After 15 hours in the air she turns the corner and greets Mahmoud, and they awkwardly clang bodies together while Nicole frets this will result in jail time. Mahmoud worries she won’t stay this time, which baffles Nicole for reasons known only to OS 16, and then he asks her to close her jacket because her lightning port is hanging out.
“I was hoping this kind of stuff wouldn’t start the minute I landed,” Nicole protests.
“But the minute you landed, you were in Egypt,” Mahmoud tries, and the groundwork has been laid for the first round of the same fight slated to take place the next ten episodes.
For two straight episodes 90DF has been burying the lead, but they simply cannot contain Debbie any longer. She’s 67 and has represented Georgia in the the Thrift Store Olympics ten years in a row, and loves the opportunity to wander the aisles and play pretend.
“I hear a different drummer drumming?” Debbie’s been doing bong rips of the good shit since Jen’s mom wore that dress wad.
Her house looks remarkably similar to the thrift store she just toured, with ornately carved room dividers, treasure chests, endless antiques, and tons of semi-precious jewelry she’s fashioned from quartz and other stones dug from quarries. Debbie also paints in a whimsical illustrator style, and hangs her creations on every uncovered wall.
“Painting is my friend. It never lets me down!” Debbie’s beam of magic scorches the crusty edges of my black heart.
Debbie’s mom had mental health issues, and so she was raised with no sense of stability. She’s spent much of her life smoking hot, and has been married twice, starting with a womanizer who fathered her son, Julian.
“You think you’re getting Prince Charming, but you could be getting the Big Bad Wolf,” Debbie writes another bumpersticker.
She was married to hubby #2 for 23 years, and they had a kid named Sandy, and they survived 80s haircuts and 110 cameras together. Then he started acting funny, so she hired a PI who discovered he had a second life and an international side-piece. Debbie got divorced and swore off men for 12 years. Then a 24 year-old named Osama from Morocco dropped into her Facebook messages to thank her for not deleting her account, to compliment her art, and to declare himself an artist when he wears this fedora, and a poet when he adds a scarf. After a few months of talking Debbie traveled to Morocco to visit him and they clicked.
“He’s like a tree who takes root in your heart,” Debbie says. “And it gets really awkward when branches shoot out of your mouth. But I love him!”
Osama proposed, Debbie said yes, and now she’s taking a shitload of vitamins to reverse the aging process, which is cheaper than injecting them in your face. In two short weeks she’s leaving, which isn’t going over well with her son Julian, who is a cop. Julian’s seen this show, and wishes his mom would pause a moment to consider why a 24 year-old Moroccan perp might propose to an elderly American. He makes his case while seated on one of the two greatest couches in the history of furniture, and Debbie sits on the other one.
“Young, lives in a third-world country, has no job,” Julian writes a compelling personal ad. “This has to be a catfish situation.”
“I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck,” Debbie believes this is reassurance.
“It sure seems like you just fell off the turnip truck,” Julian weighs the evidence.
“Well I wish you’d get on board the turnip truck so you could see what a fun ride it is!” Debbie insists, while Julian promises to dig until he finds the dirt, and once he does he’s wearing mirrored glasses for the remainder of the season.
Debbie could carry the season with no help at all, but production already had Daniele under contract, so here she comes with her concerns that Yohan’s butcher shop doesn’t have the economic potential of online yoga classes led by someone who has yet to yoga on camera.
“I believe I will accept that my butcher shop is a failure when I close it to move to America,” Yohan reads ahead.
Daniele thinks she’s sacrificed a lot that Yohan didn’t ask her to sacrifice to be with him, so if he wants to stay in this relationship he’s going to have to change the economy of the Dominican Republic. They go to look at apartments, and her demand-list for the ancestors includes two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a pool, a terrace, and parking.
“So soon she has forgotten about the mangoes!” The ancestors need her to stop revising.
They look at a spot in a building inhabited by other ex-pats, with a price tag of 191,000 pesos, or $2,000 a month. Daniele inquires about Yohan’s planned contribution, and he reports a willingness to provide 5,000 pesos, or one sacrificed breakfast.
Daniele says that if she’s the breadwinner that makes him her wife, and she wants to know if he’s going to cook for her or something, since she’s going to be very busy working at home while he’s working somewhere else. Yohan believes it’s a gift to cook for your husband, and that equality begins as he’s eating it, but if she insists they can probably get Rishi’s mother to move in, since cooking for two people is easier than cooking for six.
“Emasculation should work here,” Daniele waves her hands around, but forgets her wand.
“You also thought manifesting would work,” Yohan knows THE SECRET, and so they agree to look at other apartments until they find one that doesn’t consider Daniele’s debt load.
NEXT TIME: Julian takes Debbie to meet the person about to freeze her assets, Kris has more medical problems that sound like escape clauses to Jeymi, Isabel is uneasy about Gabriel’s determination to share his trans status, Jen realizes Rishi’s late because he’s been busy meeting potential wives, and Nicole demands to know how Egypt is still the same when she arrived on a completely different plane.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!
2023.02.23 01:38 fractalfay I hear a different drummer drumming: Recap of 90DF The Other Way S04E03
Jeymi can’t believe that after waiting a year she’s finally going to be reunited with Kris, and she giddily hops up and down as Kris walks through the gates wearing an outfit somehow assembled in an airplane bathroom. They kiss each other hello and cry.
“She seemed taller online!” Kris announces.
“I was inside a tiny box?” Jeymi shares our questions.
They take a cab to the apartment Jeymi rented, after Kris requested they share a more modern space. It’s $100 more than Kris’ preferred budget, and she worries that in person it will be even shorter than Jeymi. These anxiety tokens were unnecessarily spent, since Kris approves, and Jeymi introduces her to their bedroom which comes with its own set of tit-pillows.
“Oh my gawd!” Kris declares. “Did you pull these off a giant woman?”
Before Jeymi goes and gets too comfortable on that lounging-titty, Kris reminds her of the hazards of narcolepsy, which might concern her dog.
“Have you seen Yellowjackets?” Kris begins. “It did not work out so well for Biscuit.”
Jeymi has not, but she has seen Cobra Kai, and decides narcolepsy does not exist in this dojo. Instead she kicks off the lingerie competition with an introduction to her swaying mammaries, and a request that the oggling camera crew promptly get the fuck out.
“Really?” The crew is miffed for some reason, as they were promised a performance ideal for cringe television.
“Please, do not let that doctor touch your breasts!” Michael shouts as they’re shoved from the room.
Jen’s Amazon Affiliate account has been approved, and right out the gate she’s committed to selling a shitload of Tach-lite luggage.
“I dunno,” Jen’s brother Charles, aka DJ Doubtfire is on the decks! “She should have gone with the Tach-3. That’s the set with the hard shell. It clamps. She’s got a lot of faith in that velcro. I don’t trust it.”
Before Jen can zip and velcro all three into a suitcase choo-choo train, she shows off a wrinkly yellow garment. “It’s my mom’s wedding dress from 1971,” she explains. “People smoked indoors back then. I want to include it in the wedding somehow, cause it’s special.” Then Jen crushes it into a ball and crams it into the front zipper pocket.
Jen’s nerves continue to strobe as she apologies for an enviable leather sidebelt she could sell on Etsy in seconds with a “festival-wear” tag, and reminds us that her family believes she has the endurance capabilities of a toddler.
“I’m not sure why they’re planning on a nervous breakdown, when those things are best left to surprise,” Jen says. “If I run into Jenny and she throws a chair I’ll just deflect it like I was trained at Waffle House. Everyone else will assume I’m armed.“
“I’m counting on her holding the position of family fuck-up no matter how far away she is,” Brother-hater reporting for shit-talk. “That way I’ll be a hero so long as I have a truck and flush the toilet, and no one will wonder why I still live with my mom. Jen’s sacrificing a lot more than she knows. Like her childhood bedroom, which is now mine.”
Charles makes Jen needing them inevitable, and a consequence of decisions. Jen says she’s ‘afraid they’re going to need me,’ which suggests something unexpected could happen, and circumstances will make it impossible for her to act. This concludes my Ted Talk on how two people can essentially communicate the same thing with far different results.
“Language doesn’t matter,” Charles tells me to go fuck myself.
Jen smokes the crew in airport security, and they’re forced to piece together random airport shots following some elderly woman and her rolling bag, aka this week’s Extra! Extra! After landing Jen heads for a hotel to sleep off the coach-seat hangover, with plans to finish her journey to Rishi’s House of Hair-Worship the next day.
Rishi has been man of the house since his father died, which means now he’s the first one to ask when dinner will be ready. The family wonders why a camera crew is following him around, and why his mother has been tasked with waving a cell phone she promises is packed with marriage proposals while everyone else is busy eating. Rishi reports that Jen has been a touch sensitive about his mother arranging a marriage for him in the middle of their engagement, but mom is sick to death of doing housework, and no one else has hands, except sister Priyanka, who is married and therefore busy being a domestic servant elsewhere. Rishi knows he’s going to have to tell them eventually, and hopes that Jen will be patient when he breaks the news to her that it’s either life in hiding, or taking on half of the chore wheel.
Isabel is excited about Gabe’s arrival, and meets up with her LGBTQ+ friends Samuel and Mateo. They ask her about THE SEX, and Isabel says his package is dicktastic, and her orgasm is the same, but she remains perplexed about the origin of his mystery semen, and other things that could be resolved with a simply set of questions.
“If only someone would remember me,” Google has been lonely lately.
Isabel reminds them that she hasn’t told Miguel, but she’s not too worried, since she raised him with respect for diversity, and they suggest it could still be different once he directly confronts it. They ask about her parents, and Isabel says her mom will likely stare into the void for a few weepy minutes, and dad will provide the family tantrum the cameras are there to record.
Gabriel’s sister takes Gabe to the airport, which she confuses for an unescapable hell mouth until Gabe assures her he can return. She promises to sniff out any suspicious behavior, no matter the distance, and is not above plotting an international ass-whooping.
“I’m going to miss Gabriel, waking him up at 8AM, getting in his business…” Sis understands the Sibling Code of Ethics, and just has to trust she’ll map a way to meddle to the edge of annoyance from afar.
“I prefer premature disappointment,” Charles reminds us.
Nicole’s wrangling endless errors thanks to the dipshittery of OS 16, so her human-handlers are imported from Idaho to convince us she doesn’t have an exoskeleton. Jen apologized for her belt, but Nicole remains stubbornly silent as she parades in a monochrome outfit she scored from the Newsies set and dyed a fetching shade of baby-poo brown.
“I don’t know why Mahmoud thinks he’s going to be able to control her fashion,” Dad frets. “We did everything we could.”
“Have you seen Oliver?” Mom has a different movie in mind.
Dad would prefer if she were moving closer to Idaho than to a different continent, and tries to woo her with promises that state legislators believe Idaho’s border can be adjusted if they all agree that maps are lying.
“I don’t know anything about Egypt,” dad admits.
“Same,” Nicole agrees.
“Yes, but you have been there before, right?” Dad tries.
“Right…” Nicole really wishes she could reboot already.
Dad reports that he learned Small Wonder’s time as single expired courtesy of Facebook, when it accidentally appeared in his conspiracy feed. Nicole tells them that technically she got married twice, once in a courthouse and a second time the Islamic way, when they crashed someone else’s wedding to stutter into a microphone. Before this could happen she was required to convert, which Mahmoud assured her was exactly as complicated as grace before dinner, and Nicole wants any children they have to be born into a shared family religion so they can all wear matching hats.
“Wait, you’re having children? With whose body?” Mom reminds us why her mouth just stays open.
“Then I found out that this religion has rules,” Nicole’s new to earth. “I don’t follow their dietary restrictions, cover my hair, read the Qu’ran, pray five times a day, or remember any of the other details. But I am Muslim. I think.”
“Why are you moving there again?” Mom asks this a lot.
Nicole is adamant that she will never wear a hijab again, which makes her worry this won’t work, since religion is so important to Mahmoud, and fashion is so important to Nicole.
“But have you ever delivered for GrubHub?” Nicole makes a strong case. “Compare that to the textile store you’re about to see and you’ll understand why I’m throwing things in boxes.”
Mahmoud manages a fabric store filled with woven miracles, and he admires a lot of things about Nicole he hopes to change. Mahmoud says that he simply can’t stop loving her, despite palpable cultural differences and her devotion to neutral tones. He meets up with his two much-older brothers to discuss reverting her operating system back to something better suited for 2,000 years ago, and they have the same conversation we’ve seen every season of this show since Arabic Grifter joined Eastern European Gold-Digger and Spicy Deceptive Latinx on the 90DF stereotype list.
“It makes a lot of sense that I chose a non-Muslim American to be my devout Muslim bride,” Mahmoud recites his lines.
“Me done,” Memphis has had it.
On launch-day the parents drive Nicole to the airport so she can fly towards the life she doesn’t want dressed like a French box of wine, and the pilot gets confused and makes her leave the beret on the tarmac. After 15 hours in the air she turns the corner and greets Mahmoud, and they awkwardly clang bodies together while Nicole frets this will result in jail time. Mahmoud worries she won’t stay this time, which baffles Nicole for reasons known only to OS 16, and then he asks her to close her jacket because her lightning port is hanging out.
“I was hoping this kind of stuff wouldn’t start the minute I landed,” Nicole protests.
“But the minute you landed, you were in Egypt,” Mahmoud tries, and the groundwork has been laid for the first round of the same fight slated to take place the next ten episodes.
For two straight episodes 90DF has been burying the lead, but they simply cannot contain Debbie any longer. She’s 67 and has represented Georgia in the the Thrift Store Olympics ten years in a row, and loves the opportunity to wander the aisles and play pretend.
“I hear a different drummer drumming?” Debbie’s been doing bong rips of the good shit since Jen’s mom wore that dress wad.
Her house looks remarkably similar to the thrift store she just toured, with ornately carved room dividers, treasure chests, endless antiques, and tons of semi-precious jewelry she’s fashioned from quartz and other stones dug from quarries. Debbie also paints in a whimsical illustrator style, and hangs her creations on every uncovered wall.
“Painting is my friend. It never lets me down!” Debbie’s beam of magic scorches the crusty edges of my black heart.
Debbie’s mom had mental health issues, and so she was raised with no sense of stability. She’s spent much of her life smoking hot, and has been married twice, starting with a womanizer who fathered her son, Julian.
“You think you’re getting Prince Charming, but you could be getting the Big Bad Wolf,” Debbie writes another bumpersticker.
She was married to hubby #2 for 23 years, and they had a kid named Sandy, and they survived 80s haircuts and 110 cameras together. Then he started acting funny, so she hired a PI who discovered he had a second life and an international side-piece. Debbie got divorced and swore off men for 12 years. Then a 24 year-old named Osama from Morocco dropped into her Facebook messages to thank her for not deleting her account, to compliment her art, and to declare himself an artist when he wears this fedora, and a poet when he adds a scarf. After a few months of talking Debbie traveled to Morocco to visit him and they clicked.
“He’s like a tree who takes root in your heart,” Debbie says. “And it gets really awkward when branches shoot out of your mouth. But I love him!”
Osama proposed, Debbie said yes, and now she’s taking a shitload of vitamins to reverse the aging process, which is cheaper than injecting them in your face. In two short weeks she’s leaving, which isn’t going over well with her son Julian, who is a cop. Julian’s seen this show, and wishes his mom would pause a moment to consider why a 24 year-old Moroccan perp might propose to an elderly American. He makes his case while seated on one of the two greatest couches in the history of furniture, and Debbie sits on the other one.
“Young, lives in a third-world country, has no job,” Julian writes a compelling personal ad. “This has to be a catfish situation.”
“I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck,” Debbie believes this is reassurance.
“It sure seems like you just fell off the turnip truck,” Julian weighs the evidence.
“Well I wish you’d get on board the turnip truck so you could see what a fun ride it is!” Debbie insists, while Julian promises to dig until he finds the dirt, and once he does he’s wearing mirrored glasses for the remainder of the season.
Debbie could carry the season with no help at all, but production already had Daniele under contract, so here she comes with her concerns that Yohan’s butcher shop doesn’t have the economic potential of online yoga classes led by someone who has yet to yoga on camera.
“I believe I will accept that my butcher shop is a failure when I close it to move to America,” Yohan reads ahead.
Daniele thinks she’s sacrificed a lot that Yohan didn’t ask her to sacrifice to be with him, so if he wants to stay in this relationship he’s going to have to change the economy of the Dominican Republic. They go to look at apartments, and her demand-list for the ancestors includes two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a pool, a terrace, and parking.
“So soon she has forgotten about the mangoes!” The ancestors need her to stop revising.
They look at a spot in a building inhabited by other ex-pats, with a price tag of 191,000 pesos, or $2,000 a month. Daniele inquires about Yohan’s planned contribution, and he reports a willingness to provide 5,000 pesos, or one sacrificed breakfast.
Daniele says that if she’s the breadwinner that makes him her wife, and she wants to know if he’s going to cook for her or something, since she’s going to be very busy working at home while he’s working somewhere else. Yohan believes it’s a gift to cook for your husband, and that equality begins as he’s eating it, but if she insists they can probably get Rishi’s mother to move in, since cooking for two people is easier than cooking for six.
“Emasculation should work here,” Daniele waves her hands around, but forgets her wand.
“You also thought manifesting would work,” Yohan knows THE SECRET, and so they agree to look at other apartments until they find one that doesn’t consider Daniele’s debt load.
NEXT TIME: Julian takes Debbie to meet the person about to freeze her assets, Kris has more medical problems that sound like escape clauses to Jeymi, Isabel is uneasy about Gabriel’s determination to share his trans status, Jen realizes Rishi’s late because he’s been busy meeting potential wives, and Nicole demands to know how Egypt is still the same when she arrived on a completely different plane.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!
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“She seemed taller online!” Kris announces.
“I was inside a tiny box?” Jeymi shares our questions.
They take a cab to the apartment Jeymi rented, after Kris requested they share a more modern space. It’s $100 more than Kris’ preferred budget, and she worries that in person it will be even shorter than Jeymi. These anxiety tokens were unnecessarily spent, since Kris approves, and Jeymi introduces her to their bedroom which comes with its own set of tit-pillows.
“Oh my gawd!” Kris declares. “Did you pull these off a giant woman?”
Before Jeymi goes and gets too comfortable on that lounging-titty, Kris reminds her of the hazards of narcolepsy, which might concern her dog.
“Have you seen Yellowjackets?” Kris begins. “It did not work out so well for Biscuit.”
Jeymi has not, but she has seen Cobra Kai, and decides narcolepsy does not exist in this dojo. Instead she kicks off the lingerie competition with an introduction to her swaying mammaries, and a request that the oggling camera crew promptly get the fuck out.
“Really?” The crew is miffed for some reason, as they were promised a performance ideal for cringe television.
“Please, do not let that doctor touch your breasts!” Michael shouts as they’re shoved from the room.
Jen’s Amazon Affiliate account has been approved, and right out the gate she’s committed to selling a shitload of Tach-lite luggage.
“I dunno,” Jen’s brother Charles, aka DJ Doubtfire is on the decks! “She should have gone with the Tach-3. That’s the set with the hard shell. It clamps. She’s got a lot of faith in that velcro. I don’t trust it.”
Before Jen can zip and velcro all three into a suitcase choo-choo train, she shows off a wrinkly yellow garment. “It’s my mom’s wedding dress from 1971,” she explains. “People smoked indoors back then. I want to include it in the wedding somehow, cause it’s special.” Then Jen crushes it into a ball and crams it into the front zipper pocket.
Jen’s nerves continue to strobe as she apologies for an enviable leather sidebelt she could sell on Etsy in seconds with a “festival-wear” tag, and reminds us that her family believes she has the endurance capabilities of a toddler.
“I’m not sure why they’re planning on a nervous breakdown, when those things are best left to surprise,” Jen says. “If I run into Jenny and she throws a chair I’ll just deflect it like I was trained at Waffle House. Everyone else will assume I’m armed.“
“I’m counting on her holding the position of family fuck-up no matter how far away she is,” Brother-hater reporting for shit-talk. “That way I’ll be a hero so long as I have a truck and flush the toilet, and no one will wonder why I still live with my mom. Jen’s sacrificing a lot more than she knows. Like her childhood bedroom, which is now mine.”
Charles makes Jen needing them inevitable, and a consequence of decisions. Jen says she’s ‘afraid they’re going to need me,’ which suggests something unexpected could happen, and circumstances will make it impossible for her to act. This concludes my Ted Talk on how two people can essentially communicate the same thing with far different results.
“Language doesn’t matter,” Charles tells me to go fuck myself.
Jen smokes the crew in airport security, and they’re forced to piece together random airport shots following some elderly woman and her rolling bag, aka this week’s Extra! Extra! After landing Jen heads for a hotel to sleep off the coach-seat hangover, with plans to finish her journey to Rishi’s House of Hair-Worship the next day.
Rishi has been man of the house since his father died, which means now he’s the first one to ask when dinner will be ready. The family wonders why a camera crew is following him around, and why his mother has been tasked with waving a cell phone she promises is packed with marriage proposals while everyone else is busy eating. Rishi reports that Jen has been a touch sensitive about his mother arranging a marriage for him in the middle of their engagement, but mom is sick to death of doing housework, and no one else has hands, except sister Priyanka, who is married and therefore busy being a domestic servant elsewhere. Rishi knows he’s going to have to tell them eventually, and hopes that Jen will be patient when he breaks the news to her that it’s either life in hiding, or taking on half of the chore wheel.
Isabel is excited about Gabe’s arrival, and meets up with her LGBTQ+ friends Samuel and Mateo. They ask her about THE SEX, and Isabel says his package is dicktastic, and her orgasm is the same, but she remains perplexed about the origin of his mystery semen, and other things that could be resolved with a simply set of questions.
“If only someone would remember me,” Google has been lonely lately.
Isabel reminds them that she hasn’t told Miguel, but she’s not too worried, since she raised him with respect for diversity, and they suggest it could still be different once he directly confronts it. They ask about her parents, and Isabel says her mom will likely stare into the void for a few weepy minutes, and dad will provide the family tantrum the cameras are there to record.
Gabriel’s sister takes Gabe to the airport, which she confuses for an unescapable hell mouth until Gabe assures her he can return. She promises to sniff out any suspicious behavior, no matter the distance, and is not above plotting an international ass-whooping.
“I’m going to miss Gabriel, waking him up at 8AM, getting in his business…” Sis understands the Sibling Code of Ethics, and just has to trust she’ll map a way to meddle to the edge of annoyance from afar.
“I prefer premature disappointment,” Charles reminds us.
Nicole’s wrangling endless errors thanks to the dipshittery of OS 16, so her human-handlers are imported from Idaho to convince us she doesn’t have an exoskeleton. Jen apologized for her belt, but Nicole remains stubbornly silent as she parades in a monochrome outfit she scored from the Newsies set and dyed a fetching shade of baby-poo brown.
“I don’t know why Mahmoud thinks he’s going to be able to control her fashion,” Dad frets. “We did everything we could.”
“Have you seen Oliver?” Mom has a different movie in mind.
Dad would prefer if she were moving closer to Idaho than to a different continent, and tries to woo her with promises that state legislators believe Idaho’s border can be adjusted if they all agree that maps are lying.
“I don’t know anything about Egypt,” dad admits.
“Same,” Nicole agrees.
“Yes, but you have been there before, right?” Dad tries.
“Right…” Nicole really wishes she could reboot already.
Dad reports that he learned Small Wonder’s time as single expired courtesy of Facebook, when it accidentally appeared in his conspiracy feed. Nicole tells them that technically she got married twice, once in a courthouse and a second time the Islamic way, when they crashed someone else’s wedding to stutter into a microphone. Before this could happen she was required to convert, which Mahmoud assured her was exactly as complicated as grace before dinner, and Nicole wants any children they have to be born into a shared family religion so they can all wear matching hats.
“Wait, you’re having children? With whose body?” Mom reminds us why her mouth just stays open.
“Then I found out that this religion has rules,” Nicole’s new to earth. “I don’t follow their dietary restrictions, cover my hair, read the Qu’ran, pray five times a day, or remember any of the other details. But I am Muslim. I think.”
“Why are you moving there again?” Mom asks this a lot.
Nicole is adamant that she will never wear a hijab again, which makes her worry this won’t work, since religion is so important to Mahmoud, and fashion is so important to Nicole.
“But have you ever delivered for GrubHub?” Nicole makes a strong case. “Compare that to the textile store you’re about to see and you’ll understand why I’m throwing things in boxes.”
Mahmoud manages a fabric store filled with woven miracles, and he admires a lot of things about Nicole he hopes to change. Mahmoud says that he simply can’t stop loving her, despite palpable cultural differences and her devotion to neutral tones. He meets up with his two much-older brothers to discuss reverting her operating system back to something better suited for 2,000 years ago, and they have the same conversation we’ve seen every season of this show since Arabic Grifter joined Eastern European Gold-Digger and Spicy Deceptive Latinx on the 90DF stereotype list.
“It makes a lot of sense that I chose a non-Muslim American to be my devout Muslim bride,” Mahmoud recites his lines.
“Me done,” Memphis has had it.
On launch-day the parents drive Nicole to the airport so she can fly towards the life she doesn’t want dressed like a French box of wine, and the pilot gets confused and makes her leave the beret on the tarmac. After 15 hours in the air she turns the corner and greets Mahmoud, and they awkwardly clang bodies together while Nicole frets this will result in jail time. Mahmoud worries she won’t stay this time, which baffles Nicole for reasons known only to OS 16, and then he asks her to close her jacket because her lightning port is hanging out.
“I was hoping this kind of stuff wouldn’t start the minute I landed,” Nicole protests.
“But the minute you landed, you were in Egypt,” Mahmoud tries, and the groundwork has been laid for the first round of the same fight slated to take place the next ten episodes.
For two straight episodes 90DF has been burying the lead, but they simply cannot contain Debbie any longer. She’s 67 and has represented Georgia in the the Thrift Store Olympics ten years in a row, and loves the opportunity to wander the aisles and play pretend.
“I hear a different drummer drumming?” Debbie’s been doing bong rips of the good shit since Jen’s mom wore that dress wad.
Her house looks remarkably similar to the thrift store she just toured, with ornately carved room dividers, treasure chests, endless antiques, and tons of semi-precious jewelry she’s fashioned from quartz and other stones dug from quarries. Debbie also paints in a whimsical illustrator style, and hangs her creations on every uncovered wall.
“Painting is my friend. It never lets me down!” Debbie’s beam of magic scorches the crusty edges of my black heart.
Debbie’s mom had mental health issues, and so she was raised with no sense of stability. She’s spent much of her life smoking hot, and has been married twice, starting with a womanizer who fathered her son, Julian.
“You think you’re getting Prince Charming, but you could be getting the Big Bad Wolf,” Debbie writes another bumpersticker.
She was married to hubby #2 for 23 years, and they had a kid named Sandy, and they survived 80s haircuts and 110 cameras together. Then he started acting funny, so she hired a PI who discovered he had a second life and an international side-piece. Debbie got divorced and swore off men for 12 years. Then a 24 year-old named Osama from Morocco dropped into her Facebook messages to thank her for not deleting her account, to compliment her art, and to declare himself an artist when he wears this fedora, and a poet when he adds a scarf. After a few months of talking Debbie traveled to Morocco to visit him and they clicked.
“He’s like a tree who takes root in your heart,” Debbie says. “And it gets really awkward when branches shoot out of your mouth. But I love him!”
Osama proposed, Debbie said yes, and now she’s taking a shitload of vitamins to reverse the aging process, which is cheaper than injecting them in your face. In two short weeks she’s leaving, which isn’t going over well with her son Julian, who is a cop. Julian’s seen this show, and wishes his mom would pause a moment to consider why a 24 year-old Moroccan perp might propose to an elderly American. He makes his case while seated on one of the two greatest couches in the history of furniture, and Debbie sits on the other one.
“Young, lives in a third-world country, has no job,” Julian writes a compelling personal ad. “This has to be a catfish situation.”
“I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck,” Debbie believes this is reassurance.
“It sure seems like you just fell off the turnip truck,” Julian weighs the evidence.
“Well I wish you’d get on board the turnip truck so you could see what a fun ride it is!” Debbie insists, while Julian promises to dig until he finds the dirt, and once he does he’s wearing mirrored glasses for the remainder of the season.
Debbie could carry the season with no help at all, but production already had Daniele under contract, so here she comes with her concerns that Yohan’s butcher shop doesn’t have the economic potential of online yoga classes led by someone who has yet to yoga on camera.
“I believe I will accept that my butcher shop is a failure when I close it to move to America,” Yohan reads ahead.
Daniele thinks she’s sacrificed a lot that Yohan didn’t ask her to sacrifice to be with him, so if he wants to stay in this relationship he’s going to have to change the economy of the Dominican Republic. They go to look at apartments, and her demand-list for the ancestors includes two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a pool, a terrace, and parking.
“So soon she has forgotten about the mangoes!” The ancestors need her to stop revising.
They look at a spot in a building inhabited by other ex-pats, with a price tag of 191,000 pesos, or $2,000 a month. Daniele inquires about Yohan’s planned contribution, and he reports a willingness to provide 5,000 pesos, or one sacrificed breakfast.
Daniele says that if she’s the breadwinner that makes him her wife, and she wants to know if he’s going to cook for her or something, since she’s going to be very busy working at home while he’s working somewhere else. Yohan believes it’s a gift to cook for your husband, and that equality begins as he’s eating it, but if she insists they can probably get Rishi’s mother to move in, since cooking for two people is easier than cooking for six.
“Emasculation should work here,” Daniele waves her hands around, but forgets her wand.
“You also thought manifesting would work,” Yohan knows THE SECRET, and so they agree to look at other apartments until they find one that doesn’t consider Daniele’s debt load.
NEXT TIME: Julian takes Debbie to meet the person about to freeze her assets, Kris has more medical problems that sound like escape clauses to Jeymi, Isabel is uneasy about Gabriel’s determination to share his trans status, Jen realizes Rishi’s late because he’s been busy meeting potential wives, and Nicole demands to know how Egypt is still the same when she arrived on a completely different plane.
Thank you, Patreon supporters!
2023.02.23 01:37 fractalfay I hear a different drummer drumming: Recap of 90DF The Other Way S04E03
Jeymi can’t believe that after waiting a year she’s finally going to be reunited with Kris, and she giddily hops up and down as Kris walks through the gates wearing an outfit somehow assembled in an airplane bathroom. They kiss each other hello and cry.
“She seemed taller online!” Kris announces.
“I was inside a tiny box?” Jeymi shares our questions.
They take a cab to the apartment Jeymi rented, after Kris requested they share a more modern space. It’s $100 more than Kris’ preferred budget, and she worries that in person it will be even shorter than Jeymi. These anxiety tokens were unnecessarily spent, since Kris approves, and Jeymi introduces her to their bedroom which comes with its own set of tit-pillows.
“Oh my gawd!” Kris declares. “Did you pull these off a giant woman?”
Before Jeymi goes and gets too comfortable on that lounging-titty, Kris reminds her of the hazards of narcolepsy, which might concern her dog.
“Have you seen Yellowjackets?” Kris begins. “It did not work out so well for Biscuit.”
Jeymi has not, but she has seen Cobra Kai, and decides narcolepsy does not exist in this dojo. Instead she kicks off the lingerie competition with an introduction to her swaying mammaries, and a request that the oggling camera crew promptly get the fuck out.
“Really?” The crew is miffed for some reason, as they were promised a performance ideal for cringe television.
“Please, do not let that doctor touch your breasts!” Michael shouts as they’re shoved from the room.
Jen’s Amazon Affiliate account has been approved, and right out the gate she’s committed to selling a shitload of Tach-lite luggage.
“I dunno,” Jen’s brother Charles, aka DJ Doubtfire is on the decks! “She should have gone with the Tach-3. That’s the set with the hard shell. It clamps. She’s got a lot of faith in that velcro. I don’t trust it.”
Before Jen can zip and velcro all three into a suitcase choo-choo train, she shows off a wrinkly yellow garment. “It’s my mom’s wedding dress from 1971,” she explains. “People smoked indoors back then. I want to include it in the wedding somehow, cause it’s special.” Then Jen crushes it into a ball and crams it into the front zipper pocket.
Jen’s nerves continue to strobe as she apologies for an enviable leather sidebelt she could sell on Etsy in seconds with a “festival-wear” tag, and reminds us that her family believes she has the endurance capabilities of a toddler.
“I’m not sure why they’re planning on a nervous breakdown, when those things are best left to surprise,” Jen says. “If I run into Jenny and she throws a chair I’ll just deflect it like I was trained at Waffle House. Everyone else will assume I’m armed.“
“I’m counting on her holding the position of family fuck-up no matter how far away she is,” Brother-hater reporting for shit-talk. “That way I’ll be a hero so long as I have a truck and flush the toilet, and no one will wonder why I still live with my mom. Jen’s sacrificing a lot more than she knows. Like her childhood bedroom, which is now mine.”
Charles makes Jen needing them inevitable, and a consequence of decisions. Jen says she’s ‘afraid they’re going to need me,’ which suggests something unexpected could happen, and circumstances will make it impossible for her to act. This concludes my Ted Talk on how two people can essentially communicate the same thing with far different results.
“Language doesn’t matter,” Charles tells me to go fuck myself.
Jen smokes the crew in airport security, and they’re forced to piece together random airport shots following some elderly woman and her rolling bag, aka this week’s Extra! Extra! After landing Jen heads for a hotel to sleep off the coach-seat hangover, with plans to finish her journey to Rishi’s House of Hair-Worship the next day.
Rishi has been man of the house since his father died, which means now he’s the first one to ask when dinner will be ready. The family wonders why a camera crew is following him around, and why his mother has been tasked with waving a cell phone she promises is packed with marriage proposals while everyone else is busy eating. Rishi reports that Jen has been a touch sensitive about his mother arranging a marriage for him in the middle of their engagement, but mom is sick to death of doing housework, and no one else has hands, except sister Priyanka, who is married and therefore busy being a domestic servant elsewhere. Rishi knows he’s going to have to tell them eventually, and hopes that Jen will be patient when he breaks the news to her that it’s either life in hiding, or taking on half of the chore wheel.
Isabel is excited about Gabe’s arrival, and meets up with her LGBTQ+ friends Samuel and Mateo. They ask her about THE SEX, and Isabel says his package is dicktastic, and her orgasm is the same, but she remains perplexed about the origin of his mystery semen, and other things that could be resolved with a simply set of questions.
“If only someone would remember me,” Google has been lonely lately.
Isabel reminds them that she hasn’t told Miguel, but she’s not too worried, since she raised him with respect for diversity, and they suggest it could still be different once he directly confronts it. They ask about her parents, and Isabel says her mom will likely stare into the void for a few weepy minutes, and dad will provide the family tantrum the cameras are there to record.
Gabriel’s sister takes Gabe to the airport, which she confuses for an unescapable hell mouth until Gabe assures her he can return. She promises to sniff out any suspicious behavior, no matter the distance, and is not above plotting an international ass-whooping.
“I’m going to miss Gabriel, waking him up at 8AM, getting in his business…” Sis understands the Sibling Code of Ethics, and just has to trust she’ll map a way to meddle to the edge of annoyance from afar.
“I prefer premature disappointment,” Charles reminds us.
Nicole’s wrangling endless errors thanks to the dipshittery of OS 16, so her human-handlers are imported from Idaho to convince us she doesn’t have an exoskeleton. Jen apologized for her belt, but Nicole remains stubbornly silent as she parades in a monochrome outfit she scored from the Newsies set and dyed a fetching shade of baby-poo brown.
“I don’t know why Mahmoud thinks he’s going to be able to control her fashion,” Dad frets. “We did everything we could.”
“Have you seen Oliver?” Mom has a different movie in mind.
Dad would prefer if she were moving closer to Idaho than to a different continent, and tries to woo her with promises that state legislators believe Idaho’s border can be adjusted if they all agree that maps are lying.
“I don’t know anything about Egypt,” dad admits.
“Same,” Nicole agrees.
“Yes, but you have been there before, right?” Dad tries.
“Right…” Nicole really wishes she could reboot already.
Dad reports that he learned Small Wonder’s time as single expired courtesy of Facebook, when it accidentally appeared in his conspiracy feed. Nicole tells them that technically she got married twice, once in a courthouse and a second time the Islamic way, when they crashed someone else’s wedding to stutter into a microphone. Before this could happen she was required to convert, which Mahmoud assured her was exactly as complicated as grace before dinner, and Nicole wants any children they have to be born into a shared family religion so they can all wear matching hats.
“Wait, you’re having children? With whose body?” Mom reminds us why her mouth just stays open.
“Then I found out that this religion has rules,” Nicole’s new to earth. “I don’t follow their dietary restrictions, cover my hair, read the Qu’ran, pray five times a day, or remember any of the other details. But I am Muslim. I think.”
“Why are you moving there again?” Mom asks this a lot.
Nicole is adamant that she will never wear a hijab again, which makes her worry this won’t work, since religion is so important to Mahmoud, and fashion is so important to Nicole.
“But have you ever delivered for GrubHub?” Nicole makes a strong case. “Compare that to the textile store you’re about to see and you’ll understand why I’m throwing things in boxes.”
Mahmoud manages a fabric store filled with woven miracles, and he admires a lot of things about Nicole he hopes to change. Mahmoud says that he simply can’t stop loving her, despite palpable cultural differences and her devotion to neutral tones. He meets up with his two much-older brothers to discuss reverting her operating system back to something better suited for 2,000 years ago, and they have the same conversation we’ve seen every season of this show since Arabic Grifter joined Eastern European Gold-Digger and Spicy Deceptive Latinx on the 90DF stereotype list.
“It makes a lot of sense that I chose a non-Muslim American to be my devout Muslim bride,” Mahmoud recites his lines.
“Me done,” Memphis has had it.
On launch-day the parents drive Nicole to the airport so she can fly towards the life she doesn’t want dressed like a French box of wine, and the pilot gets confused and makes her leave the beret on the tarmac. After 15 hours in the air she turns the corner and greets Mahmoud, and they awkwardly clang bodies together while Nicole frets this will result in jail time. Mahmoud worries she won’t stay this time, which baffles Nicole for reasons known only to OS 16, and then he asks her to close her jacket because her lightning port is hanging out.
“I was hoping this kind of stuff wouldn’t start the minute I landed,” Nicole protests.
“But the minute you landed, you were in Egypt,” Mahmoud tries, and the groundwork has been laid for the first round of the same fight slated to take place the next ten episodes.
For two straight episodes 90DF has been burying the lead, but they simply cannot contain Debbie any longer. She’s 67 and has represented Georgia in the the Thrift Store Olympics ten years in a row, and loves the opportunity to wander the aisles and play pretend.
“I hear a different drummer drumming?” Debbie’s been doing bong rips of the good shit since Jen’s mom wore that dress wad.
Her house looks remarkably similar to the thrift store she just toured, with ornately carved room dividers, treasure chests, endless antiques, and tons of semi-precious jewelry she’s fashioned from quartz and other stones dug from quarries. Debbie also paints in a whimsical illustrator style, and hangs her creations on every uncovered wall.
“Painting is my friend. It never lets me down!” Debbie’s beam of magic scorches the crusty edges of my black heart.
Debbie’s mom had mental health issues, and so she was raised with no sense of stability. She’s spent much of her life smoking hot, and has been married twice, starting with a womanizer who fathered her son, Julian.
“You think you’re getting Prince Charming, but you could be getting the Big Bad Wolf,” Debbie writes another bumpersticker.
She was married to hubby #2 for 23 years, and they had a kid named Sandy, and they survived 80s haircuts and 110 cameras together. Then he started acting funny, so she hired a PI who discovered he had a second life and an international side-piece. Debbie got divorced and swore off men for 12 years. Then a 24 year-old named Osama from Morocco dropped into her Facebook messages to thank her for not deleting her account, to compliment her art, and to declare himself an artist when he wears this fedora, and a poet when he adds a scarf. After a few months of talking Debbie traveled to Morocco to visit him and they clicked.
“He’s like a tree who takes root in your heart,” Debbie says. “And it gets really awkward when branches shoot out of your mouth. But I love him!”
Osama proposed, Debbie said yes, and now she’s taking a shitload of vitamins to reverse the aging process, which is cheaper than injecting them in your face. In two short weeks she’s leaving, which isn’t going over well with her son Julian, who is a cop. Julian’s seen this show, and wishes his mom would pause a moment to consider why a 24 year-old Moroccan perp might propose to an elderly American. He makes his case while seated on one of the two greatest couches in the history of furniture, and Debbie sits on the other one.
“Young, lives in a third-world country, has no job,” Julian writes a compelling personal ad. “This has to be a catfish situation.”
“I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck,” Debbie believes this is reassurance.
“It sure seems like you just fell off the turnip truck,” Julian weighs the evidence.
“Well I wish you’d get on board the turnip truck so you could see what a fun ride it is!” Debbie insists, while Julian promises to dig until he finds the dirt, and once he does he’s wearing mirrored glasses for the remainder of the season.
Debbie could carry the season with no help at all, but production already had Daniele under contract, so here she comes with her concerns that Yohan’s butcher shop doesn’t have the economic potential of online yoga classes led by someone who has yet to yoga on camera.
“I believe I will accept that my butcher shop is a failure when I close it to move to America,” Yohan reads ahead.
Daniele thinks she’s sacrificed a lot that Yohan didn’t ask her to sacrifice to be with him, so if he wants to stay in this relationship he’s going to have to change the economy of the Dominican Republic. They go to look at apartments, and her demand-list for the ancestors includes two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a pool, a terrace, and parking.
“So soon she has forgotten about the mangoes!” The ancestors need her to stop revising.
They look at a spot in a building inhabited by other ex-pats, with a price tag of 191,000 pesos, or $2,000 a month. Daniele inquires about Yohan’s planned contribution, and he reports a willingness to provide 5,000 pesos, or one sacrificed breakfast.
Daniele says that if she’s the breadwinner that makes him her wife, and she wants to know if he’s going to cook for her or something, since she’s going to be very busy working at home while he’s working somewhere else. Yohan believes it’s a gift to cook for your husband, and that equality begins as he’s eating it, but if she insists they can probably get Rishi’s mother to move in, since cooking for two people is easier than cooking for six.
“Emasculation should work here,” Daniele waves her hands around, but forgets her wand.
“You also thought manifesting would work,” Yohan knows THE SECRET, and so they agree to look at other apartments until they find one that doesn’t consider Daniele’s debt load.
NEXT TIME: Julian takes Debbie to meet the person about to freeze her assets, Kris has more medical problems that sound like escape clauses to Jeymi, Isabel is uneasy about Gabriel’s determination to share his trans status, Jen realizes Rishi’s late because he’s been busy meeting potential wives, and Nicole demands to know how Egypt is still the same when she arrived on a completely different plane.
Thank you, Patreon supporters! patreon.com/fractalfay
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“She seemed taller online!” Kris announces.
“I was inside a tiny box?” Jeymi shares our questions.
They take a cab to the apartment Jeymi rented, after Kris requested they share a more modern space. It’s $100 more than Kris’ preferred budget, and she worries that in person it will be even shorter than Jeymi. These anxiety tokens were unnecessarily spent, since Kris approves, and Jeymi introduces her to their bedroom which comes with its own set of tit-pillows.
“Oh my gawd!” Kris declares. “Did you pull these off a giant woman?”
Before Jeymi goes and gets too comfortable on that lounging-titty, Kris reminds her of the hazards of narcolepsy, which might concern her dog.
“Have you seen Yellowjackets?” Kris begins. “It did not work out so well for Biscuit.”
Jeymi has not, but she has seen Cobra Kai, and decides narcolepsy does not exist in this dojo. Instead she kicks off the lingerie competition with an introduction to her swaying mammaries, and a request that the oggling camera crew promptly get the fuck out.
“Really?” The crew is miffed for some reason, as they were promised a performance ideal for cringe television.
“Please, do not let that doctor touch your breasts!” Michael shouts as they’re shoved from the room.
Jen’s Amazon Affiliate account has been approved, and right out the gate she’s committed to selling a shitload of Tach-lite luggage.
“I dunno,” Jen’s brother Charles, aka DJ Doubtfire is on the decks! “She should have gone with the Tach-3. That’s the set with the hard shell. It clamps. She’s got a lot of faith in that velcro. I don’t trust it.”
Before Jen can zip and velcro all three into a suitcase choo-choo train, she shows off a wrinkly yellow garment. “It’s my mom’s wedding dress from 1971,” she explains. “People smoked indoors back then. I want to include it in the wedding somehow, cause it’s special.” Then Jen crushes it into a ball and crams it into the front zipper pocket.
Jen’s nerves continue to strobe as she apologies for an enviable leather sidebelt she could sell on Etsy in seconds with a “festival-wear” tag, and reminds us that her family believes she has the endurance capabilities of a toddler.
“I’m not sure why they’re planning on a nervous breakdown, when those things are best left to surprise,” Jen says. “If I run into Jenny and she throws a chair I’ll just deflect it like I was trained at Waffle House. Everyone else will assume I’m armed.“
“I’m counting on her holding the position of family fuck-up no matter how far away she is,” Brother-hater reporting for shit-talk. “That way I’ll be a hero so long as I have a truck and flush the toilet, and no one will wonder why I still live with my mom. Jen’s sacrificing a lot more than she knows. Like her childhood bedroom, which is now mine.”
Charles makes Jen needing them inevitable, and a consequence of decisions. Jen says she’s ‘afraid they’re going to need me,’ which suggests something unexpected could happen, and circumstances will make it impossible for her to act. This concludes my Ted Talk on how two people can essentially communicate the same thing with far different results.
“Language doesn’t matter,” Charles tells me to go fuck myself.
Jen smokes the crew in airport security, and they’re forced to piece together random airport shots following some elderly woman and her rolling bag, aka this week’s Extra! Extra! After landing Jen heads for a hotel to sleep off the coach-seat hangover, with plans to finish her journey to Rishi’s House of Hair-Worship the next day.
Rishi has been man of the house since his father died, which means now he’s the first one to ask when dinner will be ready. The family wonders why a camera crew is following him around, and why his mother has been tasked with waving a cell phone she promises is packed with marriage proposals while everyone else is busy eating. Rishi reports that Jen has been a touch sensitive about his mother arranging a marriage for him in the middle of their engagement, but mom is sick to death of doing housework, and no one else has hands, except sister Priyanka, who is married and therefore busy being a domestic servant elsewhere. Rishi knows he’s going to have to tell them eventually, and hopes that Jen will be patient when he breaks the news to her that it’s either life in hiding, or taking on half of the chore wheel.
Isabel is excited about Gabe’s arrival, and meets up with her LGBTQ+ friends Samuel and Mateo. They ask her about THE SEX, and Isabel says his package is dicktastic, and her orgasm is the same, but she remains perplexed about the origin of his mystery semen, and other things that could be resolved with a simply set of questions.
“If only someone would remember me,” Google has been lonely lately.
Isabel reminds them that she hasn’t told Miguel, but she’s not too worried, since she raised him with respect for diversity, and they suggest it could still be different once he directly confronts it. They ask about her parents, and Isabel says her mom will likely stare into the void for a few weepy minutes, and dad will provide the family tantrum the cameras are there to record.
Gabriel’s sister takes Gabe to the airport, which she confuses for an unescapable hell mouth until Gabe assures her he can return. She promises to sniff out any suspicious behavior, no matter the distance, and is not above plotting an international ass-whooping.
“I’m going to miss Gabriel, waking him up at 8AM, getting in his business…” Sis understands the Sibling Code of Ethics, and just has to trust she’ll map a way to meddle to the edge of annoyance from afar.
“I prefer premature disappointment,” Charles reminds us.
Nicole’s wrangling endless errors thanks to the dipshittery of OS 16, so her human-handlers are imported from Idaho to convince us she doesn’t have an exoskeleton. Jen apologized for her belt, but Nicole remains stubbornly silent as she parades in a monochrome outfit she scored from the Newsies set and dyed a fetching shade of baby-poo brown.
“I don’t know why Mahmoud thinks he’s going to be able to control her fashion,” Dad frets. “We did everything we could.”
“Have you seen Oliver?” Mom has a different movie in mind.
Dad would prefer if she were moving closer to Idaho than to a different continent, and tries to woo her with promises that state legislators believe Idaho’s border can be adjusted if they all agree that maps are lying.
“I don’t know anything about Egypt,” dad admits.
“Same,” Nicole agrees.
“Yes, but you have been there before, right?” Dad tries.
“Right…” Nicole really wishes she could reboot already.
Dad reports that he learned Small Wonder’s time as single expired courtesy of Facebook, when it accidentally appeared in his conspiracy feed. Nicole tells them that technically she got married twice, once in a courthouse and a second time the Islamic way, when they crashed someone else’s wedding to stutter into a microphone. Before this could happen she was required to convert, which Mahmoud assured her was exactly as complicated as grace before dinner, and Nicole wants any children they have to be born into a shared family religion so they can all wear matching hats.
“Wait, you’re having children? With whose body?” Mom reminds us why her mouth just stays open.
“Then I found out that this religion has rules,” Nicole’s new to earth. “I don’t follow their dietary restrictions, cover my hair, read the Qu’ran, pray five times a day, or remember any of the other details. But I am Muslim. I think.”
“Why are you moving there again?” Mom asks this a lot.
Nicole is adamant that she will never wear a hijab again, which makes her worry this won’t work, since religion is so important to Mahmoud, and fashion is so important to Nicole.
“But have you ever delivered for GrubHub?” Nicole makes a strong case. “Compare that to the textile store you’re about to see and you’ll understand why I’m throwing things in boxes.”
Mahmoud manages a fabric store filled with woven miracles, and he admires a lot of things about Nicole he hopes to change. Mahmoud says that he simply can’t stop loving her, despite palpable cultural differences and her devotion to neutral tones. He meets up with his two much-older brothers to discuss reverting her operating system back to something better suited for 2,000 years ago, and they have the same conversation we’ve seen every season of this show since Arabic Grifter joined Eastern European Gold-Digger and Spicy Deceptive Latinx on the 90DF stereotype list.
“It makes a lot of sense that I chose a non-Muslim American to be my devout Muslim bride,” Mahmoud recites his lines.
“Me done,” Memphis has had it.
On launch-day the parents drive Nicole to the airport so she can fly towards the life she doesn’t want dressed like a French box of wine, and the pilot gets confused and makes her leave the beret on the tarmac. After 15 hours in the air she turns the corner and greets Mahmoud, and they awkwardly clang bodies together while Nicole frets this will result in jail time. Mahmoud worries she won’t stay this time, which baffles Nicole for reasons known only to OS 16, and then he asks her to close her jacket because her lightning port is hanging out.
“I was hoping this kind of stuff wouldn’t start the minute I landed,” Nicole protests.
“But the minute you landed, you were in Egypt,” Mahmoud tries, and the groundwork has been laid for the first round of the same fight slated to take place the next ten episodes.
For two straight episodes 90DF has been burying the lead, but they simply cannot contain Debbie any longer. She’s 67 and has represented Georgia in the the Thrift Store Olympics ten years in a row, and loves the opportunity to wander the aisles and play pretend.
“I hear a different drummer drumming?” Debbie’s been doing bong rips of the good shit since Jen’s mom wore that dress wad.
Her house looks remarkably similar to the thrift store she just toured, with ornately carved room dividers, treasure chests, endless antiques, and tons of semi-precious jewelry she’s fashioned from quartz and other stones dug from quarries. Debbie also paints in a whimsical illustrator style, and hangs her creations on every uncovered wall.
“Painting is my friend. It never lets me down!” Debbie’s beam of magic scorches the crusty edges of my black heart.
Debbie’s mom had mental health issues, and so she was raised with no sense of stability. She’s spent much of her life smoking hot, and has been married twice, starting with a womanizer who fathered her son, Julian.
“You think you’re getting Prince Charming, but you could be getting the Big Bad Wolf,” Debbie writes another bumpersticker.
She was married to hubby #2 for 23 years, and they had a kid named Sandy, and they survived 80s haircuts and 110 cameras together. Then he started acting funny, so she hired a PI who discovered he had a second life and an international side-piece. Debbie got divorced and swore off men for 12 years. Then a 24 year-old named Osama from Morocco dropped into her Facebook messages to thank her for not deleting her account, to compliment her art, and to declare himself an artist when he wears this fedora, and a poet when he adds a scarf. After a few months of talking Debbie traveled to Morocco to visit him and they clicked.
“He’s like a tree who takes root in your heart,” Debbie says. “And it gets really awkward when branches shoot out of your mouth. But I love him!”
Osama proposed, Debbie said yes, and now she’s taking a shitload of vitamins to reverse the aging process, which is cheaper than injecting them in your face. In two short weeks she’s leaving, which isn’t going over well with her son Julian, who is a cop. Julian’s seen this show, and wishes his mom would pause a moment to consider why a 24 year-old Moroccan perp might propose to an elderly American. He makes his case while seated on one of the two greatest couches in the history of furniture, and Debbie sits on the other one.
“Young, lives in a third-world country, has no job,” Julian writes a compelling personal ad. “This has to be a catfish situation.”
“I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck,” Debbie believes this is reassurance.
“It sure seems like you just fell off the turnip truck,” Julian weighs the evidence.
“Well I wish you’d get on board the turnip truck so you could see what a fun ride it is!” Debbie insists, while Julian promises to dig until he finds the dirt, and once he does he’s wearing mirrored glasses for the remainder of the season.
Debbie could carry the season with no help at all, but production already had Daniele under contract, so here she comes with her concerns that Yohan’s butcher shop doesn’t have the economic potential of online yoga classes led by someone who has yet to yoga on camera.
“I believe I will accept that my butcher shop is a failure when I close it to move to America,” Yohan reads ahead.
Daniele thinks she’s sacrificed a lot that Yohan didn’t ask her to sacrifice to be with him, so if he wants to stay in this relationship he’s going to have to change the economy of the Dominican Republic. They go to look at apartments, and her demand-list for the ancestors includes two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a pool, a terrace, and parking.
“So soon she has forgotten about the mangoes!” The ancestors need her to stop revising.
They look at a spot in a building inhabited by other ex-pats, with a price tag of 191,000 pesos, or $2,000 a month. Daniele inquires about Yohan’s planned contribution, and he reports a willingness to provide 5,000 pesos, or one sacrificed breakfast.
Daniele says that if she’s the breadwinner that makes him her wife, and she wants to know if he’s going to cook for her or something, since she’s going to be very busy working at home while he’s working somewhere else. Yohan believes it’s a gift to cook for your husband, and that equality begins as he’s eating it, but if she insists they can probably get Rishi’s mother to move in, since cooking for two people is easier than cooking for six.
“Emasculation should work here,” Daniele waves her hands around, but forgets her wand.
“You also thought manifesting would work,” Yohan knows THE SECRET, and so they agree to look at other apartments until they find one that doesn’t consider Daniele’s debt load.
NEXT TIME: Julian takes Debbie to meet the person about to freeze her assets, Kris has more medical problems that sound like escape clauses to Jeymi, Isabel is uneasy about Gabriel’s determination to share his trans status, Jen realizes Rishi’s late because he’s been busy meeting potential wives, and Nicole demands to know how Egypt is still the same when she arrived on a completely different plane.
Thank you, Patreon supporters! patreon.com/fractalfay
2023.02.20 17:48 Wrong-Adhesiveness92 UK, US and other Lingerie Sales - To check out!
Hey all, just posting this as an FYI from the Etsy Lingerie blog.
Everyone should know about this and have this bookmarked. They did a great job. Of course, it was last updated on 02/18 and per user’s contributions too!
Etsy lingerie
Happy buying lingerie enthusiasts! Enjoy!
UK 🇬🇧 Lingerie Sales -
Adina Reay – 50% off selected styles
Adina Reay – up to 80% off outlet
Agent Provocateur* – up to 70% off
Ann Summers* – lingerie sale
Ayten Gasson – lingerie & swimwear sale
Belle Lingerie* – up to 80% off
Bluebella* – lingerie outlet
Bluebella* – 20% off selected items with code BB20OFF (ends 22nd February)
Bondara* – up to 50% off lingerie
Boux Avenue* – lingerie sale
Bra For Me – lingerie sale
Brastop* – up to 70% off
Buttress & Snatch – lingerie sale
Claudia May – up to 80% off
Curvy Kate* – lingerie outlet
Debenhams* – lingerie sale
Edge O’ Beyond – lingerie sale
Edge O’ Beyond – Depop sample sale
E.L.F. Zhou London – lingerie sale
Fable & Eve – 30% off selected items
Fleur of England – up to 70% off
Freya – up to 50% off
Gilda and Pearl – Depop sample sale
Harlow & Fox – lingerie outlet
Hunkemöller* – 30% off selected items
Kiss Me Deadly – lingerie outlet
Lovehoney* – up to 60% off lingerie
Lovehoney* – 10% off with code HONEYX10
Luxury Legs* – outlet sale
Marks & Spencer* – 30% off selected lingerie
Matches Fashion* – luxury lingerie & nightwear sale
Mayfair Stockings – hosiery sale
Miss Crofton – lingerie sale
Mimi Holliday – lingerie outlet
Miss Mandalay – D+ lingerie & swimwear sale
Myla* – lingerie outlet
Naughty Knickers – up to 70% off
Nubian Skin – up to 40% off
Nubian Skin – 3 for 2 on cotton collection items with code COTTONHEAVEN (ends 21st February)
Playful Promises – lingerie outlet
Pour Moi* – up to 70% off
Simply Be* – up to 60% off lingerie
Skintwo* – latex, PVC and vinyl lingerie sale
Sock Shop* – up to 75% off hosiery
StockingsHQ* – lingerie & hosiery sale
The Tight Spot* – up to 80% off hosiery outlet
The Tight Spot* – 10% off full-priced items with code SPRING10
Touchable – lingerie sale
Trubikini* – 20% off with code HELLO20
UK Tights – up to 80% off
Wolford* – outlet sale
—> US Lingerie Sales USA 🇺🇸
Agent Provocateur* – up to 70% off
Ashley Stewart* – 15% off, including on sale items, with code ASEB23 (ends 29th April)
Between The Sheets* – lingerie & loungewear sale
Boudoir by D’Lish – clearance sale
Brastop* – lingerie clearance sale
Bravado Designs* – nursing bra sale
Chantelle* – lingerie sale
Chromat – swimwear sale
Colette & Sebastian* – up to 70% off
Cosabella* – lingerie sale
Cuup* – 30% off swimwear (ends 21st February)
Empress Mimi* – lingerie sale
Hot As Hell – outlet sale
Lavinia Lingerie* – up to 70% off lingerie and swimwear
Leonisa* – lingerie & swimwear outlet
Lovehoney USA* – 10% off with code HONEYX10
Lovehoney USA* – up to 60% off lingerie
Love, Vera – 50% off everything, including sale items, with code NEWME23
Matches Fashion* – luxury lingerie sale
Montelle Intimates* – lingerie sale
Morgan Lane – outlet sale
Playful Promises* – lingerie outlet
Playful Promises* – up to 85% off warehouse sale
Sapphire Bliss – nightwear sale
Secrets in Lace* – retro lingerie and hosiery sale
Sneaky Vaunt* – up to 60% off
The End Lingerie – up to 60% off
The Pink Duchess – lingerie sale
Third Love* – up to 70% off
Thistle & Spire* – lingerie sale
Trashy Diva – lingerie sale
Uye Surana* – 20% off selected items, applied automatically at checkout
Vienne Milano* – hosiery sale
Vienne Milano* – 25% off bridal hosiery styles (any colour) with code WEDDING
Wonderlust Lingerie – lingerie and sleepwear sale
Yandy* – 15% off, including on sale items, with code 15percentYandy
Yandy* – lingerie clearance sale
-> Other Lingerie Sales!
Note that most of the brands below will ship worldwide!
Andreea Preda – buy 4 items and get the cheapest free with code SPRING2023 (Romania)
Blush – lingerie sale (Canada)
Bohemian Soul Lingerie* – 10% off everything (Spain)
Bras N Things* – up to 70% off (Australia)
Brigade Mondaine – up to 70% off (France)
Cake Maternity* – maternity lingerie & swimwear sale (Australia)
Chambres – 50% off selected items with code FENGSHUI50 (Sweden)
Dessous Dessus – 60% off selected items (France)
Fogal – hosiery sale (Switzerland)
Glamuse* – lingerie sale (France)
Helen Valk Varavin – spring sample sale (Estonia)
Kaliopi Eleni – silk loungewear sale (Australia)
KissKill – lingerie sale (Australia)
Les Rituelles – lingerie sale (France)
Lonely – lingerie sale (New Zealand)
Love Under* – 50% off almost everything (Ukraine)
Marjolaine – up to 40% off (France)
Naran – lingerie sale (Australia)
Oleanda – up to 50% off (Germany)
Pillowbook – sample sale (China)
Style Gallery – up to 75% off Lou Paris (Australia)
Tattoo Socks* – 15% off everything (Bulgaria)
Yes Undress – up to 90% off (Ukraine)
Don’t forget to subscribe to the blog for a weekly email with new lingerie sales and articles!
SHARE INSTAGRAM: @ESTYLINGERIE
Etsy lingerie
submitted by Wrong-Adhesiveness92 to LingerieAddiction [link] [comments]
Everyone should know about this and have this bookmarked. They did a great job. Of course, it was last updated on 02/18 and per user’s contributions too!
Etsy lingerie
Happy buying lingerie enthusiasts! Enjoy!
UK 🇬🇧 Lingerie Sales -
Adina Reay – 50% off selected styles
Adina Reay – up to 80% off outlet
Agent Provocateur* – up to 70% off
Ann Summers* – lingerie sale
Ayten Gasson – lingerie & swimwear sale
Belle Lingerie* – up to 80% off
Bluebella* – lingerie outlet
Bluebella* – 20% off selected items with code BB20OFF (ends 22nd February)
Bondara* – up to 50% off lingerie
Boux Avenue* – lingerie sale
Bra For Me – lingerie sale
Brastop* – up to 70% off
Buttress & Snatch – lingerie sale
Claudia May – up to 80% off
Curvy Kate* – lingerie outlet
Debenhams* – lingerie sale
Edge O’ Beyond – lingerie sale
Edge O’ Beyond – Depop sample sale
E.L.F. Zhou London – lingerie sale
Fable & Eve – 30% off selected items
Fleur of England – up to 70% off
Freya – up to 50% off
Gilda and Pearl – Depop sample sale
Harlow & Fox – lingerie outlet
Hunkemöller* – 30% off selected items
Kiss Me Deadly – lingerie outlet
Lovehoney* – up to 60% off lingerie
Lovehoney* – 10% off with code HONEYX10
Luxury Legs* – outlet sale
Marks & Spencer* – 30% off selected lingerie
Matches Fashion* – luxury lingerie & nightwear sale
Mayfair Stockings – hosiery sale
Miss Crofton – lingerie sale
Mimi Holliday – lingerie outlet
Miss Mandalay – D+ lingerie & swimwear sale
Myla* – lingerie outlet
Naughty Knickers – up to 70% off
Nubian Skin – up to 40% off
Nubian Skin – 3 for 2 on cotton collection items with code COTTONHEAVEN (ends 21st February)
Playful Promises – lingerie outlet
Pour Moi* – up to 70% off
Simply Be* – up to 60% off lingerie
Skintwo* – latex, PVC and vinyl lingerie sale
Sock Shop* – up to 75% off hosiery
StockingsHQ* – lingerie & hosiery sale
The Tight Spot* – up to 80% off hosiery outlet
The Tight Spot* – 10% off full-priced items with code SPRING10
Touchable – lingerie sale
Trubikini* – 20% off with code HELLO20
UK Tights – up to 80% off
Wolford* – outlet sale
—> US Lingerie Sales USA 🇺🇸
Agent Provocateur* – up to 70% off
Ashley Stewart* – 15% off, including on sale items, with code ASEB23 (ends 29th April)
Between The Sheets* – lingerie & loungewear sale
Boudoir by D’Lish – clearance sale
Brastop* – lingerie clearance sale
Bravado Designs* – nursing bra sale
Chantelle* – lingerie sale
Chromat – swimwear sale
Colette & Sebastian* – up to 70% off
Cosabella* – lingerie sale
Cuup* – 30% off swimwear (ends 21st February)
Empress Mimi* – lingerie sale
Hot As Hell – outlet sale
Lavinia Lingerie* – up to 70% off lingerie and swimwear
Leonisa* – lingerie & swimwear outlet
Lovehoney USA* – 10% off with code HONEYX10
Lovehoney USA* – up to 60% off lingerie
Love, Vera – 50% off everything, including sale items, with code NEWME23
Matches Fashion* – luxury lingerie sale
Montelle Intimates* – lingerie sale
Morgan Lane – outlet sale
Playful Promises* – lingerie outlet
Playful Promises* – up to 85% off warehouse sale
Sapphire Bliss – nightwear sale
Secrets in Lace* – retro lingerie and hosiery sale
Sneaky Vaunt* – up to 60% off
The End Lingerie – up to 60% off
The Pink Duchess – lingerie sale
Third Love* – up to 70% off
Thistle & Spire* – lingerie sale
Trashy Diva – lingerie sale
Uye Surana* – 20% off selected items, applied automatically at checkout
Vienne Milano* – hosiery sale
Vienne Milano* – 25% off bridal hosiery styles (any colour) with code WEDDING
Wonderlust Lingerie – lingerie and sleepwear sale
Yandy* – 15% off, including on sale items, with code 15percentYandy
Yandy* – lingerie clearance sale
-> Other Lingerie Sales!
Note that most of the brands below will ship worldwide!
Andreea Preda – buy 4 items and get the cheapest free with code SPRING2023 (Romania)
Blush – lingerie sale (Canada)
Bohemian Soul Lingerie* – 10% off everything (Spain)
Bras N Things* – up to 70% off (Australia)
Brigade Mondaine – up to 70% off (France)
Cake Maternity* – maternity lingerie & swimwear sale (Australia)
Chambres – 50% off selected items with code FENGSHUI50 (Sweden)
Dessous Dessus – 60% off selected items (France)
Fogal – hosiery sale (Switzerland)
Glamuse* – lingerie sale (France)
Helen Valk Varavin – spring sample sale (Estonia)
Kaliopi Eleni – silk loungewear sale (Australia)
KissKill – lingerie sale (Australia)
Les Rituelles – lingerie sale (France)
Lonely – lingerie sale (New Zealand)
Love Under* – 50% off almost everything (Ukraine)
Marjolaine – up to 40% off (France)
Naran – lingerie sale (Australia)
Oleanda – up to 50% off (Germany)
Pillowbook – sample sale (China)
Style Gallery – up to 75% off Lou Paris (Australia)
Tattoo Socks* – 15% off everything (Bulgaria)
Yes Undress – up to 90% off (Ukraine)
Don’t forget to subscribe to the blog for a weekly email with new lingerie sales and articles!
SHARE INSTAGRAM: @ESTYLINGERIE
Etsy lingerie
2023.02.06 19:56 SnooFloofs7801 Sexy Erotic Lingerie Stockings Women Rhinestone Fishnet Open - Etsy
 | submitted by SnooFloofs7801 to EtsyCommunity [link] [comments] |
2023.02.06 19:56 SnooFloofs7801 Sexy Erotic Lingerie Stockings Women Rhinestone Fishnet Open - Etsy
| | submitted by SnooFloofs7801 to etsylistings [link] [comments] |
2023.02.06 19:55 SnooFloofs7801 Sexy Erotic Lingerie Stockings Women Rhinestone Fishnet Open - Etsy
| | submitted by SnooFloofs7801 to etsysexy [link] [comments] |
2023.02.06 19:55 SnooFloofs7801 Sexy Erotic Lingerie Stockings Women Rhinestone Fishnet Open - Etsy
| | submitted by SnooFloofs7801 to etsypromos [link] [comments] |
2023.01.21 02:04 rethenar Oh Là Là Cheri - Thoughts
I’ve been deep digging trying to find the perfect lingerie to get my girlfriend for Valentine’s Day. I finally narrowed down the options but as I was looking through their (Oh Là Là Cheri) website, the reviews didn’t sit well with me. It’s especially tough cause the other options are between some incredibly gorgeous pieces and sets from various Etsy sellers, Lounge, For Love & Lemons, Flxsh You & Me, and Myla.
Has anyone tried their stuff recently? If so, what did you think in comparison?
Thanks in advance, much love!
submitted by rethenar to LingerieAddiction [link] [comments]
Has anyone tried their stuff recently? If so, what did you think in comparison?
Thanks in advance, much love!
2023.01.20 17:24 Baumgasr I’m a great gift giver…except for my husband. Valentine’s Day/Birthday Help.
TLDR: Husband doesn’t have a lot of interests and it makes gift giving impossible.
Alright. Four years in and I toss in the towel of trying to figure this out myself. My husband is amazing and I love him to pieces. But I can NEVER ever think of what to buy him for this time of year - both his Birthday and Valentine’s Day fall around each other.
Some context on what he DOESN’T like or have internet in: - Drinking/cigars (no nice booze/bourbon/glasses etc) - Coffee/teas (Found a cute mug or two a few times but wasn’t worth it) - Lingerie (“I’d rather just see you naked”…fair enough but $80 wasted) - Sports (no team memorabilia, tickets) - Bands/Shows (no concerts, Broadway, etc) - Movies/TV Shows (no fan-based ideas) - Nostalgia (sounds harsh, but I’ve tried to get cute things that reference milestones for us and they are all at the bottom of a box in a closet. One is a nice picture of us for his desk.) - Travel (we travel but I have seen this man carry three duffel bags because he refused to admit he needs a suit case. When I offered to buy one anyway, he got mad. I won’t fight it again.) - “Gadgets” (the dinky stuff on Etsy that seems like a good idea when I’m desperate for ideas.) - Clothes (Textures, fits, styles are really touchy for him. I’ve purchased a few items for him before but they are in the box with the nostalgia items) - Tech (Out of total desperation I bought him an iPad once. Which he uses daily and loves - WIN!! But he still comments how mad he is I spent that money on him - we were only dating at that point. I won’t buy tech again unless he absolutely needs/asks for it.) - Nice meals/dinners (“I can cook it at home” but he doesn’t and I have tried but, admittedly I am an okay cook and trying to get better! I took him to a $200 steak dinner last year and he said it was “fine.”)
Things he DOES LIKE: -YouTube (mans could watch stuff 8 hours a day) - Cooking-ish? (He doesn’t cook much anymore. I didn’t get him a nice knife once and he liked that. Once we have a house, I’d like to get a small Blackstone.) - Sleeping (loves to sleep. Loves it.) - Volleyball (he plays in a league once a week and has for a few years.) - Used to like Pokémon (got him a Pokémon ornament this year and he doesn’t he didn’t like it so maybe it’s not really an interest anymore) - Hiking (Goes a handful of times a year. Planning a mountain trip this fall together! He has all the hiking necessities though :/)
When I ask him what he wants he says “nothing.” I try to abide by that most of the time but I really just want to get him something he would appreciate sometime. He also think the “nothing” applies to getting gifts for me…and it doesn’t. He’s forgotten a birthday before and it kinda hurts my feelings. For context, I enjoy everything on this list minus Pokémon and YouTube.
Please help me!
submitted by Baumgasr to GiftIdeas [link] [comments]
Alright. Four years in and I toss in the towel of trying to figure this out myself. My husband is amazing and I love him to pieces. But I can NEVER ever think of what to buy him for this time of year - both his Birthday and Valentine’s Day fall around each other.
Some context on what he DOESN’T like or have internet in: - Drinking/cigars (no nice booze/bourbon/glasses etc) - Coffee/teas (Found a cute mug or two a few times but wasn’t worth it) - Lingerie (“I’d rather just see you naked”…fair enough but $80 wasted) - Sports (no team memorabilia, tickets) - Bands/Shows (no concerts, Broadway, etc) - Movies/TV Shows (no fan-based ideas) - Nostalgia (sounds harsh, but I’ve tried to get cute things that reference milestones for us and they are all at the bottom of a box in a closet. One is a nice picture of us for his desk.) - Travel (we travel but I have seen this man carry three duffel bags because he refused to admit he needs a suit case. When I offered to buy one anyway, he got mad. I won’t fight it again.) - “Gadgets” (the dinky stuff on Etsy that seems like a good idea when I’m desperate for ideas.) - Clothes (Textures, fits, styles are really touchy for him. I’ve purchased a few items for him before but they are in the box with the nostalgia items) - Tech (Out of total desperation I bought him an iPad once. Which he uses daily and loves - WIN!! But he still comments how mad he is I spent that money on him - we were only dating at that point. I won’t buy tech again unless he absolutely needs/asks for it.) - Nice meals/dinners (“I can cook it at home” but he doesn’t and I have tried but, admittedly I am an okay cook and trying to get better! I took him to a $200 steak dinner last year and he said it was “fine.”)
Things he DOES LIKE: -YouTube (mans could watch stuff 8 hours a day) - Cooking-ish? (He doesn’t cook much anymore. I didn’t get him a nice knife once and he liked that. Once we have a house, I’d like to get a small Blackstone.) - Sleeping (loves to sleep. Loves it.) - Volleyball (he plays in a league once a week and has for a few years.) - Used to like Pokémon (got him a Pokémon ornament this year and he doesn’t he didn’t like it so maybe it’s not really an interest anymore) - Hiking (Goes a handful of times a year. Planning a mountain trip this fall together! He has all the hiking necessities though :/)
When I ask him what he wants he says “nothing.” I try to abide by that most of the time but I really just want to get him something he would appreciate sometime. He also think the “nothing” applies to getting gifts for me…and it doesn’t. He’s forgotten a birthday before and it kinda hurts my feelings. For context, I enjoy everything on this list minus Pokémon and YouTube.
Please help me!
2023.01.19 07:51 morallyconflicted888 girly lingerie sites
I love really girly and frilly lingerie but I'm having a hard time finding that online. I mostly see more strappy stuff which I love but I want stuff that's cute and sexy.
I own this one for example: https://www.etsy.com/listing/885136282/romantic-sheer-babydoll-lace-halter
submitted by morallyconflicted888 to LingerieAddiction [link] [comments]
I own this one for example: https://www.etsy.com/listing/885136282/romantic-sheer-babydoll-lace-halter
2023.01.17 15:27 orangesetc Ethical explicit lingerie brands?
Im having trouble finding an ethically produced crotchless teddy, so I would love some help with that.
Something like this is what I have in mind.
Deeply grateful for any recommendations! I've tried etsy but it seems to be a lot from alibaba and shein just being resold.
submitted by orangesetc to LingerieAddiction [link] [comments]
Something like this is what I have in mind.
Deeply grateful for any recommendations! I've tried etsy but it seems to be a lot from alibaba and shein just being resold.
2023.01.14 23:33 segfkt Got a bra top custom made, it's too big, was told 'too bad'
Not going to name the store. It's on Etsy though and it's highly reputable. One thing about the store is that all the models are a lot larger than me. Everything is custom made, and measurements are taken. Every piece is extremely adjustable.
The store makes bra tops/lingerie to order. I submit my measurements. I actually fit into the 'S' category already but I send my measurements in case!
I receive item. I put it on, and adjust everything to the tightest it will go. Where my boobs are, it's like little baggies of fabric and looks absolutely awful on me. Only a boob job would help, since the fabric is mesh and it's supposed to show my nips a bit. Just looks so fucking sad on me. Bra was about $90 too. I immediately feel like my body just isn't the right kind of body for anything hot on top. I'm a 34B.
I ask the seller about options.. and if my bra was really made with my measurements. Not in a mean way, but "hello and thank you so much, I love this piece! Would it be okay to ask if the space for breasts was using my measurements?". And "Yes. That's too bad it doesn't fit."
I'm so.. deflated. It's like a different form of body shaming or something. I'm clearly a waify skinny person, and all the models and such on this store, including the owner, have bigger bodies than me. I absolutely love that but how come I cannot get a custom made piece for my body that fits.. I'm just so sad that my boobs continue to be too small for anything current and it's somehow just my own problem or something.
If anyone is like "you were triggered!" yes.. people have commented on my small breasts over my whole life.. they aren't even that small.. but guys have.. or been like "they're okay" or "they'll grow more" (when I was a kid etc). So yes, a bit of a soft spot (hurhurhurhur) but damn.. custom made for $90.. and "thats too bad".
submitted by segfkt to offmychest [link] [comments]
The store makes bra tops/lingerie to order. I submit my measurements. I actually fit into the 'S' category already but I send my measurements in case!
I receive item. I put it on, and adjust everything to the tightest it will go. Where my boobs are, it's like little baggies of fabric and looks absolutely awful on me. Only a boob job would help, since the fabric is mesh and it's supposed to show my nips a bit. Just looks so fucking sad on me. Bra was about $90 too. I immediately feel like my body just isn't the right kind of body for anything hot on top. I'm a 34B.
I ask the seller about options.. and if my bra was really made with my measurements. Not in a mean way, but "hello and thank you so much, I love this piece! Would it be okay to ask if the space for breasts was using my measurements?". And "Yes. That's too bad it doesn't fit."
I'm so.. deflated. It's like a different form of body shaming or something. I'm clearly a waify skinny person, and all the models and such on this store, including the owner, have bigger bodies than me. I absolutely love that but how come I cannot get a custom made piece for my body that fits.. I'm just so sad that my boobs continue to be too small for anything current and it's somehow just my own problem or something.
If anyone is like "you were triggered!" yes.. people have commented on my small breasts over my whole life.. they aren't even that small.. but guys have.. or been like "they're okay" or "they'll grow more" (when I was a kid etc). So yes, a bit of a soft spot (hurhurhurhur) but damn.. custom made for $90.. and "thats too bad".
2023.01.11 20:28 chronicmastrbatr i hate trying to find clothes that fit 😤
as a big tittied lady with a reasonably average rib cage I'd like to formally say fuck you to the lingerie industry. there are SO FEW OPTIONS for my size. i swear everything is either sized for tiny boobs or big rib cages. i just want a pretty 36M bra that i can put on and feel sexy in 😭 i did find a shop on etsy that sells custom made soft bras (no underwire) (think the shop name is loveyourbodywear) for a reasonable price but they're more for running a quick errand or hanging out at home. not really enough support for work etc
and then just in general women's clothing sizing just does not make sense. can we just use actual measurements?!? i hate having to guess or try on a million things because sizes vary from brand to brand.
tldr; i hate shopping for clothing bc nothing fits properly
submitted by chronicmastrbatr to Vent [link] [comments]
and then just in general women's clothing sizing just does not make sense. can we just use actual measurements?!? i hate having to guess or try on a million things because sizes vary from brand to brand.
tldr; i hate shopping for clothing bc nothing fits properly
2023.01.05 16:01 Least_University_439 Are there any “slow months” I should be aware of?
Hi guys! So I’ve recently started my own business on Etsy selling lingerie. The first two months were really successful (between 2-3 orders a day or every other day) however this month seems to be slow with not one order being placed. I understand that we’re just into January and I still have time left to get more sales however I’m worried that this is not a phase that’ll blow over.
Maybe I’m just anxious as I am new to this but if anyone has any advice that would be great ❤️
submitted by Least_University_439 to EtsySellers [link] [comments]
Maybe I’m just anxious as I am new to this but if anyone has any advice that would be great ❤️