Bird feeders with dome covers

Hi, I apologize if the following seems incoherent and all over the place, I am incredibly anxious that I might've eaten undercooked lamb chops. They were thawing in the fridge for several days (they were frozen when I got them but I put them in the refrigerator about a week ago) and I decided to cook them today. I used a cast iron skillet on max heat and put the lamb chops on there and cooked them for about 5-10 minutes I cannot remember exactly. I also covered it with a lid for about two minutes. I then ate them, they had a nice brown char on the outside and i couldn't see any red or pink on the outside (except the red juice that came over them when i let them rest) they were pink in the middle, some places were less pink some were more. The fat was uhhh "elastic" if that makes sense, it wasn't melting and it was pretty pretty chewy.
After eating it, i quickly started looking online and found out about Trichinosis and that has me extremely worried, i dont know what to do. Can anyone please guide me? I am sorry again if this post was all over the place.

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator.
Iman Gadzhi – Agency Incubator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Over the span of 20+ hours, Agency Incubator has training that covers EVERY aspect of building an agency. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! You name it... signing clients, running killer Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you!
The lessons inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator course include:
1. Foundations
2. Mindset
3. Systems & Processes
4. Finding Leads and Setting Meetings
5. Sales
6. Service Delivery
7. Operational Supremacy…
… and more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator.
Iman Gadzhi – Agency Incubator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Over the span of 20+ hours, Agency Incubator has training that covers EVERY aspect of building an agency. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! You name it... signing clients, running killer Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you!
The lessons inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator course include:
1. Foundations
2. Mindset
3. Systems & Processes
4. Finding Leads and Setting Meetings
5. Sales
6. Service Delivery
7. Operational Supremacy…
… and more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:

1. Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
   
2. Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
   
3. Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
   
4. Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
   
5. Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
   

The lessons in Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator will teach you how to:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

For context, on June 3,2023 (Saturday) I was outside all day decorating for a family party later on that day it started raining pretty hard and I was outside for 15 minutes. 3 days before this I had washed my joggers with new soap and new detergent. I also didn’t had underwear on only the joggers. After I went inside to change, it looked like I went swimming with my clothes on. So I changed. Later on that night I realized I had milky clumpy discharge that would cover my whole vulva, even the folds. I did the mistake of not cleaning it , I also had tiny red dots on my vulva folds. And they were itchy. But I didn’t scratched because it wasn’t intense. The next day (Sunday) the dots were gone, but I was still having milky discharge that would cover my folds, then at 3pm I noticed tiny grey/white bumps where my ingrown hairs were located, they were a bit raised, but they were really tiny that I wouldn’t notice them, until I put a flashlight on. They were located below my vulva area (ugh I don’t know how to explain) but the tiny bumps were on both sides. They didn’t hurt at all, they were a bit itchy (not intense at all) I didn’t messed with it. To see if they was going to progress. 3-4 hours later by 6:30-7 the bumps went flat, when I put my flashlight on to see, they were not bumps anymore, it went back to my normal skin but it started to look like dry skin. The next day (monday) I checked down there again and didn’t see nothing, I went to the bathtub and relax for 30 minutes in the water and when I got out, I checked down there again, and my skin (where the bumps were) was peeling off, but the skin peeling felt soft. I peeled some of it off and it didn’t hurt just itched. The next say(Tuesday) the skin was already going back to normal but the skin that was peeling was still soft. Is this hsv? My last encounter was protected and one time thing 4 months ago. I tested for HSV IGG on the 3rd month and 4 month.

If you’re a fan of drinking kombucha, save the amber glass bottles it comes in. The opening on them is standard diameter for most spray/soap dispenser pumps to screw on. Being that the bottles are amber reducing the effect light would cause on the contents efficacy. Killing two birds with one stone when it comes to staying healthy and cleaning.

I see a lot of people here asking about elk and specific units. I have a bit of advice that will help you find elk. This goes doubly hard for those of you who live out of state.
If you haven’t seen any elk you haven’t covered enough ground. Either with your eyes or your feet.
Stop asking about units. Find food Find the elk.

We just had all of our siding replaced with James Hardie plank (fiber cement). While doing our final walkthrough, we found a variety of problems, including that our outdoor outlets and lights were no longer usable due to the additional blocking around penetrations that is suggested by JH.
James Hardie guidance for electrical penetrations: https://imgur.com/Xzp95Eh
The blocking is made of James Hardie 5/4 trim that is one inch thick, which they installed on top of the electrical boxes. As a result, the outlet they put together is hanging a full inch out of the electrical box to reach the outlet cover, and it's STILL not flush with the cover. The lights also can't use the old hardware anymore because of the added inch of required bolt length.
I don't know a lot about electrical work, but I believe these outlets and lights are violating code 314.20, which says that the front edge of the electrical box shouldn't be more than 1/4" back from the finished surface. I asked the siding guys not to install the others outlet covers while I figure out the right way to do this.
​
Pictures (album):
Outlet with cover installed: https://imgur.com/vZ5FDxa
Outlet without cover, showing round outlet box and depth of the blocking: https://imgur.com/k2XoZ1V
Light electrical box: https://imgur.com/tEmFBPG
​
My question: what is the right way to adapt pre-existing outlets and lights to new blocking for James Hardie?
I've considered junction box extenders (like this one) to move the outlet box out to the edge of the trim, but this would require re-cutting the holes and the extender actually goes TOO far (past the face of the blocking). I called an electrician as well, and they said that the correct way to do it would have been to remove the old outlet boxes before siding installation and install new boxes flush with the siding. Is figuring out how to replace the outlet boxes the best path forward?

I'm back with another VRM post. The end game is here, and profits are abound!
TL:DR- Price action shows short side has gotten their fill and are systematically covering. Limited institutional investors and retail investors caught with high cost-basis can add to a violent upswing back to fair valuation. With Carvana claiming to have solved profitability it will bode well for Vroom who was focusing on rightsizing earlier and will likely be a tortoise/hare story.
If you believe in online car buying, investing in Vroom long term can be a 50x stock over the next 5-7 years.
Core concept: If online car buying is here to stay then Vroom has the potential to be a major player in a 900 billion dollar industry.
I wanted a very specific car when I was younger and I could not afford a new car. I found that car across the country and bought it sight unseen and had it shipped from CA to VA. That was in 2005.
I have friends who are deathly afraid of the car buying process and want nothing to do with it. Anecdotally the younger generations are becoming more inclined towards digital transactions.
For these reasons I believe that online car buying is here to stay and will slowly grow into a sizeable market. It may seem incredibly simple, but sometimes the most powerful ideas are just that.

1. Intro and History

Vroom specializes in buying and selling cars online. They were founded in 2012 and the IPO was in 2020 @$22/Share. Between 2020 and 2021 it they decided to bet the house on revenue growth. Now whether they thought they could outgrow their cash burn, or the executive team wanted to juice the stock price will never be known. Vroom proceeded to sell convertible notes for 600mm at .75% interest. They used that money to overpay on cars to grow inventory and revenue. Unfortunately they were not able to capitalize on any economies of scale and therefore most of the revenue was essentially wasted.
In 2022 a new CEO was introduced- Tom Shortt. Tom comes from Walmart and Home Depot and was involved in growing e-commerce. So it seems he has the pedigree and the know-how. He decided to “purposefully slow revenue” to fix the operational hurdles that lie in the path to profitability. In the past year they have done just that. Quarter over quarter the revenue shrank while EBITDA loss improved with operational fixes coming online and right sizing underway.
Last earnings call was pretty key because they put a line in the sand on the shrinking of revenue. Incredibly they shrank from 934mm revenue in a quarter to just over 200mm last quarter, however the EBITDA loss improved from -121mm to -53mm, which was their best EBITDA number in over 2 years. I know, low bar sucker, they are still losing insane amounts of cash. Agreed, and there is some risk there. Below I’ll go into detail and explain why the tides can turn oh so quick on this poor beaten down and forgotten stock. Back to the line in the sand- last quarter Tom said that they expect January to be the trough in unit sales. This is key because it indicates they have completed most of the right sizing and will start to grow revenue again.
The big question is can they become a profitable company before they run out of money? Last earnings they said they expect to have 150-200mm in cash at the end of the year. That is a bit concerning if you are currently burning 50mm per quarter. That means by end-24’ they need to raise cash which would be fairly difficult and potentially debilitating in this credit environment. On the other hand that is a fair bit of runway and a lot can happen.
BUT- if they control expenses further and have some tailwinds they can prove out the model and then the question is not can they survive but how much of the 900 BILLION dollar industry they can grow into.
My Previous post goes into a lot of detail, so I will try to keep this post to what has changed, and what potential outcomes are on the table.

1. Company Landscape

Valuation and Price Action- Detail is in my previous post- Highlights are that the current price is far below book value ($2.90) with the caveat that most of value is cash reserves so as they burn down their runway so does the book value. The presents a catch-22 in the buyout potential explained below. Even with a near 0 or negative book value, if they have shown profit the stock price will be much higher as the market is forward looking. The core valuation stays the same to me: If online buying is here to stay and it is confirmed to be a profitable model, then this is worth much more than the current price.
Price action wise with volume dying out completely there is really no weight you can put behind the price action. 900k shares traded at .80 cents is simply noise. That won’t stop the short side from taking advantage of that and try to squeeze as much out of it as possible. One event to note is that the chairman bought 500k shares, adding to his existing 300k shares a couple weeks ago. This was the first insider buy in about 2 years.
Financially- Some impactful updates: 1) While the executive team has executed the turnaround plan fairly well, the runway starts to become a concern in the medium term and could open up some downside outcomes. Even with that impact if the core concept stays true a short term cash concern is a small hurdle. Most importantly Vroom decided to take a portion of their runway and pay down the 600m notes. Vroom was able to pay off 235m of debt for around 40m. Not only does that improve the potential upside but it signals that the cash runway may not be a concern to the management team.
Growth- One thought that might be concerning is the time it will take to ramp revenue back up, especially with magnitude of backtracking. The key is to remember that the used car industry is unique in that each induvial SKU is unique and brings in a different type of consumer. This has its diminishing returns as a company gets larger, but VRM is far from that point. That is how they grew revenue so quickly before. To be clear I do NOT expect the new more responsible CEO to ramp revenue that quickly, but it will be faster than one would expect from traditional industries.
Some underlying signs of grow- Inventory has been growing since May and job openings for service sector positions has increased considerably.

1. Short Side – This recent (since 2021) explosion of interest in short sellers had a whirlwind of misinformation and I unfortunately had to learn from my failures. Fortunately I only buy shares and not options so as long as I believe in the company patience will be rewarded.

I learned that highly shorted stocks rarely mean a squeeze and likely mean further downside. When a stock shows 0 shares available to short that was touted as a sign a squeeze is imminent when in fact it was that the short side is so sure they are insatiable.
What I see now is systematic covering since volume died on March 20th. And with a very small institutional investor (27.5%) base there is a potential for an upwards spiral. Meaning it won’t squeeze but buy pressure will stay consistent until there is a signal not to. On the off chance there is a heavy retail inflow that are unexpected and there could be a swell. I am personally not betting on that, but is entirely feasible.

1. Potential Outcomes- What I like about this setup is that the potential outcomes are clear so you can place an investment accordingly.

Downside- A potential medium term downside is needing to raise cash to continue operations. For this to happen they would need to keep the current loss of 50mm per quarter through mid 2024. With the SG&A picture I find that to be an unlikely scenario. Inventory on Vroom has turned from shrinking to growing and has been consistently growing since May. Management has also said that SGA improvements are not done.
Downside- Bankruptcy- I see this as a no chance scenario. The company has been around for quite some time and has put down big roots. Yes the valuation started too high, got even higher, and was decimated, but bankruptcy is a long way from that price action. With the infrastructure they have there will be a capital solution so they can continue operations and reach profit.
Upside- Buyout – This is an interesting outcome, but as time passes becomes increasingly less attractive because of the cash burn. For example, Carvana could acquire Vroom tomorrow for $3-5 a share and it would be next to nothing if not free. That’s because CVNA could take the cash and apply it to their expensive 10% notes, take on the debt which is nothing in comparison to theirs, and then get all the infrastructure and inventory for pennies. AN and KMX could be players as well depending on how valuable the internal tech stack is to those companies. They have terrible online presence and each has expressed a want to create full Omni channels.
Upside- Profit and Beyond- Last earnings call an analyst claimed that his math shows that VRM needs to double unit sales to get to break even. The management team agreed and followed up with confirmation that there would be no need for additional CAPEX to scale to well beyond those unit sales numbers.
So what does that mean for an investor? What is the true potential upside? Well if break even is at 400m revenue per quarter (1.6bn per year) Vroom could easily be valued 1x revenue, which would put the price at around $11.50 per share and it’s not even a high valuation. While that sounds like a ludicrous and pumping statement, look at how small the moves have been recently. A forgotten stock is a short sellers dream.
I’ll finish by trying to sum up this whole post: If you believe in online car buying, investing in Vroom long term will be a 50x stock over the next 5-7 years.

So I intend on playing Fallout: New Vegas with the intention of finding every item. This includes but is not limited to weapons, armor, medical supplies, food, miscellaneous items, junk, and so on.
I intend on collecting 1 of each item and placing it in the Lucky 38. I’ve beaten this game well enough times to know the general gist of everything, but I don’t know how I’ll keep track of what I do and don’t have.
I need, like, a google document, or a really big excel sheet to keep track of this shit, because it is a lot of ground to cover.
If a sheet like this already exists, please refer me to it. If not, just comment any questions or some shit, I dunno.

Will cover everything obviously and just be in good condition

I have to make the right choice for my son and that is to leave his father. A dry drunk is as bad as a drinking drunk. I'm done with the mental abuse. He ruined all our friendships, so I have nothing to lose there. My legal team and I have my paperwork done to file, I just need to file and serve him.
Did anyone tell their spouse they wanted to "consciously uncouple", divorce, separate?? What the heck do I say?! I was thinking of just telling him at a quiet sit down in the living room that I just can't do it anymore, a decade of alcoholism and untreated depression, the trust is gone, the deadbed for 3.5 years is damaging my brain, and refusal to help with anything are all each reasons to break up and they are all the reasons why I'm divorcing him. And because an active alcoholic cannot parent.
My entire life is about to go completely and utterly to shit. I made it to what I thought was the ultimate achievement from being poor. I got my college education, even grad work, multiple career paths, a house in a affluent area, a view of the delta (having a view of the water meant you were rich when I was a kid, it was my life house goal), a husband with a killer career in an amazing union and alcohol ruined it all. I have to now destroy everything my toddler has ever known to save him from this.
I've had kidney cancer, I had a traumatic birth where docs thought baby and I weren't gonna make it, I've raised my son damn near alone because of husbands job and he was drunk the entire first year all day every day. I know I can handle anything the universe throws at me, I just want a normal life. I just want to get laid. I just want to be able to go to dinner and not count drinks and cover for the embarrassment he makes of himself. I just want to be happy again.

In Amnesia: The bunker, you’ll eventually come across a german soldier in a cell. He can avoid being devoured by the monster as an FYI.
I’m familiar with some of his lore notably that his rank insignia was cut off, he per interrogation documents the player can find insists it came off by accident and that he’s a mere low-ranking soldier and not an officer.
With the events of the game notably the Germans attacking Lambert and Henri at the beginning as they’re visibly retreating, fleeing from the crater and the seeming ever present threat from German snipers(pillbox) and the ending, what if the Germans had their own outbreak but unlike the French were able to contain it prior to Lambert becoming infected. Given its likely some of those attempting to escape would likely attempt to surrender but all of those capable of doing so seem to have been killed instead.
So I wanted to see what the German prisoner says and if it plays any significance in understanding the events of the game and if my theory is correct as it has some precedence as towards the end of the war mutinies, and throughout it disease outbreaks were commonplace but often covered up to avoid the enemy taking advantage of it.

Timestamp More pictures below
Prices are:

• Quoted in USD but invoiced in CAD equivalent.
• Via PayPal FNF or G&S with fees on top.
• Include $15 of shipping, which covers most items to CONUS, except for heavier cameras
• Reasonably negotiable.

​

Item	Price	Details
Hasselblad Stellar (RX100 MKI)	1,000	More pics - Rebadged RX100 V1 with lovely wood grip and Hasselblad leatherette. Even comes with original body stickers.
Fujifilm Tiara II	300	Mint and everything works!
Leica IIIc - Black Paint Repainted	800	More pics - Very well done black repaint (previous owner in Japan) - does not come with the lens - amazing condition, everything works including the slow shutter speeds
Leica Universal WA Viewfinder	400	More pics
Leica Macro Elmarit-M 90mm	3,000	More pics - Mint with box, comes with lens hood and cap, as well as Macro-Adapter-M
Elmarit-TL 18mm	700	Mint with box
APO-Macro-Elmarit-TL 60mm	1,000	Mint with box

​

Hey fellas! I had my engine oil pressure sending unit (part OP6737) on my 2005 replaced about 2.5 years ago to fix the oil light turning on due to low pressure at idle. I am now experiencing the same issue with low oil pressure light coming on at idle/low rpm. I was wondering if it would be “normal” for the replacement to fail after 2.5 years, or if I am most likely looking at something more in depth such as the rear timing cover gasket. Would y’all’s first step be to get a manual pressure reading and go from there? Am not the most mechanically inclined so just wanted opinions before taking it in. Thanks!!

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:

1. Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
   
2. Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
   
3. Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
   
4. Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
   
5. Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
   

The lessons in Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator will teach you how to:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

So, this is a sticky situation, and I need some perspective.
I recently purchased a BEAUTIFUL twin home built in 1915 with the intention of renting it to my brother and his family. They have 2 young children. The neighborhood is perfect, and all of the neighbors have been friendly and welcoming. It's been a dream purchase in a historic neighborhood where nothing is ever for sale. So when this home came on the market, I purchased it in cash with only a radon and insect inspection, which it passed with flying colors.
Now... here is where it gets interesting. The sellers of the home actually live in the other half of this twin. Under the same roof. So I was willing to give a little more benefit of the doubt due to the fact that they have lived there for 20 years and would obviously have kept the rental unit in good shape, after all they share a wall with it. Right?
The disclosure had a few small items... some mold remediation in 2012 (fine), and some flashing had been repaired on the roof last year. The roof was supposedly replaced in 2012.
Elsewhere on the disclosure:

• Any knowledge of defects with the stucco? NO
• Any knowledge of defect with water intrusion anywhere in the home? NO
• Any knowledge of knob and tube wiring? NO
• When was the last time the chimneys were cleaned? 2022

So, in this market, I bit the bullet based on how clean the disclosure was, having met the sellers and seeing them as a good, honest family with kids... very disarming.
Fast forward to 3 days before closing... I get a call from my agent that after the previous night's rain, there was some water in the kitchen that had come in through the hood vent over the stove. They'd have a roofer over to take a look and get back to me with a solution ASAP. Ok. No reason to panic.
The sellers came back with "the vent cap was too large and there was some backsplash coming back in through it, so we had our roofer replace it with the right size cap. Problem solved." Ok. No reason not to move forward.
The morning of the closing, we did a walk-thru and everything looked fine. Again, no reason not to proceed. So we did. The sellers wrote us a wonderful letter saying how happy they were to sell to such a great family and that they wished us happiness with the home. So nice.
A week later, I brought in some carpenters i've known forever who do amazing work on my home - I trust them implicitly. I asked them to take down the kitchen cabinets so that we could put in new ones, as these were a bit dated. No problem. One wall of cabinets came down without issue. But then, when they took down the cabinets affixed to the outside wall, there is was. A wet, horrifying stew of disintegrated wallboard, black mold, and the kind of smell that makes you want to vomit, if you havent already. It was BAD. So I told the guys, document it and rip it out. This is a serious issue and has to be remediated the right way. Immediately. There are kids living next door.
So upon doing that, over the next 2 days we discovered that the roof had been leaking for years. NOT from a vent cap. From stucco that had been badly patched and holes simply filled with caulk... the walls were never repaired. There were signs of repeated painting, and even fresh plywood laid in the bottoms of the cabinets so that no one would see that the bottoms of the cabinets were rotted through. It was clear the sellers not only knew about this problem, they actively tried to cover it up. And said NO to any knowledge of anything like this on the disclosure.
Now, a day later, a contractor working down the street popped over to say he was surprised that the cheap bastard was actually fixing things. We all froze. The seller actually solicited a bid to fix this? OH YEAH.. this guy tells us. He did, and then he said i was too expensive and he just needed me to patch it and paint it. He told us he refused because this was a structural issue that needed to be fixed.
THEN, the next day, I decided to reach out to the woman who lived in the unit prior to the sellers listing it. She went on an absolute rant about how there were always severe water and mold issues everywhere they they would band aid and never fix. She finally moved out because they were all so sick from the mold.
NOW... I know the burden of proof is high to prove that sellers willfully omitted material defects from a disclosure and deliberately lied. And concealed. The contractor cant find the estimate he gave the seller but he can attest to many conversations he had with him about it.
Have I met this burden? An attorney has told me I have, but what would. you do in this situation, KNOWING your family has to live here next to these clowns once the repairs are made?
​

my toxic ex broke up with me a second time and i feel like ultimately didn't value me, I keep wondering if she's going to comeback at some point? realizing that she lost someone who actually loved, cared, and did practically everything for her with out giving up
I had called her a few days ago and asked if the break up was really definite because I was tired of the mind games she was playing with me and I bet she didn’t notice. I felt like the false hope that she kept putting out was driving me crazy. My emotions felt so bottled in all this time not being able to express myself around her snd the painful moments she did to me. She making making it more difficult and I was trying to talk to her calmly on the phone trying to tell her how much I had deeply loved and cared for her and did so much for her. She would basically accuse me of blaming it on her even though she never took the blame for anything and never accepted the truth for what it was and not even an apology. She was so cold and still was then hung up the phone on me. She blocked me right away but before she could block me I sent her this and she read it. “ If you have tried I would have truly seen it. If you would have been there for me at my lowest and when I needed you I would have seen it. If you would have truly loved me you wouldn’t hold back your love for me saying it and in actions the many times you did. You would have not thrown me out of your house every single time I wanted to fix something with you. You would truly engaged in the things I shown you and were important to me. Lastly you would have given me the security needed. No one who cares about someone should be walking on egg shells all the time if all they wanted was love and security. I know I want farther than you and loved you deeply because I cared deeply and had always been there for you. You manipulated my heart and you tore it. You got what you wanted for now. One day you’ll realize how much I did for you and sacrificed. You hurt me, my family, and my friends and I don’t ever want to see you again in my life especially how you took advantage of me for your own gain.” I felt so bad and remorseful for sending that but I feel all the emotional damage she had caused me and continued to do was so much I felt like I was going insane. She truly played with my heart and I feel it’s her loss completely for doing that. I remember when I saw the GoId moments before in her but I feel that was covered up by her true colors :( I guess that’s why I also feel so remorseful because I’m only seeing those good moments when in reality she did more bad to me than good. I just got so frustrated with her how terrible she treated me and mostly just swept it under the carpet blindly and pretended things were still normal 😭😭 I do hope I find some one better in the future who would treat me way better than she treated me. I feel I saved my future self further pain from her I couldn’t imagine accepting being friends with her, seeing her with another guy when I had treated her so well and did everything for her. As well as living with her and marrying her if we were still in the relationship together. Days later I felt so bad sending that message, because of my heart never wanting to hurt the girl i loved so much and always caring and loving her so deeply. The insanity of my emotions couldn't handle the emotional damage she had caused me in the relationship and where i wasn't able to stand up for my self. I waited a few days later giving her some space and i also was trying to see how i could reach her because I was blocked on everything. So my brother allowed me to send this message using his phone: I want to say I'm deeply sorry, and I feel terrible to you the person I love and called my special person for these two good years. I reacted very immaturely the other day when we talked. I think I was so emotionally clouded that I couldn't think straight. I know you probably don't want to forgive me or talk to me again. I understand that. In truth I never want to burn the bridge I had with you. Even though I know we can't be lovers anymore. You know me where sometimes I over think things and do dumb things based in my emotions, something I know I need to work on. My deepest regret though is losing you who I loved so deeply. I want to love you as a friend and person that I cherished with all those amazing memories despite our challenges that made us split. I hope when you see this message you can unblock me and text or call me back. I just would like to have our numbers open so we can check on each other from time to time. I love you and care for so deeply, appreciate you, you were my first girlfriend who supported me in tough times and were there, I know we had challenging times and I accept we have to move away from each other romantically. I just would like to stay connected with you in some way. A few days later she responds with this : "Im really upset with what you said to me. I understand you have big emotions, but it doesn’t mean I will let myself be talked that way. Only for you to reflect and say sorry days later (Even though i genuinely went out of my way to say sorry) it’s just not fair. I’m going to keep you blocked for awhile because that’s the only way I can keep my boundary. I don’t know what the future holds, but I wish you nothing but the best." i'm sorry for the long passage. Is she's going to try and comeback eventually, realizing that she lost someone who actually loved, cared, and did practically everything for her with out giving up?
Whats also confusing me is that she still has pictures of us on her instagram of us and her saying
"I’m going to keep you blocked for awhile because that’s the only way I can keep my boundary. I don’t know what the future holds, but I wish you nothing but the best."
i'm hoping she'll come back one day soon, will she? Apart of me really wants to talk to her again come back to her, and the other half doesn’t. I don’t know why I keep looking at the positives,when there were so many negatives and pain she caused. i feel like its also good that she is not in my life anymore because she took advantage of me and hurt me emotionally.
Thoughts?

Our Towns Big Dam Problem [Part 1]
Do you know how some decisions in life just feel so right? Imagine a nice warm pizza right out of the oven. The pizza is covered in gooey cheese, warm meats, and whatever else will delight the eyes and nose so late into the night. So image, if you will, going out for just the briefest of seconds to enjoy the crisp feel of the fall air on your face. You come back to the apartment building that you, and appropriately 50 or 60 of your neighbors call home, only to find smoke billowing down the halls as you suddenly remember that you turned on the burner, and not the oven to preheat, and the smoke is from that pizza you left on the stove.
If you feel like burrowing down the deepest hole after reading that, just remember that you are not alone. In the last week, I have taken a job at a hydroelectric power station as an operator, which at the time felt like an easy no-brainer decision. The job description was nothing if not a little enticing. There was a hefty sign-on bonus, more money than even I thought I was worth, and housing courtesy of the Corps of Engineers, which consider the aforementioned fire above, I needed pretty badly.
My name is Kate Fugate, I am 24, and in so, so much, debt that I have moved to a small town in the northern Appalachia wilderness hoping to carve out a life here. The town is very small, having a few local stores primary consisting of convenience stores, gas stations, and dollar stores. The town is deeply forested and has recently had the honor of having this vast area be designated a National park. The houses are sandwiched into a sharp valley, consisting of a river, sprawling train tracks, and speckled with bridges of all makes and builds. If you were to come here at night, and I very much doubt you would be here at night, you might also take notice of the emergency room-slash-post office combination with twinkling neon lights. If you plan on staying here for very long, and once again, I doubt it, you should get to know the staff.
The main attraction, and the reason that I am christening this journal, is that as much as I would like to believe otherwise, this place is weird but we will get into that more a bit later. What should be the most prominent feature of the town, the dam, is actually not in town. It is about 15 miles upstream, hidden on an unmarked road nestled in a forgotten corner of the park. This fortress spans the length of the river from hill to hill, and is a huge concrete wall with an office building made of brick and a stunningly massive art -deco window spanning the two floors of this structure neatly tucked off the side like an after thought. There are massive, brilliant flood lights spanning the entire length of the dam and stretching pretty far upstream.
The concept is pretty simple, water goes in, spins turbines, and comes out on the other side, and creates the miracles that we all know and love: electricity. In addition, this place prevents flooding and is an all-around great place for serving the town as an early indicator for fires and other disasters. To make matters even more excruciatingly boring and downright fucking frustrating is that there no cell or internet connections to the dam or the cabin nearby that I get to call home. The formal answer I got back for this pile of fake manure is that the cell tower determined the population to “insignificant” to put a cell tower in this area, which I can almost buy. The sorry excuse for the internet is that the park service determines this spot too high of a national security threat and doesn’t want the risk of Russians destroying the place or something, this reasoning being absolutely shit if you ask me.
In order to still get a tiny shred of civilization, I have to climb a stairway to heaven itself up a fire tower, on a hill to get just enough Wi-Fi to keep some semblance of sanity. And let me tell you, my ass is burning, my tounge is dry, and my lungs are one iota from exploding from the effort, and it is worth it.
My first day here started off with my coworker, Sam, showing up two hours late for our designated meeting. He was dressed in bright white pants and a striped plunging v-neck tiger shirt and I would be lying if I didn’t say my first impression was trying to find a camera crew, because I was just certain that someone was trolling with me. He was average height, approximately 35, black hair, blue eyes, and very well groomed hair, and huge muscular arms and, all-in-all, gave off an energy that he thought he was a very pretty boy.
We shake hands, before he cocks his head and give me a quizzical look, “Hey I noticed on your paperwork, is your name actually —“
I cut him off hard and fast, “Yes, it is. My parents were a bit, well, downright eccentric, alright? Don’t use that name, don’t even remember it alright. Do me a favor and call me Kate, Katie if you prefer.”
He looks a bit taken aback and I feel a shred of remorse for the hostility, “Can do, may name is Samuel Carrington but Sam sounds more approachable if you wouldn’t mind using that.”
We take a quick tour of the facility going into the offices, him quickly pointing out the landlines, emergency switches, exits, ect. He goes over the more technical aspects of the job, but then stops right before going into the turbine room, looks me dead in the eye with more seriousness than I thought was possible.
“There are only a handful of rules you absolutely must follow:
​

1. 1. Treat the equipment well, it is fucking EXPENSIVE and a lot of it is specialized. There is no hydroectric repair store just sitting around the corner.
2. 2. Do not leave the site. I am dead serious about this one. Do. Not. Leave. The. Site. The only time you can leave is if you have someone competent here. I am only here two days a week as I have other obligations with the government, as you know the rest is up to you until we can get more people here.
3. 3. Don‘t turn off the turbines for any reason. There are people downstream that stake their lives on the continual operation of this place.
4. 4. If, for whatever reason, this place can not operate due to exceptional circumstances, or can no longer contain the river you must activate the emergency system. In addition to letting out an alert, it allows for people to know in advance to get to higher ground. This is critical, we are the only thing preventing everyone downstream a brutal watery demise.“

We head continue the turbine room talk about more dull operating procedures and then stop by a small office space.
Sam stops and swings open the door which reveals all of a tiny efficiency apartment. “This is my room while I am here, if you need anything feel free to swing by.” He gives me a wink as I contemplate vomiting on his stupid gold tasseled shoes “We have a cabin for you since no other apartments exist and it was left furnished by my last guy.”
We walk a short gravel path uphill to a small old cabin with a porch. He swings open the door, leaving very little to the imagination. Bed and mattress, fridge, stove, fill nearly all the available space. Right smack in the middle of the table sits a pissed off mostly hairless cat, that jumps off the table gives us a hiss for good measure and runs off into the woods.
“Look, we can probably get rid of that if you want. I have no clue how it got in here, or hey, look at it this way! You already have a built in roommate! Feel free to decorate this place anyway you want, if you want I can go get us some food, and I can help you move in. Tomorrow I can go on a grocery run.”
I open the cabinet to find an assortment of canned oddities left over from the last occupant.
“No, that really won’t be necessary, but thank you so much for the offer.” I say trying to be nice. And then the thought occurred to me that this guy is being perhaps a bit too friendly. “Hey, is it alright if I have some, umm, well, overnight friends over? Very special female friends?” I asked trying to be subtle to see if that would discourage him.
“Well douse me in gasoline and toss me a match. Are you a lesbian? That is so freaking awesome! I love chicks too, how cool is that? I shoulda known what with the flannel and pickup truck.” He says, totally oblivious to my growing acceptance that this guy was mostly harmless, if not a touch stupid. Sam cracks open the fridge, and rapidly shuts it back, as a slightly warm pungent smell swaggers into the room. “Yeah, definitely gonna get some real groceries tomorrow.”
“Yep, that’s me, I’m a super lesbian.” I lie feeling like this statement may come back and haunt me. I turn on the kitchen facet as black water spills out.
Sam looks at it a little concerned, “Might want to let that run for a bit, if it doesn’t clear soon, I’ll look into having it fixed. But look, seriously, if you need any help at all, don’t hesitate to call. This place is pretty spooky and it is easy to get hurt or in trouble out here. I’ve only been here about 3 months and my last coworker got pretty messed up. I liked him pretty well and it is an easy, if not boring job but it can take a toll.” Sam stepped out on the porch shooting a slightly nervous look at the woods before looking back at me.
I waved him out, “It is alright, I’m fine, I can take care of myself. I will see you bright and early in the morning.” Sam nodded at me with me with a warm smile and made the short trek back to the dam.
Night swiftly fell, and I was clutching my stomach off loading the contents into the porcelain alter for a cruel sadistic god. I hadn’t checked the expiration date too closely before downing a can of beef tounge I had found in the cabinets, which in retrospect was such a fuckingly stupid move on my part. I stepped back into the main living area to see just a swift glint of metal, before listening to the “Crash” as my widow was busted in and a hand swiftly unlocked the door from the inside.
“Shit, this is real bad.” My brain thought. As my body tensed for a fight, in walked a figure in a green ranger uniform. The guy was 26-27, 5’11, light brown hair, green eyes, fair skin. He looked absolutely furious but satisfied.
“I got you now, you jackass arsonist.” He says, grabbed me by the arms and tossing me on a stuffed chair hard. I feel a flash of pain on my ass as I land. “Damn, I realllly hope that wasn’t a needle.” I think as jump back up. Now, he looked back at me with with sheer bewilderment in his eyes. “OH shit, oh shit, I am gonna die.” I feel dread sneak into me as scramble looking around.
I take up a knife from the counter and plunge it into his hand. He lets out a yelp and given me a kick to my already twisted stomach. ”This is it.” I think as I land on the ground, and take the chance to grab his leg while it is still in the air. I push forward as he stumbles backwards.
“Wait, but your not -“ he tries to slide out of the cabin but I pull down his socks and bite like a rabid dog, with all the energy I had. I taste a glint of metal. He starts really letting his lungs work now before coming to his senses again and grabs a fire extinguisher off the porch and hits me squarely with it. My vision swiftly faded to white after that.
My next memory has me coming back to consciousness in a hospital room. I am under a blanket with cows on it, and look over to see a shitty thin blue curtain with yellow ducks on it. As I try to piece back my memory, I hear a commotion on the other side of the curtain.
One female voice nearly splitting my ears says, “Are you a dumbass? You look like one to me dumbass. You obviously weren’t thinking, dumbass. God, what a dumbass.”
Another male voice joins in, ”A girl, you beat a harmless girl senseless. And the poor thing was starting the job at the power plant. If you weren’t in already in the hospital, I’d put here, but to be fair that would make Dr. Sanders work harder, and unlike you I actually like the guy.”
An older man wearing a white coat comes in about this time who I presume is the aforementioned individual, gives me the mouth zipping motion, a wink and walks to the other side of the curtain.
“Well, she’s dead. You may as well see your handiwork.” The old doctors says.
A younger voice pipes up, “B-B-But it was an accident. I didn’t mean-“
The curtain flies open to reveal two police officers, a short and slightly heavy male and a tall African American woman. Both looking ready to kill the park ranger in bed with his hand bandaged up. The young man looks at me absolutely horrified. I can’t help but let out a small snicker at the scene.
The white haired doctor cracks up at the look of pure indignation I shoot park ranger.
“She’ll be fine.” He says. The two officers looked a bit more at ease. Dr. Sander then goes on to say after sitting down on the edge of my bed, “You spooked us just a bit there, that one over there” he points to the park ranger, “sprayed you down with a fire extinguisher and caused some temporary asphyxiation.”
The guy piped up, “I am so so so sorry. My name is Reuben, call me Ben. I’m so sorry, I had you mistaken for someone else. I’ll make this up to you. I really really fucked this up. Please don’t hate me,” he says. He was genuine, I fully believed that.
“Glad you said, that Ben, because I’m pretty sure I need a door now. My name is Katie.” I went over and gave him a light smack to the back of the head.
Dr. Sanders gave a puzzled look and picked my chart off the bed, “Wait, isn’t your name -,”.
I stopped him, “Yep, it is, please for the love of all that is holy, just don’t.”
After that, the female officer who’s name I learned was Talia, dropped me back off at the dam the next morning. Sam who had only the vaguest of ideas of what had gone on that night was filled in by Talia of the rest of the details and she quickly leaves afterwards leaving a cloud trail in the gravel.
“Well,” Sam says “I guess this means your leaving.”
“Are you kidding?” I say, “I only just got here.”
Sam cracks a wide smile, “You’re in luck then, I forgot to show you something yesterday.”
We go into the dam, down into the basement under the water level under the turbine rooms. I gasp as I look into the room, it was beautiful. There was a massive window looking out underwater. I could swear for the slightest second though that a fish swam by, displaying three eyes, and a sharp row of teeth. I knew in that moment that this river holds terrible and dark secrets and I had not even dipped toe in them.
This is Katie, signing off, until next time.

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