How did kristin cavallari's brother die
2019.07.21 09:03 Scott Army
All hail scott
2023.03.21 00:04 CampPlane 95 year old grandma took her life yesterday
Up till the age of 90, my grandma was physically capable, walking around her neighborhood with her stroller. Mentally spry until a few weeks ago. Then at 92, just over three years ago, we had a scare during a family lunch at her house where she passed out unresponsive in her wheelchair. It ended up being due to low blood pressure but I had to call 911 in the moment. Since then, I kind of mentally and emotionally prepared myself that her days were numbered and she could die any day. Over the last few years, her physical health has slowly but surely declined to the point where for four weeks in January and February, she had to be hospitalized and spend time in a retirement center under supervision. When she’s at home, she’s not active at all. Only getting out of her recliner to go the bathroom or bedroom. It got to a point where a couple months ago, she couldn’t even get herself up out of her recliner and had to call one of my parents over, since they literally live next door. For her, she didn’t want in-home care or be at a “old person” center. She just wanted to get home. During those four weeks, because she had to have more physical activity than when she’s at home, she was easily able to get out of chairs and bed and such. Then a few weeks ago, she made it home….then got lazy again. My brother visited her on Thursday and noticed she was forgetting how to use the TV remote, a sign to him that she is started to losing her mental cognition. Saturday night, both of my parents called my grandma to confirm that he and my uncle (her two sons) were coming over to confirm the plans for the retirement community she was going to go to. She always resisted have an in-home provider or going to a community, but she seemed finally accepting of it.
Well, she changed her mind. My mom visited her at 12:40pm yesterday and found her sleeping and not responding to “mom.” My mom found a note on her stomach: “Love to all. I have to take my life as I cannot live alone. I have no regrets.”
I was next door at this time talking with my dad when my mom came back distraught, uttering the words of the note before we ran to her house. I ran and kneeled next to grandma’s recliner, grabbing her left arm to feel her pulse and looked at her face for any sign of breathing or life…but I knew immediately. She had breathed her last breath sometime in the past thirty minutes to a few hours. There were empty painkiller bottles close by her, and while we’ll learn in a few weeks, I suspect she took a lethal dose of the medication and comfortably and peacefully passed out and died.
I accepted and respected her decision while kneeling there. 95 years old with a family where everyone is healthy and doing well, and six great grandchildren. She was done with her life. She didn’t want to feel like a burden on anyone and chose to end her life.
My parents in the moment couldn’t believe it. I don’t think they could believe my grandma would have the balls to actually end her life, especially when in the last 72 hours, she showed no sign of “giving up” and based on the note, I think she came to this decision that very morning, knowing her sons were coming over later that day.
It’s been tough, but all of us are at peace. She lived 95 years, always in touch with family, and came to the point where she was done with life, as there was nothing left for her but to have to be cared for. And she got to end her life on her terms in probably the most ideal way to go - high as a kite at home.
For me, I don’t really grieve for grandma. She lived and loved for nearly a century and got to choose to end her own existence. I grieve for my dad and mom. Especially my mom. She was the unofficial caretaker for grandma the last thirty years after grandpa’s death. Naturally, my mom was distraught as we were there looking at her lifeless body and the thirty minutes after as I called 911 and spoke with the guys who came. As a child, it was mom who would comfort and console me, rubbing my back, rubbing my head and hair. Life came full circle. It was my turn to comfort and console momma, rubbing her back, rubbing her head and hair while she cried.
It was weird. I knew as soon as I grabbed her arm, there was no life. I entered this weird sense of calm and knew I needed to guide mom and dad through this event. I told my dad to call his brother, I called 911 and walked my mom to a different room while on the phone, told my dad to call one of my brothers while called the rest of my siblings, then went next door to get my mom a big glass of water.
I didn’t want to be emotional in front of family yesterday, so I finally got bawl my eyes out this morning. I knew if I wasn’t there, I don’t know how my mom and dad would’ve handled those 30 minutes after seeing my grandma’s body. I didn’t realize until today how much I compartmentalized my emotions all day, keeping calm for my parents, answering questions that I could answer from the firemen, cops, and coroner.
I’m feeling a lot better, but I can’t stop feeling grief for my parents and uncle. I’m sure I’ll feel better by the end of the week, or month, or year. But yeah, it was a heavy day.
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2023.03.21 00:03 ranger_from_th_north Rowan VI - The Way is Dark...
Oldtown, 6th Moon, 200 AC
Lord Athos Rowan had hardly slept on the road to Oldtown. Though the nights had been peaceful and his men had kept careful vigil, he had found himself laying awake. Every time sleep would take him into its dark embrace he found himself having the same nightmare.
It started with a memory, a recent memory.
"Why are you leaving Father?"
Athos had been making arrangements when his youngest son Brandon had asked him the question.
Because I am afraid.
Athos put on his fatherly smile and turned to his children. Brandon had been sitting on the floor with his twin Myranda, setting up their play soldiers. Alys had locked herself in her room in annoyance.
"Well Brandon, I'm taking Cersei to Oldtown, there is a possible marriage opportunity for her there."
"See? I told you," Myranda remarked, she looked back at Athos, "I did tell him Father."
"Shut up!" yelled Brandon, throwing a small soldier at his sister. It missed but it was provocation enough for Myranda to pick up her own toy to throw.
"Now, now," Lord Athos stepped in and took the toy from Myranda's hands, "Listen to me closely."
He took the two children and brought them close, "You are family, that's important. Whenever life gets difficult we must be able to turn to family for support."
He hesitated only for a moment before continuing, "Like how I know your Uncle Bors will watch over you while I'm away."
He turned the two children to face him, "Now, can the two of you promise me that you'll keep from fighting and stay together? Watch over one another?"
Here was where the nightmare deviated from the memory. In the memory, Myranda and Brandon had both promised to look after one another and given their father a somewhat tearful hug.
In the nightmare, the children smiled but did not say a word. Instead their eyes began to grow gray until they became pale white and blind. They opened their mouths to speak as blood poured out. A horrible disembodies voice echoed in Athos' head,
"You have doomed us to die, saplings choked by vines. Watch you we will, until death is thine."
As the voice spoke, Athos backed away in horror as his children's body began to immolate in front of him. The heat so strong and the light so bright that he would wake, sweating and his eyes sensitive to the phantom light of his dream, only to be calmed by the still dark of his tent.
The Rowan entourage approached the gates of Oldtown, it's massive walls stretching towards the sky. Lord Rowan road up to the guards with two of his men and handed the letter he had received with the signatures of Ser Victor and Lord Urrathon to one of his guards, to show to the Oldtown guards.
"Lord Athos Rowan and his daughter the Lady Cersei have been invited to Oldtown per the invitation of Ser Victor Hightower and Lord Urrathon Hightower."
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2023.03.21 00:03 No_Carob_8550 (SPOILERS) RANT: yeah, the story of Bayonetta Origins was amazing
I still love Bayonetta 3 but I would he lying if I didn't say the narrative is the weakest in the entire series. The narrative left me really worried about the future of the series because it just wasn't good, or at least it was fine before the later chapters.
and yet, Bayonetta origins had an amazing story which suggests me the Bayonetta 3 ending was nothing more than a misstep. I'd love to discuss about it.
- Lovely development for Cereza and Cheshire:
the most relevant sub-plot of the game is the bond between Cereza and Cheshire and Cereza growing confidence, starting from what appears to be an unlikely pair growing attached to each other and overcome monsters togheter. It was just so entretraining all-along and it was consistently well-written it was an amazing story to unfold.
- Morgana, best villain in the franchise so far:
one of my biggest issues with Bayonetta's story is the generic power hungry main villains we have in each game. Jubileus wants to re-build the universe, Loptr wants the power of the eyes to control destiny and Singularity wants to destroy the world to make his own. I guess it fits an over the top series like Bayonetta but it's just unimpressive and it gradually got worse with each game. Morgana is completely different, she has actual motivations to behave like she did and her presence in the game is so grand she's basically in control of everything that happens in the main story, excluding Cereza and Cheshire's friendship
- answering plot points Bayonetta 3 left unanswered:
because it's confirmed Origins Cereza is the Cereza from Bayonetta 3 the plot has a strong connection to that game. we all know 3 has many (too many) unanswered plot points and I'm surprised Origins was successfully able to convey most
of them. The world of fairies and Cereza's bond with it? answered Cereza's weirded reaction when she met Cheshire? answered How did Bayonetta 1 and 2 make it to the finale and what happened when they left? answered How can Singularity control destiny? answered (though I'd like to talk about it in-detail later) How is Bayonetta alive if she clearly died in 3? Eeeh, answered? that's debatable
the only thing I wish was expanded more was the connection between Luka and Lukaon. how are they related if Lukaon's entire family died? I guess he wasn't the only one who comes from both human and fairy blood?
considering it was the most relevant plot point about faeries before Origins it was a missed opportunity to not expand on it. I've heard people saying Lukaon is Luka's re-incarnation
but I don't recall anything in the game stating or even implying that.
- Jeanne's chapter, why Singularity and his appearance are important.
"the world he created is vanishing! was it all an illusion?"
It's always nice to play as Jeanne she's playable in the main story after you unlock her unlike 3 lol
but singularity being a thing, to me, was actually good. One of the powers Singularity possessed in 3 was "the ability to control phenomenons", that would be cool it it would make zero no matter the context sense because that's something the eyes of the world should be doing in the series
Jeanne's chapter shows Singularity never really had the power to control any phenomenon, which is better this way. Singularity is supposed to represent what the finale of Bayonetta 2 left to us. after the eyes got destroyed it's up to humans to decide what will happen to the world, according Loki they will do good while according Loki it's foolish to let them. Singularity is meant to embrace that, the representation of humans' foolery, a cybernetic mistake who wants to wipe out the universe because it's a result of a mistake by humans themselves rather than having a fate-controlling power. 3 was rather vague in that regard, glad Origins finally cleared it up. Jeanne is ready to fight her destiny no matter what it is, it's a common theme in the series since the first game with both her and Cereza
and her relationship with Cereza was wholesome.
So that's it, I love the plot of this game. Among the Bayonetta games we have so far I think Origins is on the upper half when it comes to story. though I think it should've released before 3 because its story is less scary when you know some extra context Origins gives you.
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2023.03.21 00:00 cherryariesxo i (30f) found out he was married (32m)
3 months ago i found out that the guy i had been seeing for 2 months was married. i was devastated. we talked a LOT, and spent a lot of time together. when i found out, i told the wife. for some context, she travels out of the country often and they spend months apart. they are more of a long distance couple at this point. they are a legit couple but got married for her green card. when i told the wife, she was very kind, thanked me for telling her but said she wanted no details as her dad was in the hospital… her dad died the next day :/ so i don’t blame her for not wanting to deal w this… he ghosted me and i never heard anything from either of them. that was around christmas . 3 months later i’m still stalking her story (i know) and i see she has forgiven him. they are together now, she posted a story saying “so happy to wake up next to this wonderful man”. Like GIRL. your man is out here in the streets! how can you say that! knowing he was lying about his life & plotting & manipulating women into sleeping w him while you’re away. Maybe she can get over it but i’m not.
one of my friends thinks i should send this:
“i’m sorry girl but idk how you can say that. He came on so strong pursuing me just for me to find out he’s married, and then ghost me. And never even say anything. If he was just looking to fuck, he shouldn’t have stayed the night (both nights), keep hanging out the next day, take me to the airport, and shower with me. It shouldn’t have to be said that all of that is misleading, and CREEPY knowing what i know now.
I think back to things he randomly said that made me wonder why he would say that. One being “yeah i need sex like once a week” and the other being “yeah i could commute to LA once a week.” These are things he said over the phone when he was calling me every night . He clearly was plotting to find some girl he could have consistent casual sex with while you’re away. For him to do everything he did for ZERO regard of how it would affect other people is absolutely psychopathic behavior. For him to go that out of his way to lie about who he is and manipulate women into sleeping with him is absolutely insane. I just want you to know none of this is directed toward you and that I completely respect you and however you chose to deal with it & the only reason I’m even saying anything is bc i was pretty hurt and shocked by the situation and I do have questions. I get if you don’t wanna respond to this either. But this whole situation was weird for me and I wish he would’ve just not tried to see me again after being confronted. “
Some friends are saying i need to let it go, others are saying i should send it. Give me some honest feedback please . I know i should move on focus on myself and let it go. but he is a PSYCHOPATH who tricked me into sleeping w him, said he wanted a relationship etc.
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2023.03.20 23:59 LifeguardDonny Estranged for 10+ years.
I've been NC for 8 of 12 years and i guess bumped up into VLC in the last 4 years considering i called my dad a few times since. Today was the first time in 2 years. Before today, the last time i called him, i was sitting in a tent homeless. Since then, I've been to rehab and gotten off the streets, but I'm still a very broken human. We share a passion for cars and for a few years during the NC phase, i managed to wind up with 2 custom cars. Now that both are out of my life due to bullshit, i feel like i missed an opportunity to show what I've done with his garage teaching as i grew up. My little sister is in her 2nd year of college and already loving traveling alone like i did when i left and my little brother sounds like he's on his way to becoming a solid basketball player if he keeps it up. Then there's the practice child that i am. My dad did his absolute best and i don't fault him at all for having to raise me by myself until my stepmother came along, but at this point, i feel like a complete failure and i guess I'm fine with it. I haven't told my father about anything I've gone through because he is older and i would hate to weaken his heart. Hell he might already know considering my track record in school was abysmal. Held back twice, only got Honor Roll twice ( guess which 2 times ahaha ), pretty much had a fight almost every grade until i eventually dropped out in 10th grade due to moving in with my aunt. The last thing i want to tell him is that his first son is an alcoholic pothead who tried to commit suicide 5 times in 12 years and is about to run out of fingers and toes to count how many times he's been in the psych ward.
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2023.03.20 23:59 Nothinbuttime12 I resent everyone in my life, and hate my life.
I resent everyone in my life, and hate my life.
Title pretty much says it all. From no fault of their own it's how I feel.
My wife, my friends, my family, anyone with aspirations, kicking goals, happiness etc. Makes me pissed off or mad.
I'm in a rut and have been for the last 3 years.
I was in an awesome job for 12 years and due to a medical illness I was fired at 32 years old (35 now), I was given a pension for the rest of my life. Some may say thats great, but I can't work again or I lose it.
So I'm stuck.
My condition prevents me from driving. I drove once 3 years ago and had a car crash at 80km an hour with my kids in the car hitting a tree and nearly killed us all. This is why I can't drive anymore.
I have an awesome wife who is succeeding immensely in her job and university, which makes me feel like more of a failure because I'm achieving nothing in her shadow. My kids are straight a students and I'm in their shadow as well.
Everyone tells me to find a hobby etc etc, that does nothing in regards to finding purpose. Purpose is what drives the human experience. A hobby isn't purpose. It's what we do outside of our purpose.
I'm just stuck and need a vent. Any advice will help. If anyone has been in a shitty spot like this how did you get out of how did you unstick yourself.
Honestly feel I'll just be here til I die. At 35 it's a long way to go til that happens
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2023.03.20 23:58 ooh-aah-cantona The 10 coincidences that link Resident Evil and COVID - a dead theory resurrected - the occult symbolism of the elite exposed for the general public - more to be added in due course. These signs are not to be taken lightly - something deeper is definitely afoot. Looking forward to hearing opinions..
| || |Intro submitted by ooh-aah-cantona to conspiracy [link] [comments]
In December 2019, when the COVID virus started to gain media attention and turn from just a simple problem into a worldwide issue, people started to join the dots. Some of those dots were connected to the franchise Resident Evil.
But later on it was quickly dismissed as being simply paranoia. The Only links people made were a simple anagram and a logo, 'debunked' by sceptics.
In this post, I will explain not only those links but the multiple other links that have never been truly realised or mentioned. These links have accumulated significance through the last 3 years.
It is my belief that these multiple links are examples of occult symbology, placed in plain sight to let us know that this is far from just a random event. Similar examples of symbology exist throughout various other false flags, hoaxes and orchestrated events by the elite, and COVID is no exception.
Please allow me to delve deep into the multiple similarities and coincidences within the COVID story and it's apparent association with Resident Evil.
So, without further ado, let's get started: Plotline
In the franchise Resident evil
, a virus
is created by a pharmaceutical company called "The Umbrella Corporation"
which turns many of the residents of the city into zombie-like creatures.
Of course there's no prizes for guessing how this relates to theories surrounding the Corona Virus. By now we can be confident in saying that the Corona virus
originated in the Wuhan lab
, regardless of the various other stories the media try to push on us.
puts players in the middle of Raccoon City where a virus is turning people into the living dead. A company called the Umbrella Corporation created the virus in a biotech lab in hopes of creating a biological weapon. The virus eventually leaks out, rapidly infecting anyone it comes in contact with, turning the infected into bloodthirsty zombies." ~ CBR DJ Kaled advert from 2019 Anagram
The main city in Resident Evil and the only setting for Resident Evil 1 is called Raccoon City
. Another spelling for 'Raccoon' is 'Racoon', with 1 'C' - if you rearrange the letters, you get.... CORONA Racoon Anagram Logo's
Originally people thought that the logo for the Wuhan Lab was the same as the Umbrella Corporation. Eventually this was debunked as being untrue, but it turned out that there was a lab, 500 miles from Wuhan called RLSW. The logo is exactly
the same... RLSW Logo (Left), Umbrella Corporation logo (Right) C-19
In Resident Evil Survivor 2 CODE: Veronica
there is a room called C-19
in the Clock Tower
stage of the game.
Most conspiracy theorists will be aware that the film Back to the Future 1 is absolutely riddled with 9/11 symbology. The finale of this film is solely based on one part of the town: the Clock Tower.
The reason for this being that it is a 'wink' to conspiracy theorists. Surely you would have to do two things to pull this off - either know much further in advance the event was going to take place, or be able to time travel. Hence 'Back to the Future' and the 'Clock' Tower. This is a symbolic reference to not only the film and it's symbolic relevance, but also the ability to link multiple events together, for the purpose of occult symbolism.
You can see a good documentary regarding BTTF symbolism by clicking this link. C-19 room circled top left Medical Packaging
The makers of Resident Evil are Capcom. One of the companies that provide medical packaging for delivering Covid-19 samples, is called Com-Pac. What is Com-Pac
an anagram of? You guessed it - Capcom. Com-Pac Logo
You can see the page on their site describing their medical packaging for delivering Covid-19 samples by clicking this link. Vaccine
Lets remind ourselves at how dangerous the vaccines have proved to be. People have become seriously ill and some have died as a result of taking it. In the original game, there is an anti-virus bomb.
This could easily be a symbolic reference to the dangers of the vaccine.
The Anti-Virus Bomb in Resident Evil 1 Virus Similarities
Here is an exert from a Windows Central article posted May 11, 2020, much of which would have made sense in terms of debunking then, but which seems much more relevant now;
"There are a lot of similarities between the T-Virus at the heart of the early Resident Evil games and COVID-19
, which is currently making its way across the world's population. Obviously, the T-virus is worse than COVID-19 since it's always fatal and turns you into a member of the undead, but both diseases elicit similar paranoias
. Both can be prevented by ensuring people don't go outside and exposing yourself to others, which puts you at risk of contracting it and then spreading it to others.
In the Resident Evi 3 remake, Jill Valentine, a S.T.A.R.S. officer in Raccoon City, teams up with members of Umbrella to help rescue survivors. The problem is that, as Mikhail Viktor of the U.B.C.S. says, most will become members of the undead. This is standard pandemic fare. As the population waits for a cure, many will die.
Depending on the severity of the illness at the pandemic's core, it could be millions. Across media, a pandemic could mean the end of the world, whether you're looking at the Planet of the Apes prequel trilogy or The Walking Dead.
The difference is that in the real world, pandemics have been temporary
. The Black Death swept through Europe and killed millions, but Europe continued on anyway. The influenza epidemic of 1918, the last disease to sweep through the U.S. in a way similar to COVID-19, did not turn the country into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Even though we've faced doomsday events throughout our history, we still managed to survive. This will remain true with COVID-19, even after massive suffering
It's certainly not the case with the T-virus in Resident Evil, which not only kills a lot of people but reshapes the world
with destruction. The pandemic becomes the new normal for people in that universe
, and only you can stop it." ~ Windows Central
The text can be seen by clicking this link here.
The below image from Resident Evil 3 is symbolic of the power the Corona Virus has over the minds of the general public. Resident Evil 3 Lowest US Life Expectancy Since 1996 Linked to COVID-19
What video game franchise started with it's first release in 1996? Resident Evil 1.
How strange then, would it be, keeping in mind everything I've detailed above, that the US life expectancy is at the lowest it's ever been since 1996, and that these studies have been linked to C-19?
"During this period, US life expectancy dropped to about 73 years for men and to about 79 years for women, the lowest levels since 1996. Three-quarters of overall life expectancy lost during this period was attributed to COVID-19 deaths, according to a CDC statement
. The deaths contributed to a growing gap in life expectancy between US men and women, which increased from 4.8 years in 2010—the lowest ever recorded—to about 6 years in 2021." ~ Jama Network
You can see the full article by clicking this link. C-19 sampling in action Redfield
In Resident Evil, one of the main characters is Chris Redfield
. In the Investigation of Umbrella,
Chris Redfields mission is to destroy the Umbrella Corporation lab.
Then 2 weeks ago, in a real-life scenario, Dr Robert Redfield
comes forward explaining how the COVID origin story doesn't require any further investigation, and that it definitely
came from the Wuhan lab. Symbolically, what Redfield is trying to do is to destroy the Wuhan lab's
reputation. Chris Redfield (Top), Dr Robert Redfield (Bottom) Raccoon Dog
2 weeks after this story breaks, and everyone is pretty much convinced that the virus came from the Wuhan lab, suddenly a new story breaks. That it didn't come from the lab, but that it came from a Raccoon dog.
Possibly the most absurd twist in the story. Why is this only being mentioned now and where did this strange story come from? It seems like too much of a coincidence, especially now since we know the relevance between the Corona Virus and Raccoon City. News Story Results Regarding the Raccoon Dog on Google
Ok, so that's 10 extremely strange coincidences in total listed here, and I believe there are more that I am currently working on and will be adding in due course.
The odds of all these elements becoming apparent are on an astronomical scale, and could only possibly be noticed if they truly bared significant relevance to COVID.
It is my belief that these multiple coincidences are symbolic references, showing us not only who is in control, but also at the same time absolving the cabal of their wrong doings. You can find out more about this by looking deeper into the occult practices of the elite.
I look forward to hearing everyone's opinions on all of this. Coincidence? I think not. Is something deeper afoot? Most definitely.
Yours, Cantona-Lynx 1084 If you have anything that you feel needs adding, please let me know. If I think it is relevant enough then I will add it to this post.
2023.03.20 23:58 OneAlternate AITA for comparing my older sister to my younger brother?
Hello. For reference, My older sister (A) is 18, I’m 17F, we have another sibling (B) who is 13, and then our brother (C) is 10.
A has always been extremely picky with food. As kids, she never ate vegetables, and it was a constant battle between her and my parents. She would throw out her vegetables every night. She still orders off the kids’ menu at restaurants. Me and B are not as picky, we still have foods we don’t like but it’s not as crazy. We can attend family dinners without any issue. Then, when C came along, my parents had given up. They fought with him for 8 years, but they eventually gave up on A and C, and just let them eat whatever they want. C can be kind of spoiled sometimes with no consequences for bad grades, and it can get annoying when he throws tantrums.
I cook dinner once a week because I like trying recipes, and I always have to make a separate meal. C won’t eat anything with cheese, eggs, or bread, A won’t eat meat, rice, most vegetables, or anything with “sauce”(she isn’t vegetarian, it’s a day-to-day basis and we have to guess if she doesn’t like meat that day), so no salad, soup, pasta, etc. I have to make them a separate meal of plain noodles.
Today we had fish. I can tolerate many things, fish isn’t one of them. I’ll usually eat it, though. I’m working on overcoming my dislike, but I’m not there yet. So, B, my parents and I all had fish, A and C had plain noodles. I ate some fish, but after deciding I really did not like it, I asked if I could please have some noodles, but they refused to share, stating there would be less for them if I took some. I was upset, and after some back and forth, I said to A: “don’t act all high and mighty compared to C, you get spoiled just as much as he does. B and I have enough respect to eat what’s in front of us without making mom and dad make us a separate meal every night.”
A got very upset and isn’t talking to me, and honestly, I could be wrong. I see how it could be hypocritical, so I wanted a judgement from y’all. AITA?
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2023.03.20 23:57 Training_Tennis499 Masturbation
(Sorry if it's a long read I just really want to go in depth to get a better understanding.)
So for the longest time I've always enjoyed masturbation cause I didn't think it was a sin until I randomly found a video talking about how masturbation is sinful as it ruins your bond with God and the devil is the one who is influencing you. As someone who has always been a christian I wasn't aware of how much distance I placed on the lord and made me feel horrible. But of course....I still went on with it but wasn't as joyful as before. I had the mindset of "eh I believe in God anyways so I can just keep going." But that just makes things worse once judgment day comes because I don't want to take God's pure forgiveness for granted like that. My mom doesn't have a problem either since she hasn't seen it being addressed in the bible
You see it would've been easier for me to stop if I wasn't around a group of people who also indulge into this sort of thing. Especially with this story we've been doing for years in a discord server and the female characters are lusted on because of the porn we've saw that connects to them and their partners(the story isn't all about sex though it's something waaay bigger than that.)
So after few weeks of contemplating to confess about it, I finally man up and did so. The reactions were different from what kind of thought; not that I'd think they'd undermine me because they're more than that. One of them who was alot more into porn than us and the one who influenced my thoughts and ideas on doing sexual stuff with our characters already accepted his place in hell( he does believe in God but he mostly resents it because of his religiously deranged mom.) He was why I struggled to confess cause we were both looking forward to doing these things but suprisingly he was very chill about my decision and was supportive because he puts his friends first.
The others were also supportive but the talk just became a discussion on different perspectives of sins. They did find it funny that me out of all people wanted to stop because I'm the #2 most horniest one. of them told me "what you need to focus on is just doing the right thing and trying to be the best person you can be and don’t follow the Bible and all that shit because if the Bible is even remotely accurate to anything then every single person who exercises free will is probably going to hell." And "All in all religion is mostly used to police people and give them some sort of moral code. That is not inherently a bad thing but it becomes too much when people become toxic with it and that is what humans have been doing for thousands of years. It’s OK to believe in a higher power but at some point you have to sit down and realize that some of that mess in the bible is as real as a double dicked unicorn with the head of Abraham Lincoln. Bottom line is most religious texts are bullshit. What sense does it make for someone to be thrown into the pit of eternal suffering just because they got an erection from looking at a sexy woman?" Even brought up the usual masturbation is healthy and then said it reduces wet dreams which are actually bad (I haven't gotten those since 2020 which was a year before I actually started masturbating.) Last thing he told me as we went on was mentioning how much I'm questioning God's logics and how contradictory it is.
So after that I'm left confused once again and still found some videos about masturbation and one said to control my eyes that will cause temptation but of course....I still failed. Another thing I should add is that I'm not into watching pornagraphy of human beings cause that makes me feel a bit of disgust and is kinda why I don't think I'll ever want to have sex with a woman other than my pessimistic view on relationships as a whole. So yeah I just came here to seek a clear choice of what I should do and believe because I don't want to distance myself from the lord but I also can't escape this lust completely. I'm paranoid about how unpredictable death is and how even more demonic our world has become so I'm just...really scared to die in this possible sin.
submitted by Training_Tennis499
to Christian [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 23:55 Mizzno [H] Games [W] Visage, A Hat in Time, Tower Unite, Mega Man 11, CODE VEIN, Offers
For sale, for Steam gift cards (or gifted Steam Wallet balance):
*tentatively up for trade, assuming I buy the bundle
- The Elder Scrolls: Legends: 2 Card Packs (Skyrim) 1 Event Ticket 100 Gold 100 Souls
- ESO Vanity Pet: Bristlegut Piglet and 15 Days of ESO Plus
- 5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel
- A Hat in Time
- Avernum: Escape from the Pit
- CODE VEIN
- Dead Rising 4
- Mega Man 11
- Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition
- NBA 2K Playgrounds 2
- NECROPOLIS: BRUTAL EDITION
- Omensight: Definitive Edition
- Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection
- Tower Unite
- Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap
IGS Rep Page: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ti26nz/mizznos_igs_rep_page/
submitted by Mizzno
to indiegameswap [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 23:54 sisterwantsmymoney AITA for telling my SIL not to have kids if they're broke as hell?
My(21f) brother(28M) has been married to SIL(27F) for five years. And in those five years, they’ve been trying to have a child, but every attempt was unsuccessful.
My SIL is adamant about having her own child, but my brother works a minimum-wage job, and my SIL is a stay-at-home wife. They struggle to pay rent, and my parents have to chip in occasionally. It’s frustrating because SIL is always taking advantage of my parents.
My parents created a fund for my brother and me when we were young for college and weddings. My brother refused to go to college and blew up his money on partying, and had an extravagant wedding. It was over the top, tbh, and now they’re broke. My parents live off their pension money, and I’m studying abroad (in Europe). I’m from an Asia country.
I’m doing my final year degree and plan to continue with my postgraduate degree. I have enough money from my funds, and I’m working part-time to have extra income. I also have money for my wedding. But, I plan to use it to buy a house and invest it instead.
My SIL brought up the idea of IVF to my parents and asked for money to support the procedure. My parents admitted they did not have that much money and apologised. she tried gaslighting them, and they paid for the first round after selling my mum’s jewelry. Well, that was unsuccessful, and now she’s demanding more.
A few weeks ago, I was on a video call with my family, and my brother and SIL joined. I told my parents my plan and they were happy.
SIL was quiet the whole time and messaged me a few days later, asking how I would support myself financially. thinking she genuinely meant well, I told her I had savings. She then brought up her IVF treatment and asked me to pay for it because my degree should be enough and a master's is useless. she also said buying a house is not worth it when you’re young.
I told her to stop taking advantage of my family and not try to scam a 21 yr old. she was offended and told me to put family first because her having a daughter would be more suitable for the family than me buying a house or continuing my studies. I brought up her financial status and told her to stop trying for a child when she's broke and has to beg people, especially a 21 yr old and older people, for money.
Well, shit hit the fan cause her side of the family is calling me a spoilt brat, and my brother wants me to apologise to his wife. My parents, who were afraid to voice out, are glad I did but think I could’ve done it differently. Aita?
submitted by sisterwantsmymoney
to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 23:51 OldPersonHerder My husband (M34) and I (35F) have 3 dogs. The one that he brought to the relationship bit my finger so badly last week that I had to have it partially amputated and I need help navigating how we address it while minimizing hard feelings around his beloved dog.
This is a tough one and I know it seems cut and dry but it always helps me to crowdsource my life advice, so here goes:
We’ve been together for three years and got married in October 2022. Very happy and emotionally safe relationship so far. We each brought one dog to this union, and adopted a third together last year.
His dog, Sally, is a 45 pound female Border Collie mix who has been an amazing dog for about 8-9 years and was his ride or die prior to me. Never shown any aggression whatsoever before about 2 weeks prior to this incident. My dog, Bob, is a 12 pound toy Aussie who I have had for 7.5 years, and our adopted dog, Patty, is about 25 pounds, a year and a half old, female, and some sort of Collie mix. They have all three been together for a year now and seemed like a good pack.
A week or two before the bite happened, something in their dynamic changed, and Sally started showing aggression toward Bob when he would get annoyed with Patty and even make the slightest growl at her—she wants to play nonstop and it is tiring. Bob has never bitten/lunged/anything more than a little growl at Patty. After a week of Sally showing small signs of annoyance or aggression, it escalated to Sally viciously attacking Bob when all three dogs are present and I am there, even if there was nothing obvious to me going on. That’s just it—all three dogs have to be there and so do I. She went after Bob 3 times total.
Right now, my brother has kindly agreed to keep Sally while we figure it all out. I’m understandably very distrustful of Sally now, for both myself and my beloved Bob, and fairly traumatized from her literally biting the tip of my finger off and costing us several thousand dollars between the ER, surgery, and hand therapy. I think Patty is definitely part of the problem with the dynamic, but why now?
I guess my real question is, where do I start for guidance on safely reintegrating Sally into our family, or how do we know that all three dogs together won’t work? A dog behavior expert or more training for Patty to try and calm her down? I love Sally, too, and it’s hard to explain how much my husband loves her. I’m definitely seeing my therapist for my own issues surrounding this but would love some advice on how to handle the dogs. Part of me thinks one needs to be rehomed and in my opinion it’s only fair for that to be Sally, since she hurt me so badly. But I’d like to explore all our options.
I appreciate anyone reading all of this and giving me genuine advice.
TL;Dr: One of our dogs bit me while attacking another of our dogs, and this dog who bit me was my husband’s first love. I ended up getting the top half of the bitten finger amputated. Is the only choice to rehome one of the dogs?
submitted by OldPersonHerder
to relationships [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 23:51 Devilate [ALL] Thoughts, lots of thoughts.
I finished playing LiS 1. I'm left with a hollow feeling, like when you just watched a really good TV show and don't know what to do with your life after it has ended. At the same time it's a good feeling, because what an amazing story this was! I loved it from beginning to end.
Someone enthusiastically recommended this game to me in the past and I was too ignorant to immediately listen and play it. Well, months or even years later I decided to trust their judgement because I was feeling nostalgic and wanted to revisit the feeling of friendship that I haven't felt for a while. This game gave me all these feelings. The deeper into the game I got, the more I felt attached to the characters and wanted to know more, wishing it would last forever. Unfortunately it didn't, like barely anything ever does. Actions always have consequences. A small decision can have major effects. It is just the way things are and will always be. This was shown to me when I noticed the consequences of Max trying to save Chloe's father, and it left me in tears. I made the tough decision in this fragment, and was so relieved when Max went back to the present and found Chloe, alive as ever.
It made me think a lot: if I could revisit the past, knowing everything I know now, would I change anything? I don't know. I'm leaning towards a negative answer. There's no way of knowing what any small decision could result in, what domino effect I could be causing by changing anything at all. You can't save everyone. Some things are possibly just meant to be, whatever happens just happens and it is what it is. Imagine if I were to change anything to try to make life better in the present, I would still be left with the knowledge of all that has been, but is undone now. Does that make sense? It wouldn't change my feelings, because I would still be the same person in my heart, in my head... I can't undo my knowledge of these events. In an alternate reality I could step out of the front door and cross the street 5 minutes earlier than I did in the main timeline, and I could be run over by a truck just by making that seemingly insignificant decision. Nothing feels insignificant now. I have regrets, but it's how it's meant to be. All you can do is move forward. The present is the present, the past and the future should be left where they are.
I'm left with a question. There are many stories from people that had a sudden gut feeling and it saved their life. When a sudden urge to move to a different room saved them, or for no explainable reason they suddenly felt like they had to check up on someone and this also saved that person. Or even feeling, knowing, that someone has just died, without being close to them. How does this happen? Does this say anything about alternate realities? What does this mean? I have no answers, but it's an interesting question to me.
This was just a rant about all these thoughts, since I can't really discuss this topic with anyone I know. Anyone who wants to add anything to this discussion, feel free to do so.
submitted by Devilate
to lifeisstrange [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 23:51 KirbyTheGodSlayer I just caught up to the manga and here are my thoughts about all the rounds in the Ragnarok
Round 1 (Lu Bu vs Thor)
I liked it a lot. It was the first round and did its job quite well by introducing us to all the basic mechanics of the tournaments. It may have been somewhat predictable because it was quite obvious that the humans weren’t going to win the first round but I still thought that it was really enjoyable. Lu Bu’s backstory was pretty cool and so was his attitude and supporters, Thor was okay but nothing that great or spectacular about him outside of his living hammer. I would give it a 7/10.
Round 2 (Adam vs Zeus)
I know it’s not an original opinion but this is one of if not my absolute favorite round in the series. I love everything about it from how unpredictable it was to how well-crafted the characters were. The way they took Adam (from the Bible) to represent was so unexpected yet so perfect and logic. His philosophy, abilities and backstory were on point and I almost cried when he died. Zeus was pretty entertaining to watch as a fighter although I do feel like he had some solid plot armour with his blood perfectly hitting Adam’s eyes rendering him vulnerable but that is just a nitpick because Adam’s death was my favorite in the whole series. I would give this fight a solid 10/10.
Round 3 (Sasaki Kojiro vs Poseidon)
This fight is somewhat controversial but I am definitively a fan of it. I know this is probably the most predictable fight in the whole tournament but that doesn’t make me like it less. I thought this was a beautiful way to give humanity its first win. It is simple yet effective with a looser surpassing a perfect winner. Sasaki was a pretty interesting character and his abilities were really amazing. Poseidon was alright but I must say that he pretty much just a cocky asshole. (Even if that is most likely intended) Poseidon’s death was also incredibly satisfying to watch. I would give this fight an 8/10.
Round 4 (Jack the Ripper vs Heracles)
I think that most people would agree with me that this fight was masterfully well-written. The opposition between Jack the Ripper who represents the worst of mankind and Heracles who represents the best of mankind to the point where he even ascended to godhood was just genius. It wasn’t really a predictable fight although I was convinced from the start that Jack would end up killing Heracles and making him his prey. I loved the way they portrayed Jack the Ripper in this fight too making him appear menacing and being a fighting genius who always has tricks up his sleeve like how he lied two times about his actual divine treasure. Heracles was also pretty cool because of how the fight kind of challenged his love for humanity and ability to stay brave and kind and how he still succeeded in both of these things in his death. I also really appreciate how original the fight was with it taking place in a copy of London. I would give this fight a solid 9/10.
Round 5 (Raiden vs Shiva)
I can’t say that this fight is one of my favorites. I know it has its fans but I simply didn’t like it as much as most of other fights in the series. There is nothing wrong with it but there is also nothing particularly good about it either. Shiva had an okay backstory and same goes for Raiden but none of those hit me too hard. (That doesn’t mean they are bad though) The fight itself was okay but nothing stood out to me really. I would give this fight a 6.5/10
Round 6 (Buddha vs Zerofuku/Hajun)
I really loved this fight. I know some don’t really like it which is fair but I loved it. Buddha betraying the gods was such a great twist to me since I felt like it was weird that he wasn’t a human fighter since the beginning. Buddha’s character is just incredible and I like everything about him like his backstory, his abilities, his philosophy, his fighting style and his personality. Zerofuku had an amazing design and the plot twist of him becoming Hajun was pretty cool. The actual fight was absolutely amazing in this round. I have seen some people say that Buddha’s win was plot armour but I disagree with that statement because Hajun would have lost anyway due to how scared he was of Buddha’s determination. The Volund with Zerofuku that Buddha had was really hyped and his win felt really earned. I would give this fight a 9,5/10.
Round 7 (Qin Shi Huang vs Hades)
This is arguably the most controversial fight in the series and I honestly am part of the people who don’t particularly like it. Hades‘s abilities were incredibly boring and his fighting style felt way too similar to Poseidon. It even goes deeper than that for me because the lack of interesting abilities from Hades made me realize that it was another Greek god fighter another Asian fighter so I was even more bored. (It is part of what makes me like Round 8 so much.) Qin Shi Huang was an okay character but I wish he was more accurate at least to some degree to his real life character because he really has nothing in common with him outside of the name and the feat of having united China. While some might answer that it is the case for every human fighter, I would personally disagree because the other characters still felt somewhat inspired from their real life counterpart. This fight was just pretty boring and Hades felt pathetically weak for a Chief God. I would give this fight a 5/10.
Quick thoughts on Round 8 (Nikola Tesla vs Beelzebub)
It’s amazing. I love everything about it and Tesla FTW.
submitted by KirbyTheGodSlayer
to ShuumatsuNoValkyrie [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 23:51 ThrowRAanonyyymouss I (19F) don’t want to attend my parent’s (41M-39F) wedding
My parents and I have never had a good relationship. I have what I like to call the Oldest Child Complex, every burden was always thrown on me, I had to basically handle responsibility and mature way too early because my parents never really did, I also basically raised my three younger brothers while watching them go through every sort of crisis, cheating, abuse, drugs and alcohol, gambling, our parents really just did it all. And I always received their harshness, especially my father’s since we were never on good terms, he cheated on my mother a countless number of times, I was the one who found about it first, and I saw it happen many many times, that traumatized me to say the least, I developed a difficulty trusting anyone growing up because my view on relationships was tarnished and damaged at such a young age.
After everything they went through and all of their mess, now they decide to get married. My mother wants me to be her maid of honor, they’re playing it all in delusions, like it’s a pretty fairy tale and we’re one big happy family, they refuse to address their main issues or work through them as if they think that getting married will just solve it all. I’m a bit bitter and a whole lot pissed off by this.
Anyways, when I told my parents that I actually don’t want to attend their wedding, they looked at me as if I’m the absolute worst human being to walk this planet, and they proceeded to call me an awful ungrateful daughter, my mother said while sobbing, and I quote “I can’t believe I waisted my youth on you, only for you to grow up like this.” Then they had every member of our family meddle into this, I keep receiving phone calls and texts about how I should be attending the wedding as their eldest child and only daughter and that it’s very disrespectful and inappropriate for me not to “join them to share the joy of our family uniting”. I feel terribly pressured by this, I don’t want to attend the wedding at all, but I also don’t want to completely cut ties with my whole family which is what they keep threatening me by. My friends and boyfriend all think that it’ll be best if I cut them off either ways but that’s not what I want to do either. Any advice on how to handle this situation would be of great help.
submitted by ThrowRAanonyyymouss
to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 23:50 SeaworthinessOver141 How did I die?
Noob here. Was I lured? I was rummaging through a town and heard what I thought was a dog going crazy. I come up and it’s a wolf circling a house & going crazy (should’ve been my first red flag, I know) so I decided to kill the wolf. I killed it and was about to skin it and suddenly I just drop dead. No sound, I didn’t hear any footsteps, and my health and blood were fine.
Was this a luring technique, did someone shoot me just out of opportunity, or did I step on a mine or something?
submitted by SeaworthinessOver141
to dayz [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 23:48 Bl1nk1nUR4r34 i’ve had covid 10+ times
ok so, not really but i just need to let this out. i have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, i’m on antidepressants and i’m going through a lot of stress right now, i need to look for another job, i have problems with my family and legal problems among other things, this high level of stress has been happening for 3 years now.
i’ve been a hypochondriac ever since i can remember, my “go to” illness has always been cancer, i think it’s because a really close family member died from it and i saw how it affected everyone around me. if you ask me how many times i’ve “had cancer” it would be over 100 times, i get headache? cancer. i feel dizzy? cancer. my body aches? cancer. finally after therapy i overcame it and stopped feeling that way… until covid. covid really fucked me up. i started actually going out and doing things only this year because i was still terrified of the virus. i did get covid las year cause a family member never took it seriously, i saw them end well… i was so angry. but it wasn’t the first time that i had covid tho, before this i had convinced my self that i had covid at least 5 times. even if i hadn’t gone out at all i would still feel the symptoms. and now is happening again, every time i go out and enjoy myself the next day i feel i have covid. i have gone to the doctor twice now and it’s not covid, the first time it was nothing and second it was an infection. yesterday after 4 years not only did i saw the ocean but i got to dive into the ocean, i was so happy and today i woke up feeling like shit, the way i’ve been feeling for months now after i’m happy. i think is too early to get a test but i don’t think is covid, but i’ve been feeling this way too many times now and i’m tired of it.
i was doing amazing only a month ago, going out, meeting people, finally making friends… i don’t know what is happening to me.
submitted by Bl1nk1nUR4r34
to offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 23:48 Little_Space_Lad If I could be granted insight from the kindly internet? (Need for advice)
[TW; not mentioned in detail, but this is about me attempting to recover from CSA]
There's an overwhelming abundance of issues in me that I'm struggling to sort out in my egg baked brain. I just want to get my life going and to finally be "grown up" and get what needs to be done, done. However I'm finding I'm absolutely useless to the point it's humiliatingly pitiful. With all these mental blocks I could build myself my own personal home, retire early and get into stocks and bonds or whatever responsible adults do these days.
I'm on my own out here for the most part, reaching out to the people immediately available around me feels impossible, I do not feel safe nor trust them. As much as Id like to, let me stress how much I wish I could trust them, I just can't. Even though things seem different now(arguably better now Im an adult and semi independant w/ minimal paying job), they happen to have a heavy hand in the reason to this distressing mental paralysis of sorts, and thats something I realize with grief rather than resentment.
I want to be able to just rip out and detangle the root cause as to why I'm not actually doing what I feel I need to do in order to be the better more functional adult I know I need to be. And that usually involves digging into the "whys", where did these behaviors come from? And what does healing look like for me? Feels like I've always been rushing to fix this shit on my own like this as a kid. And if it were so straight forward as to reflecting my own past, I wouldnt be here typing and going back to my usual of just barely making it.
It's difficult to really lay out my own story on paper, and even in my own head. It feels like I have several perspectives in my brain on what happened to me and how my childhood went(and this is with so little memory that reliably escapes me). And when I write it out one way there's always other parts of me that range from wanting to nitpick or straight up delete and restart. It's just never "right", for a multitude of reasons that stem from shame, anxieties about potentially lying, exaggerating, or worse lying to myself to make myself out to be some victim. For attention maybe(I call these paranoias). But to be blunt, I never enjoy the reactions I get when I open up about what I can remember, I usually end up shutting down the moment I see someone upset. I feel endless guilt for some of the reactions I brought out, even if I can no longer clearly remember their faces or what was said, I still hold onto that shame I was the cause and that interaction couldve gone better if I had just shut up or lied.
Itd just be nice to just have another reliable account to my past or to speak for me sometimes. Someone who has no reason to lie to me or themselves to feel better. It's not like I feel I can rely on my own memories at all. I still have that need to talk about what I think I can remember, very desperately I wish to be understood preferably by someone safe(Ive tried therapy, but I could never get across what my needs were, im looking into a new one as of late, we have yet to start but hoping it works out better and they can help sort out my brain). But for what I think I can remember, to put it plainly, is very damning on those close in my life. I feel guilty about these experiences even though I virtually have no control over it, and more so that I can't speak of them with confidence as I can barely remember until recently. I just always knew something awful happened, and my body remembers more than I do. It reacts before me sometimes, I say things I don't understand, and it's like my body isnt my own when I'm too anxious.
I find myself struggling to explain my actions, I may not even have clear memory of these actions at times. These actions arent always harmful, just straight up weird, "out of character", childish, and maybe sometimes it got me into situations Im not comfortable with. I dont date anymore due to the sole reason I find myself "snapping back" into place, as if suddenly realizing myself in the middle of getting intimate and the vibe for me is "killed" for a reason I cant comprehend. And for whatever reason, even though Im no longer comfortable with the situation, I feel the urge to "keep up the act", like everythings fine and normal. Ive gone and retraumatized myself because of this. Its just not ideal.
I find myself always struggling to put up an act, like I'm picking up after someone left the stage with little to no script, but the show must go on. As if it'd literally kill me if I didn't. There's nothing more terrifying than having someone suddenly realize just how stupidly vulnerable and fragile I truly am. Or that confusion I'm met with and I have no way to explain what just happened away. I cant say I necessarily completely forget what was just said or done, but when these things happen I cant reliably look back the few seconds before after these "snaps" because its like looking through a fog. The memory is already fading into murky waters and who knows if itll resurface, certainly not in that moment most vital.
It's just a lot of issues. So many it's hard to deal with. I find myself wishing for a little guidance in these moments of confusion or depression. Something to set my head back on straight because I got places to be, things to do, I'm running behind in the big rat race and I do have an idea of what I want for my future. I want to be datable, and I want to be a good partner and hopefully one day a good parent after experiencing more life and resolving my own issues so I dont pass it on. I'm getting older, my twenties are escaping me and I'm not happy how Im not financially stable yet or how little these "self-help" tutorials are actually doing anything for me. Im a college drop out because I couldnt handle it. Am I just lazy? Am I too comfortable where I am now? I somehow doubt that because even if I lost what blessings I have now that keep me from homelessness, I'll still struggle to thrive or to find it in me to function any better.
What in the world can I even do for myself here? Am I just destined to succumb to my suicidal ideation? Im not trying to alarm anyone by saying this because, please just dont, but some days suicide does make sense. I dont want to die. Preferably I get my shit together and I find myself in my own little home of my own making, and I can spend my days playing games, writing, and chatting with friends. It just feels like an impossible dream right now when Im exhausted all the time and tackling with this bullshit inside my own head. I dont even want much from life, just some sense of stability, safety, and good people to be around when Im lonely. I dont want to be anything bigger than I am, to be known, or to be the stereotypical successful adult climbing the coorperate ladder. It sounds so draining and bleak, this life I feel like Im supposed to be striving for, its something my parents will be proud of i think(or maybe not, I dont think theyll ever be proud of me actually, Ill always be that useless leech Ive always been since birth). I dont actually want to be all that grand even if it leaves few things to be said at my funeral. Id be happy with the lowly job i have now if only it provided a life of independance. It just doesnt, and i need to reach out for more, to be better than I feel I am truly able.
Im just not able. And as embarrassing as it is, thats just the reality. And im stuck with what Im supposed to do about it on my own. And I really wish I didnt feel like I actually NEEDED to be coddled sometimes.
If youve read through all my essay, thank you, I dont have a TLDR for you who didnt, sorry. Im tapping out. Wishing everyone well, peace.
submitted by Little_Space_Lad
to CPTSD [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 23:44 MachinePrevious6871 An analogy of 9/11 to children eating ice cream
Let's compare 9/11 to children eating ice cream.
Imagine a little boy who has been asking you for ice cream every day for the last two weeks. You go through the same process every day -- asking him, "Do you want some ice cream today?" He nods or... well, he doesn't, because he's nine. You realize that every time he sees you and asks you to make him a bowl of ice cream, he is breaking the rules that you've established, in hopes of making you stop asking him for it. Now imagine you find out that he's been selling his allotted ice cream to his neighbors. Do you realize that you did nothing wrong, and in fact you were doing the very best thing that you could have done for this little boy? You saved him from eating a very unhealthy diet. He made the trade -- he did the unpleasant, but necessary, step of helping himself to an unhealthy, nutritional dessert. The world needs to understand this in the case of 9/11, and stop asking those innocent people, "What did you do to us, besides being just so darn American?" That's right -- in the aftermath of 9/11, our political leaders and media are again asking the innocent survivors and family members of those who died, "What did you do to us, besides being just so darn American?" They need to know that it is NOT our responsibility to make up for the acts of individuals. The question, "What did you do to make this happen, if it wasn't you?" should not even be asked of anyone who was on that flight or has suffered a terrorist attack. That attitude can be attributed to a much deeper issue: an unwillingness to face unpleasant facts. People are so accustomed to and conditioned to buy into the false narrative of American exceptionalism that they simply refuse to acknowledge that those who commit such terrible crimes against other people are Americans, too. However, when we look at the facts in the 9/11 case, the world should be forced to look at all American citizens, as a whole, and realize that their behavior is not, in fact, representative of the "best and brightest" the world has to offer. We are the most hypocritical people that the world has ever known. The typical attitude that Americans have towards 9/11 is: I survived. Others didn't. That's it, end of story. But the rest of the story should not end there. There is a person (or group) behind every terrorist attack, and there is a context behind every terrorist attack. We need to acknowledge that when we ask "what did you do to make this happen, if it wasn't you?" we are looking at ourselves, not the other. We are asking the wrong question: When we're asking "what did you do to make this happen, if it wasn't you?", we are forgetting that no matter what we do, some people are going to do things that we find regrettable. Instead of asking "What did you do to make this happen, if it wasn't you?" we should be asking "What did we do that contributed to the situation that you found yourself in?" Let's try asking that question. Of course, I don't expect the average American to embrace such an honest paradigm shift. Many of them are still more focused on a 10 year old boy's decision to spend $20 to buy a bowl of ice cream than they are on questions of geopolitical relations and foreign policy. For this reason, I'm not saying that we should turn a blind eye to the facts, but I am saying that we should ask questions like this: - - - - - - - - - When did Americans stop being able to recognize that everyone is at fault for what's going on in the world? When did Americans become so preoccupied with our own individual desires that we no longer believe in the premise of "the greater good"? - - - - - - - - - When did Americans stop thinking that we, as a country, could solve global problems when we can't even maintain domestic security, much less implement international policy? We're so busy chasing our tails that we no longer realize that we are. - - - - - - - - - To all those who lost loved ones on 9/11 and in every terrorist attack in the last decade, my heart goes out to you. I cannot begin to imagine how much more difficult your days must be. And to all those who were on the planes on 9/11 and suffered trauma and lost loved ones, I share your grief. I am sorry that your lives were taken from you. I am sorry that the event that occurred before your eyes and in your city was a deliberate attack on our country. I am sorry that you are now victims, but I am also sorry that our culture has so severely depraved and alienated us from reality that it made you feel like suicide was a better option than face the reality that your home was attacked. I am sorry that your government betrayed you and took your money. I am sorry that you are now living your lives behind bars, many of them for crimes you did not commit. I am sorry that you are now becoming a victim of medical maltreatment and physical abuse. I'm sorry that you are now even being held responsible for the actions of others. You are victims of a sick culture. - - - - - - - - - There are other victims of this sick culture. - - - - - - - - - In November 2001, the Swedish ambassador to the U.S. described the U.S. political system as "very authoritarian". - - - - - - - - - In January 2002, a Congressman named Jim Moran was heard to ask, "do you think people realize that the Iraqis will attack us eventually?" - - - - - - - - - In March 2002, a Pentagon spokesman declared that, as the U.S. military progresses toward the deadline for the pullout of forces, "You could have a civil war in that country in three weeks." - - - - - - - - - In June 2002, Admiral Bryan Denton, then the commander of U.S. Fleet Forces Command, warned that "The further we get into the future, the more likely it is that we will have to establish control over the entire Iraq theater and that is going to require a substantial number of U.S. forces." - - - - - - - - - The U.S. is still unable to adequately coordinate its forces to support one another in the field. In March 2003, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was quoted as saying, "There are no Iraqi prisoners in American hands." - - - - - - - - - In June 2003, Paul Wolfowitz, President Bush's Deputy Secretary of Defense, gave a speech in New York City, calling for a "new world order" that would "kick in after the war". He also said "We're going to need another $600 billion over the next two years to deal with reconstruction in the United States and in Europe." - - - - - - - - - One of the biggest recipients of U.S. foreign aid is a country that has been listed by the United Nations as a state, but, in reality, is two children with ice cream, waiting and watching as the twin towers collapse on 9/11.
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2023.03.20 23:39 tealbluesea133 how did he not die is that the real question?
2023.03.20 23:39 JediMindGamez LN Foreshadowing List (Spoilers)
During my last read through I decided to make a list of all the foreshadowing I noticed (some are pretty weak in my opinion but I still noted it. I also made notes of some anime references I liked (I'm sure I missed a lot).
The chapters and page numbers are from the bookwalker app on at iphone 12 mini at 100% zoom. If there's enough interest, I'll continue this through the end of the series and update it as new volumes come out. If you're using this for a youtube video, etc. please say thanks, give me a shoutout, or something.
Chapter 2 pg 50
Lilia before being hired as a maid: “She had several stories up her sleeve to use as bargaining chips if she needed to.
Chapter 4 pg 128
Rudeus talking about Paul: “He sounded like the main character from a pretty rapey adult dating sim, boundless virility and all.
Chapter 6: pg 194
Talking about Roxy: “if it weren’t for our age difference, I’d want to marry her.”
Chapter 10: pg 399
Leaning his elbows on the table, Paul shot me a sharp look that brought to mind a certain spectacled commander.
Chapter 3: pg 150
Talking with Ghislaine and Eris about different types of teachers: “She had a goal.”
Chapter 6: pg 279
Roxy’s description of Migurd race in her Demon tongue textbook: People of the Migurd race tend to like sweet things.
Chapter 8: pg 259
If this lady’s still alive somewhere, I’d love to meet her… (talking about Kishirika Kishirisu).
Chapter 10: pg 381
Horseface was starting down at Roxy’s pendant, now dangling prominently around Ruijerd’s neck.
Chapter 14: pg 549
“The use of teleportation circles was forbidden in the aftermath of the Second Great Human-Demon War. Some may remain intact, but using them would likely be difficult.”
Chapter 14: pg 569
“My name is Rodriguez! I am the third student of Auber the Peacock Blade, pupil of the great North God Kalman!”
Chapter 14: pg 575
“If we turned that whole story into a book and got it published somehow, maybe we actually could rehabilitate the image of the Superd to some degree.”
Extra Chapter pg 582
…and finally a place where only white flowers bloomed - the Lily Garden. (Slyphies hair turning white).
Chapter 2: pg 72
“By ‘demon eyes,’ do you mean eyes that can see a person’s lifeline? A line that, if cut, will kill the person with absolute certainty?”
“How horrific! What in the world is that power?! I don’t have anything as terrifying as that!”
Oh well, it’s not like I had plans to target some vampire…
Side story: Missed Connections: pg 175
The youth would discover one of his friends had died, and Roxy would comfort him. That would be their first night together.
Chapter 6: The Beastfolk Children: pg 258
Aah! You can’t, little puppy! I have a wife and husband…!
Chapter 7: Free Apartment: pg 295
Geese. Let’s see, I felt like I’d heard that name before….”Hm? Rudeus…I’ve heard that name before.”
Chapter 7: Free Apartment: page 297
…but I’ve got no interest in men unless they look like women, too.
Chapter 7: Free Apartment: page 298
Geese explained. “Ahh, well, one of my acquaintances from a long time ago was a Doldia, so I came on the off chance I might meet her.”
Chapter 10: The Holy Sword Highway: page 416
(talking about Gesse). He had a charming face, and he wasn’t a bad guy, either. Still, ever since the incident with Gallus, I had the lingering sense that there was something darker behind all of that.
Chapter 10: The Holy Sword Highway: page 423
At the same time, I feared the possible negative impact that much mana could have on the body.
Chapter 10: The Holy Sword Highway: page 431
It was unclear if the cooking had anything to do with what happened after, but the woman did get with the man and the two later married.
Chapter 2: Paul’s Story pg 92
Paul after being teleported figuring out what's happening…It wasn’t really my fault I stepped on it, since our monkey of a scout should have spotted the thing beforehand…
Chapter 4: Reunited pg 179
Gesse Talking to Paul about Rudy’s journey back from Demon Continent about the Seven Great Powers
Paul: “Still, I felt like Rudy really did have the raw talent to make it on that list someday. And I didn’t think that was just my parental pride talking.”
Chapter 4: Reunited pg 202
It was a specific kind of sweet jelly that was very popular with young adventurers lately, having earned a mention in a recent popular ballad about a youthful magician’s adventures.
Chapter 6: One Week in Millishion pg 291
Rudy talking about his figures: they had quality enough to earn the admiration of a certain beastfolk Sword King and a prince in some foreign country, after all.
Chapter 6: One Week in Millishion pg 322
Paul talking about Elinalise: Yeah, the last thing I wanted was to end up as that woman’s father-in-law.
Extra Chapter 1: Dragon Meat, Nanahoshi Style pg 455
Also, what did “Nanahoshi” mean? The term was totally new to me, though it sounded almost…Japanese.
Extra Chapter 2: The Death of Ariel pg 522
As a direct result, Pilemon Notos Greyrat, the foremost member of the Ariel faction, was compelled to make a painful choice that left him in something of a predicament…but that’s a story for another time.
Chapter 3: The Shirone Kingdom pg 72
Rudeus internal monologue when talking to the Man-God - “Hopefully, even if there were unpleasant surprises lying in store for me, they wouldn’t involve such things as serious injury or the death of someone close to me.
Chapter 6: A Speedy Resolution pg 214
Farewell with Zanoba - “All right, Mawstwer. Stay safe! I don’t know where I’ll be shipped off to, but I have a feeling I’ll eventually run into you again!”
Chapter 8: An Adult pg 257
Talking to Rujerd, chapter before meeting Orsted - For some reason, I had a bad feeling about this. This felt an awful lot like the kinds of final conversations characters on TV had before they got killed off.
Chapter 3: Quagmire Rudeus pg 139
At the entrance of the Galgau Ruins: “Still, there’s a chance another party’s still inside.”
Chapter 4: The Forest at Night pg 249
Rudeus after healing a girl during the snow clearing job, “Perhaps something good would come from making a name for myself among those kids.”
Chapter 4: The Forest at Night pg 258
These were a higher ranked sort called the Icefall Treant. I had yet to encounter one.
Epilogue: pg 425
Random adventures talking about Rudeus - “Yeah. Just by having that one guy in their ranks, a group of twenty took down a Red Wyrm Straggler.”
Chapter 2: Entrance Exam pg 109
After all, the first person to introduce themselves was the victor! His mouth kept opening and closing but finally, he managed, “I’m Fitz. A pleasure”.
Chapter 2: Entrance Exam pg 113
That brought back memories: I’d once used an instrument just like that.”
Chapter 3: First Day of School pg 164
“Rudy - um, I mean, Rudeus, was it? What are you doing here?”
Side Story: Sylphiette (part 1) pg 215
It would be devastating to meet someone I liked and be mistaken for a man.
Side Story: Sylphiette (part 1) pg 228
He’d probably keep skirt-chasing even after he got married to someone.
Chapter 6: An Unreachable Power (part 2) pg 319
“Juli…ette, hehe, that’s a good name.” Master Fitz laughed merrily, as if he found something about the name amusing.
Epilogue: pg 423
Elinalise talking to Rudeus, “But they’re all girls. Not surprising, I guess, you are Paul’s son.”
Chapter 4: The Impervious Fiance (part 2) pg 167
After the mating season Rinia and Pursean: “You’re the man, Boss! Thanks again, mew. We’ll give you somethin’ for the trouble soon!”
Chapter 6: The White Mask (part 2) pg 229
“But if magic was really such a fundamental part of this world, wouldn’t lacking it cause you…some sort of problems?”
Chapter 7: A Day at the University of Magic pg 266
Incidentally, the only Divine-tier Detoxification spell I’d heard of was one that cured a strange and terrible illness called Petrification Syndrome.
Chapter 7: A Day at the University of Magic pg 281
Talking about Nanahoshi’s sleeping chambers - Why was she sleeping next to her food? What if it attracted mice or roaches?
Chapter 10: Rain in the Forest (part 2) pg 433
Seeing Fitz/Slyphies face for the first time: I thought I saw a resemblance to her fellow elf, Elinalise…but somehow, her face was more approachable and endearing.
Side Story: Sylphiette (Part 0) pg 511
Fitz seeing Rudy for the first time right before his entrance exam: She was an elf, from the looks of things. Something about her kind of reminded me of my dad.
Chapter 1: Backing pg 18
They were lined up around me and applauding, for some reason. True, it was a special occasion, but it was still kind of embarrassing. Almost like the last episode of a certain TV anime series.
Chapter 2: Things to Prepare Before Marriage (Part 1) pg 51
Something with a garden and room for a big dog might be best…
Chapter 2: Things to Prepare Before Marriage (Part 1) pg 60
There wasn’t much dust, so the real estate agency must…
Chapter 3: Things to Prepare Before Marriage (Part 2) pg 93
A moving doll, Come to think of it, there were other inanimate objects in this world that moved, like armor.
Chapter 4: Dramatic pg 126
“This is a nice basement area. The way it’s built, you’ll hardly ever get mice comin’ in.”
Chapter 11: Three Heads are Better Than One pg 337
It was as if the strings that were holding her up had been cut. (Overlord Reference???)
Chapter 3: The Boss and His Flunkies pg 118
I’d still step in to help Norm if she ever needed me. Hell, I’d be on her professors like a helicopter parent if i had to.
Chapter 6: Life with the Greyrat Sisters pg 227
And up here, you didn’t have any nasty multi-legged visitors scuttling into your house to nibble at your food either.
Chapter 8: Farewells pg 316
I might end up losing something. Like one of my hands, maybe…or one of my parents.
Chapter 1: Arrival pg 44
But Talhand was completely unaffected. I was the only one who couldn’t resist.
Chapter 8: The Guardian of the Teleportation Labyrinth pg 275
Elinalise joined in. “I know of one other person who was once like Zenith is now, and they’re still alive.”
Chapter 11: Looking Ahead pg 341
“What’s that? Sure talkin’ like you know a lot on the matter, Elinalise".
Chapter 16: Before his Grave pg 517
But in this world, Sylphie was understanding. As long as I loved them equally, I could have two or three wives.
Chapter 16: Before his Grave pg 531
“Apparently Sylphie thinks I’m going to take another wife after this…”
Chapter 1: Roxy’s New Job pg 51
Talking about the Zaliff Gauntlet: …Or a hand that turned into a magic cannon on demand?
Chapter 1: Roxy’s New Job pg 72
We found Nanahoshi looking somewhat the worse for wear. She might have caught a cold or something since she was coughing like crazy.
Chapter 6: A Water King is Born pg 276
It might be nice to come out of the city to fish on a sunny day…
Chapter 11: Graduation Day pg 525
Talking about Rinia: I wasn’t feeling too reassured. I had this gut feeling she was going to blunder along with a bunch of half-assed ideas and land herself in deep trouble.
Chapter 1: Floating Fortress pg 50
As we passed through the gate, white particles suddenly started falling from Sylphie’s body as she walked ahead of me. In fact, those same particles were falling from my body as well.
Chapter 2: An audience with Perguis pg 69
Your mana closely resembles that of Laplace. If you were determined to resist me…
Chapter 2: An audience with Perguis pg 75
The mana flows through them as a result transforms them. They all lose their memories, without exception, and in return, their body is infused with a mysterious power.
Chapter 13: Explanations pg 505
Anyway…his (Orsted) story was coherent enough, but something about it felt a little off somehow.
Chapter 1: The First Mission pg 30
For instance, we could persuade the princess to focus more on magical research or strengthening the military.
Chapter 1: The First Mission pg 47
“There’s nothing to worry about,” Orsted assured me. “Even if we fail, there is always next time.”
Chapter 5: Working Together pg 176
“Oh, truly? In that case, perhaps I should have said hello to him. He was intimidating enough from afar that it made my legs tremble. If I heard his voice up close, I might wet myself.”
Chapter 9: Before Traveling to Asura Kingdom pg 389
Or, more precisely, he seemed to think he could always try again if the first attempt failed.
Chapter 9: Before Traveling to Asura Kingdom pg 469
My concern with her was whether or not she would settle down and behave while pregnant.
Chapter 4: Ariel’s Choice pg 128
Presumably, I wasn’t escorting her to the toilet. Some people might get off on having others watch them do their business, but I didn't see any reason why she’d pick me for that role.
Chapter 2: The Borrowed Cat pg 88
“Lara sure doesn’t cry much and she doesn’t smile either. It kind of worries me,” Sylphie mumbled… I didn’t see the big issue, personally. I mean look at her, she looks super conceited. You could tell by her face that she was gonna be a hotshot someday. No doubt about it.
Chapter 2: Bad Omens pg 69
Lara was supposed to be some sort of messiah,...but maybe she’d been born with special powers of some kind.
Chapter 11: Aftermath pg 448
He was recounting a story about one of the Man-God’s previous disciples…”The Demon King of the Biegoya Region, Badigadi.”
Chapter 5 pg 291
I wasn’t sure why, exactly, but Lara had taken a liking to Zenith. She would often sit on Zenith’s lap and look up at her face. If you ignored the silence, you might mistake it for a touching scene of a grandchild bonding with her grandmother.
Chapter 6 pg 331
Cliff, “Worry not, I’ll pray to Saint MIllis that your future child will get along well with mine.”
Chapter 7 pg 374
The acquaintance who’d appeared so suddenly had disappeared just as quickly. I had to wonder if our reunion was, in fact, a coincidence. It didn’t matter. I was happy to see an old friend and shake some nerves off (Geese).
Chapter 8 pg 411
If Norm told me that she wanted to marry and needed my help finding someone, then I’d gladly set her up on a blind date.
Chapter 7: What is Owed pg 293
(While the blessed child is narrating Zenith’s memories), Lara really likes me. You know she was talking from the moment she was born! “Lately, she climbs up on my knees and we sit in the sun with Leo and talk.
Chapter 8: The Traitor Gets Away pg 341
“I won’t go on at length about it, as promised, but I worry about her future,” Claire said.
“Aisha was incredible and clever…
“I wonder…” Claire said, sounding unconvinced. “I cannot shake the feeling that she’ll make some mistake she can’t come back from.”
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2023.03.20 23:38 Ok-Quarter8656 help please
This is a very long story. I’m going to try to make it as short as I can. At the time he was 25 and I was 23 - his first relationship.
Basically, started dating him in 2019. I was unhealed from a past relationship so I came at him pretty hard in the start of us about his lengthy past of women, and I was insecure. I can admit that I was toxic Forsure with the questions and anger etc. I can admit that. I was mentally not there. Off my meds. Going through bad depression. But this is when I started seeing his anger. We would get into arguments and I’d say something and he’d start smashing and breaking my stuff then he would cry when I’d say get out.
Anyways- I changed how I was and was back to my normal self back on my medication… A few months later. I found that he had message a girl on Snapchat that he had prior hooked up with. He said he only msg her once for “ attention “ when we were in a bad place. I told him this is cheating to me. Next: He ended up getting drunk another night and calling a bunch of random girls. So - obviously he hurt me and my trust was extremely damaged. He would blame the anger he had towards me for how I treated him those months I wasn’t doing good… he said I would put him down and made him feel like nothing. he said multiple times that I made him have a fear of me and a fear of being honest with me. It was just a cycle. At this point. There was no physical cheating… there had been multiple lies always and he would stick to the stories when I knew he was lying. For example : he had his phone on do not disturb. And I knew it was on purpose. He repeatedly for hours would tell me it was a accident that he clicked the DND moon thing and I overthink etc. I’d cry whenever he’d lie because lying hurts me the most. It makes me have doubt and think there’s more… he also would go out every weekend to bars with his boys , never would tell me where he’s going then the entire night he’d just ignore me because I would ruin his night and ask questions… all his friends would always say I was “ crazy” because I’d be spam messaging my bf when he was out because he literally would ignore me… okay now- Fast forward to January 2022. My dad passed away suddenly. And my world was crushed. Like crushed. Him & my dad were actually very close. He had lied about something two weeks prior to my dads passing so I was still so upset with him and the obviously a mess over loosing my father. So I pushed him away and whenever I would see him- I’d cry and breakdown or question him because he was sketchy with his phone and I had a gut feeling and because he was going out still etc. whenever I’d say things like my dad dies and you go to the bar? He’d say well I offer to see you but you push me away. So I felt it was my fault. Anyways, trying to make this as short as I can. We weren’t In A good place. We were fighting a lot and he would insult me when we would argue and he had so much anger towards me from the past.. hed also always get mad and say I should trust him blah blah. May 2022 - I had a gut feeling he was with this girl that he used to be friends with and I knew about. They have hooked up in the past before me and I really didn’t want him hanging out with her because of their past. So he told me he had cut her off months before… I walk into this bar and he’s kissing this girl. It broke my literal heart. He came outside and he told a whole story how I was right she wanted him and I was right that she’s insane and he swears he ran into her at the bar and she came onto him and he made a drunk mistake etc…. I ended it. He then started msging me saying nothing was going on between them. She was still blocke and “ he ran into her”. I ended up reaching out to her and she told me they had been seeing eachother since April… that they hung out as friends in august months prior but then in April they kissed and started going on dates… and he told her we broke up and I’m his insane ex.
He denied it to me and I blocked him and didn’t speak to him all of June July august. I tried to move on and heal. It destroyed me, the one girl he knew would hurt me. Basically fast forward. September he shows up at my place. Crying. Loosing his mind. Emailing me essays. Telling me he’ll do anything. He started therapy and he admitted all the issues he had about partying and not communicating and how wrong he was and he wasn’t himself and lost himself with all the arguing etc and lost sight of what he had and he basically was going off how he cannot live without me. Fast forward. He’s been saying this now for months. He’s still emailing me everyday trying to fight for me. He hasn’t went to a bar since he came back. He says he’s in therapy and etc. but I did catch him in a lie about what he did this summer when he was single. It’s been a cycle. I have only seen him twice to talk. He begs to see me daily but I just can’t deal with it yet. There’s so many things that I’m unsure of or I feel I won’t ever know 100%…. He says he takes full responsibility and I was the best thing and did everything for him. And my dad did too… he basically keeps saying how much he’s changed and trying to show me by not dating anyone and when he tried to this summer he would think of me and couldn’t take it anymore. He’s saying he’s waiting for me and won’t give up etc. he never got me gifts or anything when together. Now he’s leaving gifts and stuff outside my door and trying to ask me to go on trips w him. He’s doing the stuff I always wanted and tried to get from him for years. I’m completely stuck what to do. I don’t even know how I feel. Part of me feels like I’m blind that he’s a good guy who made bad mistakes and no one will ever fight for me or care for me as much as he does. The other part of me is like I don’t even want to still love him cuz i feel like I know it’s best to start fresh w someone else someday. But I don’t want any regrets or I don’t want him to be with someone else and it’s too late. I’m just completely lost at this point. It keeps me up at night. Certain things I blame myself if I pushed him and any guy would be pushed to that point - but There’s so many things he’s done. I’m so lost. I hate that I literally went through hell and basically taught him so much at the expense of my health but now he’s better and “ changed” for someone else.. how is that fair. The one thing I will say- even in emails when he’s angry he’ll use capitals and say “ stfu” or “ awww”
But then when he’s calm he’s so different and sounds changed and mature.
Please help me. I’ve never been so lost in my life. Truly haven’t. Is this my fault? Is he going to be this amazing guy he’s showing me now to someone else? He's obsessed with me in every way like physically mentally. He only wants to " get off" to me. Which is something important to me. Idk if I'll ever find this with anyone else??? :/ is this a rare connection
Oh also to add - his friends & family we’re not nice to me at all. I guess cuz of they thought were toxic and I’m insane… just a lot I felt really alone and shitty about myself.
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