I have never serviced my Zonda frontwheel. The one time I tried, a year ago, I put one hex key on each end nut but I was tightening it instead of opening it... So I panicked and stopped there. The bearings have a bit of roughness but not much, still I prefer servicing them now than later. I tried opening the hub but only the one on the non-preload collar side opens. The other one is totally stuck! I have tried using penetrative oil (plus gas) + waiting a few times. I turn the key counterclowise using a 15mm wrench on the other side (leaving the end nut in on the opposite side to have less chances of rounding that piece) but even when applying a good amount of force (always in control of it) it does not open.
I cannot explain how it got stuck. Could it be crossthreading when I torqued it in then put it back on the bite with the clamping from the quick release skewer? Though some threads are visible and I am counting the same number around. See picture https://imgur.com/gallery/jaXNfPs
What happens if I apply all the force I can? Breaking of the axle or end nut?

FMK-3 submachine gun Submachine gun
The FMK-3 is a selective fire blowback-operated submachine gun of Argentine origin designed by Fabricaciones Militares in 1974. Around 30,000 were produced for the Argentine military by 1991.
Quick Facts Type, Place of origin ... FMK-3
Type Submachine gun Place of origin Argentina Service history In service 1974–present Used by Argentina Wars Argentine Dirty War Croatian War of Independence Falklands War Guatemalan Civil War Salvadoran Civil War Production history Manufacturer Fabricaciones Militares Produced 1974-1993 No. built 85,000 Variants See Variants Specifications Mass 3.4 kg (7.5 lb) empty Length 523 mm (20.6 in), stock folded 693 mm (27.3 in), stock extended Barrel length 290 mm (11.4 in) Cartridge 9×19mm Parabellum Action Blowback, open bolt Rate of fire 650 rounds/min Effective firing range 100 m Feed system 25, 32, and 40-round detachable box magazine Sights Flip up iron sights Close Development In the 1950s, the FMAP DM (Fábrica Militar de Armas Portables Domingo Matheu), belonging to the Dirección General de Fabricaciones Militares, acquired the production rights of a copy of the U.S. M3 A1 submachine gun, more commonly known as the "Grease Gun". This Argentine version was chambered for 9×19mm cartridges, as opposed to the .45 ACP in the original model. The DGFM released two versions called PAM 1 and PAM 2, with and without handle latch.
In the early 1970s, FMAP DM decided to change the design to use a telescoping bolt which allows a shorter weapon, and a magazine in the pistol grip. This concept was designed by Jaroslav Holecek in mid-1946 and greatly reduced the size of the weapon. He popularized the CZ-23/25 and it was later also adopted by the Israeli UZI, the Ingram MAC-10 and the Star Z-84. Thus was born the PA-3 DM, later known as the FMK-3.
At first glance, the FMK-3 may be associated with the UZI. This Argentine sub-machine gun fires the 9×19mm Parabellum cartridge and hosts its magazine in the pistol grip, along with a fire selector and grip safety on the rear of the grip which must be squeezed in order to fire the weapon. Above the hand grip, is the upper receiver which houses the barrel, bolt and recoil spring.
In the first series, the FMK was presented with three versions of stocks: one-piece plastic fixed, fixed to wood, and retractable wire. On the left side of the upper receiver is located the charging handle. This has a sliding dust cover that prevents the entry of foreign materials in the interior of the weapon. On the same side but at the rear is the sling holder. In early versions, the front one is similar to the Uzi, although it went on to be captive and rotating in the shield that holds the barrel to the receiver. On the receiver aiming devices are: a hooded front post sight and a rear "L" shaped flip sight adjustable for windage and with 50 and 100 meters sight positions. It is all protected by side ears. The ejection window is small sized and is located to the right of the aforementioned drawer or upper receiver.
Overview The FMK-3 is chambered in 9×19mm Parabellum, with a rate of fire of 650 rounds per minute. 20-, 32-, and 40-round magazines are available for the FMK-3 as well as the adaption of a silencer and grenade-firing capability.
Unlike other similar submachine guns, the safety, the disconnect and auto sear the FMK-3 are located behind the handle. In this way, ahead of the trigger is only the selector mechanism of shot and the manual safety. The safety selector has a wing-type lever that is activated from the left and which presents three positions: upper intermediate, "S" (safe), "R" (repeat), and "A" (automatic fire).
As an additional security measure, the FMK-3 has a safety grip that acts in the following way: If the weapon is not correctly grasped, the safety locks the bolt. Thus, even if the gun is ready to fire, if not pressed, the bolt is blocked from closing and firing the weapon. In addition, as mentioned above, with the bolt at rest, empty chamber and the full magazine the grip safety prevents accidental discharge of the weapon drag. Therefore, it is a very safe weapon to carry in any condition.
Variants FMK-3 Main variant and the most produced variant. The FMK-3 has a retractable wire stock. Fixed stocks have been recently made that can be installed by two prongs. FMK-3s have also been adapted with picatinny rails.
FMK-4 FMK-3 with fixed stock. The fixed stock appears to be made from polymer, and similar to that found on the H&K G3.
FMK-5 The FMK-3 is also produced for the civilian market, in semi-automatic-only version as the FMK-5.
Users Argentina: Used by Law enforcement in Argentina and Argentine Army. Bolivia: Used by Bolivian Army. Croatia Guatemala: Used by the military. El Salvador: more than 600 FMK-3s received during the 1980s, used during the Salvadoran Civil War and later put into storage. Used in the 2010s by private security guards. Uruguay: Used by Uruguayan Armed Forces and National Police of Uruguay.
Next copypasta: Uzi Vz. 23 SIG SG 540 TZ-45 Madsen M-50

Thanks again to u/TheManwithaNoPlan in all their help in co-writing this story! They are a fountain of inspiration!
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Memory transcript: Sharnet, Venlil Journalist. Date: [Standardized human time] September 19th, 2136
I had been correct. When Tagleb had described Unzekep’s behavior, I had thought she couldn’t possibly be one of the Overseers. Too descriptive. Too many features that stood out to be remembered. But I had to see. I needed to see what she was like.
I didn’t want to treat her like a monster. Like everyone else.
Unzekep was curled up in a ball on the ground, her sobs echoing off the enclosing walls. They clashed with the constant hum of the pumps, each dampening the other slightly. Her colors kept shifting between the gray of the walls and her natural green, as if she was barely trying to hide.
She just continued to sob. “I don’t want to go. P-please… I don’t… please…”
My legs started walking. On their own. Closer. I’m kneeling next to her. She’s hurting. I…
I gently placed my paw on her back. She shrinks back at the touch, but I keep my paw in place as she cries. “It’s okay,” I say, trying to be heard over the pumps, “we mean you no harm. We wish to h…” The facility said they helped. “We wish to keep you away from the monsters of the facility.”
Her chest shuttered as one eye peered out at me. “Y-you… you hate me. Fear me. Everyone… everyone does…”
“I am not everyone,” I reply. “Come, please, let’s get out of this room so we can hear each other. We only wish to talk.”
Unzekep began rising to her feet, but it still felt off. Her movements brought to mind the Venlil I had seen in the Arxur fear videos. The movement of someone who believed that they were being sent to their death and had given up all hope of its avoidance. Vekna stood by as I led her out of the room, unsure of how to act in the face of this situation.
The scaffolding outside the room groaned from the stresses put upon it by those far above as we walked out. The distant sounds of reactors whirring and people talking replaced the constant hum of the turbines as the backdrop to our situation. I saw Vekna take a small sigh of relief as she closed the door behind us. I saw how she had started to tense up the longer we were in there, this was more for her than Unzekep. Speaking of, the Harchen was still curled up in a defensive stance. “So…why do you bring me out? Are you…going to throw things at me?” She looked down, staring at a small discarded wrench set against the wall. “Please… don’t do hard.”
“We are not going to do that.” She was so scared of us. Like she was standing before an Arxur. “You were in Dawn Creek. The correctional facility there.”
Her colors shifted in fear again. “They-they tossed out! I didn’t- it wasn’t an escape! I’m not- not bad. I’m good! I promise! I-I…” I could see her eyes start to wet again. “Please…I’m sorry…”
Vekna, who had been behind me, knelt forward, keeping her paws to herself. “We know, we know. We’re not going to send you back there, or anywhere else. It’s okay, we’re friends.” I could hear something in her voice I couldn’t quite discern. Sadness? Anger? Both?
Unzekep looked up at her, at us, and she finally started to uncurl. “You’re…friends? Why?” The very fact she asked that at all sent a pang of sympathy through my heart. Is she really so isolated out here that she has to ask why someone wants to be friends with her?
I shook my head to focus. “Because the people who ran that place were evil. They tortured people, and we want to make sure that they don’t do such things to anyone else.”
Unzekep looked at me in confusion, her complexion only slightly changing to a bluish tint. “People don’t call it torture. It’s treatments. Bad treatments. They didn’t help change color. That’s how you spot me, right? The dots.” She ran a hand over her temple, right where the splotches were.
I nodded. “Yes, we did. You did a good job hiding otherwise, though.”
“Thanks. I learned how to ca…cam…hide very well. Sometimes I could make the guards miss me, but then I got in trouble for my next treatment.” I saw her shudder at the memories of that. Why did we ever think this was a good idea? “They had me take stuff. Said… it would make me hide better. Didn’t. It- it made me worse.”
So she was drugged. I guess my theory about the Harchen drug was somewhat correct. “Yes. The people there lied. They lied a lot…” I leaned forward, trying to keep my voice comforting, “do you remember a giant Venlil?”
Her tail flicked in worry as Vekna looked over to me in confusion. “They said.. it was dangerous. That it was going to destroy everything. But… they said they were throwing us out because of it.”
“They were lying again,” I told her, “they were throwing you out to hide themselves. The overseers feared we would find out that they were torturing people, so they ran.” I gestured to me and Vekna. “We are looking for them. We want to make sure they never hurt anyone again. Please, can you help us?”
A new flash of fear flows across her body as she shrinks back. “I- I can’t! They- they’ll know. They will hurt me. Find me and hurt me.” She shivers to herself despite the warmer air down here. Is this the kind of pain Tarlim was hiding all along? By the stars…
Vekna stepped in, her voice similarly soothing. “Why do you think that? You’re a long ways away from Dawn Creek. Do you think that someone from there is here?” She looked between us for a moment before she took on a yellow underhue in confirmation. I had to stop myself from celebrating then and there. After three misses, I was starting to think that this was nothing more than another ruse. At least we’re not doing this for nothing! I leaned in a little closer, causing the Harchen to focus on me. “Do you know who they are? What they look like? Where they might be?” Unzekep whined at my inquiries and covered her ear holes. “Please, not so loud. You’re hurting my ears.” I immediately retracted, doing my best to lower my volume. I flicked my ears in the affirmative, but she didn’t stop. Confused, I flicked them again, but she just continued to look at me as if I was going to restart my questions as soon as she took her hands away. Vekna stepped in and spoke. “She won’t be as loud anymore.” At that, Unzekep finally took her hands away. Difficulty with nonverbal cues. Of course they’d lock her up for that. “Okay. I…saw their back. I don’t know where they are. I know that they did something bad in the caves. They left when I came. Someone else was there, a Venlil. Shocked. It looked like what they did to me, but worse. More sloppy.”
That piqued my interest. Perhaps that’s the reason she spends most of her time down here? I had to ask. “Is that why you stay down here in the bowels of the reactors? In the tunnels under the city?”
She tapped her fingers together. “They… are safe. No eyes. No people who…less people who hurt me. I can hide. I have a house on the top, but… they are top, too. I can hide better down here.”
She looked to be getting scared again at the memory, so I took a soothing tone again. “Thank you. Please, can you tell me where you saw them? What caves?”
She fidgeted with her tail, which had curled around to her front. “Up in the mountains. Old iron mines that ran out a long time ago. Nobody but me ever went up there…and them now.” She clenched her tail. “I don’t go up there anymore.”
Iron mines. We had a location. A place that our target likely frequented. “Thank you. You have helped us so much by telling us that.” I bowed to her, “I promise, we will take them away from this place. You won’t have to hide anymore.”
She didn’t seem to calm down much at that, though. Instead, she looked…sad. “I do have to, I always have to….” She sighed. “People see me. Hate me. They… they will try to send me to another… they will hurt me again. Zap me… here.” She pointed to the spots on her head. The ones that never change their color.
I wanted to say she was wrong. I wanted to reassure her that things would be fine once the heads were captured. But so many would fear her. So many would… wait… “How did you get here?”
Unzekep looked at me in confusion, her color shifting bluish.
“When you were tossed out,” I explain, “you moved here. You had a house. You must have had people who helped you. Who don’t fear you.”
“My… my mom.” Her tail curled around her legs as she sat on the ground. “She found me. She’s in the gov…gover…she has power, covered for me all she could. She…she put me in at first, but when these showed up,” she pointed to her dead spots, “she tried to get me out. Didn’t work, but then they threw us out. It was…a long, long walk.”
Vekna gasped at that. “Wait, you mean to say you walked here? All the way from Dawn Creek? Why didn’t you take a…oh. No money, right?”
Unzekep shifted her underhue in confirmation. “No, no money. When I got here, I was so tired. But…now I have a job. And people usually don’t bother me. Not unless its-”
“Oy!” A voice echoed in the tunnels, “what are you lazy brahkasses doing?”
I looked over my shoulder at the source of the noise. A lanky off-white Venlil woman, most certainly past her prime, walked out of the cargo elevator and approached us. Upon seeing her, Unzekep tried her best to camouflage against the surface, but it wasn’t working all too well. “And quit with the color changing, you speh-licking lizard! I can still see your spots a [mile] away! What are you doing off the job, your shift isn’t over yet!”
I heard Unzekep whimper and shrink away towards the door. “Please, I’m sorry, they came! I was just-”
“You were just not working! Herd, you must love giving me excuses, huh?” To my horror, she picked up the unattended wrench in her paw and held it menacingly. Wait…Unzekep thought that…no. No no no, please let me be wrong.
Vekna stood to try and stop her, most likely coming to the same conclusion I had. “Ma’am, please, we only wanted-”
“Wanted to be rid of this useless Freak!” The woman interrupted, waving the wrench like a pointer, “about time someone got sent to deal with her!”
I flick my ears up in surprise. “Deal with her?” No, please no.
Unzekep was desperately trying to get back into the room but the door was jammed shut. She pulled on the handle as the other worker drew nearer. “Yeah. Chief engineers deal with problems, but this one’s my favorite!” Then, before either of us could react, she pulled her arm back and chucked the heavy metal wrench at Unzekep. It hit her squarely between her shoulders, and she flashed a myriad of different colors in an instant as she cried out in agony.
Wrong! No!
What followed was unrestrained chaos. I was next to the Harchen, seeing if her injury was severe. Before the same second was up, Vekna stepped up to the “chief engineer” and punched her squarely in the jaw. The poor imitation of a Venlil staggered to the side, stopping herself on the balcony as orange blood dripped from her, no, its mouth. “Wha-”
Vekna didn’t hesitate, grabbing it by the collar of its uniform and landing another square hit against its jaw, baring her teeth at the enemy. “What the sprak is wrong with you? Throwing a wrench at her like that? What did she ever do to you!?”
I barely heard her words. The world was orange. It wasn’t nearly orange enough. I got up, and moved over to where Vekna was holding it. I placed a paw on her shoulder as I glared at it. She looked back at me, and soon let it go, leaving it to me. I wasted no time, slamming an open paw against its snout and knocking it over the ledge of the catwalk. I heard gasps behind me, I didn’t care. I grabbed it by its scruff over the chasm. I heard it try to cry out like a Venlil. Not convincing.
I shook. Shook hard. I heard a clunk. Less resistance. The railing had decoupled. The thing was now hanging over the steep drop with nothing to hold it back from falling. Nothing but my grip on its scruff. It was screaming. Pleading. Sobbing. Orange. Now it’s real.
I shook its scruff, feeling one of its feet slip and scramble to find purchase again on the scaffold floor. “Do you feel powerful?” I am shouting. “Do you feel Safe?? Beating people with tools? Forcing them to work alone?! Look down there! Look!!” I used my other hand to grab its head and force it to turn one eye to the drain pit and the small layer of water far beneath. “If someone were to fall down there, how long would it take for them to be rescued? Huh? How Long?? HOW SPEHKING LONG?!”
It was crying. It wasn’t enough. “ANSWER ME!!!”
My vocal chords hurt. I didn’t care. So much orange. All around me orange. I felt something on my shoulder. A voice spoke from behind me. “Sharnet! That’s enou-”
My paw moved before I could think, releasing from its head and smacking the source of the voice away. Now I could focus, I could make it feel what Unzekep felt, what Tarlim felt, what Vekna…
A whine.
I looked back. Vekna was on the ground, an eye shut and orange on the ground.
Wrong orange. Her orange. Oh… oh Stars…
I was hanging a woman over the edge of a meltwater drain pit. She was bleeding. She was crying and shaking. My paw was all that stood between her and death. I quickly pulled her back to safety, tossing her to the ground as I rushed over to Vekna. “Vekna! Are you-” She shrunk away from me, a terrified look in her one open eye. No, no no no no. Please, no! I lowered my paws to the ground to show that I wasn’t a threat. She calmed down a little, rubbing at the side of her snout. “Sharnet, what was that? What happened?”
I had been about to kill somebody. That’s what happened. I had promised to be better, but I just took everything out in someone again. I… I… “I’m sorry…”
“You…” it was the woman again, “you were- you were going to…”
I had been. I wanted to. Stars, I STILL wanted to! How long had Unzekep been tormented by her? How many wrenches had been thrown?? What injuries did she have that this creature caused?? I- I- I Can’t!!! I can’t let them get away with it! I can’t let them take this out on Unzekep! I am a monster, but I will NOT let another monster hurt someone innocent! Not…Not like they did to Tarlim!!
“Do you even know who we are?” I am panting from the adrenaline, “Why we’re here?”
The woman just stuttered, crawling backwards as I stomped towards her. “I- I don’t - I-”
“We were sent here to look at the safety of this place,” I interrupted, “And you know what we found? A worker all alone on a job that requires more! Insufficient lighting!” I pointed to the broken scaffolding that I had hung her off, “railing that falls apart when leaned on! Deep pits with their emergency ladders missing! And You!” I pointed a claw right at her snout. A threat to the herd being signaled. “A-A puddle of Speh who beats their coworkers with metal wrenches!!” I leaned over her cowering form, teeth bared, claws braced. “Unless you leave the Harchen alone, and grovel before the safety board, I will make you WISH. I. Had. Let. Go.”
“Yes! Yes!” She sobbed, “By Solgalick, I promise! Don’t hurt me!”
I am a monster. So I play the part. “Then Leave!!”
I watch the white form scramble down the path out of sight, the scaffolding rattling as she runs practically on all fours. I don’t regret seeing her disappear. I turned back to Unzekep. She looked at me fearfully. As she should. “They shouldn’t bother you again,” I panted, “we will… find the overseer. You… you will be able to go up top soon. I promise.”
She looked up at me, her tail curled beneath her legs in fear. “Th… thank you. N-nobody ever p-protected me before.”
She is thankful. How can she be thankful? I am a monster. The only thing that made me different was I was attacking another monster. How can she do more than just fear me? “Is… is where she hit you… okay?”
“It… it hurts,” she whined, “but… less than last time.”
So she would be okay. I wanted to stay and help her. Get her somewhere to treat the bruises but… but I would just hurt her. I was still so angry, so upset. I would just take it out on her. I-I have to leave. They aren’t safe around me. Go!
I stood, eyeing the still open cargo elevator. “Good. I’m sorry, I must leave.” I began walking towards the elevator, my legs wobbling as the adrenaline began to fade. My paw found the buttons on their own, and I pressed the one to take us to the top. Faster. Please. I need to get away from them. I don’t want to hurt them. I-
“Sharnet!”
I jolted. My fur flared out. It was Vekna. She was in here with me. She was panting. One of her eyes was partially closed. My doing. “Hey, wait up! I need to get back up to the surface, too!”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to say anything. I don’t deserve to speak. I pressed myself into the wall, slumping against it as we ascended. Vekna panted, occasionally putting a paw over her eye and wincing. My doing. She looked at me and tried to put on a smile. “Well, that was a close shear, huh? I-I mean, when I…and then you…and then we…hah, I’m tired.”
I moved so I stood in the corner opposite of her. “You could sit as this takes us to the surface.” My voice felt monotone. I couldn’t gain the energy to emote. “It… a wrench… threw a wrench…”
I saw Vekna’s expression darken. “Yeah, she…she did. I don’t get why. It just seems so… unnecessary. So… cruel.”
“It is,” I stated. “They have to do it. They have to hurt others.”
I saw a veil of sadness fall over her body. “But why? Why do people… have to?”
The cargo elevator came to a stop. The door opened to the bare concrete floor of a power plant. I sighed as I exited. “Because we are monsters.”
​
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https://marvelstrikeforce.com/updates/blog-update-6-2-23
SUPER SKRULL AND DARK DIMENSION VI CELEBRATION
JUNE 2, 2023
Greetings Commanders,
Here's your Battle Plan for June 3rd through the 9th - all dates are Pacific Time:
June 4th - Orb Blitz
June 5th - Spoils of War - Battle in War - 2:00 PM (PDT)
June 5th - Sister Grimm - Blitz to earn Nico Minoru shards
June 5th - Ebony Maw Legendary Event (Repeating)
June 6th - To Infinity ECM
June 6th - Ruff Riffs - Open Intergalactic Orbs and Open Gold Orbs
June 6th - Battle of the Barks (WEB) - Earn Blitz Credits
June 7th - Strike Pass Season 35 featuring Gwenpool
June 8th - Star-Lord (Annihilation) character shards and Red Stars available
June 9th - Monster Mash Quick Rumble - Blitz with Dark Hunters
June 9th - Payday
DARK DIMENSION VI FIRST-CLEAR CELEBRATION
The next chapter in the epic Dark Dimension saga is rapidly approaching, with a target release date of June 27th at 5:00 PM (PDT)! Rewards have been improved compared to the previous Dark Dimensions to match the new challenge.
REQUIREMENTS
Dark Dimension VI nodes will require a full team of 5 characters per trait requirement, so you’ll eventually need at least 20 characters in total to complete it. This is the order in which the nodes will require the specific traits:
Missions 1-2: No trait restriction (any Gear Tier 18)
Missions 3-5: Global (Legendary EXCLUDED)
Missions 6-8: Cosmic (Legendary EXCLUDED)
Missions 9-11: City (Legendary EXCLUDED)
Missions 12-13: Legendary (non-Horseman)
Missions 14-15: Legendary and/or Apocalypse
FIRST-CLEAR WINNER REWARDS
As with previous new chapters of Dark Dimension, there will be a huge celebration following the first player to complete Dark Dimension VI fully.
The winner will personally receive the following:
A promotion to 7 Red Star of an eligible character of their choice (from a list of eligible characters)
> This cannot include any character that currently does not have 7 Red Stars available, like Apocalypse.
The player’s name, representative of their personal profile, is immortalized in an in-game environment.
> The name will be decided in conjunction with the dev team, and a choice must be made within 7 business days of being contacted after completing Dark Dimension VI.
> The name must be appropriate for in-game use and should represent the player, not a 3rd party or a general statement.
> The dev team will choose the name if the above criteria are unmet.
The general player base will receive the following:
The winner will get to choose two characters to allow players to individually decide which one of them they can receive 100 character shards and a 5 Red Star promotion for.
> A list of eligible characters for the winner to choose from will be provided.
A community poll to determine two Blitzes that will be run based on the characters (non-Legendary, non-Apocalypse) that the Dark Dimension VI winner used to complete nodes.
> Any tampering with poll results, such as the usage of bots, will be disregarded in determining the winners.
Select “10 for 10” offers.
SUPER SKRULL
The Fantastic Four have faced many formidable foes, but few were as equally matched as Super Skrull. His real name is Kl’rt, a Skrullian warrior who was gifted the ability to emulate all the superpowers of the Fantastic Four. This makes Super Skrull an incredibly powerful Villain, able to challenge the strongest of Heroes.
The first completion of Dark Dimension VI will grant 310 character shards of Super Skrull (5 Yellow Stars) and a 2-Red Star promotion.
The second completion of Dark Dimension VI will grant 500 character shards of Super Skrull (to get to 7 Yellow Stars) and a 4-Red Star promotion.
​
New Mechanic: Exposed Exposed is a new status effect that can be inflicted upon enemy characters. It’s a neutral effect, treated as neither positive nor negative, like Charged. Exposed has no inherent effects, but characters like Super Skrull have abilities that will react with characters inflicted with it. Exposed can only be cleared by abilities that specifically mention Exposed. Two characters are currently planned to have abilities with Exposed, with Super Skrull being one of them and a second to be announced in the near future. Multiple characters can benefit from an enemy inflicted with Exposed.
Traits: Villain, Cosmic, Bio, Brawler
Speed: 124
Basic - Skrull Barrage
If the primary target has Exposed, clear all Barrier on the primary target.
Attack primary target for 400% Piercing + Chain to 3 adjacent target for 370% Piercing.
Flip 3 positive effects into negative effects on each target.
Gain Defense Up for 2 turns and Safeguard for 2 turns + Barrier self for 10% of this character's Max Health.
If this character spawned with or has 2 or more VILLAIN allies, this attack ignores Defense Up.
If this character spawned with or has 2 or more HERO allies, apply Disrupted to each target.
This attack can Chain to Stealth targets. Counterattack breaks this Chain.
This attack gains +200% Extra Focus and is Unavoidable.
ISO - 8/Counter Attack/Assists:
If the primary target has Exposed, clear all Barrier on the primary target.
Attack primary target for 300% Piercing.
Flip 3 positive effects into negative effects on the primary target.
Barrier self for 10% of this character's Max Health.
If this character spawned with or has 2 or more VILLAIN allies, this attack ignores Defense Up.
If this character spawned with or has 2 or more HERO allies, apply Disrupted.
This attack gains +200% Extra Focus.
Special - Bending Flames - Energy Cost: 3/3
Attack primary target for 450% damage + apply Exposed.
If this character spawned with or has 2 or more HERO allies, apply Ability Block for 2 turns to the primary target.
Attack primary and adjacent targets for 400% damage + reduce Speed Bar by 20% for each target.
If this character spawned with or has 2 or more VILLAIN allies, reduce Speed Bar for all targets by an additional 40%.
Clear Stealth on all enemies.
Gain the following positive effects:
> +2 Defense Up, up to a maximum of 5.
> +2 Offense Up, up to a maximum of 5.
> 3 Deflect.
> Immunity for 2 turns.
> Gain Stealth.
This attack gains +500% Extra Focus and cannot be blocked, dodged, or counterattacked.
Ultimate - Psionic Super Nova - Energy Cost: 3/6
Apply Trauma for 2 turns to the primary target.
Flip Defense Up on all enemies.
Attack all enemies for 700% Piercing + apply Heal Block for 3 turns and Offense Down for 2 turns.
If this character spawned with or has 2 or more VILLAIN allies, this attack deals an additional +300% Piercing.
If this character spawned with or has 2 or more HERO allies, apply Trauma for 2 turns to all enemies.
Barrier self and all allies for 30% of this character's Max Health.
This attack gains +1,000% Extra Focus, is Unavoidable, and cannot be blocked or counterattacked.
Passive - Fantastic One
The first time this character falls under 50% Health, clear all negative effects from this character, heal self for 50% of this character's Max Health, and gain Stealth.
While this character has Stealth, allies gain +20% Damage Reduction.
On Stun, clear all Stun and apply Stun to the attacker.
When an enemy gains a positive effect or when this character or an ally gains a negative effect, heal self for 5% of this character's Max Health + fill this character's Speed Bar by 10%.
Lower Armor for all enemies by 25%.
Gain +50% Max Health. Allies gain +25% Max Health.
Gain +10% Damage and Focus + 10% for each HERO ally, up to a max of +50%.
Gain +10% Armor and Resistance + 10% for each VILLAIN ally, up to a max of +50%.
Enemies with Exposed cannot gain Safeguard, Deflect, or Evade. This does not prevent prolonging the duration of effects already on the target.
When an enemy with Exposed is attacked, this character attacks all enemies for 5% of this character's Max Health and Barrier this character for 5% of this character's Max Health.
TO INFINITY
Blast off on a quest to recruit Knowhere's ally-healing guard dog, Cosmo! Join the “bestest dog” in this upcoming Event Campaign Mission (ECM) as she leads Knowhere in a high-stakes standoff against a deadly threat.
Each node in the "To Infinity" Campaign rewards fragments for the Intergalactic Orb, which contains Cosmo character shards and certain characters with the limited-time Intergalactic trait (non-Legendary), which you can filter for in your roster. You'll need at least five characters with the limited-time "Intergalactic" trait to attempt the Heroic Difficulty, which also rewards Teal Gear.
The running time has been reduced from 14 days to 7 days, but the first-time rewards, Gold and gear node rewards, and the related Intergalactic Orb items have increased. This is to help streamline the experience and provide a more rewarding and focused daily experience.
In tandem, Korg's Intergalactic Tour is making a stop with the Ruff Riffs Event (details below) running for part of the ECM. The adventure begins on June 6th at 2:00 PM (PDT).
KORG'S INTERGALACTIC TOUR EVENTS
SPOILS OF WAR
Nick Fury is calling in a supply strike, recruiting willing Commanders in your Alliance to battle in Alliance War. Big payloads of T2 Level 1 and Level 4 Ions, along with Iso-8 Orbs are up for grabs. Synchronize watches as the operation begins June 5th at 2:00 PM (PDT).
RUFF RIFFS
Grab your keytar as Cosmo is going To Infinity by laying down some sick tracks in this tandem event. Fetch and tear open Intergalactic Event Orbs and Gold Orbs to score the Ghost Stompers and a festival-sized stash of Rock Concert Tickets. You’ll also earn character shards for characters with the Intergalactic trait, Augmented Astral Energy, and T2 Level 4 Ions. Top Commanders on the Leaderboard will be rewarded with 7 Red Stars for Cosmo and T2 Level 5 Ions. The jams start June 6th at 2:00 PM (PDT).
BATTLE OF THE BARKS WEB MILESTONE
Cyber support for Ruff Riffs will operate simultaneously and get even more Ruff Riffs milestone progress into your paws. Deploy your forces into Blitz to bring home as many Blitz Credits as possible to take advantage of the second prong in this attack on June 6th at 2:00 PM (PDT).
STAR-LORD (ANNIHILATION) FLYING IN
The charismatic Knowhere Brawler with blinding dance moves is reporting for Alliance War action! You can blast off your Knowhere team when his character shards become available on June 8th at 2:00 PM (PDT) in the Elemental Gunslinger Orb for 675 Power Cores, which gives you a chance to earn up to 180 shards for Star-Lord (Annihilation).
You can also grab tons of Star-Lord (Annihilation) shards from his special offers in the Supplies Store. Upon your next game login after a purchase, you'll get backstage access to limited-time deals on Gold, Training Modules, and other resources to power him up.
Make sure to open Red Star Orbs starting on Star-Lord (Annihilation)'s release day, when he'll have an increased drop rate - signaled by the Inbox announcement.
MONSTER MASH
S.T.R.I.K.E. is elevating the ruthless Dark Hunters team to lead the charge in Blitz for the upcoming Quick Rumble. Claw, bite, and blast your way through waves of enemies to extract Rock Concert Tickets, Ability Materials for roster upgrades, and Blitz Credits. The melee begins on June 9th at 2:00 PM (PDT).
S.T.R.I.K.E. PASS
Get ready for Season 35 of S.T.R.I.K.E. Pass:
Start Date: June 7th at 2:00 PM (PDT)
Featured Reward: Gwenpool
CHARACTER AVAILABILITY
Firestar to the Basic Orb, Ultimus Orb, Mega Orb (replacing Magik), Premium Orb, and Supplies Store in the near future. Be on the lookout for an Inbox alerting you to this update.
ELITE STORE UPDATE
Gwenpool will soon be available to purchase Red Stars directly for Silver and Gold Promotion Credits.
FREE CLAIM FRIDAY
Jam out with this Friday Free Claim (available until June 3rd at 2:00 PM (PDT)) that'll help your progress in Stone Cold Spiders with Campaign Energy, Korg's Intergalactic Tour with Rock Concert Tickets, and give your Knowhere Support, Cosmo, the shard zoomies:
6,000 Rock Concert Tickets
100 Campaign Energy
5 Cosmo character shards
Until next time…
Good luck, Commanders!
**Please note that the information in this blog is subject to change before going live in the game.**

Kita and Raya have made their way back to the busy passageways of Canyon City. The rising sun beams against a giant tarp that covers the entryway to the city like a great wall of material. The city doesn't expand the entirety of the Canyon, and to avoid myst entering any large openings, this end of the city also acts as a gateway.
A few small gaps are cut at the base of the fabric to allow passage in and out of the city, leading both of them straight into the poor district. It probably has a name, but Kita has no idea what that might be.
She just wants to get to the strip so she can eat something. The growling of her stomach last night kept waking her up, so her mood's a bit grim this morning.
Fuck!
She turns to Raya with a panicked look on her face. Her mouth hangs open as she swallows in hesitation as she thinks of asking Raya a dreaded question.
"Do you have any coin," Kita sighs, expecting the worst.
"Why?" Raya asks.
"Seriously? You're not starving?"
"I've been trained to withstand the body's urge for food,"
"Ugh," Kita rolls her eyes. "Well, I wasn't. If I don't eat something soon, I might have to eat some of these poor people,"
"I'll snag some coin once we reach the strip," Raya winks at Kita, prompting a sense of relief in Kita.
"I think we should be friends again," Kita smiles, now thinking about what to order. But her excitement dwindles at the smell of what she could only describe as death. It's putrid here. As if these people have been shitting on the very ground they walk on. Trash is scattered around all the tents and pathways, buried in what better be mud.
Every person they walk past looks sick, or pale. Food must be scarce for most people here. Coin must be hard to come by. They're all dressed in grey or black rags. Nothing good for travelling or even warmth.
"Glad I won't have to eat them," Kita spews, "This is gross,"
"Wealth is so poorly distributed in many cities. The elites of this world are truly fowl,"
"No, no. I was talking about all of these poor people,"
"What?" Raya's expression drops in confusion.
"They all look like they're dying. Maybe I should just end their misery and consume them," Kita chuckles. It's not a bad idea- These people couldn't defend themselves anyway. They're probably weak because they don't get enough food.
"This is no laughing matter," Raya chides Kita, "These people are being mistreated. They deserve better,"
"I can give them better," Kita scoffs,
"Death is not a solution to suffering,"
"Excuse me, wealthy elites, would you mind sharing your coin with the deprived?" Kita jests.
"A forceful hand is needed," Raya responds, clenching her fist as she continues to observe the mess.
"I'd love to see that forceful hand of yours, Princess," Kita teases.
•°•°•°•
The two of them made their way to the strip without any issues. Raya used the coin she had to buy the both of them a meal. A crispy dough-like bun with lettuce, tomato, and some type of meat inside it- Apparently it's called beef. They got it from the only kitchen in the city that sells beef, so it was really expensive. But Kita managed to hassle Raya until she gave in, despite her overwhelming reluctance.
Worth it.
The chef told them it's a dish created by the old humans. They would usually add a slice of cheese as well but that would have doubled the price of the meal. If Kita had more souls, she'd have tried to scare the guy into adding the cheese for free.
Oh well, she'll just bring more coin next time. Something seems sacrilegious about harming the chef. He's a genius. A sorcerer of taste. He deserves the coin, honestly.
"How are we going to find this kid, Jan?" Raya asks Kita.
Kita holds up a finger, signalling Raya to wait as Kita takes the last bite of her meal- Closing her eyes to savour the taste. Her body must remember this meat, and find it in every life she lives. She's probably had it before, but it seems like a plus side of dying is that she can have experiences for the first time again.
Kita opens her eyes and points to the clutter of bridges suspended between the two walls of the canyon, where a group of guys occupy one of the walkways- Each of them puffing out smoke as they chat away.
"They're Vald's raiders?"
"The ones who captured me. Those assholes deserve a beating," Kita says.
"How do you plan on achieving that with only one spell?"
"I'd have more if you let me consume those poor people,"
"Ugh," Raya scoffs, "I'll handle them. Just cast a shield,"
"Thank you, Princess," Kita chuckles.
They both leave the bustling strip and head towards a suspended bridge that leads to the network above. They slowly approach the wafts of smoke before Raya tells Kita to stop at the end of the bridge- quite a distance away from the raiders. None of them pays any attention to Raya and Kita beyond a few glances, presuming they're just a few civilians.
That prick is here too. The one with the glasses and steel teeth that gave her the smug smile. Talked to Kita like she was a nuisance.
I want his soul.
"The jerk with the sunglasses and steel teeth," Kita says.
"What about him?" Raya asks.
"He's the one we'll question,"
Raya nods as she crouches beside Kita and draws a small handgun that she had holstered in her pants. She holds a second magazine in her hand as she finds a comfortable grip on the weapon.
"Ready?" Kita asks.
"Mhmm," Raya grunts, aiming down the sight of her weapon.
"Hey, asshole!" Kita yells across the bridge.
The soft chatter she heard swiftly dissipates as she grabs their attention. They all turn to her with uninviting glares. The sunglasses guy steps out from amongst his group of friends, raising his glasses to squint across the bridge.
"Is that the lying girl I see?" He chuckles.
"Do you work for Chevo?" She calls out sarcastically before casting the shield around herself and Raya.
The guy steps back, noticing that Raya has a weapon. But a quick shot to his thigh drops him to the floor, wailing in pain. Raya fires at the rest of the group, with brief intervals between each shot as she shifts her aim. Trying to use a single bullet to take out each of them.
They are all in a panic as the ticking of Raya's gunfire hits them one at a time. A few of them fire back amongst the mass shuffling but to no avail. Each bullet received is caught in Kita's shield and then falls to the floor. Raya reloads her weapon after taking out half of the crowd and continues her merciless firing.
This is more of a massacre than a beating. Kita loves it. She feels nothing for these bastards and after trying to imprison her, this is merely a debt being repaid. Next time they should listen to Kita when she tells them she has no idea who the fuck Chevo is.
But there won't be a next time. Not for most of them.
Kita drops her shield as she hears the second click of Raya's weapon. She hastily runs towards the asshole who somehow kept his sunglasses on this whole time.
She grabs him by the collar as he mumbles in pain, clutching his leg.
"Where's the boy?" Kita interrogates him with rage-filled eyes.
"What boy?" He asks.
Kita kicks the wound in his leg, prompting him to scream. "Wrong answer," She says with an unblinking glare into his eyes.
"Where is Jan?" Kita yells at the prick with the sunglasses.
"Are you talking about the kid without a soul?" He asks, clutching onto his wounded leg.
"That's the one," Kita confirms, threatening to step on his bullet wound again.
"Vlad went to trade him to some rich folk in the East,"
"Who?" Kita prys.
"I don't know," The guy squirm's at Kita's aggression. "Some family that collects the soulless,"
"What's the name of the city?" Raya asks from behind Kita.
"It doesn't have one," He responds with worry, "But I know it floats on a river or something,"
Kita releases his collar, shoving him to the ground as she does.
"We even now?" He asks as he tries to sit up again.
Kita doesn't respond. She just raises a hand towards his face and consumes the shadowy soul from his body before it crashes to the ground.
"Yeah, we're even," Kita responds.
"I made sure not to kill them all," Raya says, pointing to a few of the groaning groupies on the ground. "Eat up,"
Kita walks amongst the raiders' bodies, searching for ones that still hold life. As she stands above the few who do, she draws each of their souls into the palm of her hand.
"So, we're going East?" Raya asks, picking up a few magazines for her handgun from the raiders' bodies. She also loots each of them for any coin they might have and places it in a backpack she got from one of them.
"You're coming with me?" Kita asks, surprised considering their deal has technically come to a close.
"If the kid knows something about the dark one. I want to hear it,"
"It's okay to admit you're totally obsessed with me," Kita chuckles.
"It's more like enjoying the taste of poison," Raya responds.
Kita feels a potent shudder throughout her body as she consumes the last living souls among them. Having consumed each of them in succession, she realizes the sensation that passes through her gets better the more souls she already has- She couldn't imagine how orgasmic two hundred feels.
"I want more," Kita blurts out with a grit in her voice. A lower-pitched voice harmonizing with her own.
It scares her. Snapping her out of her momentary daze. For a brief moment, she lost herself. She took a back seat to something else… Someone else.
^{AUTHOR'S NOTES
Read ahead on RoyalRoad [https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/68702/soul-stealer-anti-hero-reincarnation-fantasy](https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/68702/soul-stealer-anti-hero-reincarnation-fantasy})
^{Kita's thoughts - Post Chapter 12
"Oh great, I broke my brain,"}

Babaganoush: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…
Crowd: One fall!
And is for… the WiR Television Championship! Already in the ring, the challenger, weighing in at 235 pounds, The Suuuuuuperstar!
Banaganoush: And Already in the ring, the champion, “Guaranteed, Gabe Garvin!”
Ding Ding Ding!
Mann: And the bell rings here, and we are back underway at Sound Off! Presented by Dexter Flux.
The Superstar does a little spin as he approaches Gabe Garvin and the two back off from each other. The two wrestlers stare down a moment, before launching at each other with a collar and elbow tie-up. The Superstar gains the upper hand and locks Garvin in a headlock. Garvin, in a headlock, however, gets pushed into the ropes, where he gets pushed away. Garvin looks for a back body drop as The Superstar bounces off the ropes, but eats a boot for his trouble. Garvin tries to regain control by lifting Superstar on his shoulders, Superstar shifts back to the ground, but gets lifted and dropped on his chest! The Superstar is forced to roll out of the ring to recover.
Crowd: [Apathetic Silence]
Garvin goes under the bottom rope and gets quickly caught with a kick to the stomach. The Superstar throws Garvin into the barricade and begins to hammer away.
Woodbridge: And The Superstar turning things around here!
Mann: And folks, we’ll be back after these messages from our sponsors!
Woodbridge: Why are we going to commercial, the match just st-
The following advertisement plays
We fade back into the action with a crowd shot, which stays longer than comfortable on a shot of 40 apathetic fans. As it cuts back to the ring, we see Gabe Garvin deliver a vertical suplex to The Superstar, before going to a pin that convinces nobody of its success.
Mann: And we are back here at Sound Off! Garvin has regained control here!
The Superstar rolls to the corner and forces a momentary break. As the ref tries to restore order, The Superstar throws an overhand shot at Garvin- who blocks it and responds in kind, backing the Superstar back into the corner, and whipping him across the ring. As Superstar bounces off with a thud, Garvin hits the ropes beside him and hits a bulldog. Garvin goes for a cover, which gets a…
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
The Superstar flops into the corner once more, and Garvin is halted from pulling him away by the official. As The Superstar exits the corner, Garvin is right back on top of him, whips him off the ropes, and delivers a back body drop! The Superstar rolls out of the ring once more, but Garvin follows in pursuit. Garvin charges in, but gets caught with a drop-toe hold, and crashes into the announce table.
Mann: Watch out!
Woodbridge: Garvin seeking to capitalize on his newfound momentum here…
Crowd: [Does not care]
The Superstar throws Garvin back into the squared circle, and delivers a club to the back of his head, Followed by stomps and a knee drop. Superstar waits for Garvin to try and get back up, before stomping again, followed by a punch. As Garvin powers back to his feet, The Superstar looks to grab him, but Garvin pulls him in for a belly-to-belly suplex! Superstar shuffles into the corner, followed by Garvin, who eats a boot for his trouble before The Superstar storms out with a lariat. The Superstar looks for a chin lock, but Garvin is too oily, and he slips free. Superstar retaliates for this oily transgression with a fist and applies a headlock to a cornered Garvin.
Mann: And The Superstar getting some offense here, Garvin is in trouble! Can our TV champion save the match?
The Superstar works the headlock in the corner until the ref forces a break, at which juncture The Superstar turns around and throws his fists at Garvin. Following this, The Superstar lifts Garvin to his feet and goes for a whip, but as Garvin hits the other turnbuckle, he lifts his left foot to kick an incoming Superstar! As Garvin looks to capitalize, The Superstar grabs the leg that kicked him and takes Garvin down to the mat. Superstar drops an elbow on Garvin’s knee, and a second elbow, before looking for a knee twist, which Garvin pushes away from.
Mann: And Garvin fends off the Superstar’s onslaught! What a heroic effort by our TV Champion!
Crowd: [awkward silence]
Garvin sells his injured knee for a moment, before using it to pull a charging Superstar down with a drop-toe hold, flip Superstar over, and try to apply a submission, but this time, The Superstar pushes Garvin away! The Superstar delivers an elbow to a staggered Garvin, before delivering a Russian leg sweep, and going for a cover.
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
The Superstar is in disbelief that his leg sweep failed to get the victory, and he pulls Superstar by the arm, before kicking his downed body in the rib. Garvin throws himself off the ground to throw a punch at Superstar’s gut, but as he gets up, he is once again cut off by a clothesline, and a pin attempt.
ONE
TWO
Kickout.
Crowd: [Apathetic, a smattering of boos, and a single portly fan in a Shooting Association shirt attempting to start a “boring” chant]
Woodbridge: The Superstar is unable to get the best of Garvin despite some strong offense here, and the longer this goes on, the more I like the TV Champion’s chances in this match.
Mann: And all the Garvinites in the crowd cheering for their hero to make a comeback!!
Crowd shot of bored audience quickly pans back to the ring, where The Superstar is applying an arm wringer
Mann: And this match of course is presented by our sponsors, over at Mann Corporation!
The Superstar transitions to a half camel clutch, still clutching the arm of Garvin
Mann: Mann Corporation is committed to providing high-quality products to all of our loyal customers! Use code “WiR” at checkout for 3.5% off select items at MannCoStore.com!
The Superstar has transitioned into a standing headlock
Mann: If you buy within the next 7 minutes, all Gabe Garvin merchandise is 10% off! Act fast! And now, back to the action!
Garvin powers out of the headlock and whips The Superstar into a corner. He charges in, and misses, as The Superstar moves out of the way, and attempts to lock in another arm wringer. Garvin tries to power out but fails, and the hold is applied.
Superstar: ASK HIM!
Garvin does not submit, and once again tries to lift himself upwards. Superstar sees this, and shifts so that he is lying down on the back of Garvin, still applying the arm wringer. Garvin winces in agony and reaches for the rope with his free hand. Unable to reach them, Garvin Begins to power himself upwards for the third time, and this one is successful, as he slowly works his way up to his feet, Superstar now trapped in the air in a fireman’s carry. The Superstar pushes himself off as Garvin gets to his feet, and tries to throw a punch. Trying to reclaim the momentum, The Superstar goes for an Irish whip, and looks for a dropkick as Garvin returns, but to no avail! Garvin holds onto the rope, and The Superstar crashes back to the ground.
Mann: And Garvin escaping the hold! Superstar is dazed!
Woodbridge: And this could be the opening the TV Champion needs to regain control of this match! The Superstar is in trouble, as Gabe is Garving up!
Mann: It’s Garvin’ time!
Garvin bounds off the ropes and leaps for a flying clothesline!
Mann: What a maneuver!
Garvin hits the ropes again, and nails a staggered Superstar with another flying clothesline! The Superstar writhes in agony as he tries to pull himself back to a standing base, where Garvin is waiting for him. Garvin bounces off the ropes, and nails a rising Superstar with a shoulder block.
Mann: Vintage Garvin! And he has the upper hand! The fans here on their feet!
Crowd: [Silent, sitting down]
Garvin ascends to the second rope, and as a wounded Superstar ascends once more, he leaps for a double ax handle, but nobody is home! The Superstar looks to capitalize with a DDT, but it gets blocked by Garvin, who fights out, throws Superstar against the ropes, and hits another shoulder block. With The Superstar down, Garvin looks at the crowd, backs against the ropes, and hits a fist drop!
One guy in the crowd Crowd: YEEEAAAH WE FUCKIN LOVE THE FIST DROP YEEEEAAHHH
Crowd: WOOO!! GAR-VIN! GAR-VIN!
Woodbridge: And the people exploding for Garvin’s fist drop! (?)
Garvin looks almost surprised at the suddenly raucous crowd, and motions for his finishing maneuver! As soon as he indicates he isn’t going for another fist drop, the crowd dies and goes back to their silence. Superstar stumbles to his feet, gets his arm trapped, and’s he’s lifted into the air, before being slammed down with a Pump Handle Slam! Garvin goes into the cover…
ONE
TWO
THREE!
DING DING DING!!
Mann: And Gabe Garvin retains!
Woodbridge: His victory was all but Garunteed
Babaganouh: And here is your winner, at a time of Seven minutes and Forty-Five seconds… Garunteed Gaaaaaabeeeeee Gaaaaarviiiin!!
Crowd [Scant Murmors]
Mann: And tonight we have seen a truly memorable title defense from our heroic TV Champion, Gabe Garvin. And to watch all of Garvin’s matches from the comfort of your home, go to WWW dot Wrestle Is Reddit dot com slash Garvin for all the latest updates! And a special thanks to our sponsor for this show, JDate!
The monitor shows Dexter Flux on screen, who immediately gets a crowd pop 10x louder than anything of the past 7:45
Crowd: FLUX! FLUX! FLUX! WE LOVE FLUX!
Flux: I'm not… I'm not Jewish, but that's really not what JDate is about. It's about like… dating. JDate is what JDate is. That's what it is. I'm Dexter Flux. I'm the President of the United States. Thank you for your service.
The monitor cuts back to the crowd going bananas for Flux. A guy is screaming and beating the shit out of the old woman sitting next to him because he loves Dexter Flux so much.
Mann: And you too can be just like these happy people if you buy a Gabe Garvin T-Shirt, now 4% off at select TJ Maxx stores near you!
Garvin holds up his title on the apron while the crowd cheer for Flux, and a photographer gets a photo of the victorious champion in front of a cheering crowd. As Garvin gets down from Bret’s rope, the camera cuts to…
Something else. It's shot differently, worse cameras that pan around instead of cut. No commentary. No acknowledgment. It's a documentary shoved in the middle of a wrestling show.
We're in a church basement, or a community gym, or something like that, with hardwood floors and dim, white light pouring in through windows near the top of the room. There's a table next to the door with a coffee machine and paper cups and a door to the outside propped open, so people can step out to smoke. A voice speaks up.
Teddy (O.S.): I don't think I've ever been a good person.
We move to the middle of the room. There's a circle of people sitting in chairs, looking at one whose face is obscured but whose voice most WiR diehards recognize. The circle's watching him carefully, skeptically. A couple of them glance at the camera as it moves by, which seems like an outsider - a perverse interloper. Some of them are recognizable, heels from all over the wrestling scene. Most of them seem miserable to be here, unrepentant. One figure, dressed up, seems more warm in his posture, but we don't see his face either.
Teddy (O.S.): I don't think I've ever really tried, I mean. I've been a good guy, for a little bit. Here and there. But I wasn't who I was. I was somebody trying to get cheered, trying to make sure they loved me. And when they didn't, I just… I snapped.
Finally, we see him, the object of their attentions. He is sitting in a chair, dressed down in a t-shirt, paper cup of coffee by his feet. Teddy Coronado. There's no charisma to the way he speaks. He was a preacher once, electrifying, manic, an embodiment of television airwaves. Now, he's mumbling. The camera zooms in on his face, as he tried to put together the next few words, shaking his head. The words seem ridiculous to say and maybe that's because they're wrestling words and this man - sitting here, in the basement - does not seem to be a wrestler.
Teddy: I'm Teddy Coronado and… Sorry. I'm Teddy and I'm a heel.
Others (all together): Hi, Teddy.
He cringes at them.
Teddy: I've been…
He stops, sucking on his tongue. It's the noise of a crowd, again.
Teddy: I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this.
Spence (O.S.): It's alright.
The camera pans over to a much more shocking face, Spence Cooper, dressed like a normal person, with a buttoned-up v-neck, instead of his usual attire as one half of the Golden State Stars, wearing mesh shirts and whatever nonsense is left. The rest of the group turns to him with a sort of reverence that seems wholly unfitting for him.
Spence: This is hard stuff, Teddy, alright - this is hard stuff, everybody. I mean, when I was a member of the Golden State Stars-
Chaz (O.S): GOLDEN! STATE! ST-
Spence: Chaz.
We whip pan to Chaz Levine, who is also there. He is dressed less like a normal person.
Chaz: Sorry, bro, still working on it.
Spence: We all have hiccups, is what I was saying. This is hard work. That's why not everybody does it. But it's good work. You've been here for a long time, right?
He's staring at the ground as he said it, as if ashamed.
Teddy: Six months.
Spence: Six months and it's still hard. That should show to everyone else here that even the best of us You can do it, Teddy. You can say it.
Teddy takes a breath, tries to put it together. After a few seconds, he looks back up. And it's almost there. That spark, that fire in his eyes.
Teddy: I've… been thinking about things, recently. I've been thinking about my time as a wrestler. I've done a lot of things in this business - and I'm not bragging about that, but I'm saying it because I need to say it. I was the best guy on the mic for a long time. I was good in the ring, too. I beat some of the best people in that company and sometimes I even did it clean.
There's a chuckle at that, in the room, and he gives a rueful smile, for a second, looking back on everything. Then it fades. So does the light in his eyes. Teddy looks at his feet, again, but the rest of them are listening, now. Most of them hate this place, but they listen
Teddy: I lied, I cheated, I stole. I used every dirty fucking trick in the book - you can look. My granddad wrote it. I used weapons. I hired my own ref. I made my own matches. I attacked people from behind the scenes. I once wrestled with a cardboard cut-out, so I could move its torn-off foot under the bottom rope to get a break.
He's looking up, now, and the fire isn't in his eyes, but it's in his words.
Teddy: I gave up everything for that title, for those accolades, for those year-end awards, for my hand raised up at the end of the night. I've got a claim to being the best champion in that company's history. I went into this business looking for all of that. I said to myself that I'd be different than my family, from my great-grandfather, from my grandfather, from my…
He stops. He leaves the final word unsaid.
Teddy: But that's not what I'm saying. I had the chance to change my name. I had a shitty start, but I had my own agency. What I did was my own. And by the end, I gave up that. I gave up my decency, my integrity, my dedication to this art, I gave up everything I have - and I don't have anything to show for it.
There's a crippling silence, for a few moments, the kind of silence you only notice when everything felt so loud before it.
Teddy: I don't talk to any of the roster I was a part of. My name doesn't get mentioned in promos. The fans - the fans that used to jeer my name, who serenaded me after I was forced out of that company - they don't think about me. I gave up everything I ever had and I don't…
He takes a shallow breath, emotional, seeming to hold back tears as he rubs his temples. A man offers him a tissue box but he waves it aside. For as much pride as he has managed to put aside, he can't allow himself to cry in front of the only people he's ever been genuine to.
Teddy: I got an offer, recently. You guys know about it.
Teddy half-heartedly gestures at the camera and a couple of them glance back at it. Chaz, on the edge of frame, flexes a little bit when reminded a camera is watching him.
Teddy: I got an offer to come back to WiR. They're coming back, apparently, again. They've offered me a couple times, over the years, and I almost took it. I even said I would, once, before. Back when I still had the bookstore. And then I started training and I became what I was, again, and I gave up the bookstore, and I was so fucked up I couldn't even make it to the show, because I realized, in that ring…
He pauses and they're all listening. He hates that, because he knows why they're listening and why he's talking. Because the fire, suddenly, is there. It's there in his eyes. It's there in his voice. It's there in the way he sits in that chair, the knotting his hands do as he talks, but most of all it's there in the crowd, listening with rapt attention.
Teddy: There's the Teddy Coronado with the money, with the television show, with the betrayal and the burials, even the Teddy who dressed up like a dentist and said he hated bullies. They say I've been a lot of people, had a lot of gimmicks, but the trick is they're all the same one. They're all somebody who needs to have the whole world know that they're the best. But they're all masks. Facades. And when I got into that ring, lit by halogen lights, no one in the audience, no one facing me in that ring, no one there but me, I realized the truth.
The fire in his voice has burned away and, now, he speaks in ashes: harsh, more serious than he's ever been, and more painful. He is being true.
Teddy: I don't know what's beneath those masks. I don't. A part of me is terrified that there isn't anything there. That the shit I've done, to other people, to the industry as a whole, that's who I am. I've tried to find out who it is, out here. I tried to open a bookstore, I tried to become a trainer, I tried to get as far away from that ring as possible.
He stops, again. The crowd is fully drawn in, now, and a furrowed brow of concern on Spence's face breaks through the mask of supportiveness.
Teddy: But, when I got that email, that offer… I think I realized that there's only one way for me to figure that out-
Spence: Teddy…
Teddy turns his eyes to Spence, but there's a weariness to his eyes. He's already made up his mind. He made it up before he even entered this room, before he even entered the cameras in, before Spence even says the thing he knows he's about to say.
Spence: Teddy, I know what you're about to say. And I want to tell you in front of the group, because I know you don't want there to be secrets here. I've been lured that way. We all have, but you have to know that there is a risk to what you're about to say. Some people can recover, can re-enter that ring, Teddy, but some people can't.
There is a warmth in Spence's eyes that make you realize that this is not the same man that was a Golden State Star. Not anymore. But he knows that he can't change his mind.
Spence: This is in your hands, Teddy. It always is.
Teddy sits there, genuinely considering the words and then he smiles. Knows how absurd what he's about to say is. And then he speaks, just as resolute as before. No. More so.
Teddy: I know. But I hear it in me. I hear the roar of the crowd, with me or against me. I hear my opponent's music hit. I hear the bending of the mat, the straining of the ropes, the fight. I know that who I was in there was a monster. But I know that, if there's something of me left, beneath all of this, it's in there.
He stands up.
Teddy: This is what I'm choosing to do, Spence. I'm sorry.
Teddy walks out of the circle, across the hardwood floor, and steps out the door. The camera doesn't follow.
Javier (O.S.): Ladies and gentlemen, the Independent Champion, Diiiiiiiiick Dover!
We cut back to Knott's Berry Farm, where the crowd reacts in a mixed fashion to the announcement of Dick Dover. Prisoner of Society hits, and Dick Dover walks through the curtain with the Independent Championship over his shoulder.
Mann: The Independent Champion enters the building, he says he has an announcement to make.
Woodbridge: That’s right, Shay. We don’t know what it’s going to be, but when Dover walked into the venue this afternoon, he insisted on addressing the crowd.
Dover grabs a mic from Maurice Chondon ringside, then walks up the stairs, wipes his feet on the apron, and enters the ring. He then turns to face the crowd.
Dover: I know you all have a lot of thoughts about me, but let’s get one thing clear right now. There’s been a lot of time gone by since you last saw me. But don’t get me wrong, one thing wouldn’t have changed no matter how long we’ve been apart. I am still your Independent Champion.
Crowd: mix of boos and applause
Dover: But there have been changes. Changes in the world and changes with myself, and it’s time for me to share with you all some changes I’ve made. When WiR went on hiatus i-
Nitroglycerin hits as Joey McCarty storms out from behind the curtain holding a mic.
Crowd: Boooooooooo
McCarty: No no no no no no fuck this shit. I know what this is. I’m not stupid.
McCarty stomps down to the ring.
McCarty: Dick, you’ve talked all this talk about being a fighting champion, but I know a retirement announcement when I see one.
McCarty slides into the ring and pops up to his feet, pacing around Dover.
McCarty: and you must be out of your mind to think you can walk out of here title held high, to a cheering crowd, and go out as champion. You’re out of your goddamn mind.
Dover walks towards McCarty.
Dover: You don’t even-
McCarty: Save it, honestly. I came into this business as an outsider, and I was given the crash course. I don’t know where you learned this, it might have been in dogwater Florida, but it certainly wasn’t in Toronto.
Dover: Joey, you’ll shut the hell up if you know what’s good for you.
McCarty: What I was taught is that you always go out on your back. If you won’t do that, then I’ll do that for you.
Dover goes to talk, but McCarty slaps him.
McCarty: So what you’re going to do right now, is lie down, stare at the lights, and you can end your career the way you’re supposed to, and watch me coronate myself as a triple crown champion.
Dover: Interesting point Joey, counterpoint:
Dover hits McCarty with a spinning back elbow, sending him to the mat!
Dover: You don’t tell me what to fucking do. So here’s what we’re actually going to do, I’m going to show these people I am a fighting champion, we’re going to get a ref out here, and I’m going to whoop your ass
Crowd: YAYYYYY
Mann: HOLD ON A SECOND, DOVER. YOU DON’T GET TO PROMISE PEOPLE MATCHES, I MAKE THE MATCHES but that is a good idea so lets get a ref out here BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Crowd (a little more confused): YAYYY
Jeff Boone sprints out from backstage at full speed and dives headfirst under the rope into the ring.
Boone: ALRIGHTWEGOTAREGULARCHAMPIONSHIPMATCHONEFALLLET’SKEEPITCLEANBOYSNOCLOSEDKNUCKLESONPUNCHESNOHAIRPULLINGIWON’THAVEANYNONSENSEINTHISRINGYOUHEREMEOKRINGTHEBELL
The bell rings, leaving both men a little stunned at how quickly this match has started. Joey moves into action first, lurching for Dover, arms outstretched in a clear indication that Joey wants to initiate a classic “Test of Strength.” Dick Dover knocks away the hands and shoots for a double-leg takedown, sending Joey sprawling to the mat.
Mann: Wow, an incredibly technical start for Dover. Sometimes I think we forget home in depth his wrestling knowhow is.
Dick Dover is slowly overpowering Joey from underneath, when a glint shines in the Canadian’s eyes. A brutal knee to the face erupts from McCarty, slamming into Dover’s nose. Dover steps back, covering his damaged face. Blood begins to drip onto the mat.
Woodbridge: Wow, Dover is absolutely busted up!
Paisner: That’s the opportunistic streak of McCarty showing. Give him an inch, he’ll take a mile and sell you back the inch for triple it’s market value.
Dover shakes his head, trying to clear up the fog inflicted from Joey’s move. Before he gets a chance to recover, Joey is behind him, snaking his arms up to lock Dover in a full nelson. Dover is in a precarious position, but he digs his fingers into Joey’s eyes, cause the hold to release.
Woodbridge: A savvy veteran move, but is it legal?
Mann: Absolutely not. It seems like this ref is going to let them play on, for some reason. Very hands off.
Woodbridge: When you’ve got two fighters who will do whatever it takes to win, sometimes it’s best to just let them go at it. Anything less than that could give the other an unfair advantage.
Dover throws a couple quick strikes to McCarty’s midsection. Joey winces and bends over, giving Dick the opportunity to hit him with a Leg Drop Bulldog that pounds Joey into the mat!
Crowd: WOOOOAH!
Dover capitalizes on McCarty’s grounded position, dropping some falling elbows into the fallen man. But the third elbow doesn’t land cleanly, given Joey the opportunity to flip over and nail another knee into Dover, this time right on the side of his head.
Mann: Hard to imagine these headshots won’t have an effect on Dover if this match goes long.
A quick leap to his feet, and Joey finally has the position he wanted in the beginning, locking up Dover in a contested full collar tie. He gains the upper hand, and begins controlling Dover towards the corner. A grasp of Dover’s wounded head, and then suddenly McCarty is rubbing Dover’s face all over the ringpost!
Crowd: OOOF
But Dover isn’t one to take something like this without fighting back. A wild leg flail nails McCarty right in the gonads, sending him backwards in pain. The ref looks to step in, but then decides not to as Dover runs towards his and lands an uppercut into lariat combo that sends Joey back down to the ground. Dover attempts a cover!
1!
No!
Joey kicks out with relative ease, prompting Dover to consider more violence towards the grounded wrestler.
Mann: What could this devilish man be considering next?
Dover sits on McCarty.
Woodbridge: A chair!
A quick pivot from Dover, and suddenly Joey is up in the air, face in anguish from the inverted surfboard stretch.
Woodbridge: A painful chair!
Suddenly, a voice rings out from the crowd.
Random Fan: DOVER IS STILL LAME!
Dover, mildly irritated by the fan, releases the hold on Joey, sending the stretched out man to the mat. He gets up and aggressively points to the crowd in the direction of the mysterious fan.
Dover: Hey Asshole! You wanna see lame? I’ll show you lame!
Dover grabs Joey’s hair and becomes slamming punches into the downed man’s face.
Crowd: LAME DOVER LAME DOVER LAME DOVER
A frustrated Dover now releases the hold and turns his back on Joey, heading over to the ringpost. He begins to remove the cover. At this point, blood has completely covered his chest. Joey stirs and stands, sneaking up to behind Dover. A quick snatch and Joey has surprise rolled up Dover for a pin!
1!
2!
No!
Dover kicks out and gets back to his feet, but Joey is quicker and grabs Dover’s arm for an irish whip, sending him into the exposed ring post!* The hard metal digs into the small of Dover’s back and he reels in pain, back into Joey who snags his wrist, twisting it into a hold. Dover is up in the air and slammed back onto his neck as Joey lands a modified Fisherman Driver on the champion!
Crowd: OOOOOHHHHH!!!!
It’s Joey’s turn to batter the grounded Dover, repeatedly sending soccer kicks into his skull. The dull sound of bone against flesh carries through the arena in a way that makes most attendees uncomfortable. Joey lifts Dover to his feet, intending to whip him into the exposed ring post again, but Dover has seen this before. He counters with a reversal, sending McCarty into the ropes, McCarty rebounds and Dover SLAMS him into the mat with a teeth-rattling spinebuster!
Crowd: YAYYYYY
Mann: I’m not sure if Dover’s winning the crowd over or if they just enjoy seeing Joey get hurt, either way, Dover is red-hot!
Dover grabs McCarty, and goes into the set up for his Doverleaf! But before he can, a small figure pops up onto the apron.
Woodbridge: WOAH, WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?!
Gigi appears holding a spray bottle and she sprays a fine clear mist right into Dover’s eyes and cackles maniacally!
Mann: What’s this?! It's Gigi! And she’s just assaulted Dover with some sort of liquid!
Dover drops McCarty and grabs at his eyes. Kaitlyn Casey Jones appears from the crowd, holding a sign that says “GAMER GIRL BATHWATER $279.69”, she hops the barricade and grabs a mic, laughing with Gigi. Jones pulls a card out of her pocket and starts reading it.
KCJ: Hey faaaans, if you’re looking to order some of the water that our favorite e-girl actually bathes in, it’s up on the website right now! Guaranteed to have touched Gigi’s skin, go to www.gigigamergirlgush.pizza for more details. Fuck you, Dick!”
Gigi: I wrote that last part.
McCarty clambers to his feet, confused. He notices Dover staggering, and launches himself into the air, connecting with a superman punch to the back of Dover’s skull.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: BERTUZZI! DOVER’S OUT COLD
Woodbridge: I can’t believe this, Dover’s had the title stolen from him!
McCarty scrambles to cover Dover.
1
2
3-NO
Crowd: WOAAAAAH YAYYY
Mann: Dover kicked out!
Woodbridge: How!?!?
McCarty stumbles to the corner in disbelief, and collapses into a seated position onto the bottom turnbuckle, the crowd swells, and McCarty’s confounded expression turns to disbelief and then to anger, he pops to his feet and stomps towards Dover.
Woodbridge: What do either of these men have left in the bag?!
McCarty lifts Dover to his feet, cussing him out as he does. McCarty attempts his Bus Driver Uppercut, but Dover springs to life and catches him, and PLANTS him with a kneeling jawbreaker!
Mann: Cliffs of Dover!
Woodbridge: From the last of his energy!
Mann: Cover!
1
2
3
DING DING DING
Crowd: YAYYYYY!
Mann: Dover is still Independent Champion!
Before Javier can make the announcement, Gigi and KCJ hit the ring and attack Dover, as McCarty rolls out of the ring, jumping him and punching and kicking Dover while he’s down.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOO
Woodbridge: What the hell is this?!
Mann: Gigi still thinks she’s owed a shot at the Independent Championship, she must have made some sort of deal with McCarty to get her match!
Woodbridge: And now that her plan is up in smoke, she’s taking it out on Dover!
Gigi and KCJ continue their assault, KCJ picks up the mic and is about to speak, but before she can, Adam Raised A Cain plays.
Crowd: YAYYYYYYYY
Woodbridge: Someone else with unfinished business, Mark Dutch!
Mark Dutch runs out, Joey McCarty is standing on the ramp, and Dutch shoulder checks him out of the way! Dutch then slides into the ring, and pulls KCJ off of Dover and out of the ring! Gigi scrambles out of the ring away from Dutch.
Mann: Last time we saw these two, they were at eachothers throats, but now Dutch comes to save Dover? What’s going on?
Woodbridge: Looks like there's still lots of unfinished business around these parts.
Mann: That’s enough of this.
Mann grabs a stick mic and attempts to stand on the commentary table, but it wobbles so he instead stands on his chair
Mann: When I brought this company back, it wasn’t for what it was, but what it can become, so I can’t have you three stinking up the joint with old beef, so let’s settle this at the next show. You three for the Independent Title. a brief pause to let that sink in
Crowd: WOOOOOOO
Mann sits back down with a grin on his face.
Mann: I like this “making matches live” thing
Woodbridge: Could stand to work on your crowd work though.
Mann: More WiR action, after this!
Dover, Dutch and Gigi staring eachother down as we fade out to commercial.

Previously unannounced press conference, May 31, 2023.

Cameras are rolling as the owner of Mann Corporation, Shay D. Mann, hair in a perfectly put-together part, adorned in a navy suit and white tie, steps forward to a podium, in front of a WiR backdrop, microphone in hand.
Mann: My name is Shay Duncan Mann. And I am the new owner and proprietor of Wrestling is Reddit. I can assure you that your beloved Allen Paisner will be returning in the future, however, he could not make tonight's show due to some…
Mann smirks.
Mann: Legal complications. But fear not, I’ll be taking his place in the booth tonight.
The crowd erupts with applause and cheers, eager to witness the rebirth of their beloved wrestling promotion, even without Paisner for the evening.
Mann: Tonight, we embark on an exhilarating journey, as WiR takes a bold leap forward. I stand before you not just as the owner, but as a “fan”—a fan who understands the passion and dedication that this community shares for the world of wrestling.
Mann tries to hide a grimace as he proclaims his “fandom”. The crowd anticipates Mann’s next move
Mann: For too long, WiR has been dormant, unable to proceed, some of the talent trapped in Europe with no way home. But this, is no more! Today, we resurrect the spirit of WiR, bringing it back to life with a bang! And what better way to open things up by “Sounding Off"! Presented by the one and only, Dexter Flux
The crowd gives an actual cheer with genuine enthusiasm at the mention of Flux, their sort of god-king.
Mann: "Sound Off" isn't just a name; it's a rallying cry! It's a call for all of you, the WiR faithful, to voice your opinions, to express your passion, and to join us in this incredible journey. This event will be a celebration of everything that makes WiR special—the wrestling, the community, and the shared experiences that bring us all together.
The press conference crowd, whose papering becomes increasingly obvious the more Mann talks, is enthusiastic, as they eagerly hang onto Shay D. Mann's every word, perhaps a little too eagerly.
Mann: Tonight, in this very ring, our talented roster will ignite your imagination, deliver jaw-dropping performances, and create moments that will be etched in your memories forever. Sound Off! will leave you on the edge of your seats, craving for more.
The crowd roars with the excitement of a hair dryer pop.
Mann: But this is not just a show; it's a community. Together, we'll embrace the highs and lows, the victories and defeats. We'll share our opinions, engage in spirited debates, and build something truly remarkable. WiR is your platform—your voice will be heard!
The crowd erupts once again, their cheers echoing through the arena, showcasing their dedication to WiR, or getting paid to be there
Mann: So, my friends, get ready to immerse yourselves in the magic of WiR once again. Open your hearts, open your minds, and let the exhilaration of "Sound Off" wash over you! Tonight, we begin a new era—one that will redefine the landscape of this sport. Welcome back to WiR, my friends. Because Wrestling… is Revived.
With a sly smile, Shay D. Mann raises his microphone high, signaling the start of the show, as things fade to a video of Dexter Flux. His face is slightly out of frame as the camera points to his chest and chin.
Crowd: YEEEEAAAHHHHHH WE LOVE FLUX! WE LOVE FLUX!
Flux: Hey, it’s me, Dexter Flux. Welcome, uh, welcome you know, back to wrestl- Ugh, sorry, something was like, in my throat. Wrestling is Reddit. Welcome back to Wrestling is Reddit. This is House Party.

Knott's Berry Farm, June 1st, 2023.

With that rousing introduction, we now cut back to the day of, with a drone shot of the ring set up at Knott’s Berry Farm, fans on makeshift stands in the berry field, a parking lot and farmhouse off in the far distance, before [off brand royalty free music] begins to play!
Crowd: YEEEAAHHHH
Through the makeshift curtain, Tony “The Milkman” Stevens appears, wearing a pair of off-blue tights with cow white print, a single blue elbow pad on the left side, with a pair of gloved hands- in which, he holds a pristine white umbrella. The Milkman points his umbrella right down the lens of the camera…
Milkman: Good to be back, fellas, and good to see you, Mr. Cameraman! Been a while.
Mann: And here comes the Milkman, and a huge ovation from this crowd! But no Horde jacket with him!
Woodbridge: Or any jacket. But we’re in Anaheim, its hot out
Mann You’re right. But he did prepare for rain.
The Milkman hands off his umbrella to a fan at ringside, before sliding under the bottom rope, and ascending the left hard camera turnbuckle, firing up the crowd, before doing a backflip off the top rope, and into the ring!
Crowd: YEEAAAAHHHHHH
The Camera cuts back to the entranceway, as the music changes, to Skillet
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO
Jericho Styles appears on the ramp, adorned in an Allen Iverson Nuggets Jersey. He blows off a fan’s high five attempt, before sliding into the ring and taking a position opposite of Stevens.
Babaganoush: WiR fans… welcome to Anaheim California, the beautiful Knotts Berry Farm! Welcome! To Sound Off! Presented by Dexter Flux.
Crowd: W-I-R! W-I-R! W-I-R! W-I-R!
Banaganoush: Our opening contest is scheduled for one fall to a finish. Introducing first, to my right… wrestling out San Jose California, weighing in at 217 pounds, Jericho… Styles!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Babaganoush: And his opponent, to my left. Weighing in at 208 pounds…
Crowd begins to rise
Babaganoush: Wrestling out of… Brooklyn, New York! Tony… “The Milkmaaannnnnnn” Stevens!
Crowd erupts into indiscriminate cheers
DING DING DING
The Milkman and Styles circle each other as the bell rings, before Styles takes the initiative with a lock up attempt, which he quickly transitions to a rear waist lock. Milkman thinks on his feet, and grabs the arm of Styles lifting it above his head, and turning to break the lock, before using it to get behind Jericho, who uses his size advantage to overpower Stevens and apply a hammerlock, using the position to turn Stevens around, and take him down to the mat with an arm drag, maintaining control of the arm, which he quickly leverages into a pinfall…
ONE
Milkman gets his free shoulder up!
Crowd: Yay!
Woodbridge: JZ leveraging some technical skill here in the opening moments of this one, but can’t keep the Milkman down!
Mann: Only one count for Styles
Styles refuses to relinquish his grip on the arm, and as Stevens gets up, pushes him back into the corner before he can balance himself. Styles whips Stevens across the ring to the other corner, before charging in and being met with Milkman’s knee! Stevens capitalizes on his newly made opening by delivering a sharp kick to the chest of Styles, before whipping him against the ropes. Styles charges back, and tries to use his momentum to catch Stevens with a hip toss, but can only get Stevens a few inches of height off the ground before the Milkman lands on his feet, lifts and Styles up for an atomic drop, which forces him to let go of Stevens. With his arm now free, The Milkman plants himself, and delivers a [devastating lariat]. With what self-preservation he has left, Styles rolls to the outside, and onto the grass.
Woodbridge: And The Milkman just leveled Styles with that lariat!
Mann: Not something we’re quite used to seeing from Stevens, some hard strikes early in this one that really seemed to throw Styles off his game.
Styles pulls himself up by the barricade, to the direct ire of front-row fans who continue to heckle him. Back in the ring, Stevens throws himself off the far-end ropes, charges in for a dive… before Styles ducks down to avoid being hit. Stevens doesn’t change speed, and instead, throws himself between the ropes for a 6-1-9 that hits nothing but air, launching himself back into the ring, and landing on his feet. After this feat of dexterity, and with Styles on the ground outside, The Milkman takes a bow for his efforts.
Crowd: YEEEAAHHH!!
Four dues in front of the hard cam: WE LOVE MILK! WE LOVE MILK!
At a count of eight, Styles, returns to the ring, and the two wrestlers square off again. Styles gets the better of the two on the lockup, delivering a stomp to Stevens’ foot, before kneeling him in the stomach. Styles lifts Stevens up for a suplex, but Stevens shifts his weight and lands on his feet behind him! The Milkman attempts a German suplex, but Styles throws a firm elbow to the jaw and repositions behind Stevens for a German attempt of his own. Stevens gives Styles a receipt with a firm, calcium-hardened elbow of his own, before bounding over to the ropes, and attempting a lionsault to a standing Styles! Styles catches him, but Stevens slips free, pushes Styles into the corner, and he takes a chest-first bump. Stevens harnesses his agility once more to get into poison-rana position on the shoulders of Styles, but Styles uses one arm to flip Milkman off balance and send him tumbling to the ground. Quickly, Stevens attempts to transition to a sunset flip but has to abandon ship as Styles tries to poke him in the eyes, jamming his finger into the canvas as a result. Stevens uses the moment to leap up to Bret’s rope, turn around, and deliver a dropkick to Styles! Stevens then rolls to the apron, and pumps up the crowd with a wave of his hand…
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHH WOOO!!
Guy already 4 cheap beers in: I hate this Styles guy!
…and delivers another springboard dropkick, this one from the top rope! Stevens flexes for the crowd, before rolling into a cover…
ONE
TWO
Styles gets a shoulder up!
Mann: Does The Milkman seem a bit different to you, Woodbridge?
Woodbridge: Milkman definitely wants to show off early, he looks like he hasn’t lost a step!
Mann: Maybe even gained one, and it almost feels like he’s being a bit disrespectful of his opponent, don’t you think?
Woodbridge: And what are you insinuating?
Mann: Well, maybe performing in front of a WiR crowd again has him a little more amped than usual! Trying a lot of those high-risk maneuvers early- we’re only a few minutes into this one, folks!
After the Kickout, Stevens signals to the cheering crowd, runs off the ropes, and attempts a wheelbarrow bulldog, but as he pushes himself up, Styles swivels his hips, and Stevens face plants into the mat.
Mann: And Stevens’ showing off cost him there!
Styles knees Stevens in the stomach, before putting his head between the legs, and sets up for the Styles Clash! He can’t lock in Milkman’s arms, and Stevens uses them to push off the mat to sit up above Jericho! Stevens tries throwing a punch at Jericho’s head, but he pivots his plan, and adjusts to deliver a powerbomb! As he releases, Stevens adjusts his body and manages to mitigate some of the damage by landing awkwardly on the back foot, stumbling back into the ropes.
Mann: If Styles hit that, it could have spelled an early end for Stevens!
Stevens pulls himself back to his feet using the ropes and charges back in with a clothesline attempt, but Styles sees it coming, grabs the arm and uses it to shift the momentum, and lifts Stevens for a tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker!
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Mann: And Styles seems to be in control here.
Woodbridge: Stevens took some early momentum, but Styles has had a counter for everything Stevens has thrown at him.
Styles pulls Stevens up to his feet by the hair, before casually flipping one of Stevens’ arms over his shoulder for a uranage position before holding his arms out to the crowd!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Styles smirks at the boos incoming, and throws Stevens with a t-bone suplex. Once Stevens is planted, Styles stomps the stomach to force him to sit up, before stretching the arms behind for a surfboard stretch!
Styles: I’m a technical wrestler now, assholes!
Mann: Styles slowing things down here, grounding the Milkman
Woodbridge: Not a bad strategy, we saw how The Milkman was in control with a faster pace!
One guy holding up a sign with Goku: WE-LOVE-GOKU! WE-LOVE-GOKU!
Everyone else in the crowd is deafeningly silent
Styles: AND WHAT WOULD GOKU DO HERE, STUPID IDIOT?
Styles breaks his hold and approaches the hard camera ropes to yell at the fan more
Styles: Dragon Ball is overrated trash!
Styles kicks Stevens back to the mat
Styles That one was for you, fucking weeb!
As Stevens once again rises to his feet, Styles punches him and he falls back to the mat, just for Styles to pick him back up, and line up against the ropes, for an irish whip. As Stevens returns to sender, Styles throws him straight up in the air… and football punts him in the chest on the way down!
Styles: Hey weeb guy! This one’s for you too! I saw a Japanese dude do it once!
Styles lifts Stevens up, sets him up with the arms behind the back… and delivers a slow, sloppy [tiger driver], before placing a single foot on the chest, and flexing
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHH
Woodbridge: Well, he didn’t quite get all of it.
Styles takes time to put Stevens in a Camel Clutch.
Mann: And it seems Styles didn’t want to get left out of showing off!
Woodbridge: Well, he certainly nailed Milkman with that kick, but the Tiger Driver left a lot to be desired.
Mann: Styles seems to have control of this match when it’s slowed down, wearing Stevens with this technical wrestling prowess.
Woodbridge, reaching under the desk for a paper bag: Everyone wants to be a hero in front of the first crowd in two years
Styles releases Stevens from the hold by battering him in the back of the head with a forearm, picking him up by the scruff, and bouncing him off the ropes for an Irish whip and hitting him with the kitchen sink! But Stevens wastes no motion, and grabs the leg, turning Styles over for a rollup!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Kickout!
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Woodbridge: He almost got him with that rollup! From out of nowhere!
The Milkman tries to capitalize, but Styles returns the favor with a boot to the stomach.
Styles: I’ll show you to make a damn fool out of me!
Styles hoists Stevens up for a vertical suplex, before taking two steps and chucking him across the top rope! The Milkman bounces off the top rope, makes a deflating noise as the air is forced out of his lungs, and flops down to the floor outside!
Mann: Styles with some kind of inverted lawn-dart maneuver! Woodbridge, do you know what that’s called?
Woodbridge: Nope.
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Styles: Come on, milk boy, you have anything else for me?
Stevens crawls back into the ring, holding onto his ribs, before Styles once again kicks him in the stomach, and applies a chin lock in the ring.
Mann: Styles has found his target! If Stevens can’t breathe, he can’t fight!
Woodbridge: The young Styles showing some veteran instinct here, Mann, if Stevens has the wind knocked out of him, he can’t perform those high-flying moves he was nailing Styles with earlier!
Styles turns to the side, and locks Milkman in a body scissors, using his legs to apply pressure to the ribcage. Stevens tries to use his free legs to push both men closer to the ropes, but can only move them a few feet. Stevens smacks the mat with his free hand, and a guy in the crowd does it to the barricade. Stevens smacks the mat again, and a few more fans join in.
Crowd Smacking the barricade
Stevens pushes towards the ropes again, making more progress. Styles sees this, and releases the hold, grabbing Stevens by the hair with one hand, tights in the other, and pulling him up to his feet.
Styles: You want the ropes so bad, here, have them!
Styles runs over to the ropes with the Milkman, and hurls him between the middle and top rope, dumping him to the outside where he lands with a noticeable thud. Styles follows him to the outside, taking his time to savor the boos of the crowd, before delivering a knee to a rising Milkman, and lifting him for a vertical suplex on the grass! Styles rolls into the ring… and back out again to break the count. Despite the present beating, Stevens once again pulls himself to his feet.
Crowd: YEAAAH
And Styles knees him in the ribs.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO
Styles rolls Stevens back into the ring before taking a moment to confront the drunk fan who jeered him earlier. After his verbal exchange, Styles delivers a scoop slam to Stevens to keep him down, and the pressure on the body, before sliding into a cover.
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Mann: Forcing Stevens to exert more energy there on the kick out, after continuing his assault on the ribs. A very solid strategy by Styles in this one.
Styles picks The Milkman up once more and prepares another vertical suplex, but the Milkman slips free! Stevens lands behind Styles, hooks his arms, and goes for a crucifix pin!
ONE
TWO
THRE-
Styles barely escapes! The Milkman wastes no motion as Styles rises back to his feet, bouncing off the hard camera ropes, and forcing Styles to drop back to the mat to avoid a strike. Stevens bounces off the opposite end, and Styles barely avoids him once more, this time with a slide-step that sees him almost lose his balance. Styles tries to save his momentum by charging at Stevens as he bounces off the ropes a third time, but Stevens pulls down the top rope, sending Styles to the apron! Stevens kicks Styles in the knee, before going through the middle rope to meet Styles on the apron. Styles tries to sweep out the leg of the Milkman, knocking himself down to one knee on the attempt, but Stevens jumps over it, and catches Styles with a Calcium Kiss Superkick that sends Styles to the grass below!
Crowd: YEAAAHH
With his foe grounded, Stevens looks to the crowd, positions himself in the middle of the ring, and before Styles can discover where he is, Stevens takes flight, springboarding off the middle rope with an Asai Milksault! On the landing, Stevens’ left knee awkwardly hits the uneven yard, and he visibly grimaces before falling backward.
Mann: And both men are down after that! Stevens with a ferocious comeback attempt, but he may have hurt himself!
Woodbridge: Someone hasn’t been taking care of their lawn.
Stevens hears the air exit the crowd, and pulls himself up, giving them a reassuring thumbs up, before using the leg he landed on to kick Styles in the back of his knee, before throwing him back into the ring. Stevens puts one leg into the ring through the middle rope, before looking into the crowd- and deciding to ascend the turnbuckles instead! The Milkman leaps, and delivers a diving hurricanrana! As Styles tries to roll to the ropes, Stevens uses their good leg to stomp on his chest, before pulling him back to the middle of the ring, and hitting a Standing Milksault! Stevens maintains the cover!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Styles gets a shoulder up!
Woodbridge: And Stevens throwing everything into this assault on Styles, but it still wasn’t enough to put him down!
Crowd: Let’s Go Milk-man! Let’s Go Milk-man!
Stevens picks Styles up, and lifts him onto his shoulders…
Woodbridge: He’s going for the Milky Way!
…But the injured knee can’t hold up the weight, and both men crash to the mat.
Entrance Music begins to play as a small, skinny wrestler in a leather jacket waltzes towards the two downed competitors
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: And that’s Raven Van Loupe! Van Loupe is here at Sound Off!
Woodbridge: These two formed an alliance last time we saw them! But will it hold after the time off?
Van Loupe enters the ring, despite the protests of WiR official Tai Ni Wong, and glances at the pair as both try to pull themselves up, Stevens using the ropes, Styles on his own. Van Loupe looks back and forth… before kicking Stevens in the injured knee!
DING DING DING
Babaganoush: And here is your winner…
Van Loupe helps Styles to his feet, and the pair begin to lay the boots on Stevens.
Babaganoush: By disqualification as a result of interference, and striking a WiR official…
Styles takes the knee of the downed Milkman, and lifts it above his head, before thrashing it against the canvas.
Babaganoush: At a time of…
Van Loupe has Styles lift Stevens by the hair once more, before she runs to the ropes, jumps off the second rope, and Styles pushes The Milkman into the cutter.
Babaganoush: Ten minutes and twenty-three seconds…
Styles and Van Loupe stand over Stevens, and Styles prepares to deliver the finishing blow as he signals to the crowd that he is looking for the Styles Clash!
Banaganoush: Tony “The Milkmannnnnn” Stevens!!!!!!
Van Loupe: Are you done?
Van Loupe gives Styles a thumbs up, but as he goes to finish off Stevens, a mighty howl plays over the speakers as a short, scruffy man runs to the ring.
Woodbridge: That’s The Werewolf!
Mann Johnny, A Werewolf, is here! And he’s rushing to the ring!
Styles lets Stevens flop back down to the mat, holding his knee, and turns to face the incoming Werewolf as he slides under the ropes and into the ring. Styles steps before Vna Loupe to intercept, but the fresh Werewolf knocks him off his feet with The Pounce. The Werewolf comes face to face with Van Loupe in the center of the ring!
Crowd: AWOOOOOO
Mann: Pandemonium has broken out in the first match of Sound Off! And the fans are loving it!
Crowd: WE LOVE WERE-WOLF! clap clap clap clap clap WE LOVE WERE-WOLF!
Woodbridge: The Pack Wolf and the Werewolf facing off in the center of the ring!
Mann: And these two have unfinished business! The Lifeblood exists because they took issue with being left behind for signings like Werewolf!
Johnny feints left, before throwing a right jab! The Werewolf unleashes Pack Tactics on Van Loupe! As he stops throwing punches, and signals for another pounce, Styles kips up, and levels the werewolf with a lariat!
Crowd: BOOOOO
Van Loupe and Styles begin to wear down the Werewolf, delivering blow after blow to Johnny as the boos rain from the crowd. Van Loupe delivers a stomp to the knee of The Milkman to keep him down before they and Jericho set up to finish off styles…
When an Italian Flag appears on the video screen, and an absolute guido of an Italian-American, hair dripping with greaseslowly walks out from behind the curtain, wearing a Shohei Ohtani jersey!
…A Shohei Ohtani… New York Mets jersey.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: That’s The Apex! Arturo Stiglione! Stiglione is in the yard!
Stiglione slowly scopes out the scene on his way to the ring, seeing the downed Milkman on the left of the ring, the downed werewolf on the right, and the standing Lifeblood members in the middle. He slowly ascends the stairs and stands across from Van Loupe and Styles.
Wodbridge: And The Apex, not a fan of Johnny, a very terse relationship between these two.
Apex: Hell ova job ya done hea’
Van Loupe: If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stand aside, and maybe we won’t hurt you.
Apex: Dont’cha mind me, just monitoring the situation.
Styles pulls Van Loupe aside, and the two have an impromptu conference, before nodding along, and continuing their attack on Werewolf.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
With The Lifeblood’s backs turned Styles looks down at his fist. He looks down at the blue and orange he’s adorned in, and loosens up his arm. He points to the back of Styles, who senses the crowd rising, and turns around… to be met with a spinning backfist!!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHH
Mann: Styles has made his choice! And he chooses to stand against The Lifeblood!
Van Loupe hears his body hit the canvas, and turns around, to be met with the sight of a downed Styles! The Apex takes off his Mets jersey… to reveal an Angels jersey! The Werewolf is back on his feet, and he and the Apex come face to face! Van Loupe rises back up at the wrong time, as the two share a nod, and deliver a double clothesline! Seeing the situation turn against him, Styles slinks to the outside, and grabs a chair from under the ring, before sneaking back in behind the Werewolf and Apex, who have turned to the hard camera. Styles raises the chair to strike…
...And gets blasted by a Calcium Kiss from The Milkman!
Crowd: WOOOOOO
The three faces are all back on their feet in the middle of the ring, standing tall! As the three begin to celebrate…
“It’s a Psychobilly Freakout!
Mann: That’s the music of Mason Saunders! But where is he?
Saunders’ music plays, but the entranceway remains empty.
Woodbridge: He’s behind us, Mann! He just jumped the barricade!
Mann: But he’s outnumbered, Woodbridge, both his allies are down!
Undeterred by the numbers disadvantage, Saunders slides behind the faces, and as they recognize the trap, Saunders is already in the ring! The Werewolf approaches first and throws a jab that almost seems to bounce off the chin of Saunders. Saunders simply stares, and when the Werewolf tries a second one, Saunders swipes it aside with a tree trunk arm, before launching into action and dropping the Werewolf with a right hook, which catches the Werewolf cleanly on the jaw, who slumps backward onto the canvas. The Milkman tries to charge to his aid, but Saunders delivers a pump kick to put him back on the canvas. The Apex tries to make a move while Saunders’ back is turned facing Stevens, but he fails to do any damage and is swiftly thrown aside. Saunders drops the Milkman again, before turning around to face Apex… who turns around, and flees the ring as fast as possible!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: And Stiglione, getting out of dodge as soon as he can!
Woodbridge: And turning tail and running, Stiglione is out of here!
As Stiglione flees up the entranceway, the rest of the Lifeblood begins to pick themselves up. Saunders puts the Werewolf pack down on the canvas with a scoop powerslam, and boots him out of the ring. The Lifeblood stand united, and face the hard camera, Stiglione and Werewolf removed, and the Milkman down on the opposite end of the ring. JZ ascends to the second rope of the left turnbuckle, Van Loupe to the right, and the three all pose for the hard camera!
Mann: And the Lifeblood, although not victorious in the match, is victorious here in the aftermath!
Woodbridge: But wait, The Milkman is trying to get back up!
Mann: Stevens of course, left for the picking, as other members of The Horde are all the way on the other side of the Farm preparing for their match later!
Stevens struggles to pull himself up to his feet, knee buckling under him. Saunders perks up, and stops his pose. Stevens staggers to his feet, and before he can get very far, Saunders turns, and with blinding speed nails Stevens with a disgusting lariat that nearly takes his head off!
Woodbridge: And the Milk has gone spoiled.
The Lifeblood circle the downed Milkman like vultures, and Van Loupe drops to one knee, and picks up the Milkman’s head by the hair! JZ gets down as well, and the two strike a pose, with Milkman’s body as the centerpiece!
Mann: A statement made, by the Lifeblood
Woodbridge: To me, Mann, it looks like the statement was made by Saunders, Van Loupe, and JZ just picked up the scraps!
Van Loupe, holding up Milkman to the Camera victoriously: Take a look, WiR, this is the future! We are the Lifeblood of this company, and don’t forget that!
The camera pans out to JZ and Van Loupe celebrating over Milkman’s body, while Saunders stares from behind, before fading out to a commercial break.
Javier: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, with a 20 minute time limit. Your referee for this contest is Mia So Hung. Introducing first, from Montreal, Canada, weighing in at 119 pounds...... GIGI♥ V!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A significantly smaller but incredibly loud section of the crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Music begins to swell in the background, and the crowd continues their jeering (and occasional unbridled simping) until Gigi steps out, running her hands down her body to the lewd Ashnikko verse.
Mann: Gigi here, surrounded by her legion of fans, who are then surrounded by a legion of people who absolutely despise her. As it should be here in WiR.
Gigi saunters to the ring, taking vaguely suggestive selfies with her ravenous fans on the front row, and generally seeming uncaring about the forthcoming match.
Woodbridge: And given her successes recently, it’s gonna be easy to overlook a competitor like Li Xiao, which very easily could prove fatal.
Gigi steps into the ring, as Javier starts his announcing again.
Javier: And her opponent, from Hong Kong, weighing in at 105 pounds... LI XIAO!!!
A unfamiliar metal song blasts out from the speakers, and a rather familiar hyperactive martial artist bounces out from behind the curtain!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Xiao charges down the ramp with a head of steam, hyped and ready to fight.
Mann: Xiao has some of the most devastating offense in this company, and if she’s able to keep momentum, it could very well shatter Gigi’s plans of making a statement here!
Woodbridge: Yeah, sure, but Xiao’s a tag team specialist first and foremost. She comes in to deal damage and then gets out before she takes too much abuse.
Xiao hops into the ring, and the referee pats both competitors down, before gesturing for the bell.
DING DING DING
In an interesting turn of events, Gigi and Li Xiao start off with a collar-and-elbow tie up in the center of the ring. Gigi takes quick advantage of her height and weight advantage to gain leverage and force Li Xiao backwards into the ropes.
Mann: Gigi starting off with the basics here, knowing Li Xiao is nothing if not an incredibly explosive fighter.
Woodbridge: That’s right, Xiao wrestles like my grandpa used to make moonshine, god rest his soul!
Gigi sets herself, and when Xiao tries to push off the ropes and get Gigi off, Gigi directs the momentum into a modified biel, throwing Li Xiao across the ring! Gigi takes a moment to smirk and pose for the fans - a mistake, as Xiao rolls through the throw and hits the ropes on the opposite side of the ring!
Mann: Incredible strength from Gigi!
Gigi turns around into a sprinting palm strike from Xiao, staggering backwards into the ropes yet again, and Xiao follows up with a big kick to the gut! Gigi’s doubled over, and Xiao drops her with a DDT!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s fired up, and she’s quite possibly looking to end this match before it even gets started!
Xiao with the cover!
1!
2!
Gigi kicks out right at 2, and rolls up, obviously shocked and dazed. The crowd in attendance is split, with the wrestling fans excited to see Gigi on the ropes, and the Gigi fans absolutely in shambles. Xiao is up quickly, as Gigi staggers to her feet - Xiao hits the ropes, springboards, and catches Gigi with a beautiful headscissors!
Crowd: WOOOOOO!
Gigi rolls through, runs the ropes, and comes back with a head of steam! Xiao dodges a clothesline attempt, shoves Gigi to the other rope, and gets ready for the comeback - Gigi catches the ropes! Xiao charges in to press the advantage, and eats an officially branded Gigi♥ boot to the face! Xiao is absolutely rocked, staggering backwards, and this time Gigi takes the initiative and absolutely levels Xiao with a clothesline! Xiao spirals to the mat, and Gigi blows a kiss to the fans in attendance!
Gigi: I am your future champion, and this is the match I’m booked in?
Gigi catches Xiao with a boot to the back of the head! Xiao rolls over, and Gigi drops a knee onto her throat, before going for the cover!
1!
2!
Xiao muscles out of the pin, clutching her head!
Woodbridge: We got two high fliers here, these women make a livin’ out of dodging attacks. Anything that lands here is going to be devastating!
Mann: And right now, it looks like Xiao is barely conscious after those blows to the head!
Gigi gets up, and winks at her fans in attendance and watching live throughout the world.
Crowd: BOOOOOO!/YAAAAAAAAAAY!
Gigi saunters over to Xiao, and plays up the boot she’s about to give - SMALL PACKAGE! SMALL PACKAGE!
1!
2!
Gigi kicks out, and her mood instantly changes. Xiao is staggering to her feet, and takes a full on slap to the face!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH!
Mann: What a slap from Gigi, obviously assisted by her official Gigi♥ gloves, sponsored by Fairtex!
Woodbridge: Gigi’s pissed now, and you could hear that slap all the way in Los Angeles!
Xiao clutches her face, and Gigi follows up with a huge kick to the gut! Xiao falls to one knee, and Gigi finishes the trifecta with a roundhouse to the head!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!
Xiao collapses to the mat!
Mann: And Xiao’s down! What a kick!
Woodbridge: That kick nearly took her head off, Shay! I don’t know if she’s even conscious down there!
Gigi’s prepared, and is looking to finish this, climbing to the top rope! Xiao is flat on her back on the mat, and Gigi takes the leap, flipping forwards with a swanton! Xiao is still conscious, though, and rolls away in the nick of time, leaving Gigi high and dry!
Crowd: YAAAAAAY! KUNG PAO! KUNG PAO! KUNG PAO!
Mann: I... feel like that’s problematic, somehow.
Woodbridge: Nah, ‘sfine, don’t worry about it.
Xiao grabs for the ropes, pulling herself to her feet, but is obviously still dazed from the kick!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s hurt!
Mann: You see this a lot in Li Xiao singles matches - she’s got an incredible offense, but she’s fragile at best in-ring!
Gigi is holding her back, and glares at Xiao in frustration!
Gigi: You were supposed to stay down! it was going on Tiktok!
Gigi charges forward, ready to avenge her mistake, but takes a knee to the gut! Gigi staggers for a second, only to get a chop to the neck! She’s reeling! Xiao with a forearm! Xiao with a elbow strike!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHH!
Xiao takes a step backwards, and lets out a KIAI, before charging forward with a roundhouse - NO! SCHOOLBOY FROM GIGI!
1!
2!
Xiao kicks out at 2.6, rolls to her feet, and is immediately back on the offensive, catching Gigi with a kick to the gut!
Mann: Xiao was going for her trademark flurry of blows, and that roundhouse could very well have ended this match!
Woodbridge: Sure, but it doesn’t look like Gigi’s in a better spot right now anyway!
Xiao measures, as Gigi slowly gets back to her feet, and steps through the ropes, stalking her opponent! Gigi’s up, and Xiao leaps onto the ropes, going for a springboard - GIGI HOOKS HER LEG!
Crowd: BOOOOO!
Xiao loses her footing, and falls neck-first onto the ropes, before collapsing to the outside of the ring!
Mann: Gigi with a lightning-quick reversal!
Woodbridge: Xiao might be seriously hurt down there!
Gigi regains some of her confidence, and gives the crowd an innocent smile, completely ignoring the competitor she might have seriously injured. As the count reaches six, Gigi finally springs into action, rolling out of the ring, and grabbing Xiao by the hair!
Gigi: That’s what you get for ruining my moment!
Gigi pulls Xiao up to her feet, and throws her into the ring. Gigi rolls in as Xiao fights to one knee, then to her feet! Gigi smirks, and stands in front of Xiao, posing for the crowd -
WHAM!
Xiao with a JKD backfist!
Woodbridge: River City Knockout! That’s Biff’s move! What a moment to strike!
Gigi is staggered - falls to one knee - then gets back up, just in time to eat THE CRANE KICK
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Woodbridge: CRANE KICK! CRANE KICK!
Gigi is down! Xiao is staggering after landing the crane kick, and collapses to a knee herself! Xiao takes a moment to collect herself, then throws herself into the cover, hooking both legs!
1!
2!
3!
NO!
Mia hits the three count, and Xiao rolls off, sure she’s won the match, but Gigi’s right hand is on the ropes!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mia explains to Xiao, who is obviously frustrated, but nods. She takes a moment to kick Gigi’s wrist, knocking her hand off the ropes, before climbing to the top rope! Xiao steels herself - leaps - corkscrews through the air!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s Wing!
Gigi gets her knees up! Xiao lands back-first onto Gigi’s knees! Xiao bounces halfway across the ring, clutching her back and neck, and lands on her chest!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mann: And Gigi has just enough in the tank to get that counter in!
Gigi, with what seems like massive effort, rolls over, before crawling towards Xiao, who seems to be completely out of it. She crawls over Xiao, with a knowing smirk, before hooking her legs around Xiao’s head!
Mann: Gigi looking for the Paywall, this modified figure four choke!
Woodbridge: And half the audience is looking at something else right now.
Gigi torques Xiao’s already injured neck back, cutting off all airflow! Xiao struggles for a moment, but is trapped in the center of the ring! She crawls forward, but Gigi leans back, torquing her neck even further! Xiao swings back with an elbow, then another, but her arm is caught by Gigi’s free hand! After a moment of struggling, Xiao finally relents, and taps in the center of the ring!
DING DING DING!
Javier: And your winner, at a time of 7:53.... GIGI!
Gigi rolls out of the ring, obviously the worse for wear, clutching her neck after the crane kick to the skull!
Mann: And Gigi with a hard-fought win after these two threw everything at each other in a absolutely brutal short match!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s not a singles competitor on her own, but she showed just how brutal her brand of offense is when it needs to be - if Biff has the same resilience he used to have the tag division might need to be on notice!

It was dawn when the iron doors beneath the Red Keep, in the torchlit dungeons far below the main castle, when one of the doors that led to the exit tunnels that emptied into Blackwater Bay was shoved open. A Weequay guard fell forward, his throat slit, his corpse slamming down on the cobblestones. Jon Snow loomed in the doorway behind the dead alien, his sword slick with the guard's blood. He wiped his brow and said, "Thank you" to the dead man before kicking him aside and dragging himself forward.
Jon had spent the night slowly making his way toward the Red Keep, creeping among alleyways and the ruins of houses to avoid patrols of guards or droids. He had eventually managed to ambush a guard and take the Weequay hostage. Jabba's men, as it turned out, were cowardly when faced with someone stronger than they and the guard had been all too eager to lead Jon to a secret entrance into the dungeons to save his own hide. It hadn't saved him, of course, and Jon had taken a grim sense of pleasure in slitting the man's throat when he thought himself safe.
Jon grabbed a torch from the wall and removed it. With Longclaw in one hand and the torch in his other, he stumbled forward, his pace slow, every muscle in his body demanding he lie down and rest, collapse into the blissful state of unconsciousness. Jon ignored them and pushed them aside, forcing himself forward. Daenerys needed him. And he wouldn't give up, not for anything, until he had wrested her from the grasp of Jabba the Hutt.
He walked for sometime, nothing to join him in this march toward the slimy overlord of King's Landing but his own footsteps. However, coming to a passage he suddenly heard whispering around the corner. Halting and keeping to the shadows, his black leather of the Night's Watch keeping him well hidden, Jon peeked around the corner and looked to the source of the noises.
To his surprise, he saw someone he didn't think was still among the ranks of the living. Cersei Lannister was on her feet inside a cell, the door ajar. Her once proud dressed had been reduced to tatters, exposed her bosom and bountiful flesh beneath. Her hair was a wild mess and her features curled in disgust as a creature loomed over her. Jon narrowed his eyes, beholding the hideous form of Bib Fortuna, the loathsome Twi'Lek looming over Cerseri. One of his dexterous clawed hands was stroking her face, lithe fingers dancing through the locks of her golden hair. His pants were lowered, his stiff erection shoved inches from her pretty face, a lecherous grin upon his fanged features.
"Jabba may get to pamper his lusts with the four beauties upstairs," Fortuna hissed at Cersei. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and jerked it backwards, Cersei giving a cry as her lips were forced to meet the tip of Fortuna's quivering member. "But I have you all to myself."
"How lucky." Cersei spitefully hissed through clenched teeth, gazing upon his cock with a truly disgusted expression. Jon grimaced, his gloved hand curling around Longclaw's hilt. As much as he'd like to leave the Lannister bitch to her fate, there was no honor in letting Cersei be raped by this monster. No one deserved that, not even her.
So Jon Snow burst from the shadows and gave a whistle. Fortuna spun around with a snake-like hiss, releasing Cersei. His eyes widened and he fumbled for his communicator, a cry of "Guards-" slipping from his lips.
Which was soon silenced as Jon buried his blade in the foul Majordomo's heart. The momentum carried Bib Fortuna backwards, blood spewing from his fetid lips, his red eyes wide with horror. His hands scrambled at Jon's chest, clutching desperately to hold onto life. Fortuna gurgled and sputtered before Jon ripped Longclaw free in a spray of alien blood. Fortuna's corpse slid down the bars and crumbled to the floor, the Majordomo dying a most undignified death.
Cersei instantly scrambled to her feet, clutching the remains of her dress to cover her nakedness. She looked at Jon, her rescuer, to Fortuna's corpse with surprise. A myriad of emotions went through the woman's face before she finally locked eyes with Jon and snarked,
"Well, well. I never thought I'd be saved by a bastard. Much less a Stark."
"And I never thought I'd be rescuing a incestuous bitch but here I am," Jon snarked right back, turning to face his longtime foe. "You're welcome, by the way."
"What, you want a thank you?" Cersei chuckled, her lips twisting in a humorless smile. "Please. I haven't lost ALL my dignity. I didn't think you were still alive."
"I feel dead and sometimes I wish I was," Jon grimaced, hand clutching his sword tightly. "But Daenerys is up there. She needs me. I won't fail her as I did my men."
"Oh yes...you're the serious one, duty bound and all that," Cersei clicked her tongue. "I guess sticking your cock in that dragon whore really-"
Jon raised his blade warningly, its tip right against her throat. A dark expression was upon his features as he said, icy calm but with a terrifying tone, "I've had a long day. I've thought about killing you many times over these years, you and your entire fucking family. Don't push your luck. I promise I won't hesitate if any more foul words slip from these serpentine lips of yours."
Cersei eyed the sword and swallowed. She could see Jon wasn't kidding. "Perhaps," She said, managing to speak as Longclaw continued to press against her throat. "I can help you. You know, a reward for saving me from that foul pervert."
"I only want one thing." Jon moved closer and his teeth clenched. When he spoke, it was with the fierceness that the North was known for and even Cersei cowered before the wild fury of Jon Snow.
"Where is Jabba the Hutt?"
***********************************************************************************
Jabba normally slept very late until at least noon, sleeping off nights of debauchery and partying. But this day he rose early, perhaps emboldened by his orgy with his four slavegirls last night. And so, in the early hours of the morning, Jabba guided his dais back to the throne room, taking his usual spot before the Iron Throne. He was absolutely giddy, his ego and pride soaring to new heights. Enough time had been spent in King's Landing. It was time to expand his empire even further, beyond the boundaries of Westeros! A Hutt's greed was never satisfied. Jabba needed more. More lands to grind under his slimy heel. More riches to wrest from the hands of kings and queens. More women to defile...although he didn't think any would match his four personal pets. But his harem needed more bodies, not just for himself, but his men who shared in a fraction of lusts and perverted personality. More!
His slavegirls were lying before him in various positions. Within the curl of Jabba's mighty tail were Arya and Margaery. Margaery lay against the side of his girthy appendage, deliberately grinding her perky ass into the slimy folds of the the huge thing that surrounded her. Arya, meanwhile, was lying on Margaery, her head cushioned against Margaery's impressive bosom. Margaery was petting Arya's short black hair, running her dexterous, soft fingers through it as she looked at the throne room before her. Arya was stone faced but seemed to be grudgingly enjoying the attention and made so room to escape Margaery's grasp, their leashes intertwining in a pile as they flowed down the sides of their bodies into the nest of pillows cast here and there across Jabba's dais.
Meanwhile, Sansa and Daenerys were standing on either side of Jabba, their skirts fluttering in the small morning breeze passing through the open window in the throne room. Jabba cooed as he admired their luscious backsides and round, firm asses barely hidden by their fluttering, long slavegirl skirts. Sansa seemed more composed than Daenerys, the Stark sister staring ahead with a stoic expression, occasionally betraying her humiliation at Jabba's eyes on her with nervous licks of her ruby red lips. Daenerys, meanwhile, glowered openly at Jabba, throwing glares over her bare shoulder at the Hutt repeatedly. Jabba just laughed, Daenerys's defiance amusing him and arousing him. His tail flopped and wiggled next to Sansa's booted feet, as he lightly played with the chains of Sansa and Daenerys clutched in his fat fist.
"Summon Fortuna!" Jabba boomed, slamming his free fist onto the side of his throne, rattling the bowl full of frogs. Juices of water escaped the aquarium and splattered on Daenerys, the last Targaryan giving a startled squeal of disgust. "It is time to plot my battle strategy for CONQUERING the rest of this planet, ho ho ho! Soon, the Empire of Jabba shall stretch not to one measly continent but the entire world. All shall worship me, all shall serve MY desires."
"Yes, my lord," A Goldcloak bowed to Jabba before turning to find Fortuna in the room he had taken over within the depths of the palace. Jabba purred in pleasure, thrusting his free hand into the bowl and snatching up a screaming frog.
Margaery's eyes glistened with intelligence. She continued to pet Arya's hair non-chalantly but her eyes studied the throne room carefully. At this early hour, there were limited guards, only a smittering handful around. A few alien men armed with vibro pikes and blasters, along with two or three Goldcloaks. The Goldcloaks Margaery wasn't worried about. If this plan worked, then they might throw aside their forced loyalty to Jabba and help them. As for the others...well, with luck either the Goldcloaks or Arya would deal with them.
The plan, as she had come up with, had come from careful observations during her time of the palace, as well as information gained from Jabba's men she had quite literally milked for information. Jabba was a Hutt and although he looked like the very picture of a slovenly, fat bastard, in truth his hide was packed with layers of muscle. His hide was resistant to blaster fire and he could even shrug off injuries that might fell a normal human. The only past his layers of defenses was his neck. For Jabba to die, he'd need to be strangled to death. There were other options of course but none Margaery had access to. And of course, she couldn't exactly strangle Jabba with her bare hands.
But Jabba had leashed them all, with iron chains for Sansa and Daenerys and long fibro leashes for her and Arya. If they worked together...all four of them could wrap their chains around Jabba's foul neck and strangle their master to death.
A bold plan, mad perhaps, perhaps doomed to failure. But it was the best one Margaery's clever mind had come up with. The other girls had agreed, each desiring freedom from their abusive lord. If they distracted him and caught him unawares...this just might work.
Margaery whispered in Arya's ear, pulling locks of black hair aside as her dainty lips whispered in the Stark girl's ear: "Let's begin." Arya grimaced, Margaery understanding why. None of them were particularly ready for what this entailed. But it was necessary. Jabba was ruled by lust, like any other man. So...to distract him, they needed to seduce him. To pretend to willingly give into his foul charms. To appreciate him, as he had so often taunted them with.
But before Margaery or Arya could signal the other two girls, the door to the hall was suddenly kicked open. Guards jolted and raised their blasters, Goldcloaks forming ranks and drawing swords. Jabba made a blubbery noise of confusion, his tail slapping against Sansa's leg as he looked to the front of the throne room, eyes narrowing.
Sansa was the first to react, a gasp escaping her lips. Daenerys next. Both of them exclaimed, in absolute delight at the same time, "Jon!" Arya instantly burst free from Margaery's bosom and crawled forward, a grin splitting her lips as she went to the edge of the dais. Margaery raised a quizzical eyebrow before pushing aside her and Arya's leashes, leaning over Jabba's huge tail to peek at what lay ahead.
Jon Snow stood in the threshold, Longclaw at his side, Bib Fortuna's blood splattering upon the cobblestones. His eyes went to each of the girls and he felt his heart swell with fury. He gazed upon Sansa, his lovely sister, so innocent and sweet, the pride of the Stark family. Now dressed in a horribly skimpy outfit even a Flea Bottom wench would sniff at her, a chain around her neck like some dog! She smiled at him but he could see the pain in her eyes and he shuddered to think about what Jabba had done to her.
And then there was Arya, someone wearing even less than Sansa, garbed in a fishnet outfit that hugged her athletic curves and long legs while leaving nothing to the imagination. She also grinned at Jon, genuine happiness on her expression even through the black makeup that decorated her face. Jon's fury grew as he could see she was leashed too.
And the apex of his rage. Daenerys, his love, the proud conqueror, dressed in a similar skimpy garb to Sansa's and also chained at the neck. Daenerys smirked at him and put her hands on her wide hips. Jon swallowed slightly, trying not to be distracted with how her long white skirts fluttered between her curvy thighs or how well framed her bosom looked stuffed into that metal bra. He could see a glimpse of a final grin, decorate in green straps with long hair, also leashed but he didn't know her and paid her no mind.
"Jon Snow," Daenerys said with a chuckle, some of her old humor returning upon seeing her lover. "What took you so long?"
Jon tried to smile back but it wasn't easy, the sight of his sisters and lover in bondage was fanning the fires of his already wrathful mood. "Well, I had a few houses dropped on me," He said, his eyes dancing to the aliens and Goldcloaks who now formed a blockage to Jabba's throne. "But I'm here now, my queen."
Daenerys grinned and tried to speak further. But Jabba growled angrily and PULLED savagely at the chains he clutched. With a violent yank, Sansa and Daenerys were pulled off their feet with a cry, falling with a squish into the depths of their master's enormous gut. Jabba kept pulling, Sansa and Daenerys clutching at the collars as they were violently strangled, thrashing and squirming on their master's doughy, slimy gut. Sansa's booted heels scrambled for purchase at the edge of the throne, her wriggling causing her red skirt to flip this way and that, offering glimpses of her cunt beneath them. Daenerys meanwhile PULLED desperately at her collar, coughing and gasping for air but even her own strength proved useless against Jabba's dominant hand as usual and she was left squirming desperately for relief on his fat belly.
Arya snarled at Jabba, her bravery returning at the sight of Jon. She moved to lunge at him to stop him from abusing her sister but Margaery quickly grabbed her arm, stopping the younger Stark sister. Arya snarled at Margaery, hissing: "Let me go! We should act now!"
"Not yet," Margaery growled, pursing her lips. Arya stopped, sensing the firmness in Margaery's tone as Margaery guided her back into the curl of Jabba's huge tail. "An opportunity will present itself...but not yet. I'm afraid this man has just blown my plan wide open."
"That's my brother!" Arya bit back. She whirled around, twisting to watch the ongoing confrontation. "Just you watch, he's going to kick this slug's fat ass!"
"So!" Jabba growled, his booming voice filling the chamber. He relaxed his grip on his slave's chains. "A member of Daenerys's little army survived, hmm?" He laughed, recovering from his initial shock. This was just one man and he was severely outnumbered. Sansa and Daenerys tried to rise from his belly, to pull away from the layers of their master's slimy fat, but he pulled them back, his tail thrashing beside Sansa's thigh.
"Survived and more," Jon said, raising Longclaw which caught the glint of the torches. "I'm here for my sisters and Daenerys, Jabba. Release them and begone from Westeros. Take your army of monsters back to the stars. This land will never yield to you."
Jabba erupted with laughter, a laugh taken up by his guards. His tail slithered forward and wrapped around Sansa's leg like an exploring serpent, Jabba giving her succulent thigh a firm squeeze with the appendage. Meanwhile, his other hand began to stroke Daenerys's hair, roaming through her unique white locks, twisting and playing with them between his sausage-like fingers, so soft in contrast to his rubbery, filthy hide. Both girls moaned in disgust, Sansa offering no resistance as the tail coiled around her leg while Daenerys slapped ineffectually at Jabba's bloated hand. Jon's face turned purple with rage at the sight of the two women being molested by the fat slug.
"This land has already yielded, I possess strength of arms and technology far beyond this primitive planet!" Jabba spewed back at Jon, slime spewing from the depths of his rotund maw to shower his slavegirls. "You, boy, have made a very foolish mistake. I admire your courage and your tenacity to sneak into MY palace..." Jabba paused for emphasis, before wrapping one chubby arm around Sansa and Daenerys both. He cuddled them together, his tongue emerging to give Daenerys's cheek a slobbery lick with his slimy, girthy tongue while his tail squeezed Sansa's thigh possessively, its tip teasing her skirts, a thin layer of cloth all that separated her lady parts from being violated once more by the monstrous member. The two girls moaned in horror as Jabba cuddled them, looking at Jon with desperate, pleading eyes.
"I will NOT give up my favorite decorations," Jabba growled, waving his chain wielding hand at all four women, the chains of Sansa and Daenerys clanking with the motion. "I like Sansa, Daenerys, Margaery, and Arya where they are. And now..." Jabba licked his scum coated lips and laughed. "And now, boy, they get to watch you DIE.'
Jabba pointed one fat finger at Jon and barked to the small amount of guards in the room, outnumbering Jon eight to one:
"KILL HIM! Bring me his head!"

Walkthrough: https://youtu.be/2JtBGEQOuaY
I made this video to show what the UPN Garden apartments look like. When I transferred, I didn’t get to see any images or videos on how UPN looked, so I hope this video helps incoming students who get placed here. Also sorry for the mess, this was taken post-graduation and right before move-out, so a little craziness was expected.
This is building 240 on Buckingham Way, Garden units. I was placed in a 3 bed, 1 bath unit with 4 other women, so 5 roommates in total! A little hectic at times, but we managed.
Things to note:

1. Only 2-pronged outlets! 3-pronged appliances will NOT fit. Please look into getting adapters, Amazon has a bunch: https://www.amazon.com/Converter-Polarized-JACKYLED-Appliances-Industrial/dp/B085QBFBKB/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?crid=1NSEV44HCCT66&keywords=3+pronged+2+pronged+adapter&qid=1685570103&sprefix=3+pronged+2+pronged+a%2Caps%2C941&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzME5KWEFDUVM5ME9MJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMjU0MTk5M0RTR05HM1FQRk5VWSZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMzc3OTMzMUdRWTBUMkFTNVE0OCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=
2. Kitchen countertops easily stain and damage.
3. The bathroom ceiling bubbles up from leakage from the upper floors. This is common for UPN units altogether.
4. There are heaters in every room! To turn them off, pull the string and let it fall back into the heater. This shuts a flap so that hot air doesn’t get released. However, it still gets hot even if you do close it. I put a durable bag in front of the heater to try and cover the vent, but it still remains warm. There is no real way to stop the heat.
5. Consider privacy film for windows, people are nosy. We were on the bottom floor, so we had a lot of foot traffic and nosy people. Amazon has some options: https://www.amazon.com/Daytime-Privacy-Non-Adhesive-Decorative-Control/dp/B07FBZ7NML/ref=sr_1_6?crid=NWGHI8DRR3CT&keywords=window+tinted+film+for+home&qid=1685570419&sprefix=window+tinted+film+for+home%2Caps%2C310&sr=8-6
6. We had an ant problem when we first move in. I highly suggest getting ant spray or ant traps. The ant problem went away after 2 months into the fall semester
7. Close windows when it’s super windy outside. SFSU Housing will also suggest you close them so that the windows don’t snap off and get damaged.
8. The bathrooms are forever stained. The roommates and I are very clean people, so we would clean the bathroom every weekend, but it still looked dirty even though it was cleaned. The linoleum had dark spots that could not be cleaned by mopping or any product we used. We just tried to keep up with the cleaning schedule and cover it up with some big bathroom rugs to make it look presentable.

The UPN Gardens are not the worst, but the overall term to describe them would be “Janky.”
We never really had any big safety concerns either. We had some instances of homeless people sleeping on top of the carports and a really drunk student who passed out on the lobby floor, but nothing dangerous. Even if there was a problem, campus security was fast acting and could get to UPN quickly. We had one car stolen (from what I’ve heard) during the 2 semesters I was living at UPN. It was not one of my roommates, but one of the other residents in our building. They busted her driver's window out and stole it that way.
Transportation around UPN was wonderful! We had the 57 that went through the UPN area as well as the 29. M was only a 10-minute walk away. It was easy to take a bus or train to where ever you needed to go.
Feel free to add/share anything else I missed!

Three days ago, my housemates were alive.
And I wasn't losing my fucking mind.
Three days ago, I awoke to my housemate, Misty, shaking me.
“Get up!!”
Misty was usually the last to roll out of bed out of all of us, so I figured it was something important. My housemate wouldn’t get out of bed for nothing. She valued her sleep—often comparing her bed to a safe haven. Her place of solitude. I was right there with her, until she startled me out of slumber. I opened my eyes to find her face roughly three inches from mine, her expression lit up with excitement I couldn’t justify this early in the morning.
She smelled of toothpaste breath and her raspberry scented body wash. Her thick black curls framing her face were still damp from what I presumed was a shower, hanging in tangled knots in front of wide, almost unseeing eyes. When I first met her, Misty Kang had been my crush for a while. With a Korean father and a Texan mother, she definitely caught eyes when we hung out. We had a thing in freshman year, which quickly fizzled out once we started living together. Never date your housemates.
I will just say that.
Over the last few years, Misty has become one of my closest friends.
When she knew I was at least conscious, my housemate was grabbing my arm and yanking me out of bed. “Get up!”
I was barely awake, and those were the only words I could fully distinguish.
I shooed her away for a moment and swung my legs out of bed, taking a minute to blink sunlight out of my eyes coming through the blinds. “Sam.” Misty was in front of me again.
I don’t think she understood the concept of being half asleep.
She wouldn’t leave me alone, waving her arms wildly. Her shadow under the soft morning light almost reminded me of one of those inflatable tube guys.
“Huh?” My voice was a low croak, and her smile widened.
“Guess who’s just scored tickets for an actual screening of the first five minutes of gameplay for the most anticipated game of the decade?”
“What?” Her string of words wasn’t making sense in my caffeine deprived mind. It just sounded like gibberish to me, initially.
Like we were in some cheesy commercial, she was the lead, and I was the confused NPC with the WTF expression. But when I went over it in my head, words started to slide together like a jigsaw puzzle. Misty didn’t get excited about video games. Well, she did. Though, my housemate was one to get excited on behalf of someone else. After living with her for a while now, I had concluded she was a follower.
By that, I mean whatever others thought or did or said, she copied it. If her Twitter followers were mad at bad takes, she would drop all of her own opinions on said follower and focus on what other people said. We had Korean barbecue for takeout the other day, and Misty clearly did not like it from the creased look on her face, and her very obviously spitting it politely into a napkin.
Jay, my other housemate, liked it.
And so did I. So, naturally, Misty announced she wanted more.
I had to watch her suffer through two more portions before she excused herself—presumably to throw up. Blinking at my housemate who was clearly excited for Jay, I resisted the overwhelming urge to roll my eyes.
“Slow down. What game? What are you talking about?”
I got out of bed and threw on my robe, half aware of the mess from last night on my desk. Another attempt to finish an essay which just wasn’t happening. The monster energy cans and takeout Chinese wrappers were embarrassing. I got a basic run-through as I headed downstairs with Misty right behind me, practically breathing down my neck. From what I understood, there was a Reddit post.
That was all I got from Misty’s squealing. She leapt down the stairs after me with a spring in her step. The clock above the front door told me it wasn’t even 9am. The smell of bacon, however, was quick to arise me from the dead.
Jay was in the kitchen making breakfast. I noticed his laptop was open on the table, and every so often he’d peer at it with wide, almost disbelieving eyes. Jay and Misty were complete opposites, which made them great people to live with. Jay was a quiet book who was slightly on the pretentious side, routinely quoting something philosophical to piss me off.
He had rich parents on the other side of the world, but the guy himself was fairly humble and had mostly detached himself from said family.
My housemate was usually well put together. In fact, I barely saw him in his pajamas, excluding game nights. That morning, however, he was a disheveled mess, still in yesterday’s clothes.
He offered me a grin. I glimpsed sauce from last night’s dinner still staining his chin. Jay hadn’t brushed his hair or even put on deodorant.
I caught a whiff of BO when he ducked in front of me, his gaze glued to his MacBook. It was rare when Jay ignored basic hygiene, so yeah, I was going to guess this was a pretty huge thing. “I did tell her not to wake you up, y’know.”
His slight aussie accent was always refreshing on a morning. Born in Australia and moving to the states when he was ten years old, Jay still had a slight tinge in his accent. I had seen pictures of his family, and the guy had definitely gotten most of his dad’s genes, thick brown hair, and freckles. While his dad was built like a pro wrestler however, Jay was leaner like his mom.
I shrugged. “I was already awake.”
“Liar.” He didn’t look away from his laptop.
Looking closer, I glimpsed the Reddit homepage.
“So, you have won something.”
Jay didn’t answer. I could tell he was excited by the way he could barely keep still, bustling around the kitchen, barefoot. “Coffee?”
His voice was more of a Misty-like squeak, and I half wondered for a moment if they had switched bodies, or he had at least become one with my other housemate through a chemical explosion. In our kitchen, which was yet to be cleaned after a cooking disaster several nights ago, I wouldn’t be surprised if something was living on the countertop. I nodded, slumping into a chair. “What’s going on? Why is Misty freaking out?” I nodded at his laptop. “She said you’ve won something?”
As if my housemate couldn’t hold it in anymore, he nodded, turning his screen towards me. “You know____, right?”
“Yes.” I sipped my coffee, eyeing a toaster strudel sitting on the countertop. "You mean the game which has been coming out for a decade."
He ignored that. “Well, what if I told you one of the developer’s posted on the official sub this morning?”
“For _____?"
He nodded with a grin, and I wondered it this was one of those rare times when Jay was blindly looking through a red flag to see what he wanted. I had heard of these types of scams, and Reddit was a breeding ground for them.
Gamers were pretty intense. I didn’t realize I was pulling a face until I caught his lips curving into a smile. Jay was usually the skeptical one.
“You don’t believe me.”
I downed my coffee to avoid replying. When I had drained the cup, he was still staring at me with amused eyes.
“What?”
“You think it’s bullshit.”
I shrugged. “You said it,” I said. “I’m pretty sure that game isn’t even partway through development. Didn’t Twitter leak a still last year? Also, they’ll be bringing out a new console before that game comes out.”
I leaned back in my chair. “It’s more of a pipe dream, at this point.”
“The leaks were fake,” Even he didn’t look sure. “Anyway, that’s not the point. One of the dev’s posted on the official sub this morning. He asked if we were all excited for the new game, asked if we could post some of our favorite NPC dialogue, and he’ll DM winners.”
“Uh-huh.” I nodded at the screen. I had already checked my phone for an internet meltdown concerning this post, but there was nothing. “And where is that post now?”
Jay didn’t look at me. “It was deleted. So it only reached a certain number of people.”
“Oh, it was deleted?” I couldn’t resist a smile. “What a coincidence.”
When I laughed, Jay scowled, showing me his screen—navigating his trackpad to his Reddit DM’s.
To my surprise, there was actually a message from what I guessed was a throw-away account.
While I was skim reading the DM, Misty hurried in, all dressed and ready for the day. I peeked at her outfit from Jay's laptop. Cute.
Extravagant, but cute. My housemate cranked the radio up before bouncing between us, a toaster strudel hanging out of her mouth.
Misty was a living animated character. Ignoring her wide smile, I turned back to the screen. “Congratulation!!” The DM started with capitals.
It took me reading it twice to realize there was a clear spelling mistake. I sent Jay a pointed look, but he was too busy practically vibrating with excitement. If the guy had any more caffeine, he was going to explode. “Since when did winning DM’s start with a typo?”
“I knew you were going to say that.” Jay curled his lip. “They were clearly excited when typing the message.”
“But this is supposedly an official,” I said. “Surely they would make sure it’s professional?”
My housemate didn’t reply, shooting a look at Misty, who rolled her eyes.
“Wow.” I squinted at the screen. “I am so sorry for caring about your safety. You do realize these types of scam’s usually end up with you being sold on the black market, right?”
I shuddered. “I’ve heard horror stories about underground markets specializing in illegal organ harvesting.”
“Or…” Jay’s eyes were glued to the screen. “You could be happy for me?”
I frowned at the rest of the message, which was just a capitalized freak-out about the upcoming release of the game, before inviting Jay (and a friend!) to a five-minute preview of gameplay, as well as a Q&A. There was a location and a time, which was brow-raising. “10 at night.” I said. “Who hosts a gaming convention at 10pm?” I leaned my chin on my fist. “Unless they wanted to lure as many gullible people as possible, and ship them to some organ harvesting factory on the other side of the world.”
Jay scoffed. “That’s dark.”
“You’re actually considering going to a 10pm gaming convention in the middle of nowhere. I’m trying to wake you up.”
Jay nudged me that time. “It’s real. Relax.”
“And.” I pointed to the screen. “No phones? Why would they ask you not to bring your phones?”
“To stop us filming content,” Misty sang. “Duh.”
I groaned, leaning back in my chair. “You’re on his side? This is clearly shady!” I didn’t get mad unless something was seriously pissing me off, and this was one of those times. Jay was a smart guy. There was no way he was falling for this bullshit. I thought he was joking around when he spent the day tracking the location on Google Maps. I went to class like normal and got updates through text. At lunch, Jay agreed with me and said it was in fact shady, and he wasn’t going. By afternoon classes, he was texting me in paragraphs explaining his own skepticism but had found several “friends” on an online forum who were also going and had changed his mind once again. The guy couldn’t make up his mind. He was driving me crazy.
Misty sent me several videos of Jay pacing the kitchen with his MacBook in his hands. She was broadcasting his mental breakdown via Instagram stories. But then she started to send me pictures of herself in different outfits, asking me for my opinion on each one. At that point, I turned my phone off. My housemates had lost their fucking minds. I did my own research though, just to make sure I wasn’t actually going to lose them to a shady cult.
I searched for the game itself, but just as I thought, it was shown as still in development. Every “update” was just fan speculation.
There were YouTube videos and TikTok’s of fake leaks, but nothing was real. It was either AI generated, or badly edited. By the time my classes had ended and I had turned my phone on, I had a barrage of missed calls and texts.
Most of them were from Misty with her outfit changes, and Jay changing his mind again.
This time he was convinced it was all a scam, his texts full of typos and crying emoji's which he never used. Before it hit me that Misty was most likely using his phone to text me.
I was right. When I walked through the door, I was greeted by both of them sitting on the stairs. Misty was scrolling through Jay’s phone, while the boy had his head in his hands. According to Misty’s last text, he was back to being excited to go.
From the look on his face, eyes shadowed with sleep circles, light brown curls slipping from under his hood, I wasn’t sure what Misty meant by “excited”. The guy looked the complete opposite. His mind had been consumed by the game, and the idea of seeing new content.
When I dropped my bag and folded my arms, fixing the two of them with my best disapproving parent look, Misty jumped to her feet. “Sam!” she waved Jay’s phone at me. “Did you get my texts? We’re actually going now!”
The 100+ texts on both messenger and iMessage said otherwise.
I nodded, my gaze on Jay. “Both of you do realize it’s a scam, right?” I softened my tone despite growing progressively more irritated. We were grown adults, not kids. I could understand a group of teenagers falling for it, but two twenty-three-year-olds?
This time, I ducked in front of Jay. “Hey.” I pulled down his hood, and he groaned, burying his head in his knees. “I don’t want to freak you out, so listen to me, okay?”
I exhaled out a breath. “I’m not saying something bad is going to happen to you, because it most likely won’t—and yes, I admit I’m being paranoid.” When he lifted his head, blinking through bedraggled curls, there was a faint smile on his lips. “But.” I said. “You are most likely going to end up disappointed. Which I don’t want, because you won't shut up about it for weeks."
I was only partly joking.
For a moment, I thought my housemate was going to wake up, and nod, laughing at how crazy it was.
Before shook his head and jumped up.
“I’m going to take a shower, alright? I should start getting ready."
I admit, I exploded at him.
We argued while he was in the shower, and I paced up and down the hallway, coming up with multiple reasons why he was definitely going to die, and only two positives if it was in fact real. In the end, I gave up worrying all together. I didn’t say anything when the two of them were hurrying around looking for shoes and missing car keys. I didn’t realize they were gone until the door was clanging shut, and a text was coming through. I didn’t look at it until an hour later, and I had calmed down.
Jay: 1h ago: Stop worrying, lmao. We’re good! I’ll keep my phone just in case. I’ll make sure to avoid the organ harvesting 😉
Another from Misty a few minutes later: “Love you! Chillll, kay? 😭😭 It’s going to be fun! I’ll take pics!”
…
Followed by: “Oh shit, we can’t. I’ll try to sneak some!"
Attached to the text was a photo of the two of them. Misty with a wide smile and a peace sign, and Jay who looked like he was mid-shout, his eyes on the road.
Those texts were… at least comforting, I guessed. Maybe they were right. I figured I was paranoid, and they in fact would really be okay.
But that didn’t stop the anxious coil in my gut when I tried to force down takeout pizza. I attempted to focus on my essay to distract myself, but I couldn’t stop glancing at my phone, and checking Twitter. There was a hashtag on the DM, which was just “PlayStationGO.” When I searched for it, however, nothing came up.
Sure, it was a private convention and only a select few knew about it, but nothing could escape Twitter.
Somewhere, someone must be talking about it. After scrolling through endless tweets though, I realized I was wrong. There was nothing.
That put a bad taste in my mouth.
10pm came, and I held my breath all the way through a Netflix TV show I was forcing myself to watch, half asleep, slumped at my desk.
I could barely distinguish the plot.
I just had a vague idea of the character names, and some of their motivations.
Midnight passed, and I was struggling to stay awake.
I glanced at my phone.
No messages, just a notification from Spotify reminding me my favorite band was playing nearby.
1am.
Still nothing. I fell back to sleep.
2:48am.
This time, I stayed awake for a few minutes glaring at my phone before my eyes grew heavy.
3:16: am.
My phone buzzed with a text from Jay, but I could barely desipher it: "can't feel help my head hurts Canshdhsn727272_6798mi/!! _&go home please. (Sent from: PlayStationGo™️ BETA)."
3:27: am.
3:54: am. I was wide awake, blinking at a notification which had popped up from an unknown number. I was trying to figure out what number it was, when my phone vibrated again and I almost jumped out of my skin.
After a moment of hesitation, I answered it.
I was trying so hard not to think of the possibility of it being the emergency room, or even worse, the cops.
All of my worst nightmares had come true in a single second.
“Hello?” I whispered in a croak.
“Are they in the house with you?” The stranger’s voice came through in a hiss of interference.
His words sent my mediocre dinner lurching back up my throat. “What?” I managed to get out. “Who?”
“Your friends.” He said, and I leapt to unsteady feet, my gut twisting and turning.
“No.” I found myself taking slow strides toward the window, brushing back the curtain and peering out into the night. “Why? Did something happen to them?” I paused.
“How did you get my number?”
“That does not matter.” His voice rattled in my ear as I rushed downstairs, almost stumbling down the bottom two. “I need you to get out of that house. Now. Get as far away as possible.”
I could hear his rapid breaths.
He was driving. I could hear the rumble of the engine. With my phone pressed to my ear, I obeyed his instructions, pulling open the door and stepping out into the cool night, a brisk breeze grazing my bare arms was just enough to stop my thoughts spiraling.
I was barefoot, in nothing but a robe, staggering down the driveway. The night was calm and silent; our neighborhood was asleep, each window drowned in darkness. I couldn’t breathe, my clammy fingers wrapped around my phone, as this stranger broke down over the phone. “Whatever you do,” he gasped out.
“Do not, I repeat DO NOT remove the PlayStationGo—shit!! He hissed out, static rattling the call. The guy seemingly got ahold of himself, and the wheel, and continued. I started to walk—where I was going, I had no idea.
The stranger lit a cigarette. I heard the click of a lighter and his exhalation of breath. “It was a BETA version, but we had to rush it. This was not my idea. My boss is a greedy man. He wanted to release the game last year, which would have meant widespread infection. Luckily, that did not happen. We did manage to delay it, but only by a year.” His words barely made sense to me as I struggled to get a word in, peering in the dark. “It was supposed to be a virtual experience of the game—a whole new angle of gameplay. But testing was difficult. First, on monkey’s, we lost multiple subjects. Tonight was supposed to be a…well, I guess you could call it out first attempt on human subjects,” his laugh was bitter. “I knew the tech wasn’t finished. And I tried. Believe me, I fucking tried. I tried to blow the whistle, but these bastards know where my parents live."
Something squirmed its way down my spine.
“So my friends were lab rats?” I said stiffly. “You used them?”
I fucking knew it.
I knew it was too good to be true.
“Yes and no. Listen to me, the people I work for are hunting them down. Trust me, I don’t want my bosses to find them because a life of experimentation will await them. Torture. Do you hear me? It does not matter if subjects fail. They don’t care. As long as there is at least a light at the end of the tunnel for them, they will see it as a win, and bring the publication date closer. They will not be treated as humans. Your friends signed a contract before trying out the tech, where the small print stated that, under section 3, player engagement, all subjects must agree to offer themselves as participants in later updates. I silently cursed Jay for always skipping the terms and conditions when buying games." The man stopped to breathe.
“I have told you multiple times, and I won’t say it again. Get as far away from that house as possible. I will take care of them. I will make sure of it." The sound of squealing engines, and I stopped power walking, coming to an abrupt stop. The silence of the night around me, compared to the sound of the highway he was on, traffic horns and the wind rushing through the window was an eerie contrast, a disturbance to the heavenly bubble we were trapped in.
“What do you mean ‘take care of them?” I had to swallow a yell. “Hey! What are you talking about?
“I’m sorry.” Was all he replied with. “I’m afraid it is too late. There was once an opportunity to save the mind during the initial level of the demonstration. However, once the PlaystationGo has been fully attached to the base of the subject, we no longer have control of it. Once integrating itself into the cerebral cortex, the PlayStationGo can only be removed by signing out of the player’s account,” his breath was heavy. “On this unfortunate occasion, however, your friends are unable to navigate the system due to a malfunction which scrambled their brains,” He trailed off. “Which has left them stranded in the game."
I let out a breath. “Right.” I said. “That’s.. bad. I mean, it’s a fucked-up piece of technology, but they’re just playing a game, right?”
There was a pause, before the man laughed.
“Young man, I don’t think you understand,” he said. “The PlayStationGo was created to give the player a full virtual experience of our game. The PlayStationGo is not a physical object. Created with nanotechnology, it attaches itself to the subject’s brain and is supposed to create a personal gaming experience for each player. As I said, however, it is not finished. It is yet to be released to the public, and of course, we are expecting certain ethical arguments due to the controversial—”
I pulled the phone away from my ear, shaking my head. I didn’t need to hear his attempts at trying to save his own skin.
“You need to help them,” I whispered. “Do you hear me? Can you do that? Can you help them?!”
“That is what I am trying to tell you,” He said.
“I know you are upset and confused, and believe me, I offer my apologies. But you need to listen to facts. During initial testing, our subjects were conscious enough to know where their home was. We are unsure why this happens, though we have linked it to territory, as well as the main character of the game heavily influencing their actions. I have been tracking them from the testing facility, and they are incredibly close. Please get as far away from there as possible. If you are no longer in the vicinity of the house, I can end this quickly and quietly before we gain attention.”
I wasn’t sure what I was going to say. Maybe start fucking screaming at him, because he was talking about getting “rid” of my friends, after their mistake.
“Do you understand me?” He said, when I couldn’t reply. “Your friends are lost causes!”
Before I could answer, though, headlights were suddenly coming around the corner, and I found myself paralysed to the spot. The car which swerved twice, crashed into several trash cans, before reversing and coming straight towards me, was not Jay’s car. Jay’s car was an old hunk of junk he’d gotten from a scrapyard. Jay’s car had doors which were practically hanging off, and a stereo which exclusively played either static gibberish, or old tapes I had no idea how to use. This car was bright yellow, and definitely had an option to drive itself. When the car came to a stop, inches from careening into me, I lost all control of myself.
I was vaguely aware of my phone slipping from my fingers and hitting the sidewalk. But I was too busy staring at the two shadows in the front of the car. The driver, and the passenger.
And the muffled screaming coming from the trunk.
When the door swung open, a figure stepping out, I did not recognise my housemate.
The stranger told me I wouldn't, but I didn't believe him.
Jay had left the house in casual jeans and a sweater, bearing the game's logo.
Now, I found myself face to face with a man with my housemate's face and features, his smile and eyes-- but something had been severed in his eyes and twisted in his expression. For one, Jay was wearing a suit I knew he couldn't afford, the sleeves torn, collar pulled open, smears of red staining the front.
His pants had cufflinks, and the Rolex on his wrist had definitely been pulled off someone's corpse.
The silver was stained a revealing scarlet. Drinking in his face, he looked like Jay. His curls hung in front of his eyes, freckles speckling his cheeks, but everything else wasn't. It wasn't until I was glimpsing what was moulded into the flesh of his hand, did I remember how to move. But then I was taking all of him in, everything my mind had intentionally skipped, because I didn't want to believe the stranger on the phone. Nanotechnology, the man had said in a hiss.
Fiction, I had thought.
Before I saw the reality of it, a writhing metallic like substance glued to the guy's temple, and slowly, very slowly, inching down his cheek, already forming around the bridge of his ear, a very faint blue light flickering.
Something must have alerted him. His cavernous eyes left mine, and he twisted his head—and I heard the sound of his neck snapping, his head lolling to the left slightly, his eyes flickering. I watched his whole body seem to sway back and forth, ready to fall forwards.
Before the newly formed device on his ear turned red, then green.
It was almost like he was… rebooting. As if coming back to life, Jay lifted his head at an awkward angle, before looking straight through me. The blood vessels in his eyes had popped, rivulets of red beading down his face. He should have been dead, I thought. No. No, he was dead. That… that thing was keeping him alive. “Well, shiiiittt,” he said. I could sense the game dialogue which had taken over him, forming on his mangled tongue.
“I’m a man on a mission.”
In jerking movements, he turned and marched back towards the car, opening the door, and sliding into the front seat.
I remembered how to move, ducking to grab my phone, before something slammed into the back of my head—and I saw stars.
I didn’t remember hitting the floor, only the soft sound of her voice, a seductive murmur repeating NPC dialogue, and her kitten heel sticking into my spine, forcing me onto my face.
Misty. I was expecting her to get it over with. But when she dragged me to my feet, sticking the barrel of a gun into the flesh of my neck—I figured she was still playing the game.
Twisting around to meet her eyes, lifeless and empty, only filled with light from the device which had taken over half of her face, I felt sick to my stomach. This thing wasn’t a games console or a virtual reality headset.
It was an attempt at coercing and programming something you already don’t understand, to do something impossible.
I could see that in the way the things had visibly chewed and eaten through her flesh, devouring her from the inside and out. I could see what was left of the dress she had worn earlier, but something must have gone wrong with her too. Because Misty had thrown on another outfit over the top, a diamond necklace hanging from her neck.
I caught a thin river of red pooling down her right temple, trying to ignore the twitchy way she moved, just like a character. From the way Misty walked, stumbling, I already knew she was gone. My housemate had newly acquired strength, throwing me in the trunk of the car where three other hostages were, and slamming it shut on my attempts to reason with her. She didn’t tie me up or restrain me.
In the dim light I could just make out though passing streetlights, I could see the trunk opened from the inside. Which was too easy.
Still though, Jay was driving recklessly, and every time I tried to throw the damn thing open, I was knocked backwards, rolling into a screaming girl, who was bound by her hands and feet. It took me multiple attempts before I had the trunk open, freezing cold air blasting me in the face. I untied the other hostages, but when I told them to come with me, they just stared blankly at me, and continued begging for their lives—and it only took me glimpsing what was attached to their temples, a familiar writhing metal plate, for me to understand. They too were playing the game. This time, as NPC hostages.
I found myself gingerly touching the trembling metallic flesh of the girl's fingers bound in rope. It had a slimy consistency, and I swore, I felt something bite into me.
No way, I thought.
This thing was sentient, yes. But it wasn't living.
Listen, I wish I could tell you what it was like to jump out of a moving car, but I can’t.
I remember it as lunging out of the trunk, hitting the freezing cold air, before hitting the ground head first, neutron star collisions exploding in the backs of my eyes.
What I do remember is waking up on the side of the road. Hours later. The sky was bright blue, a scorching sun blinding me when I managed to force my eyes open.
The early morning rush hour flew by as normal, and I wondered how ignorant American people had to be to ignore someone knocked out on the side of the road.
It’s not like I was nowhere near civilization. There was a fucking Subway right next to me.
When I had gathered myself, I remembered I had no phone. I couldn’t go home in fear of running into my rogue housemates playing their own fucked up version of _____ in their head. My plan was to try and find my phone, get in contact with the stranger who blew the whistle on my friends being dangerous, and find them. They couldn’t be far., right? And even if they weren’t themselves… someone would be able to save them.
If someone could do this to them, surely they could reverse it.
I felt sick, tired, and I was starving.
So, with some loose cash I’d found in my pocket, I bought a Subway and a Coke.
The woman at the counter smiled widely at me. She leaned forward, with a wink. “Nice cosplay!”
Cosplay?
I didn’t understand what she meant until I swore I felt something… move its way up my pant leg. I ignored it, and it happened again, this time it felt like something was… biting.
A bug, maybe? I had been laying on the side of the road for around six hours.
When I went to the bathroom, though, I found myself staring at an all too familiar glint of silver creeping its way across my temple. Like it was sentient, parts of it sider webbed towards my ear while the rest writhed into my hairline.
I pulled up my pant leg again, and there it was, a fungus-like metal substance which had already formed in two solid metal masses on my knees. I remember grazing two fingers across the thing beginning its slow feast of my flesh. I remember trying to pull it off, hissing in pain when I risked ripping off my own skin with it. I remember shaking my head and being in denial, even when the lights dimmed above me, and the bathroom door in front of me became more of a shadow. When I strode back through the Subway store, I began to see slight flickers of light above each person, highlighting something not quite there yet.
I could see it already starting, beginning to take over my thoughts. Cars which sped past were suddenly highlighted, and at the corner of my eye, if I concentrated, the outline of a map was starting to appear. Even now, when the room is almost completely taken over by shadow, and my thoughts are half my own, and half not—when a metallic device is beginning to form over my eyes—I know if I hold on, this thing won’t take me. I have considered killing myself, but that wouldn’t… be right.
How could I kill myself when there is so much left to do?
This developer was right. I don’t even know where I can sign out. There’s what looks like the beginning of some kind of index when I look up, but it’s not… finished. I can still see entangled pieces of code struggling to load what I’m guessing was log out. Whatever this thing is, it’s taking over me. Fast. Like a fungus, like a virus, it will not stop until it’s dragged me into the game, until it's leeched itself onto me.
I can feel it happening right now. It's been slow.
Almost painfully slow.
But maybe that is the point. Maybe part of the game is to feel my own thoughts beginning to unravel in favor of something else entirely.
Fuck.
Time is going by…. Fast.
Five minutes ago… I was trying to get home. But I can’t remember where I live.
I can’t concentrate.
I can’t think straight.
I have a phone—but I don’t know how I got it. Did I steal it?
Every time I move, the slowly emerging map comes to life at the corner of my eye jerks with my movement. There is a car parked nearby.
I know it belongs to the man with a child.
But a confusing blur of light is highlighting it to be something of importance. Reality is crashing in front of me, replaced with contorting shapes and bursts of color I have to blink through.
I keep hearing... sirens.
Jay is messaging me.
On what, I'm not sure.
But I need to find him.
I’m sure one mission won’t hurt, right?

"Get back to work."

Death

Created from the deepest void, the entity known as "Death" has existed since the dawn of time alongside his equals, Time and Life. His work in the universe started out as a small family business, reaping the souls of the living by his own bony hand over billions of years. But over time Death had grown weary and his scythe elbow had only gotten worse; that's when he had the brilliant idea to create the Sorrows, beings of death who would do the work for him, while he took his spot as CEO of Death Incorporated. Unfortunately, the Sorrows have begun to grow out of control and are more focused on reaping as many souls as possible, causing Death to literally become buried in paperwork. So it's time for Death to take up his loyal cloak, his magical Pitbook, and his trusty scythe once more so he can remind the Sorrows who's in charge and take down the mysterious being who seeks to use his Sorrows to depose him as CEO of Death Incorporated.

Direct Feats

Strength

• Can break through walls with his weapons or by dashing through them.
  
• Can swing weapons that are bigger and heavier than his own body
  
• Can shatter the head of Rocksters which are solid stone
  

Durability

• Can tank a nuclear ballistic missile
  
• Is completely unharmed from a blast that destroys the Modern Warfare Department which is big enough to have its own artificial sky
  

Speed

• Can dodge RPG shots
  
• Can dodge bullets from machine guns
  
• Can temporarily outrun a ballistic missile
  
• Can dodge lightning from a living storm cloud
  

Scaling Feats

• Defeated the Natural Disaster Department's Sorrow, Catherine Immamura, who can cause solar winds, floods, and cause meteors to rain down with just a snap of her fingers
  
• Defeated Time who is powerful enough to destroy a being capable of manipulating a quantic distortion, which is an alternate timeline, with a wave of his hand
  
• Defeated Life who was created from infinite energy
  

Weapons

Death may have started his career with nothing more than his basic scythe and a handful of magic spells. but over the years he's expanded his repertoire of deadly weapons. What's more, Death has a variety of different scythes (and some non scythes) to choose as his main weapon due to its transformation feature. Though Death has countless weapons at his disposal, we only see 71 in the game. Every weapon also has its own Frenzy attack which is a super powerful move that is charged up as Death deals damage.

The Scythe:

His trusty blade that can cut through space, time, and the elements. Death can summon his blade by holding out his hand as it flies towards him or he can simply have it teleport to him. Death can also stand in place to charge up his energy for a powerful charge attack

• The Diss Scythe: A variation of the basic scythe that allows Death to attack from further away.
  
• Twinsie: A variation of the basic scythe that prioritizes power over speed due to its second blade.
  
• Sickles: A pair of sickles that allow Death to attack at higher speeds in exchange for less range.
  
• Billhooks: A pair of blades that Death can throw at enemies before they return to his hands just like a boomerang
  
• Parasol 1.0: An enchanted parasol that can not only stab through foes with brutal efficiency but can also act as a shield/deflector.
  
• Seletine: Has slower attack speed but by slamming the mace end into the ground, Death can boost the power of his next attack.
  

The Cloak:

A sentient flying cloak that prefers to stay wrapped around Death's shoulders, the cloak not only lets Death turn invisible but can also transform into a variety of deadly weapons. It even protects him from the elements.

• Behammorth: A powerful hammer that's bigger than Death himself that hits hard in exchange for its slow attack speed.
  
• Brutumhammer: An upgrade of the Behammorth that lets Death slam it into the ground, launching stones all around him.
  
• Shake Spear: A long range spear that Death uses to attack foes with a three-pronged combo.
  
• Jabelin: A spear that Death uses to launch himself forward towards enemies, impaling anyone in his way.
  
• Sisword: A blade that Death uses to quickly jump in the air before diving at foes at lightning speeds.
  
• Drageanor: The sister to the Sisword, this blade allows Death to launch sharp projectiles with each swing.
  
• Slaymore: A giant sword that Death swings as he jumps in the air before slamming it down on the ground.
  
• Slaygore: Similar in size to the Slaymore, the Slaygore allows Death to slam the blade into the ground and send out an electrical shockwave. Can also be used to launch projectiles when swung mid air.
  
• Whirl Daggers: A pair of poisoned blades that Death uses to stab anyone nearby.
  
• Daggust: Death uses powerful gusts of wind to move back and forth in a flurry of sharp blades.
  
• Kaze-Kunai: Death throws out pairs of rapid-fire daggers (that are sharper than any metal on the surface) in a straight line. Death can summon an unlimited amount of these weapons.
  
• Arashi-Kunai: Death summons half a dozen daggers in front of him before launching them in a straight line. Death can summon an unlimited amount of these weapons.
  
• Ferral Fists: A pair of powerful arms that crush whoever is between its giant hands.
  
• Raparrier: A rapier that Death uses to brutally stab anyone in front of him. Should anyone wield this object then they will be consumed by an unstoppable rage until they stab someone with this blade. Death is immune to this effect.
  
• Dirty Dagger: A small dagger that, if stabbed in the back, injects you with a metallic substance that attacks your vital organs.
  
• Rocket Launcher: A rocket launcher that holds a malicious soul within, amplifying its power.
  
• Revelation Bow: A deadly bow and arrow shot with extreme efficiency. Death can summon an unlimited amount of arrows.
  
• Fire Bow: Similar to the Revelation Bow but with a slight homing effect on its arrows. Death can summon an unlimited amount of arrows.
  
• Death Star: A vicious looking morning star that Death had made after almost getting into a fight with a strange, cloaked, old man who kept bragging about his new "secret" space base while at a seminar.
  
• Murray of Crows: Death summons a murder of crows to surround him, damaging anything nearby.
  
• Vampire Battery: Death electrocutes himself and anyone nearby while also shooting out electrified bats at random. Death is not harmed by this.
  
• Beasteel: Death summons spider-like limbs from his back before jumping onto nearby enemies. Can also shoot out projectiles when used mid air.
  
• Excavor: Giant steel blades surge out of the ground around Death, impaling anyone nearby.
  

Pitbook:

A fireproof, floating, magical book that is filled with all kinds of magical spells that Death has learned over the years. It follows Death around like a loyal dog and if opened by anyone else other than Death, the only text visible will read: "WOOF! WOOFWOOOF! GRRR!"

Each of Death's spells consume a portion of his max mana reserves that automatically fills back up unless fully drained in which case it refills after a few seconds. While he starts the game with a low amount of mana that can be increased with items, this appears to be a gameplay mechanic as he is described as being able to increase his mana reserves at will and far beyond what the game will allow with the Focus spell.

• Fire Arrow: A simple fireball spell.
  
• Dark Talons: Summons a clawed hand from a creature named Charlie that grabs foes and pulls them closer to Death.
  
• Explosion: Causes an explosion.
  
• Poisoned Gift: Death throws two balls of venom made up of all the venoms of every snake found on the surface, poisons excreted from all the most lethal spiders who have ever existed, and a hint of wild mint for flavor.
  
• Boomerang Hex: Death shoots curved pure mana that then comes back around like a boomerang. Can launch more than one at a time.
  
• Myriad of Stars: Death summons a handful of miniature stars that then fly forward.
  
• Shockwave: Death releases an energy wave all around him.
  
• Spitfire: Pitbook shoots out a trail of fire on the ground.
  
• Poison Mist: A poison cloud of gas so powerful that it can poison a being made of pure toxic sludge. Can summon more than one cloud at a time.
  
• Boulderain: Summons boulders out of thin air and rain down on enemies.
  
• Mordicine: Death ingests a pill that hurts him in exchange for increased damage.
  
• Sacrifix: Death deals slight damage to himself over a period of a few seconds in exchange for two cups of Koffee (healing items)
  
• Vladislaw: Heals Death but reduces his maximum health with each use.
  
• Aleistar: A magical time bomb.
  
• Dark Claws: Summons Charlie's claws to rip and tear at foes.
  
• Bees: Death summons a pair regular bees that chase after foes. Can summon more than one pair at a time.
  
• Moskillto: A pair of magically enhanced mosquitos that chase after foes. Can summon more than one pair at a time.
  
• Star Raving Mad: Summons a meteor shower to rain down on foes.
  
• Skyfall: Lightning bolts rain down in front of Death.
  
• Makeshift Rockets: Death shoots a magical firework that explodes on impact.
  
• Piercing Ray: Death shoots out beams of light that home in on foes.
  
• Spiteful Chomper: Summons one of Charlie's mouths that crawl forward, chomping on anything in their path. Can summon more than one at a time.
  
• Starry Halo: Summons two stars that temporarily spin around Death, damaging anything that comes near. Can summon more than one pair at a time.
  
• Firescreamer: Pitbook shoots out a stream of fire in front of Death.
  
• Soul Razor: Opens a vortex that damages enemies within while enhancing Death's damage.
  
• Focus: Temporarily increases Death's mana regeneration speed while also temporarily increasing his max health and mana reserves.
  
• Voracious Burst: A spell that lowers Death's maximum health in return for summoning a spectral mouth in front of Death that heals Death equal to the 15% damage dealt.
  
• Ganglion X-4: Summons spiked balls that can bounce around for a few seconds before disappearing. Can summon more than one at a time.
  
• Frostbreeze: Shoots out a freezing gust of wind that also inflicts Frozen which slows down foes
  
• EyeSeeYou: Summons one of Charlie's eyeballs that acts as a turret, shooting projectiles at an enemy before disappearing after a few seconds. Can summon more than one at a time.
  
• Wishtorm: Shoots down golden bolts of lightning powered by wish magic that can destroy every layer of reality.
  
• Frostoxic: Causes a bunch of ice spikes to shoot out of the ground.
  
• Tempus Abjuratum: Traps foes in a bubble of stopped time.
  
• Sepulchral Ray: Fires a beam of damaging purple energy that inflicts the Arcane effect which deals additional damage after five layers of arcane are applied to a foe.
  
• Troublecross: Shoots two rays of energy that move in a crisscross formation.
  
• Wizzalch Barrage: Brings down several lightning bolts on the foe's head.
  
• Tornadmin: Launches a Mach 2 cyclone at foes that is full of sharp edged papers.
  
• Lyberis Skulls: Summons exploding skulls around Death, damaging foes.
  
• Nihilaser: The strongest laser in Death's arsenal, it can destroy all forms of existence in the universe when used correctly.
  
• Anvilaunch: Death uses telekinesis to rip out one ton's worth of metal from the ground and throws it at foes while it's in the shape of an anvil.
  
• Void Rift: Tears a hole in the fabric of reality above a foe's head as several of Charlie's fists come flying through, smashing anything beneath them.
  

Miscellaneous Powers

• Time Travel: Various weapon lore entries make mention of Death's ability to travel through time and space at will.
  
• Healing: Death can heal 15% of his total health with the use of bursts of life essence called Animas. Death can only hold three of them at a time.
  
• Resurrection: Death is never the end for this CEO and if his body should ever be destroyed then Death will reappear right back at his desk, ready to give it the old college try once again.
  
• Head Removal: Death can remove his head without issue.
  
• Damaging Non-Physical Beings: It's no surprise that Death can attack ghosts, but he's also capable of hurting and killing living fire, living water and living clouds as well
  
• Resistance To Time Manipulation: Time's own time stop attack can only hold Death for a few seconds
  
• Dashing makes him immune to damage, allowing him to dash through enemies and attacks
  
• Can float above the ground
  

Curses

Death can also gain various curses which (despite the name) amplify his stats, scythe, cloak, magic, or give him new abilities outright. As there are 243 curses available, I will only be including those that aren't reliant on gameplay mechanics and can be translated into lore (such as a curse that doubles defense) and will only include the best version of a curse (meaning that if there is a curse that triples Death's damage then I will not post a curse that only doubles his damage).

• And My Axe!: Every time Death uses a Cloak based weapon, an axe is launched from his cloak.
  
• Knave of Swords: Summons a small flying scythe that moves around Death.
  
• Praised Be The Bombcloak!: Every time Death uses a Cloak based weapon, a bomb is launched from his cloak.
  
• MC Scythe: Death can ignore pain while attacking.
  
• Astral Claws: Every few seconds, the foe (or a random foe if there is more than one) will be attacked by invisible claws.
  
• Soul Sucker: After taking damage, a percentage of any damage that Death deals in the next two seconds is gained as health.
  
• Tyrannical Boss: After taking damage, the next attack that Death lands deals 200% more damage
  
• Social Toxicity: All of Death's attacks inflict poison on foes.
  
• Burning Up: Death's attacks burns foes.
  
• Perish The Thought...: Death's attacks inflict Frozen on foes, slowing them down.
  
• Millanima Eye: Death gains two extra Anima slots.
  
• Burn-Out Channeling: Being damaged increases the Frenzy gauge.
  
• A Spoonful Of Suger: Every attack has a 10% chance of freezing an enemy in time. Both this curse and Tempus Abjuratum are strong enough to work on Time himself.
  
• Anima Lambic: Consuming an Anima grants Death temporary regeneration.
  
• Eye For An Eye: Being damaged grants Death temporary regeneration.
  
• Tooth For A Tooth: Being damaged grants Death a 30% chance of gaining an Anima.
  
• Straw Helm: Doubles Death's defense.
  
• Animoolah: Golden Animas fully heal Death.
  
• Corvus Nefas: Being damaged launches crows towards the nearest foe.
  
• Flash Of Brilliance: Every attack causes the target to be struck by lightning.
  
• Conflagrations: Using a spell causes explosions to appear around Death.
  
• Iranima: Using an Anima fills up Death's Frenzy bar by 50%.
  
• Crow Cover: Using a spell launches crows towards the nearest foe.
  
• Imminent Burnout: The Cloak periodically launches crows towards the nearest foe.
  
• Social Security: Death is invincible for one second after taking damage.
  
• Imminent Reverie: Death periodically creates another Anima.
  
• Zeus's Wrath: Being damaged causes the foe to be struck by lightning.
  
• Static Electricity: Using a Cloak based weapon causes the nearest foe to be struck by lightning.
  
• Stroke of Luck: Death will survive a fatal attack as long as he's not one hit away from death. This effect will continue as long as this is the case.
  

Now that as an employee you know everything there is to know about the CEO himself it is high time that you got to work filtering souls for the great beyond. So swallow your feelings and put on a smile because the first day of the end of your life begins...now.
Welcome To The Afterlife

First Previous Wiki
"I should not let you enter," the old man said, gazing unhappily at Phoebe standing beside Penny in her dream.
"Please. You're mind controlling her, so I think you would have stopped me if you wanted to,"
Phoebe replied.
"Not control. Humans don't 'control' the air, they breathe it. In the same way, I feed on Penny's psychic energy."
"I see. And when you said you had infinite power, what exactly did you mean?"
"I do. But my power is dead," Death said. "That is how I am."
"And you can exist in the psychic realm, but not the regular mindscape?"
"Sometimes."
"What defines those times?"
"It depends. People dying, obviously. About a quarter of all deaths in the galaxy aren't Sprilnav."
"A quarter?"
"Yes."
"So I assume they're killing themselves."
"Yes."
"And that energy isn't a constant influx?"
"Somewhat. It comes in both a trickle and waves. But I know you're going to ask more. The answer is that the Progenitors give conceptual protection to the Sprilnav. The further away a Sprilnav is from them in space, time, and more, the weaker they are. That is why Elders can survive impacts that could vaporize metal, not just their implants and psychic energy."
"Conceptual weight seems to feature heavily in your power," Phoebe said.
"It does."
"And you are a concept. If you fought Fate, for example, would you win?"
"Depending on what you mean by winning. Really, concepts cannot overcome each other."
Phoebe smiled. That meant that Death would want a way to do that. Probably the hivemind was the way. With that answer, she continued.
"Concepts cannot overcome each other? So you don't have a fate, and Fate can't die?"
"Not really."
"Can you die?"
"No."
"Does Fate have a fate?"
"I don't know. But really, there's no way I'll tell you that even if I find out."
"How many people have died?" Phoebe asked.
"Define people, and define death."
"People as in sentient and sapient beings, which are capable of thought and planning. Death as in the ceasing of characteristics of life such as the termination of blood or gaseous material within the living being, as well as the ceasing of psychic energy and brain activity within the being, for those that have some equivalent to brains."
"It is not specific. Quintillions, at least. A lot more, really. There's many that don't quite fit the condition. If you count the moments before the great war, you'd need exponents."
"We have numbers for that."
"Okay. Sprilnav deaths alone, even with the conceptual madness of the... what do they call it? The Source war. Yes. It's quite a lot," Death said.
"Give me a number, please."
"Fine. 39 undecillion."
Phoebe was silent. There were so many Sprilnav that it was stupid. Even thinking about the level of that fall was truly insane. And she assumed that during the fall, they had a very bad time. It would have been madness and anarchy with the added characteristic that everyone also had nukes and shields.
"There's more than the observable universe, you know."
"How many died in the aftermath of the Source war?"
Death frowned. "The numbers in terms of those who had already survived the war, but not the fall of civilization, are as follows. 1 in 30,000 Elders lived. 1 in 850,000 regular Sprilnav lived. Of those, 875 Sprilnav didn't end their lives."
"875 thousand? Million?"
"No. 875 normal Sprilnav, who were not Elders."
Phoebe thought that was sad. Basically, in the whole galaxy, every Sprilnav had died, at least statistically. The number alive right now, even still outnumbering the galaxy, was a rounding error. If what he said was true, the Source had killed more people than any other being, alive or dead. And that assumed there weren't any other civilizations of a similar scale to them.
She also didn't bother to ask how the Sprilnav population was now so large. Whether it was inbreeding or cloning didn't matter much. But it helped to explain why so many Elders were so crazy all the time. She needed to stay on task, however.
"Alright. Back to you. You're not a psychopomp?"
"No. I do not interfere with souls. I am the concept of death."
"So, do you get energy from stars blowing up?"
"That is not dying."
"But people believe that supernovae are the deaths of stars."
"That does not shift the concept itself."
That was interesting. So Death wasn't a belief harvester, then. Not the type that actually was shaped by the belief of sapient beings in their actions. Concepts existed and were finite and infinite in scope. Maybe some were truly finite. They could conflict with each other, and their influence would generate a weakening effect, like destructive interference with alternate types of waves. But that did not mean that was always so. Perhaps they could do the opposite.
It was likely that Death worked with Fate at least sometimes and that if Entropy existed, it was most concerned with the Sprilnav. Conceptual protection by the Progenitors was another interesting concept that she hoped to probe if Nova ever returned. She did have the feeling he was either doing everything for fun or entirely serious. He was certainly not quite there in the head after the experience that Death had shared with her.
But for conceptual beings like him, there were rules and regulations, perhaps bound by whatever absolute concept they fit within. Whether they were hard rules or not was unknown. Defined in their structure, but not their limits. And perhaps that meant there was more to figure out here."Interesting. And if you need to feed off psychic energy, why not use psychic amplifiers?"
"It's not the same quality. Humans don't drink pure water only; they drink it for the minerals and other healthy products within it. It's the same for me."
"But you can't die. Why would it matter?"
"I can diminish. It would affect things, though not as you expect."
"That is interesting also," Phoebe replied. "Are you suggesting that you could diminish, which means other concepts can as well?"
"Not directly," Death nodded with a smile. He stumbled, clutching his head. Phoebe felt a vast energy press down upon them and could feel something brush against her mind like a bullet just grazing the skin. In that one motion, she'd felt more inherent danger than all previous enemies combined, so much danger that it bypassed her artificial instincts entirely to lay thickly on her tongue as an acrid taste.
She didn't fall to the ground, and neither did Penny. They stood there, searching for the source of the pressure.
"What is this?" she asked.
"Luck..."
"Luck is a concept that watches over others?"
A swirling vortex opened up around Phoebe, parallel to the ground. Light and other equivalents shone out of it, dancing around its interior, piercing the layers of dark black fog. The mindscape trembled slightly, and the ground underneath Penny and Phoebe cracked. A small voice whispered out of it, though it was easily audible.
"No more."
"Look, if you're really Luck, then-"
"No more," the voice repeated. "You are done here. Do not come back."
Phoebe snorted. "If you think this little mysterious act is going to intimidate me, you're wrong. And I will."
"Not today."
"You don't get to decide-"
"I decide all."
Phoebe's head seemed to split with pain, and she found herself lying dizzily next to Penny. The human's chest was heaving, and sweat laced her eyebrows and cheeks.
"That went well," Phoebe coughed. The headache receded far too slowly. But she'd still learned a lot. Conceptual beings had concerns, for one. They likely cared about getting stronger in some cases. Humanity had some sort of outside context power, but more than that, the hivemind itself could actually use it.
"It did. Thanks, and sorry you couldn't get more."
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
"Hello, Rank 10 Ambassador Liinara. To what do we owe the pleasure?" Ambassador Varirlar asked, letting a small smile curve around her snout. Putting the other party at ease would make this conversation easier, especially since she suspected this call wasn't just a concerned friend.
"You might want to sit down for this," her counterpart said. "Remember Exii'darii?"
Varirlar froze.
"Don't tell me you let her free."
"We didn't. The Sprilnav broke her out."
"Elders?"
"Not that we saw. But it is likely they are working for one," Liinara said, her antennae twitching. Varirlar knew there was a pheromone effect that went on with the Vinarii, which still couldn't be fully translated into description by words.
"Alright. You know how serious this is, I assume?"
"Yes."
"Many factions in the Alliance, especially the more recently joined ones, will not be happy."
"We understand."
"I can speak on behalf of the Alliance in asking a request for an official apology. Furthermore," Varirlar said, holding up a single claw, "I want your government to share the full containment procedure down to the alloy composition of the materials. Assuming you actually kept her in a prison cell for over a decade, that meant you had a way to keep her from escaping. Tell us how."
"You wish to recapture her?"
"We are not as naive as we once were," Varirlar said. "The Hateful Galaxy has taught the rest of the Alliance the same hard lessons it taught me. The Breyyanik did not forget its nature when we settled Ceres."
"Ah, so you wish to either use her or kill her."
"There is no use for her," Varirlar said. "Unless our scientists can propose a solution, there will be no use for her. She will be put down like the dog she is.""Then we are in agreement."
"Yes. The Alliance and the Vinarii's relationship has been tense for a while. We haven't spoken with Calanii or Ashnav'viinir in several years now. Why have you decided to diverge from us? Do we no longer suit your interests?"
"Not exactly. Even besides the... tumultuous events of Humanity's first contact, there are other powers at play. And there is evidence, in some cases, of Sprilnav interference." Liinara tapped her skull three times, the Vinarii way of saying that someone was a few branches short of a tree.
"Interference. Are there ways to prevent it?"
"Not officially. If you wish to discuss terms, I can set you up with one of our intelligence agencies. They will not be willing to share national secrets for nothing, however."
"I think this... debacle should count enough as recompense, don't you?" Varirlar smiled.
"Perhaps. But I am not who must be convinced. With that said, I wish you luck, Ambassador. I am glad that your Alliance has moved to take a more realistic path. And Ashnad'darii is still imprisoned, I presume?"
"Under much heavier guard once this call ends. But yes, she is still in a cell. Yes, she has implants. But she is leverage."
"Her usefulness is little," Liinara warned. "Calanii won't care at all about her."
"Everyone keeps saying that. But let's just say there are reasons she isn't dead."
"You should kill her."
"We should. We maybe could. Assuming that the official way is still trying to get an implant under her chitin to kill her instead of just launching her into the sun. Granted, that would kill her eventually."
"She is dangerous. Unable to be trusted."
"She was broken years ago," Varirlar said. "From what I've heard, she wears human-made clothes now instead of going naked. Plus, she has given us insights on Vinarii society, particularly involving its hierarchy."
"You're using her as a spy."
"A spy that hasn't seen a Vinarii face in almost twenty years? Pretty crappy at that job, I'd say. We both know that she killed hundreds of thousands personally, and was willing to kill many more. If she did not have her uses, she would have already been killed. Plus, there's a safety procedure in place."
"If you mean a bomb collar, good luck with that."
Varirlar didn't mean a collar. Psychic energy monitors were closely tied to a pair of fusion bombs that were embedded in her prison's walls. Should she get too far from the natural cell, they would explode. After all, the room had a bed, bathroom, sanitized entertainment, and a food and water delivery system. She was definitely mostly rehabilitated, but her crimes would follow her for the rest of her life. Their severity made her a case that would likely never fully rejoin any society unless it was an afterlife.
"Well. This has been productive," Varirlar replied with a smile. "But unfortunately,"
"Wait. I'm here to tell you something else, as well. The Dual Systems Trading Company wants to send more ships to your Sol system."
"How many more?"
"Umm, around 400."
"Why don't you have an exact number?"
"The negotiations are still underway. But they seek to bring Vinarii products to the internal Alliance markets, particularly the small Vinarii and larger Wisselen exclaves living within."
"They wouldn't be able to get you much money, unless it's in various Alliance cash forms. There's an angle, isn't there?"
"Well, yes. We don't know it yet. But it is suspicious."
Varirlar sighed. "Have you given them special brain scans?"
"What do you... oh. You suspect that?"
"Suspicious and spontaneous changes in their policy toward the Alliance, as we are suffering from issues with Sprilnav messing with people, and wanting to send us ships? I'm not stupid, Ambassador Liinara."
"I did not mean to insinuate-"
"Sure you didn't. Now, I shall tell you something very interesting. Are you ready?"
"Yes."
"Very well," Varirlar said dramatically, adjusting her mane as she leaned forward. "The hivemind would be willing to meet with your... incapacitated members for study from afar."
"What do you mean?"
"Intelligence."
"We cannot trust it."
"I see. You are aware that you have just called all of Humanity untrustworthy, right? That's quite the insult, unprovoked."
"Apologies, Ambassador, that is not what I meant. The hivemind is likely to have its own motivations, and could be motivated to lie about what it saw."
"As could your own operatives, who could be pinned to the floor by any regular Sprilnav and chipped within a minute. Don't act like they don't have legendary hacking abilities as well. None of your systems are safe."
"And the Alliance's are?"
"With both Edu'frec and Phoebe watching over them, then yes."
"Ah, so you still think that the Sprilnav don't use AI."
"Why would they? It would threaten their own sense of superiority. If they already used AI, everyone would have a chip when they were born. There would be no resistance, because eventually a logical mind would not tolerate the constant pushback."
"You are free to believe what you do. However, my thoughts do diverge. As for Phoebe, she did a disappearing act for a while, didn't she?"
"And?"
"She isn't exactly reliable either," Liinara replied.
"If you're drowning in the ocean, would you rather have an island that storms a little or nothing at all?""I fail to see how her situation compares to that analogy. It was a very serious problem, if I understand it."
"And what do you suggest, then? Constantly bring her down over it until she resents us and shoves her hands through our hearts? Phoebe's a person, Ambassador. An Alliance citizen, a Luna citizen, and even more importantly than that, a friend. It's quite hurtful that you are suggesting such, unless it is the official stance of the Vinarii government. I assure you, the mess with your company trying to invade us is not resolved, either. Words cannot heal what actions injured. If you want reconciliation, it would be best to take the first steps yourself. Do not tell the Alliance to alienate Phoebe just because she made a mistake."
"Your own intelligence agencies would do the same in many cases."
"I fail to see how her situation compares to that analogy," Varirlar sighed. "Phoebe is the single most useful asset that the Alliance has come across that is not a purely psychic entity such as the hivemind or Gaia, or some paragon of a species like Dilandekar or Penny."
"So she's an asset, and not a person?"
"Please, Liinara. In the world we live in, the galaxy we live in, everyone is both. Do not lie to yourself. However, the Alliance wishes to show its people a shred of respect so it does not drag them through the mud when they made a mistake. Even before that, rehabilitation was the goal of Humanity. Why else do you think that we have prisons instead of just a wall where the bad people stand in front of to be shot? If a starving mother stole something, that doesn't mean we chop off her hands. We get her the help she and her child needs, so they can rejoin Alliance society and raise us all higher."
"Your Alliance has not fixed poverty like it said, then."
"Kind of difficult when one of your species is at a near constant feudal civil war, and another had a third of its populace halfway through insurrection. I assume that the Vinarii Empire has no such problems, correct? And again, I remind you that you are supposed to represent its official position, not your own."
Varirlar suspected that the Ambassador here had something else going on, as well. Whether it was mind control, being paid to screw this up, or something else entirely, this wasn't how such a conversation was meant to go. She only was continuing it to see if Liinara slipped up on something interesting.
"My position is as a Rank 10 Ambassador. You would do well to respect that."
"Respecting positions instead of people does not make sense when the position is respectable and the people are not. You have insulted Phoebe, Humanity, and the Alliance with your words. Were I to relay them, you might see a more hostile stance to the Vinarii Empire. Remember that you have agreements with us."
"Yes. Times have changed."
"I am sure that the Hive Emperor would not exactly like to hear what you have said. But do not worry, Ambassador. We will learn the truth of your words soon enough, one way or another. That is all for now. Perhaps I will ask for a Rank 11 Ambassador next time, to save myself the insults."
She ended the call and sighed. Varirlar could spin the wheel of chance, but the two answers were likely either mind control or someone being paid off to harm relations between them. Given Liinara's expressions, she didn't assume it was translation errors to blame. And this call was on a secure line, even more so than most.
Really, the Vinarii could be doing it. But she smelled something was up. There was likely a very rich Vinarii who the Sprilnav had either made to work with them or forced to, using mind control. Perhaps it really was the answer to both. But she knew not to just assume that. When you had a hammer, everything looked like a nail. It was an apt human saying for the situation.
Varirlar contacted several officials after she wrote her report with the attached recording of the situation. She'd done her best to appear calm, though responding to Liinara was not the orthodox method. But this way, she'd drawn out a lot more on how she viewed the Alliance, giving them a window into whatever was happening, blurry and small though it may have been.
She didn't really think that Calanii would have condoned this. Indeed, she might have just had her last diplomatic call ever. Assuming, of course, that the Sprilnav hadn't managed to chip him, too. If they had, though, the Alliance's situation would get bad fast. Luckily they were already at war with Aphid. Everything was already mobilized, and extra listening satellites in deep space had been set up. The last time the Vinarii Royal Navy had come to visit Humanity, they had not been ready. Perhaps now they were.
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Phoebe stood on the surface of Mercury, just underneath the great mass of the Mercury-class gun that had been built there. The first one that is. Now there were two great behemoths above her head, rising hundreds of meters into the sky. Not that Mercury really had a sky. Maybe someday, that would change.
For now, though, what mattered was the task at hand. The guns were already checked and cleared for firing. A small misalignment had destroyed a Charon-class gun in the past, so they were taking no chances with this. Now, the massive laser would serve its purpose. And, of course, the results would be live streamed.
The planet itself was a world almost covered in machinery. The atmosphere was toxic, filled with aerosols and gaseous industrial waste. There were no detectable life signs on it, whether they were communications, psychic emissions, or even just patches of warmth away from machinery. No subterranean life either, of any kind. Not even microbes had been spared from Aphid's apparent purge, if they had ever existed on this rock at all.
And Aphid's signature station designs orbited it also, whipping around its poisoned atmosphere at several miles a second. That was a sign that everyone on the planet, if there had ever been any, was dead.
A stream of ships poured in and out, guarded by a vast military fleet. In the Sol system, the amplifiers were powering up, and Brey was starting to form the outside of the portals she'd use for the guns, one on each side of the planet, at the equator. Her analysis had determined the areas in which opposite strikes would do the most damage. Phoebe had ensured to check for subterranean activity using Gaia's matter senses.
That had revealed large underground development areas, where presumably more of Aphid's mechanical drones were going to be made. Brey finished forming the portal as Phoebe took a last look at the spires of Aphid's world, ready to see how they'd do when the lasers hit.
She moved the stealth ships around the planet, continuing to watch the shield. It wasn't at full power, likely because Aphid wasn't expecting an attack. She didn't have a presence here in the mindscape, either. She was using far dumber programs as proxies across the Q-comms connections so that he could not detect a hint of anything wrong.
Combined with the Alliance's stealth technology, it would allow for a total surprise attack. Brey finished building up the portals in front of the guns, and Phoebe couldn't help but notice how deep the portals looked. They didn't seem like a flat plane like usual but had a sort of three-dimensionality to them this time. Interesting.
"Fire!" Phoebe ordered. Brey's avatar, which was standing beside an android back on Earth, grinned.
The barrels of the guns glowed cherry red, and vibrations radiated out from their heavily reinforced bases. Even with the android's solar shades, the light was still incredibly bright. Just from underneath it, the temperature was reaching almost 300 degrees. Just as she'd calculated.
On the other side of the portal, things got interesting. Brey's portal was invisible, but the energy coming from it was anything but. It almost looked like Aphid's planet was being impaled through a pole of pure white light. That light slammed down onto the planet's surface in three seconds, passing through the atmosphere as if it wasn't even there. Gaia stood beside the portals in the Sol system, blueshifting the light as much as possible. Instead of visible light, most of the weapon's energy, at least on the other side, was gamma. It was enough radiation to kill anything on the planet, for sure. Or to fry any electronic systems, such as a resident AI's servers.
The pure power of the two guns released a constant molten shockwave of a mix of vaporized rock, metal, and most other materials rushing outward. Buildings were snapped like twigs, their ends going flying but never landing. The heat melted others, and earthquakes in some areas that hadn't yet been struck by the spreading destruction were rampant.
The planet didn't explode or anything. The military ships that were far enough away to remain working just moved away, activating shields that fizzled out due to the intense energy beyond them. That energy would have destroyed Phoebe's android had Brey not used the portal to shield them as well. And as for her observation ships, their stealth coatings were quickly fried.
But the reinforced hulls were made specifically to withstand the effects of this for as long as possible. Cities of metal, all empty except for countless billions of drones wandering their streets, were wiped away. And then the portals began moving, shining around the equator. The effects spread and repeated, with the seas of methane catching fire before they, too, were vaporized in the path of the Mercury-class guns.
The atmosphere was boiled and stripped off the planet within hours. Most of the factories and foundries in the city were turned to either molten slag, collapsed by giant earthquakes, or vanished entirely. The devastation in the equatorial region was total. There was nothing left in a solid band 1500 miles wide around the equator of the planet, save for the broken bases of destroyed skyscrapers.
Further out, the damage was from earthquakes, snapped power lines, and broken pipes, as well as rubble that had fallen onto transport roads and collapsed tunnels. Alone, perhaps the problems could have been dealt with. But not together.
"Just to be sure," Brey asked. "You don't need the remains, right?"
"No. I will make what I need, that way I know it is safe," Phoebe replied, looking at Brey's avatar. It had the signature black fur of her empowered form, with red eyes and sharpened claws. The armor looked cool, as well.
"Alright. I'm going to go dump a few billion tons of plasma on it, then."
Phoebe smiled. "Alright. Have fun."
"I did. Good job on the guns. Get enough of those, and it'll be like the full Dyson swarm's hitting you in a straight line."
"That's the plan. The test was more than successful, and Aphid got a taste of the justice we deserve."
Next

"Get back to work."

Death

Created from the deepest void, the entity known as "Death" has existed since the dawn of time alongside his equals, Time and Life. His work in the universe started out as a small family business, reaping the souls of the living by his own bony hand over billions of years. But over time Death had grown weary and his scythe elbow had only gotten worse; that's when he had the brilliant idea to create the Sorrows, beings of death who would do the work for him, while he took his spot as CEO of Death Incorporated. Unfortunately, the Sorrows have begun to grow out of control and are more focused on reaping as many souls as possible, causing Death to literally become buried in paperwork. So it's time for Death to take up his loyal cloak, his magical Pitbook and his trusty scythe once more so he can remind the Sorrows whose in charge and take down the mysterious being who seeks to use his Sorrows to depose him as CEO of Death Incorporated.

Direct Feats

Strength

• Can break through walls with his weapons or by dashing through them.
  
• Can swing weapons that are bigger and heavier than his own body
  
• Can shatter the head of Rocksters which are solid stone
  

Durability

• Can tank a nuclear ballistic missile
  
• Is completely unharmed from a blast that destroys the Modern Warfare Department which is big enough to have its own artificial sky
  

Speed

• Can dodge RPG shots
  
• Can dodge bullets from machine guns
  
• Can temporarily outrun a ballistic missile
  
• Can dodge lightning from a living storm cloud
  

Scaling Feats

• Defeated the Natural Disaster Department's Sorrow, Catherine Immamura, who can cause solar winds, floods, and cause meteors to rain down with just a snap of her fingers
  
• Defeated Time who is powerful enough to destroy a being capable of manipulating a quantic distortion, which is an alternate timeline, with a wave of his hand
  
• Defeated Life who was created from infinite energy
  

Weapons

Death may have started his career with nothing more than his basic scythe and a handful of magic spells. but over the years he's expanded his repertoire of deadly weapons. What's more, Death has a variety of different scythes (and some non scythes) to choose as his main weapon due to its transformation feature. Though Death has countless weapons at his disposal, we only see 71 in the game. Every weapon also has its own Frenzy attack which is a super powerful move that is charged up as Death deals damage.

The Scythe:

His trusty blade that can cut through space, time, and the elements. Death can summon his blade by holding out his hand as it flies towards him or he can simply have it teleport to him. Death can also stand in place to charge up his energy for a powerful charge attack

• The Diss Scythe: A variation of the basic scythe that allows Death to attack from further away.
  
• Twinsie: A variation of the basic scythe that prioritizes power over speed due to its second blade.
  
• Sickles: A pair of sickles that allow Death to attack at higher speeds in exchange for less range.
  
• Billhooks: A pair of blades that Death can throw at enemies before they return to his hands just like a boomerang
  
• Parasol 1.0: An enchanted parasol that can not only stab through foes with brutal efficiency but can also act as a shield/deflector.
  
• Seletine: Has slower attack speed but by slamming the mace end into the ground, Death can boost the power of his next attack.
  

The Cloak:

A sentient flying cloak that prefers to stay wrapped around Death's shoulders, the cloak not only lets Death turn invisible but can also transform into a variety of deadly weapons. It even protects him from the elements.

• Behammorth: A powerful hammer that's bigger than Death himself that hits hard in exchange for its slow attack speed.
  
• Brutumhammer: An upgrade of the Behammorth that lets Death slam it into the ground, launching stones all around him.
  
• Shake Spear: A long range spear that Death uses to attack foes with a three-pronged combo.
  
• Jabelin: A spear that Death uses to launch himself forward towards enemies, impaling anyone in his way.
  
• Sisword: A blade that Death uses to quickly jump in the air before diving at foes at lightning speeds.
  
• Drageanor: The sister to the Sisword, this blade allows Death to launch sharp projectiles with each swing.
  
• Slaymore: A giant sword that Death swings as he jumps in the air before slamming it down on the ground.
  
• Slaygore: Similar in size to the Slaymore, the Slaygore allows Death to slam the blade into the ground and send out an electrical shockwave. Can also be used to launch projectiles when swung mid air.
  
• Whirl Daggers: A pair of poisoned blades that Death uses to stab anyone nearby.
  
• Daggust: Death uses powerful gusts of wind to move back and forth in a flurry of sharp blades.
  
• Kaze-Kunai: Death throws out pairs of rapid-fire daggers (that are sharper than any metal on the surface) in a straight line. Death can summon an unlimited amount of these weapons.
  
• Arashi-Kunai: Death summons half a dozen daggers in front of him before launching them in a straight line. Death can summon an unlimited amount of these weapons.
  
• Ferral Fists: A pair of powerful arms that crush whoever is between its giant hands.
  
• Raparrier: A rapier that Death uses to brutally stab anyone in front of him. Should anyone wield this object then they will be consumed by an unstoppable rage until they stab someone with this blade. Death is immune to this effect.
  
• Dirty Dagger: A small dagger that, if stabbed in the back, injects you with a metallic substance that attacks your vital organs.
  
• Rocket Launcher: A rocket launcher that holds a malicious soul within, amplifying its power.
  
• Revelation Bow: A deadly bow and arrow shot with extreme efficiency. Death can summon an unlimited amount of arrows.
  
• Fire Bow: Similar to the Revelation Bow but with a slight homing effect on its arrows. Death can summon an unlimited amount of arrows.
  
• Death Star: A vicious looking morning star that Death had made after almost getting into a fight with a strange, cloaked, old man who kept bragging about his new "secret" space base while at a seminar.
  
• Murray of Crows: Death summons a murder of crows to surround him, damaging anything nearby.
  
• Vampire Battery: Death electrocutes himself and anyone nearby while also shooting out electrified bats at random. Death is not harmed by this.
  
• Beasteel: Death summons spider-like limbs from his back before jumping onto nearby enemies. Can also shoot out projectiles when used mid air.
  
• Excavor: Giant steel blades surge out of the ground around Death, impaling anyone nearby.
  

Pitbook:

A fireproof, floating, magical book that is filled with all kinds of magical spells that Death has learned over the years. It follows Death around like a loyal dog and if opened by anyone else other than Death, the only text visible will read: "WOOF! WOOFWOOOF! GRRR!"

Each of Death's spells consume a portion of his max mana reserves that automatically fills back up unless fully drained in which case it refills after a few seconds. While he starts the game with a low amount of mana that can be increased with items, this appears to be a gameplay mechanic as he is described as being able to increase his mana reserves at will and far beyond what the game will allow with the Focus spell.

• Fire Arrow: A simple fireball spell.
  
• Dark Talons: Summons a clawed hand from a creature named Charlie that grabs foes and pulls them closer to Death.
  
• Explosion: Causes an explosion.
  
• Poisoned Gift: Death throws two balls of venom made up of all the venoms of every snake found on the surface, poisons excreted from all the most lethal spiders who have ever existed, and a hint of wild mint for flavor.
  
• Boomerang Hex: Death shoots curved pure mana that then comes back around like a boomerang. Can launch more than one at a time.
  
• Myriad of Stars: Death summons a handful of miniature stars that then fly forward.
  
• Shockwave: Death releases an energy wave all around him.
  
• Spitfire: Pitbook shoots out a trail of fire on the ground.
  
• Poison Mist: A poison cloud of gas so powerful that it can poison a being made of pure toxic sludge. Can summon more than one cloud at a time.
  
• Boulderain: Summons boulders out of thin air and rain down on enemies.
  
• Mordicine: Death ingests a pill that hurts him in exchange for increased damage.
  
• Sacrifix: Death deals slight damage to himself over a period of a few seconds in exchange for two cups of Koffee (healing items)
  
• Vladislaw: Heals Death but reduces his maximum health with each use.
  
• Aleistar: A magical time bomb.
  
• Dark Claws: Summons Charlie's claws to rip and tear at foes.
  
• Bees: Death summons a pair regular bees that chase after foes. Can summon more than one pair at a time.
  
• Moskillto: A pair of magically enhanced mosquitos that chase after foes. Can summon more than one pair at a time.
  
• Star Raving Mad: Summons a meteor shower to rain down on foes.
  
• Skyfall: Lightning bolts rain down in front of Death.
  
• Makeshift Rockets: Death shoots a magical firework that explodes on impact.
  
• Piercing Ray: Death shoots out beams of light that home in on foes.
  
• Spiteful Chomper: Summons one of Charlie's mouths that crawl forward, chomping on anything in their path. Can summon more than one at a time.
  
• Starry Halo: Summons two stars that temporarily spin around Death, damaging anything that comes near. Can summon more than one pair at a time.
  
• Firescreamer: Pitbook shoots out a stream of fire in front of Death.
  
• Soul Razor: Opens a vortex that damages enemies within while enhancing Death's damage.
  
• Focus: Temporarily increases Death's mana regeneration speed while also temporarily increasing his max health and mana reserves.
  
• Voracious Burst: A spell that lowers Death's maximum health in return for summoning a spectral mouth in front of Death that heals Death equal to the 15% damage dealt.
  
• Ganglion X-4: Summons spiked balls that can bounce around for a few seconds before disappearing. Can summon more than one at a time.
  
• Frostbreeze: Shoots out a freezing gust of wind that also inflicts Frozen which slows down foes
  
• EyeSeeYou: Summons one of Charlie's eyeballs that acts as a turret, shooting projectiles at an enemy before disappearing after a few seconds. Can summon more than one at a time.
  
• Wishtorm: Shoots down golden bolts of lightning powered by wish magic that can destroy every layer of reality.
  
• Frostoxic: Causes a bunch of ice spikes to shoot out of the ground.
  
• Tempus Abjuratum: Traps foes in a bubble of stopped time.
  
• Sepulchral Ray: Fires a beam of damaging purple energy that inflicts the Arcane effect which deals additional damage after five layers of arcane are applied to a foe.
  
• Troublecross: Shoots two rays of energy that move in a crisscross formation.
  
• Wizzalch Barrage: Brings down several lightning bolts on the foe's head.
  
• Tornadmin: Launches a Mach 2 cyclone at foes that is full of sharp edged papers.
  
• Lyberis Skulls: Summons exploding skulls around Death, damaging foes.
  
• Nihilaser: The strongest laser in Death's arsenal, it can destroy all forms of existence in the universe when used correctly.
  
• Anvilaunch: Death uses telekinesis to rip out one ton's worth of metal from the ground and throws it at foes while it's in the shape of an anvil.
  
• Void Rift: Tears a hole in the fabric of reality above a foe's head as several of Charlie's fists come flying through, smashing anything beneath them.
  

Miscellaneous Powers

• Time Travel: Various weapon lore entries make mention of Death's ability to travel through time and space at will.
  
• Healing: Death can heal 15% of his total health with the use of bursts of life essence called Animas. Death can only hold three of them at a time.
  
• Resurrection: Death is never the end for this CEO and if his body should ever be destroyed then Death will reappear right back at his desk, ready to give it the old college try once again.
  
• Head Removal: Death can remove his head without issue.
  
• Damaging Non-Physical Beings: It's no surprise that Death can attack ghosts, but he's also capable of hurting and killing living fire, living water and living clouds as well
  
• Resistance To Time Manipulation: Time's own time stop attack can only hold Death for a few seconds
  
• Dashing makes him immune to damage, allowing him to dash through enemies and attacks
  
• Can float above the ground
  

Curses

Death can also gain various curses which (despite the name) amplify his stats, scythe, cloak, magic, or give him new abilities outright. As there are 243 curses available, I will only be including those that aren't reliant on gameplay mechanics and can be translated into lore (such as a curse that doubles defense) and will only include the best version of a curse (meaning that if there is a curse that triples Death's damage then I will not post a curse that only doubles his damage).

• And My Axe!: Every time Death uses a Cloak based weapon, an axe is launched from his cloak.
  
• Knave of Swords: Summons a small flying scythe that moves around Death.
  
• Praised Be The Bombcloak!: Every time Death uses a Cloak based weapon, a bomb is launched from his cloak.
  
• MC Scythe: Death can ignore pain while attacking.
  
• Astral Claws: Every few seconds, the foe (or a random foe if there is more than one) will be attacked by invisible claws.
  
• Soul Sucker: After taking damage, a percentage of any damage that Death deals in the next two seconds is gained as health.
  
• Tyrannical Boss: After taking damage, the next attack that Death lands deals 200% more damage
  
• Social Toxicity: All of Death's attacks inflict poison on foes.
  
• Burning Up: Death's attacks burns foes.
  
• Perish The Thought...: Death's attacks inflict Frozen on foes, slowing them down.
  
• Millanima Eye: Death gains two extra Anima slots.
  
• Burn-Out Channeling: Being damaged increases the Frenzy gauge.
  
• A Spoonful Of Suger: Every attack has a 10% chance of freezing an enemy in time. Both this curse and Tempus Abjuratum are strong enough to work on Time himself.
  
• Anima Lambic: Consuming an Anima grants Death temporary regeneration.
  
• Eye For An Eye: Being damaged grants Death temporary regeneration.
  
• Tooth For A Tooth: Being damaged grants Death a 30% chance of gaining an Anima.
  
• Straw Helm: Doubles Death's defense.
  
• Animoolah: Golden Animas fully heal Death.
  
• Corvus Nefas: Being damaged launches crows towards the nearest foe.
  
• Flash Of Brilliance: Every attack causes the target to be struck by lightning.
  
• Conflagrations: Using a spell causes explosions to appear around Death.
  
• Iranima: Using an Anima fills up Death's Frenzy bar by 50%.
  
• Crow Cover: Using a spell launches crows towards the nearest foe.
  
• Imminent Burnout: The Cloak periodically launches crows towards the nearest foe.
  
• Social Security: Death is invincible for one second after taking damage.
  
• Imminent Reverie: Death periodically creates another Anima.
  
• Zeus's Wrath: Being damaged causes the foe to be struck by lightning.
  
• Static Electricity: Using a Cloak based weapon causes the nearest foe to be struck by lightning.
  
• Stroke of Luck: Death will survive a fatal attack as long as he's not one hit away from death. This effect will continue as long as this is the case.
  

Now that as an employee you know everything there is to know about the CEO himself it is high time that you got to work filtering souls for the great beyond. So swallow your feelings and put on a smile because the first day of the end of your life begins...now.
Welcome To The Afterlife

For clearity the oc is from a fanfiction based on Sicario/sicario: Day of the Soldado and takes place after the movie ends
It has been a few years since Alejandro’s death, and I was doing my best to cope with it, as I couldn’t waste away because of it. The government wouldn’t let me even if I wanted to. Instead, I went into the FBI as a new field agent wannabe. I had special treatment due to my ‘ability’ and field history, so I was placed in a different room than the others.
I sat at the center table, straight and unwavering as any agent should be, awaiting further instruction. It was only when I heard the doorknob turn that I allowed my attention to waver. “Ah, you chose the table instead of the couch in the corner.” Said a deep male voice as he closed the door behind him. “As an agent you are to keep on your guard at all times. Comfort too easily allows your guard to drop unconsciously.” I said.
“Very true, but we haven’t even begun.” He said. “No matter. My name is Harold Cooper I am the Assistant director for counter terrorism in the FBI.” he said, extending his hand towards mine. I took it, and gave a firm handshake in return. “My name is Adeline Smith.” I replied. “Pleasure.” Harold said as he sat across from me, opening a thick file folder in front of him.
He took his time reading some parts and turned past many pages. “You have quite the...history with working on the field. A lot more than we came to expect. Good for you.” He said as he was still reading further. “Thank you.” I said curtly. I watched his expression shift and his eyes briefly dart towards me in curiosity before turning them back to the page. “I find some of this...a little disbelieving.” He said.
“Lemme guess, the whole “I can shapeshift” part?” I said, sighing. Harold sat up again, and thought for a moment, his hands under his chin. “Give me a reason to believe it.” He said. I sighed under my breath. “Seeing as I didn’t write my own file, is there any reason for another person of high authority to lie on it?” I offered. “You make a valid point, and one, if I wasn’t so interested to see it I would have accepted. But seeing as I am now curious, I would like to see a demonstration.” He said as he motioned towards the open space in the room. “Don’t worry, there are no windows or cameras in this room so no one else will see.”
That came with little comfort as I got up and shook myself out in preparation. I kneeled down and slowly felt movement under my skin. After many years of having to do this transformation, it became painless and I could hardly feel any of it. Silence filled the room, safe for the cracking and forming of bones and teeth and fur. Once the transformation was complete, I turned to look at the bewildered expression of Harold who looked like a child seeing anything for the first time.
“Y-y-you can still understand me right?” He asked, as he changed his seated position to talk down to me. I rolled my eyes slightly and nodded my large canine head. “Good…” He said, before regaining his former status. “You will begin as the FBI’s...guard dog. I don’t usually say this but you will be working with a Blacklisted criminal and for reasons that should come as no surprise, we need extra...protection so to speak. Feel free to listen in on everything as well. You are apart of this team after all. You do not have to stay in… this form forever, but I request that you stay in this form as long as you are present to the criminal...for now.” He explained.
I nodded and stood there, waiting for my next task as he finished up with the file. “I know you are wondering and it is just that your young appearance would most likely prompt unwanted banter between you and him, and, not knowing how you deal with that sort of thing yet, I would rather stick with safe than sorry.” He explained as he stood up. “I think you are trained well enough that I don’t need to buy a dog leash for you.” He chuckled.
I let out a rough growl and he dropped it. “We will need to place a leash on you whilst we are in public though, no matter how uncomfortable it is.” He said which I fully expected. I nodded as I followed him out of the door. In the hallway he began to brief me on the situation at hand.
“Recently, Raymond has asked to see a specific person who we didn’t even know yet. Agent Keen. She is scheduled to interview so to speak raymond. I want you to be there with her. Listen to them talk, watch body language, that type of thing. Any hostility from him, remind him that you are dangerous. Remember, he can’t physically do anything to you, he is heavily and securely restrained, but you won’t be. He is a well-trained manipulator, keep that in mind.” Harold said as he walked us into another room, where another woman was sitting patiently waiting.
There were other agents seated in the room as well, but the room was silent. All eyes went from Harold, then to me. But I sat next to Harold’s desk and listened. It was like my interview a bit, a little deeper though. And after a handshake and congratulations, she was in as well. She glanced at me many times. “Sir, why is there a canine unit here if I may ask? Is there some sort of...Bomb threat or something?” She asked.
“No, she is here for overall protection, as are the guns. She will be going in with you when you talk with Raymond. She is an excellent judge for body language and can detect hostility from a mile away when some people cannot.” Harold said, giving me a look that told me that he had set the bar for me to reach and surpass.
“Of course, I have a dog of my own. They sense things we cannot.” Agent Keen said as she smiled down at me. “Alright, if you are settled, two agents will also accompany you there. Good luck.” Harold said as he opened the secured door and we were led out into the wide open space.
I walked closely behind Agent Keen and smelled around. Nervousness was coming from almost every agent except one person. Oddly, I was getting no nervousness from the criminal himself. I was getting Excitement. The encagement around Raymond was getting removed as Agent Keen and I were walking up and I could feel the look of the criminal on me.
“Ah, I’m touched. I warrant a K-9 unit. What is it? A german shepard mix of some sort?” He asked, before making a kissy sound, attempting to grab my attention. “What she is, is not important. You asked for me, I am here.”
“Agent Keen, what a pleasure.” Raymond said, with a smirk playing on his lips. I could tell Agent Keen was not accustomed to this sort of job and she was doing a good job of hiding her anxiety. Raymond continued on with ‘proving he knew her’ by commenting on physical changes to her looks. I let out a deep growl to get him back on track.
To my surprise, he didn’t seem startled or taken aback, but his attention switched and his mouth paused long enough for Agent keen to ask a question. “Tell me about Zamani.” She said,
With a deep sigh, Raymond opened his mouth again. “Within the hour, Ranko Zamani will abduct the daughter of U.S. General Daniel Ryker. There'll be some kind of diversion, communications will be scrambled, then he'll grab the girl. He wants to be out of the country within 36 hours. If you don't move quickly, she will die. That's what I know.” When he finished, silence came into the room. We were afraid of how serious to take this, despite how detailed his tale was.
“How do you know this?” Agent keen asked, afraid of the answer. And for good reason. “Because I am the one who got him in the country.” For a while, there was silence. Agent Keen looked from me then back to Redington. “And we are supposed to believe you?” She asked incredulously. I flattened my ears in caution. Despite how forward he was being, I didn’t think this was a matter to take lightly.
“Of course not! I am a criminal. We criminals are notorious liars. Everything about me is a lie. We only lie, until it is strategic for us not to.” He said. “I know so much more about you than anyone else in this facility. I mean, you’re an open book. Abandoned by a father who was a career criminal, a mother who died of weakness and shame. And yet here you are, about to make a name for yourself, about to capture Ranko Zamani. I am going to make you famous, Lizzy.” He said with the widest, smuggest smile.
I let out a growl and pulled on the leash to say, “we are done”. And agent Keen soon followed as Raymond was being locked up once again. I could feel the anxiety dripping off of her as I rushed her inside, closely followed by pairs of armed guards. “How did he know those things?” She cried hysterically.
Harold looked confused to say the least. But she pushed her point that they needed to take the threat as it was. A threat. Before she left the room, on the verge of tears. I looked to harold and, seeing as he had no orders for me right then, I went to follow. By the time I got out there, she was already on the phone, so I silently sat beside her as she seemed to be discussing...adoption?
“Put on a great show there. You better pull yourself together because you just called in the cavalry.” Agent Ressler said as he walked swiftly around. Jealousy and attitude lacing his tone. I let out a shrill bark and a growl, flattening my tail. He jumped and seemed to slow down. “Can I just have one minute?”
“We don’t have a minute. Come on.” Ressler said. I left Agent Keen to finish her phone call up and hurried up to Ressler. “Don’t you growl at me.” He said, looming over me, trying to intimidate me. My hackles rose and I bared my teeth and growled. He raised his hand to give me a swat when Harold grabbed his arm. “You will not lay a hand on her.”
Donald gave me a glare that said all that was necessary, but he left to board the car. Harold also gave me a stern glance as he pointed to the car as well. Luckily, Donald was in a different car and I watched Agent Keen sit next to me. The ride was silent and swift as we made it to a ballet school of dance. “Gotta be on your best behavior, bud.” Agent Keen said as she looked down at me and patted my head. “Don’t want to frighten the children.”
I followed close behind as Agent Keen and the rest of the guards and agents walked towards the practice space. Agent Keen told me to stay with Donald while she went to fetch the kid. It didn’t take long, to no surprise, but as soon as she saw me, she screamed. “Puppy!” And ran towards me.
I stayed perfectly still as she rushed over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Puppy is going to come with us! Let’s go for a car ride.” Agent Ressler said, patting my head. I sighed. He better not get used to this.
I laid in the back with the girls on the floor, getting gently petted by the little girl. Elizabeth was gently talking to the girl. “What’s the doggie’s name?” The girl asked.
Elizabeth looked to me and then back at the girl. “I don’t know, they never told me.” she responded by patting my head. Just then the cars were called to a stop. I raised my head. “Construction, we have to reroute.” Donald radioed in.
We started pulling around when out of nowhere, a truck plowed directly into our side door. I covered the child as I leapt up and put my body in between the car and the girl, just as gunfire began. This was the diversion Reddington was talking about. I leapt out of the broken window to assess the situation.
It was a gongshow. Trucks everywhere, disguised as dirt loaders carrying men with guns instead. They were pouring gasoline on the road as men in yellow hazmat suits shot at the vehicles. From the voices I could hear, they were speaking russian. These were definitely Zamani’s men.
I lunged at the men, taking their attention away only briefly getting kicked away shortly. That only made me angry. As I got up, a shot ran through my shoulder and I got knocked out. When my consciousness came back, the child was gone and so were the men.
When I fully came to, Agent Keen was running her hands down my back and telling me it was gonna be okay. I was no longer on the bridge, I was back at headquarters being rushed to the infirmary.
Harold was there of course. “I’ll take it from here, you need to pry Reddington’s mind for more information. There is something he’s not telling us.”
I looked at Harold as Agent Keen left. Once the people in the infirmary got the bullet out, he brought me to a secure office. “I need you to tell me what happened.”
I took a deep breath as I began shifting back to my original form. “They gassed the car but gave the child a gas mask.” I began.
“Then they’re not planning on killing her. Not yet at least. Which means we got time. This was just a diversion just like Reddington said.” Harold said, thinking. “What does he want?”
Just then, Donald knocked on the door before walking right in. We both looked to the door. “I think the meaning of knocking is to wait until you are given permission, Agent Ressler.”
“I’m sorry sir but Reddington wants to look at the evidence… to help. Who’s she?” He said, looking at me briefly.
“An agent, you don’t know everyone on the force” He said briefly. Donald dropped it and walked back out, giving me one last look.
“We will properly introduce you soon, but in the meantime, come out once you’re, well… a dog.” He said.
I felt relieved this wasn’t going to be too permanent and began the transformation once more. Harold placed a sling around my injured leg and we walked out. He gave the order to release Reddington into standard handcuffs as he was being led into the evidence room.
When I got there he was already getting touchy with the evidence photograph. No one was happy with this but we were making progress so they let him. I was listening, understanding even less of it but I was sure I was going to be enlightened soon enough.
They soon figured out the motive. Revenge for a bombing with another bomb in D.C. Reddington finally caved and told us about the chemist and such, only after getting a deal to be released under supervision.
“You will be watching Reddington closely.” Harold told me. I cocked my head. “You will act as his dog. We can't put an agent in here, but we can bring you. Listen to everything he says, especially when he meets Zamani.”
I couldn’t say I didn’t see this coming. “Come, we have to drop you both off.”
We went back to Reddington. “Reddington, this k-9 unit will accompany you, and to anyone outside of the FBI, she is your dog.” Harold said, giving my leash to him.
“Lovely, it's been years since I had one. I’ll be sure to take good care of her.” He said, looking down at me with a smile. I averted my gaze but my hackles were raised.
“Play nice you two.” Agent Ressler said.
I rolled my eyes and my few days as Reddington’s dog was rather uneventful. Of course they put cameras in his hotel room and were practically right there if need be. However, this wasn’t exactly what I signed up for. Over the course of the day, he would randomly feed me table scraps, and make me food which was… more than I expected him to do, but maybe he was just holding up his part of the deal.
In fact they were right next door. They gave me a break as I needed one rather badly and I went with Agent Keen to get fresh air. She was going home to see her husband and she told me to play nice with her other dog. The drive wasn’t long and Agent Keen spoke to me about the adoption and her husband along the way.
When we arrived, I had a sense that something was wrong. I could smell someone else. Someone I hadn’t met yet. I slid my way in before Keen and sniffed. There were balloons on the ceiling and a baby basket. She had come in moments after and began celebrating, and I sculked around the house, smelling the trail of the stranger.
“You’re probably smelling my husband, it’s alright.”
That's when I wandered down the hall and walked straight into a man. Not just any man. Zamani. “How many dogs does she have?” He said before grabbing me and shoving me into a room and closing the door behind him. Inside the room there was another dog. I growled and barked at the door to no avail. I could smell blood, and soon the shriek of Keen led me to believe she found the source, no doubt her husband.
I was fighting against transforming and going out but remembered that Keen was an Agent herself and should know the protocol. I could barely hear their conversation so I sat and waited at the door, growling every once in a while. Keen’s original dog came to sniff but overall did nothing.
I heard more screaming, and then I heard footsteps. Agent keen was talking but the man had seemingly left. She was on the phone. “Agnes! Where are you?” That's when I noticed, the dog’s name. I barked along with her behind the closed door and she rushed to open it.
“You probably smelt him…” She sighed, rubbing my shoulders. “And then bumped into him while searching huh, girl?”
I whined, looking at the mess he made of her husband. I couldn’t do anything about it. Emergency vehicles were pulling up, and I watched as they took him into the ambulance. I went with keen to much dismay of the doctors who normally wouldn’t allow dogs inside. I placed my head on Keen’s lap as she stroked Tom’s hand while sedated and in a coma.
“We got to make a visit to Reddington.” She said before we both left the hospital.
Once back at the hotel, I followed Keen as she stormed into Reddington’s room and began demanding answers. As she was yelling, she began attacking Raymond as she punctured his carotid artery. Angrily she walked away and took me with her back home.
Once the FBI were done taking crime scene photos, she was told she was allowed to begin cleaning the mess that had just taken place. She cleaned a little but passed out on the floor. I slept beside her, keeping her company. In the morning she continued cleaning to little or no avail.
Agent keen gave up on cleaning for the time being and told me we had to go to the hospital once again but this time, to talk to reddington who was thankful for the investigation, was still alive and in stable condition. I was not allowed in the hospital this time, and with that came the play of a lifetime.
I saw Reddington scaling the wall and began running after him. “Oh, you’re here…I thought you were still with Agent Keen. No matter, come. I have to meet with an old friend.”
I had an inkling of who he meant and got a little nervous but I felt that Reddington wouldn’t let anything happen to me. I followed him to the Lincoln memorial where he sat next to Zamani.
“That dog… was at Keen’s place. Are you a double agent, my friend?” he said, looking at me briefly.
“Ah no matter, my dog must have followed her home.” He said as if it was nothing. “If I was with the FBI do you think I’d be walking around without a chaperone?” He said.
Zamani gave me a look then returned his focus to his friend. “It is only a dog, I guess. Dog’s cannot speak.”
I followed them as they walked by normal civilians who were none the wiser of the criminal’s true identity. I tried to listen as best I could but they spoke softly in hushed voices. Once Zamani and Reddington split ways, reddington called Agent keen.
They spoke for a few minutes before he turned to me. “Now, I need you to go to the zoo and meet Agent Keen. It isn’t far from here, just up there and turn right. She’s gonna need your sense of smell to find the girl.”
The girl was alive, so before I could question taking orders from him, I rushed using the directions he gave me. Sure enough I caught up with Agent Keen. “There you are. Now,” she said, taking off the bracelet the little girl gave her. “It might be faint but it should still be there. Find her.” She said.
She and I rushed into the zoo, my nose to the grindstone as I found it surprisingly enough. She recognized me clearly. “Puppy!” She cried as she knelt down to hug me. I barked and howled to try and alert Keen. I kept the child distracted as agent keen looked at the backpack the child was wearing.
Keen backed away and called Reddington. Apparently he already knew of this and had alerted his bomb friend to stop it. He came about 45 seconds later. Agent keen instructed the girl to keep focusing on me, and I played a good sport as she hugged me tightly around the collar.
A russian exclamation was all we heard when the bomb was dismantled safely as the man left and took off with the now dismantled bomb. “I see you found the girl in the nick of time” Reddington said as he soon joined us.
That was all he could utter before several agents; FBI and others started running into the park.
“Daddy!” the little girl cried as she ran off to her father who had joined swiftly after hearing his daughter had been located. “The doggy helped find me!” She said, gesturing. The General for that was his ranking, came over and shook Keen’s hand, thanking her for helping his daughter before bending down and pinned his badge of bravery on my collar. I was shocked and went to lick his face.
“She’s a brave one. If she hadn’t followed her scent we wouldn’t have found her in time.” Keen said, rubbing my ears.
“If only we all had the scent of a dog. I can’t believe how relieved and thankful I am to you two.” He said, patting my head and shaking my paw.
We cleaned up and went back to headquarters, discussing Reddington’s own list of criminals. Essentially he was planning on revealing them one by one for an ever growing immunity deal. I laid down at Harold’s feet, still wearing the General’s metal on my collar.
Once we were done there, Harold told me to go home with Elizabeth as we were going to be working together a lot from now on. I happily got into her car as she drove home. She almost seemed to forget the mess that was still half cleaned in her dinning room.
I continued smelling around, the reak of blood still roominating. Until i smelt something else… underneath. I began digging at the carpet, lifting it up and Elizabeth and I both saw a little hatch on the floor.
Upon opening it, there was a small wooden box. Elizabeth looked confused as she slowly opened it, revealing bundles of 10,000 dollars, passports, and a gun… all seeming to belong to her husband.
She furrowed her brow and sighed. “What is happening?”
This is a work in progress

Hello all. I have written here before about my job at Ultima Resort (1,2,3,4,5,6,7), though I know it has been a while, sorry about that. We were trapped for some time, my phone died pretty quickly, and I wasn’t able to recharge it again until the water receded. So, I haven’t really been able to write. But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me get you up to date, then it will all make more sense.
I opened a door and peered into the closet, but the noise was quieter here, if anything. I shut the closet and continued down the hallway. The dripping had started out intermittent. The gentle plip, plip, plip was barely audible over the normal sounds of the hotel, and we had assumed it was related to the steady rain that had been drumming on the building for a few days, at that point. But the frequency of the dripping had been increasing steadily, and now was concerningly loud and constant. It was somehow audible from every corner of the hotel, and it was only a matter of time until the guests complained. They were already irritable because of the bad weather, which had kept them stuck indoors. As I passed a window, a flash of lightning lit the forest behind the hotel. The lights flickered ominously but it stayed on. The clap of thunder rattled the doors in their frames. I spotted Vincent hurrying towards me from down the hall. His face seemed pale.
“Well, did you find the leak?” I asked.
“Umm… you could say that,” he replied, uncomfortably, eyes shifting to the storm outside.
“What’s wrong?”
“It… well, you should just come see.”
I followed him down the hall to the ballroom where we had hosted the anniversary party some days back. It had been a nice event. Less deaths than I had expected. The hors d’oeuvres were pretty good. There was still a bit of smoke damage on the west wall, but we had cleaned it off as best as we could and the place looked presentable again, though I was now thinking we should put on a new coat of paint. It was hard to decide, when I wasn’t sure if the room would even be here next week. Vincent opened the door on the back wall and gestured me inside. This was new.
It was some sort of small storage cupboard, with dim lighting and a low ceiling. It was full of what looked like furniture, draped in white cloths for storage. I wondered what the furniture was made of, because the room had a strange fetid odor, that reminded me of rot and death. I covered my nose with my hand instinctively, but it did little to help. The small window in the back showed that the rain continued to fall outside, but it didn’t seem to be the source of the leak, as the floor around it was dry. Still, the leak must be in here, because the sound was louder than ever. I took a step forward, to get a better look at the room, but Vincent grabbed my arm and pulled me back, pointing towards the ceiling. I looked up to see a large dome light. It had a strange dark tint, and hardly any light made it through. But something else was coming from the dome. Drips fell in a steady rhythm, and as my eyes tracked them, I saw them splash into a widening puddle on the ground. The puddle was viscous and black, glimmering in the dim light. I looked back at Vincent.
“What is that?” I raised an eyebrow. “It doesn’t really look like ordinary water to me.”
“I don’t know. Maybe… it is picking something up as it drips through from the roof?” he did not sound particularly convincing.
“Maybe,” I tried to play along. “Though, I am not sure I want to know what that could be. Did you check if it is coming from somewhere upstairs?”
“Yeah. Nothing out of the ordinary on the floor above, and I can’t find any signs of a leak anywhere else.”
“Alright,” I backed out of the door and closed it behind us. “Well, I am sure whatever that is will work itself out.”
“What? We’re just going to leave it? Why did we even bother looking, then?” Vincent protested.
“I was worried it was a roof leak, something we needed to handle with routine maintenance. That does not seem to be the case,” I raised a questioning eyebrow. “Do you know how to fix whatever is going on in there?”
“No…”
“Me neither. In this place, when the ceiling is dripping black ichor, it is probably for a reason. I assume we’ll find out when one of our guests gets involved.”
Vincent opened his mouth, as if to protest, but even as he did, the sound of the phone at the desk echoed through the hotel. Vincent sighed,
“Alright, let’s go see what fresh hell awaits us today.”
I heard a small chuckle inside my head. I resisted the urge to ask Al what he knew. He answers were rarely helpful. He didn’t seem to lie, but he was often intentionally misleading, saying whatever he thought would elicit the most drama. I was tired of giving him the satisfaction. I was sure I could sense his disappointment when I refused to engage, but maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part. I couldn’t blame Vincent for being apprehensive about what the guests’ inquiry might be. The three men had arrived to participate in some sort of golf event, but they been here for 3 days now and since it had poured every moment, the event was not taking place. The guests were very unhappy about this turn of events, and they had mostly been killing time by taking it out on us. That wasn’t exactly a surprise. The rich ones were always the most demanding, unused to being told ‘no’ even when the question was ‘has the rain stopped yet?’, and based on the Bugatti they had arrived in, these men were quite rich. I answered the phone on the desk, already suppressing a sigh.
“Ultima Resort, front desk, how can I help you?”
“You can come and open the bar,” the voice on the other end snapped. “It’s past noon and the sign says it should be available by now.”
“I apologize, sir. I’ll be right there.”
“You had better be. The service at this place is frankly astounding. Honestly, I don’t understand why anyone ever stays here. I have half a mind to leave a review warning people away.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I know your stay hasn’t been ideal, but please bear with us and we will do everything we can to make it right.”
“You can start by hanging up the phone and getting me my drink.”
The line went dead in my hand. I sighed and replaced the phone on the cradle.
“Let me guess, they wanted to give us a large tip and leave early?”
“Don’t quit your day job,” I chuckled. “You wouldn’t make it as a psychic. Come on, let’s go open the bar, before we have a mutiny on our hands.”
I grabbed the key to open the shutters from the desk and we headed into the dining room. Our three guests were standing around the locked bar, making a show of checking their watches. I struggled to keep my eyes from rolling. It was 12:03pm.
“You know,” Jack turned to the man next to him, but spoke loudly enough to be sure I could hear. “This reminds me of some of the dumps we stayed in before we made our fortune, you know? The little rat trap motels in the port towns we had to stay in.”
“The customer service certainly leaves something to be desired, for a 5-star resort,” his companion, Stewart, sniffed. “For the amount we are paying, I would expect better.”
I turned the lock, opening the bar. I let them vent; I didn’t particularly care if they left us a bad review, and I certainly couldn’t do anything with a good tip, so they were free to hate it here if they wanted. It mattered less to me than they could possibly imagine.
“Can you both hear that leak from your rooms?” the final man, Lesley, asked.
“Can we? I swear it is audible from everywhere in the hotel. There must be a dozen leaks in this old roof,” Jack laughed.
“It would explain that,” Stewart gestured to wet stain on the carpet across the room, oozing out from under a door I didn’t remember being there yesterday.
I glanced over to Vincent, he shrugged,
“I guess we’ve got a new connection to the ballroom. That’s kind of handy,” he said quietly to me, stepping behind the bar and reaching for the rum to pour; it was all they ever ordered.
“That’s another thing that reminds me of the old days,” Jack elbowed Lesley. “You would think a landlocked hotel would be drier than a yacht, but here we are. Maybe you should get out a mop, see if you remember how, Les.”
Lesley stiffened,
“I don’t do menial labor anymore, Cap.”
“Of course, of course,” Jack clapped Les on the shoulder. “Just a joke, mate. The usual, my good man,” he smiled at Vincent, who began pouring drinks.
As day transitioned into evening, I left the dining room in search of absorbent material, to put down on the leak that was spreading persistently into the dining room. I found some cat litter in a back closet, and it seemed like it would do, for now, so I returned and began spreading it over the growing stain. Jack at the bar looked up blearily, watching my work, before finally declaring,
“Oh, so it’s shit, then. That would at least explain the smell.”
“I think it smells more like a rotting carcass,” Stewart interjected.
He had a point there. Maybe I should get some baking soda from the kitchen.
“You know what?” Jack concluded. “Let’s get this next bottle to go. We’ll take it to our rooms for the night. I can’t stand the smell down here another minute.”
He grabbed the bottle from the bar, then he rose and led his friends out of the dining room. I couldn’t say I was sorry to see them go. Vincent circled out from around the bar and approached the soggy patch on the floor.
“So, is that the storage room?”
Now that we were alone, I risked turning the knob and I opened the door to see the same storage room we had entered earlier, though now the light fixture was pouring dark liquid onto the floor, the drip having turned into a deluge. I slammed the door again.
“Maybe we should get Manny,” I concluded.
Manny stood back, watching the ichor pour down like a waterfall. It was pooling around our shoes now, even standing outside the doorframe. He stroked his chin,
“How long has it been like this?”
“I don’t know,” I frowned. “It’s certainly sped up since we found it several hours ago. Any idea how we stop it?”
Manny closed his eyes for a moment, then frowned.
“I think, perhaps, that we should move the food and water from the kitchen, so they don’t get spoiled.”
“Move them where?” Vincent asked.
“To the top floor storage closet. It’ll be safest there. Come help me gather things up.”
“What, exactly, do you think is going to happen?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Let’s just get to work, we probably don’t have much time.”
Manny turned and strode into the kitchen. Vincent hung back and tapped my shoulder,
“What does he know that we don’t?”
“I have no idea, honestly,” I shrugged, and Vincent headed off towards the kitchen. “Do you know?”
I kept my voice low, so the others didn’t hear.
Oh, are you speaking to me now? Al sniffed.
“Depends, are you going to say anything useful?”
Perhaps for a…
“If you say ‘for a price’ we can go back to not talking. I am not trading anything for this.”
I think you will find I am much more helpful if you are willing to make a trade.
“I categorically disagree with that statement.”
Fine, I could feel him scowling. I can give you a hint for free. Maybe try asking yourself what he’s hiding from you?
“Your free hint is that he is keeping secrets?” I raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that true of all of us? That isn’t exactly helpful.”
Well then, perhaps you would like to make a trade?
“Why do I even bother?” I sighed and headed into the kitchen to join the others.
Vincent was helping Manny load food onto a rolling cart. The Chef was, fortunately, nowhere in sight.
“Grab another cart and start loading the soft drinks and bottled water onto it. We don’t have much time before we need to be in our rooms,” Manny instructed.
I heaved a case of bottled water onto the cart, and we all got to work. By the time we made the final trip the carpet in the hall squished under my feet, oozing dark, foul-smelling liquid. It was coming in fast, now. Manny was probably right; we wouldn’t want the food supplies getting contaminated with… whatever this was. After he finished stacking the last bag of rice in the closet, Manny closed the door and turned the key in the lock.
“Well, we should find our rooms. It is getting late, and I doubt they will be in their usual place.”
As he turned to walk away, I noticed blood dripping down from his fingers onto the carpet.
“Manny, wait, your arm,” I pulled up his sleeve to reveal a thin, but deep cut running up his forearm. “What happened? Are you alright?”
Manny yanked his arm away,
“It’s nothing. I must have scraped it moving a box.”
It didn’t look like a scrape. It looked clean, with sharp edges, like a knife wound. But before I could say anything more, he was gone, disappearing down one of the halls.
“You ever wonder about him?” Vincent asked.
“Wonder what?”
“What his deal is. Come on, don’t play dumb. You’ve noticed how strange he can be. How he seems to know things about this place he shouldn’t. Surely, you’ve considered that he might be… one of them.”
“One of them?”
“You know, one of the things that run this place, like the Chef. A demon.”
“Manny? No, that’s ridiculous.”
“Why? He was here before you, maybe he was always here.”
“He is nothing like the Chef or the Masseur. It’s obvious that he is a person.”
“Is it? Maybe that’s just another trick. Maybe he is here to torment us, to steer us wrong.”
I shook my head,
“No, he’s helped us, helped me, many times. It’s impossible.”
“Alright,” Vincent shrugged. “But I have a bad feeling about this one, Lucy. Something about that… water. It isn’t right.”
“You always have a bad feeling. Come on, it’s time to get to sleep.”
“Right. See you tomorrow.”
However he knew, Manny was right. I found my room on the 2nd floor, in a back hallway. Since it wasn’t in its usual place, it took longer to find, but I did manage it before the deadline and locked myself in. Somehow, I could still hear the sound of flowing water, though. I could hear it everywhere in the hotel, in fact. In a way, it was soothing, people liked the sound of flowing water, right? So, keeping that in mind, I allowed it to lull me to sleep.
The morning arrived without fanfare, or a discernable difference in the light coming in through the windows. The storm continued to rage outside, and the clouds were so thick and dark that it was impossible to tell that dawn had broken. Still, my watch told me that day had arrived and so I left the room prepared to mop up whatever water had pooled downstairs and try to serve breakfast. No food had appeared in my room last night, so breakfast sounded very appealing. At least I could sneak a muffin or something. As I arrived at the stairs, I saw Manny standing on the landing, gazing down at the lobby.
“Is the mess bad?” I asked.
“You could say that,” Manny didn’t turn as I approached.
I reached the railing and gasped. The lobby was gone. The whole first floor was gone. All I could see was dark water, lapping against the stairs.
“How is that possible?”
“That’s not really a relevant question, in this place,” Manny noted. “Let’s just call it a flash flood.”
I jogged over to look out one of the windows, lightning flashed, illuminating an alien view, the lawn and garden were also gone. The only thing in sight was a sea of dark water, with the occasional tree protruding from the surface.
“What do we do now?” I asked.
“What we always do. Vincent has headed upstairs to lay out some food. We can help him, then lock up the rest and go clean rooms.”
“And if the water keeps rising?”
“We keep moving up the floors, I suppose.”
I stepped down the stairs until I was next to the water, and reached out a hand to touch the surface, wanting to test its temperature and texture.
Stop!
I froze in place, hand hovering above the liquid, the command so urgent I couldn’t ignore it. Trying to act casually, I rose and headed back up the stairs,
“Alright, I’ll go help with breakfast. Maybe we should put up a sign directing the guests to the 5th floor?”
“I’ll handle that. We will have to ration the food carefully; we don’t know how long we will need to make it last. Whatever you do, don’t show the guests where the food is locked up, and only bring out enough for us to have a small meal.”
“Right,” I nodded. “See you up there.”
I turned and headed up the stairs. I waited until I was out of earshot to ask,
“Ok, what was that about?”
Do not touch the water.
“Yes, I gathered that. Why?”
Because you belong to me. And I need you alive.
“What is the deal with that water, exactly?”
But only silence answered. He was done volunteering things for the moment, apparently. I sighed and continued up the stairs. Vincent was waiting for me on the fifth floor, hovering by the landing, looking down over the dark, gleaming surface of the new lake below.
“Have you ever seen anything like this before?” he asked as I reached the top of the stairs.
“Nope, this is a new one.”
“I wonder if this is what being on the Titanic felt like?” he mused. “Water rising, nowhere to go, just waiting for the end.”
“We aren’t on a ship, though.”
“No. Does that make it better, or worse?”
I shrugged and Vincent passed me a bagel,
“I figure we should eat the breads first; they’ll go moldy in this humidity. We can save the rice, potatoes, and canned goods for later.”
“Makes sense. Do we have a way to cook any of those things?”
“I looked around. Some of the rooms have fireplaces, I guess we can hang a pot over the fire, cook that way. But maybe all this will stop before we get to that point.”
“Maybe,” I wasn’t exactly feeling optimistic about it.
I helped Vincent lay out some fruit and soft breads on the hall table, so that when the guests awoke, they would have something to eat.
“What exactly are we going to tell them when they get here?” Vincent asked, putting out some bowls. “We can’t exactly say that the hotel is sinking and it’s all perfectly normal, can we?”
“What else is there to say?” I shrugged. “It’s some sort of flood. We don’t know any more than they do. It’s the truth, right?”
He considered that for a moment, then nodded.
“I suppose it is.”
A sudden commotion from downstairs drew us to the railing. The three guests were standing on the 2nd floor landing, looking down at the water, Manny was saying something I couldn’t quite hear, but the response was clear enough,
“What do you mean, underwater!” Steward shouted. “This hotel is on dry land. We specifically avoided anything near the ocean or any major body of water. Where did all this even come from?”
“We are located on a flood plain. It is possible that the dam broke upstream,” Manny explained calmly.
Dam, huh? That wasn’t a bad explanation.
“If that is true, where are the authorities, shouldn’t someone be here to evacuate us?”
“I am sure they will be here when they can. Until then, we just need to stay calm and safe. There is breakfast laid out on the 5th floor, please stay away from the water and we will relocate your rooms to the upper floors.”
The trio of men grumbled, but eventually they headed up the stairs. Vincent and I ducked back to our places. As they grabbed fruit from the table, Lesley scowled,
“I told you we should have left days ago. We could have moved to another hotel. Now we’re trapped here, in this dump.”
“Oh, relax, Les,” Jack chuckled. “We’ve been in worse scrapes before. This isn’t a big deal.”
“And if the water keeps rising?”
“I bet we could manage to make a passable raft, eh Stewart?”
Both men chuckled, sharing a private joke, but Lesley still looked anxious.
“I didn’t ever want to be out on the water again. We agreed.”
“Seriously, Les, just keep it together, alright? Let’s just eat something and find some way to kill time. I am sure the authorities will send a rescue crew and we’ll be out of here in no time.”
I opened the storage closet and felt my heart sink as I looked on the nearly empty room. We were down to only a couple of boxes of crackers and a few bottles of water. We had rationed the food carefully, but it had been over 2 weeks now, and we had almost exhausted our supply. I wasn’t looking forward to telling the others. Things had been getting tense. The power went out on the third day, and by now every cellphone we had was dead. Not that anyone could get a signal before that, anyway. The water had risen all the way to the fifth floor, so we were all trapped together on the top floor of the hotel, with nowhere else to go, if it rose any further. The guests had mostly given up hope for rescue, and the rest of us knew that was never a hope to begin with. So, now it looked like the six of us were just going to be trapped up here to starve, if we didn’t drown first. I covered my face with my hands.
“That bad, huh?”
“Vincent. No, it’s… it’s not…” what was the point in lying about it? “Yeah, it’s that bad. We are almost out of food, and the water has risen at least another foot since yesterday.”
“What are we going to do?”
“I have no idea. Let’s just get back to the group. We shouldn’t leave Manny alone, in case the guests come out of their rooms.”
“Right.”
We walked back to the central hallway together. As we entered the room, I saw Manny with his back to us, removing a soaked shirt. Even in the dim light, it was clear that his back was webbed with dozens of scars and cuts. Vincent cleared his throat and Manny hurriedly tugged on a dry shirt.
“I patched the hole in the roof,” he explained. “The rain should stop getting in from there, at least. And I brought down a full barrel of rainwater and replaced it with an empty one.”
“Thank you, Manny. At least the water from the sky is… normal. Because we are going to have to start drinking that water from time now on, I think.”
“And the food?” Manny asked.
“Some crackers, nothing more.”
“Well, I guess we will all need to tighten our belts, then.”
A moment of heavy silence passed between us, before a door burst open and Jack emerged.
“Where’s the food?” he barked. “We’re hungry and the table is bare.”
“Food’s gone,” Manny replied coolly. “There is water in the barrel, to take the edge off.”
“We can’t survive on only water.”
“We can, for another couple of weeks.”
“So that is your plan, to slowly starve to death?”
Manny shrugged but didn’t reply.
“Well, suit yourselves, I have a better plan.”
Jack turned on his heel and stormed out.
“What do you think they will do?” Vincent asked.
“He said already, didn’t he? Build a raft,” Manny replied.
“Maybe that isn’t a bad idea,” I offered. “We could help, try to get out of here?”
“Has attempting to leave ever worked?” Manny asked. “No, all we can do is hunker down until this resolves itself. And I don’t think going out on that water is a good idea.”
“Should we try to stop them, then?”
“No. If they are focused on building, it will keep them off our backs, for the time being. Let them do what they want.”
Vincent and I spent the next few days watching the three men lash together furniture using heavy objects as improvised hammers and strips of torn bed linens as ropes. They seemed to actually have some idea of what they were doing, and they quickly fell into a rhythm, with Stewart and Jack doing most of the planning and construction and Lesley being ordered to fetch supplies and carry heavy objects. He grumbled about it, but did what they told him. They mostly didn’t even notice we were there, as long as we made a show of occupying ourselves with some cleaning task or another. They never even bothered to ask why we were still cleaning and maintaining a flooded, sinking hotel all day. It was hard to tell if they just paid so little attention to us that they didn’t notice, or if they simply figured it was our way of coping with the situation. Occasionally, they would ask us for some material they needed but could not find, and we would help as much as we could, then they would go back to ignoring us. On the third day, when the raft was beginning to look seaworthy, Jack sat back on his heels, admiring their handiwork.
“Well, boys? What do you think? Will it float?”
Stewart rubbed his nose with his thumb,
“I think it’s as fine a vessel as we have ever crewed, captain.”
Jack laughed,
“And you thought we had left those days behind us for good, eh chief?”
“They are. But it looks like it will come in handy for us, one more time. Good luck, huh?”
“Good luck?” Lesley’s face turned dark; he had been increasingly dour over the last few days. “I don’t see the good luck in any of this. I think we are reaping our just reward.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Les, this flood has nothing to do with us.”
“No? You think all this is normal, then? It’s been raining nonstop for weeks, the water keeps rising, no one has come looking for us. It’s like…” he hesitated before continuing. “It’s like we are alone in our own private hell. Just us and dark water everywhere. I don’t know how you aren’t thinking about it. I can’t stop. I see his face whenever I close my eyes. I see the dark puddle in the bottom of the lifeboat. Maybe this is what we deserve.”
Jack backhanded him across the face,
“Pull yourself together, swabbie. And don’t speak again until you’ve regained your composure,” he turned back to Stewart. “Now, we need to get this to the roof before we finish lashing it together, or it won’t fit. Then, we can either find a way to launch it, or we can wait until the water rises enough, what do you think, Mr. Stewart?”
“Well, captain, I say we rig up some ropes to lower it, because if we wait until the water is that high and anything goes wrong, we won’t have another chance.”
“Very good. Alright, Les, help us lift these pieces.”
The raft was relocated to the roof and the next 3 days were spent lashing it together and making the ropes strong enough to lower it the ever-dwindling distance into the dark water. When they were finally ready to launch, Vincent, Manny and I gathered on the roof to watch. I had to admit, I was really beginning to hope they succeeded, even if it didn’t seem likely. We were still rationing out the last few crackers, but three or four crackers a day did little to even take the edge off of the hunger, which gnawed on my guts like an animal. If this didn’t work, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I looked over at Manny, his face grim and starting to look a little gaunt. As he turned to face me, I saw blood coating his neck and seeping into his shirt collar from a cut near his ear.
“You’re bleeding.”
He reached up and touched his neck, bringing his hand aways stained crimson,
“Shaving cut,” he offered, wiping it off absently with his hand.
I raised an eyebrow, but let it go. I had noticed Manny with little cuts or scars before, but he was always doing landscaping work or maintenance, so small cuts and injuries didn’t seem unusual. But suddenly, in such close quarters and confined indoors, it was apparent that he seemed to injure himself more than I would expect.
Curious, isn’t it? Al asked, speaking up for the first time in sometime.
“You have something to tell me?” I mumbled under my breath.
No, just noting that there is power in blood. I wonder what he uses it for?
Power, huh? That was probably worth thinking about. Later. For now, my attention was drawn to the makeshift ropes lowering the raft into the water. The raft settled into the water with barely a ripple, the liquid was entirely too thick and seemed to stick to the wood like oil, and the sound when it hit was less a splash and more of a splat. The three men looked at each other, confusion and concern on their faces.
“That doesn’t much seem like normal water, Cap’n,” Lesley noted.
“Probably lots of mud and silt mixed in, it’s nothing,” Jack waved away the concern. “Get down there and then you can help us down.”
Lesley shook his head, mutely.
“Fine, Stewart?”
The other man didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded apprehensively and moved to the edge of the roof and clambered down onto the raft. As it bucked and shifted under his weight, he lay down, waiting for it to stabilize, but instead, the rolling and pitching seemed to increase. Then, from the water under the boat came dozens of pale human hands. They were terribly bloated and marbled with green and grey. Corpse hands. Stewart looked down, terror written plainly on his face.
“No! It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t cause it,” he shouted at the corpses looming under him in the dark water. “You want the captain, not me!”
If that was meant to mollify them, it didn’t work. The hands gripped the wood and pulled, capsizing the raft and pitching Stewart into the water. He screamed as he hit the surface. Not just from fear, but pain. He tried clinging to flipped raft, but hands wrapped around his torso, trying to pull him into the dark. I could swear I heard whispers rising from the surface: Join us.
“Help me, please!” he cried.
He was too far down to reach from the roof, but maybe there was another way.
“Hurry, if we can get to the windows on the 5th floor, we can pull him in,” I shouted.
Vincent nodded and we ran down the stairs, searching for the room closest to him in the water. The screaming helped. When we dragged him inside, he was covered in scratches and bites from teeth that looked very human, some very deep and freely bleeding. His skin was stained from the dark water. The hands continued to reach for him, so I slammed the window shut, leaving them to paw at the glass, just as Manny burst into the room, followed by the other two guests. Seeing the seriousness of his injuries, Manny moved closer, kneeling next to me.
“Some of these are very deep. We need to get pressure on the wounds. Go grab some towels,” he instructed Stewart’s companions.
He inspected the bites and scratches more closely,
“Lucy, this bite is on an artery, press down on it hard, or he will bleed out. Vincent, go get some soap and water, we will have to clean this as best we can, under the circumstances.”
Vincent rose and Manny and I were left alone with Stewart, who seemed to have passed out.
“You seem to know what you are doing,” I noted, pressing down on the bleeding wound.
“I… I was a doctor, once,” he didn’t meet my eyes when he said it.
“Wow.”
“It was a long time ago. Another life.”
“Why didn’t you ever…” I was interrupted when Stewart’s eyes snapped open.
“I need a priest,” Stewart grabbed Manny’s collar, his eyes fevered and unfocused. “I need to confess my sins, before I die.”
“You aren’t going to…”
“We killed him,” he pressed on, oblivious to my objections. “Alan Ross.”
“The billionaire?” I blurted, surprised. “But he died in a… shipwreck…”
I fell silent. I remembered the news stories; Ross had been on a luxury yacht on the way to the Cayman Islands when it wrecked in a storm. The entire crew was lost, except for the captain, the chief mate, and a single deckhand, who had survived in a lifeboat. Ross was in the lifeboat as well, but he had already drowned, before they were able to drag him on board. They had drifted for over two weeks, with his corpse, before they were found and rescued. It had been a major news story, about a decade ago.
“It wasn’t like the news reported,” Stewart gasped. “When the yacht started taking on water, we should have stayed and helped to organize the evacuation of the crew. But Ross wanted to leave right away. He offered us money if we took just him and abandoned the others. We agreed, the captain and I. Lesley was just a deckhand, but he saw us leaving and followed. We quietly launched a lifeboat and fled, leaving the others to their fates.”
“How did Ross die?” I asked.
“He had a bag with him. It was so heavy he could hardly carry it. When he put it in the boat, it fell open and it was filled with diamonds. He was taking them to the Caymans. When we saw that, we… well, we decided. If he didn’t survive the shipwreck, if the diamonds were never found, who would know? We drowned him and hid the diamonds. When we were rescued, we waited awhile, then we sold them, made millions. But it wasn’t worth it… it wasn’t worth this. The guilt…”
He slumped to the ground. Manny met my eyes over the body,
“I think we lost him.”
As I looked up from the body, I saw Jack and Lesley standing there in the doorway, towels in their hands. There was an ugly look on Jack’s face.
“I wish he hadn’t told you that.”
“Told us what? He was raving, delusional,” I attempted.
“We were standing right here,” he replied.
I swallowed hard. Jack advanced into the room, holding a broken table leg like a club.
“We’ve kept this secret all these years, it isn’t getting out now.”
“We won’t tell anyone,” I protested.
“That isn’t a chance I am willing to take. Besides, with the food supply exhausted, it was always going to come to this, eventually. Might as well get it over with.”
“What are you doing?” I heard Vincent call from the doorway.
“Lesley, take care of him, will you?” Jack continued to advance on us.
“Please Jack, hasn’t there been enough death?” Lesley protested.
“Don’t act all innocent, you agreed to this, just like the rest of us. In for a penny, in for a pound, my friend.”
I glanced around for a weapon. Between the three of us, we should be able to take him, but I didn’t much like the look in Jack’s eyes. Manny had stood, backing slowly away as Jack advanced. Then the captain took a swing at him, Manny jumped to the side and the makeshift bat shattered the window behind him. Jack’s expression turned to one of horror as a pair of pale hands gripped the doorframe and a body began heaving itself through the open window. The broken glass sliced its bloated flesh to ribbons, but it didn’t halt the creature’s ingress. Dark, thick liquid that smelled of death oozed from its wounds.
“Alan!” Jack exclaimed, backing away swinging his bat at the creature.
“You owe me,” it gurgled.
We all backed out into the hall, but the creature advanced, slowly, leaving a trail of black liquid on the carpet as it walked.
“Is it money you want? I can get you your money back, your diamonds,” Jack offered.
“What use do I have for money?” it wheezed. “You owe me a life.”
Jack hit the body with his club, but it didn’t slow its progress. He screamed as it reached out a hand and closed it around his throat. Jack was lifted off his feet and the creature carried him to the stairs and plunged him into the dark water. At first, he flailed and fought, but a dozen hands rose from the water, gripping every part of his body. When he was completely immobilized, the corpse released him, letting him be dragged down into the depths. Then, it turned,
“Now,” it spoke to Lesley. “Will you fight, or come willingly?”
Lesley was trembling so hard he could barely stand,
“Please, I’m sorry, I beg you, spare me.”
The creature’s lips curled into a grotesque smile,
“Do you regret what you did to me?”
“I do, I do. I never should have agreed with their plan. Please, have mercy.”
“Did you have mercy on me, when I begged?”
Lesley shook his head.
“Then accept your fate.”
“What… what do you want me to do?”
“Walk into the water. Give your life willingly. Perhaps they will spare you, if you do,” the creature laughed, dark liquid bubbling from its mouth.
Lesley nodded haltingly and began to walk towards the stairs, stepping into the water, he walked down until he was submerged up to his waist. Then, the hands wrapped around his arms and torso and abruptly dragged him under. For a long moment, it seemed like he was gone, the same as Jack, but a moment later, he was thrown back onto the landing. Lesley raised his eyes, now as black as the water, and the creature smiled again, a tooth falling from its mouth as it did.
“Very good,” it burbled. “You have been baptized and born again into a new life.”
Lesley nodded, a serene smile on his face. Without a word, he rose and walked back into the room we had vacated only a moment before. Outside the window, the raft had been righted and floated serenely on the water. He looked down at Stewart’s body, then picked it up and draped it over his shoulder. Glancing back at the three of us, he winked,
“A snack for the journey.”
Then, he stepped out of the window onto the raft and drifted away.
“Don’t suppose any of you would care to join him?” the corpse of Alan Ross inquired. “Be born anew in the cleansing water?”
We all shook our heads silently.
“Oh well, another time, then.”
And with that, the corpse walked into the water and disappeared.
That night, our usual meals appeared in our rooms, and by the next morning, the water had receded, as if it had never been there. The electricity came back on, and the rain stopped. I was finally able to charge my phone and post this account. I tried asking Manny for more information about his time as a doctor but is as reticent as ever. I will keep trying, though, because Vincent and Al are right about one thing, there is something suspicious about how much he knows that he shouldn’t. But, that is a problem for another day, after all there is no need to rush, we aren’t going anywhere.
Until next time,
Lucy

If you decide to read this long post, please note that this is a very sensitive subject and that I am heart-broken, ashamed, and lost. I have been considering behavioral euthanasia for my 3-year-old Malinois for the past 6 months. I took in a puppy for foster back in March 2020 because shelter space was at capacity, and I had free time since I was remote. After a few weeks I decided to keep the puppy, whose name is now Tito. I had no idea what a Belgian Malinois was, but I quickly realized that he wasn't an ordinary pup. I sought out a working dog trainer local to me and we started doing daily boarding and 1-1 training sessions. My trainer has five Malinois (all in various sports such as Schutzhund/IPO and PSA) and she quickly noted that he was VERY nervy and was showing signs of fear-based aggression. Granted, he was a puppy, so I didn't think much of it at the time. I began learning about obedience, and the world of dog sport via LEERBURG, and took several classes on their website for conditioning, reactivity, and competitive heeling. I went headfirst into the world of dog training and sport, and quite honestly fell in love with it. My trainer said that although Tito was a nervous wreck, he didn't have enough drive for sport, but he had too much drive for a pet home. Nonetheless, I stayed consistent with training each day. I noticed a drastic change in behavior at around the 14 month mark. When I would get together with friends, Tito was OK (for the most part) when around their dogs. He would be slightly nippy, trying to herd them but no aggression or fear present. He became explosively reactive when around the same dogs so I took him to the Vet to get checked and rule out any health/medical issues. NO medical issues - so what's next? I told my trainer and she recommended that although it MAY not make a difference, we could try neutering. All of her dogs are intact and she usually advises against it but it was worth a shot. I was back and forth on the idea, until one day he got hold of one of our two cats and drew a little bit of blood (failed to mention that we have two cats in the home that he would chase). I have to manage him both outside of the home, and inside the home at all times. If he isn't in a place command, on the dogpacer treadmill getting his physical needs met, or eating, he is crated. After he attacked one of our cats, I decided to move forward with the neuter. No change. We began a behavior modification program with trazadone and Clomipramine. The trazadone was sedating but it didn't really help much else, while after about 6 months we did see a slight change with the Clomipramine ($250/month I might add). Tito's reactivity got so bad at one point, that he redirected on both my leg, and my fiancé's several times to where he punctured, drew blood, and eventually scarred our legs. Shame on us for not muzzling him from the get-go but you live, and you learn... Aside from being dog reactive, and redirecting on us during walks, he never showed aggression towards people UNTIL the 2-year mark.
INCIDENT #1: My fiancé and I were walking the dogs and had one of our friends who we were expecting waiting outside of our house. We greeted her, the dogs were neutral, and we all walked into the home together. I started prepping the dog's dinner while our friend was taking her shoes off at the entry way. Tito darted from the kitchen, straight to the entryway, and bit our friend's wrist. Thankfully he bit her watch, but it still punctured her wrist and scarred.
INCIDENT #2: A few months went by, and we had my fiancé's cousin and her friend staying with us for the weekend. We made it a point to keep Tito on our second floor, crated if they were around to avoid any potential events. I had him on a leash, muzzled, ready to take him outside for a walk when I said hi to the two girls staying with us. Tito didn't flinch and was neutral which was an unexpected surprise. While muzzled, we walked through the kitchen, and I decided to reward his neutrality with some treats. I then gave my fiancé's cousin and friend some freeze dried, and they fed him through the muzzle. At this point, I felt comfortable (shame on me) and I sat down on the couch and removed Tito's muzzle. The friend still had some treats and fed him - no issue. All was fine up until she stood up, to which he bit her wrist, drawing blood. Not severe by any means, but yet again I put another person in danger because of my naivety.
INCIDENT #3: This next attack was our tipping point as his bites have progressively gotten worse with each event. I was working in my office and had my golden doodle, and Tito next to me with the door closed. My fiance let me know that our friend (same friend was incident #1) was coming over WITH her 8 year old son. I told her that I would crate both the dogs upstairs while they were over to avoid any issues. I walked out of the office and closed the door so the dogs couldn't see our guests. I was chatting with our friend, and hanging out with her son while we waited for dinner to be done. I fell asleep on the couch (it was a 10 hour work day), and napped for about an hour with the dogs still inside the office. My fiancé didn't want to wake me since she knew I was exhausted, so she leashed both dogs and took them outside to go potty. The 8 year old was on his iPad in the living room while his mom was in the bathroom. My fiancé took the boys to the top of the stairs to get back into our house and had them in a sit-stay command to re-attach their leashes before entering our house through the kitchen. Tito broke command and my fiancé could not get his leash attached in time. Before you know it he pushes the door into the kitchen open and is running full speed to get to me (also has separation anxiety and needs to be near me at all times). In order to get to me on the couch however, he needs to pass the kitchen. As he is running through the kitchen, our friend's son is holding his iPad. Now, he knows that Tito had previously bit his mother, so he was TERRIFIED when he saw him running towards us. The son started screaming, with his hands in the air which at this point I woke up, jumping off the couch. Tito turned back around, and as he did the son threw his iPad at Tito. Tito latched onto the boy's thigh, biting him. Thankfully, as soon as he made contact, he immediately let go but the damage was already done. I picked up our friend's son, took him to the tub to clean/disinfect the bite which had two puncture marks (worse than any previous bite). We took him to the ER and thankfully the doctor said that it wasn't too bad and that it should heal in about a week or so. My fiancé and I were devasted. This poor boy was now traumatized due to our recklessness and inability to manage our reactive dog. My fiancé came into this relationship with (1) dog, while I had Tito and our golden doodle. She didn't sign up to live on eggshells and I commend her for all of her support BUT I feel TERRIBLE that now none of her friends feel safe coming to our home. I spent about two weeks researching behavioral euthanasia and we were committed to moving forward with it in February of this year - until the guilt set in. A few months past, no incidents, until about Mid-March. INCIDENT #4: I already mentioned that I had Tito and our golden doodle (name is Archie) before I met my fiance. She already had a 7 year old Lab/Pit Mix named Jasmine so thankfully we were able to get all three dogs to peacefully co-exist (for the most part). Jasmine is an "old soul" and doesn't like any sudden movements or play while she's around - she has her quirks. I was letting all three dogs out in the backyard one afternoon (this was late March of this year), and decided to play fetch with Archie (golden doodle). Jasmine was waiting by the door to get back into the house as I threw the ball for Archie. In order to get to the ball, he had to run past Jasmine. Archie knows exactly how she would react, so he slowed down, and tip toed past her to safely get to the ball. In that moment, Jasmine turned around and attacked Archie, pinning him to the ground. As I am trying to remove Jasmine off of Archie, Tito comes in from left field and attacks Jasmine. All of this happened within a second and I didn't realize that there was any serious damage until we were in the house much later. Jasmine had a three-inch laceration on her under belly, exposing the muscle with the skin/fur nowhere in sight. We immediately rushed her to the ER to which she ended up having to get 14 stitches. For the record, she is fine now but still a terrifying sight. Yet another tipping point, but we still held off on BE.
INCIDENT #5: On Friday night (two days ago), I was letting the dogs out. Now let me preface by saying that the house we live in is a multi-family home where we live on the 2nd/3rd floor, while the first floor is its own apartment/unit. My fiancé's brother, his girlfriend, and their dog actually occupy this space, so we typically text each other when one of us needs to let the dogs out. We always make sure that the backyard is cleared before letting our dogs out to avoid any potential conflict/injury. I shot over a text and let them know that I would be in the backyard (it is about 10:30 pm, and it's DARK). Her brother acknowledged, and I even made a joke about how Tito was crazy because he spotted a rat in our backyard and chased it to the garage. All of a sudden, I hear their backdoor open and their dog Bronny comes towards us in a full sprint. The brother's girlfriend didn't know we were in the yard, as he told her right when she was opening the door. At this point it was too late. Bronnie and Tito have NEVER met aside from smelling each other's markings in the yard when the other isn't present. Before I could even visually spot Bronny (dark, brindle coat), Tito had his teeth around Bronny's neck. I was able to pry Tito's mouth off him, to which Bronny ran inside their apartment, however Tito followed suit. He got a hold of him AGAIN and I had to pry his teeth off, and sort of nudge Bronny away while I got a good grip on Tito (had no collar on so I had to get a good grip on his scruff). Bronny had peed all over himself, scared shitless. I took the boys upstairs to their crates, and came back down to check on him. The punctures weren't too deep and they said they would take him to the vet. I FEEL AWFUL. Although I gave them a warning that we were in the yard, it is my responsibility to keep everyone safe from our dog. Bronny, who is typically a very rambunctious, silly dog, turned on me earlier today when I said hi in the backyard by myself. He tried to bite me, and the brother had to pull him off. I am responsible for this dog's pain, fear, and trauma. Turns out Bronny's neck had swelled up, creating an abyss. They just got back from the vet, and he needed to be sedated so that they could drain the fluid. I feel so much shame and guilt and don't know if I could live with this happening AGAIN.
What more can I do? - Training, training, training, every single day (making sure his physical needs are met along with adequate mental stimulation) - Worked with several trainers, all of which concluded that this is just who he is - Lots of LOVE, PLAY, and more LOVE - Prong collar (no longer using as it makes his reactivity worse) - E-Collar (no longer using as it only amplifies his redirection) - Behavior modification in conjunction with medication - Has a daily routine and is given jobs
I don't know what else I can do - how can I continue to justify keeping him alive? He is my soul-dog, my best friend, my boy. He has so much love for us and can be the most amazing dog - until he isn't. He would be the greatest dog if it wasn't for his reactivity but what can you do? These were the cards we were dealt. I quite honestly believe that it all comes down to genetics and it is a uphill battle every day. Whoever decided to breed and produce Tito and his litter mates is a backyard breeding POS.
It kills me that I took in this sweet puppy, did everything I possibly could to give him a great life, and it still wasn't enough. It kills me that I am so irresponsible and selfish, that I decided to keep him alive after each and every bite incident. I feel so bad for my fiancé as she knows how hard this decision is for me and yet after everything that has happened, continues to support my decision to keep him alive despite all the pain he has caused us. I can't continue to make excuses for my dog. I can't keep walking on eggshells in my own home, putting the safety of our cats, other dogs, and neighbors at risk because I LOVE MY DOG. My love can't make him a stable, neutral dog.
The thought of taking him to the vet, watching him lay on a metal table breaks my heart. Having him look me in the eyes as he takes his last breath, thinking that we'll leave to go home any minute, brings me to tears. How could I fail this loving boy who would do ANYTHING for me? How can I walk out of the vet clinic with only a leash and no dog looking up at me like I am their whole entire world? This isn't fair. We will be booking an appointment for next Sunday. I plan on taking PTO from work next Friday and Monday so that we can have one last incredible weekend together.
If you have any ideas of how we can make the most of our time, please share. This is going to be the hardest decision of my life and I am not ready to lose my best friend. Thank you for listening.

After a 1940 defined by gathering strengths and refinement across the feature, the early months of 1941 bring a few troubling portents behind-the-scenes for Fox's affectionately termed Grainy Gladiator. Nothing ruinous in itself, but signs of an upcoming radical shift away from what the character represented to start.
For one, the April issue of Adventure Comics (#61) brings with it a new cover feature, Ted Knight AKA Starman, courtesy writer-artist Jack Burnley. Already the second lengthiest entry in the book at nine pages, Starman quickly managed what neither Sandman nor Hourman could during their respective years as star attractions and upgraded to a full thirteen pages by his third appearance in #63. For context, Sandman only went from six pages to ten with its upgrade, while Hourman has remained rockstaedy at eight pages, and neither took down another non-superhero supporting feature to justify the page increase like Starman did Barry O'Neil and Mark Lansing. Moreover, from Starman's second appearance on, he is only drawn by Burnley; writing duties now belong to the Sandman's own Gardner Fox.
Which loops in with two other issues at play over Wesley's tossing, turning figure. Starting with issue #61, available online sources no longer fully agree who wrote what for the Sandman feature. You must understand, outside superstar figures with major pull like the creators of Superman or Batman, very few creative teams are properly credited in these Golden Age comics - my credits the last few posts have all been crossreferenced across numerous wikis and databases who owe their credits to investigative work by fans like Jerry Bails back in the 1960s. Such work was sadly not exhaustive, and while a few places (like DC Continuity Project and Wikipedia) state or else imply Fox stayed on as writer for the next few issues, from June to November there is no consensus as to who penned the stories.
I shouldn't be surprised if Fox's involvement terminated with the March issue, for April also saw All-Star Comics shift its format slightly, with Fox writing all nine interior stories for the 64 page mag in addition to his duties on the longer Starman feature. Man would have to work double time to keep pace, even if Sandman didn't drop to eight pages with #62 in May. Either way, Fox is certainly gone following #64 in July, as that issue features the final story drawn by regular artist and co-creator Creig Flessel, who departs to work on Shining Knight later in the year. As I say, things are changing fast for Sandman, and not all changes seem necessarily for the better. Best, however, to take the stories on their own level before drawing any final conclusions!
^{Coverage note: This entry goes to July rather than June for the sake of my sanity. If I stopped midway through the year, I'd only need cover seven features here, but the back half of '41 would require coverage of eleven. A nine-nine split feels much more feasible.}

• ADVENTURE COMICS #58 (January)

Orchids of Doom - Gardner Fox, Creig Flessel, Chad Grothkopf

Once again, a socialite friend to Wes and Dian is at the center of a minor mystery with big implications - namely, how can Pedro Nogades, father to Carla, rightly claim he breeds otherwise purely wild orchids in captivity? Investigating as the Sandman, Wes and Dian find a dead man in the Nogades greenhouse with his head stripped to the bone, and in following another fellow who sniffed an orchid before promising a shipment of such to some ruffians on the bad side of town, see his own face dissolve to bare skull. A visit to the police chemist reveals the orchids on the dead men's persons were laced to release a deadly flesh-eating gas on exposure to natural air, which is enough probably cause for Wesley to enlist Carla's boyfriend Bill in staging a raid on the Nogades manor. Some close shaves and fisticuffs end with the group discovering a diorama of the local coast, laid out to assist enemy agents in an invasion. Pedro is put away and the orchids revealed as concealing microfilm copies of the coastal plans, but how do we square the mystery that started it all? Simple: Nogades was no botanist, and called the flower by the wrong name when concocting his cover story!
An alright yarn to kick of the calendar year. As per usual when Fox tries for a somewhat complicated mystery, he's no adequate means of tying off loose ends other than large blocks of text, but it's lively and keeps the situation evolving with decent justifications for mid-story action and dragging Bill along for further fisticuffs. Hooking the entire mystery on, "Oh, the bad guy misspoke," is a tad lame, if understandable in the context of Fox's passion for slipping general knowledge flexes into his stories. Flessel and Grothkopf get some good mileage out've the skull imagery that crops up whenever the flower kills, and I rather like the brief bout of fisticuffs towards the end. The minor social awkwardness when Bill gets in the car with Wes and Dian is pretty good too, and I'm sorry to report I can't add this story to the "Wesley getting shot" count, as the bad guy only plugs his hat. Kinda funny having a Golden Age Sandman story involving orchids given Neil's own pre-Sandman work with Black Orchid, innit?

• ADVENTURE COMICS #59 (February)

The Story of the Flaming Ruby - Fox, Flessel, Grothkopf

There exists a ruby of blazing red, which has driven men to rage and madness wherever it appears, and today it sits in the hand of a young man in the local jeweler's shop, who flashes it cross Dian's vision. Later in the evening, she wakes in a trance consumed with the urge to kill her father, stopped only by Sandman as he rushes in from investigating a similarly queer case. A bank teller friend from his private life has found himself driven to steal from the vault and deliver it to some crooks on a lonely road every night, all after one of those men flashed him the ruby. Wes and Dian are unable to stop this night's transaction (on account of the ruby briefly turning Dian against Sandman), but seeing the gem in action gives Wes an idea on how to counteract its effects, and go into battle during the next drop armed with blue cobalt glasses. A brawl puts down all the blackmailers except one, but Wes opts instead to go after the head of the operation, knocking him out and lurking in the dark to catch the last as he reports in, revealing the bank teller! Turns out the ruby DOES have hypnotic properties and was used to assist their robberies, but the teller - hoping by playing at the victim to lure Sandman into his cohorts' midst and rub him out - spoke as if he remembered the whole experience, where Dian forgot herself on every exposure. Oops!
Same basic mystery structure and resolution type here as last month, complete with overly-wordy explanation, although I find the hook of pitting Dian and Wesley against one another gives it a minor leg up, as does the relatively straightforward nature of the criminal operation compared to planting microfilm in deadly flowers. There's a more even balance between the rush in bust 'em up style of crime-fighting the feature has developed and the stealthy skullduggery I think suits the character best, with nice action art to match each. Dian has some silly faces whenever she wakes from her hypnosis, and the four panel sequence of Wes halting her murder attempt works pretty well. This is, unfortunately, the final pencil-inking collaboration between Flessel and Grothkopf, and much as I've kvetched over the second man's solo work, I'm sorry to see the back of him in this capacity. When the two were in proper tune, they were the best artistic team Sandman enjoyed yet.
(Stop dodging bullets, I want to see you gunshot.)

• ADVENTURE COMICS #60 (March)

Mystery at Malay Mac's - Fox, Grothkopf

^{Hey, a rare post-Hourman, pre-redesign cover appearance! That's always nice. "Hello, officer? Yeah, coupla chucklefucks right here, the alley off Fourth, can't miss 'em."}
What's this? Dian breaking into a notorious criminal slumlord's safe in the bad part of town? A safe, as Wes discovers after he scares the lady off, filled to the brim with poison gas! Evidently not, as Dian is sound asleep when Wes arrives at Belmont manor to investigate, and a subsequent visit to Mister Mac reveals the only person who'd know the safe was booby-trapped is a local kidnapping organizer. Some blind, flailing fists turns up the girl, Dian's perfect duplicate, snatched from out of state to replace Dian and gain leverage over the cops. Too bad the kidnapper's made of strong stuff, knocking out Sandman and taking both woman for a ride to get back at Mac. Fortunately, Dian leaves Wes a trail of jewelry out the window, enabling him to follow and take down all the crooks with one throw of his gas pistol, revealing in the process 'twas Mac himself who tipped Dian's duplicate to his safe, in hopes of spoiling his rival's big plot.
Art-wise, this is probably Grothkopf's best work for Sandman to date. His tendency to exaggerate is translated into some properly goonish faces for the villains and really, really strong action poses, with some properly atmospheric shots sprinkled in for good measure. He cannot draw the gasmask for piss, but there's such an improvement I almost thought this was a Flessel joint before checking the wiki credits. Makes me wish we could see what he'd do if he kept on as a solo artist - free from the impulse to treat the feature as a cartoon, he produces damn fine work. As a story, this makes good time to mention my misgivings with Wesley's tendency to burst through windows and start swinging long before he thinks to use his sleeping gas. While it's great fun to describe and hype up as the mark of a madman who's even cooler as the badass normal than Batman, it also encourages a faster degradation in the character's identity. I'm sure you'll notice it's been yonks since lurking in the shadows and thinning the ranks by knocking them out in advance has factored into the stories. That Wes handles the bad guy by literally clonking him over the head with the gas gun rather than pulling the trigger speaks to the influence other, punchier superhero features have exerted over the strip.

• ADVENTURE COMICS #61 (April)

The Menace of the Metal Gun - Fox?, Flessel

From aboard a mysterious aircraft, a madman fires upon the city with a metal-melting ray that dissolves the skyscrapers into slag! Alerted to Doctor Borloff's activities, Wesley meets with swift defeat when the rogue scientist melts his gas gun and escapes in his cylindercraft to terrorize afresh. There IS a bright side, as seeing the ray firsthand gives Wesley some idea how to counteract its effects, and he sends Dian and her father warning for the local airforce to coat their planes in sand as a silicate buffer against the ray. Alas, only one officer heeds his message, leaving Sandman alone to get aboard the machine via his new wirepoon gun and defeat Borloff from within. For his brawling process, a good midflight fight is nothing if the hero gets tossed out an open door, but fortunately he can grapple onto the lone surviving plane, recover his bearings, zip back up, and put a stop to Borloff's dreams of world conquest once and for all!
Action is the name of the game here, and even without Grothkopf's inking enhancements, I think Flessel does a fine job on his own. I'm wary of the wirepoon in the future, as by year's end it will completely replace the gas gun as Sandman's sidearm of choice in further drift from the original Christman concept, but taken as a neutral in its debut, giving Sandman greater aerial mobility does lead to some cool shots and enhance the sense Wes goes stark bananas in the mask by pulling some stunts that would almost certainly pull his arms from their sockets in real life. There are, however, some particularly stiff action shots, and in one panel Flessel cocks up the design on the mask worse than Grothkopf last ish. Based on the opening vignette, Borloff decimated millions of innocent lives in addition to all the planes he melted out of the sky, making him easily the deadliest foe Wes has faced to date, and in turn making the "We did it, gang, everything is bright and peachy again!" ending sorta offputting. They'll have to organize mass funerals tomorrow, Wes. Show a little respect.

• ALL-STAR COMICS #4 (April)

For America and Democracy: The Grey Shirts - Fox, Grothkopf

In the top-level story, the JSA learn of their mission for the FBI: a group of Nazi insurgents known as the Grey Shirts are plotting subversive and destructive activities all across America, and are now posed to badly destabilize the nation in a series of disruptive attacks. Each is assigned a mission at critical points cross the nation, though given the widely-ranging disparity in their powers, their usefulness to the cause varies equally wildly. The Atom humiliates some goons spreading Nazi ideology at a single college, Hawkman barely prevents the destruction of an aviation plant in California, and Hourman's defense of an Oklahoma oil field ends with him toppling one of the oil towers to stop his quarry. Meanwhile, Green Lantern detonates a zeppelin secretly jamming radio transmissions nationwide, the Spectre casually annihilates some otherworldly vampiric globes sympathetic to Hitler's cause, and Doctor Fate uses his magic to out every single spy on the eastern seaboard. Uneven efforts or not, the group converge on the Grey Shirts' ringleader, and with a little help from Johnny Thunder, turn him over to good ol' J. Edgar Hoover's custody. Alas, Wesley does not get the blood he's thirsting after.
(Also Doctor Fate alerts Wesley to the identity and location of the ringleader before his mission starts rather than letting him figure it out on his own like everyone else. Prick.)
For his six-page leg of the assignment, the Sandman is off to El Paso, Texas to assist a local newspaper under threat from the Grey Shirts for printing pro-democracy and anti-Hitler editorials. Of course, this being Wesley Dodds on the job, he gets this information by roughing his way into the newspaper offices, then acts on it by beating on the guard at the Grey Shirts' camp and pounding down a band of brainwashed young men to prove he's a better American than them. After sending the wannabe Nazis for a whirl by running their bomb shipment off the road, Wesley doubles back to completely break the recruits' spirits, daring them to prove their hard enough by shooting an unarmed man in Hitler's name, chiefly himself. When none can cut the mustard, he marches them back into town with collars strapped to his car, and inspires the lot to join the Army to a few shirtless bars of "God Bless America."
Cripes but jingoism produces some heady results, doesn't it? I'm not sure I can rightly condone the ridiculous levels of patriotism on display here, even against such classically anti-American enemies as Nazis, yet at the same time, look at this and tell me it isn't the hardest shit you'll see all week. Again, though I've my misgivings about Wes as a brawler no matter how entertaining the results prove, there's something endearing about him being so raring for a fight his first move is to altercate the receptionist at the place he's assigned to defend. On the whole, Grothkopf's final Sandman contribution also shows refinement from his earlier works, the broader, thicker elements of his linework now tempers on a somewhat more grounded approach. Certainly the Sandman himself keeps a consistent look better than he does in any other issue published thus far this year. I DO notice he reused Flessel's design for the District Attorney wholesale on the newspaper publisher. Since he's going and heading out on a job well done, let's not hold it against him, eh?

• ADVENTURE COMICS #62 (May)

The Purple Death Ray - Fox?, Flessel

At the nightly planetarium show, a member of the audience screams and falls down dead, stricken by a litany of strange symptoms with no obvious cause. Wesley, believing the man was killed by a death ray, examines the auditorium's projector, only to find no obvious alterations or fault. Undeterred, he purchases himself a seat next to the murdered man's for the next show, which is now occupied by another fellow who received a last-second courtesy invitation. Acting quickly, the Sandman reexamines the projector from the shadows and finds a replacement bulb screwed into the socket pointed directly at the man's chair. With assistance from his wirepoon, Sandman swings down and wrenches the man from his seat just as the show starts, the bulb bathing his seat in deadly radiation. On learning the man is a former judge and the deceased a former DA, it's not long before Wes ferrets out the killer; it's the cashier, a former scientist sent to jail for misappropriating university funds years ago, out for revenge and now stopped cold.
See, while I'm skeptical about the growing presence of science-fiction elements in the series, they make fine fodder when they play to Sandman's strengths. Lurking high above a crowd of people seeking the answer to some deadly mystery is exactly Wes' bag, and plus or minus some strange mask drawings, Flessel captures that thrill of closely examining a big deadly machine in secret before it fires. I'd submit the page where Sandman saves the judge from the beam as an easy contender for best of the year thus far, and the shot where Wes pushes Dian away from the killer's bullet is another fine piece of work. My memories of this one before sitting down to reread and write were a lot chillier, probably because I wish the series remained in crime pulp rather than raygun pulp, but a good outcome is a good outcome. Seriously, though, why is the mask going so bobble-eyed of late?

• ADVENTURE COMICS #63 (June)

The Voodoo Sorcerer - ???, Flessel

As Dian and Wesley tiff over his interest in an exotic dancer they know through a mutual friend, the woman's tail-lashing dance is interrupted when she sees a great glowing triangle materialize before her eyes. With the shock straining her bad heart, the Sandman brings her to boyfriend's house, where he reveals the triangle is a voodoo witch doctor's means of accusing someone of murder - just as news comes over the wire that the man the woman lashed with her costume tail has died! Smelling a rat, Wes rushes to the scene of the crime to find the taile barbed with poison quills, only for the titular sorcerer to bumrush him out the window. It's a big misunderstanding, thankfully: he's as shocked by the murder as Sandman, and only summoned the triangle on suggestion from an acquaintance, forgetting the dancer would know its significance through her partner. By happiest coincidence, this provides Wesley the solution to the mystery right quick, for only his friend's chauffeur would have motive, opportunity, and knowledge to frame his employers and their associates for the murder of a stock broker who owed them money.
Hmm, ah, see, on the one hand, it IS nice that the voodoo guy is innocent of everything except a lapse in judgement and the real twist is an unassuming little man exploiting the mystery and fears around the craft to cast suspicion off his person. On the other hand, eek, yike, zoinks! None good. Bad, even. Outside unfortunate depictions of non-white persons from the 1940s, the story's pretty weak for a murder mystery, as numerous elements are evidently known to the characters well in advance, yet only made clear to the reader right before they become relevant, like the exact identity of the murdered man. It's only eight pages, so there's little opportunity to piece information together on your own time, and as such it is heavily reliant on narrative cheats to generate cheap surprise. About the best thing here is the big page-dominating panel of Wesley swinging through the city on his wirepoon, unconscious woman tucked under arm. Kinda hard to convincingly raise my dander about what it means for the character and his feature when it's successfully operating on the long-standing principle of "masked mystery men swinging on a wire through skyscrapers looks really cool." S'like a solid fifth of the formula behind why Spider-Man is so enduringly popular.
(Also not a big fan of how Wes dismisses Dian from participating in the case without any adequate reason why. She calls him out over it, even, and nothing in the story justifies his decision to fly solo on this one.)

• ADVENTURE COMICS #64 (July)

The Unseen Man - ???, Flessel

Dian's purchase of paints from a local hobby shop includes quite the unusual accidental item: a paint that turns anything and everything invisible on contact. Determined to solve this mystery on her own, Dian investigates the shop with the dealer's cooperation, only for the dread Unseen Man to get the drop on her. Fortunately, Sandman is there to save her because he won't let Dian do anything on her own; unfortunately, Dian doesn't know Wes can see her attacker through his blue cobalt lenses and pulls him away, thinking him mad and letting the Unseen Man go free. As reward for her screw up, she's targeted in her home the next night, only for Wes to barge in again, having anticipated the only possible secret identity for the crook would make him likely to strike back at Dian. It is, unsurprisingly, the hobby shop owner, who Wes turns over to the police before heading out to patent his invisibility paint with the United States Army.
Alright, it's definitely not Gardner Fox writing anymore, because I cannot imagine Fox treating Dian so poorly. I gave her some dignity in summary, but this story is plain dumping all over her as a fussy, incompetent tryhard who fails at investigating on her own on account her womanly ways. Just look at the sheer antagonism between her and Wes; you two are partners, she's saved Sandman's skin like a dozen times, worn his costume and wielded his gas gun to do it once, even! Don't try to BS me into thinking Wes would run this paternalist "let me handle it, Dian, I wear the pants in this relationship" crap on her. You're only alive because she's worn your fucking pants. Otherwise, 'nother instance where the story and art alike don't give me much of note. I reckon Flessel was about done with the series with Fox gone and sorta phoned in his last few assignments. They're nowhere near the standard of his early solo artistic duties on the title. There IS another good wirepoon swinging shot, if one counterbalanced by a crummier instance with yet another weirdly-proportioned mask.

• ALL-STAR COMICS #5

The Mysterious Mr. X: The Kidnapper's Union - Fox, Cliff Young

The Justice Society are bored. Bored, bored, bored. Why are they bored? There is no crime. Not a single ruffian or scoundrel or roughneck lawbreaker anywhere in the city! Where did crime go? Crime has taken an enforced vacation, courtesy the plans of big crime boss Mister X (hats off), as prelude to his scheme for taking out the JSA and putting all his criminal enterprises back on easy street. It's quite the collection of rackets out against the superheroes - an arsonist ring for Flash, a jewel snatching gang for Hawkman, leader of the phony fortune teller underworld against Doctor Fate, even hard-pressing gym membership shakedowns for the Atom! Naturally our heroes triumph, though every one also encounters a strange little man idly strolling through their battlegrounds. He's so omnipresent despite his mousiness, he's even there when they convene at the police station to organize Mister X's (hats off) arrest. Except this unassuming slip of a man? He IS Mister X (hats off), and with the Justice Society having taken all the fun out've crime, he's turning himself in to live comfortably on the state's dollar in jail. WHOOPSY-DOODLE!
For his six-page part in the game, Sandman must contend against the kidnapper's union, who naturally enough have abducted Dian to get his attention. Not only have these lowlives taken Dian hostage (though she doesn't particularly mind), they've taken out phony accident insurance claims against themselves should the hero injure any of them en route to his untimely death! Nobody quite expects Wes to avoid the sniper-guarded roads to their remote hilltop hideout, though, and a quick wirepoon swing over the canyon (complete with Mister X - hats off - sighting) puts him right in the criminal den. From there, it's a simple biff wham boom to take down the punks and disarm their supporting fire. Alas, Sandman is once again only in the loop on the true nature of the threat against the JSA because someone notifies him from their own investigation, this time Flash via telegram. Let him do his own detective work, you pricks!
Right. You see these panels? You see Dian being calm and collected in the midst of a kidnapping operation? You see Wes trusting her with a submachine gun to keep watch on the fools who mean them harm? Yeah, THAT'S Fox writing Dian. Whoever's writing the Adventure feature at this time ought've taken notes. Artistically, Young makes a fine replacement for Grothkopf and Flessel in Adventure - he can match the first for goons, the second for action, manages a nice turnaround effect before Wes swings on his wirepoon, and even gives us a by-now all-too-rare heavy shadow shot on Wes and Dian. I'm a big fan of the lead kidnapper who calls the JSA the "Justiss Sassiety," and find this instance of Mister X (hats off) the second best in the book, behind only his appearance in the Hourman story, which I think speaks for itself. Probably the only time I'll express preference for something Hourman related over Sandman.
The loss of all three major contributors to the Sandman feature across early 1941 and the crunch down to eight pages has certainly made the Adventure Comics side of the Sandman line a rockier experience. It's still possible to derive enjoyment from the wonky mysteries and higher-concept criminals, but one must accept atmosphere and and particularity have been near-entirely sacrificed for generalized bombast and louder appeal. Don't misunderstand, I've become a fan of Wesley Dodds, Fist-Swinging Bullet Sponge, and my past praises for him aren't diminished by the realization of what this has done to his integrity as a character circa today's stopping point. The trouble is, while I enjoy this half-mad, impossibly reckless read on the character, it simply no longer bears any resemblance to the early days' lurking and creeping through the seedier parts of town. There's a great series of justifications running through the Sandman concept - he's no powers, so he uses the gas gun, so he needs the gas mask, which hides his identity so perfectly it frees him to wear the ordinary business suit, which highlights his vulnerability. Fling him around like a ragdoll who knows no fear of injury or death, although I'll clap for the bravado of it all, I must object if it means any notion he should be sneaky or cautious degrades.
Especially if it means the gas gun vanishes from the character. It hasn't met its final end just yet, but for this seven month block it's proven a very perfunctory aspect of the strip, hung by his side and occasionally brandished without acting as an integral part of the action or storytelling. The wirepoon has subsumed its function as the sidearm, and while I must stress there are plenty aces shots of Wes swinging that fully justify its prominence, taking precedence over the thing that makes him the Sandman, Crimefighter What Fights Crime By Putting The Criminals To Sleep plain rubs me the wrong way. Be awful nice i we could have both without the new toy putting the old out to pasture, y'know? It's not led to anything I'd full-throatedly object over just yet, but... ach, you'll see next time. Speaking of...
Next time! 1941 comes to a close as Wesley picks up another feature to his name, and also a stupid, ugly new costume!
(Previous write-ups: 1939, 1940 pt 1, 1940 pt 2)

In Part Three, Shingo Takagi confronted both his duties as World Heavyweight Champion and member of Los Ingobernables de Japon, proceeding to right the wrongs of his first reign by winning the January 4 main event against Tetsuya Naito to squash their beef and become co-leaders. With PAC shockingly joining the group after having gone on a crusade against them, they seemed stronger than ever, all except for Shingo's neck. Feeling the weight of CHAOS crushing it, it took both Kazuchika Okada and Hiroshi Tanahashi to bring him to his knees, the Ace of the Universe back to his rightful spot after 5 years, restoring CHAOS’s purist regime. Ending off on keeping the riches from blood rival Katsuyori Shibata yet again, he now awaits the arrival of the 2024 New Japan Cup Winner...
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New Japan Cup Finals (March 28, 2024)
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“ZACK SABRE JR. HAS PAC IN HYPERNORMALISATION! PAC SUBMITS! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR THE THIRD TIME IN HISTORY OUR NEW JAPAN CUP WINNER IS ZSJ!” After two failed attempts to translate his cup success into gold, the Bone Master has another chance to fulfil his career’s greatest goal. And out walks the man he beat in the 2018 Finals for his first win, the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, Hiroshi Tanahashi! One of Zack’s biggest rivals since coming to Japan, and one that’s had his number more time than he’s had theirs, he must beat the godly Ace of the Universe if he wishes to claim his first piece of IWGP-commissioned singles gold!
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The stage set for Sakura Genesis, Sabre makes sure to rub in everyone’s faces the premonition he laid down at New Year’s Dash. He said to LIJ he’d be back for the title, and after beating one of their men, he’s made good on his claims. And now, he’s going to make ‘God’ bow to him, whether he wants to or not. When asked for his opinion on the challenger, Tanahashi says he’s amused by how earnestly the Windy Man’s tried to become a New Japan guy, moving his entire life to Japan in pursuit of the top prize. Whilst that dedication may be admirable, it’ll be for nought, Zack just another visitor to his grand kingdom, CHAOS remaining Sabre’s white whale at the end of every NJC journey.
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Sakura Genesis (April 7, 2024)
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Also on the show:
United Empire (Will Ospreay, Great-O-Khan, Aaron Henare) (c) vs Just6Guys (SANADA, Taichi, Ryohei Oiwa) - NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship
YOH (c) vs El Desperado - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
TMDK (c) vs Bishamon - IWGP Tag Team Championship
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Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs Zack Sabre Jr. XI - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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They say third time’s the charm, but that remains to be seen in Sabre’s case. Sabre-Gun with mixed successes throughout the night, El Desperado coming up short whilst TMDK kept their gold, it’s up to their leader to set an example for his group. Popping his collar, he steels his gaze on the championship as Tanahashi makes his entrance, Zack blocking out the surrounding world. Despite channelling the controversial words of the polarising Okada for the past year, Hiroshi still has Ryogoku in the palm of his hands, remaining the people’s favourite no matter the shade of grey he envelops himself in. Back to his pomp and circumstance, he gives ZSJ the full show of what a true star looks like, ready to bring Sabre back down to reality.
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It's a methodical opening from the two talented grapplers, Tanahashi standing toe-to-toe with the best technical wrestler in the world with merely his sheer aura. Sabre shoots for an early Article 50, but Tana sidesteps him into the ropes, before condescendingly patting him on the cheek! Zack retaliates with a forearm, knocking Tana to the mat, a deluge of stomps raining down on his face as the Hiroshi tries to cover up!
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Escaping to the ropes, Sabre charges at him with a EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! Tana evades, connecting a DRAGON-STYLE HARITE, slapping respect into the challenger! Incensed, Sabre leaves a mark with a stinging slap of his own, before nailing a chain of Uppercuts! Tana fights back for a TWIST AND SHOUT, though Sabre counters with a FLATLINER! A High-Angle German is stuffed, Zack decked with an ALL OUT and a MIDDLE-ROPE SENTON BOMB! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!
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Tana guns for the leg like he did Shibata, but a Feint Roundhouse into a Legsweep from ZSJ floors him! AND A NECK TWIST!!! With Hiroshi distracted by his neck, Sabre immediately switches for the legs, applying SUNDAY RAIL ENGINEERING WORKS REPLACEMENT BUS SERVICE!!! Tana’s quick to make the ropes, though has to physically pull himself to the apron when Sabre doesn’t release! No breather for him, Zack hooks his leg in the ropes and connects a DRAGON SCREW!
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Tana receiving a taste of his own medicine, Sabre slides out and scores one directly on the apron, bashing Hiroshi’s leg into the hardest part of the ring! He attempts to Irish Whip Tanahashi into the ring post, but the Once in a Century Talent nails a SLING BLADE ON THE APRON! DRAGON SUPLEX TO THE FLOOR!!! Playing the starpower card, Tana poses with a grin as the cameras catch a shot of Sabre beneath him. He doesn’t notice Zack’s little twitches though, committing to a HIGH FLY FLOW TO THE OUTSIDE!!! A POSSUM SABRE PUSHES HIM MID-AIR ONTO THE BARRICADE!!!
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As Tokyo gasps, it’s academic from Sabre as he threads Tana’s leg through a steel chair, PILMANISING IT!!! Evidence long discarded by the time the referee walks over, he wraps Hiroshi’s leg around the steel post, using it to apply a SASORI-GATAME!!! Tana lets out shouts of agony, Zack milking the suffering as Hiroshi begs the referee to get the challenger to stop. Eventually letting go, he forces Tanahashi to walk himself back into the spider’s web, a SPRINGBOARD ENZUIGIRI awaiting! BRIDGING NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!
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Swivelling into a KNEEBAR now, he rolls around with Tana’s leg in his grasp, countering Hiroshi’s each attempts at escape, before going for the SELECTED TECHNICAL WORKS VOL. 2 combination, but Tana stacks his shoulders up! ONE! TWO! THR-NO LUCK! Forced to release to kick out, he scrambles to his feet to batter Hiroshi with a elbows, a DISCUS ELBOW SMASH staggering him, but a Pele Kick is caught, Tana nailing his own DRAGON SCREW!!!
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A TWIST AND SHOUT follows, before Tana wraps on the DRAGON SWING! Wrenching on the neck, he makes a good few rotations before suddenly dropping to a knee, his leg unable to hold up for too long. Going for a DRAGON SUPLEX, it’s blocked by a barrage of back elbows, though Hiroshi nails the DARUMA-SHIKI GERMAN INSTEAD!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SABRE KICKS OUT! Nursing his neck, Sabre gets no reprieve as a HASE URANAGE spikes him, and a HIGH FLY ATTACK… IS CAUGHT IN AN ANKLE LOCK!!!
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Tana rolls through but Sabre rolls with him, though he can’t get the grapevine, Tana booting him off with the other leg! TWIST AND SHOUT! Sabre subdued, a SLING BLADE takes him down, a HIGH FLY FLOW FOLLOWING SUIT!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Tana rushes for a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF, putting the hurt on Zack’s legs now! The Submission Master searches for escapes yet Hiroshi commits his everything to this move, not letting him free for the life of him! That is, until his own leg gives way! Grounded, he can’t stop a PENALTY KICK!!! AND A ZACK DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-TANA STAYS ALIVE!!!
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Ragdolling Hiroshi with a pair of Double Underhook Suplexes, Zack puts Tana in a prone position to stomp the insides of the knees, before applying a CALF SLICER!!! Yet again, the Ace of the Universe is in trouble, his condition deteriorating with each submission. Knowing he needs to change that and fast… HE GRABS ZACK’S SKULL AND RAMS IT INTO THE MAT REPEATEDLY TO BREAK!!! Gears turning in his mind from Sabre’s tribute, HE GETS HIM UP FOR A STYLES CLASH!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SABRE SURVIVES!!!
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Connecting a SLING BLADE, he dumps Zack with a DRAGON SUPLEX! ZACK RESPONDS WITH ONE OF HIS OWN! Open palm strikes from Tana light up Zack, only for him to wring out the arm for a PELE KICK!!! Sabre teases a Legsweep, but Hiroshi hops over this time and nails a GROUNDED HIGH FLY FLOW!!! Air driven out of ZSJ’s lungs, Tana hoists him up… AND NAILS A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! SHADES OF OKADA!!! The CHAOS Leader beating him like this both past Sakura Geneses, it’s going to happen again!
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Scaling the ropes, Tana crashes down with a HIGH FLY FLOWWWWWWWWWW!!! But he’s not done! Wanting to make an example out of Sabre, he takes his time posing atop the world like the star he is… BUT IT ALLOWS ZACK TO RECOVER, GRABBING HIS LEG!!! Hammering the knee before Tana has a chance to respond, he yanks him off… RUNNING LIGER BOMB!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!!! STRAIGHT INTO CLARKY CAT BAD BALLOON REMIX!!! Folding Tana’s leg over his shoulder, he utterly destroys the geriatric knees over the champion, who wails in agony, doing anything he can to break free… BUT HE’S TOO FAR FROM THE ROPES!!! TANAHASHI TAPS OUT!!! THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM – ZSJ’S THE NEW KING OF NEW JAPAN!!!
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Zack Sabre Jr. def. Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) to win the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (30:23)
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Cutting Tanahashi’s reign brutally short, Sabre-Gun has claimed its spot on the throne! Raising up both his trophy and championship, he’s lifted onto TMDK’s shoulders, the three men flaunting their gold to the world as the remainder of the stable joins them! Tana shell-shocked, he hangs his head in shame and despair as he limps off, Ryogoku the first of many dark days for NJPW…
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As the new monarch, Sabre’s first order of business is simple – kill off his counterpart. And by that he means the man who successfully defended the title against him last year, Will Ospreay. Though he may hold the title, jealousy courses through ZSJ’s veins knowing the Commonwealth Kingpin’s considered the company’s top gaijin despite Zack’s superior record over him. Wanting to change that, he calls out Ospreay, who’s fresh off dropping the NEVER 6-Man Titles to Just6Guys, having had quite the identity crisis since having the WK main event taken from him. Eager at the chance at a do-over, he accepts without hesitation.
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Wrestling Hinokuni (April 27, 2024)
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Sabre-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr. & TMDK) vs United Empire (Will Ospreay & Aussie Open)
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Whilst Sabre and Ospreay have kept their distance since their Royal Quest match, the same can’t be said about the greater stables. World Tag League Winners TMDK taking Aussie Open’s IWGP Tag Team Championship at Wrestle Kingdom and United Empire successfully defending the NEVER Titles against Sabre-Gun at the Anniversary Show, this conclusion was only inevitable. Aussie Open also wanting a chance to get their titles back, they team with Ospreay here against the champion unit, the Commonwealth Nations going to war for supremacy.
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Unlike Royal Quest, Sabre’s notably a lot surer of himself against Will here, no longer compensating by matching his striking game, rather trying to make Ospreay play his game instead. However, even with Zack being in his best possible form, SG falters against UE once more, the Coriolis to Mikey Nicholls setting the stage for Wrestling Dontaku! Zack grits his teeth as much like Tanahashi, Ospreay looks down on him.
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United Empire def. Sabre-Gun (17:34)
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Wrestling Dontaku (May 4, 2024)
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Also on the show:
Ren Narita (c) vs Shota Umino - NEVER Openweight Championship
Taichi (c) vs Hiromu Takahashi - NJPW World Television Championship
YOH (c) vs Robbie Eagles - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
KENTA (c) vs PAC - IWGP United States Championship
TMDK (c) vs Aussie Open - IWGP Tag Team Championship
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Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Will Ospreay XVII - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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A rivalry extending back an entire decade to the UK Indies, the spot for best British wrestler in the world has long been contested between these two. Back at it again, it’s time they settle the score once more. Ospreay strides out comfortably, having been in this position plenty of times by now as a potentially soon-to-be 3x World Champion, this his domain. As for Sabre, it’s his first time defending a title of this magnitude, pressure clearly weighing on his shoulders, but taking a deep breath, he prepares himself for victory just like TMDK earlier in the night.
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As the bell rings… Ospreay explodes for a DROPKICK right away – shades of NJC 2021! Zack fishes the leg out the air and applies an ANKLE LOCK, LOOKING TO TAP HIM OUT WITHIN THE FIRST FEW SECONDS OF THE MATCH! Alarmed, Ospreay thrashes with kicks from his free leg to force Sabre off, rolling to the outside to recollect himself! Sabre doesn’t let him though, nailing a Baseball Slide Dropkick, before tossing him back in and wrangling the leg again!
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A roll shakes him off, a HOOK KICK following, AND AN OSCUTTER! Sabre stops it though, countering with a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Will rotates through to his feet and soars for a STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS, but again Zack dodges! BOW & ARROW ATTEMPT! Will flips into a cover, Zack kicking out instantly! Ospreay handsprings off the ropes, teasing his signature Enzuigiri, Sabre grasping the leg mid-air, but another follows, wrapping around his neck to twist through into a CROSS ARMBREAKER FROM WILL!
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Sabre gets the monkey grip, preventing full extension, BUT WILL BITES THE FINGERS TO FORCE HIM OFF, now getting the full stretch, yelling at the referee to ask Zack if he submits! Sabre refuses however, rolling onto his stomach to turn the hold over and stand up, getting his legs around Will’s neck to score a NECK TWIST, getting him to release!
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Zack knowing it to be a sore spot, he gets rallying with European Uppercuts to rock it like a bobblehead, before leaping into a GUILLOTINE CHOKE! Zack tightens his grip around Will’s neck, but a BUCKLE EXPLODER SUPLEX loosens it again as Sabre’s left dangling in a Tree of Woe! Ospreay sits cross-legged in front of him and SMASHES HIS NOSE WITH FOREARMS, busting a defenceless Zack open! Fish-hooking the nose, Will shakes his head about and lets crimson droplets paint the surroundings like a psychopathic Bob Ross, before letting go, cackling.
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He heads to the top rope, but Zack meets him there, pulling himself up using his core strength and crotching Will on the neighbouring rope! The two face-to-face again, Zack sitting on the turnbuckle and Will on the rope, they trade forearms, blood continuing to leak down Sabre’s face, but he doesn’t care, INSTEAD GRABBING WILL’S LEG TO SUSPEND HIM UPSIDE-DOWN WITH A HANGING SUNDAY RAIL ENGINEERING WORKS REPLACEMENT BUS SERVICE!!!
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Will’s in sheer agony as Sabre contorts his limb, but he’s saved by the referee’s count, Sabre forced to let go, Ospreay slumping to the apron. Zack turns to face the apron as he collects his wits and catches his breath, whilst Will nurses his leg, being checked on by the referee to make sure he’s good to continue, hopping to his base. Sabre settles down on the apron behind Will, grabbing him from behind, TESTING AN APRON TIGER SUPLEX!
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Ospreay smashes the nose with a rear headbutt to ward him off! AND HE SPRINGS OFF ONE LEG TO DROP SABRE WITH AN APRON OSCUTTER, BOTH MEN SPILLING TO THE FLOOR!!! The referee starts their count as both lay still, no sign of movement as the 10 count nears. Reaching 12 now, they finally begin to stir, getting on all fours… 13… 14… 15… OSPREAY’S LEG GIVES OUT! 16… 17… 18… BOTH MEN MAKE ONE LAST PUSH, SABRE SHOVING HIMSELF INSIDE THE RING BY 19, WHILST OSPREAY PULLS HIMSELF UP ONTO THE APRON AND SPRINGS OFF ONE LEG ON THE ROPES FOR A PIP PIP CHEERIO!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!!!
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Coming down hard on the leg though, Ospreay writhes in pain, but with Zack down, he pulls himself up with every last bit of energy he has up for STORM BREAKER… ZACK WITH AN OCTOPUS HOLD!!! Will immediately rams him into the turnbuckle until he lets up, Sabre instead sliding down his back like a bird hitting a window, OSPREAY COLLECTING HIM TO NAIL A HITODENASHI DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOO!!!
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Will shouts in frustration, having jammed the leg on the landing. Feeling victory nigh though, he preps the HIDDEN BLADE!!! SABRE SPINS AROUND AND COUNTERS WITH A ZACK DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NO DICE!!! PENTALTY KICK! ANOTHER COVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-STILL NO LUCK!!! NOW A NUMERO DOS A LA DESPERADO!!! Ospreay screams as Sabre tears the leg in half, Will dancing around in search of reprieve, until a FRANKENSTEINER stands ZSJ on his dome! BRAINBUSTER FOLLOWS!
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Sabre rocked, Ospreay cracks the CHELSEA GRIN against his neck, before connecting the HIDDEN BLADE!!! ONE! TWO! THR-ZACK’S STILL IN IT!!! Will’s leg is falling apart as he stumbles back into the corner to try for seconds, losing balance and collapsing before he can reach his target! EUROPEAN CLUTCH FROM ZACK!!! ONE! TWO! THR-OSPREAY SURVIVES!!! BUT A PENALTY KICK TO THE SKULL! AND STRAIGHT INTO ORIENTEERING WITH NAPALM DEATH!!! OSPREAY THRASHES LIKE A MADMAN, FEELING HIS LIGAMENTS ON THE VERGE OF TEARING… AND HE TAPS!!!
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Zack Sabre Jr. (c) def. Will Ospreay to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (34:18)
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One more for the bad guys. Commonwealth Kingpin at his mercy, Ospreay a mess as he scrambles off, Zack’s the new Top Gaijin in town. Raising his title high from the turnbuckles, he juices every last drop out his victory, this moment perfect to him… or not. OH MY GOD IT’S MINORU SUZUKI!!! Any bit of colour that remains on ZSJ’s pale face drains off as the King’s music rings through Fukuoka, but there’s no sign of the man- WAIT, SABRE’S SPUN AROUND! KICK TO THE GUT – GOTCH-STYLE PILEDRIVER!!! HE’S HERE!!! Placing a boot on Zack’s chest, Suzuki holds the World Title high over his former stablemate’s body!
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The ending of Dontaku has Japan buzzing as they question the true motive of Suzuki’s attack, and after an extended silence, the King sets the record straight. 1 ½ years ago, Suzuki-Gun was dissolved, and ever since, Sabre’s been writing checks with his mouth that he can’t cash. He walks around with the World Title like he’s the reason he even received recognition in NJPW in the first place. Suzuki gave him a home beside him, and as rapidly as he elevated Sabre, he can take it all away from him just as fast. He’s getting old and is still missing the final piece to the Japanese Triple Crown, so he plans to take that from Zack.
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Sabre doesn’t take too kindly to these words, letting his actions speak for himself as he ASSAULTS SUZUKI on a Road To Dontaku show! Bringing Sabre-Gun with him, they brutalise the legend, before Zack plants his group’s flag on Suzuki’s chest! Mocking him for having no allies the next night, declaring Suzuki’s era of relevance to be long gone… this plays. SUZUKI’S HERE, AND HE’S NOT ALONE! IT’S JUST6GUYS!!! Racing to the ring, the two factions erupt in a massive brawl, bodies flying left and right! Sabre tries for a quick getaway but he’s stopped by Minoru, who gives him a devilish snarl before clobbering him with forearms until Sabre-Gun’s sent packing through the crowd, Zack yelling expletives at Suzuki as he retreats!
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Back to Yokohama Arena (May 16, 2024)
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Sabre-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr., El Desperado & TMDK) vs Minoru Suzuki & Just3Guys (Taichi, Yoshinobu Kanemaru, DOUKI)
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With Sabre-Gun and Just6Guys feuding ever since their respective formations, switching between silent competitive warfare of racking up belts to fighting each other, notably the Sabre/Taichi saga, it all fully comes to a head in Suzuki’s home of Yokohama! With full freedom to destroy each other however they please, the two factions don’t hold back one bit, with Suzuki especially targeting ZSJ. He’s unable to give him grief the way he wishes to though, Zack tactfully hiding behind his partners until he can blindside Minoru, before scramming again. Ultimately, it’s Minoru putting Desperado away with the GOTCH PILEDRIVER, before signalling to Sabre that time’s running out for him, Suzuki to get his hands on him too soon enough!
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Minoru Suzuki & J6G def. Sabre-Gun (15:03)
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As much as Sabre tries to deny it, that day only speeds closer with each accusation of cowardice against the prideful champion’s name, the world questioning whether he’s afraid of Suzuki. Adamant to silence his doubters, he finally accepts Suzuki’s title challenge, setting the stage for Dominion, though promising he won’t have a career to go back to when Sabre’s done with him!
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Dominion 6.2 (June 2, 2024)
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Also on the show:
YOH (c) vs SHO - IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship
Just2Guys (c) vs Sabre-Gun (Blake Christian & Clark Connors) - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
TMDK (c) vs The Lucha Brothers - IWGP Tag Team Championship
PAC (c) vs Katsuyori Shibata - IWGP United States Championship
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Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Minoru Suzuki - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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With Sabre-Gun beating Just6Guys earlier in the night, this war’s already at its boiling point by the time the main event arrives, Suzuki opting to enter second as Zack steps out- CRACK! STEEL CHAIR TO SABRE’S SPINE!!! Suzuki isn’t wasting even a second here, tearing the jacket off Sabre’s back before bending the steel over his spine! The Windy Man desperately tries to crawl away to the ring, but Suzuki steps on his ankle to stop him! Turning him around to meet his maker, MINORU GOES FOR A GOTCH PILEDRIVER ON THE CHAIR!!! LOW BLOW FROM SABRE TO COUNTER!!!
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Suzuki drops to his knees as Osaka boos the smarmy champion, ZSJ now battering the King’s back, before finally sliding him in to get the match started! PENALTY KICK RIGHT AWAY!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!!! Sabre wrenches in a CLARKY CAT, working the arm as Suzuki writhes under him, but it’s not long before Minoru stands up out of it, hurling ZSJ to the mat! Booting him in the jaw, Suzuki backs him into the corner and tears into him with open palm strikes! He winds up a CORNER DROPKICK, but Sabre evades, blasting him with a rapid barrage of European Uppercuts against the turnbuckle!
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Zack taking the run-up now, Suzuki bucks him over the ropes to the apron, SABRE BLASTING A THUMB IN HIS EYE! Minoru blinded, Zack leaps up for a SPRINGBOARD ENZUIGIRI- SUZUKI BLOCKS WITH A WILD SLAP TO THE CHEEK!!! Sabre stiffed, Suzuki applies a HANGING JUJI-GATAME FROM THE ROPES!!! Zack screams in agony as Minoru damn near rips his arm out the socket, the referee’s count the only thing keeping him from going!
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Releasing, Sabre crumples to the floor, getting as far as he possibly can from Suzuki, though he’s not fast enough, Suzuki nailing a GOAL KICK to his skull from the apron! Grabbing Sabre, he HURLS him into the guardrail with it shoulder-first, the velocity sending Zack through! As he goes to collect his prey though, SABRE TOSSES A CHAIR AT HIS SKULL!!! Threading Suzuki’s arm through it, SABRE STOMPS THE ELBOW!!! AND AN ARTICLE 50!!!
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Sabre abuses the legend, but he forgets about the other arm, Suzuki slapping his head in with it until Zack releases! Shaking off the arm, a BACK BODY DROP sends Sabre crashing back to ringside, Minoru following after him as ZSJ slinks inside the ring. Zack beats him to his feet though, stomping a hole through the mat with Suzuki’s skull, dribbling it! He cracks a ROLLING ELBOW off the skull, but Minoru walks through it, glaring at Sabre! Throwing an elbow of his own, it gets caught, Zack scoring the PELE KICK to the arm!
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AND A KIMURA LOCK!!! Sabre brutally rips at the arm, bringing Suzuki to his knees from the pain even, but Minoru pins his shoulders to the mat! ONE! TWO! THR-SABRE RELEASES TO KICK OUT! As Zack rolls to his feet, a SHOTGUN DROPKICK awaits him! Suzuki clobbers him with slaps to the face, Sabre seeing stars as one knocks him clean off his feet! Turning to the turnbuckle… SUZUKI RIPS IT OFF!!! Steel exposed, he teases a SNAP SUPLEX INTO THE CORNER!!! SABRE COUNTERS WITH A BRAINBUSTER ON THE MAT!!! GUILLOTINE CHOKE!!!
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Draining the life out of Suzuki, Sabre presses on the carotid artery, Minoru is deep trouble! BUT NOW THE KING BITES ON ZSJ’S FINGERS!!! Zack yelps and releases, allowing Suzuki to secure his wrists and STOMP HIS HEAD IN!!! Sabre catches a boot and applies SUNDAY RAIL ENGINEERING WORKS REPLACEMENT BUS SERVICE!!! ZSJ tortures Suzuki’s leg, though in doing so leaves his arm exposed, Minoru yanking off his grip and countering into HIS OWN HEEL HOOK!!!
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Sabre desperately tries the same counter, but Suzuki’s grip is too tight to break, forcing Zack to roll to the ropes! SUZUKI ISN’T LETTING GO! Crawling on his hands, Sabre pulls himself to the floor and WHIPLASHES MINORU’S NECK OFF THE BOTTOM ROPE!!! Staggering about ringside on one foot, he grabs his title and rolls back in! Suzuki struggling up, Sabre tries to deck him with the belt… but the referee grabs it from behind! A tug-of-war ends in SUZUKI KNOCKING THE BELT INTO THE REF WITH AN ENZUIGIRI!
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Both men hitting the deck, Minoru rocks ZSJ with a Dropkick! GOTCH PILEDRIVER ONTO THE TITLE!!! But there’s no one to count! Pissed, Suzuki limps out and abuses a couple young lions, before picking one out the crowd to toss in the ring, ripping the referee’s shirt off and telling the lion to put it on! SUZUKI COVERS! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Even more livid, HE DECKS THIS LION TOO! Turning back to Zack, he notices the champion feebly reaching for the belt! Kicking it out the ring, Suzuki goes for another GOTCH PILEDRIVER!!! BACK BODY DROP COUNTER!!!
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Still hurting, Sabre struggles to get a rally of strikes going, Suzuki meeting him blow for blow! BUT SABRE WHIPS THE SHOULDER INTO THE MAT! Minoru stunned, sadistic thoughts run through Sabre’s mind… TIGER SUPLEX INTO THE EXPOSED STEEL!!! AND A RUNNING LIGER BOMB – ONE OF SUZUKI’S RIVALS MOVES!!! THE REFEREE’S BACK TO CONSCIOUSNESS! NOT LIKE THIS! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Sabre’s exasperated, thinking he had it! Running out of options, he teases a ZACK DRIVER, but Suzuki slips behind and applies the SLEEPER HOLD!!! Sabre’s quickly fading, frantically trying to tear the bad arm off, but Minoru doesn’t budge, shoving ZSJ to the mat for the PENALTY KICK!!! ONE! TWO! THR-ZACK KICKS OUT!!! Suzuki grabs Sabre by the chin, demanding him to strike Minoru if he thinks he’s so tough, ZSJ doing his best, but Suzuki eats it and returns a HARD SLAP! SLEEPER SUPLEX!!!
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Tossing Sabre to the apron, Minoru steps onto the middle rope and cinches in an ELEVATED SLEEPER!!! Zack dangles in the air, unable to find his footing to escape, Suzuki lifting him higher and higher! Blood rushing to his legs, he needs to act fast, attacking the elbow again until the hold is finally slightly loosened! Leaning forwards, he pulls Suzuki his direction, allowing him to lower his feet onto the apron… YANKING SUZUKI INTO AN APRON ZACK DRIVER!!!
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Sabre coughs up a lung as he kicks Minoru’s corpse back in, before lining up a PENALTY KICK!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SUZUKI’S ALIVE!!! Zack’s stunned as he comes face-to-face with Suzuki’s sneer, Minoru still having enough in him to throw slaps! Sabre returning Uppercuts, they go blow-for-blow until Zack collapses first, though he’s playing possum, HEADBUTTING THE SHOULDER as the King tries to grab him! He goes for YOU CAN’T PLAY CONKERS IN ENGLAND, though he’s immediately tossed down, SUZUKI NAILING A PENALTY KICK!!!
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Winding up, Minoru goes for one more… ZACK SLAPS HIS HEAD OFF HIS SHOULDERS!!! Putting the head between his legs, HE NAILS A GOTCH PILEDRIVER!!! Suzuki collapses in position for a PENALTY KICK!!! AND NOW SABRE CINCHES IT IN – HURRAH! ANOTHER YEAR, SURELY THIS ONE WILL BE BETTER THAN THE LAST; THE INEXORABLE MARCH OF PROGRESS WILL LEAD US ALL TO HAPPINESS!!! Suzuki grits his teeth, trying to fight through it, Sabre keeping his eyes on his hands to see the tap… NOWHERE TO GO, MINORU FLIPS HIM OFF WITH BOTH HANDS AND VERBALLY SUBMITS!!!
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Zack Sabre Jr. (c) def. Minoru Suzuki to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (32:50)
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Surviving one of the toughest matches of his career, Zack’s kingdom still lives, though barely. As he’s handed his title though, he chucks it aside, this about far more than the gold to him! SABRE STOMPS OUT SUZUKI!!! Signalling to the back, out rush Sabre-Gun, coming to Sabre’s aid to conduct a mugging on the legend! SUDDEN DEATH FROM ELP! PINCHE LOCO FROM DESPERADO! THUNDER VALLEY FROM TMDK! TANDEM JEEP FLIP/DROPKICK FROM BLAKE, CONNORS AND FUJITA! And now, it's Zack’s turn. Dragging him to the concrete… HE’S GOING FOR THE GOTCH PILEDRIVER!!! HE WANTS TO RETIRE SUZUKI FOR GOOD!!!
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BUT HERE COMES J6G!!! AND LANCE ARCHER TOO!!! Sabre tosses Suzuki aside to deal with the oncoming traffic, Taichi and co. putting up an honourable fight, but they’re still down a man, Sabre-Gun managing to retain their upper-hand, until… OH MY GOD, IT’S SUZUKI’S OLD TAG PARTNER NAOMICHI MARUFUJI!!! Sabre can’t even get a curse out before a KO-OH SMACKS HIM IN THE FACE!!! Marufuji beats on Zack to turn the tide, going for the POLE SHIFT, but Sabre manages to escape in the nick of time, Sabre-Gun once again sent on the retreat, the show closing on Marufuji helping Suzuki up!
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NJPW/AJPW/NOAH All Together Again (June 7, 2024)
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Zack Sabre Jr. vs Naomichi Marufuji
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After the events of Dominion, it’s only natural these two fight, long, long overdue a one-on-one since their NOAH days together! Fighting in Suzuki’s honour, Marufuji steps to the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion and it’s like 2016 all over again the way he utterly humbles Sabre to start like he’s facing Okada! A match of two halves, it goes from Naomichi giving ZSJ the biggest whooping of his life to Sabre brutally breaking down the legend, reminding him he’s 8 years too old to still be winning these sorts of matches. Though Maru gives Zack grief one more than one occasion, he meets his demise at the hands of a CREMATION LILY, Sabre spitting on Naomichi as he leaves, declaring himself untouchable!
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Zack Sabre Jr. def. Naomichi Marufuji (25:37)
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With his war on J6G and friends officially behind him, Sabre sets his sights on a show he has quite some history with. Losing to Claudio Castagnoli at the first Forbidden Door, before beating Katsuyori Shibata at the second to take both the NJPW TV and ROH Pure Titles to ALL IN to submit Danielson, there’s naturally only one direction for him to head…
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Dynamite (June 12, 2024)
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Racking another AEW International Championship defence under his belt, Wheeler YUTA is on top of the world, and as he’s approached by Tony Schiavone for a post-match comment… WHACK! IWGP WORLD TITLE TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!!! SABRE-GUN’S HERE!!! Mugging Blackpool Combat Club’s young gun like they did Suzuki, a SABRE DRIVER leaves him broken on the mat as Zack yells down the camera that he wants Moxley’s head at Forbidden Door, scurrying away before BCC can make the save!
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Collision (June 15, 2024)
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Zack Sabre Jr. vs Wheeler YUTA
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Off the back of Sabre’s assault on YUTA, a match is made between the two technically-gifted champions in a massive Collision main event! Though ZSJ’s far out his paygrade, an arrogant Wheeler does his best to knock off the Technical Wizard, impressing with a display of submissions he’s picked up from Danielson, before employing some of Claudio’s marquee athleticism and Mox’s grittiness. Never a fair match to begin with though, a TESCO MEAL DEAL cruelly silences YUTA!
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Zack Sabre Jr. def. Wheeler YUTA (10:12)
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Grabbing a mic, Zack runs down Moxley, reminding him how they were supposed to fight 4 years ago until the pandemic ruined that, Jon ducking him ever since. Now though, he’s the last member of BCC he needs to get through before he can shut up those babies too, so all he needs to know is if Jon is still afraid of him or not. And as Sabre awaits his response… HE RECEIVES IT IN THE FORM OF A PARADIGM SHIFT!!! Mox holds Zack’s title over his body, gaining some retribution for YUTA!
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AEWxNJPW Forbidden Door (June 23, 2024)
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Also on the show:
The Lucha Brothers (c) vs La Faccion Ingobernable (RUSH & Dralistico) - IWGP Tag Team Championship
PAC (c) vs Swerve Strickland - IWGP United States Championship
Tetsuya Naito vs Andrade El Idolo
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Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Jon Moxley - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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The final showdown of a lengthy saga, Sabre makes his third defence against New Japan’s Ace, and it’s quite literally a bloody clinic, Mox showing zero fear in the face of the Top Gaijin, who looks to plant his flag over another territory. From a Paradigm Shift to the floor to a Zack Driver through a table, both men are busted open by the surroundings, the blood loss only helping Sabre’s case when he locks in the HYPERNORMALISATION, causing Mox to pass out! Alas, ZSJ stands atop BCC, but perhaps a more personal challenge yet awaits him…
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Zack Sabre Jr. (c) def. Jon Moxley to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (23:20)