Narcissist silent treatment after break up

raisedbynarcissists: for the children of abusive parents

2013.02.18 19:38 AFreakingUnicorn raisedbynarcissists: for the children of abusive parents

This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). Please share your stories, your questions, your histories, your fears and your triumphs. Significant others and friends are all welcome.
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2015.02.17 18:50 thoughtfulandkind (Alleged) Narcissists in the Wild

We've closed narcsinthewild indefinitely, for a variety of reasons. It's not a community we're actively maintaining at this time. We **are not** allowing people to join and **we are no longer responding to modmails**.
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2015.04.15 02:08 thoughtfulandkind RBN mods

All hail Nellie!
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2023.06.08 23:18 SuzieQ198921 I just need to vent.

For years, I’ve been told that I have ridiculous expectations of my SD. I’ve been with her dad since she was 6. We moved in together when she was 9. We lived together for a year before I kicked them out. There were many reasons, but one of them was that SD was making up lies about the everyone and ended up making up a lie about me. Now, it was a stupid lie, but SO’s reaction to it and my fear of further, more serious lies led me to kick them out. Two years after, they move back in. I totally NACHO, but, sometimes, I wonder if by me NOT saying something is just enabling a really bad outcome.
SD refuses to do anything herself. Well, I will take that back… she is finally brushing her own hair and showering herself (her Dad DID insist on that on her last birthday). Now, I have been NACHOing for so long, that it just dawned on me the other day when her father was cutting up her steak for her and cutting her corn off the cob because she just got braces…. That all those years ago, when I was TRYING to say something about it, and now these past years that I just NACHO… these years have flown by. This kid doesn’t do her own laundry, doesn’t do chores, won’t use a knife to cut up her own food, won’t even help bring groceries in and put them away…. It’s not a big deal during the school year, but during the summer, we have her a lot more. She won’t even pack her own bags to get her stuff ready to go back to her mom’s house. Her mom does her laundry, so my SO just picks up her dirty clothes and puts them in a bag. When he was cutting up her steak the other day, he asked her to put the tv trays up in the living room and we’d just eat in there. She automatically says, “I don’t know how.” I took the dogs out potty, came back in, and she had a TV tray just laying on the floor and again said, “I don’t know how.” So, I showed her how to do it… then it dawned on me that she has a portable desk just like a tv tray and has no problem putting THAT up. SO brings her her plate of food, which she is picky that every single piece of fat be removed. SO sometimes gets snippy with me because I refuse to help him cut her food up. She also is just an inch taller than me (around 5 foot tall) and weighs near 300lbs. Every year, at her annual doctor’s appointment, the doctor mandates her mom to take her to a dietitian… there have been threats to call CPS by the doctor. So, she goes twice, neither parent agree on or stick with a diet, so it all goes out the window within a month.
SD will be FOURTEEN in a few months. Yes, you read that right.
What really grinds at me is that my sister is this exact same way at 22 years old. She doesn’t have her license and “can’t” even work a can opener. She refuses to bring her luggage in herself when she stays with me on spring and fall breaks from college. Yet, she’s on a class trip to Greece right now and has no problem with her luggage. Her excuse for anything is, “I don’t know how,” or, “it’s too heavy,” or “I’ll drop it.” My SO talks so much about my sister and all this, but he’s raising his kid the exact same way.
My parents divorced when my sister was 2. She had a very different upbringing than I did… like, worlds different! The excuse my parents and my SO give for these behaviors is, “well, she does so well in school. She’s a good kid. She’ll eventually learn.”
All I can say is, these “kids” will not be living in MY household when they can’t even hold a job. My mom WILL eventually kick my sister out. Maybe my SD’s mom will let her live there for forever, idk. I can NACHO all I want, but sometimes, this just bugs me.
Thanks for the vent!
submitted by SuzieQ198921 to stepparents [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:17 Then_Inspector_8165 How to support a student who is being abused at home?

I teach grade 6, and have recently learned about a female student in my class being hit by both her parents (they are divorced and it’s a messy situation). Last week, she tried to run away during school. She had her whole bag packed and had even looked up a shelter to stay at to hide from her parents. Apparently this has been an ongoing issue the school has been aware of for years and police/childrens aid has been called multiple times and nothing has been done about it. After the incident last week, police took her from the school and she told me she was back with her mom that same night. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how I can help support this student. It breaks my heart that our system is so screwed up and she is still living with people who are abusing her and I feel so helpless. Is there any other way I could support her or help make the situation better for her? Any advice is so greatly appreciated!
submitted by Then_Inspector_8165 to Advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:15 that-manss I hate my internship

I had plans this summer that were changed last minute, so late April I had to scramble for an internship. I ended up getting a maintenance technician internship where I work fixing different machines. I figured this would be decent experience to help me get an engineering internship next summer before having to apply for jobs
I showed up today and my supervisor essentially gave me a 15 minute tour of the plant. He then introduced me to some guys fixing a machine and left me with them because he had a meeting. I made some small talk and asked them questions, but I was really just watching them and not helping in any way. I felt like they were kind of annoyed by me, but they were trying to be nice. After the machine was fixed they all just got up and split ways, leaving me by myself.
At this point I have no office/desk and I am by myself in the plant. I have no where to go so i’m just walking around. I know where the break room is, but what am I gunna do just sit down and go on my phone for 8 hours? I found one of the guys I was with earlier and asked them if he needed any help with anything (he said he didn’t so I just observed him working). I could tell he didn’t want me following him around, but I did anyways because I had no where else to go!
I hate this. I can’t show up and wander around a manufacturing plant aimlessly being an annoyance to everyone. Has anyone else dealt with anything like this before? I don’t know why this company would hire me if they had no plans/people for me to shadow. I think what happened is upper management hired an intern and now the actual workers have to deal with me
submitted by that-manss to EngineeringStudents [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:15 Tiny_Mouse15 Girls always find out :)

My ex of 7 years broke up with me over a month ago. His reasoning was bc he said he couldn’t be there for me emotionally and I deserved better. He felt sorry and cried and this whole time I was sad and hoping he would come back.
But girls always find out :)
He’s already dating someone and it’s someone who was in our friend group. And it all started a week after the break up. Our friends are very upset with this and are thinking about cutting ties. But yea that’s how we’re kicking it off this summer :)
submitted by Tiny_Mouse15 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:14 narjes_0 HI IM ( F24) IN NEED FOR GUIDANCE.

Im a daughter of a family of which i always thought it was normal. Until lately. We are a family of 9. ( 7 children ). And Im concerned about my little siblings between (16-10YO). In our family we dont go out to play nor to picnics nor to vacations. And we never visit anyone and no one visits us. We go to school then return home. My little siblings dont have access to the internet only rarely. And only tv is allowed. During any school vacation we stay home for a month or two. Yes we dont go out to eat nor to do any activity outside the house. My parents spend their time working and when i say working i mean from 9am til 11pm. So basically the kids just stay home eat whatever and spend the day doing nothing. I grew up this way, now im a med student and I realized that this is not the healthy right way to raise any human being. And ngl my mental health is not very nice. After getting into college i got shocked of how the outside actually functions. And faced a lot of problems. Sure i talked to my parents but i only got the “ungrateful, disobeying, rude, irrespecutful” reply. So i find myself drowning in guilt. I didn’t even aknowledge the mental issues i had. My siblings sometimes I think they present some disorders. But i chase out the idea out of my head So im here to ask mature adults/ doctors/ psychiatrists/ psychologists. About my thoughts. I think my parents need psychological treatment seeing that they are destroying/ending my siblings. And what right thing to do.
submitted by narjes_0 to family [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:13 h82bu2 What are my options in dealing with a mentally ill step father refusing treatment?

My mother is not legally married to my step father but they have lived together for 6 years in Tennessee.
Step father is 65 and for the past few months has quickly slid into some kind of mental illness. He claims to have had several strokes that “altered his brain”, but doctors have not confirmed this. He refuses to seek medical attention or any kind of mental evaluation, although his behavior has been very erratic, impulsive, angry, and aggressive toward my mother and his adult children. The adult children all live out of the house.
Behavior includes:
-Driving to Florida on a whim instead of a hospital for one of his “strokes”.
-Has been arrested twice in the past month. Once with 8 counts against him (driving under the influence, possession of weapons under the influence, evading arrest, etc.) and again for missing the court date related to the original arrest. Both arrests were for less than 24 hours, which i don’t understand? Cops at the jail said it was clear “something isn’t right” with him, but that he has to seek medical attention himself after release.
My mom is afraid of taking any action because he is clearly mentally ill and has no fear of consequences or any grasp of rules or being normal right now. Very unpredictable. She is afraid of retaliation in some way. Also, unfortunately she doesn’t have a mean bone in her body so she is hesitant to put him through any kind of trouble. (Even after all of this)
Any advice? What are my options in TN for getting him involuntarily committed or somehow removed from my mom’s life? He has been a real terror for the past month especially. She shot down the idea of a restraining order because she is afraid he isn’t going to listen to it, and i don’t blame her for not having full faith in the law handling it well since he was in jail for such short periods each time.
There’s been way too much that has happened to list everything, but i can answer any questions in the comments. Thanks.
submitted by h82bu2 to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:13 Neverasparename Alchemy in the X4 Universe, or how I made an Asgard from energy cells

TL;DR: Item multiplication/transmutation through Ship Maintenance Bays
So as I've been playing my first time for a long while unmodded, I have been playing around with the efficiencies of different modules/production lines/trading. One of the more interesting things I thought I would post about is the fact alchemy, or creating matter, is very much possible in the X4 universe!
With that said, I think it is possible to create an asgard, provided you have a few blueprints, using:
With all of these items, you can create an infinite number of components.

Key Information/Mechanics

Some key information/mechanics that people may, or may not, be aware of:
Using these factors we can create, and recycle, the same items with different components, and with different ratios. This effectively means we can create what we want; I have picked the Terran economy as it's the simplest to walk through and also most exploitable.

Conversion 1: Breaking the laws of thermodynamics

One of these conversions clearly shows why you only need to start with 14 energy cells - because it literally generates more items than it costs to produce; the humble nav beacon.
Lets look at the method of producing the item:
Route Resource 1 Resource 2
Universal Energy Cell x 1 Hull Parts x 1
Closed Loop Energy Cell x 14
Terran Energy Cell x 50 Metallic Microlattice x 11
Remembering that selling an item back to a Wharf refunds 50% of the materials used to create the item, the route for duplication is straightforward here:
Through this one conversion you have generated 11 energy cells, and made 5.5 Metallic Microlattice as an extra bonus.
Functionally this means that you now have unlimited Energy Cells (& Metallic Microlattice), depending on the number of trades you can do - this is where multiple ships make it more feasible!
NB: There are actually a few of these conversions generating more energy and free items, this is the simplest to start with and actually the basis of a lot of further conversion chains

Conversion 2&3: Energy is matter after all - Computronic Substrate

Skipping past Silicon Carbide (I'll post them in a separate comment, as Silicon Carbide is not required for the asgard), we come to the Computronic Substrate needed. Every Terran item that breaks down into Computronic Substrate also requires hull parts, luckily we already know how to get those as well from the nav beacon above:
This conversion is not an efficient one, but starts to allow us to branch out into other products to get the ones we want, this gives us the result of:
We now have a direct resource cost to produce the hull parts, technically we reduce the net value from 432 Cr to 209 Cr, but now we can move onto the next conversion.
Tracker Mine
We can now look at the tracker mine creation via the three different routes:
Route Resource 1 Resource 2 Resource 3
Universal Energy Cell x 7 Smart Chips x 10 Weapons Components x 3
Closed Loop Energy Cell x 70 Hull Parts x 2
Terran Energy Cell x 50 Computronic Substrate x 1
Again remembering the 50% recycling cost, we can still convert Energy Cells into Computronic Substrate through the following method:
This chain of conversion ends up net zero on hull parts, with 1 Computronic Substrate created. This lets us create an energy cost of:
1 Computronic Substrate = 198 Energy Cells
Based on average price, this has also change the value from 3,168 Cr (198 x 16) to 8280 Cr - a 261% increase which isn't bad either!

So about that Asgard

Going back to the original claim, the cost of an Asgard hull is:
Considering we need 125,416 Energy Cells, we know every nav beacon creates 25 Energy Cells, therefore to create this number of Energy Cells:
Naturally starting from only 14 energy cells with a single ship, this would take a fairly long time. Even slightly scaling this up to 5 M ships means you can create & deconstruct 500 items in a single trade. This means you would create enough Energy and Computronic Substrate with 23 trades (and a left over of 26,293 Metallic Microlattice with an average value of 1,314,650.
NB: Just buying the energy and creating the Computronic Substrate would cost 2,006,656 Cr, less than 1/10 of the value of the hull

Conclusion

So that is how creating matter exists in the X4 Universe, this ended up being a lot longer than I expected it would be so I will be moving some Silicon Carbide workings into a comment below this post.
Note there are actually a large variation of different conversions that have varying efficiencies (e.g. repair drones creating Energy Cells, Metallic Microlattice and Silicon Carbide all in one transaction), but these would make the post even longer to discuss!
Although there are ways of creating all Terran products from each transaction, stating whether these are more efficient, or not, is hard without identifying what ratios are actually wanted; and also a little pointless considering some of these transactions are over 100% efficient!
submitted by Neverasparename to X4Foundations [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:12 woolen_goose The hard work is almost done, I’m almost free.

NC two weeks.
Fingers crossed my expwBPD doesn’t have his dysfunctional angry family make police reports for him after getting his last items and having zero incentive to hold back on his threats of revenge.
And if you’ve seen my last posts, this is the pwBPD who has a teen rape porn addiction and is not a safe person.
My friend comes tonight to move the items to the basement and he comes to get them this weekend, with my proxy and lawyer present.
I previously asked him in emails to stop being aggressive, argumentative, or threatening while attempting to coordinate so that I could feel safe in having him come pack his own items.
Like a bully and a coward, he refused and continued with several more cruel emails. He essentially forced me to be the one responsible for cleaning his mess, sorting, packing, and moving because he was too dangerous to have in my home. This is not the first discard he has done this but it will definitely be the last.
Meanwhile, he is attempting to find new supply in women 10 years younger than him with all the free time in the world. He got himself posted by other women online and is now exposed to a huge chunk of the local dating pool, I didn’t even have to do anything. Exes contacted me through the post (I said he was my ex) and I found out how much he was cheating on me since the very beginning and other lies.
His mother is a horrible, vengeful, and dysfunctional person who raised a clone of herself with the additional issue of her codling / enabling making him a little child who never cleans up his own messes but just searches for more new shiny entertainment. She failed him so badly and he has a terrible complicated hateful relationship with her; I feel pity for the next women he decides is his new “mom.”
This is my last day of “being his mom” and can’t wait to be free. My toddler has more kindness, generosity, and empathy in his pinky with tantrums less than half as bad as this full grown adult man.
I’ve run out of sympathy for his traumatic past.
He makes his own choices in life and that is upon him. I hope he gets treatment for his diagnosis so that he doesn’t harm others again.
I hope that he never makes good in his threats and in a few weeks I can post here celebrating with you all that it is my turn to move on from this sub that has saved my sanity.
submitted by woolen_goose to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:11 Pep_It_Up My brother in a coma is being moved to a hospital 40 minutes away without family’s consent or prior notice

Its already hard enough that my brother has been in a coma for almost two months now, but the hospital he was brought to has only told my mom today(as of about an hour or two ago) that he will be moved 40 minutes away to a more permanent hospital, in three hours. My mother is distraught because she regrets signing the insurance waiver, she didn’t know what else to do because we dont have enough money to fully pay for his treatment and now because she signed that, they are somehow able to move him wherever they want without our consent or prior notice. She visits everyday. And they only told her this morning, how many days have they planned this and not notified us??? We keep getting more worried this hospital doesn’t have any intention to help him recover, they are the ones who caused him to have so much brain damage because he was practically unresponsive for 12 whole minutes after having a heart attack and not having any help that whole time while under their care for a high fever(its what caused his coma state). Is this the right time to start getting a lawyer? I feel like this is getting out of hand. He went to the hospital for a high fever, had a heart attack and wasn’t helped for 12 whole minutes(his heart stopped) and he’s been in a coma. Not to mention the hospital NEVER told us about his heart attack until they couldn’t get him to wake up. He was getting better but lately his health has been rocky and now, out of no where the hospital is moving him without our consent and only notifying us the same day they are moving him??!! I am so lost and I just want whats best for my brother’s recovery.
submitted by Pep_It_Up to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:11 billybob70164 I(M22) and fiancé(f23) are having problems with my family

To start off with, you need some background info. Growing up, I was very different from my family. I was there opposite in many ways and I think they still see me as a lazy little boy because I didn’t like physical stuff and sports growing up but my siblings did, especially my brother. I (M) am 22 freaking years old, a point my family brings up often but they don’t treat me like it. I met my fiancé (f23) in high school and our relationship grew from there. A few years later, we go to different colleges. She goes to a cheaper but very good college. I got to a college my family recommended but was very expensive. I go for two years and both years I try for the PTA program but don’t make it each time. I figure since twice is probably enough, I decided to switch colleges and majors. I choose to go to my fiancés college because a) it’s cheaper than $8,000 for a semester and b) my fiancé is there. At first, my family is very against it. My father calls me a “dumbass” for wanted to transfer and I try to them that one of my reason is for saving money. Anyway, I eventually transfer there and become a biology major and it’s great. My family saves money, I even get some money back from my tuitions and grants.
Well, two years later my fiancé graduates, but I don’t. After she graduates, she immediately starts looking for a job. She can’t find any except for a small, family owned business. She looks into it and the pay isn’t very good and there are hardly any benefits to go with it. We can’t stay up there for much longer because I didn’t have a job either for the summer (because I was a student worker). Eventually, my family offers us their outdoor kitchen and it’s a shithole. But we clean it up and make it our little shithole and it’s not great but that’s ok. Anyway, after we move, we both start looking for jobs because my fiancé and I decided that I should take a break from college for a bit and try to get a job so I can save money. So I start looking for jobs. Fiancé gets a job at the parish library as IT, because that was apart of her degree. But I can’t find one. I applied to many places and none of them responded back to me. Well I apply for the library too. I don’t get a full time position but according to my family, they aren’t charging us rent for the outdoor kitchen but they did say that if I don’t get a job, they would kick us out. Well I get the library job but it’s not good enough. They bring up “we aren’t charging you rent, but you need to make the most money you can”.
Well dad has a friend that works in an internet and cabel company as a manager. Dad sente up the interview and I go to get him out my ass. Well I get hired and it’s physical work, great. I decided I would give it a chance and I honestly tried. I gave it about a month. Well in that month, the guy who’s friends with my dad, let’s call him Grain, calls my dad and tells him that I take awhile climbing up the ladder (and please keep in mind that o have hardly ever climbed ladders before). Well dad calls me when I’m on my way home and says “what’s going on with the ladder?” and I’m like “what do you mean?” That’s when I find out Grain called him. I tell dad that I’m fine. Well, a little later, I have to give my work truck to someone else so that they can have a truck to use and I go with them to observe them. Since im not driving, I figured it wouldn’t be a problem if I played on my phone. Well, yesterday I was with a guy(Chad) and we had just finished our last job when another worker(Jay) was pulling in behind us. Jay asked Chad want the problem was at the customers house and Chad told him. Well Jay had come to work on a mode just a little further down so he continues on. Well Chad and I get back in the truck and Chad follows Jay and parks by him. Chad grabs none of his tools, doesn’t even say anything when he gets out the truck. And Jay is still on the ground, setting up his ladder to climb the poll. I stay in the truck because I figured they were just talking. I was keeping an eye on them just in case so I could get out and help if they needed it but nope. Chad gets back in the truck not five mine later and we leave. We head back to the office and as I’m putting my stuff up, Grain say he wants to go talk in his office. I finish and go meet him.
Apparently Chad and Jay told him that I didn’t get out the truck and stayed there to play on my phone. I guess that was a mistake on my part but oh well I guess. Anyway, I tell Grain my side of the story and his words were “it’s ok, there’s no hard feelings” he then ask me if I like my job and I tell him that it’s not really for me but it’s ok. It’s something I could do for a bit, but not something I want my end profession to be. He says ok and that’s that or so I thought. Well, Grain tells dad what happened because they are best buddies and dad freaking lays into me. Telling me how I’m lazy, how I have a pussy, how if he hears that I’m on my phone again he’s going to break it. Now dad wants me to apologize to Grain because apparently he’s the only reason I haven’t been fired even though there is another guy that wants to take my place (even thought there are only 4 techs, including me, covering 1,000 people) and that Grains supervisor wants me gone. According to dad, if I quit or get fired, he kicks us to the curb.
So idfk what to do here. I talked it over with my fiancé and she thinks that I shouldn’t apologize but that I should acknowledge that I made a mistake. But I’m sure that if I don’t apologize, Grain gonna go crying back to dad and then I’m get it.
Any advice is helpful. Thank you.
I know that it’s a lot but I wanted it to be known what the whole situation is. I don’t know what I should do with my family.
submitted by billybob70164 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:11 KyleKKent Out of Cruel Space, Part 707

First
Capes and Conundrums
“... I think we have some glitches in the programming.” Pavel remarks as the drone opponents for lower level events start... well they’re either straight up malfunctioning and thrashing around, or they’re breakdancing. Badly.
Either way it’s bad.
“God damnit, and here I was trying to make them do the macarena.” The Drone programmer mutters. “God damn, making a program that simulates a person’s sense of balance is a bitch and a half, even if ninety eight percent is just copy and paste bullshit. It’s the god damn code spackle between them that’s fucking everything up, and that’s if there isn’t god damn copy degradation with my copy and paste routine.”
“We done?” Pavel asks.
“Maybe in another hour... but your shift ends in half an hour. You can go. Your replacement will be here long before I’m ready with this. Defragging new code and running the test programs takes at least an hour and a half with this program.”
“Can’t you trim it down or something?” Pavel asks and the programmer downright slams his laptop closed.
“Trim it down? Oh gosh golly gee! Why didn’t I think of that.”
“Okay, I’m sorry I...”
“Wow! Do you have any other incredible insights to offer!? Like turning off the gravity so you don’t fall.”
“I get it, I’m sorry...”
“Or maybe make it so people just aren’t allowed to miss when shooting a gun! Then everyone can be a sniper!”
“I get it, shut up or I’ll show you some fucking sniper.” Pavel says and he turns to stalk out of the testing room.
“Oh no you don’t. You clearly don’t know how god damned hard coding is so you’re going to spend the rest of your shift with me as I code even if it accomplishes nothing at all, Nothing At All. NOTHING AT ALL!!”
“Good god man! What crawled up your cockpipe!?”
“Idiot jocks who don’t know what they’re talking about!” The programmer snaps back as he opens up his laptop again and quickly gets back to work.
Pavel’s response to things is to loom annoyingly over him. It takes about three minutes before the programmer slams the back of his head into Pavel’s stomach.
•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•
“Gentlemen I am very disappointed. I understand that there are differences between soldiers and tensions between species. But I am unwilling to tolerate friendly on friendly attack.” Admiral Hynala states. “Now, before I hear about how the situation devolved into... this...”
He gestures to the two scuffed up men with visible bruises and markings.
“I am going to detail the disciplinary actions I’m going to take.” He states and both of them look concerned. They should be.
“I don’t care who started it. I don’t care about the circumstances. You two are both Undaunted, you two are both part of the same armed force and need to work together. So from this moment onwards you are doing all your work together. No if’s, and’s or buts. For the next two months you two are paired up on all patrols, guard duty and further duties besides. So congratulations Sniper Zeman you now have a spotter. Electronic Warfare Specialist Blake? You now have a bodyguard. You also now have hunchmen Misters Deadshot and Anarchy.”
“But sir!” Blake protest.
“No! I will not have my men attacking each other! A friendly brawl is expected, even encouraged! But you two destroyed Undaunted property in that pointless, stupid fight and I will not have it!” Admiral Hynala states and both men wince a little.
“Now that we have determined your punishment. You will tell me what happened.” Admiral Hynala states before pulling out a coin and flipping it. Specialist Blake. You will begin. In your own words, how did this fight start.”
“It started because a meathead opened his fat mouth and wrote checks his ass couldn’t cash.” Blake mutters.
“Really?” Admiral Hynala’s tone is so dry it actually seems to be sucking the moisture out of the air.
“Sir... there are innumerable difficult and delicate procedures in order to properly code and program. It is not an easy thing to do. When he suggested I start trimming code, he displayed an absolutely stupefying ignorance of just how much work and review goes into coding to begin with and downright insulted me.” Blake states. “It’s like suggesting you get everything done by just stamping your name on things at random.”
“Specialist Blake. Do you know what the correct course of action when someone insults you as a result of their own ignorance?”
“Sir?”
“You ignore it. Their ignorance has already proven that the insult comes from a place of weakness. It is fundamentally proof that they don’t know what they’re talking about and are best ignored and if not ignored, humoured.”
“Yes sir.”
“Now, Sniper Zeman. I would like your recount of events.” Admiral Hynala orders.
“The whole shift leading up to it or just the incident in question sir?”
“Both and in that order.”
“Well sir, my shift was to provide protection if things went off and assist in the testing of more advanced villain drones. During it I noticed Specialist Blake growing more frustrated as he tried many, many different algorithms and programs to try and get smoother and more effective movements into the drones. He tried numerous things from combat attempts to dance moves and just got more and more frustrated. I don’t even fully remember the conversation in question. It was nothing but small talk and he suddenly loses all his patience. This was directly after he told me I could leave and then he reverses that choice and tells me I can stay.”
“Which is when you did something.”
“Yes, he told me to stay so I stood obnoxiously close and this of course provoked a reaction. Sir... I apologize for my part in this affair and provoking an already incensed man.”
“I know you have a date with Miss Ripfang, it is on hold until this meeting is done and attempting to simply appease me will make me hold you longer. We are dealing with this issue and that is that.” Admiral Hynala states.
“Yes sir.” Pavel says.
“Now, these actions are not acceptable and your modified schedules will be sent to you both shortly. If I hear of any further fights between you two there will be a day of payment docked and you will both be in front of me again. I don’t want to have to take money and privileges from my soldiers, but I will if I have to. You gentlemen are Undaunted. You are not the best of the best, you are better. No matter what challenge you face you are better. Act like it.”
“Sir, yes sir.”
“Dismissed. You both are off duty for the remainder of the day without pay.”
“Yes sir.”
“Sir, I’m nowhere near finished the program.”
“Let it sit Specialist. It’s not a bomb in need of defusal.”
“But Sir!”
“No buts. You let emotion control you. You’re off duty for the remainder of the day.”
“Yes sir...”
Both men are then sent from the office with a slight jerk of the Admiral’s head and leave. Pavel heaves a huge sigh of annoyance and disgust before rubbing at his nose and then just leaving the area without speaking to Blake who clenches and unclenches his fists in rage.
Pavel rushes through the ship and only takes the time to grab a proper jacket before rushing out tot he landing bay and leaping out.
The hot and ash tinged air of Skathac is welcome as it makes it feel like the earlier events are an entire world away. He sucks in a deep breath and lest out a wordless bellow to both vent his frustration and warn any Sonir to clear a path, an Unduanted is coming.
He conjured a flat pane barrier and slams his feet into it to redirect his momentum. There’s a bit too much sideways movement so he bleeds it off with a spin and keeps going.
His boot comes down on the head of a gargoyle and he launches himself along, grabbing the corner of a building and swinging hard to keep moving. His eyes narrow as he focuses and he’s suddenly down the street and coming up on another corner to grab and swing around.
More focus as he begins to descend and he bounces off the canopy above a cafe and translates the momentum to the side to flip to the ground.
“Pavel! You... I was worried that... what happened?” Dot Ripfang asks him and he sighs. It looks like she’s been waiting for a while under the canopy and that’s on him. That’s on him and his getting into a fight.
“Some drama with the other Undaunted. Nothing to be worried about, although my schedule is abotu to be shaken up.”
“Oh! That’s not good, are you in trouble?” She asks and he winces a bit.
“A little. I got into a small fight with another soldier and a few things got broken in the process. So of course the Admiral’s response is to pair us up for the next two months. We’re either going to kill each other or settle our issues.”
“And what is the issue.”
“That’s the stupid part. There isn’t one. He was just getting frustrated and the small talk I was using to pass the time set him off. A stupid little mistake but now we’re both in trouble.” Pavel says with a shrug. “Sometimes things happen, you just disagree or say something that’s the particular sensitive subject of the poor bastard and it sets them off. Of course since you’re fine you think that them going off the handle is stupid so you respond in your own way, which makes it worse and back and forth until you’re throwing hands. It happens. The boss knows it happens but he has to punish anyways.”
“Oh... I see...”
“Anyways, that’s more than enough about my issues. What’s going on with you. You sounded like things were pretty important when you set up this meeting today. Is something going wrong?”
“It... well... you know my family is just on vacation to Skathac right?” Dot asks and Pavel nods.
“Is it coming to an end?” He asks and she nods herself this time.
“Yes and... well... I just don’t know how we’re going to make this work at a distance. We’re... I mean... this isn’t some runaway romance and we’re not trying to just force it so... I mean...”
“It’s alright to break it off. There’s no shame in that.” Pavel says. “Better to date around and find out you’re not mixing that well then to force along a relationship that isn’t working. Especially at long range.”
“Really? But I’ve heard so many stories about humans being so intent on making things work! I’ve browsed a few... Oh dear... it’s because of me isn’t it?”
“No it’s not. It’s that humans are different. There’s no big spark between us despite actually liking each other, that’s fine. A friendship is a valuable thing. Even if it’s not a grand one.”
“Oh... well... We’re going home tomorrow and I was wondering how to say goodbye. We haven’t really gotten anywhere but we’ve been trying to make it work and... I just don’t know.”
“Not what you expected?”
“No. Not at all.”
“Not bad I hope.”
“No, it hasn’t been bad. It’s just not what I expected.” She admits and he shrugs.
“Well, that’s not a bad thing then. I’m not really sure what else to say. I’m sorry we don’t have more time to make this work, but we apparently don’t. If you’re not broken up about this, then I have even less reason to be. We tried, it didn’t work. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“But there should be! A big cavation with excitement and a whirlwind romance is what’s in all the movies and stories and... and...”
“And that’s because there are few stories about things just being normal and fine. It’s too boring to put into video format.” Pavel says.
“It just doesn’t feel right though. I should want this more, we should be really trying harder and... I don’t know, it shouldn’t be hard to want someone!”
“... Let’s put it to the test.” Pavel says and she gives him an odd look. “Let’s kiss, if there’s anything other than pheromones we’ll keep trying. If it’s just pheromones though, we break it off as friends. Okay?”
Dot considers it for a few moments before nodding and then reaching over the table to pick him up by the shirt. There’s a hesitation in her movements as she rises up and pulls him up to her. Then her lips met his and the tongues meet as well and... they both just go still as things go from weird to very awkward.
She sets him down gently with a sigh. “The heat’s there but that’s just... I mean... I want it. But it’s... its IT I want... not...”
“Not me. That’s fine. We’re not clicking, that’s okay.” Pavel says before gesturing back to the table. “My friend, would you care to join me for a meal?”
“I’d like that.” She says softly.

First Last
PS: Ye Gods I have not been sleeping well with the smoke. It's also making me go through more meltdowns than average. I'm taking a nap after posting this then putting down the author's comment. Sorry for it being late.
submitted by KyleKKent to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:11 Ok_Director3051 im losing the one thing i had left

not really a throwaway but i don’t use this acc often and just needed someone to hear me.
in the past 10 months, my girlfriend and i have had the most steady decline in our relationship i’ve ever had. we were so happy a year ago this time. it’s been a long journey with splitting, coping with my episodes, and navigating through hard situations together.
it won’t get better. it hasn’t. my bpd has been a demon inhabiting my body for years and it won’t get better. no matter what i do or try, everyday ends with a meltdown over something in regards to my gf. some days it’s mild, we can end the day on a good note. some days it’s awful and the entire day is scrapped.
i can’t cope with everyday human activities. i can’t be left alone for more than 10 minutes without having a meltdown. i’ve been crying uncontrollably for hours because she went to sleep, after i kept her up arguing about it for an hour and a half.
my bpd is awful. it’s only getting worse. i’m so angry with her everyday for everything. i’ve been trying my hardest to treat her better than i used to, and i have made progress. but now, i’ve started resorting to pushing her away and isolating myself. my once petulant bpd has now become more quiet.
we don’t talk anymore. i’m so drained, when we text i can’t bring myself to actually have a conversation, it’s just dry talk.
during my episodes, when i lash out, she gets really mean and escalates everything. she didn’t use to do that. we used to be able to communicate effectively and fix the problem. but now, it’s awful.
i don’t want my relationship to end. but i want to stop feeling so much pain over someone who i’m supposed to be happy with. i love her and i don’t want to break up. but i’m not seeing any other options due to the dark place our relationship has gone to.
submitted by Ok_Director3051 to BPD [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:10 Nameless_and_ignored The pain of a Lawbringer main after watching the July 8 Warrior's Den.

I'll be honest, those guys don't know what to do with Lawbringer, they gave him tools he don't need and ignored his necessities.
Lawbringer always struggles a lot from neutral for 2 reasons:
  1. He cannot do ANYTHING against players who dodge rolls against him (massive issue in 4s, mainly after getting a revenge);
  2. Lawbringer have 0 chain pressure after light attacks;
  3. His foward dodge Shove is pretty much reactable to high level players and side dodge have 0 Iframes (unlike Shugoki and Conqueror for example).
I don't know why is so hard to give Lawbringer a foward dodge attack to chase players, is that really hard?
Since Lawbringer have 0 chain pressure after light attacks, why did they gave him triple light chains, to not be used? The ONLY 2 CHANGES:
  1. Make every light attack 500ms and enhanced;
  2. Give him Shove mix-up after any light, leading directly into his unblockable heavy pressure if he want to throw it.
Making Lawbringer able to throw these triple light chains is worthless and unviable, also it will change nothing on him from neutral, he will still be turtling a lot.
I'm aware of the Shove buff he might get, but again, if the Shove is going to be buffed, why even bother to give him triple lights, just to be more obnoxious in lower levels and less viable in higher levels? What are you on, Ubi?
Lawbringer were always broken in general for a couple of reasons:
  1. His broken Guard break OOS punish that deals guaranteed 66 damage (which can be accessed after a Blind justice that leads the opponent to OOS status, potentially dealing 91 damage, probably the most broken damage in this game and the highest comeback potential in the game too);
  2. Stamina damage, stamina pause and stun after any form of top heavies;
  3. Impaling riposte, a move that guarantees ledges or 24 HP damage and 30 stamina damage + pause + stun;
  4. Light riposte, a light that stuns the opponent and leads them to guess what will Lawbringer do next (a 400ms top chain light or 500ms side lights, impossible to react to... at least to most players).
His stamina damage, stamina pause and stuns were addressed (THANK GOD) and looking at those weird damage values Lawbringer now has, it looks like the obsessive and broken OOS GB punish is also gone (THANK GOD 2X), but they transformed his moveset into something he was never supposed to have:
  1. A feintable chain bash (literally no one asked for this, literally no one);
  2. Hyper armor on chain heavies (aren't Lawbringer supposed to parry dodge attacks instead of trading damage since... he guarantees 30 damage top heavies or Guard break that also guarantee a heavy opener? Also his chain heavies are dealing 20 damage so... what are you on, Ubi?);
  3. Vortexable 30 damage unblockable finishers (instead of keeping the unreactable chain bash mix-up on Lawbringer after heavies and lights like I suggested, they gave him this infinite for some reason);
  4. Impaling riposte now only guaranteed after a light parry (in my opinion the Impaling riposte should be REMOVED from the game and the impaling charge should be a 600ms unblockable bash just like Crashing charge or Stampede charge, guaranteeing a top heavy after reaching the wall, Lawbringer should never had Impaling riposte, this move is busted even after light parries, it still leading to ledges in duels and still useless in ganks/anti-ganks, the use is very limited so... why even bother to keep this? Remove it, use Blind justice on light parries please).
Last, but not least, Zone attack and Long arm changes:
For some reason they gave him a chain starter zone attacks... this is one of the biggest issues, why does Lawbringer needs that? Zone was used as a keep-out tool, you should not attack Lawbringer after throwing a zone, you would have to wait and approach by walking.
The only 2 buffs his zone attack need is:
  1. Buff the speed to 600ms (fro, 700ms, 700ms is too slow) but with short recoveries, allowing him to react to things;
  2. Reduce it's stamina cost to 30 (from 60, 60 is too high).
I don't know why they simply ignored Make way, do they even know this move exist? Buff it's speed to 600ms too and reduce the stamina cost to 30.
They kept Lawbringer's Long arm 1000ms instead of making it 900ms like any other long pin Ganking tool, not just that but they removed it from Guard break while making it's damage absurdly high by guaranteeing something like 28 damage from a top heavy opener + Swift justice combo tap.
This move becomes even more unviable by doing that, not only might trigger the third hitstun way more often but also makes Lawbringer vulnerable to attacks AND feeds a lot more of revenge, but I know how to fix that:
  1. Buff Long arm to 900ms (from 1000ms);
  2. Give Lawbringer an special guaranteed heavy follow-up that deals 25 damage, leading to his chain Shove mix-up (or heavy / enhanced lights) pressure;
  3. Give back Long arm on GB.
My honest thoughts about Lawbringer:
I'm not a fan of those changes, I'm hating those changes (except the stamina damage, stamina pause and stun changes), this new Testing Grounds will literally be the same thing but less broken, they didn't addressed any of Lawbringer's main issues and makes him stronger in things he was already good at, I don't get it, if the TG don't change anything about his actual state, why is this TG a thing?
I really wanna read your opinion, guys, share your thoughts with me, please.
submitted by Nameless_and_ignored to CompetitiveForHonor [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:10 ExtremeEmotional1290 my (24F) boyfriend (26M) smiled crack and lied about it.

Hello, not really sure to start this. But unfortunately the title is true. Let me give some of our background before continuing. I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for 4 years. We’ve been living together for 3 of those 4 years.
I grew up with drug addicted parents who would drive high, abuse my sibling & I, steal pills from hospitals, & they traumatized me to no end. Im very vocal about the trauma it has caused me. I have diagnosed borderline personality disorder & CPTSD. Thankfully, my parents are sober & happy now. But regardless, my partner is VERY AWARE of how I feel about drugs & alcohol. Now for my boyfriend, his father is a deadbeat drug addict & diagnosed narcissist. His mother is a very caring woman. She’s actually come to our house before to calm my boyfriend down during one of his drunken rampages. She is incredibly sweet.
So,all of that aside, a week or two ago my partner came home from his POS “friends” MOTHERS house. He was sweating, he stunk, he looked like he’d done thirty lines of coke. Which I was already pissed about. I confront him immediately. He lies to me and says he just “drank some beers.” I refused to believe him. I stayed up until 3am crying. He didn’t care.
Flash forward to last night, when he randomly tells me he “doesn’t like me anymore” & I started drinking beer almost immediately after he said that to cope, so I’ll admit I was quite drunk during all of this. Anyways, he then tells me that I “don’t love him.” And he is “unsure if I’m the one for him.” Obviously I lose it, I run out to my car & lock the doors and start punching myself & screaming. After the sheer hell he has put me through, while I stuck by his side loyal as all hell, I still can’t fathom that he’s uncertain if I’m the one for him. He then follows me, tries to get into my car & when i don’t let him he goes back inside. I calm down after about 15-20 minutes of pure insanity & I walk into the house & basically run into the spare bedroom with my beers, still crying. He starts banging on the locked door & begging me to open it. So I do. He starts saying all this bullshit about how he’s “so sorry & doesn’t know why he is the way he is, and he’s disgusted with himself.” I refused to feed into his BS & told him to get mental help. He then starts fake crying like literally no tears….. incredibly disturbing to witness… but anyways he’s begging me to forgive him & bla bla bla. So to avoid my night turning to shit I pretend to forgive him and things got good. We were listening to music and talking about him getting help. Then, he gets comfortable again & tells me “that night a few weeks ago, when you asked me what I was on & I lied, I actually smoked crack.” I INSTANTLY flip out & start sobbing & having a panic attack to the point I can’t even breathe at all. I eventually get it together & demand he tells me who offered him fucking crack. He tells me it’s his two douchebag friends who I’ve hated since day 1. So, stupid and drunk me goes & messages these two assholes & tells them I’m going to ruin their lives. I even said I wished they would come over so I can run them over with my car. (To be honest, I don’t really regret this part too much. I’ve always known they are bad news & im kinda glad I told them to get fucked. aha.) And my boyfriend finds out I messaged them & loses it on me. He tells me I’m untrustworthy, which is super funny because all I did was message the people that literally did the crack with him…. It’s not like they don’t know. Lmfao. But I don’t really know where to go from here. I’ve been medicated, in therapy & happy for almost 6 months straight. Like the happiest I’ve ever been. Today all day at work I was distracted & just not myself. I feel empty, and sad. I feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest. Feel free to leave advice in the comments, or any uplifting quotes or suggestions for me.
submitted by ExtremeEmotional1290 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:09 Nameless_and_ignored The pain of a Lawbringer main after watching the July 8 Warrior's Den.

I'll be honest, those guys don't know what to do with Lawbringer, they gave him tools he don't need and ignored his necessities.
Lawbringer always struggles a lot from neutral for 2 reasons:
  1. He cannot do ANYTHING against players who dodge rolls against him (massive issue in 4s, mainly after getting a revenge);
  2. Lawbringer have 0 chain pressure after light attacks;
  3. His foward dodge Shove is pretty much reactable to high level players and side dodge have 0 Iframes (unlike Shugoki and Conqueror for example).
I don't know why is so hard to give Lawbringer a foward dodge attack to chase players, is that really hard?
Since Lawbringer have 0 chain pressure after light attacks, why did they gave him triple light chains, to not be used? The ONLY 2 CHANGES:
  1. Make every light attack 500ms and enhanced;
  2. Give him Shove mix-up after any light, leading directly into his unblockable heavy pressure if he want to throw it.
Making Lawbringer able to throw these triple light chains is worthless and unviable, also it will change nothing on him from neutral, he will still be turtling a lot.
I'm aware of the Shove buff he might get, but again, if the Shove is going to be buffed, why even bother to give him triple lights, just to be more obnoxious in lower levels and less viable in higher levels? What are you on, Ubi?
Lawbringer were always broken in general for a couple of reasons:
  1. His broken Guard break OOS punish that deals guaranteed 66 damage (which can be accessed after a Blind justice that leads the opponent to OOS status, potentially dealing 91 damage, probably the most broken damage in this game and the highest comeback potential in the game too);
  2. Stamina damage, stamina pause and stun after any form of top heavies;
  3. Impaling riposte, a move that guarantees ledges or 24 HP damage and 30 stamina damage + pause + stun;
  4. Light riposte, a light that stuns the opponent and leads them to guess what will Lawbringer do next (a 400ms top chain light or 500ms side lights, impossible to react to... at least to most players).
His stamina damage, stamina pause and stuns were addressed (THANK GOD) and looking at those weird damage values Lawbringer now has, it looks like the obsessive and broken OOS GB punish is also gone (THANK GOD 2X), but they transformed his moveset into something he was never supposed to have:
  1. A feintable chain bash (literally no one asked for this, literally no one);
  2. Hyper armor on chain heavies (aren't Lawbringer supposed to parry dodge attacks instead of trading damage since... he guarantees 30 damage top heavies or Guard break that also guarantee a heavy opener? Also his chain heavies are dealing 20 damage so... what are you on, Ubi?);
  3. Vortexable 30 damage unblockable finishers (instead of keeping the unreactable chain bash mix-up on Lawbringer after heavies and lights like I suggested, they gave him this infinite for some reason);
  4. Impaling riposte now only guaranteed after a light parry (in my opinion the Impaling riposte should be REMOVED from the game and the impaling charge should be a 600ms unblockable bash just like Crashing charge or Stampede charge, guaranteeing a top heavy after reaching the wall, Lawbringer should never had Impaling riposte, this move is busted even after light parries, it still leading to ledges in duels and still useless in ganks/anti-ganks, the use is very limited so... why even bother to keep this? Remove it, use Blind justice on light parries please).
Last, but not least, Zone attack and Long arm changes:
For some reason they gave him a chain starter zone attacks... this is one of the biggest issues, why does Lawbringer needs that? Zone was used as a keep-out tool, you should not attack Lawbringer after throwing a zone, you would have to wait and approach by walking.
The only 2 buffs his zone attack need is:
  1. Buff the speed to 600ms (fro, 700ms, 700ms is too slow) but with short recoveries, allowing him to react to things;
  2. Reduce it's stamina cost to 30 (from 60, 60 is too high).
I don't know why they simply ignored Make way, do they even know this move exist? Buff it's speed to 600ms too and reduce the stamina cost to 30.
They kept Lawbringer's Long arm 1000ms instead of making it 900ms like any other long pin Ganking tool, not just that but they removed it from Guard break while making it's damage absurdly high by guaranteeing something like 28 damage from a top heavy opener + Swift justice combo tap.
This move becomes even more unviable by doing that, not only might trigger the third hitstun way more often but also makes Lawbringer vulnerable to attacks AND feeds a lot more of revenge, but I know how to fix that:
  1. Buff Long arm to 900ms (from 1000ms);
  2. Give Lawbringer an special guaranteed heavy follow-up that deals 25 damage, leading to his chain Shove mix-up (or heavy / enhanced lights) pressure;
  3. Give back Long arm on GB.
My honest thoughts about Lawbringer:
I'm not a fan of those changes, I'm hating those changes (except the stamina damage, stamina pause and stun changes), this new Testing Grounds will literally be the same thing but less broken, they didn't addressed any of Lawbringer's main issues and makes him stronger in things he was already good at, I don't get it, if the TG don't change anything about his actual state, why is this TG a thing?
I really wanna read your opinion, guys, share your thoughts with me, please.
submitted by Nameless_and_ignored to forhonor [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:09 epelthins I feel really stupid right now

I’ve been trying to get back to work after taking a break for my mental health for a few months. I’ve only had a few interviews and they’ve been really anxiety-inducing for me because I have a hard time figuring out what to say. I brought this up to my psychologist and she told me that it’s commonplace to practice for interviews. In fact, most people do that. I’ve always been under the impression that people kinda just knew what to say, and they might prepare a little bit, but most of them just know how to talk. I’m the one that doesn’t know how to talk, in my mind, because I’m not perfectly articulate unless I give myself the time and space to prepare what I have to say. My psychologist said that this might be because of my OCD, and it literally just didn’t occur to me that that might be the issue. Is there any way to work around the feeling that I need to be perfect at everything the first time I try it?
submitted by epelthins to OCDRecovery [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:09 Hannah_LL7 Unsure on what needs to change

My husband and I have been in a “slump” now for probably a year. I got pregnant with my son and I really struggled with my pregnancy and I hold a lot of resentment for my spouse during that time because he wasn’t that supportive. (iE: I had horrible morning sickness one day and I spent the day in bed, he came in around 1 pm and asked when I would be getting up because I’d been in bed all day) that was one of the only days I spent in bed luckily. When I was postpartum, he “disappeared” (hung out with his dad and grandpa, went of to the gym or worked in the garage all day) and left my mom and his mom to take care of me and the baby, he did however, take our toddler with him some of the time. But I still had to pack her bag and call him to remind him to take her to the bathroom. He doesn’t like to hold our baby for more than 5 minutes and would rather he just scream and cry in the baby swing. Our son is now 4 months and I don’t really like to let my husband watch him alone because he will swaddle him in a blanket and leave him to cry in the bedroom alone until he falls asleep. (He told me this one time when I came back from running to the grocery store, and I was only gone for about 20 minutes but it did bother me). My husband can also occasionally be rude to our daughter (he almost treats her like a little sister and will tease her and she will cry) besides his parenting the thing that has really been driving us apart is that we haven’t been able to agree on anything lately! We will mention something (usually with finances) and then both just be on opposite ends. For me it’s frustrating because I feel like my opinion is never heard because I’m the SAHM, but I’m also the one who runs the budget (we both like it this way) or I will suggest we do something a certain way and he will just not listen or say “no” (IE: We are currently moving and we have a small mostly glass China cabinet, I asked him to wrap it in bubble wrap before we moved it into the trailer so it doesn’t break, he said no at first then I explained why I wanted it wrapped, he said “alright I’ll leave it in the garage and you can bubble wrap it” I came back from nursing the baby and it was in the trailer behind boxes.) Stuff like this just keeps happening, and it’s frustrating the heck out of me! (Another example is: when I was about to have the baby he showed me this truck on FB marketplace that he wanted and I told him I didn’t think it was worth the price and to wait until we move so we could afford a new car as we had no payments. When I was 3 weeks postpartum he disappeared and came home with truck, had bought the truck and now we have a payment. That’s not the first time he’s done something like that either.) for me, it’s just like he literally could not give a single crap about my opinions or wants. When I told him this, he said that he feels like his opinions on raising the kids don’t matter to me and he has no say. When I asked what he wanted to change he said, “I feel like we are raising sissys” and I realized what he meant. I don’t believe in spanking our kids and he wanted me to allow him to spank them and do CIO. He’s military so I already devote my whole life to following him around for his job. He’s also just been so negative and political lately (he has said more than once that “all women are whores” and yes, it was said around my 3 year old daughter) and it’s just kind of draining to have to tell him not to say dumb stuff in front of the kids and ME! On the flip side I sometimes wonder if it’s me because IVE also been so angry and grouchy. I’m sleep deprived (baby is in the 4 month sleep regression) and I just feel like I carry all of the mental load of the family. Plus I am stubborn and I do like to have things go my way. I wonder if I’m just gaslighting myself because he can be helpful, he does work hard, he will clean the house for me, he’s never ever yelled at me, we really do love each other and he does take our toddler to fun places. And he has done wonders to help repair his childhood trauma (his mom is a narcissist who verbally and physically beat her kids, his sister does the same. He knows I don’t want that and he tries to keep calm when our toddler is freaking out) but with all this, I’m just at a loss. I feel mentally fried and tired. And like I said, I just carry lots of resentment for him as a parent. Where do we even go from here?
submitted by Hannah_LL7 to Marriage [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:08 drmxyzptlk13 r/Indianmedschool will be locked down for 48 hrs starting 12th June to join the protest against Reddit's API changes eliminating 3rd party apps.

Cross-posted from medicalschool What's going on?
A recent Reddit policy change threatens to kill many beloved third-party mobile apps, making a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users. It would also make break many accessibility apps, making Reddit unusable for folks who need these tools.
On May 31, 2023, Reddit announced they were raising the price to make calls to their API from being free to a level that will kill every third party app on Reddit, from Apollo to Reddit is Fun to Narwhal to BaconReader.
Even if you're not a mobile user and don't use any of those apps, this is a step toward killing other ways of customizing Reddit, such as Reddit Enhancement Suite or the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface .
This isn't only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.
What's the plan?
On June 12th, many subreddits will be going dark to protest this policy. Some will return after 48 hours: others will go away permanently unless the issue is adequately addressed, since many moderators aren't able to put in the work they do with the poor tools available through the official app. This isn't something any of us do lightly: we do what we do because we love Reddit, and we truly believe this change will make it impossible to keep doing what we love.
What can you do?
1. Complain. Message the mods of /reddit.com, who are the admins of the site: message reddit: submit a support request: comment in relevant threads on /reddit, such as this one, leave a negative review on their official iOS or Android app- and sign your username in support to this post.
2. Spread the word. Rabble-rouse on related subreddits. Meme it up, make it spicy. Bitch about it to your cat. Suggest anyone you know who moderates a subreddit join us at our sister sub at /ModCoord- but please don't pester mods you don't know by simply spamming their modmail.
3. Boycott and spread the word...to Reddit's competition! Stay off Reddit entirely on June 12th through the 13th- instead, take to your favorite non-Reddit platform of choice and make some noise in support!
4. Don't be a jerk. As upsetting this may be, threats, profanity and vandalism will be worse than useless in getting people on our side. Please make every effort to be as restrained, polite, reasonable and law-abiding as possible.
submitted by drmxyzptlk13 to indianmedschool [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:07 mintjuulpodd What’s this girls issue? Help lol

I posted this before but it got buried. So I (20f) am acquaintances with this girl at school (28?f) because we had the same classes and went into the same program. When classes started she seemed sweet so we became school friends. I have went on lunch break with her but I can’t see myself hanging truly outside of school. Anyways, I’ve come to find her personality is a bit rude. It’s hard for me to not like someone but the things she does is honestly about to make me snap. But I want advice so I don’t end up being too rude.
Basically she is academically competitive, condescending and talks to me like I’m dumb. I hate asking her questions now because she answers in a tone as if she thinks I’m stupid. She will ask what I made on a test and the one time I decide to tell her, I specifically stated that “im actually pretty proud of myself because it’s the highest I’ve gotten in this class” and her first thought was to quickly respond with “hah I got a higher grade”. Like wtf, I always congratulate her when she boasts about her achievements. I compliment her too but I’ve never gotten a compliment from her about anything EVER. She also never seems interested when im talking and will even talk over me. She always has to be the main one talking in our groups. I haven’t even gotten to the rest of what she does though.
So I thought when our core classes ended and our program started that she would be less annoying, nope. The other week she told two of us our pants are ugly cause they’re mom jeans. She also started off a sentence with “not saying im smarter than you guys but” and I zoned out after the rest but me and this girl gave eachother the side eye. Speaking of that, I noticed that she’s not as rude to the other girls who are all around my age. She also was talking about test grades and said something like “im pretty sure I got the highest in the class” and we all got quiet cause it was so random. Today we had a test and we’re discussing it in the bathroom afterwards. She and another were talking about some difficult parts and I wanted to make them feel better by saying that the questions near the end were a bit hard and she quickly says “nahhhh nahhh”. So we take a second test and i got everything right but she just sounded annoyed when she saw my grade (which I wasn’t showing off) rather than saying something like dang okayyy. She’s pretty silent when her grades lower than mine.
She also loves to make me look bad. I remember her saying something like “poor {my name} over here-“ or telling others how a teacher made me cry and saying how she would never let a teacher make her cry. Yesterday is when she pissed me off most. We were doing a skills check and working with instruments together. She kept swatting my hand when it was in the wrong place and again, talked to me like she knew everything and like I was dumb. I didn’t appreciate her swatting my hand like that. My face got so hot with anger, I’m glad that class ended early.
I really try to like her cause she sits next to me and there’s not many of us in our program. Plus we will have this program for a year. but she is so damn rude I almost can’t stand her. Again, it’s hard for me to not like people. What would you guys suggest I do next time she talks down to me? Good comebacks? Just any advice for responses to the things she does. Also, why would you say she acts like this? She considers me a friend but treats me this way so I don’t get it.
submitted by mintjuulpodd to Advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:06 Timmy_8878 Import Experience with Car From Japan.com

Import Experience with Car From Japan.com
Theres a TLDR costs and timelines at the bottom
I am here to detail my full experience importing a Kei truck utilizing carfromjapan.com. Below I will break down my timeline, costs, and how everything went.
First, why I went Kei. This truck is going to be my daily driver for the foreseeable future and I live in South Georgia. After about 6 months of scouring the marketplaces for a cheap pickup I realized everyone down here thinks their 25 year old pickups with 300k+ miles that need engines and transmissions is actually made of solid gold. Interest rates are obnoxious on new cars so I went Kei. It's 3 miles to work on a 30 MPH road.
So with that information my absolute requirements were A/C, low miles, 4x4, and lower miles. On CFJ you can put in all the options you want and save that search. Couple weeks later the truck I wanted popped up.
Clicked the Pay Now button, which reroutes you to PayPal. PayPal has a fairly heavy cost associated.
Vehicle Cost: $2994 Before PayPal: $4355 Shipped. After Paypal: $4942 Shipped.
I was cool with that, about a thousand more than I wanted to spend but thr truck has 34,000 KM, brand new tires and all the options I wanted.
I paid for the truck on 28 March 2023. Between the 28th of March and the shipping date, 30 April, there's just some back and forth with CFJ confirming your personal information to make sure all the documents are in proper order.
On May 15th I recieved my surrendered Bill Of Lading digitally, they don't send hard copies of it, and since it's surrendered it's apparently not a big deal.
Now we hit the part I wasn't ready for, filing my ISF. If you're a regular importer they now require you to use a customs broker, I am not a regular importer, just this one car. What I will tell you is it was 100% worth it to pay TurboISF.com $110 to square it all away. You pay them the rest of customs and duty through them and your paperwork is magically completed after passing them what they need.
Entry and Port Fees Customs Clearance Fee: $200 Import Duty: $781 SSA Terminal: $45 TWIC Escort: $85 Wire Fee: $25
Some of these fees are paid utilizing PayCargo, one required that I use a wire transfer.
Note: when you pay your duty it's only required on the cost of the VEHICLE. CFJ supplies you with a Bill of Sale with just the vehicle so use that one for duty.
After the vehicle arrived and cleared I rented a Uhaul Car Hauler and drove to Jacksonville to get the truck. Fun fact, it's TIGHT, the truck is so thin is barely fits on the supports. Once I arrived at the port I had to go into the port authority, hire an escort who I followed to the terminal. At the terminal they checked my drivers license, showed me where my truck was and I was good to go.
Getting Insurance via Progressive was very smooth. I told them it was an imported truck and gave them a Vin Number and they were good to go.
Insurance: $25 a month Tags: $241 (most of this was sales tax)
Registration in Georgia was easy too. The hardest part was figuring out how to get my Vin inspection done as I'm new to GA and it was a dick dance. Theres a checklist on their website for everything needed for an imported vehicle.
Total Cost breakdown. CFJ: $4355 Paypal: $587 Import Duty: $781.90 Tags: $241 Customs: $200 TurboISF: $110 TWIC Escort: $85 Uhaul: $64 SSA Terminal: $45 Wire Fee: $25 Monthly Insurance: $25
Total: $6408
Timeline: 28 March Vehicle paid for 30 April Vehicle Shipped 15 May Bill of Lading recieved via email 21 May title recieved via DHL 30 May vehicle arrived in Jacksonville 1 June cleared to release 2 June I picked it up.
I think I hit all the highlights. Everyone in the process is very nice and understood that I'm a dipshit who didn't know what I was doing so that was nice. No one ever treated me like an idiot even though I know they thought it.
submitted by Timmy_8878 to keitruck [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:06 Throwawayacc_i983b Mischaracterization, Retconing, and other things that are holding this season back from perfection

Let’s talk about Cleo. She’s being completely retconned as a vain bitch. She was, a smart but sexy, popular girl who had aspirations in life. She was also very promiscuous but you could say that’s “sex-positive” in todays era. Yes she could be vain and a horrible person at times, but that’s what was her character was about. A clone of a literal QUEEN who would feel the need to be worshipped similarly.
Joan on the other hand, was the rebellious but considered attractive by everyone except Abe, where it actually mattered to her. Ghandi wanted her, JFK accepted that he would be “gay” for her if she was a man, and Cleo even said the idea of doing it with Joan would’ve been “Hot”. She represented the counter culture aspect, or the early 2000’s liberal view points. She was an environmentalist, special needs advocate (given the way she seemed to be the only one mad at the treatment of them in episode 2), and probably would’ve expressed many other early 2000’s socially liberal viewpoints like the treatment of gay people and other minorities. She challenged the notion that only men could be good at sports.
She was also pretty toxic in many ways. Cleo was never intentionally mean to Joan. Joan seems to be making up everything when the truth is that Joan constantly made rude remarks at Cleo, such as calling her a whore, slut, inferring she has herpes, a ho-bag, etc.
Don’t get me wrong, This was funny. The whole trope of Joan loving a guy who’s only focused on the “bitchy bimbo” who in turn is vain and only focused on the “douche bag” was halarious and where many of the jokes and melo drama stemmed from.
But see this is the thing, Cleo could be manipulative, but she did grow to love Abe. From the first episode she decided to continue to try and flirt with Abe even after he made himself look bad. She was using him obviously, but she also did appreciate and in return, opened up to him. She was clearly upset in the original season finale when she found out Abe was actually into Joan. Cleo did also call Abe the “sensitive nice guy” in the first episode.
Joan was also very laid back, almost like Daria. She was not hyper and all over the place like we see in season 2. The only time Joan seemed to loose her mind was during the time when she began to believe she was hearing voices.
Now Joan being unwilling to admit she was the one to start the conflict with Cleo would be an interesting plot point, but instead we get episode 4, where every nuance and history of their rivalry/friendship disappears. Imagine of instead of simplifying Cleo and Joan’s friendship/rivalry to “mean girl bully less popular girl sad face”, cleo brings up the fact that Joan actively pursed Abe despite knowing he was dating Cleo. Joan could say that when Cleo called the hotline, it was Joan who initially called because she wanted Abe to be happy. From here you can have their friendship truly grow. Two girls who have hated each other for petty reasons, both of whom seemed to have missing parents or abusive parents in Cleo’s case, who both wanted Abe and were kind of quick to clash because of their “social status”.
This is mostly a rant on episode 4, which imo, doesn’t fit into the show because of the supernatural elements, and doesn’t seem to understand or remember the history of Clone high. What is it even parodying?
On the other hand, JFK has been written fantastically, Abe is pretty decent, and Gandhi is well, Gandhi.
I am happy that Harriet Tubman is finally starting to form her own character as the neurotic preppy stereotype and Frida has formed her own character as the chill relaxed one.
I just feel like the mischaracterization of Cleo and the retconning of important events from the first season along with a few cringey jokes and boomer humor is what really drags season 2 down. I do feel like episodes 5 & 6 were an improvement from episodes 2 & 3 and especially 4. Honestly you could cut episode 4 out and nothing would be lost from the series, and if anything would improve the show.
submitted by Throwawayacc_i983b to clonehigh [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 23:04 LorettaRosy63_ Lost my second job....

I eventually lost my second job because they were looking for reasons to fire me and replace me with some other person. After all, they've had the job position ad open since last week..... (Dunno if they opened it a little bit earlier and just happened to notice it last week).
And even one thing could be enough for that to eventually happen....
A lot has happened to me this whole time and my mental health went downhill. I was being hard on myself even over the smallest of mistakes I would do. Even a very specific week of work where I've had headaches to the point of feeling dizzy including the feeling of -possibly- vomiting/throwing up was used against me as a reason while I already have had made myself clear that there is a health problem/condition about myself and I have to take multivitamins to balance it. I mean what is it right to use a health condition against someone to fire him? Did I have to be more than two months as an employee where I've worked to have the right to deal with a health problem? Like, another employee who, one day had to leave earlier from work because of a health problem they had to deal with, none said a single thing. Why would even just one person say a thing about mine? Was that even fair?
If only reasons regarding work where used, such as "I didn't do good calculations, didn't find it so easy to use scales on signage designs, didn't learn how to keep track of time" I would be like, "Ok, fine" but please, why use many other things as reasons as well? Here comes the thought of saying that everyone is looking for ways to step on you and fulfill their interests because they wanna replace you.
Also, someone said something about me taking a USB stick???
Even, some days ago, I got shamed right behind my back over a work I have no clue what it was about that they said it gone somehow wrong and that I've embarrassed myself......
Yesterday, I took a day off because I had to go give my evidence to the High Court about a very recent event occuring at my apartment, where someone almost tried to break into my apartment. And I got the feeling that my day off work was taken an advantage only to tell me they want me to be fired.
None really cares about people like me. You'll be replaced in just a day, a week, a month??? Whatever.
I hate both myself and my life a lot more than I already do.
That's all....
submitted by LorettaRosy63_ to Vent [link] [comments]