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Views Of Truly Alpha Asians

2023.01.15 23:27 Boorobford Views Of Truly Alpha Asians

A controversial yet raw and action-oriented sub that talks about the prejudice against Asian men in the western dating market and how to actually handle it.

2018.05.03 09:33 DHFJFGVDCJFG Brisbane Broncos vs Canterbury Bulldogs Live Stream Free


2008.09.04 01:02 r/PoliticalHumor 2024: The Sequel Nobody Asked For

A subreddit focused on US politics, and the ridiculousness surrounding them.

2023.06.09 01:09 excitedsoundwave My bedroom is dying and I'm losing interest in keeping it alive

Hey everyone. Long time lurker, just created this account to let this off my chest. Sorry in advance for the long rant.
My wife (LLF 30) and I (HLM 33) have been in a relationship for 10 years, married for two now. And I can safely say that ever since we got married things have just gotten worse sexually, and I'm growing less and less interested in making them better.
Before we got married, I was already starting to have some issues with the quality of the sex. She has never really been super adventurous, but over time even little things that we would do to change things up, such as varying positions, doing it in places other than the bedroom (and I don't mean the middle of the street, I mean the living room couch) or even morning sex (which I've always made clear I LOVE) started to be less and less frequent, until eventually we stopped doing them altogether. There was always an excuse, and it ALWAYS revolved around comfort. "Me on top takes too much effort and makes me tired". "Why do it on the couch when we have a bed?". "I'm too sleepy in the morning". Etcetera.
At the same time, I was growing more and more interested in trying new things, and began to find out that even talking to her about sex was a difficult task. Even discussing things and casually imagining what we'd like to do differently had a very specific time and place, which were always really difficult to access. I remember trying to get her to do one of those tests once where both members of a couple say what they're interested in doing and the system will tell where they match. Even getting her to do that was a chore. Needless to say the conversation that followed was underwhelming to put it lightly. It got to a point where I would sometimes manifest my desire to try new fantasies/sensations, etc, and her answer would always be along the lines of "I won't judge you if you explore it, but don't count on me to participate".
Then, after we got married the frequency started to take a hit too. Me being rejected for even the most vanilla sex became commonplace in our relationship. Us having sex became a matter of her spontaneously feeling like it, which I started to feel like I had no power over whatsoever. I manifested more than once that this was making me feel bad, and that all of her sexual needs were being met where mine were being severely overlooked. Every time we had this conversation her answer was always that she understood, that she felt sorry... And then nothing changed. We were having sex once or twice a week before getting married and now it's down to once every two-three weeks with luck.
On top of all that, I started to feel less and less attracted to her. I've been staying active since I first met her ten years ago. I'm actually way more fit now at 33 than I ever was in my 20s, I'm feeling sexy, I'm dressing better than ever, whereas I feel like she has been simply neglecting her body for the past few years. I wish I was not vain to the point where this affects me, but sadly I am and it does. She has even told me a few times - as a compliment, mind you - that she's the lucky one in the relationship because while she's gotten worse over time I'm aging 'like wine' and look hotter than ever. Of course I like the compliment. What I don't like is the fact that she doesn't realise that this is hurtful to me especially since she has no underlying health conditions keeping her from also aging 'like wine'. I would love to see her make an effort to be as sexy as she thinks I am, but all this tells me is that she's taking me for granted. Just like the discussions on sex, it all just boils down to what she feels immediately comfortable with. It's always difficult to bring the topic up without her taking offence, and the answer to why she's not minimally taking care of her own body always revolves around some excuse. "I can't right now because I'm dealing with X/Y/Z". "I don't want to be bothered with minding what I eat all the time". "The sports that I like are difficult to access".
I'm honestly getting to a point where I'm both frustrated that our sex life is deeply unsatisfying to me and losing the interest in trying to make it better, because I feel less and less attracted to her everyday. To this point I haven't been able to openly tell her that I'm loosing attraction, though I've tried to give her every hint possible. I'm dreading the moment where I'll just have to be blunt about it because I fear what this is going to do to our relationship, but at the same time I only see things on this front getting worse over time. I often feel guilty for even thinking everything that I just wrote, because we've been through a lot together and make a great team otherwise. I'm just starting to feel that without the physical and sexual aspect this partnership is not fully satisfactory to me.
submitted by excitedsoundwave to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 01:08 AndroidShelf44 I have absolutely no privacy, every single conversation gets twisted into criticising me, and apparently I am the one who is incapable of living "in community".

I am 22M and I still live with my parents, I believe my father is a narcissist and that would be the tamest term I would use. Also, big disclaimer that this will be a dump of some of the things that bother me the most about my life until now as it relates to my parents. I am afraid some of this stuff is gonna sound like massive 1st world problems but honestly, if it's not here and through a secondary account, when where else could I vent about it?
I also feel like I brought this upon myself because I'm still 22 and still living with them, and get reminded of how pathetic I am every single day for that fact. I returned from graduating uni a few months back, and unfortunately, I haven't managed to find a full time job despite my efforts. I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to afford to move out now, and the average emancipation age in my country is over 30 years old, it'd be a fucking miracle.
At 18, I got the chance to study my entire degree in a foreign country, and I didn't even blink. Just the idea of having 3 entire years, which seemed like an eternity at the time but then came and went in a flash, 3 entire years when I would be able to finally have any sort of privacy in my life, that I wouldn't have to put up with my father's unpredictable mood swings and obsession with making everyone else feel like shit, plus they would be super-willing to help me financially through it, it seemed like a dream.
And it was. All my life I have had to share rooms with my brother, who is just over a year younger. It's not because we couldn't afford two separate rooms, in fact, we shared one where we slept and changed clothes, and one where we'd study and entertain ourselves. I don't know, I guess my parents thought it would be an amazing idea to force two brothers of close age to share everything, and to keep them like that despite them being like oil and water. My brother would bully me from the moment he was able to do so. Every time I'd meet new kids at the park or when we went somewhere, we would then manage to turn them all against me just to make me miserable. He would break my stuff, he would embarrass me in front of others, and he would also physically attack me, as I am a pacifist. Nowadays, he likes to belittle me for being less fit, for having friends he deems "weird" because some of them happen to be autistic, and also belittles my career (finance) for not being a STEM field, despite him being stuck in 1st year of engineering for the 3rd year in a row. Also threatens to beat me up if I ever stand up to him, and he could.
So with that context, after spending 3 years not having to deal with that shit, I come back. Suddenly, I remember all the bullshit. I cannot close the door, my father has threatened with removing it twice now. My brother likes to sit behind me and peep into my laptop for hours at a time, and I am not allowed to set it up anywhere else. I still have to sleep in a bed one meter away from someone I have hated my whole life.
My father is a fucking asshole. All he has ever cared about is his fucking bicycle. If it rains and means he can't do his route this Saturday, then he unloads that frustration on us. Same with any frustrations he has but he really cares too much about that specific thing. Only thing he ever did to bond with us was teach us to ride a bike, since then he has been disappointed every time our preferences didn't align. Never cared about the things me or my brother liked, like video games, astronomy or music. In fact, he has literally stated that he'd rather me being taking drugs under a bridge than playing an online game with my irl friends. There are some things we actually have in common, like he loves skiing but since I'm not as good as him and my brother, and being around him normally already feels like walking on eggshells, then imagine that but skiing. And he and I are also big Metallica fans, and he took me to a concert recently, but I will never go to anything with him again. He blew his chances at being liked or even tolerated beyond necessity.
He is the worst person I know to be around. Every misstep you make, every minuscule inefficient movement you perform, everything you do that isn't up to his particular way of doing things, he will turn into a fucking lecture, remind you of every single instance, talk you down to and essentially make you feel like you're a useless piece of trash. What else, he fucking hates to see a door that is close. The door our room where I have my stuff set up goes out to the entrance of the apartment, for some fucking reason, and yet, I am not able to have it closed. Every time he sees it he has to open it, remark on how he doesn't like the temperature in a room HE NEVER USES, and leave it open. Lately also threatening to remove the door altogether. And he installed a magnet to keep the door fully open as well.
Another example, from just today. For some reason, he wants to mess around with the home telephones, which all connect to the same number and I have one on my desk. Well, he decides he wants to mess around with this shit without telling me beforehand, so of course he yells at me because I didn't clear the space, because god forbid there are things on my fucking table, because it is hotter in a room containing a human and a laptop than in the other empty rooms, which obviously is my fucking fault, and I also had an important online meeting scheduled for that precise time. Of course, it ends up with him storming out yelling about whatever the fuck annoys him, which is absolutely everything you can think of.
When I returned to our home town from uni I had to get surgery, which in short, left me with a pretty big wound in an awkward place, which needed healing. I followed all of what the doctor said, but my father disagreed. He fucking belittled the doctor because he hated seeing that I would spend time playing video games at some point when I was supposed to stay home and let it heal. He thinks he knows more than the freaking doctors man.
Another quirk of the man is he's a fucking Karen, and racist to boot although he wouldn't act racist in public. He often comes bragging about how he yelled or insulted a random person on the street or on the road because they "didn't follow the rules". Like a girl not wearing a mask in the metro for a minute (already in 2023 btw), or someone didn't use their blinkers properly or whatever. Like minor stuff you would be annoyed about, ignore and go on with your life. He likes to talk a lot about how we should be careful in the streets and avoid trouble, yet he is constantly buying tickets to get his ass handed to him with the way he treats others.
My mother suffers a lot, yet she won't try anything to solve the situation. She basically gets as much shit as I do, and instead of supporting each other because we love each other, she get angry at me because I did some otherwise normal or minor thing that got my father fired up, and she had to "defend me". Many of us in the family, including myself and her sister, have asked her to consider divorce, but it's like she never listens. Last year my father didn't talk to us for like 2 weeks after he ruined my brother's 20th birthday by being an asshole and making everyone uncomfortable at what should have been a nice lunch, and my mother supposedly "made things clear" to him after that, (btw he never apologised), yet now it's like that never happened at all. She will be miserable at how he treats her and us, in one moment, he will storm out of the place with a door slam, and then next day they seem to have forgotten that, its seriously fucking uncanny.
Lately, I have tried leaving the room whenever I couldn't be bother to up up with his shit, but he chases me around the apartment. I have even left meals without finishing because his beer-fueled ramblings start to push my buttons. One day, when my mother was out of town I left the food he prepared on the table and went to spend the entire afternoon to my grandparents (mother's parents), because he kept acting like an asshole towards me even after the 5th time of "stopping". He threatened to beat me (has never done so), but I didn't give a shit, left and spent such a chill evening with 2 people who actually care for each other and their family, until my brother told me we went to sleep. I ignored his messages through that day, and he sometimes still brings up that I still have to answer. I didn't tell him where I had gone, though I thought it was pretty obvious, it was also a rainy day. Apparently he was "worried", good fuck him.
Other times, I try to actually stand out for myself and match his tone, or just reply to his bullshit. It either ends in a competition to see who can yell loudest, him declaring how everything I own is "his", how he is going to kick me out, and would only end by him starting to yell how I'm an idiot, how I'm an ignorant, with absolutely no arguments, just denial of the truths I speak to him.
Honestly, I can't wait to move out ASAP. I have good friends but they got shit to deal with of their own, and I don't feel like I deserve the hospitality of other family members. My grandfather (father's) treated him similarly, and of course he did the mega infinite IQ strategy of repeating the cycle, because he's a fucking idiot. But now my grandfather will defend my father and always be on his side, so I can't even count on them.
I want to have kid(s) at some point, I hope I'm not stupid enough to engage on that cycle myself.
If you read all the way here, I'm honestly impressed. Thanks.
submitted by AndroidShelf44 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 01:06 jenna__not__smart Portland Oregon Synth & Pedal Expo June 17-18 at Briq Studio & meetup afterward

mod(s) I hope this is ok. If not I apologize!
Time to shave a few hundred points off your credit score! The Portland pedal expo is 9 days away and if you went last year you already know this is going to be the most amazing day of your life where all your wildest dreams come true.
The event is in Old Town at Briq (NW 4th and Davis) on Saturday June 17 (noon-6pm) and Sunday June 18 (11am-5pm).
Tons of one-of-a-kind pedals, prototypes, new/oddball pedals, you name it. No joke, you have no idea how much awesome stuff will be there that you've never seen before or had no idea existed in the first place!
While some folks may go on both days, a few of us have decided to meet up out front of Briq at 6pm on Saturday and head over to Multnomah Whiskey Library for drinks & food and getting to know some of the other pedal devotees in the Portland area. There might even be some super awesome people from a few of the companies listed below joining us! You do not need to worry about buying a hall pass, I'm a member and you're my guest and we've got a private room reserved for Saturday. If you're not a drinker and just want to hang out and have some food that is more than fine! And don't worry about $, everything is charged to my account so you don't need to spend anything (besides you'll have spent every last penny on pedals by then anyway!) and since we'll have our own private room you are more than fine to store your guitar there if you don't want to leave it in your car or lug it around after the expo.
If you're interested in us at 6pm at Briq or meeting up out front of the whiskey library around 6:15pm-ish, msg me!
This year the following brands will be present:
submitted by jenna__not__smart to guitarpedals [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 01:03 raisedbutconfused Had the absolute worst day

Came into work with a pretty bad muscle spasm in my back. Could barely walk and forget about bending over for anything.
The place where I work essentially forces me to work 4 jobs at once in the mornings- bartending, serving, hosting, bussing, and take-out. It gets busy in the mornings and I have to handle roughly $1000 in sales on my own (usually more), and that’s not including take-out and UbeDoordash. Every now and then they give me server support, but they’re often too cheap to do that.
First table I get is a table of teenagers. There were 7 of them so it’s an autograt. They were super impatient and kept demanding stupid little things the whole time and acting like they were my only table, tried rushing everything I did. I go to get the bill and as I’m putting in the autogratuity, one of the owners (let’s call him Asshole) tells me that the autogratuity (that we have been doing for years) is too high, and demands I put it lower.
Next table that comes in while I’m already dealing with this is just as bad- 3 top of two women and a boy. The kid just keeps screaming over anything I’m saying demanding things, and the mother is doing jack about it. Literally- “can I start you off with sparkling wa—“ “I WANT A PIZZA” “okay, which pizza?” “The meatlovers” “okay one meatlovers pizza, can I start you all off with water?” “NO CARAMELIZED ONIONS” “okay…no caramelized onions…any water for the table?” The mom- “yes, I’ll have sparkling, she’ll have tap.” Mom starts to order and while I’m taking it down- “I WANT A LEMONADE” just ignoring him at this point, taking the adults’ orders. I repeat everything back to them and the kid just starts screaming “PIZZA AND LEMONADE PIZZA AND LEMONADE” and the mom is just laughing and stroking his hair.
Then I get a little busy, maybe 7 tables in and I hit a point where everybody has what they need and I have a moment to use the bathroom. Asshole comes and aggressively jiggles the handle and tries to enter the bathroom for about 10 seconds. I wash my hands and he starts screaming at me for using the bathroom.
All this while I’m close to tears my back hurts so much.
It starts to drizzle outside and our two tables in the patio get wet, including the roll-ups. I have tables that need immediate attention, so I leave it for the moment since it’s not urgent and the damage is already done.
One of the other owners (let’s call him Dickhead) points to the glasswasher and demands I clean the garbage from the tray. I clean it and he starts yelling that it’s unacceptable to keep it that way. Because apparently I have all this time on my hands to clean shit while doing all these other things.
Finally finishing up, last table closes up and I start my closing duties for the morning shift. Dickhead runs to the back where I’m doing rollups and starts screaming at me that the rollups on the patio got wet.
I finally leave and try getting home. Subway is down at the station I need to get to, so I get off one station earlier where it was going to turn back and see my bus is there. It only comes once every 40 minutes or so so I was pretty happy, but this asshole sees me coming up and starts to close the doors and drive off. I run in front of the bus and he stops, gets all pissed and opens the doors, screaming at me that he had been there all day. I reply “congratulations, I’ve been at my job all day, too.” He makes a face but doesn’t respond.
Finally get home and my back is still absolutely killing me to the point that I am close to tears. I am exhausted, in pain, beaten down, and have been disrespected all fucking day.
Just one of those days where everything seems to go wrong, it seems.
submitted by raisedbutconfused to Serverlife [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 01:03 Appropriate_Shake_50 I created a flashcards app for learning new vocabulary (Anki but pretty and Web based)

Here's the app, I've put a lot of love into it and I will never charge anything for it, let me know what you think:
I've observed significant improvement in both my English and Spanish when I started to use the "Spaced Repetition" method for memorizing new vocabulary. The idea is super simple, basically you need to repeat information for it to stay in your memory for longer. There's been many experiments with optimal algorithms for reviewing information (one of the most popular implementations is in the famous Anki app).
You can do it yourself with paper flashcards as well and I used that method with almost a thousand flashcards. The only downside is that after some time it's much harder to keep track of what you already remembered for good and what should be reviewed once in a while. This is why software like Anki was created, to optimize this process.
However, after trying things like Anki, Ankimono and Quizzlet, I became frustrated with UI being ugly or unintuitive or too complex. I missed paper. I wanted to use a modern app that would be available anywhere I have access to a smartphone or a laptop but would be really simple and focused on the process of adding new cards and reviewing them.
I'm now at a point when my pet project is now the only tool I want to use for flashcards. Obviously it's perfectly tailored for me and for some people there will be lacking features or they won't know what a CSV file is for bulk import. But I thought this shouldn't stop me from sharing with others, because maybe there are people with similar taste to mine.
submitted by Appropriate_Shake_50 to LearningEnglish [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 01:01 jtnoble Numbness, tingling, headaches, chest pain and fatigure

Info: Male, mid 20s, 6ft2, 310lbs
Hey all,
I've gone to the doctors consistently every two weeks now for this unknown thing going on. Curious if anyone can help out.
Starting earlier this year (around February), I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I had an EKG and nothing seemed wrong, so we went about it. After about a week, I noticed some numbness/tingling in the left side of my face, with redness as well. I have a blood pressure cuff, and took my blood pressure at 170/100. I called around and was told to wait to come in for an actual appointment unless it gets worse. Well, it got a little better, but after going to see my primary care, I was told I have high blood pressure, as the results have shown a consistent 140+/80+ over the past three years.
I tried blood pressure meds, starting with Losartan, but these made me feel weird, so I swapped to Hydrochlorothiazide, and it was fine for about a week, but then my potassium started dropping so I was put on some potassium pills. My doctor also put me on Sertraline for anxiety. It was around this time I was also diagnosed with an anomaly in Factor-V, so I'm roughly 10% more likely to get blood clotting. Because of this, I was sent to do a CT, where nothing was found. Fast forward a month, nothing is helping, and my doctor sends me in for another CT, as now I was noticing pain in my arms, most notably my left, especially with exercise. Nothing again, and two days later I had an allergic reaction to either some meds or the contrast.
Since then, we have tried an MRI, an abdominal ultrasound, and a sleep study. No brain issues, no sleep issues, and a small lesion on my liver, but nothing they think we should be worried about. My blood pressure meds were seemingly making my symptoms worse, so I stopped taking them, and surprisingly my blood pressure has been a little better. That being said, in this timeframe, I had lost 20lbs (330 -> 310), which could have aided the blood pressure. This was not directly affected by what's going on, as I have been trying to at least eat a little healthier (and by that, I mean mostly just less sugary snacks and soda).
Moving on to the present, I've been getting headaches nearly every day, sometimes piercing for multiple minutes before lingering to a small pain. The facial numbness and tingling is occasional, some days it's worse than others. I take Omeprazole, and it helps the chest pain, but I'm not sure it helps the weird tingling. My face is always a touch more red on the left side, and I get occasional pains in my fingers on my left hand (most notably my pinky and ring fingers). I'm also just more tired than normal. I used to sleep from 1am to 8am just fine every day, but now I can hardly get to 11pm without starting to feel like I need to wind down for the night.
I've tested negative for any blood tests given, showing no diabetes, no real issues seem to be going on. I've had multiple EKGs and CTs at this point, no signs of cancer, no signs of heart issues, no signs of tumors. I'm sorta at a loss right now. The only thing we discussed being a very small possibility it MS, but nothing came up on the MRI. Even if it were early MS, it should show something, even if super small. And as of now, my most prevalent symptom is the tightness/tingling in my face along with a kind of dreariness that almost feels like I'm not able to focus 100%.
Does anyone have any ideas on what this could be?
submitted by jtnoble to AskDocs [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 01:00 Blooper_Bot Game Thread: Mets @ Braves - Thu, Jun 08 @ 07:20 PM EDT

Mets @ Braves - Thu, Jun 08

Game Status: Warmup - First Pitch is scheduled for 07:20 PM EDT

Links & Info

NLE Rank Team W L GB (E#) WC Rank WC GB (E#)
1 Atlanta Braves 37 24 - (-) - - (-)
2 Miami Marlins 35 28 3.0 (98) 2 +2.0 (-)
3 New York Mets 30 32 7.5 (94) 5 2.5 (99)
4 Philadelphia Phillies 29 32 8.0 (94) 6 3.0 (99)
5 Washington Nationals 25 36 12.0 (90) 11 7.0 (95)
Probable Pitcher (Season Stats) Report
Mets Justin Verlander (2-3, 4.25 ERA, 36.0 IP) No report posted.
Braves Spencer Strider (6-2, 2.97 ERA, 69.2 IP) No report posted.
Mets Lineup vs. Strider AVG OPS AB HR RBI K
1 Nimmo - CF .417 1.295 12 1 1 2
2 Alvarez - DH - - - - - -
3 McNeil - 2B .286 .804 7 0 0 0
4 Lindor - SS .455 1.136 11 0 2 2
5 Baty - 3B .000 .000 2 0 0 1
6 Marte, S - RF .200 .629 5 0 0 2
7 Pham - LF .000 .000 4 0 0 3
8 Narváez - C .000 .000 2 0 0 2
9 Vientos - 1B - - - - - -
10 Verlander - P - - - - - -
Braves Lineup vs. Verlander AVG OPS AB HR RBI K
1 Acuña Jr. - RF - - - - - -
2 Olson - 1B .238 .809 21 2 4 7
3 Riley, A - 3B - - - - - -
4 d'Arnaud - C .500 1.000 2 0 0 1
5 Rosario, E - LF .150 .350 20 0 0 4
6 Albies - 2B - - - - - -
7 Ozuna - DH .333 .666 3 0 1 1
8 Arcia, Or - SS .000 .000 2 0 0 2
9 Harris II, M - CF - - - - - -
10 Strider - P - - - - - -

Division Scoreboard

DET 0 @ PHI 0 - Middle 5
AZ 0 @ WSH 0 - Postponed
Last Updated: 06/08/2023 07:11:18 PM EDT
submitted by Blooper_Bot to Braves [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:59 sydney___ellen913 Markup/down vs commission?

Studying for the SIE, taking series 7 a month later. Here is my holdup:
So I want to understand when an individual or entity receives which of these? Market makers are BDs who earn a spread (difference between bid/ask price and what they receive from the issuer). If another BD (let’s call them XYZ) buys from the MM they charge a markup or markdown when their clients request to sell? So where do commissions come in? Commissions are made by individual agents/RRs within the XYZ BD who represent specific individuals? so the client themselves is paying a commission and markup/markdown in each transaction?
BDs act in both agent and principal capacity so when specifically do they act in which? Or do they act in both capacities per transaction (in two different steps), as described above? I need the full chain(s).
submitted by sydney___ellen913 to Series7exam [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:59 East-Faithlessness19 I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m acting like a spoiled brat

So I’ve realized that I’ve been repeating a behavior in my current relationship that I did in my last toxic af one. And I’m realizing I’m toxic too which is really hurting. Like I am expecting my bf, who not only works a full time job, a part time one, goes to the gym & has to take care of everything himself, to also make time for me where we can go out on dates & have fun. We’re going on a little get away in a few weeks and we see each other once a week but it’s so hard to feel like he should be able to make more time for me even though logistically I know he’s doing the best he can. He is so stressed that a health thing he has is getting a lot worse and yet I can’t for some for godforsaken reason understand what he’s going through. Like I still feel like I want more, even though when we are together, it’s like all of that time we don’t see each other is worth it. Like we are best friends too, we talk about everything, totally respect each other’s views, have such fun, are so compatible in everything. And then I acted like a spoiled brat on the phone and expressed that I feel like he doesn’t have energy for me so I might as well walk away. And I did this at some point in my past relationship. Now being aware of it and seeing how much it’s hurting someone who I really fucking love, someone who is trying his best, someone who I really do want to try this thing out… it hurts so much. I know that being aware will help to change the behavior but god does it feel like I have been on an uphill battle non-stop and I wish I could just not act these ways. So yea, I’m an asshole who can’t be understanding and is so super demanding. Which will eventually drive him away from me. So yea
submitted by East-Faithlessness19 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:58 bellynipples Just beat RE7 on normal..

I liked it quite a bit, but from the wrecked ship and final boss was super weak. Knowing how RE games work (there aren’t many I haven’t beat) at the last save point and item box I got all suited up with 5 bombs, 10 flame rounds, 6 Neuro rounds, 5 first aid meds, 42 shotgun shells etc. then just used like 10 shotgun shells and one first aid lol. Kept thinking “ok this is where the helicopter gets taken out…” for the whole final cutscene.
submitted by bellynipples to residentevil [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:57 Original-Fig-4535 Chi squared test… Am I doing this right?

I don’t think I’m terrible at statistics, but I am not the best. I recently got an article back from some reviewers and now I’m questioning everything. They pointed out how I didn’t put it in the correct format. Which, yes, I don’t think I reported it correctly. I’ve fixed that. But now I’m questioning myself.
I work in market research, so I’m used to working with contingency tables. But this was for academic research in a different field, so I’m just checking that I did it correctly. I had survey data and created contingency tables comparing the answers vs demographics and other questions. I then ran a chi squared test of independence to examine if there was a relationship between each variable. Say for example between someone’s experience getting a job (yes, no, maybe) and also with something like what they had for breakfast that morning (obviously these are not my variables). My first question is, was that the correct choice considering they were both categorical variables? And if so, do I need to report the effect size? I didn’t originally have the effect size and they didn’t say anything about it, but I want to make sure I’m not missing anything this time. I had planned to used cohen’s d.
I had another set of questions measuring the comfort level on a scale from 1-5. I chose kruskal Wallis to compare these questions to other variables that were categorical.
I guess I’m just trying to make sure I chose the right tests before I resubmit to the journal. Thank you!
submitted by Original-Fig-4535 to AskStatistics [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:57 Appropriate_Shake_50 I created a flashcards app for learning new vocabulary (Anki but pretty and Web based)

Here's the app, I've put a lot of love into it and I will never charge anything for it, let me know what you think:
I've observed significant improvement in both my English and Spanish when I started to use the "Spaced Repetition" method for memorizing new vocabulary. The idea is super simple, basically you need to repeat information for it to stay in your memory for longer. There's been many experiments with optimal algorithms for reviewing information (one of the most popular implementations is in the famous Anki app).
You can do it yourself with paper flashcards as well and I used that method with almost a thousand flashcards. The only downside is that after some time it's much harder to keep track of what you already remembered for good and what should be reviewed once in a while. This is why software like Anki was created, to optimize this process.
However, after trying things like Anki, Ankimono and Quizzlet, I became frustrated with UI being ugly or unintuitive or too complex. I missed paper. I wanted to use a modern app that would be available anywhere I have access to a smartphone or a laptop but would be really simple and focused on the process of adding new cards and reviewing them.
I'm now at a point when my pet project is now the only tool I want to use for flashcards. Obviously it's perfectly tailored for me and for some people there will be lacking features or they won't know what a CSV file is for bulk import. But I thought this shouldn't stop me from sharing with others, because maybe there are people with similar taste to mine.
submitted by Appropriate_Shake_50 to Spanish [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:57 NAACP_YoungBoy The NBA should let Ja show off fake guns

If what Ja and his camp are saying is true and the latest gun he pulled out on his friends IG live is actually fake then there’s really no harm done. Don’t get me wrong it’s definitely a bad look and looks immature but at least he isn’t actually being negligent with a firearm. If Ja needs to wave weapons around while listening to rap music I would rather they be toys that can’t cause actual harm. He clearly wants to flex on the gram and look cool and fake guns could replace the void of not being able to show off real ones. I don’t know Ja personally but he clearly seems like a troubled young man who’s enamored with the “street life” and his obsession with guns is emblematic of the society he grew up in. This country has a prevalent fixation with gun culture and the 2nd amendment. His worrying social media activity after he relapsed this second time suggests he’s really struggling with fame and he’s already said he needs to learn some new breathing exercises.
Not only should the NBA let Ja have some fun with fake guns but them or the Grizzlies should straight up buy them for him. That way you don’t have to worry about him being negligent with an actual firearm and hurting himself or others. I say let Ja flash a fake gun on IG live once a month. Ideally this works as a form of rehabilitation for him and helps slowly get him hooked off his addiction. You could even have him work his way up from showing off realistic looking fakes to NERF blasters and then eventually water super soakers or something. At some point Ja will realize how lame he looks waving toy pistols around and he’ll stop on his own accord and if the guns are clearly fake then he can avoid setting a bad example for children who follow him. Suspending him half the season does nothing but punish him and us as fans.
submitted by NAACP_YoungBoy to nba [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:56 southernBuscuit Was she probably not a catfish and could she still be out there?

I chatted with a woman on here a long time ago. She was 25 (now likely 26 or 27) at the time and she never had a boyfriend and was a virgin. She was absolutely GORGEOUS! She was a kindergarten teacher somewhere out of south Georgia. She experienced a car accident as a teen and lost her memory for a long time and had to undergo a lot of rehabilitation. She told me her name was Juliette.
I became too desperate at some point and it ended up being off-putting to her. She ghosted me. I think her account was disposable too. I have searched and searched, performed reverse image searches, and I even looked through the Georgia teacher registry with no success. I gave up a long time ago.
If she was real, I am at a HUGE loss. Whoever gets to be her first boyfriend and everything will be a lucky man.
submitted by southernBuscuit to dating [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:56 SwimmingOk4643 I... am... van Richten, Vampire Slayer! - A high camp alternative to RAW

I always had trouble with van Richten in RAW. The van Helsing analogue was supposed to be a famous monster killer, a very serious man, but most everything he does is high camp kitch... Disguises himself as a circus owner? Arrives in town with a monkey? Gives said monkey to a toy maker? Writes notes to himself about an orc that can chew iron bars? Wears a 'hat of disguise' and a 'ring of mind shielding'? Has a starving tiger... in a circus wagon.... that is his master plan.... to commit Vistani genocide?????? How can anyone take this guy seriously?
On top of that, you have Esmerelda, the one of the pair who seems to actually fight monsters, herself Vistani, whom we're told is van Richten's protege? Who, despite her seeming professionalism, has no idea nor plan to stop her mad sensei from wiping out her people... by starving tiger....?
So, I rewrote the guy. I like him much better this way. He's much more fun to play. An opportunity for role playing DM to really chew some scenery. Hopefully some of you like it too.
The party met him in Blue Water, but he was cagey as in RAW. They never really took interest in him & I never knew what to do with him, so he faded a bit into the background. Then the Feast of St Andral & Vallaki burning... suddenly Rictavio appears, shaking, snarling circus wagon in tow... "You know me as Rictavio, master of the circus, lord of the ring! But I am actually a Vampire Hunter! Meet me tomorrow at my tower!" With that unexpected & unprovoked revelation, he gallops off dramatically through the burning gates into the night....

Van Richten - Vampire Hunter
Simply put... Rudolph van Richten is barking mad. The former owner of what is now the Walpole and Son Bookstore in Vallaki, he went out of business as, lost in his endless library of fantasy, he would spend days forgetting even to unlock the front door . He was particularly fascinated by the book "The Chilling Tales of Rudolph van Richten, Vampire Hunter." , a melodramatic, but well-read pulp novel written long ago by a Barovian author who claimed to see visions from beyond the mists and was later institutionalized.
The young Rudy, now without job or means, retreated further into his fictional world and now imagines himself to be the famed monster hunter himself! He is Strahd's arch-enemy (although Strahd has never heard of him) , constantly hunted and on the run. He disguises himself in increasingly absurd ways - the latest being the carnival barker Rictavio (he got the idea from a traveling circus - Refugees from the Carnival dark domain in the Ravenloft guide and a future random encounter). To complement the deception, he "acquired" a wagon from an unsuspecting farmer, which he painted in bright, splashy colors and purchased a monkey from the Lake Vistani.
When the party first encounters him at the Blue Water in Vallaki, he will have been spying on the Lake Vistani for the last several weeks. He regularly pulls his carriage up just outside of their camp, dons his 'Hat of Disguise' and in an exaggeratedly thick accent, pretends to be a fellow Vistani 'from far south'. The Vistani regard him as a harmless crank and regularly ask him to tell them more funny stories about their "brothers to the south" - which become increasingly inventive with each telling - and to sell him bits of random junk... err... "magical Vistani treasures", including a 'Ring of Mind Shielding' which is actually nothing more than a cheap electrum plated brass ring that's already starting to rub off and make his fingers itch (evidence that he is under constant assault from Strahd!). The Vistani might be a bit less welcoming, however, if they knew he was also stealing their laundry to train the very real tiger that he has locked in his circus wagon (it followed him, for its own purposes, from the Carnival).

Meeting Van Richten
When the party arrives at the tower, they will find van Richten waiting for them there - he has just arrived from his regular 'infiltration' of the Vistani. He introduces himself with a dramatic bow & flourish "For more than three decades now, I have undertaken to investigate and expose creatures of darkness to the purifying light of truth and knowledge. "Hero" I am named in some circles, "sage" and "master hunter" I am called in others. That I have survived countless supernatural assaults is seen as a marvel among my peers; my name is spoken with fear and loathing among my foes. I…am… Rudolph von Richten, Vampire Hunter!!" (This is both the opening to his papers in RAW and - in this version - the opening paragraph to the fictional novel "The Chilling Tales of Rudolph van Richten, Vampire Hunter"). As he pronounces his name, trilling his 'r's to an absurd length, he throws back his cape, revealing an overabundance of vampire hunting weapons, hand sewn in loops and pockets: wooden stakes, silver daggers, holy water, holy symbols, mirrors and a long string of garlic bulbs around his neck. Before the party can react, he seems to remember that he is outdoors where the evil one could be listening and in a loud whisper warns that the night has ears and they "shouldn't speak out in the open!"
He invites the party into the tower, but stops suddenly before the door, arms shielding the party from invisible danger. "Stand back! My tower is equipped with a powerful ward! If you make the slightest move, a bolt of lightning will strike you down from the skies!" He gestures at the door pointing out scratches in the old wood, which, if the party squints hard and applies a great deal of imagination might be stick figures...? "You must do as I do, if you want to live!" As the party watches bemused, van Richten contorts himself into a complicated series of silly poses and facial expressions. He insists that the party does the same (make your players get up and repeat your dance!). Then... nothing... He gestures to follow, opening the mundane and harmless wooden door to the tower.
As the party walks up the stairs of the dismal and ruined tower they see a broken platform & worn statues. Van Richten, turns dramatically at each floor and addresses the party: "This was the tower of the great Wizard Kazan (another figure from an adventure book he read) and is protected by an anti-magic shield! Strahd can not hear them or pass its walls! We are safe here!" He walks up the stairs a pace then turns, hand dramatically extended in the face of the party, pointing to his ring... "How do I fool the dark lord when I am outside, you ask? Behold! The great treasure of the Vistani! A Ring of Mind Shielding!" Up another floor on the creaky stairs, van Richten again wheels to face the party, pointing out the 'Stone Golems, that protect the tower from intruders!" When the party touches them, small bits of rock chip off and rattle their way down the tower.
When the party finally arrives at the top of the tower, van Richten opens the door. A powerful smell of garlic and sweat fills the air. The room is full of rows of garlic hanging from the roof, the walls are covered with holy symbols and mirrors. The floor is covered with piles of handwritten books (his notes and plans, which he copies down in an indecipherable script of his own invention - which reads suspiciously like pig-latin.) There are strings criss-crossing from wall to wall, forming an intricate net between hundreds of scraps of paper and drawings attached everywhere, all seemingly leading to a single torn out portrait of Strahd, defaced with cartoon horns & fangs in red and the words 'Vasilli!!??!?!' written in red pen underneath (The party recently learned Vasilli's secret). Some of the strings have drawings or recognized villains: Lady Wachter, the Baron & Izek, but there's also the Martikovs (with a feather pinned to it), Walpole the bookseller (with exaggerated glasses and a dunce cap drawn on) and Claudia from the orphanage (with the name Belasco!!!!! underlined twice in red).
Most surprisingly, there is also a monkey here, swinging from string to string towards its master, pulling a few from their nails as it does. Van Richten shouts loudly "Piccolo, stop it! Filthy monkey! You'll destroy my research!" He users the party into the room. Once in, he turns again to face them: "Now I can reveal what I have learned! The true enemy is not Strahd! It is… Madam Eva!." At this revelation, he slams the door shut revealing that all the lines around the room also connect to a crudely drawn picture of Madam Eva, with the words "Must see the Takkora. How does she know?!?!?!" written in all caps and triple underlined. "It is true! How could she know what is in the cards unless she was controlling it from the start! Haven't you ever wondered how she knows your fate? Do you know also why some are born without souls? It is her! She is the puppet-master of Ravenloft!" (In my game, she's responsible for the missing souls, so - like with many things, he's crazy, but makes some connections others don't)
By now the party's suspicions are confirmed… this guy is not living on the same plane of reality… but he misreads their understanding as agreement. "Ah, you see it too! I understood it when I visited the Lake Tser Vistani camp in disguise! They mistook me as one of their own… see?" He puts on the "Hat of Disguise" (a hunter's cap with some sort of metal paper wrapped around it) which was hanging from a holy symbol on the wall and spreads out his hands wide as if demonstrating a singular transformation. Seeing no reaction, he pulls off the hat. "Do not worry friends, it is I! Rudolph van Richten!" "They took me to Madam Eva and she read my fortune. She told me that my story would soon come to an end. A threat! That's when I knew I was getting close. She said a new chapter could only begin if I found the Vistani girl Arabella at the Lake camp." (In my game, Arabelle is a future threat to Madam Eva's plans, so she's manipulating Van Richten). "But I saw through her trickery. I knew that little girl would spell my doom! So I went to the Lake Vistani, found her alone and cut off her head!" (Here the party firsts starts to see his madness isn't totally harmless). He flings open a footchest and pulls out a heavy burlap bag. "I commanded the dead to speak and it told me its secrets. It confessed that Madam Eva was the true power behind the mists!"
"Now you know. I need your help to defeat Madam Eva once and for all! I have trapped a ferocious beast from beyond the veil. I have kept him chained and ravenous in my cart. I have tormented him wearing Vistani clothes. You will help me take it to Madam Eva, we will disguise ourselves as a carnival, then when she emerges from her tent, we will release the tiger!" He lifts two fingers up to his mouth like fangs and snarls.

Enter Esmerelda
At the end of this rant, the door behind the party slams open. In it, stands a tall, wiry Vistani woman with long curly black hair tied back behind a brown scarf, wearing beaten leather armor and a tarnished, yet obviously cared for silver rapier. She's been following the party since they left Ravenloft (They just finished the dinner). The Tser Pool Vistani speak highly of them, but anyone leaving that place might be an agent of Strahd, so she's cautious and hostile.
Esmerelda is a Lake Vistani, the sister of Arrigal. She is ashamed of her people's support for Strahd and of their practice of bringing outsiders into Barovia. She left the camp when she was a teenager because she refused to stand by Arrigal as he supplicated to Strahd after his father died, leaving him heir. Always a capable fighter, on her own, she has become much more so. Unwelcome with her people, she drifted until she found her way to Krezk, where she fell in love with Kolya, the eldest son of the Krezkovs. They were to be married - against the wishes of Anna, suspicious of Vistani - when Dmitry was killed by werewolves while hunting for the winter. Anna, mourning her son, blamed Esmerelda for having brought a Vistani curse on her family and she was exiled.
With nowhere else to go, remembering the tattered book she found as a child and taught herself to read with - "The Chilling Tales of Rudolph van Richten, Vampire Hunter." - she pitted her formidable skills against the werewolves terrorizing the region. Although she tells herself she does this to protect the innocent, she also feels the need to disprove the prejudices against her people. She gets on better with the Tser Vistani, whom she often trades with, but she's suspicious of Madam Eva for reasons she can't quite put her finger on (Madame Eva knows she's a blood relative of Arabelle and is destined to aid her in the future contest to become the next seer).

Esmerelda vs Van Richten
As soon as she opens the door, she taunts van Richten: "So you're the famous van Richten? Destroyer of the Lich of Lamordia? The Headless Rider of Kalakiri? The Death Knight of Darkon…? Children's books... I read them when I was a young girl. What would you do, great monster hunter, if you felt the claws of a werewolf around your throat, if you felt its breath on your neck?" She approaches, her rapier tapping on the overstuffed cape van Richten wears. "Which bit of that worthless junk in your bags would you reach for, eh? Your crazy head would be ripped off your shoulders before you could choose" With a swift slash, Esmerelda cuts the burlap bag containing the head of Arabelle and a heavy rock with a crude face painted on it tumbles out onto the floor. "You're a fake."
van Richten protests: "But… I… I've seen a warehare turn into a rabbit at the full moon! I knew a half orc who could chew through iron… a giant plant monster that could sing most beautifully…" (All of these are in in his notes and will later appear as a random encounter in the Carnival). "Wait till I get my tiger!" he threatens, pushing the party aside as he runs through the door, down the tower.
She now turns her attention to the party, taunting them: "Why were you in Ravenloft? Taking orders from your master? Getting reward for your service - she fingers the crystal bracelet (a gift from Strahd). After a talk, Esmerelda demands the party prove themselves (a way she has of 'asking' for things): "Come to Krezk… they have a werewolf problem. If you are truly the heroes you claim to be, you should not fear a few monsters?" She throws a leather satchel on the table and several fangs spill out. "I don't" (Esmerelda is also a breadcrumb to Krezk & Werewolf Den).
As the party follows her down the tower, they find Van Richten fighting with the lock on his circus wagon. Whatever is inside must be clawing great furrows into the door to get out, since it's shaking the small cart to pieces. Seeing the party, he spits at them 'Vistani lovers, you'll pay for this betrayal!" With that last burst of anger, he pries the lock off the wagon and an enormous Sabertooth tiger leaps out, knocking him to the ground. He manages to scamper just far enough away that he can pull himself up as the tiger, with the scent of the man who had been starving and taunting it for weeks in its nostrils, slowly begins to stalk its prey. Terrified, van Richten runs into the tower, slamming the door behind him as it furiously claws at the wooden door, trying to get in.
submitted by SwimmingOk4643 to CurseofStrahd [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:53 astroemi Rujing's First Sermon

This is the first sermon in u/surupamaerl2’s translation of the Recorded Sayings of Zen Master Rujing. I recommend you all get a copy, which you can find easily on Amazon. What I’m going to do with this book is basically read what Rujing wrote and try to make sense of it. Poetry is not my strong suit, and as far as I’ve seen, Rujing was a titanic poet, so expect a lot of confusion and missed references. Let’s start,
The Master, on the fifth day of the tenth month of the third year Jiading [1211], was at Huacang Baozhong Temple. Accepting the invitation to enter the temple, he said,
The gate to the mountain is blocked, the journey begins right away. This gate is open, giving clear, unobstructed sight of heaven and earth. On the left side, it beats; on the right side, it blows—the gate is overturned when plucked upwards by wind and thunder.
The entry to enlightenment being both blocked and open is reminiscent of Wumen’s checkpoint. You can see everything from it, but it takes a force of nature to step through.
Pointing to the hall of the Buddha, he said,
Open the hall, behold the Buddha—Argh! A venomous stinger in your eyes—root it out, though it stings! The Master bows and burns incense, even clumsily arranging them upside down.
Trying to observe what Buddhas did before you, blinds you. We all like Buddhas, so it hurts having to forget them in order to see your experience for what it is.
I have no idea what "even clumsily arranging them upside down" is referring to.
Crouching in the abbot’s quarters, he said,
Scoop out Bodhidharma’s eye, make it into a clay marble, and beat someone with it. Then in a loud voice, he said, See the ocean dried up to the bottom, the climbing waves that lap the lofty heavens.
Take Bodhidharma’s eyes and use them to beat people. Then you can do anything.
Then the Master arrived before the Dharma Seat, and picking up his notes said,
The tip of the brush is bald, with not even a single hair—when it comes to it, there are few who set things in good order. Amid the complete silence, he raised the notes again and said, See the point where the rising winds and clouds issue their command—this thunderclap splashes the ink that shakes the guide rope of the lineage. Have you not come to witness the totality? Just don’t incline your ears. When requested to expand on his raising his notes, he said, Gautama’s crown of bone, the Master’s Eye—getting two faces on one die; shaking jade, gold sounds.
The brush can’t imprint any words or phrases. It takes thunder to write inside the Zen lineage.
Don’t try so hard to hear, just abide by the principle.
Pointing to the Dharma Seat, he said,
The earth is sinking, this seat is high and broad—the ever-changing reward, received without effort. Then, collecting his robes, he took his seat (no questions and answers recorded) then said (picking up his notes), The exposed pillars, pregnant, suddenly bursting—an iron hammer protruding where there is no hole. Through kalpas, the whole thing leaked, right up until Jinsu Mahasattva raised Yulin hall and, from as close as a hair to the top of a comb, blew the winds of karma for a spell, turning them to water buffalo—thoroughly deranged, thoroughly wild.
This one is completely incomprehensible to me. Except for the first sentence, which seems to me to be a reference to what comes in through the senses.
East braces west supports south inverts north pounds—they can’t avoid resisting the great peace of the grass and waters, ruining the fields of Qingliang, planting deep brambles, spreading barbed caltrops all over, and thereby cutting off the roots of Linji’s life—thereby blinding the patch-robed monk’s eyes.
The four directions leave thorns everywhere and kill every Zen Master, not letting monks see clearly.
He then slapped his knee with his hand, and screamed,
Aah!! These beasts, with donkey cheeks and horses’ jaws, quoting phrases at each other—Yama douses these ridiculous people with torment and confusion. Even if you grant this, where does that effort return to, after all? Here is where we gather, amid the catalyzations of the illustrious sages.
These people say clever words, but they don't understand them. A wrathful deity makes them suffer as punishment. What does all of their talk amount to?
Raising a case (and gathering his seat), he continued,
Sansheng said, “Meeting people, I come out immediately—when I do come out, it is not to help others.” To this, Xinghua said, “I do not come out to meet people—when I do come out, I immediately help others.” These two cases are sure to test patch-robed monks exhaustively—it’ll be a tough job to lay one’s eyes on it.
This one is more straightforward. Why do some Zen Masters say they help people and others say they don't? Why do some help them by taking away their staff and others by giving them a staff?
Suddenly receiving our great benefactor, the governor of Jianking, he casually gazed about, relating to all Qingliang,
It may well be said that the dragon rumbles from the rising clouds, that the tiger roar generates a Great Wind—I have unavoidably borrowed the high official’s nose in showing some spirit in handling the monastery—still, I do have a single, quick adage that I will relate to everyone:
Ascend the top peak in a leap, ranked amongst dragons and tigers—
In peace, easy and even, personally reach the Pool of the Phoenix.
All of life, all of death, transcends words and representations—
Now, surpass your former impulse, and turn toward higher intentions.
This last part is hard to reword for me. I think it's basically describing what some people called an enlightened person. Basically different ways of saying their voice is like thunder and no one can do anything about them, since they are beyond any particular set of words or representations.
Of particular interest to me is what he says at the end. What is "surpassing your former impulse"? Is that the opposite of when Zhaozhou says Buddha is the compulsive passions? And what are "higher intentions"?
Thoughts? Questions? Complaints? Let's hear 'em.
submitted by astroemi to zen [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
submitted by sandwich_with_a_hat to bees [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:50 makesyoudownvote Why are we overcomplicating every product? (Am I taking crazy pills)

So for a bit of background I am an engineer. I am actually the kind of person who does overcomplicate designs all the time and tries to jam too many features in. I find I really have to push myself not to. My house is overloaded with needless home automations that often end up more trouble than they are worth, so I have gotten pretty good at spotting when this is happening.
Recently I have seen consumer products on the whole change for what in my opinion is objectively worse, and whenever I talk to people about it I get vague marketing language but it's clear either these people have never done a real side by side comparison, or somehow I am missing something that people just can't seem to show me. Here are three examples.
  1. Car Trunks/Boots It seems especially in luxury cars every car now comes with an automatic push key trunk. WHY!?! I might understand for a very small subset of people with shoulder injuries that can't lift their arms above their heads, but otherwise this offers absolutely no convenience and is one of the most common parts to fail on cars. Auto manufacturers clearly know this because they have all sorts of exceptions in their warranties for this part. Even without the motor, cars before could still automatically open simply through the pneumatics alone, it would work a lot faster too and considering nearly every person is capable of pulling at least a significant fraction of their body weight down it really doesn't add any convenience to have to push a button and wait for the trunk to close slowly.
  2. Spinner (4 wheel) suitcases instead of the older 2 wheel design. Again WHY? You objectively use less muscle to pull a two wheel suitcase in one direction than fighting to keep it from going every direction when pulling it. Sure you can't strafe, the bag itself has to pivot on its too wheels, but other than that it's basically objectively better. When you put it upright it doesn't roll away like the 4 wheels can. You save a few extra inches of packing space, and despite what people think, it's actually easier to roll it up and down aisles as it follows you in one direction instead of shimmying any direction (this last point though is somewhat debatable). It's to the point now when I just replaced my luggage I ended up returning 6 bags because all I could find was 4 wheel spinners. The one I finally found had several negative reviews because people felt like they were getting ripped off because it only had 2 wheels. Am I taking crazy pills?
  3. Wine Keys/waiter corkscrews with the double hinge design. Now this one I am going to say is the one I am most likely wrong about. From a physics standpoint I definitely understand why the double hinge design could be better (though if you study the offset piston design of motors you might see how the opposite could be true) but the hinges pinch, it's another moving part to break, and you can't feel the cork begin to separate the way you can on a single hinge design. I have less broken cork experiences than just about everyone else I know who spend fortunes on rabbits, or other forms of corkscrew, but I feel like I have virtually no control with those things, and the hinges often end up pinching my skin or slipping and cutting something. I understand there may be a place for the double hinge designs, the more complicated rabbits (which I will admit are a rather elegant design) and even electric wine openers, but getting the original design wine key is next to impossible to find and when you finally do, somehow they are more expensive than the more complicated ones. You have them only in the $10-20 price point or the $100-500 price point where as the double hinge ones are at every price point.
submitted by makesyoudownvote to TooAfraidToAsk [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:49 Thetaarray Thank you for entertaining us during downtime!

I really appreciate that while I can’t play the game I paid for I’m still getting Emails that give me tons of information on the battle pass!
I was really worried that my money was going to the wrong places, but this 2,273 word long marketing Email has shown me this company knows what they’re doing. Instead of sitting here watching the login que error out I can read up on why I should give them more money for the game I can’t play for an undetermined amount of time!
If they had sent out an email about login issues I would have read it really quick and had nothing else to do or worse changed my schedule to avoid trying at all! Now I can read in depth about the battle pass so I can sort of but still not really understand what I’m getting when I pay extra for a game I can’t play and don’t know when I’ll be able to.
It’s also super helpful that I get vague error codes when logging in so I can’t instantly figure out the issue. It helps pad out the downtime a bit! I’d suggest removing the icon that says there’s login issues so it takes me even longer in the future!
Thanks for putting so much thought into convincing me to pay more money! Hopefully in the future there are even more ways to spend time trying to log in that also convince me to buy more product!
submitted by Thetaarray to diablo4 [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:47 OhWowMuchFunYouGuys An Analysis of Nvidia’s Overvaluation at $386

Nvidia is a well-known technology company that specializes in designing and manufacturing graphics processing units (GPUs) for gaming, professional visualization, and artificial intelligence (AI) applications. While Nvidia has experienced significant growth and success in recent years, it is essential to evaluate the possibility of the company being overvalued at its current stock price of $386. This post aims to analyze various factors contributing to the potential overvaluation of Nvidia.
Competitive Landscape: One factor to consider is the competitive landscape. Nvidia faces intense competition from other established players, such as AMD and Intel, as well as emerging competitors in the AI space. These competitors have been investing heavily in research and development, making strides in GPU technology and AI acceleration. If Nvidia fails to maintain a competitive edge, its current valuation may not be justified.
Market Saturation and Dependency: The gaming market, which has been a significant revenue driver for Nvidia, may face saturation in the future. As the market matures and the demand for gaming GPUs stabilizes, Nvidia's growth potential could be hindered. Moreover, Nvidia's reliance on the gaming industry exposes it to potential downturns or shifts in consumer preferences, which could negatively impact its financial performance.
Macroeconomic Factors: Macroeconomic factors play a crucial role in evaluating a company's valuation. If global economic conditions deteriorate, consumer spending on high-end GPUs could decrease, affecting Nvidia's revenue and profitability. Factors like trade tensions, currency fluctuations, and economic recessions could have adverse effects on the company's financial performance, thus impacting its stock valuation.
Regulatory and Legal Risks: Nvidia operates in a highly regulated industry, and changes in regulations related to intellectual property, data privacy, and security could pose risks to its business. Legal disputes or penalties arising from violations or alleged infringements could impact the company's financials and reputation, potentially leading to a reassessment of its valuation.
Valuation Metrics: Examining traditional valuation metrics, such as price-to-earnings (P/E) ratio and price-to-sales (P/S) ratio, can help provide insights into whether a company is overvalued. Comparing Nvidia's current P/E and P/S ratios to historical averages or industry peers can help assess its valuation. If these metrics suggest an unusually high valuation compared to the company's financial performance, it may indicate overvaluation.
Conclusion: While Nvidia has been a dominant player in the GPU market and has shown remarkable growth, several factors suggest the HIGH possibility of overvaluation at its current stock price of $386. These factors include intense competition, potential market saturation, macroeconomic risks, regulatory challenges, and the analysis of traditional valuation metrics. You should carefully consider these factors and conduct further research before making investment decisions related to Nvidia at this point.
Thanks for reading V
submitted by OhWowMuchFunYouGuys to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:45 spgtto Kind of freaked out

I didn't do a lot of digging before starting Invisalign treatment. Just started week two trays today. The back doesn't feel super tight on one side so I started reading things. I'm worried I've made a huge mistake. I am set up for an 11wk plan to correct a crooked tooth in the front due to not wearing my retainer after braces. Is my bite going to be forever screwed up if I finish treatment? Are there going to be sore teeth forever? Yes I have called my dentist about the tray not being snug. Waiting to hear back at which point I will continue to ask him all of these new questions. I would love to hear anyone's real life experience though...
submitted by spgtto to Invisalign [link] [comments]

2023.06.09 00:43 twentytwothumbs Black Talon EVENT [WTB]

EVENT Quesnel, B.C. June 30-July2nd, tickets are $135,
Tickets are found at
Black Talon: New Grounds Chinese and friend’s vs US A volcano has erupted and formed a island 500km South of Taiwan. Unknown but reliable sources have left cryptic messages to China about its location and that Taiwan forces are already enroute to claim. Both groups land on opposite side of the island and fighting begins to claim the island for there country. After a few weeks China begins to use mercenaries to fight on the Taiwanese forces, at that point the Taiwanese ask the United States for armed aid. Not wanting to start World War 3. After the NATO defeat in Russia. The United States hire mercenaries from there own land and sends them to the island to Aid Taiwan. Fighting rages on for ownership of this new island. A third group known as the Black Talon have been spotted sabotaging both forces and eliminating Officers. No one know why they are acting in this way, but they are to be considered hostile.
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