We’ve been together for over a year and have lived together for over 10 months. I moved in with him due to a freak situation and it’s been great.
Some relevant context:
Until recently, my bf refused to wash any kind of produce. I would separately rinse the produce I was going to eat. This continued until he got sick, had a routine colonoscopy, and his doctor noticed a GI infection. He told him to start washing his produce, and he finally agreed it was a good idea.
A few weeks later, my BF took our steak leftovers out of the fridge and onto the counter in a Tupperware. About 4-5 hours later he went to heat it up. I thought about his GI issue and said something, esp because I was also going to eat that meat. I said “hey, just so you know, that’s a potential food safety issue.” He was confused, and I explained that meat shouldn’t be left at room temperature for >2 hrs. Did I think it was going to kill us? No. I ended it with saying that it’s probably fine but in general it’s better to not leave meat at room temperature for more than 2 hrs. He mentioned that his cookbooks suggest letting meat get to room temperature before reheating them, but moved on.
After dinner, I did the dishes. The sink was fully of dirty dishes that had mayo/oil on them. I saw that he had put the clean InstaPot lid on top of the dirty dishes. IMO, that creates another thing for me to clean. I think it makes more sense just to put the InstaPot on a towel (bc it gets wet with steam) on the counter instead of in the dirty sink.
So, I asked “does the InstaPot lid need to be washed?” and he said no. I started to say “oh okay. If you don’t mind, in the future—“ and he cut me off by saying “oh great, here comes another dressing down.” I stopped talking & became upset because he always accuses me of dressing him down. I don’t mean to be motherly/domineering. I just wanted to ask him to not put it in the sink because then I have to wash it when mayonnaise gets all over it. We ended up having a massive argument about this and he said that the right thing to do in both situations was for me to say nothing at all. I don’t think I was demeaning in how I said it.
I feel that his solution is rude and unfair. If I live in the house too, why am I not allowed to have an opinion on something that affects both of us? Why can’t I suggest a different way of doing things if I believe it makes more sense? Even if we disagree, by asking I can find out his rationale for his method of doing things and then maybe I will agree and then the issue is solved. I don’t think it’s fair that I have to just shut up and do things in what I perceive to be an inferior way because the mere suggestion that his method could be improved upon constitutes a “dressing down.” I think the solution is that he should be less sensitive to perceived criticism. That argument was never resolved and we sort of agreed to disagree, which doesn’t solve the issue of our communication.
Cut to now: We were expecting a maintenance man but didn’t know when. I slept in yesterday as it was Sunday. I awoke to the sound of knocking at our door and ringing the doorbell. It was 9:30 AM and I was naked in bed so I called my bf (he was on balcony). I said “I just woke up to knocking on the door. Please don’t let them in because I’m naked.” He didn’t really respond but I heard him let in the worker. I like to be clothed/look presentable if we have other people in the apt, so I threw clothes on and began brushing my teeth/washing my face. I knew the worker would eventually be coming into the master bath to fix something in the shower, so I was hustling. Before I could finish washing my face, my bf asked if they could come look at the shower. I asked for a couple mins. Finally, I left the bathroom and had to awkwardly say hi to the guy while still looking a mess because I hadn’t had time to brush my hair. I ended up going into the one room where I knew the maintenance worker wouldn’t go, which was the other bathroom. I sat in the tub for like 20 mins until he left. When I left, my bf goes “oh no, you had to hide in the bathroom!” I was pretty annoyed but decided I didn’t want to have WWIII that early in the morning and let it go.
This recent issue is still unresolved and I want to address it. I would like to ask him to check with me before letting someone in our apartment. How do I say that without dressing him down?
Am I the problem here? How can I effectively communicate my concerns/preferences to him without coming across as dressing him down?
TLDR: My bf accuses me of dressing him down every time I ask him to do something differently. I want to ask him to ask me before letting people in our apartment in a way that he doesn’t perceive as being dressed down, but I don’t know how to do that.

I took my baby to do a skin prick test today for egg, peanut, avocado, banana and raspberry.
Egg and peanut were obvious and confirmed.
There seemed to be a tiny raised spot for avocado and banana, but the doctor said anything less than 3mm doesn't count. After he cleaned up the test sites and put cream on her back we chatted more and then he left.
When we were dressing her, we noticed there was definitely a hive for banana and avocado. Banana was for sure 3mm.
Does this slower to appear reaction not count?
(She had a few hives after eating avocado at home)
(She projectile vomited 4-5 times after eating raspberry and banana. But he doesn't truly suspect FPIES either. She has FPIES to Oats)

This is clearly a throwaway account but I need to dump this information out without admitting it to my husband.
My husband and I have been together since 2013. And married since 2017. We have a son 3 M, that we are both crazy about. We have a house and 2 dogs. Life should be good? Right?
Back story: About 6 months my husband and I went with my family on vaca. It was like the second night in and I heard his phone ding in the middle of the night. Now I don't remember if it was a midnight pee break or the ding that woke me. But I found that he was messaging on a texting site. The messages and pictures to all these randos were extremely inappropriate and sexual. That's when it started. Now this was just the first time but not the last time he something of that nature. Its probably been at more than 5 times less than a dozen in our decade long relationship. I really don't remember. And I hated keeping track. I just know it hurt like hell each time.
Now here is where I am a shit person.... I did it back every time he did it to me. But he never found out. Why did I do that? As revenge? Keeping score to feel better without him knowing? I would flirt and sext for a small period of time then move on. It made me feel a little better.
As of a couple years ago I started struggling hard with depression and suicidal idealations. So I'm definitely going through some shit. (Not ever an excuse. I know. I know.) Just start therapy and still trying to find meds that help me. But I feel like I need to leave my husband to make me feel right again. The last time he he did anything hurtful was about 2 years ago. He begged and pleaded. And after 2 weeks I took him back. He treated amazingly for a couple months then we kinda slid back into the norm.
The norm being as a full grown man with stunted emotions, ADHD, and "the baby" of the family, he was very much in need of guidance. We have fight often about slitting chores and how he still has to maintain our vehicles (Which I am thank for). But he always makes it out that this is a daily thing to work on the cars or fix something broken in the house to get out of scrubbing the floor every week or so. So he would fly off the handle and we would get into it. As of lately we have been better at communicating but it's still hard to get over years of that.
My biggest mistakes... I went on a trip for work and ended up sleeping with my boss; Suave, witty, with a cheeky mischievous smile. I dont know a whole lot about him but from what i do know he is clearly going through some shit right now. I went to help out with work where he is helping twice. The second day I was there my boss made a joke about getting me a beer. (Which isn't the first time he has said this to me and others) so at the end of the day he told me he was locking up and I said "oh are you kicking me out?" And he thought... well you know. So he did. We drove to his hotel and I left my car there. And he took me to the bar he frequents. We are talking and laughing. I made a joke how I shouldn't have anymore because "three [beers] under the host" and he started laughing and said about shots. And Im thinking well shit. I've always thought he was cute. But I know I'm gonna chicken out and it won't happen. Well tipsy me climbed into his bed and took off my pants under the blanket and asked for sweats. He "bent down" to get the sweats out of his suit case and look at me. Aaaand I kissed him. And went, as he called it, "ham" when I started undressing him.
The sex. THE SEX. He is definitely into some kinky rough sex kinda shit. At times he kinda scared me a little. He was into handcuffs, choking, choke holds, making me choke on his dick, shoving his fingers down my throat until I vomited damn near fisting (at least that's how it felt 💁‍♀️) and slapping. It was intense. He left bruise all over me that I had for a week. And bruises on my neck from when he choked me until I blacked out. I would be a MESS eveytime after. That I would get dressed and leave while he was in the bathroom.
Over the 2 weeks I went there, we had slept together 4 times. I knew it was wrong. The last time we did.... it. The deed. He stayed with me at my hotel. We slept together. Him in nothing. And me in his shirt. He seemed mad every time I left him like he wanted to stay together. But I told him "it was bad enough I was having an affair" But that was the wrong word.. I dont have feelings for him. I would never want to be with him or leave my husband for him. But he was totally into the fact that I am married and his "little slut"
It ended when he said the assignment "couldn't be justified". And it been a month since that day. We haven't seen each other. Spoke a little about me going out there again. But thats it.
So now the cheating had stopped. I can't stop thinking about want to sleep with him again. Even though it was a mildly traumatic experience. I also feel extremely guilty about it. And a little confused because he was so aggressive but I kept going back to it. Like I kinda liked it.
I've been fickle about my relationship since he last had his moments of infidelity. But I'm not much better. And now I'm.... well much worse. And for that I kind of want to leave him. Partly because of guilt and that he deserves better but also I can't tell him why. I don't want to loose my job or have him deck my boss.
So this is my story. Answer any the questions. Am I the ASS-tronaut for this? How fucked up am I? How do I tell him without telling him who? Did I just break my best friends' heart and wreck my child's life?

[Other]
What would you think about an alternate universe with a female-Clark as Superwoman in the golden age, is the only change together with her love interest, is not Earth-11...meet Clara Kent/Superwoman!
[this is just a stunt for discussing characters on a Superfamily alternative universe and for a potential fan art serie or fan fic, every criticism, joke, comment, suggestion, question is well received!]
NAME: KALA-EL/CLARA JOSEPHINE KENT/SUPERWOMAN
BORN: Krypton, a moon in a distant galaxy// 28/02/1918, SMALLVILLE, KANSAS
PROFESSION: ASSISTANT REPORTER
YEAR: 1948
PLACE: METROPOLIS (NYC)
-Farmgirl, born Kansas 1918. No sisters no brothers.
-Nicest girl in the office but very unffuny
-Disappears without reason very often.
-Lives alone in a little flat, has a dog called Krypto
-Daddy issues, his father didn’t let her pursue a career as ballet dancer or swimmer (he didn’t want her to take advantage of her powers), died when she was 18
-Former nurse during the war
-Loves children and dogs
-Tomboyish trails. Not quite elegant.
-Music-Hall fan, Katherine Hepburn and James Stewart fan
-Favourite books: Scarlet Pimpernel adventures, Jane Austen, Upton Sinclair and Virginia Wolf, somewhat eclectic
-She does a lot of sucking up to his boss (not literally), a 1940s very liberal Republican style journalist Perry Weiss, chief editor of the Daily Planet. She hates her boss Cat Grant
-Ambiguous relationship with her other boss Louis Lane
-Strange friendship with young millionaire Bruce Wayne
-Always good scoops but never appears in the front line and too stubborn and independent to grow fast in the newspaper
-Progressive quaker like her fathers
-Civil rights supporter
-Hates General McArthur, hates even more Lex Luthor
-Loves Eleanor Roosevelt but also Governor Dewey.
-Hates guns
-Supports unions, splits ticket between Metropolis Liberal Party and the two main parties. Politicians must be kind.
- SUPERHEROINE LIFE
-Superpowers like invulnerability, flight, super-speed, super-stamina, super-strength, X-ray vision, etc
-Can flight to a Match100 speed
-Acts as Superwoman since 1945
-Defeated Zod invasion in 1946
-Initial bad relationship with Batman but now close friends and allies
-Didn’t act as Superwoman during the World War II because she was afraid of her powers, after the discovery of the holocaust and the atomic bombs she decided to step in and showed herself to the world on autumn 1945.
-Worst enemy: Lex Luthor, heir of Nikola Tesla, rocket engineer & CEO of TELCORP (Tesla-Luthor Co.)
-Deeply in love with Louis Lane, which strongly rejects the Superheroine
-Widely admired
FAMILY & ORIGINS
The El family & Krypton
Krypton was a decadent civilization located on a moon near a large gaseous planet in the orion belt. In the past they had visited earth and other planets expanding civilization, but their penchant for slavery, war, resource extraction and violence caused many of these projects to fail. Even in 10,500 BC the Kryptonians almost caused the terraforming of the earth, melting the poles and destroying Atlantis and other civilizations, causing among other things the end of the ice age.
Over the centuries the Kryptonians lost the fuel necessary to travel and ended up confined to their planet, dedicated to warfare, genetic engineering-creating clones whose organs they needed to extend their lives-to pleasure and to exploiting the subsoil of their planet.
Jor-El and Lara were a couple of scientists critical of the system and supporters of a kind of democracy and pacifism. They had a daughter, Kala-El in a natural way against all the rules of Krypton. Lara managed to manufacture a small ship capable of making a space jump to save her daughter from the end of Krypton. General Zod stole her design and managed to build a larger fleet of ships but Jor-El managed to sabotage them and send them to the phantom zone. Lara decided to send Kala to Earth because she felt that her culture was much kinder and more hopeful than Jor-El who preferred to send her to New Genesis, another inhabited planet far away.
Joe&Martha Kent, Kansas life
Joe and Martha Kent were a Quaker farming couple whose farm was struck by the pod carrying Kala-El in 1918. Although owners of substantial property they were a very humble, cooperative, austere, devout and civil rights-minded people. Martha Kent was a descendant of Kansas abolitionist guerrilla fighter John Brown. They both raised Clara very lovingly and unwilling to ask too many questions about the baby's origin. Clara was a very sickly child as her body did not adapt to the earth, she was affectionate and obedient and devoured books. The Kent family were avowed supporters of the New Deal and Joe Kent was one of the leaders of the local farmers union.
With puberty she developed very fast and her superpowers began to appear. Clara soon began to excel in swimming and ballet, but Joe forbade her to pursue a professional career to prevent her from taking advantage of her powers, and also forbade her to use her superpowers to help others, fearful of humanity's reaction and wary of savior messiahs in the era of interwar dictators. Clara rebelled against her father but eventually gave in. In 1936 Joe Kent died of a heart attack. Clara was unable to go to college after her father's death and worked as a teacher and nurse's aide in Smalville. Her engagement to Pete Ross, her teenage sweetheart failed in 1939 when she revealed her powers to Pete and he panicked, although he later promised to keep the secret.
Between 1939 and 1941 Clara lived in Canada and Alaska searching for the Fortress of Solitude but with the outbreak of World War II she decided to enlist as a nurse in the Pacific, refusing to use her powers except to help the wounded, fearing to cause more harm than good. After a leave of absence in 1944 she returned to Alaska where she found the Fortress of Solitude and its true origin.
After learning about the Holocaust first and the atomic bombs later, Clara decided to become Superwoman with the support of her mother Martha and emigrated to Metropolis, where in October 1945 she was hired by Louis Lane, who had just returned from Europe.
DAILY PLANET CHARACTERS
-Major Louis Lane, senior reporter in the Daily Planet, see below
-Perry Weiss, owner and editor in chief of the Daily Planet. Born in Oddessa in 1886. Jewish inmigrant from humble origins who became a skilled journalist and founded the Daily Planet as a tool of the Metropolis Republican Party to unseat the city bosses of the time. Still a staunch liberal, he supported Roosevelt in 1932 and 1936, is an ally of Mayor LaGuardia and won the Pulitzer Prize in the 1920s for defending the innocence of Sacco and Vanzetti. Friend and ally of Louis Lane's father. He is very demanding with his employees but is very fond of Clara. He admires and defends Superwoman despite Louis Lane's distrust. Best friend of Cat Grant.
-Cat Grant, Co-chair of Perry Weiss, Pulitzer winner, closeted lesbian and Ayn Rand Fan. Born 1901, she comes from a fine family of Metropolis Kineckerbockers. She is like Louis the least liberal element of the newspaper. To protect herself she married a very old friend of her father's who helped her lead a double life. For twenty years she lived with a painter named Margaret Ivy. Considered the best writer of the Daily Planet, in addition to being a journalist she has published two novels. Very elegant and popular in intellectual circles. She is tremendously authoritarian. She mistreats Clara a lot because she does not respect her authority and because of her different political ideas, but as Clara grows as a journalist and Cat Grant suspects that she is Superwoman, she will protect her and push her forward without Clara knowing it. Best friend of Perry Weiss.
-Assistant photographer Jimmy Olsen and best friend of Clara. He comes from a town in Massachusetts. He is 7 years younger than Clara. He is a party animal, friendly, generous and somewhat naive. Yet he is a skilled photographer who has been able to capture the worst of the night and day of Metropolis. Miraculously he always gets the best pictures of Superwoman (Clara helps him a little). Very democratic and complains about working for a newspaper that is too conservative for his taste. Adores Clara whom she treats as her big sister. It doesn't even cross her mind that she is Superwoman. Jimmy thinks that Louis is a snob and a bigot.
LOUIS LANE:
NAME: LOUIS LANE
BORN: 08/02/1912, METROPOLIS (NYC)
PROFESSION: SENIOR REPORTER
YEAR: 1948
PLACE: METROPOLIS (NYC)
-Rich family, born in 1912, first of 6 brothers
-Caustic, cynical, ironic but somewhat kind
-Commanding
-Lives in Park Avenue with a 6-year old daughter and his rich unfaithful wife. Very unhappy marriage
-Major rank during the war in the US army.
-Elegant, sportsman, plays violin.
-Teaches musics lessons in an orphan house in secret
-Not that snobbish nor Wasp, new rich family traits
-Classic music and literature lover
-Heavy drinker
-Does not enjoy journalism, thinking of quitting to politics or teaching literature
-Jewish father (Lane surname is a change from Lantzman), Irish catholic mother, raised catholic and religious, but not extremely orthodox
-His father is a self-made tycoon, started as democrat in the Tammany Hall switched to republican. Close ally of Mayor LaGuardia.
-Fought in the european theater during World War II. Conservative republican opposed to his father liberal republican views, loves McArthur.
-Has a good opinion of Lex Luthor, sees him as an innovator and freedom fighter.
-Perry Weiss favourite reporter.
-Very nice and paternalistic to Clara, pushes Clara's career forward despite Cat Grant's opposition. He is secretly in love with Clara. Although he rejects Superwoman and suspects she is the same person as Clara, he deludes himself and rejects these suspicions.
-Tired of New Deal Politics, anticommunist
-“a brilliant and kind man” for the majority of the Daily Planet staff, a “terrible asshole” for many others like Jimmy Olsen
-Strongly rejects Superwoman and other heroes
-Sometimes Clara really hates him.
-Famous line “Neither reds nor capes”
-He lives a bizarre love triangle with Clara Kent and Superwoman. Although he publicly rejects the superheroine he also desires her and he and Superwoman have had moments of passion, which Louis feels guilty about because he is married and because of his religion. On the other hand he is in love with Clara Kent as much as he rejects the figure of Superwoman, he deludes himself about the identity of both. A bit James Stewart in Vertigo, which destabilizes and infuriates Clara.
ENEMIES
Lex Luthor
Rocket engineer, CEO of TELCORP and Heir of Nikola Tesla. Brilliant scientist, defines himself as a "radical humanist", but in the early 30s supported closetely fascism to stop "imperialism" and "usury" and now secretly supports Stalin to defeat "predatory western capitalism". The world's greatest philanthropist. Loving father and husband. Hates Superwoman to death and believes she spells the end of humanity. Paranoid and ruthless but convinced that he does everything for the greater good.
General Zod & Faora
Political dissidents like the El on Krypton on the other hand believed that Krypton's only salvation lay in emigrating and invading, terraforming and exterminating other planets. They almost succeeded in a coup d'état but after their failure they and their henchmen tried to flee by space jumping their ships, Jor-El managed to sabotage the launch and send them to the phantom zone. Over the years they managed to escape and arrived on Earth in 1946, shortly after Clara showed herself to the world as Superwoman. They tried to exterminate all humanity but Superwoman and some American and Russian scientists managed to defeat them. Their invasion caused 5,000 human casualties but could have caused complete extermination. The experience was traumatic for Clara because she had to send Zod and Faora back to the phantom zone where they would surely die. Zod, Faora and their henchmen had not yet developed the full powers of a yellow sun like Earth's and so several of them were killed by human bombs and missiles. Their remains were stored by Russians and Americans. Superwoman managed to expel all Kryptonian technology and weaponry into space so that humans would not use it for warfare.
The Toyman
Former entrepreneur and inventor of the 1920s toy business who was ruined in the Great Depression by banks and various betrayals. After a crime spree he was imprisoned in 1933 but escaped from prison recently completely crazed and ready to take revenge on the whole city using his inventions.
Doomsday
A truly near-indestructible abomination mistakenly created by the U.S. military in Zone 51 using the remains of the Kryptonians defeated by Superwoman in the failed 1946 invasion and a strange alien technology found in Roswell that was hidden from Superwoman.
Brainiac "the eternal traveller"
An android, merging a famous astronaut and artificial intelligence, which was used by the first civilization of Krypton to collect information from other worlds. It is more than 100,000 years old. With the passage of time he revealed against the Kryptonians, became evil and phobic to any form of life that he considered imperfect or inferior. It caused the destruction of many cultures. He wanders through space visiting planets and analyzing life forms. He probably has no enthusiasm for humans, much less for a descendant of the House of El.
If you want to check some ai fan art you can find it here: THE SUPERWOMAN FROM KRYPTON by lordmallory on DeviantArt or here THE SUPERWOMAN FROM KRYPTON : ImaginaryDC (reddit.com)

Hey all,
I've been inactive on here for awhile. During that time, I struggled a lot with my addiction. I'm not sober anymore. I've been too ashamed to post, and I've wanted to pretend that I'm okay. I've isolated myself, and it just made things worse.
I once was 270 days sober, and today I feel bad. I feel really bad. But I don't want to lose the person I've become throughout this journey. I'm not throwing away the progress I made on my mental health.
I am in a loving relationship with the girl of my dreams, and I refuse to lose that. I refuse to be less than the person I want to be.
I want to talk to people. I don't want to be alone with this addiction anymore. I want to talk about how much this sucks, I want to encourage others to get through the day and get the same encouragement back. I want to be proactive toward my mental health, work on my self-awareness, and be sober once again.
I've tried searching online for recovery groups, but many of the ones I have found focus heavily on religion. I'm not sure how I feel about this, and I'd like to be somewhere that is inclusive to everybody, regardless of religious views.
Does anybody know of any communities for PA recovery? I'd appreciate anything from group chats to weekly meetings.

A good girl looks her best for Daddy: she knows how her Daddy likes her hair, and dress, and makeup, and puts the effort into making sure she always looks her best for her man.
A good girl takes care of her Daddy: she helps keep his life clean and orderly and comfortable so that he can take care of her.
A good girl is happy to see her Daddy: she greets him with a smile and a beverage and is eager to talk about her day and learn about his.
A good girl wants to be useful: she knows her body belongs to Daddy, and that she’s his toy to play with. She welcomes every time her Daddy wants to use her, any way he can think of. If he wants to take pleasure in her holes, or release tension through her suffering, she is delighted to know that she can be of service to her Daddy.
A good girl welcomes corrections. She knows that she could always be a better girl, and that Daddy will never let her step out of line or be even a tiny jot less than the perfect good girl he knows she can be.
A good girl is between twenty-one and thirty-four years old, smart, submissive, reasonably together and knows that this is the life she wants, she is 420 friendly and longs to serve. She’s attracted to a Daddy who is forty-eight, nerdy, professional, experienced and, white, attractive but with a solidly cuddly body (i.e., going soft around the middle).
The less cute version: I’m a 48 year old Midwestern dom looking for a long term, ultimately IRL, TPE relationship with strong dark-traditional or 1950s vibes. Send a message.

Well, I've been sitting on this for a bit now, so thank you to u/cmdr_shadowstalker, u/BruhMomentGEE, and u/Kazevenikov for their editing help. I know these past few chapters have been heavy, but they are crucial to the long road ahead. Life truly is the journey for we all know our eventual destination. Without any further ado, the newest chapter.
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FIRST ---- PREVIOUS ---- [NEXT]
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Sera sighed as she looked up at the ceiling. It had been almost a week since Cain had left and she could feel his absence taking its toll. She had sometimes woken up, eager to make him breakfast, only to be greeted by silence as she tore the blankets off. Allison had come by a couple days ago for a movie night, but she had left early as her posting was being moved around and she was being called back to help train new Marines, on Earth this time.
​
So…here she was, staring up at the ceiling thinking about Cain. Sera had thought that the time would fly and she would get a message from him on a courier ship but…nothing.
​
The beeping of her omnipad shook her out of her funk a bit, the digital bell grating a bit to her more sensitive ears.
​
“Hello?” Sera asked, her voice tired.
​
“Hey girl! How’s it going?” the enthusiastic voice of Meli said from the other end of the line. Sera sighed as her more upbeat tone gave her something to focus on.
​
Sera sighed as she deflated a bit on the bed. “Fine. Just…great.”
​
She could hear Meli frowning from the other end of the line.
“Sera…you don’t sound fine. You can tell me girl, it’s okay. You and Cain only recently made up and…well, it got bad between you two if I remember what Allison told me. I could come over if you want,” Meli offered, her tone becoming gentler and more caring.
Sera shook her head and curled up on her side, boring imaginary holes into the drywall opposite her. Wanting nothing more than to just not talk about those awful two weeks. “N-no. It’s fine. I just…it’s a bit of a funk, okay? I’m fine Meli, truly I am,” she warbled, the memories of all the restless nights and painful memories beginning to well again.
“I’m not convinced Sera. You sound hurt. I’ll be over as soon as I can, and I may have a surprise for the three of us. See you in a bit!” Meli chirped before ending the call.
“I-wait! Meli? Meli? Damnit!” Sera cursed, her brief outburst leading her deflate more and more. She sighed as she thought about the brief things that had flashed in her mind. How Meli should have left her alone, how she still needed Cain-
The thought hit like a freight train, waves of sorrow crashing over her like a grotesque wave as she thought back to the things she had called Cain. How she had lashed out at him, driving him away when they needed each other the most. Sera felt herself grow weak at how she nearly tore herself apart in front of him, content to destroy the life they had built together.
She didn’t even care that she was still naked, the sheet offering little to nothing in terms or protection against the cold air of the AC. Sera shivered as the malaise took over, her bed now offering only cold comfort instead of the warmth of her fiancé by her side. She sniffled as another synthetic ping echoed from her omnipad, reluctantly rolling over to look at the message.
>Allison: Sent: 2:12 PM
Sera wanted to sink into the bed at Allison’s message, wanting to just be alone. A part of her scolded her for closing herself off, inwardly saying that she needed Allison and Meli now more than ever. But deep down another, more primal part of her kept her closed off and isolated. She had failed as a woman, to protect her man, from her own choices to boot. She deserved this.
Sera could feel the tears well up again as someone knocked on the door. Sniffling, she stumbled out of bed and navigated through the tight hallway. She coughed from a bit of spit going the wrong way and finally landed at the door, steeling herself before twisting the knob and opening up.
“Hey, did you get my mess-?” Allison began, stopping and fumbling a bit as Sera propped herself up in the doorway, her body in the nude.
“I…what is it?” Sera asked, her tone sad, almost defeated.
Allison swallowed. “Uh, well, you’re naked.”
“Huh? Oh, I didn’t notice,” Sera sighed about to close the door again. Allison reacted quickly and stopped Sera from shutting herself off again, the amazonian hybrid slipping inside.
“Hey, c’mon Sera, this isn’t you. Why don’t we go out for lunch? You look like you could use something to eat,” Allison tried, pointing to where Sera had slacked, her once fit yet plump body now looking more like the fresh recruits Allison saw at the newly established garrisons around the state.
“So? Does it matter?” Sera groaned, shuffling her way back to the bedroom, Allison following close behind.
“Yes, it absolutely does! Sera, Cain wouldn’t want this for you. Just, please, reach out. I’m here for you,” Allison sighed, Sera ignoring her.
“Y’know what, I don’t care. You and I are going to lunch whether you like it or not.”
Sera slowly turned to face Allison, her face a mask of sadness. “I…I just want to be alone.”
“No. This…you are not going to become one of those sob stories they write about on the datanet. Here, let me pick something out for you,” Allison asserted, striding over to the rather small walk-in closet and pulling aside some of the garments from the bar.
“Hmm, what about this?” Allison said, emerging after a few minutes of digging, a yellow sundress in her hands.
“That was Cain’s favorite. He always said I looked so nice in it,” Sera deadpanned, flopping onto the bed, spread-eagle and mumbling into the mattress.
“Sera, you know he will be back. It’s required that he at least-”
“And if he doesn’t? What if he never comes back, Ali? What if he just used this as an excuse to dump me?” Sera mumbled, her words unclouded after rolling over to stare at the ceiling again.
“Would he have given you so much grief about you tearing into yourself if he was just going to leave you? Would he have been so adamant about taking his engagement band with him if he was just going to dump you? Sera…Cain loves you. He is strong in his own way. Now, it’s your turn,” Allison huffed, hanging the sundress on an open spot on the rack that hung over the bedroom door.
“But…but..” Sera sputtered, the cold beginning to nip at her thoughts again, her body shivering from a lack of clothes.
“No buts Sera. Now, what do you think of this little number?” Allson smiled, showing off a rather nice looking mauve blouse, the shirt looking much more form fitting than the dress.
Sera slowly propped herself on her elbows to look at the piece and sighed. “Cain…I…can we try something else? I…I don’t want to wear Cain’s color.”
Allison raised an eyebrow at the statement but put her thoughts about on the side for now. After a little more digging she found a sea foam green blouse, complete with a sea turtle on the front.
"I think this one looks cute. Where did you get it?"
Sera sighed as another cold blast of air hit her exposed body, not wanting to do anything but sink into the mattress. "Cain…got it for me at the aquarium. He…looked so nice that day…"
"C'mon Sera, please? Can…can you just try it on?" Allison weakly smiled, offering the shirt to Sera. The Nighkru sighed as she sat up, taking the shirt and putting it on grumpily.
"There, happy now?" Sera bit back, her tone rather icy and pointed. Allison didn't let it worry her.
"Hmm, yeah. Though…you should wear a bra…and, well…finish getting dressed. I'll go start the truck," Allison chirped, Sera looking down at the brown shag carpet of the bedroom.
"Bu-but he's…"
"Sera, I swear, if you don't get dressed, I will tickle you until you pass out again," Allison threatened, eyeing Sera as the Nighkru's eyes went wide with fear.
"You wouldn't dare-"
Allison giggled. "Course I would. Now, get dressed. At least do it for me, okay?"
Sera finally relented and slid off the bed, slowly resigning herself to the idea of leaving the house. She dug through her drawers, the pieces of furniture dangerously close to being empty, the small mountain of discarded clothes a testament to Sera’s attitude for the past week or so. It loomed in the corner of the room like a specter, the smell sharp and acute of tears and sweat. Sera tried to ignore the increasing scent but she wrinkled her nose out of reflex and got a full whiff of her laundry. Sera sighed at her neglected laundry pile, the stench becoming more acute.
She reached for the bottle of air freshener and squeezed the trigger, the aerosol mist releasing a pleasant smell of fresh sheets and sunshine. Sera couldn’t help but smile a bit at the memories the smell invoked, reminding her of when she washed clothes with Cain at his uncle’s, the wash drying for hours in the hot South Texas sun, the smell of wildflowers on the breeze as her and Cain shared a few cans of beer on the back porch. While the pool was still absolutely infested with algae, Sera did smirk a bit as she remembered chasing him around with a hose, squealing like a little kid when she managed to spray him down in the icy mist of the hose.
Sera smiled for a moment more than felt herself hollow out again. The memories were pleasant, but without Cain…it felt like she was missing a piece of her. However, she couldn’t dwell on the past forever and Cain would be back. An awful thought always scraped at the back of her head though. What if…what if he brought someone else home? What if she wasn’t the first anymore?
Cain…he wouldn’t…he never would. He…he didn’t even pursue Allison. Why do I think he would do that to me?
She mulled the thought over as she slid one of the last few pairs of underwear on, a rather skimpy black number she had bought for one of her date nights. She rolled her eyes at the irony of the garment now, but only just. Her only remaining bra followed, one of the tighter fitting ones as she struggled to squeeze into it, the straps loosening just enough to support her assets. She shook her head as she looked at herself in the mirror, her once toned yet supple arms now more spindly and Sera swore she could see a few veins showing through her skin. Speaking of, her skin was no longer uniform in color, with several dark bruises in her arms and core from when she ran into things around the house, whether it be the countertop or the massive oaken desk with their newly installed computer.
Her muscles were less defined than before, and Sera wanted to sob as she saw the now emerging gut where lean and trim abs used to be, the weight of her letting herself go on full display. She shook the thought off though, hardening her resolve as she slipped the aquarium shirt on, the garment loose in all the right places. Sera then opened the closet once more and dug around for her favorite pair of jeans…only to find her back up pairs and the pair she bought tight out of basic at a ridiculous markup since some trader had “exclusive access” to Earth. They weren’t even real blue jeans, probably some mystery fabric spit out by a fabricator, one way too rough to be denim and almost midnight black. Sera rolled her eyes at the ridiculous bottoms, pinning the idea to just give them away as a pair of women’s dress pants or the like. But that was for later.
It took a bit tucking and wiggling into but Sera managed to slide on a pair of her backup jeans, her butt looking absolutely enormous as the fabric clung to her behind. Sera shook her head as she walked out of the closet, the jeans still a bit too tight in the thighs for her liking. She did however love the deep pockets on the pants, having ample room for her credit chit, wallet, keys and QualQuartz dataslate that Meli had gotten her for Christmas.
Sera took a look back at the disheveled room, her things strewn all over the place. Some of the pillows on the bed had a mix of dried tears and alcohol, the sheets stained and dirty after her outpourings of grief. She sighed at the sorry state of the room, the mental fog thick at times, overwhelming at others. She took a deep breath as she felt for the light switch from her, letting as much of the pain flow out of her. She counted to ten after every breath, slowly calming down, and when she was ready, she turned out the light to the bedroom, the mess shrouded under a thick mist of darkness.
Sera patted down her pockets one last time while she made her way through the hallway, confident she had all her things. As she rounded the corner into the living room, Sera briefly considered grabbing her purse, but, after a bit of internal deliberation, decided against it. She had enough with her wallet and chits as it was, so bringing the bag would be unnecessary.
She took a long, sweeping look at the small living space, the place nearly untouched ever since Cain left. She was about to shed a tear when Allison honked from outside, the blare of the horn startling her out of her thoughts. Annoyed for a split second by the reminder, Sera huffed and made her way outside, closing and locking the door. The hallway was spotless, and she could hear the sounds of construction echoing from other parts of the complex as the new Shil’vati owner renovated the property. The minor Noble who now owned the land needed an outlet for a recent glut of wealth, and with popular opinion falling with some of her other…choice assets, the family had chosen to go on a renovation spree. Soon Sera would have to start packing things to move into an empty unit in order for the construction crew to bring the block up to code and make it more open and furnished. It also helped that the old mall attached to the front side of the complex got bought out as well, the same family hiring multiple firms to liven up the old, nearly abandoned place.
But none of that was Sera's business. For now, all she had to do was take things one step at a time. She stepped out of the hallway, Allison already drumming her fingers on the steering wheel of her truck, the vehicle oversized for Sera but perfectly sized for Allison. She thanked the goddess that the runner was low enough for her to climb in, Sera feeling like a teenager again as she flopped down into the seat.
"So, any place in mind?" Allison asked, smiling down at her.
"Uh…hmm…how does Chili's sound?" Sera offered, a shy smile spreading across her face..
Allison rubbed her shoulder, firing up the engine. She tuned the radio to an old country station, checking the backup camera as she hummed along to the nearly ancient songs.
Sera couldn't help but smile, her prospective girlfriend giving off some of the same energy Cain would have if he had arranged a date for just Sera and him.
​
—
​
"So…any idea of what you want for lunch?" Allison asked as the two of them slid into a booth, the Human server quickly bustling off to get their drinks. Sera was going to be going light, maybe a single margarita and some water. She didn’t want to overdo it today. Allison had settled on a craft beer of some kind that Sera didn’t recognize, Allison saying that it was rather good. Sera chose not to comment, her past few weeks had been filled with too much beer already, so just the one drink felt better.
Besides, I need to start weaning off the booze anyways. I have to go back to work at some point. And classes. Sera thought to herself, sighing as Allison looked over the menu. Her electric blue eyes peeked over the top edge of the laminated paper, much more alert than before.
“Sera? He-llo, Earth to Sera?” Allison asked, lowering the menu a bit, her expression more concerned than before.
Sera blinked a few times and let a small, nervous laugh escape. “Y-yeah, just…just thinking about some things.”
“Mmm. So…you wanna talk about it?” Allison asked, her concerned expression dissipating as her normal happier demeanor reappeared.
Sera tried to not giggle a bit, Allison being very easy on the eyes, almost like she had some of the more brutish features of a Shil’vati toned down a bit. “Ah, not really. It’s mostly about work or not drinking too much,” She admitted, blushing a bit as Allison nodded her head in acknowledgement.
“I get that. I have a pretty good counselor at my disposal if you want to talk to someone other than myself,” Allison smiled contentedly. The light of the midday winter sun gave ample light and Sera swore she caught the light hitting at certain angles; Allison’s eyes sparkled, the electric blue of her eyes making it clear she had implants of some kind.
Allison looked up and past Sera, a massive smile growing across her face. “Meli, so good to see you again!”
Sera nearly choked on a stray glob of spit, the Rakiri looking down at her old friend. “Allison invited me, Sera. Sorry to crash your date.”
Meli slid in beside Allison, the Shil’vati handing her the menu so she could look over it. “I…date? Allison…is this what this is? Why didn’t you just tell me?” Sera sputtered, Allison flushing blue at the observation.
“I uh…well…” the Shil’vati sputtered while Sera set down her menu and clasped Allison’s somewhat larger hands. She choked up a bit as Sera rubbed them gently, a deeply hidden smile crossing her features.
“Thank you Allison,” Sera sighed happily, breaking off the connection and pulling back; setting her menu aside, already decided on what she wanted.
“Welcome to Chili’s, my name is Bella and I’ll be helping you today. Can I get you started with any appetizers?” a cheery feminine voice asked from beside her. Sera looked towards the source of the voice, only to be confused at the dusky yellow alien that stood with an apron and notepad next to their table. She looked near Human, the only noticeable differences being of course the color of her complexion and what seemed to be very, *very* fine interlocking scales, her skin looking more beaded than scaly, but very smooth and polished. Almost like a dragon’s scales from old Human myths. Her hair was also stark black, and she had long, almost talon-like fingernails, painted a lovely shade of white.
“Uh…yeah. Can we get a Tripler Dipper and a Skillet Queso?” Allison asked, the waitress jotting it down almost like she was being timed.
“Alright, one Triple Dipper and a Skillet Queso. Is there anything I can get for you three while you wait? Refills, another beer perhaps?” the waitress asked, waiting expectantly. Sera was thrown off a bit by her sudden rush to get things out to them, the establishment nearly dead this time of day.
“Can I get a Dr. Pepper please?” Meli asked, the server nodding and noting it down in a flash.
“Of course!” Turning her attention to Sera, Bella asked, “Anything I can do for you ma’am?”
She gulped as Bella lowered her gaze to her, her eyes glinting and seemingly predatory. “I, uh…can I get some water?”
“One water. Got it. Do you three need some more time on what you would like to order?” Bella asked, addressing the three women.
“Yes please. Oh, and can we get chips and salsa too?” Meli replied, shooting a smile over to Sera.
“Sure thing! Those appetizers will be out in a few. Let me just run these to the kitchen and we’ll get you helped,” Bella confirmed, nodding before striding off to the kitchen, pad in hand.
“She seems nice,” Meli idly noted, seemingly glued to the page with the ribs being advertised on.
“Meli…tell me, why are you here?” Sera asked, trying to not sound offensive to her long time friend. Meli simply looked over the edge of the menu while Allison began to idly check the matching QualQuartz dataslate she had.
“Well, aside from seeing you? Brel wanted to surprise Junior with a surprise hunting trip up at Choke Canyon. Nothing too fancy, but his birthday is coming up soon. Brel really wants to take him up to the Maritimes, meet a few old friends and fish. Course, he wanted me to go, but after Cain left he ordered me to stay. Believe you me I tried to argue back, but he wouldn’t have it. But, my sister is planning to meet them there once they cross the border. Now, enough about me. How have you been?” Meli said, eyeing Sera. Allison coughed a bit, trying to look anywhere else besides the awkward conversation.
Sera sighed. She had to face this sooner or later, though a part of her desperately wanted to delay the inevitable. It wouldn’t help in the long term but…Sera steeled herself and took a deep breath.
“It’s been bad. I’ve lost sleep, I was drinking heavily, and I didn’t want to eat. Allison was the only one keeping me together, and even then only just as I felt at times that I wanted to waste away. Part of me wanted to deny Cain to anyone. If they took him away, then so did I. Looking at it now, it’s stupid and foolish. I was hurting no one but myself and Cain, and the feelings still come back from time to time. Sometimes it’s hard getting up in the morning, knowing he’s not there. That the man of the nest has been taken from you,” Sera sighed, a frown dominating her face.
“Well, we are here for you. You don’t have to hide away from us Sera. We care about Cain as much as you do. We’ll make it through together, okay?” Meli admitted, the wolf woman offering a look of shared understanding, Allison still engrossed by her dataslate.
“Thank you Meli. Allison?”
Allison looked up quickly, shutting the screen of her dataslate off, quickly stashing the device in her pocket. “M-yeah?” she stammered out, her face flushing blue as she tried to not look embarrassed.
“Thank you for inviting Meli. I…I needed this. Now, what are you feeling like, *girlfriend*~” Sera smoldered, giggling a bit at the cheesy pick up line. Allison rolled her eyes.
“Come on, you have to admit, we do make a cute couple Allison. Plus…I’ve seen how Cain looks at you sometimes. Once he gets back…I think we can seal the deal. If you want to, that is,” Sera offered, taking a sip of her margarita.
“I…I’d like that.”
​
—
​
Missive from Alliance Special Intelligence Agent Bella Brus follows:
Ma’am the current operation in the Coastal Plains region of the state has borne much fruit. We have several junior agents working key Humans and Imperial officials, and my own operation still remains undetected. As of now, thirty Hyperion assets have been identified. All look Shil’vati on the surface but have tell-tale markers of blended genetics. Smaller tusks, more refined features, non-natural eye colors. You and the Council were correct, Hyperion is making strides never before seen. I will continue to work my current target; she seems especially pliable after an unrelated event. My plans and contingencies will be updated and sent to Command.
As a side note, my…partner has uncovered a dirty Interior agent. He has pried a decent amount of information from her through a combination of conventional and unexpected means. I am requesting permission to factor this angle into my current outlook.
-Agent Brus
​
​
—
MISSIVE FROM THE DIRECTOR OF PROJECT HYPERION FOLLOWS
HANDLER N’KET, YOUR PRESENCE IS BEING REQUESTED AT OUR FORWARD OPERATING BASE. GENERAL LANKET HAS FULL AUTHORIZATION TO CONDUCT OUR FINAL STRIKE ON GOVERNESS BOUDRA. HAVE YOUR GEAR PREPARED BY THIS FRIDAY.
MAY THE GODDESS BLESS US.
—

Even a leather aviator helmet with a chip strap moves a little while I move in bed. The wet clay eye mask with elastic band moves with the helmet.
Wet helmet or beanie used to mitigate RNM. Wet helmet slightly shields brain. Though sleeping with head inside of a basalt rock crate will mostly shield brain but not eyes. Therefore, sleep bare headed with an eye mask on inside of a basalt crate.
I looked for an eye mask that did not have an elastic band in the back. I also looked for an eye mask that has a longer mask that wrapped around my head so when I turn, the side of the mask can shield my eyes. I purchased two different masks. I am waiting for delivery.
A cotton mask.
https://www.amazon.com/100-Handmade-Cotton-Sleep-Blackout/dp/B07MT7N35ref=sxin_16_pa_sp_search_thematic_sspa?content-id=amzn1.sym.711b623b-fef6-4340-9590-f21d01371ab3%3Aamzn1.sym.711b623b-fef6-4340-9590-f21d01371ab3&crid=3QQVEY9KAY88A&cv_ct_cx=blind%2Bfolds%2Bfor%2Bsleep&keywords=blind%2Bfolds%2Bfor%2Bsleep&pd_rd_i=B07FSFBSXY&pd_rd_r=c9ddd934-2c29-4633-8b51-bdd734b79a9e&pd_rd_w=AAGo5&pd_rd_wg=EjNOL&pf_rd_p=711b623b-fef6-4340-9590-f21d01371ab3&pf_rd_r=98D8YVDSHZ8TMM1NT1T7&qid=1679162318&sbo=RZvfv%2F%2FHxDF%2BO5021pAnSA%3D%3D&sprefix=blind%2Bfold%2Caps%2C115&sr=1-3-2b34d040-5c83-4b7f-ba01-15975dfb8828-spons&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExSjdBVEVQWElBRjhUJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNTA0MDY1MUdYSDc0NERWTzkxMiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMTkxNDA5VEVEMTNGVUVYNU9UJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3Bfc2VhcmNoX3RoZW1hdGljJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ&th=1
Being cotton, the mask will retain water. I will wet the mask in a pail of water before putting it on.
A dry clay bead mask shields less than wet clay but may be adequate:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08DL1N13Z/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Hiya people, I plan to move and cut all contact by the beginning of next year.
That feels so far away right now and I’ve been reflecting on why I made the final decision even after realising I was experience of abuse quite young (11ish) that “no family” was still better than mine (PA, CSA, EA neglect) in the first place. If it’s safe and comfortable I’d love to know yours!
I guess I’ll start.
—————— ————— ————— For as long as I’ve been around I’ve wanted to have kids and not just in a passive way; I own parenting and marriage books, I’ve watched hundreds of birth and delivery story’s I keep up with parenting trends, I’ve learned to cook, clean, mend, financial plan, prioritised recovery from abuse, understanding cycle breaking and familial trauma, I’ve got a bare bones understanding of the foster care and adoption system in my country, the stages of child development, I know how much ivf costs and the processes, I’ve looked into being a single mother by choice and by circumstance, I’ve looked into miscarriage early and late term, even stillbirth. I'm have been like this since I was maybe 13 even though I knew I wouldn’t want to let a child into my life before 30-32.
I’m 22 now and even after being parentified, the number of children varied but at least one was always my answer when asked about children - until it wasn’t. When I turned 18 I started saying that I would never have children - even though I was still preparing myself to have them. I even went as far as looking into getting my tubes surgically removed.
At the time I had bigger fish to fry (PTSD and a physical disability with my nightmare of a family and no prospects for my future) and so I didn’t really think about it - until November of 2022.
It’s gonna sound stupid but bear with me, I had a dream that I was meeting a child of about five, a little girl who was honestly one of the most adorable kids I’ve ever seen. A man in business attire had her hiding behind his leg and so I assumed that this was my first time meeting a child to potentially foster and adopt. The second I saw her I somehow knew her name I heard myself say “I will never let anyone hurt you if it kills me” in a voice I so certain and authoritative it surprised me. It was like some insane maternal drive had taken over and I was sure that I would never even let my parents know she existed. Me and “Anna” were gonna run to the ends of the earth before I let my parents treat her even a tenth of a percent the way they treated me.
When I woke up and thought about it, I understood I was letting my parents rob me of one of my most consistent and valued dreams for my life. All because I was afraid that any boundaries I set with them would be steamrolled and mocked - and so the only safe decision left for me and any child would be to never have one.
After that dream it was like something broke, I was no longer thinking and prioritising my family of origin and starting to prioritise the family of my own making. It was like I got a glimpse into the future and I could finally think about deciding to part ways as an essential part of creating a safe and healthy home for another child, who potentially could have been abused before meeting me. By December I had come to terms with the fact it was a necessary decision, by February there was a plan and a nc letter. It’s March and almost all of the sting has gone out of the decision. It’s not just for her now it’s for me and creating a world where I can set boundaries that are respected by the people in my life, where no abuser is safe to make my world more painful or less colourful.

Green Hall
Being alone in a small crowd of people, watching the astonishing view that would be right infront of her. Having her hair in a Garden Tail style a white regular dress with a light blue cloack. Receiving kind comments while also being spoken about behind her back, she kept a positive gesture and simply replied with a side eye.
​
Not being accompanied by Ser Colin nor her loyal servant Arys Kidwell. She hasn't felt a moment of peace for the past days only being busy writting letters and keeping her kin on her positive side. She wondered if the queen had received her crow of it it was shot down, could care less of course shrugging it off. Busy in her thoughts a little ginger boy pulled her cloak. A bit startled she turned around seeing a short 7 year old boy wave at her.
​
At first she was creeped out but in a short moment of time stretched out a hand to shake his hand. "Hello lit-" quickly a old lady who seemed to be his caretaker dragged him by his hand while looking with disgrace at her. "Tommen, what have i told you about talking to people from the other line." Looking over her shoulder, Lucia quickly got up sweating a bit going back to enjoy the view.
​
It was not the first and certainly not the last time someone mentioned of her line not being "pure".

Preface
I did a detailed writeup on my very first concert experience last year which was seeing Dreamcatcher's Apocalypse: Save Us concert in Reading and I got a positive response so I wanted to do it again for this concert. Hopefully this will help future Insomnia going to their first Dreamcatcher concert that are anxious about what to expect. Writing all this down is also a nice way for me to look back on the experience in the future. This is gonna' be another long read, don't think I can just TL;DR it so feel free to skip around to specific sections if you like. If you want to check out my previous concert writeup you can find it here:
https://www.reddit.com/dreamcatchecomments/vpzmqo/20220701_santander_arena_concert_in_reading_pa_my/
Ticketmaster
FUCK TICKETMASTER, ALL MY HOMIES HATE TICKETMASTER
I don't think there is too much to say here, Ticketmaster is already garbage about scalping bots and they continue to show their incompetence with this fuck up. It caused myself a good amount of anxiety like everyone else. I decided to wait till the day of the concert to see if they'd send the extra email with my printable ticket. Well that never happened, so I was debating calling Ticketmaster or just risk trying to pick them up at Will Call. That's when I saw people suggesting to make a separate new Ticketmaster account to transfer my tickets to. Lo and behold, it worked! Seriously, shout out to those suggesting that and whoever figured it out, real life saver! The only silver lining was that my seating got bumped all the way up front (third row specifically) smack dab in the center. So I can't complain too much but it sucks to everyone that got bumped out to much worse seating.
Concert Prep
Since attending the last Dreamcatcher concert in July, which was my very first ever concert experience, I've since seen Kard in Atlanta and Pixy, AleXa, and Rolling Quartz at Otakon in D.C. Not a veteran by any means but I've got a bit more experience going now. I work night shifts during the week so my sleep schedule is usually trash trying to readjust to days over the weekend. I woke up on the day of the concert at 3am and began doing some prep work. Charging my lightstick and battery brick (for charging phones), getting my ticket sorted, checking where I want to park once I get there, etc. I bought some equipment to attach my phone to mongmonie so I can record parts of the concert while keeping another hand free if needed. My original plan was to use all my lightstick extensions and use it as a sort of monopod setup for recording the whole concert. A few things made me change my mind, the first was that I couldn't find a clear answer on if extensions would be allowed at the concert, then there was the fact that my seat got changed and I felt like I'd be blocking people's view with it (plus I'd have to break it down every time we had to sit). It would've been a more ideal setup in a PIT area in the corner where I wouldn't be blocking people. I had planned on using a completely separate phone to record the whole concert so I cleared up a bunch of memory on it, but in the process managed to brick my phone 😒. So I had to resort to using my primary phone. Anyway, I felt like I somehow spent 10hrs. doing concert prep, not sure how lol. It was time to finally head out. It's only an hour and a half drive for me, think I left the house around 2:30ish in the afternoon.
Arrival in Reading
I arrived in Reading around 4pm. Reading Parking Authority recently switched to gateless parking which I've never used before. I downloaded the ParkMobile app before I left. When I got there it only let me pay for a 30min. increment on the app, so I used that time to get a bite to eat since I hadn't eaten anything all morning. Once I got back to the parking garage I noticed the little kiosk where you can pay for the full day, so that's what I did. After that I walked down the street to the venue so I could grab my VVIP bracelet which only took less than 5 minutes since there wasn't a huge line for it at the time. I wanted to chill in the short line forming outside the venue and chat up some Insomnia but decided I should probably go back to my car and get some rest since I had been up since 3am (shoutout to the Insomnia with the same Seven Spirits hoodie that I had who said hi to me on the way back though). After getting a bit of rest I went to go line up at the venue, the weather was a really nice mild day (55℉/13℃) with thankfully no rain like last time! There were so many nice Insomnia handing out banners and freebies in line. One was handing photocards/polaroids and asked me my bias, said I couldn't choose so just give me a random one, when I opened it up it was a choccy milk Gahyeon polaroid! Even if it wasn't official I got so hyped seeing that, haha. Someone else was handing out some cute DC anime stickers, this time I specifically chose Dami since there were only two of those left (person behind me snatched the last one). I signed the Dreamcatcher Reason flag while in line, it's super unfortunate they couldn't end up giving it to the girls! The line started moving around 6pm and moved pretty quickly, I was in the doors past security by 6:15pm.
Santander Performing Arts Center Venue review
I grabbed a Blue Moon and waited in the merch line. This venue was pretty small so they only had one spot to setup the merch table. The line was super long and wrapped around the entire venue starting on the first floor and leading up to the merch table on the second floor. The line moved at a decent pace considering how much it zig-zag'd around the place, shout out to the staff that were straight up sprinting around the line making sure to keep it orderly and moving it around so people didn't have problems accessing the rest of the venue. I got my merch by 7pmish so I waited in line for maybe 40min. There isn't too much to say about the venue itself, you can pretty much see the whole lobby in that pic I posted while waiting in line. There were easy to find bathrooms on a level lower than the ground floor, there were big signs to point you in the direction of each seating section and staff were great about helping people find there correct seats. For some reason the staff here felt even more proactive with helping everyone than the Santander Arena (though everyone there was also very friendly and helpful). I got seated at 7:05pm and the first thing I noticed was how cramped the seating was. Sitting down my shoulders were touching the shoulders of the people sitting to both sides of me, I feel like plane seating didn't feel as cramped. Once I got seated, the Insomnia next to me noticed my camera setup to record the concert and we had a nice conversation about photography and the gear we each use. Also talked about the messed up ticket situation with the venue change. One of my goals was to talk to more Insomnia this time around so thank you to the dude that chatted me up as I'm terrible at starting conversations myself but once I'm in it I could talk forever, haha.
The Concert
Once again, I noticed everyone's fits being on point at the concert. So many people with cool outfits, custom clothes, some people were wearing outfits that matched certain Dreamcatcher stage outfits, etc. Shout out to the bunny costume guy hyping everyone up before the concert! One thing I might've messed up on was footwear, whenever standing and jumping I could feel my feet killing me. I'm used to standing all day at work in these shoes, so I think it was the jumping up and down that really did it for me, not as comfortable as the UltraBoosts I wore last concert. Anyway, it was easy enough to ignore since the concert was so awesome! I was practically front row, which I never thought I'd get a chance to do. I'm really short for a guy, so I always worried about not getting a good enough spot in the PIT to see over people. Most people in front of me were taller than me but it wasn't a huge issue for the most part. The members entered and the hype begun, seriously never thought I'd get to be this close to them! One of my slight complaints from the last concert was that I am a bit nearsighted and it was hard to make out the members faces from where I was seated (although I know them well enough to pick them out on their gait alone). Now it was like seeing them in glorious 8k, and they all looked gorgeous! The setlist was so good, finally #justiceforWHAT! Plus getting to see the 'YOU AND I' choreo complete with props and Dami's awesome staff spinning! Everyone sounded so good and I was surprised that the acoustics sounded really good in such a small place not really designed for the type of music being played. Even during the songs with choreo you could here each member through the backing track at least a few times here and there. Like last time, the members I noticed really punching through the backing track the most were Siyeon and Dami. You can tell Dami goes all in on her raps at these concerts, to the point of bending over like 70° in order to really belt them out with as much power as possible. Also, OH MY GOD 'Reason' went as hard as I hoped it would live. They are pushing their vocals so hard during that song and the "woah" chanting parts get everyone so hyped. It was a fantastic idea to have the encore be all three fan songs. Celebrating Dami's birthday was so fun! Sua announcing herself as Dami's B-day present and her just ignoring it was hilarious, also Sua giving Dami the rights to being the Queen™ of Dreamcatcher while celebrating her birthday had me dying. I don't remember what song it happened during but at one point I'm pretty sure Yoohyeon's timing was off in one of the choreos and she completely bumped into another member (think it might have been Gahyeon but I don't recall) it was really cute as she quickly brushed it off with a smile. I thought I had recorded this part but can't find it so now I'm gonna' have to check other fancams to make sure I'm not going crazy, lol. During the last goodbye talks, Gahyeon cried saying she wasn't feeling well and hoped that it didn't show in her performing (it didn't, she did great!) and other members were tearing up too. It honestly feels so heartwarming as a fan getting to see Dreamcatcher's sincerity in their faces and words up close and personal, I'm surprised I didn't cry myself. Jiu especially goes the extra mile with her genuine facial expressions that show gratitude on the deepest levels. Another thing I loved about Jiu was her crowd control abilities, especially when it came to getting everybody to wave their lightsticks in synchronicity. Speaking of the crowd, I was pretty disappointed by the shrieking banshees that yelled over the members when they were talking. It's honestly super rude and makes the fandom look bad, it sucks that there isn't much you can do about it but to try and tell people near you to be quiet. You could see Dami was visibly annoyed by it and continued to make a shushing gesture at the crowd while pointing at the member currently talking. It doesn't help that the members also enabled the behavior by responding to a few people yelling things to them so that lead to others trying to grab their attention, it seriously got out of hand. Other than that slightly souring the experience, I still had a wonderful time. I will end this section by mentioning the only member I have yet to talk about here and I will will simply leave it with this; Handong's orange hair omfg?! 👨🏼‍🍳💋
Meet & Greet, Hi-Touch + Group Photo
After the concert ended, everyone started to line up for the VIP and VVIP M&G event. They lined up the VIP first since they were just doing the hi-touch. The VVIP participants were all seated and wherever you sat was basically the order they were going to have you go in with each row of seats being a section for the group photos, this way anyone in groups that wanted to stick together for it could figure out their order beforehand. Staff was great at giving everyone instructions and getting everything in order as fast as possible. I was so exhausted after the concert with running on little sleep that I just about snoozed off while sitting and waiting my turn. A weird thing I noticed was that I was seated towards the back of the venue and the seating seemed to be spaced out a bit better than where I sat for the concert. Anyway, it was my sections turn for the hi-touch. I kind of knew it was going to go by too fast to even get out anything meaningful so I tried to to be anxious about what I was going to say. The line moved so fast that when I got to the members I barely got to say "hi [member's name]!" in fact I remember getting to Sua and I think Siyeon was right before her and I called her Shua by accident cuz' I was trying to nail saying She-yeon previously, I felt so stupid but it is what it is, I'm laughing at it now looking back on it 😂. I also remember Jiu was first in line and I realized I gave her a pretty hard high five and ended up toning it down with each member till I got to Dami last and barely touched her hand. It was over as fast as it started, it went exactly how I thought it would but still left me a little disappointed. That was made up for with the group photo. As I waited back in line for the group photo, and was slowly approaching the line seemed to stop for a bit longer than it was before. It seemed that there was a group way ahead that didn't want to be separated for the group photo so they were looking for a single person to fill in the last spot. I stepped up and volunteered so we could get the line moving again. The staff were appreciative since they were on a time crunch, the people in line were happy to not get separated, and I got to skip like 30 people so win-win for everyone. That wasn't the best part though. Since the members were also waiting for a minute or two they all had their direction focused on the last person waiting to come up the stairs and that was me! Jiu gave me a very warm and cheery "hi!" as she was closest and was who I was going to sit in front of, needless to say my heart melted and I gave her an equally ecstatic "hello!" right back. I was going to ask her to do like a heart or something with me but since they were waiting I didn't want to hold them up any longer and decided to just quickly get seated so they could take the photos. Photo only took a sec and they we got up to let the next group in. I was the last person in line so I kinda' got selfish and took my time saying a few things to the members as we left. I got to look each one in the eyes and tell them what a great performance they put on, how cool they are, etc. Also told Gahyeon to feel better, and Dami was last so I got to personally wish her a happy birthday as well! Honestly made the VVIP package super worth it. I grabbed my VVIP merch on the way out and left the venue feeling great. The temperature had dropped quite a bit but it honestly felt really nice having the cool air hit my face after being packed like sardines for over 2hrs. I don't remember what time everything ended exactly but I headed back to my car by around 10:30pm. The drive back was a bit stressful as I was exhausted and we had a freak blizzard come out of nowhere. I didn't see anything about snow on the weather forecast for the day so I was surprised, but it was manageable for me since I live in the area and drive an AWD Forester with winter tires.
Final Thoughts
I got so busy with work, then my router shit the bed, then the great Reddit outage happened, then was busy at work again. I've been meaning to post this much sooner, it's crazy that it's already been two weeks since the concert. I surprisingly didn't get the usual post-concert depression this time, I think it was because this concert felt waaaay shorter to me for some reason. I kind of equate it to the feeling you get after watching a movie for the second time, you know what to expect and what scenes are coming next so the movie feels much shorter on the second watch-through. Everything straight up just felt like a 5min. dream to me it went by so fast. So it's a little sad in that sense but I still felt a feeling of fulfillment overall. Also, I thankfully didn't catch COVID this time so pretty happy about that .I should mention that masks were encouraged but not required, even for hi-touch/group photos. I wore mine all concert and for the hi-touch, but took it off for the group photo so I could see my face in the pic. I talked about my seating position off to the side giving me this weird feeling of disconnect from the performances last time, and this time felt much better as I was front and center and got to make lots of eye contact with the members the whole concert. I have no real regrets this time around, but my goals for my next concert are to talk to even more people and I kind of want to do something to give back to the community like the kind Insomnia that hand out cool freebies at the concerts. Not sure what I'm going to come up with yet but can't wait to get the creative juices flowing. Also, since I talked about photography with the Insomnia sitting next to me, it got me thinking about getting a press pass to shoot a Dreamcatcher concert in the future. I don't know how difficult that would be as an amateur with no real professional portfolio to speak of but it would be amazing if possible! I have to head off to work now, I'll probably fix some formatting to make this more readable and add other tidbits I forgot to add once I get off work.
Thank you to Dreamcatcher, DCC staff, Santander Staff, and all the wonderful Insomnia for another great and memorable experience!!

So, im close to 4 months in after egg cracking and been trying hard at figuring out clothing but its been really difficult for me to figure out. Im amab, 193cm and weigh currently 156kgs and on weightloss (so far down 16kgs since i started in decembwr 2022)
My issue is that i want to get feminine clothes, but not too feminine as i fear id just feel like a man in a dress instead of a woman, and would rather start small, ie pants.
So i thought leggings, and tight womens denim pants (with stretch). The issue with this is that almost all plus size pants arent tall, as i need 80cm+ inner leg length, and then the hips to waist ratio being all wrong with a male physique in womens clothes when you have a large gut and plus size pants are high waisted most of the time as far ive found.
I shop in eu stores only, buying anything outside of eu is much to expensive. And i also prefer shopping online to avoid going into stores, even though ive already done that once.
Easy answer is i guess lose more weight but i also want to start my transition journey with clothe.
Sorry if all this sounded like a rant, but im honestly just confused how to navigate gwtting clothes when the starting point seems impossible.
Underwear has been more or less the same experience but just for the hip to waist ratio in size not fitting either or.

The saga is ongoing. Lots of updates. Lots of flowery language. Cheerleading.
I'll post the 32 OP posts in comments so save you all going through the whole thread if you're not MN members. Eta - couldn't add as a comment so here's the longest post ever.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4756410-he-has-run-off-with-the-kids-advice-needed-and-handhold
The saga is ongoing.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4756410-he-has-run-off-with-the-kids-advice-needed-and-handhold
He has run off with the kids, advice needed and handhold 32 replies Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 09:30
Posting for traffic. Apologies, its long.
Some might remember my previous threads. Basically I separated from my controlling ex in February. Things moved really quickly. And I managed to find a house. I moved out on Thursday. Instead of taking the kids out whilst I moved to make it less distressing for them which we had previously agreed, he stayed and made me take all my stuff out in front of them, and put it into the front garden. My friend and her children came over to help load her car up with my stuff. As awful as it was I stayed strong for the kids, they were excited about the new house, their new bedrooms and where choosing which toys to bring as well as playing with their friends in the front garden. Once my stuff was out (not much, he refused i take any furniture), he demanded my keys back, demanded the kids go inside, and literally pulled my 4 year old away from me, she was screaming and crying. He slammed the door in my face and shut the curtains. In hindsight I should have called the police then, believe me I realise that now. However i was trying to cause as least stress as possible. Due to previous advice on here I have recorded him on multiple occasions. I recorded the children Thursday morning whilst they were playing whilst I was moving my stuff out. You can see my stuff in the front garden and the kids happy and playing. When he took my daughter off me and put the other two inside and slammed the door on me, I started recording then too. You can clearly see and hear my daughter screaming behind the door , (part frosted glass door) and him pulling her as she's holding onto the front door handle from the inside. You can also hear him say you will see mummy tomorrow. Him and I had agreed that they would come to my new house on Friday morning whilst he goes to work. He has been using my past mental health against me, (see previous threads, I will try to link,) since I told him I wanted to separate, he wanted me to provide him a letter from a medical professional saying im sane 🙄. My cpn is dicharging me next week, so he will have that on paper - i know i dont have to do that but I will send him a copy because i have nothing to hide. On Thursday afternoon he phones me asking when will I be giving him half the child benefit. I tell him I am arranging mediation and we can discuss it there as he keeps ranting at me down the phone. So, Friday morning comes around. I message to double check what time he is dropping them over. I get back one message saying the kids are safe, I'm not taking any calls. He then ignores my texts and calls. I got round to his house and the car is gone, the curtains are drawn. He has done a runner with the kids! I phoned police and social services. As we have only just separated there is no child arrangements order in place. I'm absoloutely heartbroken. I've never known pain like it. They are 1, 4 and 6. They spend the majority of the time with me. Nearly 4 years ago he built and insulated a shed in the bottom of the garden. He has slept out there 99% of the time since. Leaving me to do all night time childcare since then. The girls who are 4 and 6 sleep in the bedroom next to me, the 4 year old wakes almost every night and comes and spends the rest of the night with me. My one year old has been in my bed since birth, what must my poor babies be thinking? He also works part time where I have the children on my own. The 4 and 6 year old are homeschooled. I take them to all activities and clubs and play dates etc. I know this is 100% about control, that he is using the children to try to break me so that his "she's an unstable mother" claims come true. I am 100% confident in my ability to parent my children. I am 100% confident that there is no issue with me, infact I've never felt stronger, my mh has never been better. That's why I knew I had to leave, because I knew I could be a strong single mother to my beautiful babies and I didn't want them witnessing his toxic behaviour any more. I will not have my children growing up thinking his behaviour is acceptable. I have a solicitors appointment Monday morning at 9am. All services have been informed, mediation is booked for 2 weeks time. I have phoned the police 4 times since Friday, who advise its a civil matter. I have spoken to social services who have said I'm doing everything right and have contacted every one I need to. I have even contacted universal credit. I believe part of the reason he has taken the children is because he won't receive the child element of universal credit anymore. He has Been begging for half the child benefit which thankfully is in my name. I was receiving pip due to my previous mental health issues, and he claimed carers element in universal credit. Obviously now I've moved out, and said he isn't my carer since we split, he doesn't get that anymore. He was only having to work part time because of this, despite claiming to be my carer, I was doing the vast majority of child care and household chores, whilst he slept in the shed so his sleep wasn't disturbed.
I have never felt pain like this. Being away from my children and wondering what they must be thinking, why they aren't seeing me, what he's filled their heads with is breaking my heart. I know and I will be strong and get through this short time until the courts decide on child arrangements. I'm also realistic about the fact that he could keep them until that date, in which case it could be at least a month before I see them again. Even when I had pnd 4 years ago, I went to a mbu with my daughter, they knew it was imperative that she be with me. I did end up being sectioned but my medication was adjusted and I made a rapid recovery. I was allowed to leave early from the section and even then all my children were allowed to visit me in the family room next to the unit as everyone knew how important it was they and I have regular contact. I was never a danger to my children, I just felt that I wasn't good enough to be their mother. However I've worked hard on myself, I am fully recovered. I engaged in all therapy, took the medication properly and came off it under their advice. I look after myself because I know that to be a good mother to my kids I need to be good to myself. I since have had my 1 year old and there's been no issues at all. Infact as 'my carer' he never once phoned any services or teams on me with any concerns regarding my mental health in an extremely long time, years, So there is also evidence of this.
I have my furniture being delivered today, the girls Bunk beds and sofa, tables etc. I will make this house a special and safe home for my babies, where they feel respected and loved.
I'm sorry for the huge post. Please if anyone has any more advice on what I can do, Or any questions for the solicitor appointment tomorrow I would so appreciate it. I need all the support and advice I can get. Thankyou
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Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 10:52
NEmama · 05/03/2023 09:46
Stay strong. Are his family involved? Would ex mil speak to him . Awful situation for you op x
Nope, no one is answering or responding. I have absoloutely no idea where they have gone. My guess is he's spoken to a solicitor and they've told him he is legally with in his rights to take the kids as he has parental responsibility and there is no court order in place
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 14:48
Dartsplayer · 05/03/2023 14:43
Unfortunately, having gone through the same thing with a family member, this is correct and there is nothing the police can do.
@Iamworthit you need to download a C100 form and submit it to your local family Court for an emergency hearing to have the children returned to your care as soon as possible. This group were invaluable in guiding us through the process from the children being taken to getting a Child Arrangement Order in place. You sound like you are doing everything right
www.facebook.com/groups/488124058749486/?ref=share
Show quote history I have my solicitor appt Tomorrow. Will she do that?
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:08
CalamityClam · 05/03/2023 10:19
Hold tight. My ex did the same thing. I had to leave without them. The DCs were safe with him even though I knew he was an absolute controlling TWAT - I knew they’d be upset, but I knew they’d be safe. I did everything you’re doing, determined to have it sorted legally so he couldn’t do it again, even if it meant waiting to see them. Believe me, the novelty will soon wear off for him when he realises he’s stuck with the kids and you’re as free as a bird.
It resolved for me quite quickly- within a couple of weeks. We shared care going forward. The DCs are adults now and have a very distant relationship with their dad.
So reassuring to speak to someone who has been through this and there was a positive outcome. I haven't spoken to them at all or seen them since Thursday morning, this is the longest its been. I'm assuming he has gone to his parents over an hour away. The police managed to get hold of him today and will be doing a welfare check tonight or tomorrow. They can't give me his wareabouts. Im terrified my kids are going to forget me, especially the one year old, other than a handful of nights where he agreed to have him for a night or 2 whilst I visited friends/ family, he's always been with me. And what if he turns them against me. I'm so scared they will think I've abandoned them and hate me or forget me. It could be weeks before a court hearing. Can a 1 year old Remember that long. I don't know.
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:23
Sunriseinwonderland · 05/03/2023 11:27
Take a deep breath and step back OP. My ex pulled this stunt more than once and the judge awarded me full custody and him none because DS was so traumatised by him. It took a while but it was ok. Well done for recording it. Your solicitor will advise you.
How long did he keep your son away from you for? I'm so scared they will forget me x
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Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:29
macncheeeesey · 05/03/2023 12:34
He's trying to punish you and unfortunately you have to abide by the system.
He will likely realise how hard it is very soon and won't be able to keep up with the homeschooling and caring for three little ones - especially as you say he sleeps in a shed normally.
Use this time to make the house a home for them. You can apply for an emergency family hearing - I'm sure your solicitor has advised on that.
He's an evil man who is damaging your kids but he won't be able to keep them. You've done everything you need to and informed the right people.
Try to distract yourself and use this time to work on your plan of attack to get them back and get yourself right.
My ex took our DD and wouldn't give her back but did eventually. Police wouldn't get involved after they did one welfare check. I would call them and ask them to do a check and say he is mentally unstable and you're worried about the kids. This will be logged and hopefully will scare him a bit.
I know the feeling, my DD wanted to come back but ex wouldn't let her. When she did some back she was super clingy. She knew what her dad did was wrong.
You've got this and you'll get them back.
I'm sorry you went through this too. How old was your daughter when he did that? How long was she away from you for. I'm scared they will hate me, god knows what he's telling them about why they can't see me
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:33
liveforsummer · 05/03/2023 12:47
Presumably he was taking care of them while she was sectioned so whilst he may not look after them when she’s gone he clearly can.
He looked after 1 dc then, not 3. He has become increasingly abusive since then
No, he went to work when I was in the mother and baby unit with my 2nd daughter. My mum and mil took it in turns to look after our eldest and he would look after her when not at work. Even when i went away for a couple of kights for my friends wedding my mum came to help him look after the kids
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:40
Springchicken75 · 05/03/2023 19:36
Op I would also strongly advise you to contact women’s aid after your appointment with the solicitor, they will offer some much needed support and advice.
www.womensaid.org.uk I did this a few weeks ago and I just got an email back with endless other support agencies, solicitors to call.
Go to post Iamworthit · 05/03/2023 23:45
OhmygodDont · 05/03/2023 20:00
Snatches children like some mad man on the street. Or a father having his children for the weekend or maybe even being the resident parent.
With this whole women and men are equal they are aLeo equal parents 🥱. He text saying they were safe and he would not be taking her calls. Police have been called 4! Times and don’t seem to think there is any issue. Op willingly left them on the Thursday.
Im sure op will hear find out more Monday morning but nothing makes her the better or more superior parent in the eyes of the law currently.
The police got back to me today. They are doing a welfare check tonight or tomorrow. I didn't Willingly leave them on Thursday. I left them heartbroken, not wanting to cause any more distress and with a stupid idea he would do the right thing and give them to me the next day as planned.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 05:16
Sami561 · 05/03/2023 20:22
I am so sorry you are going through this OP. The pain is like nothing else.
I have been in the same position as you and, unfortunately, as you have probably found, The Police have no powers if the father has parental rights. They say it is a civil matters for the courts.
All I can say is that this will massively go against him in family court proceedings- it did for my estranged husband. He was banned from having our child overnight for a considerable amount of time until he could prove he was trustworthy again. The courts and professionals also named that he was using our child as a emotional weapon towards me by doing this. Your husband will be viewed in exactly the same way by all involved. He isn't thinking about the children at all, he is thinking about himself and getting one over on you.
Brilliant that you have a solicitors appointment tomorrow, they will give you the advice you need.
Stay strong and get that child arrangements order in place💐
I really hope they do the same. I'm sorry you had to go through this too. It so incredibly cruel and unfair to the children.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 05:46
Kinneddar · 05/03/2023 21:49
Probably because it doesn't meet the criteria. The children are with their Dad, there's nothing to suggest they're at risk. Just because their Mum doesn't know where they are doesn't mean there's anything wrong.
The other thing is the police will look at the history of the family in assessing things. They've been called out before because the OP was threatening self harm. She's still currently under a MH section & despite being told its not a Police matter has phoned numerous times today. Regardless of what anyone here thinks they'll make the assessment based on the information they have, which from the sounds of it possibly doesn't look great for the OP. AND the other thing is, we only know OPs version of events. I'm not saying they're not accurate but we have absolutely no way of knowing
Police don't do a welfare check just because someone wants them to, there has to be grounds.
If for instance they don't turn up at school tomorrow that would have things reassessed.
Even if officers did go out to the house tonight & noone was home they're not going to turn it into a misper enquiry at this stage.
Show quote history The police were never phoned with regards to my mental health. I always went through the proper channels with the perinatal team. Yes I did have the crisis team involved but that was 4 YEARS AGO. I was in a mother and baby unit and the medication they gave me to treat it was to low a dose. I was always with my daughter at the mbu. I got sectioned 4 years ago, and once there, my dd went back to the family home with her dad. My mum and mil also took it turns to stay with them for extra support. My section was supposed to last 28 days. I was released at day 14 due responding so well to the medication. I had been observed with my children by the nurses and Dr's theres (yes I still got to see my kids, and kept breastfeeding her and pumping the whole time) even during that period I have never been away from the kids for this long. Everyone in my care knew I was a brilliant mother, I have documents from being there. I struggling with pnd, and never a harm to my children. We were very much bonded, I just felt absolutely not good enough to be their mother. I have engaged with services at every single point along the way. I since had another baby - the one year old, and I was put under the perinatal mental health team again for precaution, but due to me doing really well during that pregnancy my contact with them was very little and the discharged me a year after birth with a plan to come off my medication, which I have done. Even after all this I'm still strong because I know I have to be there for my kids when I do get them back they will need me more than ever. Yes he was claiming carers allowance. However he hasn't phoned any mental health team in years with any concerns about me. He is trying to gaslight me to say that he has concerns, well than why as he only just raised concerns since I told him I was leaving ? Thankfully this is all fact and documented. My cpn has been phoned by my ex regularly since for the last few weeks since I said I'm leaving. My cpn has received calls from my ex and his family claiming I needed a welfare check. I arranged for my cpn to see me, who agreed that I'm fit and well and will be discharged this week. My cpn told me he said to the mil that they are all wasting his time and to stop calling him. My cpn visited me on Friday when I phoned him to say my ex had taken the children, he came over straight away, and is still satisfied I can be discharged. I've had a traumatic childhood, pnd was almost inevitable I've been told, however I have worked bloody hard on myself and am a credit to my children. Any one else reading this thread in the future who has to go through similar, please do not let posters like this wear you down. I have had PREVIOUS mental health issues. My mental health now is better than its ever been.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 08:55
Thankyou. Omg 8 months your poor baby
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 10:28
UPDATE solicitor was great. She will apply for an urgent hearing today. Expensive, but my mum will pay this initial fee. Hopefully be seen by the court today 🙏 With a predicted respond date by Friday from him. I don't know when this means I will get them back, but at least the ball is rolling She will also put in a Prohibited Steps Order to stop him from changing their gp, Registering them for school, or taking them abroad.
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 10:38
SchoolTripDrama · 06/03/2023 10:36
Fantastic news, I'm pleased for you.
Also, him doing this, will MASSIVELY negatively affect his chances of getting access in the future, via legal routes. Judges look extremely dimly on parents who pull this stunt
Show quote history Thankyou. I hope this can be resolved ASAP. I think she said she's going to request an urgent live with order too
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 13:46
mucky123 · 06/03/2023 13:33
I have no actual knowledge of the Court system in these circumstances or anything helpful to say but I just wanted you to know that I have read the whole thread and I think you are incredibly brave and strong. I think lots of people would have crumpled at this and maybe gone back to him or just broken down. Well done, keep fighting, hope it is all over soon.
Thankyou. Don't get me wrong I've sobbed huge tears of grief this weekend and been full of panic and worry, one thing I will not do is let him break me. My kids need the best version of me right now, and so that's my focus x
Go to post Iamworthit · 06/03/2023 19:25
Another update Not so great. He also did a Prohibited Steps Order. So the judge received them both today. They decided to see us together but the quickest available date is on the 21st of March! I've seen a copy of his order and requests. He wants me to admit I'm unstable. He wants confirmation from mh professionals I'm OK. It looks like he says I can have Supervised contact and calls. So obviously yes I'll take anything I can get, but need solicitor to confirm this. Also made allegations about how "unstable" I am. That I'm a suicide risk, that I've done x,y,z... BUT there's no record of him phoning my gp or cpn or anything, so hopefully that can quash that! He also keeps phoning my cpn telling him he is going for custody or he is giving me the order, or he is hiding away with the kids... So obvious he wants me to crack in front of the cpn. With regards to my cpn he is telling me he is putting my case to the team for discharge tomorrow, there is a chance they won't agree, and with the luck I'm having atm I'm beginning to think that they are going to say they won't discharge me.
Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate everything you ladies have said. I will update tomorrow with any news.
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:30
Nope not since Thursday morning
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:46
Scalessayeek · 06/03/2023 22:00
OP I can’t believe how some people are trying to bring you down. I would have completely fallen apart in your situation. You just need someone to see your posts on here to see how centered you are at the moment.
Sending you all the strength and luck in the world!
Thankyou. My kids have never needed more. All his behaviour is doing now is showing me just how controlling he is, and that getting out of that relationship is the best thing for me and the kids long term.
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:48
P3N · 06/03/2023 19:42
Stay strong OP. You are doing amazing. Have the police got back about the welfare check? Your ex is disgusting trying to use your MH against you.
Yes. They saw the children and reported they aren't in harms way.
Go to post Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:54
Iamworthit · 07/03/2023 06:48
Yes. They saw the children and reported they aren't in harms way.
Show quote history Physical harm that Is. I said I'm guessing they are at the grandparents then and his expression told me everything I needed to know. At least they know them. Although they are nearly 80.
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 15:57
Whiskeypowers · 08/03/2023 15:47
Hope you are holding up ok @Iamworthit
have you had any updates from the police or your solicitor etc?
No more information from police. He came back last night to his house, was there this morning amd gone this afternoon. I was notified by my friend who lives close by. No idea if the kids are with him. Waiting to hear if I can have Supervised visits before court hearing on 21st. Tonight will be night 7..
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 22:08
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 08/03/2023 19:19
Just for my own understanding, why do you need supervised visits?
Show quote history I don't. He is claiming I'm mentally unstable and a flight risk because he's a controlling, pathetic excuse of a man. He vanished with the kids and put an application for a Prohibited Steps Order that I can't have the children back until he sees a letter from a medical professional to state otherwise.
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 22:10
MaireadMcSweeney · 08/03/2023 19:54
Honestly I would probably do this too, but I don't know how that would impact on the court hearing. Remember now the process has started you can't just pull out and cancel it.
Show quote history This. I can't do anything because it's with solicitors, police and social services.
Go to post Iamworthit · 08/03/2023 22:33
Hi ladies. My cpn came over today. He isn't going to discharge me for another few weeks. This is positive, because it means he can tell the courts/judge that he is having the most recent interactions with me and there for can give an honest and open account of how I am. He phoned My solicitor personally and she agreed this would help my case. He has written a letter for this interim period to say he has no concerns. My solicitor believes if he with holds supervised visits before the court date he will be doing himself no favours at all. My cpn also told me that in his notes he has written that in his professional opinion my ex is mentally unstable (he has been pestering my cpn every few days for the past few weeks, since I told him I wanted to leave, however not once in over 3 years before I wanted to split was he concerned). Also that he is bring coercive, he is controlling, and the fact he sleeps in a shed 🤣🤣!! My cpn has Been brilliant throughout this whole thing. It's a case of playing the long game at the moment, I can't do anything to jeopardise seeing my kids. This is night 7. I last saw them a week ago tomorrow at around 11. I will not let him break me. He is using every tactic he can think of.
Go to post Iamworthit · 09/03/2023 11:33
cpphelp · 09/03/2023 08:03
The update about your CPN is fantastic. You are doing everything right. I think you're amazing, and all of this will be working in your favour. Maybe once all of this is over, they will insist on supervised visits only for him! How's the house coming along? Charity shops and the British heart foundation furniture shops are great for filling up a house xx
Thankyou. Yes my cpn has been great! Every second that goes by is another second without seeing my children, but it's also one second closer to getting them back in My arms.
Today marks a whole week since I last saw, held, played with, cuddled or even talked to my beautiful babies.
Go to post Iamworthit · 13/03/2023 20:34
UPDATE So, I got to see them this weekend!!! Supervised with my mum present at his request, but after 9 long days I finally got to see them, hold them, tell them I love them and they didn't forget me! ❤️ They loved the house, and their new bedroom 🤗 it was magic!
I'm hopeful for more contact this week which solicitor is hoping to negotiate. I'm STILL waiting for my letter from the CPN!. He was told by his manager to go through the NHS solicitors to make the letter water tight so that ex/his solicitors can't pick holes in it, so I'm actually waiting on the NHS solicitors now, its frustrating... They have had a similar case happen before, so want to do as much for me as possible.
However, ex agreed to contact this weekend, both days, due to my CPN speaking on the phone with my solicitor, and informing her I am well, capable, of sound mind, has seen me / spoken to me every few days since ex started with these mind games a month ago.
The kids were very anxious about going back to him, which was heartbreaking, but at the very least they know I'm always here, I have a safe home and I'm going to fight for their right to be with me, their mum.
Thankyou for all your support ladies. The first "urgent" hearing is next week, and then it's dealing with cafcass, social services etc for the next (and hopefully final) hearing in 2 months time where we will find out the child arrangements order.
Still a bloody long way to go till this is sorted, I don't trust that he won't do anything he can to get at me. He is already disputing the kids living with me and now my benefits may be stopped or suspended until this is sorted, which is just another form of him trying to control me.
I will never go back to him. I have lost all respect, faith, trust and any love I had for him is well and truly gone. He was able to hide behind clever words, confuse me, manipulate me and control me for far too long.
I hope the kids will forgive me for this upheaval in their lives, and I hope beyond all hope that they are back with me on a regular basis and that the judge can see him for what he is and that his actions have impacted our children's emotional well being significantly. But, until I have the judges decision, I know I won't take anything for granted. Anything could happen and now I know ex is capable of this, he could be capable of more and throw something else at me.
As always, thanks for checking in on me and your support xxx
Iamworthit · Yesterday 18:44
Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · Yesterday 10:33
@Iamworthit your court case is Tuesday I think? How are you doing? Have you seen your children again?
Hi, nice username, dd2 loves hungry caterpillar!
I saw them once in the week aswell as yesterday and today. All had to be supervised by my mum, despite his solicitor confirming she sent him the letter from my CpN on Tuesday lunchtime, and me also sending him a message to say he now has it. However this letter he so desperately said he needs for me to have unsupervised and overnight visits he hasn't even responded to. I'm presuming he is waiting till court on Tuesday.
Yesterday the girls informed me that daddy left them at a strange woman's house whilst he went to work...
The time has been wonderful and I've really treasured every moment. Yesterday my one year old was in desperate need of a nap, he snuggled up to me in our new king-size bed in our new house and he slept peacefully for well over 2 hours. I feel so blessed to be their mummy and am thrilled at how comfortable they have been when back with me for these times. If anyone reads this in the future going through something similar - they don't forget you. That was my biggest fear, but I have more faith now that the bond between a mother and her children will always be there, no matter what or who stands in the way. Love is love.
So, our new magic house (the girls named it) is empty again for now. I'm just counting down the time until Tuesday afternoon and hoping/praying/wishing/ that the judge sees him for what he is and what he has put the children through. My solicitor is hopeful, but obviously no one knows what's going to happen on the day. I never thought my ex was capable of what he has done, but here we are.
I hope everyone has had a lovely mother's day 💗
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 11:18
Thankyou for all your messages and words of support for tomorrow. The police know everything, they did their welfare check on the children whilst he was staying at his parents house in their old country farm house with the attatched holiday home for them to stay in surrounded by their 40 acres of land. Not in the home where he and I lived with his shed at the bottom of the garden and no doubt chaos in the house where for the first time he is having to do all housework, laundry and cooking. They have been back at his for almost 2 weeks now. I have found a small comfort in them choosing games on their tablets and me getting the notification to approve their choices. The fact that I left with barely anything means they have the majority of their toys there, beds, tv etc and to them it was our home where we all lived together so at least they have familiarity. Cafcass will probably be doing a Section 7 report in which case they will meet with us and the kids in both houses so can make their own assessments from that.
They love our new house and I've explained to them the benefits of two houses, bedrooms, toys, Christmas, birthdays etc. They are being so resilient and brave through it all. I'm hoping for them it's just been a bit of an adventure.
The children filled me in on their day at the 'stranger ladies' house, where there was other children, guinea pigs a cat and a dog. They watched telly and played with the other kids and the animals and they gave dd2 a dress she particularly liked. They were very animated about it. I guess at the very least they had fun, I imagine they've been pretty bored with him. We had to drive past his house and up the road next to ex's house to get to mine yesterday and dd1 proudly pointed out 'that ladies house'. Would you believe it's almost directly behind his house!! For all I know he's been seeing this woman behind my back. She could have been hopping over the fence every night and going into his shed for all I know. I can't believe this is my life right now, you couldn't make it up. But as I've come to learn the hard way I certainly can't trust him, and I won't put anything past him.
Literally just counting down till tomorrow now.
X
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 13:28
I have no idea who she is. I did however do a Facebook search of the local "Andreas" in the area and the kids pointed to who she was and pointed to the children who they recognised. It took all of about 60 seconds to find her. And the kids named the kids correctly to what she had shared publicly on her fb page. There's even a picture of her 'cheers-ing' her primary aged son both of them holding glasses of red wine. I've taken screenshots. Her name isn't on any registered childminder lists.
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 13:29
ThreeLocusts · Today 12:12
Will light a candle for you tonight. You've kept it together amazingly through all this. Here's hoping your kids will be back with you tomorrow.
Thankyou x
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Iamworthit · Today 13:41
Ilovethewild · Today 13:10
Op, stay true to yourself and your children.
don’t get caught up with what ex is doing/seeing/sleeping with. It is irrelevant! You can’t control it and the kids are ok. It will just muddy the waters. As others say it’s another twist from ex to distract you and send you off the rails.
focus on what you can do and what’s in the childrens best interest.
good luck with tomorrow, I hope the kids come home to you asap.
I genuinely don't care what he's up to relationship wise, I've been hoping he'd find someone else for a long time and leave me alone.
What I do care about is him leaving the kids with someone they don't know for whatever reason, when I'm round the corner desperate to see them, and him thinking he can do whatever he likes without any consideration for them, me or my mum who's had to drop everything (shes been brilliant in all this) without question, to supervise time for me to have my own children.
I will definitely be asking for first refusal of child care as some other posters have suggested.
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 13:42
Sunriseinwonderland · Today 13:20
My ex hid him for a month. DS was desperate to see me. My ex is a very wicked man.
Show quote history That's despicable. I'm so sorry x
Go to post Iamworthit · Today 19:19
Tomorrow is an urgent hearing to sort out the interim child arrangements before the first official hearing in May after cafcass have done their reports. It's possible there will be another 2 Hearings after that and this could take anywhere from 6 months up to a year to resolve.
Because he did a runner with the kids first, filed a Prohibited Steps Order to stop them living with me because he is saying I'm mentally unstable.
Best case scenario they return to live with me and the judge sees through his controlling behaviour and that he doesn't have the kids best interests at heart. Worst case scenario it stays as it is.
I suspect he has something else up his sleeve to throw at me tomorrow. Its clear he wants me to suffer as much as possible.

​

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/pvtdf6544yoa1.gif
The second they both crossed into the apartment, she closed the door behind them. Jasen thought for a moment that he heard the lock click, but wasn't sure. Her eyes were cast downward, moving again over the words on the paper. Nerves ran through Jasen, more pronounced than any he had ever known in his life. Running his tongue over his still tingling lips, he relished in the taste she left there.
“You left this note for me?” She finally spoke slowly and carefully, running her fingers over the words. “The morning when you were gone... this was there for me, but I missed it?”
With an excruciating amount of concentration, he kept his words organized and did not allow them to spill out at once. “I figured you must have been starving, I knew I was, so I only got up to grab some food from the lobby for us to eat. When I told you that I didn't bring you there to sleep with you, I meant it. I wanted to see you again; that's why I went back to the bar looking for you.”
“Zeke took your number from you, but he never gave it to me.”
“Would you have called if he did?”
Her eyes flickered upward for the briefest moment, then back downward again. “I would have wanted to...”
Having gotten to know how timid and reserved she was, he nodded, understanding her meaning but not quite wanting to push the question any further. “People are more than the things that happen to them, more than the reactions they have to the things that happen.” Her words from a short time before, while they lie on the ground at the park, exhausted and dizzy from spinning, ran through his head. “Watching you dance, Kairi, was beyond amazing. You are beyond amazing.”
Her head was down, looking at the paper she still clutched, but was no longer reading. Gently, he reached out and pulled the sheet from her hand, setting it aside on her couch. The motion caused her to look up, and straight into his eyes. She started to speak, but cut herself off with an almost defeated sigh.“Kairi,” his hand found her shoulder and pulled her closer. “If you want me to leave, I'll leave. I'll back off. But I want you to know...”
Springing to her tip toes, she set her lips gently against his, first silencing his words then stealing all thoughts that had lain behind them. “I don't want you to back off,” she admitted in a whisper. “Not if you don't want to.”
Jasen's lips twitched to a smile. His arms came up and caught Kairi around the back, pulling her closer. “This is exactly where I want to be.” Their lips came together again, slowly and the taste of her kiss took him over.
Yet, to his surprise, she pushed him away. “I’m, uh…” A nervous chuckle fell from her. “I’m still covered in nasty dry sweat from earlier, and probably smell bad, actually.” He eyes fell.
“No, you’re fine, I…” His attempt at pulling her close again was resisted.
“I really should shower. You can wait here if you want while I do. Actually, uh… wait here, please. It shouldn’t take me that long, and I’ll feel like a human being again.” Despite wanting to beg her to stay right where she stood, and to convince her that she was absolutely perfect, even while sweaty and stinky, Jasen dropped her arms from her and let her walk away. “It’ll just be a few minutes. Uh… makes yourself comfortable, if you want.”
With that she shuffled off toward the bathroom, closing the door swiftly behind her. Jasen, confused and defeated, dropped himself to the sofa. He could hear her moving about beyond the door, and it was near impossible for him not to think about the way he'd watched her body move earlier that night. Then the squeak of the pipes coming to life just before water began to patter against the tub. Several deep breaths were helpful, but didn't clear the thoughts completely.
Just as he had resolved to get up and move around, his ears perked up, not quite sure he'd heard something. He froze mid-stand. “Jasen?” Obvious nerves filled her voice as she called out to him from behind the closed door. Jasen rose slowly and moved toward her. “Jasen?” She called again.
“Yeah, Kairi?” Only a few feet stood between him and the bathroom.
“Can you come here?”
“I'm right outside the door. Is something wrong?”
She left open a slight, hesitant pause. “Come in here...please?”
He was unsure and the smallest bit shaky, though didn't quite understand why. Moving slowly, he reached toward the door handle, resting his fingers there for a moment before turning and pushing. There she stood, only a few feet in front of him, wearing nothing but a towel, her hair still wrapped in its loose bun. All of her clothes lay in a heap on the floor; had he been able to take his eyes from her, he would have seen the white lace panties and matching bra that had been covering her body. His eyes traveled from her head past all the curves to her toes, then back up to her eyes. She was biting her bottom lip. “Close the door.”
Without thinking, he did was he was told. “Wha...” he started the ask the obvious question, but all words were gone from his mind. Her perfect eyes, looking up at him, refused to let him think.
“I was wondering if you'd like to join me.” Despite trying to push the nerves from her voice, a few still hung to the ends of her words.
“You want me t...” Now it was really hard to think.”
She moved toward him, reaching around his frame to swing the door closed. “I was wondering...” – her hands were on the hem of his shirt, beginning to slide it upward – “... if maybe you would...” – her soft hands were sliding along his bare skin as she continued to push upward. His heart sped up. – “... like to join me in the shower.”
“K-Kairi... I...”
Her hands stopped moving and she tore her eyes away from him. “Sorry. If you don't...”
“No, no. I d... I mean I do, just... um....” The feeling of her hands was too much to allow any complete thoughts to pass through his head. He took a deep breath. “Are you sure you want to?”
Without another word, she pushed his shirt up past his shoulders, and he lifted his arms to allow it. Even before it hit the floor, he pulled her body against his, looking into her eyes one more time before the desire to taste her lips took over. His tongue brushed her lips, gentle and sweet.
Fingers brushing down his sides, Kairi moved until her finger tips came to the edge of his jeans, sliding inward. Slowly, they worked against the button, then the zipper, teasing just inside his boxers as they went. He sighed heavily against her mouth.
His jeans and boxers hit the floor. She pulled him along as she stepped backwards. The towel fell to the floor.
“Are...are you...” he spoke against her lips, capable of even less thought than before. “Are you sure?”
“Do you like me?”
“I think it's more than that.”
“Then I'm sure.” He looked down, once again running his eyes along her curves, but this time taking every last one in. She stepped backwards, over the edge of the tub and into the stream of the water. Instantly, the water flattened her hair as it cascaded down her body. He watched the droplets roll before realizing she was looking at him, beautiful eyes locked on his and a coy yet nervous smile across her lips. Jasen followed and stepped into the stream.
Before the glass door even finished swinging shut, Kairi wrapped herself around him, kissing him solidly. Their naked bodies pressed together, no space between them. Her tongue slipped between his lips, making his heart race and his knees weak. Jasen pulled his fingers through her wet, tangled hair, running his tongue along her own. A moan escaped his lips.
She began to shift downward, moving along the side of his face, kissing to his neck, reaching his chest. His breathing grew heavier, slowly beginning to realize what she was doing. The water cascaded over them. “K-Kairi...uuhhh!” Her lips wrapped lightly around his cock, tongue running along the side. Grabbing the bar along the side of the shower for support, Matt groaned in approval. She slid forward, taking more of him into her mouth, circling around with her tongue as she went.
Gripping her hair more solidly, it was all he could do to keep from pulling her in toward him or thrust himself forward. “Shit, Kairi...” he moaned, deep in the back of his throat.
She began to bob, moving one hand to grip the base of his cock with the other resting against his thigh. Jasen focused on the feeling of her soft tongue, her warm mouth sliding along him. Looking down, he saw her cheeks swell and fall with her every movement, then her eyes shift upward to him. Moans echoed off the tiled walls.
Kairi was moving faster, her eyes never leaving Jasen's. Her tongue slid along every inch of his shaft until she pulled back and sucked gently on just the head. His abs grew tense, started twitching, his hands gripping even tighter to her hair. “Oh... okay... okay...” Almost unwillingly, he pushed her away, his hard cock slipping from her mouth.
“D... Did I do something wrong?” The corner of her lips were glowing pink, her fingers still wrapped around the base of his cock. There was an innocence behind her eyes that made him, despite their current position, want to wrap her in his arms.
Instead, he leaned against the wall and tried to call his breath. “No, God no. That was... I was just.... getting close.
Her innocence shifted to a coy smile as she began to rise up. “Are you hoping you'll get to finish a different way?”
The look in her eyes, the seduction in her voice, he couldn't help himself. Flipping her around, he braced her against the side of the shower. His lips dropped to her neck, breathing against her skin heavily. “Mmmm, I was just thinking that I'd hate to finish without you.” Fingers brushing down her sides, he nibbled gently, slowly on the crook of her neck. Just as slowly, Jasen kissed upward to her jaw.
“I want you,” she whispered, he voice more intoxicating than ever.
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