Hello! In this post, I want to analyze the lyrics of Cringe with a specific focus on the line “I saw you in the water,” which many people have mentioned is a particularly confusing line in the song. To start off, here’s what Maeson said the overall song was about:
“This whole song in general was kind of more of a metaphor than it was about anybody in particular. There is somebody that some parts are about, but it was more of a metaphor of like, I grew up in church. And when I started to get in some trouble, when I was around like 18, 19, I felt all these people just pushing me away, doing kind of the opposite of what I feel like a church should do.”
I’m also aware that Matt Maeson has given the true meaning he was thinking of when he wrote the lyric “I saw you in the water” via a 2019 Tweet:
“Lol it’s in reference to the water of life. I had a religious upbringing, took a departure from that and came back in my own way. When I refer to seeing her in the water, I mean I see her in God and God in her.”
But I think the lyrics can be interpreted in a more complex and detailed way using the surrounding evidence in the song while still preserving the original meaning of the extended metaphor. Plus, analyzing the song in this way offers an interesting opportunity for literary analysis. Using all of the lyrics in the song, my best interpretation is that the song tells a story of two lovers growing apart because of the narrator’s drug habits, which is an extended metaphor representing the church and the community surrounding Maeson pushing him away in his time of need. “I saw you in the water” is Matt expressing disbelief in the community’s unfair treatment of him compared to other people who are struggling with non drug-related issues.
In the universe of the extended metaphor, the timeline starts with Maeson and his lover already together and enjoying themselves. We know this because he repeatedly states that they are “lovers,” and we can infer from the line “we just don’t blend now” later in the song that they did blend well at some point in time. “My spirit doesn’t move like it did before” similarly reveals that his spirit used to “[move]” and flourish when he was with his lover. Cringe doesn’t really reach back into the time before the lovers were together, or even describe when the lovers first met. But this makes perfect sense when connecting the fictional story to the real one–Maeson grew up in the community he’s singing about, so there was no “before.” He was raised Christian and toured prisons with his parents, who founded a ministry and played music for prisoners.
As seen in the bridge of the song, there were problems and sins on both sides of the relationship. The metaphor crosses over with reality here, where Matt’s sins are his drug habits both in and outside of the fictional world, but the lover’s sins simply represent the fact that his Christian community sinned in other ways (“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:23). As his Christian community repents and asks for forgiveness, the lover “sweats all their sins out” (a note: Maeson’s choice of the word “sweating” might refer to sweating out nicotine). She “[puts] all [her] thoughts back together” and is now in a better place. But whenever Maeson tries to shake his bad habits, he can’t–his “attempts seem to weather,” a diction choice that I’ll talk more about later–and so the two “don’t blend” anymore.
Because of the growing rift between the two lovers, they break up. In the first verse of the song, the narrator openly states “I’ve been alone so long, I feel like I'm on the run.” Since he asks his lover to “come over” and help him after he’s already been alone for a long time, it seems like there is a noticeable period of time in between the breakup and Maeson asking for help. This long only makes the attempt seem more desperate and shows how badly he needed help. I think “being on the run” is a fun lyric that can be analyzed in deeper detail: it makes me think of someone actively avoiding people, but since he isn’t avoiding people, people must be avoiding him. The imagery of “[kicking] up the dust” and “rust” also paint the picture of something neglected and forgotten. Combined with Maeson’s attempts to change himself “weathering,” all of these depictions symbolize abandonment and paint the picture that he has truly been left behind.
The first lyrics of Cringe are a call for help: “Lover come hold me.” The narrator needs his ex-lover to come over and get him out of his cycle of drug abuse, and Maeson is asking his community for a similar kind of help in real life. But when the lover does “come over,” she sees the true extent of his problems. It’s not clear from the lyrics whether she refuses to help or not, but I assume she does because Maeson’s community pushed him away in real life. Anyway, she tells him that he’s not the same man he used to be, and he receives no help from her in the song.
With all of this background provided, I can offer an interpretation of the line “I saw you in the water”: Maeson is expressing his disbelief that the community that supported him his whole life is suddenly refusing to help him. In effect, he’s saying “I saw you from the water and you didn’t help me.” He feels like he’s drowning in life and there are no hands reaching out to save him. Another line of reasoning that supports the same conclusion is “I saw you when you were in the water and I helped you, but now you’re not helping me,” a juxtaposition which just goes to show how unfair their treatment of him is. Either way, it’s clear that he’s “in the water” and they’re not–that he’s struggling and they’re not helping him. Also, comparing his bad habits to drowning makes it extra obvious that his community’s reaction is harmful and unjust: Maeson’s saying “of course you would save someone who’s drowning, so of course you would support someone who’s struggling in your community, right?” (Especially when religious communities often claim to be so supportive.)
Besides this analysis, there were a few other things I wanted to talk about that I found interesting.

• I think when Maeson repeatedly asks “Don’t I make you cringe?” / “Do I make you cringe,” it’s a somewhat rhetorical question. Even though it doesn’t seem like his lover answers him, nor do I think they would outside of the allegory (his community shunned him), he answers himself with the line “Oh I make you cringe,” where he’s now certain of it. Relatably, it seems like his inability to escape the cycles he’s trapped in makes him cringe. Also, he could be making them cringe because he reminds them of their own difficult struggles.
• The retort “you’re just high” in the chorus is a bit of a paradox. His lover, and his community, seem dismissive of his problems while at the same time refusing to help him because his problems are so taboo to them. This would only make it more confusing and unbelievable to Maeson when they rejected his pleas.

Since I’m posting this on Reddit, I wanted to take a quick second to analyze some different interpretations of the line “I saw you in the water” written by other people.

• “Within Christianity, baptismal waters are a sacrament necessary for salvation. It is meant to wash one of their sins and save their soul.” The interpretation listed on Cringe’s Genius page understandably has 10 downvotes. While this is all true, it doesn’t offer any interpretation deeper than a surface level definition of baptismal water, and it doesn’t connect to the rest of the extended metaphor.
• timidbacon: “I used to look in the water and see you as a reflection of myself because we were so similar.” This is my favorite interpretation other than my own, because it connects directly to other parts of the song where the lovers are described as both having problems. The only problem I might have with it is that it doesn’t seem “punchy” or emotional enough given the idea that they’re arguing in the chorus.
• ldfc-red: “I saw you get baptized–you know me. How could you turn on me like this?” I like this interpretation because it connects to my idea of unfair treatment, but I think they’re crossing wires between the real world and the extended metaphor here. This could technically fit within the metaphor, given that both lovers are Christian, but the song doesn’t ever actually discuss religion. We have to draw those parallels from information outside of the song.

Thanks for reading!

I was stoked when I was informed that Gorillaz was coming out with a new album. I’ve been a fan of Gorillaz for over 7-8 years now. My Dad introduced me to them, and told me he used to listen to them when he was in college. I remember sitting in the car with me as we watched and listened too a few songs. My Dad showed me the music videos and talked about how much he loved them, and ever since then I’ve listened to them. So naturally when I heard about Cracker Island’s release I was hyped, but it didn’t really live up to my expectations. I remember listening to cracker island (the song) and thinking “I’m not sure I like it all that much, but sometimes their songs are like that when you first hear them. If I listen to it enough it’ll grow on me I’m sure!” And it did. Then New Gold came out, and I felt the same way about it, and again in began to grow on me. And I think this really fueled the fire for my anticipation for the album. I listen to Baby Queen when it came out and I really just didn’t like it. To me it doesn’t feel like Gorillaz. But this isn’t the first time I disliked a song from them so I just thought I would wait until the next song to come out to see if I liked that one. But since I didn’t like Baby queen I guess it kinda turned me off from the album because I completely forgot about it until recently. I listened to the whole album just now and I’m really disappointed to be honest. And I’m not saying the album isn’t inherently bad, some of the songs have amazing beats. But to me it just doesn’t feel like Gorillaz, especially not the lyrics in some of them. And most of the songs have this Lofi hip hop type beat, which isn’t bad at all, it’s just most of their albums have songs from all genres in them and it feels refreshing to listen to their albums because not every song sounds anything alike. It was like after Baby Queen everything felt the same, and there wasn’t much variation. And this could be because this album is telling us the story behind their Cult and what all happened, but it still feels strange to me. And some of the lyrics just don’t seem like Gorillaz, like I mentioned before. I don’t know if I’m just really picky with my music or if I’m not the only one who feels this way.
I guess I just wanted to post this to ask other people if they feel the same way. What are your opinions about this album and do you agree with me?

I love me the before times. I loved Nightmare. I loved HttK. I loved The Stage. Black Reign was literal scorching fire.
But god damn, this ain’t it. I can appreciate that M wants to take the band in a unique direction (and truth be told, they’ve slain every other music dragon, so why not?) but come on, man, I can’t even mow my lawn to this album.
Why does M feel like he needs to outrun generative AI in such a harsh manner? Isn’t there a more pleasing way to do it than to just chuck “all teh musicz” into every song on the album?

Episode 01: Bigger! Badder! Brutal-er!
The scene faded into a shot of the Earth from space, an astronaut banging on a small communications satellite in the foreground with a wrench. The satellite had the letters 'TDRI' scrawled on the front in black.
"We've been to the movies," the voice of Chris McLean began as the satellite seemed to whir into function, lights on either end of it glowing green. "We've been around the world!" Just as the astronaut gave the camera thumbs-up, the satellite suddenly failed with a jolt of electricity and broke apart, the astronaut palming the visor of their helmet. "And this season," Chris said as the camera rapidly began to zoom in towards northern Canada, "we're going right back where it all began," the camera past through layers of cloud to reach a beautiful morning sky, then panned down to an all-too-familiar island, "at Camp Wawanakwa!"
Chris McLean was already standing just off-center on the dock, right by the 'Wawanakwa' sign – both of which looked like they'd gone through some heavy wear and tear. "I'm Chris Mclean," the host formally introduced himself, "and as you can see, things have changed since we've been away." He walked down the dock to where a male red-shirted intern of southeast Asian descent waited with a coconut drink on a platter; the right side of the camp's sign fell down as he passed by, taking out a small piece of the dock.
"And by changed," the host said with a darkly expectant smile, "I mean gotten really, really, dangerous!" He took the coconut drink from the intern. As soon as he did so a giant pink tentacle rose from the lake with a terrifying roar, and slammed down on the dock – Chris calmly sidestepped it, but the intern and a sizable chunk of the end of the dock were smashed into the water. "Good stuff," the host laughed.
"But the rules of the game remain the same," he told the camera, the scene changing to a panning shot of one of the cabin rooms, a cockroach scurrying over the lens. The room itself looked about the same as it had three seasons ago – decrepit and old-fashioned, but boringly so. "A handful of unsuspecting teens will bunk with complete strangers," Chris explained during the pan, the shot cutting to a stained piece of male underwear nailed to a wooden door that promptly opened to reveal the old outhouse confessional within, "air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional, and compete in life-threatening challenges all over the island," the camera cut to a long-distance shot of the thousand-foot-high-cliff, zooming in on the gleamingly jagged rocks in the water below it, "and risk being voted off," Chris continued as the shot cut to the clearing, firepit, oil drum, and eleven stump-seats used for Campfire Ceremonies of the past.
"Last one standing wins," the shot cut from the elimination area to a still image of a wheelbarrow overflowing with money, "one, million, DOLLARS!" A short, grand, and victorious tune blared as the shot zoomed in on the prize money.
"Speaking of our cast," Chris said back on the Dock of Shame as a cool rock theme began to play, "here they are now!"
The shot cut to a small but luxurious red-striped yacht where the twenty-four contestants of the past three seasons could be seen more-or-less enjoying themselves. Brick and Courtney were making out on the starboard side while Ella, Ezekiel, and Sadie danced nearby, Eva looking away from them. On the stern deck, Mike, Owen, and Sky were dancing and Izzy was hanging upside down swinging life rings with Noah watching with disinterest. On a higher sternward balcony, Dawn was meditating, Beth was reading a book, and Cody and Harold played with video game handhelds. Shawn dropped down on the group unexpectedly from even higher up, startling all four. And at the bow, Heather leaned coolly against the port-side railing and smiled at the camera, Topher was looking at his reflection in a mirror, Jo and Lightning arm-wrestled on the railing next to them, Amy and Rodney were dancing to music that Duncan was setting up on his boombox, and Lindsay sat on the very foremost point of the railing posing.
Chris waved at the yacht as it approached...and kept on going, the music scratching to a halt instead of the ship. "NOOOO!" Owen hollered in surprise in anguish as the boat sailed off-screen, and Chris laughed.
"No, not them," he told the camera as it zoomed back in on him. "This season, we've got all new players, fighting for the million!" he announced as the music turned tense and grandiose. "And here they come now, for real!"
The shot cut to another yacht approaching, similar to the last one but with its stripes a pale teal instead of red. Several teens could be standing along the bow, port-side, upper deck, and stern, and the camera cut to those at the head of the ship – Molly and Dave.
"Meet Molly," Chris said, the girl noticing the boy next to her feeling scared.
"What’s the matter? We’re just going to compete where the show started," Molly assured the boy.
"Dave," Chris continued, and the boy blinked.
"Yeah, but I didn't know that the island would consist of toxic waste," Dave told the girl before breaking out the hand sanitizer and rubbing his hands and arms with it, causing the indie girl to raise an eyebrow.
The camera panned to the right to show the next two campers in line – Scott and Trent.
"Scott! And, Trent!" Chris continued.
"Why are you carrying a guitar around?" Scott asked Trent, who was happily tuning up his guitar.
"So I can practice my songs at camp," Trent smiled at the grumpy boy.
"Max!" Chris announced next, the pale boy in question suddenly and without warning popping up between Scott and Trent with enough force to knock the two to the sides with startled cries. From the evil smile he was sporting to the pale skin, everything about him radiated villainy.
"These compestants have no idea what awaits them when we arrive," Max said, speaking darkly as a dark tune played in the background. "For I am the definition of pure evil!" Max degenerated into laughter as the camera panned away from him, showing Leshawna and Sammy, the next contestants.
"Leshawna," Chris introduced the large girl witnessing Max's introduction.
"That boy is not right in the head," Leshawna shook her head with disapproval.
"Sammy," Chris introduced the nervous cheerleader.
"He is a bit free-spirited," Sammy said timidly while holding her left arm.
The camera panned right again to show B. He snapped his fingers for the audience.
"B," Chris finally introduced, "and Scarlett," he added, the camera panning further right to show the girl next to B reading a book.
"You seem confident to be here," Scarlett said dryly without taking her eyes off her book. "Do you know about the substance of toxic waste and radiation?" B nodded in agreement, impressing Scarlett. "That's good to know."
"Katie," Chris continued as the scene cut to a spot further down the yacht, showing the girl holding her tablet.
"Just in," Katie waved pleasantly at the camera. "I'm about to be competing for a million dollars, I-"
As she spoke the camera panned away to Anne Maria spraying her hair.
"Anne Maria," Chris introduced.
"Oh yeah!" Anne Maria looked at the camera. "Three more coats oughta do it."
She was interrupted when Katie walked back into the shot. "Not to be rude," she looked at the camera, "but you panned away before I could finish my introduction."
"Sorry, viral," Anne Maria smirked. "The camera just loves me more."
"Geoff," Chris introduced next as he dashed onto the scene, putting himself next to the two girls.
"Okay, girls," Geoff said in what was a chill tone, "let's not get off on the wrong foot. You'll get more camera time after we're all introduced."
Anne Maria proceeded to spray her hair again, the cloud causing Geoff and Katie to cough profusely.
"Sierra," Chris introduced next, the camera panning up to the girl standing on the upper balcony.
She was hurriedly typing into her phone. "I can't wait to step foot on Camp Wawanakwa and talk about it on my blog!" Sierra said, looking around in amazement until a small flock of pigeons flew past and knocked her over the railing with a scream.
"And DJ," Chris finished as Sierra landed next to the fourteenth and final competitor of the season.
DJ looked down as Sierra landed and gasped. "Oh snap! Let me help you up!" DJ quickly bent down and helped Sierra up. "There you go."
"Yup!" Chris said as the shot cut back to him on the Dock of Shame. "It's our roughest, toughest, most explosive season ever!" He took out a remote control, and pressed the large central button with his thumb.
The yacht that the new contestants were sailing in on suddenly exploded, sending all fourteen of them flying and screaming in every direction.
Chris took a casual sip of his coconut drink, then looked at the camera and raised a finger high. "Right here," he said as a faint version of the series' capstone theme played, "on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!" The shot jumped outward as the title was said, showing Wawanakwa island in its entirety with a few plumes of smoke in the distance marking where the yacht had exploded.
xxx
(Fade to Opening Theme)
[The sequence begins much as it did three seasons ago, with an open into letterbox format as the camera focuses on the tops of a few distant pine trees. A rusty stage light rotates up and turns on; then the shot changes to a cobwebby spotlight swinging down and turning on as well; then a small security camera popping out of one of several leaky toxic waste barrels; then another camera bursting out of a tree hollow, held by an octopus tentacle and dislodging a few bones; then a pair of fair-skinned arms clapping a film slate in front of the camera which switches to a shot of the island, briefly showing a giant octopus looking out of the lake to the right, then flying forward down the dock and past the buildings, passing under a totem pole that Chris was sitting on and which was being carried by a trio of male interns of mismatched heights.]
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
[The camera rapidly flies through the trees as the lyrics begin, quickly reaching the top of the thousand-foot-high cliff.]
You guys are on my mind!
[It looks down at the ring of buoys in the water below and dives, immediately cutting to an underwater view as the bubbles disperse to reveal Sammy gagging with several vicious-looking fish watching her hungrily until a claw-like machine grabbed her and pulled her up to the surface.]
You asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
[Up in a canoe, B tinkered with the machine, and looked up as it pulled Sammy out of the water and into the sky.]
I wanna be...famous!
[The scene lingers on Sammy in front of the sun for a moment, then quick-pans left to Katie in the middle of the woods posing as she is filming herself; a falling Sammy abruptly hits her on the back and knocks both to the ground. Katie lifts her head to look at the cheerleader, who just smiles bashfully. Geoff runs past them as the camera pans left to Sierra sitting on a tree branch and texting on her phone. Gophers suddenly pop up from the ground and roar, causing Sierra to flee.]
I wanna live close to the sun!
[At the top of a waterfall, Molly and Trent float downriver in a canoe. Trent was playing a song on his guitar, to which Molly was vibing to until she finally spotted the waterfall. Both screamed as they went over the edge.]
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
[The camera pans down to DJ, balancing a log on his finger. Though he does not see the canoe falling behind him, he does see Molly and Trent as they fall right on top of him, breaking the log he was holding onto and sending all three into the water.]
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
[Scott is laughing at the three's misfortune, and a monstrous shark with arms and legs bursts out of the outhouse with a toothy grin, making Scott run away.]
I'll get there one day.
[The camera pans to the Mess Lodge, Chef Hatchet's silhouette visible in the window. Zooming in to the room shows him stirring a pot of some greenish slop with a dark grin, and the shot pans over to show Max cackling wickedly until Chef shoves a spoon full of slop into his mouth.]
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
[Another pan to the left reveals Anne Maria spraying her hair. Once she realized she was being recorded, she glared at the camera and sprayed it with her can. The spray cloud moves the scene out of the lodge and into the beach, where Scarlett is calmly reading her book – until a hawk flew right in just to snag it and flew away, much to Scarlett's unamusement.]
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera pans away from Scarlett and on to Dave applying hand sanitizer. A furry hand taps him on the shoulder, distracting the germaphobe and allowing the arm to snatch away the sanitizer. Dave realizes what's happened, and rushes angrily at the large hairy ape-man now using the hand sanitizer.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The camera pans down to the end of the dock to show Leshawna, blowing a kiss before taking a few steps back. She busts out a few dance moves of her own.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[A sudden splash of water comes down on the sista, interrupting her dancing and causing her to send a frown upward – Chris is hovering above him in a jetpack and helmet, holding an empty bucket. He drops the bucket then flies off, the flames from his jetpack taking over the screen. It becomes night as they peter out, and the camera pans down across the stars and treetops and full moon to Anne Maria and Geoff sitting at a campfire together. As they lean towards each other with expectant smiles they are interrupted and separated by Chef Hatchet, wearing a hazmat suit and holding a glowing green marshmallow between them with a pair of heavy tongs.
The shot zooms out to show the rest of the cast looking shocked, whistling the last few notes of the song – Trent, Leshawna, B, Scott, Dave, and Katie on Anne Maria's side; Max, Sammy, Molly, Scarlett, DJ, and Sierra on Geoff's side; and Chris standing next to Chef on Geoff's side as well. The shot continued to zoom out until a signboard was shown marking the presumed entrance to the fire pit; it read 'TOTAL DRAMA REVENGE OF THE ISLAND' in block letters, the third word being the largest and the last word relegated to a board tacked on at the end.]
XXXXX
"AAAAHHH!" Max screamed, the episode fading in to him landing hard on a rock jutting out of the water. "Why must a villainous mastermind suffer like this?" he groaned, pitifully sliding into the water as Anne Maria swam past in the background.
"Chris is so getting a beatdown for this!" Anne Maria said to herself.
Sammy was shown swimming by clinging to a piece of driftwood, then looking to the side at the sound of someone coming up behind her. "Sorry about this!" Trent shouted as he shot past like a torpedo.
The camera followed Trent as he swam past Molly. "There is a thing called open space!" Molly said before continuing her swim.
The shot cut back to Max, now flailing his arms as he struggled not to drown. "Spaz," Scott said as he swam past him.
Max finally sank below the water, but fortunately Scarlett quickly swam over and dived down.
"I pity you, and I also don't want you dead," Scarlett informed as she surfaced, pulling a coughing Max back up with her.
"Get me to land now!" Max demanded.
The camera cut to Geoff. He reached another rock jutting out of the water and pulled himself up onto it. "Okay. How am I gonna get myself to shore?" The party guy then saw a long piece of wood shaped like a surfboard and grabbed it. "I think I know what to do!"
Positioning himself on the rock while laying belly first on the wood, Geoff boosted himself off the rock and rocketed through the water, even managing to get up and maintain himself.
The shot cut to Scarlett helping Max swim to shore, only for a surfing Geoff to unknowingly splash water onto the both of them, causing them to fall under the water.
Leshawna sputtered as she sank and struggled to stay afloat. "I don't think I can stay up for much longer!"
"I'm on it!" DJ and Katie said, appearing out of nowhere and swimming to the girl.
"Oops. You can go first. Sorry if I interrupted," Katie apologized.
"No no. You can go instead. I think it was the other way around," DJ offered.
"Well, I mean, if you insist," Katie chuckled until the hand of Leshawna held onto Katie's head for support, dragging her down.
DJ panicked. "Hang on! I'm coming!" He dived down and got both Leshawna and Katie, the former spitting out water.
"If we weren't in water right now, I'd be tweeting about you saving me," Katie commented.
Confessional: DJ
"So this is my first confessional," DJ opened while looking around the outhouse confessional. "I've watched the first season, and this is where the contestants come in to talk about their feelings or strategy or whatnot."
"We're all newcomers here, so if I see anyone struggling, I'll be there to help them out," he continued with a smile before frowning. "Right after I get used to this island first."
Confessional: Katie
"Hello," Katie said in the next confessional to her tablet. "This is the first time I am in the Total Drama confessional. It's a little disgusting, but that's for another time!" She continued with her perky smile and put her tablet away. "I came onto this show in order to promote my vlogging expertise and gain more followers. I'm a bit of an advice guru, so don't be surprised if I have a solution for some sticky situations." She laughed blissfully. "That was so alliterative!"
Confessionals End
The footage resumed with a rather wet Trent on shore. He looked around, then cheered in victory. "Yes! I'm first!" he cheered. "And my guitar is in one piece-"
His face dropped as he looked to his left, and the camera panned to show Sierra fixing her wet hair.
"How did you get here before us?" Trent asked.
"I practiced swimming back home in case we have a beach episode," Sierra explained happily.
Dave was the next to come to shore, crawling out of the water. "I'm here!" he panted before falling on his face.
Confessional: Dave
Dave squirted hand sanitizer on his hands, and set his pocket-sized bottle aside on the seat, beginning to rub his hands together to spread the cleaning product. "How did I not read my contract fully? I never would've signed up if I had known how unclean the environment was gonna be."
Confessional Ends
B and Max were the next to make it to dry land, the quiet genius dragging the super villain up the beach on his head with the super villain coughing out water.
Confessional: Max
"I do not like yachts, so it was very enjoyable to have it be destroyed," Max grinned. "I just wish it was me who blew the yacht up instead of being on the receiving end like those other fools," he complained briefly.
"I guarantee you, everybody will be frightened by my abnormally large brain and my super advanced hearing. No one has ever, ever been able to sneak up on me!" he declared confidently just as an orange butterfly flew over him. It landed on his head...and with a sickening bone-crunch, Max started to tilt over. "Begone, brutal butterfly!" he cried in pain, falling over onto the seat under the butterfly's weight.
Confessional Ends
The footage cut back to the beach, showing Trent, Sierra, Dave, B, and Max loitering around a large rock further up the beach and revealing that Scott, Scarlett, Anne Maria, Sammy, Molly, Leshawna, Katie, and DJ had all made it to shore as well.
"This is preposterous!" Max ranted, pouring water out of his shoe. "I am not to be treated with disrespect! Chris will rue the day he met Max Mayhem!"
Molly was sitting next to Max and listening without a care. "Is your last name actually Mayhem? If it's not, I'd respect you for creating your own nickname."
Max was about to answer, but a wave and a dramatic riff signaled that another person had washed up.
It was Geoff, who coughed out a small fish.
Confessional: Geoff
"I wiped out for a while," Geoff confessed. "I’m more into parties and having a good time. As long as I get along with everyone and not be harsh, I can last up to the tenth or eleventh episode."
Confessional Ends
"I can't believe we were blown up before we even got on the island," Sammy said, Katie sitting near her. "I've been watching Total Drama for a while, and I can't even tell what's going to happen next," she looked at the girl.
"It's not your fault. None of us can look into the future," Katie told her before looking at her tablet. "Katchy Katie here, and so far, the island is looking pretty bland," she told her viewers.
"Katchy Katie?" Sammy wondered. "What's that about?"
"That's just my vlog name," Katie explained. "I usually record what's going on in my life so I can tell my viewers what to do and not what to do."
"Could you send me a link to your vlog?" Sammy asked the influencer. "It sounds interesting."
Katie gave a slip of paper with her name on it to Sammy. "Here you go. It's best to always keep track of what you see and know on paper so you won't forget in the future."
"Attention, fresh meat!" Chris announced, the shot cutting to a pair of loudspeakers on a tree nearby, then panning down and right to show that all fourteen campers were now waiting around on the rocky beach. "See that trail leading into the forest?" the host continued, the camera following the contestants' gazes right as they looked at where the beach, trees, and rocks met. "Race to the end of the trail," Chris commanded, "and do not disturb the wildlife! That would be bad."
"Does he seriously think that will frighten us?" Scarlett blew him off.
"The tiniest sound can set them off," Chris continued. "Liiike...THIS!" He blew an airhorn over the intercom, forcing all fourteen campers to cover their ears.
The camera panned over to the distant treetops on the left, the airhorn fading in to a loud, terrifying roar that startled a flock of birds to flight. The music became tense as one tree was knocked over, then another closer to the beach. Finally, the cast screamed and fled into the woods.
\
A clock wipe transitioned the footage ahead to an adorable little purplish bird singing on a branch...until a frog-like tongue snapped out of a hollow behind it and dragged the bird into darkness.
The camera panned down to a finish line, just as Geoff and DJ ran past it with the brickhouse in the lead. "Alright! First place!" DJ turned to the party guy. "Don't worry. Second's not that bad."
"I know," Geoff smiled. "I don't get why people are worked up over it though."
It was then that Chris rode up on a red ATV, his usual smile on his face. "Party Time, two steps left. You're on Team A," he directed, Geoff nodding happily and walking a few steps back towards the finish line. "Big Friendly Giant? Move right. You're on Team B," he told DJ, directing him to the right; he complied just as Scott crossed the finish line, skidding to a stop next to Geoff.
"Pit Sniffer," the host told him, "you're on Team A." Molly slid in next. "Free Spirit, Team B," Chris told her.
"Alright then," Molly said with a smile and ran off to the right. B stopped running and came to a halt.
"Silent Treatment, Team A," Chris told him, causing him to give his signature greeting to Geoff and Scott before Trent arrived. "Guitar Hero, Team B," Chris told him.
"Okay!" Trent went to his designated team.
Sammy and Katie arrived next, the nervous cheerleader bending over to catch her breath and the influencer clutching her chest. "Sour Sport. Team A. Perky Influencer. Team B," Chris said.
"I'm not that bad," Sammy mumbled while Katie ran to her team.
"Blogspot, Team A," Chris continued over a shot of Sierra running and stopping at her team. Dave arrived next. "Germ Avoider, Team B."
The camera zoomed out a little ways from Team A just as Leshawna ran up, panting and out of breath.
"Loud and Proud, Team A," Chris said. "Tan in a Can, Team B," Chris continued as Anne Maria arrived, walking rather than running.
"I'm… so… tired!" Max moaned while dragging himself through the floor.
"Maniacal Max, Team A," Chris directed. As Max joined his teammates they all looked back towards the finish line, with Scarlett simply walking to the finish.
"Aaand Quiet Genius, Team B," Chris finished with a smile.
"What was that thing in the forest?" Sierra said, trudging past her teammates.
"I'm pretty sure that cry does not sound like any normal animal," Trent added.
"Relax, it'll all make sense eventually," Chris explained, his impish smile quickly degenerating into long, evil laughter that caused the two teams to stare at him and look at each other in awkward, nervous confusion.
Chris finally stopped laughing, and wiped a tear from his eye. "Now, this season of Total Drama will be a little bit different," he explained. "For example, in every episode, someone will be eliminated."
The campers gasped, and an ominous chant played in the background. "It's never been that hard before," Sammy remarked in shock.
"I know," Chris told her with a smug grin, "I'm good. But since you're all first-timers, I'm gonna cut you a break and hide this bad boy somewhere in the campgrounds." He held up what appeared to be a small wooden carving of his head, and the shot cut in for a close-up. "A genu-ine McLean Brand Chris Head! Your free ticket back into the game!" The small carving was shown against a radiant white and blue background, an angelic chorus playing as images of Chef Hatchet dressed in a lavender leotard and tutu, angel wings, and a halo flew into the corners of the screen while holding harps and singing.
"Even if your teammates vote you off," he added as B and Geoff were shown staring with wide eyes. "Whoever finds it," Chris continued over a shot of DJ, Dave, Scarlett, and Molly also watching with wide eyes, "will become the most powerful player in Total Drama history!" Both Sierra and Max were shown smiling in awe.
The angelic chorus ended as Chris brought the statue in for a closer look. "Is the cleft on my chin really that big?" he asked in concern.
"Yep, and it looks like a butt," Scott answered, earning an annoyed glare from the host.
"Moving on," Chris said forcefully, "time for the team names!"
"I hope the names won't be stupid!" Molly immediately said. "I don't want to be defined by a name like the Silly Bunnies?"
"You got that right Molly," Chris told her, "The names have been chosen by moi. Team A, you shall henceforth be known as, the Toxic Rats!" A short but energetic riff played as the screen switched to a green, red, and yellow starburst-patterned background, a green logo spinning up to the front. It bore the image of a six-limbed rat standing up on its hindlegs and bearing its teeth menacingly.
The Toxic Rats stared blankly for a moment before Max laughed and said "How evil!"
"And Team B," Chris continued, turning his head to the other six, "you are hereby dubbed, the Mutant Maggots!" A different energetic theme played as a teal, yellow, and orange sunburst-patterned background took over the screen, and a red logo spun up to the front. This one depicted the head of a three-eyed maggot, its mouth frozen in a gaping hiss.
The Mutant Maggots stared blankly for a second as well. "What's with all the chemical waste references?" Dave asked.
The perspective switched to a group shot as another loud roar shook the area. "It's the monster!" Anne Maria shouted in terror, making the others look around in shock.
The shot cut to some distant trees, a flock of birds flying away as one fell, then the camera panned to the right as another closer tree fell. Dave, DJ, and Katie gasped in fear, the brickhouse quickly grabbing the influencer's arm for comfort, and the camera zoomed in on a bush in front of the last fallen tree.
A small hairless squirrel with big yellow eyes jumped out and looked around.
"So we panicked over a small squirrel?" Scarlett said in disbelief.
"Aww, it's kinda cute!" DJ gushed...until it blinked sideways, and he cringed audibly.
"What happened to it?" Katie asked from off-screen as the squirrel happily blinked and looked around some more.
"While we were gone," Chris explained, "I rented the island out to a nice family-oriented biohazardous waste disposal company." As he spoke, the camera cut to a pile of oil barrels stashed in and around a tree. All of the barrels had a hazard sign on them, and most were leaking some sort of foul bubbling green liquid. "Sweet people," the host remarked.
"But," he added as the focus cut back to him on his ATV, "the waste is having a teensy bit of an impact on the flora and fauna." The hairless squirrel was shown again, blinking as a monarch butterfly flew close to it. It snapped out its tongue like a frog, and swallowed the butterfly up.
"This may be odd, but that squirrel is cool!" Geoff said with a grin as Max and Sammy gave him odd looks.
"You know," Leshawna said, cautiously approaching it with a smile on her face, "it looks weird but I'm sure it's perfectly harmless! Am I right?" She reached out to pet it, and it roared the same deep and terrifying roar that had scared them all earlier, then shot lightning from its eyes at the ground Leshawna was standing on. Leshawna screamed and ran away, and the squirrel blew her a raspberry before hopping back into the bush.
Chris was laughing hysterically as the shot cut to Leshawna jumping into the arms of a surprised Geoff in fear. The camera cut back to Chris as he stopped laughing, then in an elated and dramatic tone said "Most. Danger. Ev-er~!" as an equally sharp and dramatic tune played.
Confessional: Leshawna
"That guy is some kind of crazy," Leshawna confessed to the outhouse camera in outrage. "Adding toxic waste to the island? That's gotta be a criminal offense if it endangers us."
Confessional Ends
"Now," Chris said with a wide smile as the scene cut back to him once again, "before we start our very first challenge of the season, let's give out some rewards. DJ," he turned to the left, "because you made it up here before anyone else, your team gets a trampoline!" A grand tune played as the shot cut to a close-up of the trampoline, and moments later Chef Hatchet bounced down upon it. "And the Rats, get a hacksaw," Chris added, the shot cutting upwards to show his glowering assistant holding the tool in question.
Chef suddenly lost his balance and fell with a crash; Max laughed and had the hacksaw thrown at his head for it; and Scarlett silently laughed too, and in turn got crushed by the trampoline that was thrown at her, making her groan in pain.
"What do these items have to do with this bomb?" Chris asked, holding up a square of plastic explosives with a wireless timed detonator attached to it.
"Uhh, he's not gonna blow us up again, is he?" Trent nervously asked an equally nervous Scarlett.
"Who knows," Chris said with a sly smile, leaning in between the two with the bomb. "Find out when we come back!"
(Fade to Commercial)

This post is the last post in a series looking at the massive amount of 'rhyming' recursivity I believe exists between (a) the homecoming of Petyr Baelish to the Fingers and (b) the homecoming of Theon Greyjoy to Pyke.
While this series/post can be read simply as a study 'for its own sake' of the curious recursion between these storylines, it is my belief that the 'rhyming' explored here between the stories of Petyr and Theon may exist (at least in part) to foreshadow that, like Theon, Petyr Littlefinger, is (among other things) a scion of ironborn kings, because Petyr is Hoare-ish: I.e. because Petyr's blood is (in some part) the blood of the ironborn kings of House Hoare of Orkmont and, later, Harrenhal.
This post is also post 25 of 25 in my broader series on the topic of a Hoare-ish Littlefinger, which is indexed [HERE].
Even if I'm wrong about Littlefinger's lineage, the 'rhyming' recursivity between the homecomings of Theon and Petyr detailed in this series remains, and certainly merits attention.
NOTE: In what follows, all uncited quotes are from ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Petyr's homecoming to his "Drearfort" tower of the 'Smallest Finger', or ACOK Theon I, which describes Theon's homecoming to "drear" Pyke.
As in past posts, I sometimes use "→" as shorthand for "'prefigures' and/or 'informs' and/or 'is reworked by' and/or 'finds a recursive rhyme in'.
As in: ACOK Theon I → ASOS Sansa VI.
This post picks up straight-away from where Part 9 left off. You can read Part 9 [HERE].
If you want to begin at the beginning, Part 1 is [HERE].

Aeron & Oswell

After Theon's homecoming chapter opens with Theon thinking "There was no safe anchorage at Pyke", which is copied nearly verbatim during Petyr's homecoming with Sansa, we see Theon anticipating his first glimpse of Pyke castle, and read this sentence:

Theon drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray, and looked for home.

That line proves to be a key part of a pun-tastic 'rhyme' between (a) Theon coming ashore from the Myraham and meeting Aeron and (b) Sansa coming ashore from the Merling King with the aid of Oswell.
I'll explain.
Note first that Oswell, who is…

…tall and gangling, with long white hair and a great hooked nose, with eyes shaded by a cowl [like a monk's cowl!]… (ACOK Theon V)

—clearly 'rhymes' with Aeron, an ascetic priest (see Oswell's monk-ish cowl) who is…

Tall and thin, with… a beak of a nose… [and] ropes of dried seaweed were braided through his waist-long black hair and untrimmed beard.

They're set up as yin and yang: Tall and similarly built with notable noses and long hair… but one has "long white hair", the other "long black hair", and Aeron has an "untrimmed beard" while Oswell is clean-shaven.
Aeron's beard is not simply a beard, though, but a beard with seaweed in it, which 'rhymes' with Oswell being not simply clean-shaven, but clean-shaven in a sea-faring way, as his "windburnt face"—

She studied the old man's lined windburnt face, hook nose, white hair, and huge knuckly hands. (ASOS Sansa VI)

—prefigures the "wind-chafed skin" of Aeron's niece Asha, which is tagged as typical of the sea-faring ironborn—

Ironborn, he knew at a glance; lean and long-legged, with… wind-chafed skin, strong sure hands….

—as are her notably "strong sure hands", which similarly 'rhyme' with Oswell's notably "huge knuckly hands".
SIDEBAR: As for Aeron's robes here being "green and grey" ("and blue"), this underlines that Petyr's oft-mentioned "grey-green" eyes are like the sea, which (as I've mentioned in previous posts) suggests per Archmaester Haereg's maxim—

"You may dress an ironman in silks and velvets, teach him to read and write and give him books, instruct him in chivalry and courtesy and the mysteries of the Faith… but when you look into his eyes, the sea will still be there, cold and grey and cruel." (TWOIAF)

—that Littlefinger is, at least in part, an ironman.
END SIDEBAR
The first thing we're told about Aeron after Theon realizes who he is is that "he washed up safe on shore"—

A memory prodded at Theon. In one of his rare curt letters, Lord Balon had written of his youngest brother going down in a storm, and turning holy when he washed up safe on shore. "Uncle Aeron?" he said doubtfully.

—which prefigures Oswell splashing his way ashore at the Smallest Finger:

Oswell and Lothor splashed their way ashore, as did Littlefinger himself.

(If Oswell is Aeron-ish, surely Petyr making like Oswell and splashing about in the surf here could foreshadow that he is Hoare-ish. And perhaps some kind of religious figure as well.)

Drawn Up Hoods

With that Oswell/Aeron 'rhyme' in mind, consider again that, as Theon approaches castle Pyke on the Myraham…

Theon drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray, and looked for home.

Sound familiar? That's because it's reworked when Sansa is rowed ashore by the "gangling", Aeron-esque Oswell:

Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore. Sansa huddled in the bow under her cloak with the hood drawn up against the wind….

When Sansa gets to shore, "two old men" help to make sure she doesn't get even a little bit wet—

The two old men waded out up to their thighs to lift Sansa from the boat so she would not get her skirts wet.

—which was, of course, exactly the thing Theon was trying to avoid back in ACOK when he "drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray", as Sansa drew hers "up against the wind" when Oswell rowed her in.

Gangplank → Gangling.

GRRM is just warming up. When Theon reaches Lordsport and disembarks from the Myraham, he, too, avoids getting wet. At least initially. Where Sansa uses "gangling" Oswell to come ashore, Theon uses… a "gangplank":

Without waiting for a reply [from Myraham's captain], he strode down the gangplank. "Innkeeper," he barked. "I require a horse".

Kneeling Servants

The innkeeper never gets Theon his horse, of course (of course), because Aeron shows up. And what does gangling white-haired Oswell's black-haired physical mirror Aeron do? He makes Theon get wet after all.

"Kneel."
The ground was all stones[!] and mud. "Uncle, I—"
"Kneel. Or are you too proud now, a lordling of the green lands come among us?"
Theon knelt. He had a purpose here, and might need Aeron's help to achieve it. A crown was worth a little mud and horseshit on his breeches, he supposed.
"Bow your head." Lifting the skin, his uncle pulled the cork and directed a thin stream of seawater down upon Theon's head. It drenched his hair and ran over his forehead into his eyes. Sheets washed down his cheeks, and a finger crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine. The salt made his eyes burn, until it was all he could do not to cry out. He could taste the ocean on his lips. "Let Theon your servant be born again from the sea, as you were," Aeron Greyjoy intoned. "Bless him with salt, bless him with stone, bless him with steel."

Note that Theon kneeling on "stones and mud… and horseshit" before a priest with "seaweed" in his beard is reworked even as Oswell rows Sansa ashore and she huddles in her cloak like Theon, when the Baelish household kneels on rocks covered by nasty seaweed and Sansa dodges sheepshit:

Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore. Sansa huddled in the bow under her cloak with the hood drawn up against the wind, wondering what awaited her. Servants emerged from the tower to meet them…. When they recognized Lord Petyr they knelt on the rocks.
[Petyr] led them up the strand over rocks slick with rotting seaweed. … Sansa had to step carefully; there were pellets [i.e. sheepshit] everywhere.

Blessings

Meanwhile, Aeron giving Theon his holy "bless[ing]" is reworked just before Sansa is rowed ashore, when Petyr asks for Sansa's "blessing" after he tells her they're not going to Winterfell and that he's going to wed Lysa:

"So silent, my lady?" said Petyr. "I was certain you would wish to give me your blessing. …"
"I . . . I pray you will have long years together, and many children, and be very happy in one another.

Sansa's reluctant acquiescence — both to giving the blessing and to going ashore and going along with Petyr's plan, which she had not anticipated — echoes Theon's reluctant acquiescence to both Aeron's blessing and Balon's plan of invasion, which he hadn't anticipated.
I suspect Littefinger was fed the line, "So silent, my lady?" before asking for Sansa's blessing as a nod to several pertinent silences in ACOK Theon I. First, the "sullen silence" of the Myraham's captain when he reluctantly acquiesces to Theon taking his would-be salt wife daughter below deck to get a blowjob; second, the "gloom of silence" between Theon and Aeron as they make the final approach to Pyke, post-blessing; and finally, Theon marking the absence of Euron's 'lady', Silence, as he sails into Lordsport:

Theon searched for his uncle Euron's Silence.

Truly, all things come round again.

Getting Wet & Staying Dry 1

But what about Aeron getting Theon pointedly wet? Aeron not only making Theon kneel but getting him wet and then riding with him to Pyke, is reworked (and reversed) not just by Oswell and Lothor rowing Sansa ashore — note the "rode" → "rowed" wordplay:

They [Aeron and Theon] rode in a gloom of silence.
Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore.

— and not just by Sansa being carried ashore and kept pointedly dry by two old men who were, seconds earlier, kneeling reverently on the seashore, but also by Aeron-ish Oswell helping Sansa "up" onto The Merling King from his rowboat while assuring her he won't let her fall into the sea, which he makes sure she doesn't:

The rower shipped the oars and helped Sansa to her feet. "Up now. Go on, girl, I got you." Sansa thanked him for his kindness, but received no answer but a grunt. It was much easier going up the rope ladder than it had been coming down the cliff. The oarsman Oswell followed close behind her… (ASOS Sansa V)

So: Where Oswell-ish Aeron forces Theon to kneel and then wets him down with seawater, ceremonially "drowning" him after he comes down the "gangplank", the "gangling" Aeron-ish Oswell helps Sansa "to her feet" and then "up" while promising not to let her fall in the sea, where she could drown.

Getting Wet & Staying Dry 2

Aeron forcing Theon to kneel and getting him wet before he "rode" with him to Pyke is also reworked/reversed inside Petyr's tower, when Sansa's 'other' rower Lothor protects Sansa from Marillion's rape attempt— from being (like Theon) forced to get "wet", so to speak:

"My blood is stirred. And yours, I know … there's no wench half so lusty as one bastard born. Are you wet for me?"
"I'm a maiden," she protested.
"Truly? Oh, Alayne, Alayne, my fair maid, give me the gift of your innocence.

The wetness motif is played up again:

"He put a hand on her breast, and squeezed. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes. You wouldn't want them ripped, I know. Come, sweet lady, heed your heart—"

He wants to "get [her] out of [her] wet clothes" so he can get her "wet", so to speak. But where Aeron forced Theon to "kneel" and get wet in language that suddenly reads as quite rapey and spine-chilling—

Sheets washed down his cheeks [which cheeks?], and a finger[!] crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine."

—before he "rode" with him to castle Pyke, Lothor Brune, who "rowed" Sansa ashore, keeps her safe and 'dry':

Sansa heard the soft sound of steel on leather. "Singer," a rough voice said, "best go, if you want to sing again." The light was dim, but she saw a faint glimmer of a blade.
The singer saw it too. "Find your own wench—" The knife flashed, and he cried out. "You cut me!"
"I'll do worse, if you don't go."
And quick as that, Marillion was gone. The other remained, looming over Sansa in the darkness. "Lord Petyr said watch out for you." It was Lothor Brune's voice, she realized.

Dagmer Cleftjaw → Lothor Brune

And what do you know? Oswell's rowing partner Lothor Brune is also prefigured by Theon's homecoming. Not by Aeron, but by Dagmer Cleftjaw, who Theon thinks of as he approaches Lordsport on the Myraham. In fact, there's a huge 'rhyme' between (a) Dagmer Cleftjaw and his "gut-churning scar", on the one hand, and (b) the beginning of ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Lothor Brune and Sansa's upset stomach (i.e. her churning guts) and seemingly permanently scarred psyche, on the other. I'll try to lay out now.
Consider first that as Theon approaches Lordsport on the Myraham, he goes below deck, where he thinks about Dagmer Cleftjaw (along with the sour-like-Aeron Sylas Sourmouth, who was discussed in Part 8):

As the Myraham made her way landward, Theon paced the deck restlessly, scanning the shore. He had not thought to find Lord Balon himself at quayside, but surely his father would have sent someone to meet him. Sylas Sourmouth the steward, Lord Botley, perhaps even Dagmer Cleftjaw. It would be good to look on Dagmer's hideous old face again.

We meet Dagmer in ACOK Theon III,

He smiled himself to show how it was done. It made for a hideous sight. Under a snowy white mane of hair, Dagmer Cleftjaw had the most gut-churning scar Theon had ever seen, the legacy of the longaxe that had near killed him as a boy. The blow had splintered his jaw, shattered his front teeth, and left him four lips where other men had but two. A shaggy beard covered his cheeks and neck, but the hair would not grow over the scar, so a shiny seam of puckered, twisted flesh divided his face like a crevasse through a snowfield "We could hear them singing," the old warrior said. "It was a good song, and they sang it bravely."
…Dagmer grinned more often and more broadly than Lord Balon ever had.
Ugly as it was, that smile brought back a hundred memories. Theon had seen it often as a boy, when he'd jumped a horse over a mossy wall, or flung an axe and split a target square. [More fond memories of Dagmer.]

We later learn that Dagmer is "fearsome" and a "fierce fighter" as well, despite being marked as aged by his "white mane of hair". (ADWD The King's Prize)
Dagmer's ship is named Foamdrinker, a double-entendre about ale-drinking, as he likes drinking, as well as reaving songs — especially the one a singer wrote about him:

He knew that would give Dagmer pause. A singer had made a song about the axe that cracked his jaw in half, and the old man loved to hear it. Whenever he was in his cups he would call for a reaving song, something loud and stormy that told of dead heroes and deeds of wild valor. (ACOK Theon III)

Balon puts Dagmer in Theon's reaving detachment. Theon foolishly resents this, not accepting that he is inexperienced and needs and could benefit enormously from a seasoned number two with whom he has a good relationship:

"You are to harry the Stony Shore, raiding the fishing villages and sinking any ships you chance to meet. … Aeron will accompany you, and Dagmer Cleftjaw."
…Theon felt as if he'd been slapped. He was being sent to do reaver's work, burning fishermen out of their hovels and raping their ugly daughters, and yet it seemed Lord Balon did not trust him sufficiently to do even that much. Bad enough to have to suffer the Damphair's scowls and chidings. With Dagmer Cleftjaw along as well, his command would be purely nominal. (ACOK Theon II)

Balon gives Theon Dagmer to help him, but Theon can only see it as an affront, so he tries to sideline him:

Dagmer Cleftjaw stood by the high carved prow of his longship, Foamdrinker. Theon had assigned him the task of guarding the ships; otherwise men would have called it Dagmer's victory, not his. A more prickly man might have taken that for a slight, but the Cleftjaw had only laughed. (ACOK Theon III)

That Splintery Ladder Again & Lothor's Hand Up

Now, remembering that we're introduced to Dagmer Cleftjaw while Theon is still aship en route to Pyke, consider again the first paragraph of Sansa VI, plus a bit more (which of course takes place while Petyr and Sansa are still aship en route to Petyr's Drearfort):

The ladder to the forecastle was steep and splintery, so Sansa accepted a hand up from Lothor Brune. Ser Lothor, she had to remind herself; the man had been knighted for his valor in the Battle of the Blackwater. Though no proper knight would wear those patched brown breeches and scuffed boots, nor that cracked and water-stained leather jerkin. A square-faced stocky man with a squashed nose and a mat of nappy grey hair, Brune spoke seldom. He is stronger than he looks, though. She could tell by the ease with which he lifted her, as if she weighed nothing at all. …
She had seldom ventured out on deck herself. Her little cabin was dank and cold, but Sansa had been sick for most of the voyage . . . sick with terror, sick with fever, or seasick . . . she could keep nothing down, and even sleep came hard. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw Joffrey… dying….
…Even this close to shore, the rolling of the ship made her tummy queasy.…
[Petyr] put a sympathetic arm about her shoulders. "Are you quite well? You look so pale."
"It's only my tummy. The seasickness."

We're subsequently reminded of Brune's "squashed nose" and "mat of nappy grey hair", and told of his "square jaw" and more:

With his squashed nose, square jaw, and nap of woolly grey hair, Brune could not be called comely, but he was not ugly either. … Sober, he was a quiet man, but a strong one. (AFFC Alayne II)

Recall too that Brune saves Sansa from Marillion, who tries to use her as Theon used the captain's daughter.
Having surveyed the field of (word)play, we can now see the 'rhyming':

• Where Theon goes below deck as he approaches Lordsport and thinks about Dagmer, whose jaw is (verbatim) "splintered", Sansa, with Brune's help, climbs up to the deck using a (verbatim) "splintered" ladder as she approaches the Drearfort.
  
• Where Theon spurns the 'hand up' Dagmer and his splintered jaw could have given him, "Sansa accept[s] a hand up from Lothor Brune" and climbs the "splintered" ladder.
  
• Where Theon think of the Cleftjaw, who has a "gut-churning scar", Sansa thinks about her literally churning guts — her upset "tummy".
  
• Where Theon thinks that Cleftjaw's "gut-churning scar" resulted from his being "near[ly] killed as a boy", Sansa's churning guts are related to the evident psychic scar she's suffered, which causes her to see a boy killed over and over again.
  
• Dagmer's "shattered" teeth and "splintered" jaw (and Dagmar being sent to "Torrhen's Square") → Brune's "squashed nose" and "square jaw"
  
• Where Dagmer is ironborn, and had his jaw "cracked… in half", Brune wears a "cracked and water-stained [as if from the sea]" jerkin.
  
• Dagmer's "snowy mane of white hair" → Brune's "mat of nappy grey hair"/"nap of woolly grey hair"
  
• Despite their 'old hair', Dagmer is "fierce" and "fearsome", Brune "strong".
  
• Where Dagmer's smile is "ugly" but nonetheless fills Theon with warm memories (defying its appearance), Brune, who "could not be called comely, but… was not ugly either", is "stronger than he looks".
  
• Where Dagmer "covered his cheeks and neck" with a beard but can't grow a 'proper' one due to his scar, which appears as a "seam", Brune doesn't look like a "proper knight" in his "patched… breeches" and "scuffed boots". (Note the sewing language — "seam" → "patched" — and the lexical similarity: "cheeks" → "breeches".)
  
• Both men seem to have a penchant for drink (per the implications of Sansa commenting on Brune's nature "when sober") and a foregrounded relationship with singers. (Where Dagmer loves singers and songs, Brune is in conflict with Marillion — although the deeds of "Lothor Apple-Eater" are likely sung of, like Dagmer's exploits.)
  

Thus just as the Aeron of Theon's homcoming 'rhymes' with the Oswell of Petyr's homecoming, so is Theon's Dagmer Cleftjaw reworked in the person of Petyr's Lothor Brune.
And thus everything about Petyr's homecoming continues to remind us of Theon's homecoming, which makes sense… if Petyr is likewise a scion of ironborn royalty (e.g. if he's Hoare-ish).

The End, and The Distinct Possibility That The Rhyme Between Petyr's and Theon's Homecomings Isn't (Just) About Petyr Being Hoare-ish, After All

That's it. That's all I got regarding the recursively 'rhyming' homecomings of Theon and Petyr. For me, the insane scope and depth of the 'rhyming' between Petyr's homecoming and the homcoming of a scion of ironborn kings is entirely consistent with my broader hypothesis: that the blood of ironborn kings likewise flows in the veins of Petyr Littlefinger — namely "the black blood" of House Hoare of Orkmont.
And yet . . .
It remains that notwithstanding that my Hoare-ish Littlefinger posts connected virtually everything we're told about House Hoare and its various historical kings with things we're told about Petyr Baelish, this (sub)series has detailed recursion not between Petyr and the Hoares, but between Petyr and Theon Greyjoy, who is like the Hoares in that his blood is that of ironborn kings, but who is, nonetheless, a Greyjoy.
It also remains that Theon is the grandson of Quellon Greyjoy, and that [as I show here] — or just scroll down, I'll reproduce that post in the comments — Quellon Greyjoy as described in both TWOIAF and in ASOIAF is nothing if not incredibly Hoare-esque, and not just because his policies and biography in TWOIAF 'rhyme' with the policies and biographies of various Hoare kings, but because ASOIAF proper subtly suggests he was something of a 'whore' in that AFFC makes it abundantly clear that Quellon was a prolific sperm cannon by repeating over and over that he sired nine sons we know of (on three different wives).
Recall that we saw in [Part 2 of the original 'Littlefinger is Hoare-ish' series] that Petyr is in certain striking respects similar to Balon, to Euron, to Aeron, to Asha, and even to Victarion.
This all gives rise to the question: Does all the 'rhyming' between the homecomings of Theon Greyjoy and Petyr Baelish as detailed in this series 'merely' (further) hint that Petyr is (literally) Hoare-ish, and hence that he is like Theon in that he, too, is the scion of ironborn kings?
Or do all the Petyr-Greyjoy connections, coupled with Quellon's foregrounded fecundity and the presence of a barely concealed metaphor for an ocean-based sperm (whale) cannon on Petyr's estate (alongside a reminder of invaders from the sea)—

There was one place where the tide came jetting up out of a blowhole to shoot thirty feet into the air, and another where someone had chiseled the seven-pointed star of the new gods upon a boulder. Petyr said that marked one of the places the Andals had landed, when they came across the sea to wrest the Vale from the First Men.

—hint that at some point during his travels, Quellon Greyjoy bedded Petyr's mother Alayne (or perhaps Petyr's father's mother), cuckolding her husband and impregnating her with Petyr (or Lord Baelish)?
Note that Quellon was a direct, analogous contemporary to Petyr's 'father': Both are said to have fought for the Targaryens in the War of the Ninepenny Kings.

The Mockingbird & The Cuckolding Cowbird

Here we must consider that Petyr's sigil is the mockingbird, and that certain species of mockingbirds (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-tailed_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chilean_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-banded_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalk-browed_mockingbird) are well-known as hosts for the [brood parasitism] of certain [cowbirds]. That is, it is well-known that mockingbirds frequently care for the eggs of cowbirds and feed the hatched chicks of cowbirds as if they were their own offspring.
In short, mockingbirds accept being cuckolded.
Recall here that the men of Pyke greeted Theon with "bovine [as in cow, as in the cowbirds that cuckold mockingbirds] eyes", and that the o.g. brood parasites are cuckoo birds, from whence we derive our term "cuckolding".
Recall, too, that the Greyjoy banner over Pyke weirdly takes on the appearance of a bird during Theon's homecoming, which I've just spent 10 posts comparing to Petyr's homecoming:

Above the Sea Tower snapped his father's banner. The Myraham was too far off for Theon to see more than the cloth itself, but he knew the device it bore: the golden kraken of House Greyjoy, arms writhing and reaching against a black field. The banner streamed from an iron mast, shivering and twisting as the wind gusted, like a bird struggling to take flight.

Thus the possibility that Petyr's nominal "father" Lord Baelish (or Petyr's nominal paternal "grandfather") was cuckolded by Quellon Greyjoy, the Hoare-esque sperm cannon from the land of cowbird-evoking "bovine eyes", whose sigil is likened to a bird, is right there in his mockingbird sigil.
Indeed, I very much wonder whether we're not told all about the super-pollinator Garth Greenhand in part as a 'rhyming' hint that Quellon Greyjoy was a super-pollinator who spread his "seed" amongst the ladies of what the ironborn call the "green lands".

The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo

The notion that Petyr's mockingbird sigil may nod to Petyr's supposed father (or supposed paternal grandfather) getting cuckolded by Quellon Greyjoy reminds me of a song brought to my attention by MaxPayload: The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo was recorded in the 1930s by at least two acts, including the British movie star [Gracie Fields] — the highest paid film actress in the world c. 1937 — and an act called "The Two Gilberts".
[HERE] is a link to the Fields version.
To say the lyrics of the song remind me of Littlefinger's story is if anything an understatement, beginning with the opening image of "a lovesick youth and maiden":

A lovesick youth and maiden (down on the farm)
With hearts so heavy laden (down on the farm)
They held each other's hands and looked into each other's eye
And started to tell each other lies

To say the least, Littlefinger is closely identified with being a lovesick youth and with lying (including about his sexploits with the sisters Tully). And notably, he and Sansa practically begin their relationship by agreeing to lie about her being his daughter. (Sansa's heart is notably 'heavy laden' when this happens upon arrival at Littlefinger's tower — and sheep farm.)
Regarding the "down on the farm" setting, ASOIAF makes regular reference to the bountiful crops and rich farmlands of the Tullys' Riverlands, and we see the courtyards of Riverrun "teem[ing] with… cows, sheep, and chickens" in ACOK Catelyn V.
The song continues with a first kiss "by the cowshed door" (recalling that we're told that Petyr's estate has "a sheepfold"):

He kissed her by the cowshed door
She said "I've not been kissed before"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

Petyr was, of course, Lysa's first kiss, and probably Catelyn's as well, as well as Lysa's first fuck (regarding which, rest assured that the song gets deep into sexual double-entendre soon enough):

[O]ver there, beneath that bower, she and Lysa had played at kissing with Petyr.
She had not thought of that in years. How young they all had been—she no older than Sansa, Lysa younger than Arya, and Petyr younger still, yet eager. The girls had traded him between them, serious and giggling by turns. It came back to her so vividly she could almost feel his sweaty fingers on her shoulders and taste the mint on his breath. There was always mint growing in the godswood, and Petyr had liked to chew it. He had been such a bold little boy, always in trouble. "He tried to put his tongue in my mouth," Catelyn had confessed to her sister afterward, when they were alone. "He did with me too," Lysa had whispered, shy and breathless. "I liked it." (AGOT Catelyn XI)
"Petyr's breath is always fresh … he was the first man I ever kissed, you know." -Lysa (ASOS Sansa VI)

Next we see the maiden tease the eager "lovesick youth", as Cat ostensibly teased Petyr:

He said "My love I'll swear to you"
She said "I'll smack you if you do"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly, said "Oh how you tease me"
"I'm so shy, I'm so shy, when you start to squeeze me"
He said "Come tell me pretty miss"
"Where did you learn to squeeze and kiss"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

I'd heard the name "Nellie Bly" before in the version of Frankie & Johnny recorded by the legendary father of country music, [Jimmie Rodgers], so hearing it again made me look it up. It turns out the name in both songs was borrowed from [a world-famous American journalist]. (Recall that GRRM went to school for journalism.)
The real Nellie Bly first became famous for writing an expose of conditions in a lunatic asylum for women in New York City. Her fame redoubled after she traveled around the world in 1889. She went on to write pulp serial novels and — notably, given Petyr's apparent designs on Sansa — to wed a much older millionaire man named . . . (wait for it) . . . "Seaman".
(Obviously "Seaman" resonates with the idea that Petyr is ironborn, with the sea in his eyes, and with the sperm-whale like "blowhole" on Petyr's lands, which recalls Theon's foregrounded semen from ACOK Theon I. It likewise suggests a reading of the song per which an older "Seaman" is seducing the "Nellie Bly". Could this presage Quellon seducing original Alayne, who I happen to believe has very intrepid genes herself?)
Anyway, back in the song, things take a "dark" turn:

She said "I love the twilight," down on the farm
Said he, "The dark is my light," down on the farm

My original Hoare-ish Littlefinger series highlighted various ways in which Petyr Baelish is Satan/Lucifedemon-coded, so the lovesick boy saying "The dark is my light" absolutely leaps out to me.
Especially because the couplet it's part of smells like it may well have informed a certain infamous exchange:

"Are you the Sword of the Morning now?"
"No. Men call me Darkstar, and I am of the night." (AFFC The Queenmaker)

Consider that the Sword of the Morning wields dawn, which colloquially coincides with (the maiden's preferred) morning "twilight", while we are clearly supposed to suspect that "Darkstar" (who is "of the night" a la the lovesick boy) — who is for some reason "the most dangerous man in Dorne" and who apparently resembles a "Dragonlord" — was sired by Aerys during his 270 visit to Dorne, with Aerys cuckolding, presumably, a man of House Dayne. (AFFC The Princess in the Tower; The Queenmaker) Note the double-entendre of laying pipe here — life-giving, fertilizing pipe, no less:

In 270 AC, during a visit to Sunspear, he told the Princess of Dorne that he would "make the Dornish deserts bloom" by digging a great underground canal beneath the mountains to bring water down from the rainwood. (TWOIAF)

There's a clear symmetry between the notion that Aeyrs cuckolded a Dayne to produce Darkstar and the idea that the noted Aerys-supporter and loyalist Quellon Greyjoy cuckolded a war hero small lord on the Fingers to produce Littlefinger. Doubly so if Littlefinger's mother was (as I have speculated elsewhere) the daughter of Duncan "the Small" Targaryen, Prince of Dragonflies.
If that couplet (in a song that otherwise smells Littlefingerian) reminds us of Darkstar, isn't it curious that the basic structure of Darkstar's implied origin (in the cuckolding of a small lord by a far greater lord) may (also/instead?) apply to Littlefinger's origin?
Back to The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo. The next line reads like a reference to Lysa's opinion of Petyr:

Said she "You seem to big and brave and mighty strong to me."

Compare with Lysa's very personal opinion of Petyr:

"He may not look as tall or strong as some, but he is worth more than all of them." (ASOS Sansa VI)

The song's next line is wild given Petyr and Lysa's history with moon tea (a tea brewed with certain plants not used in ordinary tea) and especially my conviction that [Petyr dosed Sansa with moon tea] during their voyage on the Merling King so as to make sure she was not pregnant with Tyrion's child:

Said he "Yes, I had onions for my tea."

(By the way, onions in ASOIAF are of course all about Davos. And who do I think Davos is? A possible Hoare-son or Quellon-son, and the Sailor's Wife's sailor, i.e. a sailor who sired a child and abandoned the mother, as, perhaps, Quellon sired Petyr on original-Alayne before leaving her to raise him on the Smallest Finger. Surely coincidence . . . unless this strange, weird old song has been informing George's Song since the mid-1990s.)
The lyrics continue with more Catelyn-esque teasing:

He said "I love you, yes I do"
She said to him "Oh yeah, says you?"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
He said "You're sweet beyond belief!"
Said she "You said it! OK, chief!"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

The lovesick boy is then encouraged to "walk 'round the houses"—

Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly, said "Walk 'round the houses"

—which 'just so happens' to recall rather closely Petyr and Sansa's sight-seeing tour of his lands, when "Petyr walked with her around his holdings", which include not just houses, but a symbolic sperm cannon and a reminder that foreigners sometimes land on these shores:

When the rains let up, Petyr walked with her around his holdings, which took less than half a day. He owned a lot of rocks, just as he had said. There was one place where the tide came jetting up out of a blowhole to shoot thirty feet into the air, and another where someone had chiseled the seven-pointed star of the new gods upon a boulder. Petyr said that marked one of the places the Andals had landed, when they came across the sea to wrest the Vale from the First Men.
Farther inland a dozen families lived in huts of piled stone beside a peat bog.

The song then references farm work and (via double-entendre) sex:

"Just while I, just while I go and milk the cowses"

Milk cows are, of course, linked to wet nursing and babies. And remember: It's cowbirds who make like cuckoos and cuckold mockingbirds.
The double-entendre gradually becomes obvious:

As they sat 'neath the stars above
She says to him "Oh, what is love?
And the mockingbird went hee-haw and the donkey went cuckoo [note the reversal!]
Well she sat there and milked the cow [lol]
"I'll do my bit" said he, "and how!" [lmao]
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
He found an old three-legged stool
And sat right down to milk the bull [come on!]
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

A milked bull? Quellon's son Victarion is linkened to a bull. Was Victarion's sire "milked" of his "seed" by Alayne Baelish? Did Quellon not only marry a woman of House Stonetree, but bone a woman wed to a man whose sigil was a "stone head"?
Regarding that "three-legged stool", recall that the dragon must have three heads, that a cuckolder turns a partnership into a three-legged affair, so to speak, and that a man with a large penis (see: "Littlefinger"?) is sometimes said to have [a third leg].
From there the song grows only more suspicious as potential inspiration, as it makes explicit reference to concealed paternity, and implicitly to an improper sexual relationship involving a "father" (which see Littlefinger and "Alayne"):

Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly went all in a lather
Began to cry, shouting "Why, that's the cow's father!"
He turned white and looked surprised
Then to the bull apologized
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

The closing line about apologizing to the bull resonates with Petyr's dealings with Hoster, and perhaps with cuckoldry as well, as a trespass against patriarchal rights of possession over a woman.
The foregoing represents the seemingly better known Gracie Fields version. [The Two Gilberts version] is mostly the same, save for a few passages in the middle.
Sidebar: Regarding "The Two Gilberts", there 'just so happens' to be exactly two Gilberts in the ASOIAF canon.
One of ASOIAF's two Gilberts 'just so happens' to be one of the legendary scions of legendary sperm cannon and possibly Quellon Greyjoy analogue Garth Greenhand, Gilbert of the Vines, who 'just so happens' to be responsible for all that good Arbor wine Petyr loves so.
The other Gilbert is Gilbert Farring, who Stannis tells us "holds Storm's End for me". (ASOS Davos IV) Repeating that: ASOIAF'S second Gilbert "holds" something that belongs to Stannis in lieu of Stannis holding it himself. Almost like he's cuckolding him.
There are two other Farrings (like Gilbert) in the canon. One is Godry, "the Giantslayer", which sounds like something one might nickname a guy who cuckolded a guy with the Titan of Braavos on his shield. The other is Annara Farring. She was Lord Frey's seventh wife, and guess what she 'just so happens' to be known for? If you said "cuckolding her lordly husband", congratulations. And guess how we're told that? Via, of all things under the sun, a milk cow analogy:

[Black Walder had] had Edwyn's wife too, that was common knowledge, Fair Walda had been known to slip into his bed from time to time, and some even said he'd known the seventh Lady Frey [Annara Farring] a deal better than he should have. Small wonder he refused to marry. Why buy a cow when there were udders all around begging to be milked? (ASOS Epilogue)

(It was at this point that I went from "Maybe George has heard this song" to "George is 100% familiar with this song.")
End Sidebar
Right after the line about the onion tea, The Two Gilberts version sees the lovesick boy promise riches and wealth, recalling Petyr's lifelong interest in making money:

He said "I'll buy you furs and gems"
"And all the pretty thees[?] and thems[?]"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

CONTINUED & CONCLUDED IN OLDEST REPLY, BELOW or HERE

This post is the last post in a series looking at the massive amount of 'rhyming' recursivity I believe exists between (a) the homecoming of Petyr Baelish to the Fingers and (b) the homecoming of Theon Greyjoy to Pyke.
While this series/post can be read simply as a study 'for its own sake' of the curious recursion between these storylines, it is my belief that the 'rhyming' explored here between the stories of Petyr and Theon may exist (at least in part) to foreshadow that, like Theon, Petyr Littlefinger, is (among other things) a scion of ironborn kings, because Petyr is Hoare-ish: I.e. because Petyr's blood is (in some part) the blood of the ironborn kings of House Hoare of Orkmont and, later, Harrenhal.
This post is also post 25 of 25 in my broader series on the topic of a Hoare-ish Littlefinger, which is indexed [HERE].
Even if I'm wrong about Littlefinger's lineage, the 'rhyming' recursivity between the homecomings of Theon and Petyr detailed in this series remains, and certainly merits attention.
NOTE: In what follows, all uncited quotes are from ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Petyr's homecoming to his "Drearfort" tower of the 'Smallest Finger', or ACOK Theon I, which describes Theon's homecoming to "drear" Pyke.
As in past posts, I sometimes use "→" as shorthand for "'prefigures' and/or 'informs' and/or 'is reworked by' and/or 'finds a recursive rhyme in'.
As in: ACOK Theon I → ASOS Sansa VI.
This post picks up straight-away from where Part 9 left off. You can read Part 9 [HERE].
If you want to begin at the beginning, Part 1 is [HERE].

Aeron & Oswell

After Theon's homecoming chapter opens with Theon thinking "There was no safe anchorage at Pyke", which is copied nearly verbatim during Petyr's homecoming with Sansa, we see Theon anticipating his first glimpse of Pyke castle, and read this sentence:

Theon drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray, and looked for home.

That line proves to be a key part of a pun-tastic 'rhyme' between (a) Theon coming ashore from the Myraham and meeting Aeron and (b) Sansa coming ashore from the Merling King with the aid of Oswell.
I'll explain.
Note first that Oswell, who is…

…tall and gangling, with long white hair and a great hooked nose, with eyes shaded by a cowl [like a monk's cowl!]… (ACOK Theon V)

—clearly 'rhymes' with Aeron, an ascetic priest (see Oswell's monk-ish cowl) who is…

Tall and thin, with… a beak of a nose… [and] ropes of dried seaweed were braided through his waist-long black hair and untrimmed beard.

They're set up as yin and yang: Tall and similarly built with notable noses and long hair… but one has "long white hair", the other "long black hair", and Aeron has an "untrimmed beard" while Oswell is clean-shaven.
Aeron's beard is not simply a beard, though, but a beard with seaweed in it, which 'rhymes' with Oswell being not simply clean-shaven, but clean-shaven in a sea-faring way, as his "windburnt face"—

She studied the old man's lined windburnt face, hook nose, white hair, and huge knuckly hands. (ASOS Sansa VI)

—prefigures the "wind-chafed skin" of Aeron's niece Asha, which is tagged as typical of the sea-faring ironborn—

Ironborn, he knew at a glance; lean and long-legged, with… wind-chafed skin, strong sure hands….

—as are her notably "strong sure hands", which similarly 'rhyme' with Oswell's notably "huge knuckly hands".
SIDEBAR: As for Aeron's robes here being "green and grey" ("and blue"), this underlines that Petyr's oft-mentioned "grey-green" eyes are like the sea, which (as I've mentioned in previous posts) suggests per Archmaester Haereg's maxim—

"You may dress an ironman in silks and velvets, teach him to read and write and give him books, instruct him in chivalry and courtesy and the mysteries of the Faith… but when you look into his eyes, the sea will still be there, cold and grey and cruel." (TWOIAF)

—that Littlefinger is, at least in part, an ironman.
END SIDEBAR
The first thing we're told about Aeron after Theon realizes who he is is that "he washed up safe on shore"—

A memory prodded at Theon. In one of his rare curt letters, Lord Balon had written of his youngest brother going down in a storm, and turning holy when he washed up safe on shore. "Uncle Aeron?" he said doubtfully.

—which prefigures Oswell splashing his way ashore at the Smallest Finger:

Oswell and Lothor splashed their way ashore, as did Littlefinger himself.

(If Oswell is Aeron-ish, surely Petyr making like Oswell and splashing about in the surf here could foreshadow that he is Hoare-ish. And perhaps some kind of religious figure as well.)

Drawn Up Hoods

With that Oswell/Aeron 'rhyme' in mind, consider again that, as Theon approaches castle Pyke on the Myraham…

Theon drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray, and looked for home.

Sound familiar? That's because it's reworked when Sansa is rowed ashore by the "gangling", Aeron-esque Oswell:

Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore. Sansa huddled in the bow under her cloak with the hood drawn up against the wind….

When Sansa gets to shore, "two old men" help to make sure she doesn't get even a little bit wet—

The two old men waded out up to their thighs to lift Sansa from the boat so she would not get her skirts wet.

—which was, of course, exactly the thing Theon was trying to avoid back in ACOK when he "drew the hood of his cloak up against the spray", as Sansa drew hers "up against the wind" when Oswell rowed her in.

Gangplank → Gangling.

GRRM is just warming up. When Theon reaches Lordsport and disembarks from the Myraham, he, too, avoids getting wet. At least initially. Where Sansa uses "gangling" Oswell to come ashore, Theon uses… a "gangplank":

Without waiting for a reply [from Myraham's captain], he strode down the gangplank. "Innkeeper," he barked. "I require a horse".

Kneeling Servants

The innkeeper never gets Theon his horse, of course (of course), because Aeron shows up. And what does gangling white-haired Oswell's black-haired physical mirror Aeron do? He makes Theon get wet after all.

"Kneel."
The ground was all stones[!] and mud. "Uncle, I—"
"Kneel. Or are you too proud now, a lordling of the green lands come among us?"
Theon knelt. He had a purpose here, and might need Aeron's help to achieve it. A crown was worth a little mud and horseshit on his breeches, he supposed.
"Bow your head." Lifting the skin, his uncle pulled the cork and directed a thin stream of seawater down upon Theon's head. It drenched his hair and ran over his forehead into his eyes. Sheets washed down his cheeks, and a finger crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine. The salt made his eyes burn, until it was all he could do not to cry out. He could taste the ocean on his lips. "Let Theon your servant be born again from the sea, as you were," Aeron Greyjoy intoned. "Bless him with salt, bless him with stone, bless him with steel."

Note that Theon kneeling on "stones and mud… and horseshit" before a priest with "seaweed" in his beard is reworked even as Oswell rows Sansa ashore and she huddles in her cloak like Theon, when the Baelish household kneels on rocks covered by nasty seaweed and Sansa dodges sheepshit:

Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore. Sansa huddled in the bow under her cloak with the hood drawn up against the wind, wondering what awaited her. Servants emerged from the tower to meet them…. When they recognized Lord Petyr they knelt on the rocks.
[Petyr] led them up the strand over rocks slick with rotting seaweed. … Sansa had to step carefully; there were pellets [i.e. sheepshit] everywhere.

Blessings

Meanwhile, Aeron giving Theon his holy "bless[ing]" is reworked just before Sansa is rowed ashore, when Petyr asks for Sansa's "blessing" after he tells her they're not going to Winterfell and that he's going to wed Lysa:

"So silent, my lady?" said Petyr. "I was certain you would wish to give me your blessing. …"
"I . . . I pray you will have long years together, and many children, and be very happy in one another.

Sansa's reluctant acquiescence — both to giving the blessing and to going ashore and going along with Petyr's plan, which she had not anticipated — echoes Theon's reluctant acquiescence to both Aeron's blessing and Balon's plan of invasion, which he hadn't anticipated.
I suspect Littefinger was fed the line, "So silent, my lady?" before asking for Sansa's blessing as a nod to several pertinent silences in ACOK Theon I. First, the "sullen silence" of the Myraham's captain when he reluctantly acquiesces to Theon taking his would-be salt wife daughter below deck to get a blowjob; second, the "gloom of silence" between Theon and Aeron as they make the final approach to Pyke, post-blessing; and finally, Theon marking the absence of Euron's 'lady', Silence, as he sails into Lordsport:

Theon searched for his uncle Euron's Silence.

Truly, all things come round again.

Getting Wet & Staying Dry 1

But what about Aeron getting Theon pointedly wet? Aeron not only making Theon kneel but getting him wet and then riding with him to Pyke, is reworked (and reversed) not just by Oswell and Lothor rowing Sansa ashore — note the "rode" → "rowed" wordplay:

They [Aeron and Theon] rode in a gloom of silence.
Lothor and old Oswell rowed them ashore.

— and not just by Sansa being carried ashore and kept pointedly dry by two old men who were, seconds earlier, kneeling reverently on the seashore, but also by Aeron-ish Oswell helping Sansa "up" onto The Merling King from his rowboat while assuring her he won't let her fall into the sea, which he makes sure she doesn't:

The rower shipped the oars and helped Sansa to her feet. "Up now. Go on, girl, I got you." Sansa thanked him for his kindness, but received no answer but a grunt. It was much easier going up the rope ladder than it had been coming down the cliff. The oarsman Oswell followed close behind her… (ASOS Sansa V)

So: Where Oswell-ish Aeron forces Theon to kneel and then wets him down with seawater, ceremonially "drowning" him after he comes down the "gangplank", the "gangling" Aeron-ish Oswell helps Sansa "to her feet" and then "up" while promising not to let her fall in the sea, where she could drown.

Getting Wet & Staying Dry 2

Aeron forcing Theon to kneel and getting him wet before he "rode" with him to Pyke is also reworked/reversed inside Petyr's tower, when Sansa's 'other' rower Lothor protects Sansa from Marillion's rape attempt— from being (like Theon) forced to get "wet", so to speak:

"My blood is stirred. And yours, I know … there's no wench half so lusty as one bastard born. Are you wet for me?"
"I'm a maiden," she protested.
"Truly? Oh, Alayne, Alayne, my fair maid, give me the gift of your innocence.

The wetness motif is played up again:

"He put a hand on her breast, and squeezed. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes. You wouldn't want them ripped, I know. Come, sweet lady, heed your heart—"

He wants to "get [her] out of [her] wet clothes" so he can get her "wet", so to speak. But where Aeron forced Theon to "kneel" and get wet in language that suddenly reads as quite rapey and spine-chilling—

Sheets washed down his cheeks [which cheeks?], and a finger[!] crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine."

—before he "rode" with him to castle Pyke, Lothor Brune, who "rowed" Sansa ashore, keeps her safe and 'dry':

Sansa heard the soft sound of steel on leather. "Singer," a rough voice said, "best go, if you want to sing again." The light was dim, but she saw a faint glimmer of a blade.
The singer saw it too. "Find your own wench—" The knife flashed, and he cried out. "You cut me!"
"I'll do worse, if you don't go."
And quick as that, Marillion was gone. The other remained, looming over Sansa in the darkness. "Lord Petyr said watch out for you." It was Lothor Brune's voice, she realized.

Dagmer Cleftjaw → Lothor Brune

And what do you know? Oswell's rowing partner Lothor Brune is also prefigured by Theon's homecoming. Not by Aeron, but by Dagmer Cleftjaw, who Theon thinks of as he approaches Lordsport on the Myraham. In fact, there's a huge 'rhyme' between (a) Dagmer Cleftjaw and his "gut-churning scar", on the one hand, and (b) the beginning of ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Lothor Brune and Sansa's upset stomach (i.e. her churning guts) and seemingly permanently scarred psyche, on the other. I'll try to lay out now.
Consider first that as Theon approaches Lordsport on the Myraham, he goes below deck, where he thinks about Dagmer Cleftjaw (along with the sour-like-Aeron Sylas Sourmouth, who was discussed in Part 8):

As the Myraham made her way landward, Theon paced the deck restlessly, scanning the shore. He had not thought to find Lord Balon himself at quayside, but surely his father would have sent someone to meet him. Sylas Sourmouth the steward, Lord Botley, perhaps even Dagmer Cleftjaw. It would be good to look on Dagmer's hideous old face again.

We meet Dagmer in ACOK Theon III,

He smiled himself to show how it was done. It made for a hideous sight. Under a snowy white mane of hair, Dagmer Cleftjaw had the most gut-churning scar Theon had ever seen, the legacy of the longaxe that had near killed him as a boy. The blow had splintered his jaw, shattered his front teeth, and left him four lips where other men had but two. A shaggy beard covered his cheeks and neck, but the hair would not grow over the scar, so a shiny seam of puckered, twisted flesh divided his face like a crevasse through a snowfield "We could hear them singing," the old warrior said. "It was a good song, and they sang it bravely."
…Dagmer grinned more often and more broadly than Lord Balon ever had.
Ugly as it was, that smile brought back a hundred memories. Theon had seen it often as a boy, when he'd jumped a horse over a mossy wall, or flung an axe and split a target square. [More fond memories of Dagmer.]

We later learn that Dagmer is "fearsome" and a "fierce fighter" as well, despite being marked as aged by his "white mane of hair". (ADWD The King's Prize)
Dagmer's ship is named Foamdrinker, a double-entendre about ale-drinking, as he likes drinking, as well as reaving songs — especially the one a singer wrote about him:

He knew that would give Dagmer pause. A singer had made a song about the axe that cracked his jaw in half, and the old man loved to hear it. Whenever he was in his cups he would call for a reaving song, something loud and stormy that told of dead heroes and deeds of wild valor. (ACOK Theon III)

Balon puts Dagmer in Theon's reaving detachment. Theon foolishly resents this, not accepting that he is inexperienced and needs and could benefit enormously from a seasoned number two with whom he has a good relationship:

"You are to harry the Stony Shore, raiding the fishing villages and sinking any ships you chance to meet. … Aeron will accompany you, and Dagmer Cleftjaw."
…Theon felt as if he'd been slapped. He was being sent to do reaver's work, burning fishermen out of their hovels and raping their ugly daughters, and yet it seemed Lord Balon did not trust him sufficiently to do even that much. Bad enough to have to suffer the Damphair's scowls and chidings. With Dagmer Cleftjaw along as well, his command would be purely nominal. (ACOK Theon II)

Balon gives Theon Dagmer to help him, but Theon can only see it as an affront, so he tries to sideline him:

Dagmer Cleftjaw stood by the high carved prow of his longship, Foamdrinker. Theon had assigned him the task of guarding the ships; otherwise men would have called it Dagmer's victory, not his. A more prickly man might have taken that for a slight, but the Cleftjaw had only laughed. (ACOK Theon III)

That Splintery Ladder Again & Lothor's Hand Up

Now, remembering that we're introduced to Dagmer Cleftjaw while Theon is still aship en route to Pyke, consider again the first paragraph of Sansa VI, plus a bit more (which of course takes place while Petyr and Sansa are still aship en route to Petyr's Drearfort):

The ladder to the forecastle was steep and splintery, so Sansa accepted a hand up from Lothor Brune. Ser Lothor, she had to remind herself; the man had been knighted for his valor in the Battle of the Blackwater. Though no proper knight would wear those patched brown breeches and scuffed boots, nor that cracked and water-stained leather jerkin. A square-faced stocky man with a squashed nose and a mat of nappy grey hair, Brune spoke seldom. He is stronger than he looks, though. She could tell by the ease with which he lifted her, as if she weighed nothing at all. …
She had seldom ventured out on deck herself. Her little cabin was dank and cold, but Sansa had been sick for most of the voyage . . . sick with terror, sick with fever, or seasick . . . she could keep nothing down, and even sleep came hard. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw Joffrey… dying….
…Even this close to shore, the rolling of the ship made her tummy queasy.…
[Petyr] put a sympathetic arm about her shoulders. "Are you quite well? You look so pale."
"It's only my tummy. The seasickness."

We're subsequently reminded of Brune's "squashed nose" and "mat of nappy grey hair", and told of his "square jaw" and more:

With his squashed nose, square jaw, and nap of woolly grey hair, Brune could not be called comely, but he was not ugly either. … Sober, he was a quiet man, but a strong one. (AFFC Alayne II)

Recall too that Brune saves Sansa from Marillion, who tries to use her as Theon used the captain's daughter.
Having surveyed the field of (word)play, we can now see the 'rhyming':

• Where Theon goes below deck as he approaches Lordsport and thinks about Dagmer, whose jaw is (verbatim) "splintered", Sansa, with Brune's help, climbs up to the deck using a (verbatim) "splintered" ladder as she approaches the Drearfort.
  
• Where Theon spurns the 'hand up' Dagmer and his splintered jaw could have given him, "Sansa accept[s] a hand up from Lothor Brune" and climbs the "splintered" ladder.
  
• Where Theon think of the Cleftjaw, who has a "gut-churning scar", Sansa thinks about her literally churning guts — her upset "tummy".
  
• Where Theon thinks that Cleftjaw's "gut-churning scar" resulted from his being "near[ly] killed as a boy", Sansa's churning guts are related to the evident psychic scar she's suffered, which causes her to see a boy killed over and over again.
  
• Dagmer's "shattered" teeth and "splintered" jaw (and Dagmar being sent to "Torrhen's Square") → Brune's "squashed nose" and "square jaw"
  
• Where Dagmer is ironborn, and had his jaw "cracked… in half", Brune wears a "cracked and water-stained [as if from the sea]" jerkin.
  
• Dagmer's "snowy mane of white hair" → Brune's "mat of nappy grey hair"/"nap of woolly grey hair"
  
• Despite their 'old hair', Dagmer is "fierce" and "fearsome", Brune "strong".
  
• Where Dagmer's smile is "ugly" but nonetheless fills Theon with warm memories (defying its appearance), Brune, who "could not be called comely, but… was not ugly either", is "stronger than he looks".
  
• Where Dagmer "covered his cheeks and neck" with a beard but can't grow a 'proper' one due to his scar, which appears as a "seam", Brune doesn't look like a "proper knight" in his "patched… breeches" and "scuffed boots". (Note the sewing language — "seam" → "patched" — and the lexical similarity: "cheeks" → "breeches".)
  
• Both men seem to have a penchant for drink (per the implications of Sansa commenting on Brune's nature "when sober") and a foregrounded relationship with singers. (Where Dagmer loves singers and songs, Brune is in conflict with Marillion — although the deeds of "Lothor Apple-Eater" are likely sung of, like Dagmer's exploits.)
  

Thus just as the Aeron of Theon's homcoming 'rhymes' with the Oswell of Petyr's homecoming, so is Theon's Dagmer Cleftjaw reworked in the person of Petyr's Lothor Brune.
And thus everything about Petyr's homecoming continues to remind us of Theon's homecoming, which makes sense… if Petyr is likewise a scion of ironborn royalty (e.g. if he's Hoare-ish).

The End, and The Distinct Possibility That The Rhyme Between Petyr's and Theon's Homecomings Isn't (Just) About Petyr Being Hoare-ish, After All

That's it. That's all I got regarding the recursively 'rhyming' homecomings of Theon and Petyr. For me, the insane scope and depth of the 'rhyming' between Petyr's homecoming and the homcoming of a scion of ironborn kings is entirely consistent with my broader hypothesis: that the blood of ironborn kings likewise flows in the veins of Petyr Littlefinger — namely "the black blood" of House Hoare of Orkmont.
And yet . . .
It remains that notwithstanding that my Hoare-ish Littlefinger posts connected virtually everything we're told about House Hoare and its various historical kings with things we're told about Petyr Baelish, this (sub)series has detailed recursion not between Petyr and the Hoares, but between Petyr and Theon Greyjoy, who is like the Hoares in that his blood is that of ironborn kings, but who is, nonetheless, a Greyjoy.
It also remains that Theon is the grandson of Quellon Greyjoy, and that [as I show here] — or just scroll down, I'll reproduce that post in the comments — Quellon Greyjoy as described in both TWOIAF and in ASOIAF is nothing if not incredibly Hoare-esque, and not just because his policies and biography in TWOIAF 'rhyme' with the policies and biographies of various Hoare kings, but because ASOIAF proper subtly suggests he was something of a 'whore' in that AFFC makes it abundantly clear that Quellon was a prolific sperm cannon by repeating over and over that he sired nine sons we know of (on three different wives).
Recall, too, that we saw in [Part 2 of the original 'Littlefinger is Hoare-ish' series] that Petyr is in certain striking respects similar to Balon, to Euron, to Aeron, to Asha, and even to Victarion.
This all gives rise to the question: Does all the 'rhyming' between the homecomings of Theon Greyjoy and Petyr Baelish as detailed in this series 'merely' (further) hint that Petyr is (literally) Hoare-ish, and hence that he is like Theon in that he, too, is the scion of ironborn kings?
Or do all the Petyr-Greyjoy connections, coupled with Quellon's foregrounded fecundity and the presence of a barely concealed metaphor for an ocean-based sperm (whale) cannon on Petyr's estate (alongside a reminder of invaders from the sea)—

There was one place where the tide came jetting up out of a blowhole to shoot thirty feet into the air, and another where someone had chiseled the seven-pointed star of the new gods upon a boulder. Petyr said that marked one of the places the Andals had landed, when they came across the sea to wrest the Vale from the First Men.

—hint that at some point during his travels, Quellon Greyjoy bedded Petyr's mother Alayne (or perhaps Petyr's father's mother), cuckolding her husband and impregnating her with Petyr (or Lord Baelish)?
Note that Quellon was a direct, analogous contemporary to Petyr's 'father': Both are said to have fought for the Targaryens in the War of the Ninepenny Kings.

The Mockingbird & The Cuckolding Cowbird

Here we must consider that Petyr's sigil is the mockingbird, and that certain species of mockingbirds (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-tailed_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chilean_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White-banded_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northern_mockingbird and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chalk-browed_mockingbird) are well-known as hosts for the [brood parasitism] of certain [cowbirds]. That is, it is well-known that mockingbirds frequently care for the eggs of cowbirds and feed the hatched chicks of cowbirds as if they were their own offspring.
In short, mockingbirds accept being cuckolded.
Recall here that the men of Pyke greeted Theon with "bovine [as in cow, as in the cowbirds that cuckold mockingbirds] eyes", and that the o.g. brood parasites are cuckoo birds, from whence we derive our term "cuckolding".
Recall, too, that the Greyjoy banner over Pyke weirdly takes on the appearance of a bird during Theon's homecoming, which I've just spent 10 posts comparing to Petyr's homecoming:

Above the Sea Tower snapped his father's banner. The Myraham was too far off for Theon to see more than the cloth itself, but he knew the device it bore: the golden kraken of House Greyjoy, arms writhing and reaching against a black field. The banner streamed from an iron mast, shivering and twisting as the wind gusted, like a bird struggling to take flight.

Thus the possibility that Petyr's nominal "father" Lord Baelish (or Petyr's nominal paternal "grandfather") was cuckolded by Quellon Greyjoy, the Hoare-esque sperm cannon from the land of cowbird-evoking "bovine eyes", whose sigil is likened to a bird, is right there in his mockingbird sigil.
Indeed, I very much wonder whether we're not told all about the super-pollinator Garth Greenhand in part as a 'rhyming' hint that Quellon Greyjoy was a super-pollinator who spread his "seed" amongst the ladies of what the ironborn call the "green lands".

The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo

The notion that Petyr's mockingbird sigil may nod to Petyr's supposed father (or supposed paternal grandfather) getting cuckolded by Quellon Greyjoy reminds me of a song brought to my attention by MaxPayload: The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo was recorded in the 1930s by at least two acts, including the British movie star [Gracie Fields] — the highest paid film actress in the world c. 1937 — and an act called "The Two Gilberts".
To say the lyrics of the song remind me of Littlefinger's story is if anything an understatement, beginning with the opening image of "a lovesick youth and maiden":

A lovesick youth and maiden (down on the farm)
With hearts so heavy laden (down on the farm)
They held each other's hands and looked into each other's eye
And started to tell each other lies

To say the least, Littlefinger is closely identified with being a lovesick youth and with lying (including about his sexploits with the sisters Tully). And notably, he and Sansa practically begin their relationship by agreeing to lie about her being his daughter. (Sansa's heart is notably 'heavy laden' when this happens upon arrival at Littlefinger's tower — and sheep farm.)
Regarding the "down on the farm" setting, ASOIAF makes regular reference to the bountiful crops and rich farmlands of the Tullys' Riverlands, and we see the courtyards of Riverrun "teem[ing] with… cows, sheep, and chickens" in ACOK Catelyn V.
The song continues with a first kiss "by the cowshed door" (recalling that we're told that Petyr's estate has "a sheepfold"):

He kissed her by the cowshed door
She said "I've not been kissed before"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

Petyr was, of course, Lysa's first kiss, and probably Catelyn's as well, as well as Lysa's first fuck (regarding which, rest assured that the song gets deep into sexual double-entendre soon enough):

[O]ver there, beneath that bower, she and Lysa had played at kissing with Petyr.
She had not thought of that in years. How young they all had been—she no older than Sansa, Lysa younger than Arya, and Petyr younger still, yet eager. The girls had traded him between them, serious and giggling by turns. It came back to her so vividly she could almost feel his sweaty fingers on her shoulders and taste the mint on his breath. There was always mint growing in the godswood, and Petyr had liked to chew it. He had been such a bold little boy, always in trouble. "He tried to put his tongue in my mouth," Catelyn had confessed to her sister afterward, when they were alone. "He did with me too," Lysa had whispered, shy and breathless. "I liked it." (AGOT Catelyn XI)
"Petyr's breath is always fresh … he was the first man I ever kissed, you know." -Lysa (ASOS Sansa VI)

Next we see the maiden tease the eager "lovesick youth", as Cat ostensibly teased Petyr:

He said "My love I'll swear to you"
She said "I'll smack you if you do"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly, said "Oh how you tease me"
"I'm so shy, I'm so shy, when you start to squeeze me"
He said "Come tell me pretty miss"
"Where did you learn to squeeze and kiss"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

I'd heard the name "Nellie Bly" before in the version of Frankie & Johnny recorded by the legendary father of country music, [Jimmie Rodgers], so hearing it again made me look it up. It turns out the name in both songs was borrowed from [a world-famous American journalist]. (Recall that GRRM went to school for journalism.)
The real Nellie Bly first became famous for writing an expose of conditions in a lunatic asylum for women in New York City. Her fame redoubled after she traveled around the world in 1889. She went on to write pulp serial novels and — notably, given Petyr's apparent designs on Sansa — to wed a much older millionaire man named . . . (wait for it) . . . "Seaman".
(Obviously "Seaman" resonates with the idea that Petyr is ironborn, with the sea in his eyes, and with the sperm-whale like "blowhole" on Petyr's lands, which recalls Theon's foregrounded semen from ACOK Theon I. It likewise suggests a reading of the song per which an older "Seaman" is seducing the "Nellie Bly". Could this presage Quellon seducing original-Alayne, who I happen to believe has very intrepid genes herself?)
Anyway, back in the song, things take a "dark" turn:

She said "I love the twilight," down on the farm
Said he, "The dark is my light," down on the farm

My original Hoare-ish Littlefinger series highlighted various ways in which Petyr Baelish is Satan/Lucifedemon-coded, so the lovesick boy saying "The dark is my light" absolutely leaps out to me.
Especially because the couplet it's part of smells like it may well have informed a certain infamous exchange:

"Are you the Sword of the Morning now?"
"No. Men call me Darkstar, and I am of the night." (AFFC The Queenmaker)

Consider that the Sword of the Morning wields dawn, which colloquially coincides with (the maiden's preferred) morning "twilight", while we are clearly supposed to suspect that "Darkstar" (who is "of the night" a la the lovesick boy) — who is for some reason "the most dangerous man in Dorne" and who apparently resembles a "Dragonlord" — was sired by Aerys during his 270 visit to Dorne, with Aerys cuckolding, presumably, a man of House Dayne. (AFFC The Princess in the Tower; The Queenmaker) Note the double-entendre of laying pipe here — life-giving, fertilizing pipe, no less:

In 270 AC, during a visit to Sunspear, he told the Princess of Dorne that he would "make the Dornish deserts bloom" by digging a great underground canal beneath the mountains to bring water down from the rainwood. (TWOIAF)

There's a clear symmetry between the notion that Aeyrs cuckolded a Dayne to produce Darkstar and the idea that the noted Aerys-supporter and loyalist Quellon Greyjoy cuckolded a war hero small lord on the Fingers to produce Littlefinger. Doubly so if Littlefinger's mother was (as I have speculated elsewhere) the daughter of Duncan "the Small" Targaryen, Prince of Dragonflies.
If that couplet (in a song that otherwise smells Littlefingerian) reminds us of Darkstar, isn't it curious that the basic structure of Darkstar's implied origin (in the cuckolding of a small lord by a far greater lord) may (also/instead?) apply to Littlefinger's origin?
Back to The Mocking Bird Went Cuckoo. The next line reads like a reference to Lysa's opinion of Petyr:

Said she "You seem to big and brave and mighty strong to me."

Compare with Lysa's very personal opinion of Petyr:

"He may not look as tall or strong as some, but he is worth more than all of them." (ASOS Sansa VI)

The song's next line is wild given Petyr and Lysa's history with moon tea (a tea brewed with certain plants not used in ordinary tea) and especially my conviction that [Petyr dosed Sansa with moon tea] during their voyage on the Merling King so as to make sure she was not pregnant with Tyrion's child:

Said he "Yes, I had onions for my tea."

(By the way, onions in ASOIAF are of course all about Davos. And who do I think Davos is? A possible Hoare-son or Quellon-son, and the Sailor's Wife's sailor, i.e. a sailor who sired a child and abandoned the mother, as, perhaps, Quellon sired Petyr on Alayne before leaving her to raise him on the Smallest Finger. Surely coincidence . . . unless this strange, weird old song has been informing George's Song since the mid-1990s.)
The lyrics continue with more Catelyn-esque teasing:

He said "I love you, yes I do"
She said to him "Oh yeah, says you?"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
He said "You're sweet beyond belief!"
Said she "You said it! OK, chief!"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

The lovesick boy is then encouraged to "walk 'round the houses"—

Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly, said "Walk 'round the houses"

—which 'just so happens' to recall rather closely Petyr and Sansa's sight-seeing tour of his lands, when "Petyr walked with her around his holdings", which include not just houses, but a symbolic sperm cannon and a reminder that foreigners sometimes land on these shores:

When the rains let up, Petyr walked with her around his holdings, which took less than half a day. He owned a lot of rocks, just as he had said. There was one place where the tide came jetting up out of a blowhole to shoot thirty feet into the air, and another where someone had chiseled the seven-pointed star of the new gods upon a boulder. Petyr said that marked one of the places the Andals had landed, when they came across the sea to wrest the Vale from the First Men.
Farther inland a dozen families lived in huts of piled stone beside a peat bog.

The song then references farm work and (via double-entendre) sex:

"Just while I, just while I go and milk the cowses"

Milk cows are, of course, linked to wet nursing and babies. And remember: It's cowbirds who make like cuckoos and cuckold mockingbirds.
The double-entendre gradually becomes obvious:

As they sat 'neath the stars above
She says to him "Oh, what is love?
And the mockingbird went hee-haw and the donkey went cuckoo [note the reversal!]
Well she sat there and milked the cow [lol]
"I'll do my bit" said he, "and how!" [lmao]
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw
He found an old three-legged stool
And sat right down to milk the bull [come on!]
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

A milked bull? Quellon's son Victarion is linkened to a bull. Was Victarion's sire "milked" of his "seed" by Alayne Baelish? Did Quellon not only marry a woman of House Stonetree, but bone a woman wed to a man whose sigil was a "stone head"?
Regarding that "three-legged stool", recall that the dragon must have three heads, that a cuckolder turns a partnership into a three-legged affair, so to speak, and that a man with a large penis (see: "Littlefinger"?) is sometimes said to have [a third leg].
From there the song grows only more suspicious as potential inspiration, as it makes explicit reference to concealed paternity, and implicitly to an improper sexual relationship involving a "father" (which see Littlefinger and "Alayne"):

Nellie Bly, Nellie Bly went all in a lather
Began to cry, shouting "Why, that's the cow's father!"
He turned white and looked surprised
Then to the bull apologized
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

The closing line about apologizing to the bull resonates with Petyr's dealings with Hoster, and perhaps with cuckoldry as well, as a trespass against patriarchal rights of possession over a woman.
The foregoing represents the seemingly better known Gracie Fields version. The Two Gilberts version is mostly the same, save for a few passages in the middle.
Sidebar: Regarding "The Two Gilberts", there 'just so happens' to be exactly two Gilberts in the ASOIAF canon.
One of ASOIAF's two Gilberts 'just so happens' to be one of the legendary scions of legendary sperm cannon and possibly Quellon Greyjoy analogue Garth Greenhand, Gilbert of the Vines, who 'just so happens' to be responsible for all that good Arbor wine Petyr loves so.
The other Gilbert is Gilbert Farring, who Stannis tells us "holds Storm's End for me". (ASOS Davos IV) Repeating that: ASOIAF'S second Gilbert "holds" something that belongs to Stannis in lieu of Stannis holding it himself. Almost like he's cuckolding him.
There are two other Farrings (like Gilbert) in the canon. One is Godry, "the Giantslayer", which sounds like something one might nickname a guy who cuckolded a guy with the Titan of Braavos on his shield. The other is Annara Farring. She was Lord Frey's seventh wife, and guess what she 'just so happens' to be known for? If you said "cuckolding her lordly husband", congratulations. And guess how we're told that? Via, of all things under the sun, a milk cow analogy:

[Black Walder had] had Edwyn's wife too, that was common knowledge, Fair Walda had been known to slip into his bed from time to time, and some even said he'd known the seventh Lady Frey [Annara Farring] a deal better than he should have. Small wonder he refused to marry. Why buy a cow when there were udders all around begging to be milked? (ASOS Epilogue)

(It was at this point that I went from "Maybe George has heard this song" to "George is 100% familiar with this song.")
End Sidebar
Right after the line about the onion tea, The Two Gilberts version sees the lovesick boy promise riches and wealth, recalling Petyr's lifelong interest in making money:

He said "I'll buy you furs and gems"
"And all the pretty thees[?] and thems[?]"
And the mockingbird went cuckoo and the donkey went hee-haw

CONTINUED & CONCLUDED IN OLDEST REPLY, BELOW or HERE

Hello, First of all, I'm sorry if this isn't the right place, I'm not sure where would be better so please let me know if you do.
So I had an idea for a song I wrote many years ago and I'm just now going to record it. It's reggae genre.
What I did when I originally wrote it, was I put together a medley of some of our favorite reggae artists' song lyrics. I used lyrics from people like Peter Tosh, Pressure, Tarrus Riley, Midnite etc. I never used more than one line from a song. All of the music is original, original chord progressions, melodies etc. The idea behind this is to kind of pay tribute to some of our favorite artists.
But now that I'm going back to record it after so long, I've forgotten all the lyrics. I am debating whether to go through that same process or just write original lyrics. To me, it's just a tribute to these artists, but I could also see how it could be considered plagiarism or laziness to use other peoples' lyrics. Truth is I really don't have trouble writing lyrics, writing all original stuff isn't a problem, but I still kind of like the idea of this type of tribute where only real fans of these artists will even notice.
The first thing that tends to come to people's mind when I have brought this up (before it was removed from another sub) is that I can get sued. I don't possibly see how this could be true, if you follow that line of thinking, nobody could ever say "I am happy" in a song because Gorillaz already said it. Of course if I was copying melodies and progressions that would be a different issue. But I don't think people can be sued for saying a line someone else said before. But if I'm wrong and you're familiar with this law, please let me know.
Anyways, just seeing what people think...should I stick with the tribute type method or just write my own lyrics? Thanks!

A while ago I created an ultimate chronological list of everything that Mark, Tom and Travis created for a blink sub and just recently 'finalized it', including AvA stuff so I decided to share here a solely AvA version. With some help from you I think we can make it more complete.

Music/Audio

Albums

1. We Don't Need to Whisper (Album)
2. I-Empire (Album)
3. LOVE I & II (Double Album)
4. Dream Walker (Album)
5. Lifeforms (Album)

EPs

1. Stomping The Phantom's Brake Pedal (EP)
2. Of Nightmares (EP)
3. Chasing Shadows (EP)
4. We Don't Need To Whisper Acoustic (EP)

Other Audio

1. LOVE (Movie OST)
2. Angels & Airwaves - Hallucinations Remix
3. What A Wonderful World (L. Armstrong cover)
4. Dream Walker Demos (Demo Album)
5. Say Anything - Nibble Nibble (Song)
6. Tom DeLonge - Odds & Ends (Solo Album)
7. Ilenium - Paper Thin (Song)
8. All That's Left Is Love (Song)

​

Video - DVDs & Documentaries

Tom DeLonge

1. Buzzworthy Interview
2. Pursuit of Tone - Tom DeLonge
3. Ernie Ball - String Theory

Angels & Airwaves

1. Start The Machine (making of We Don't Need to Whisper)
2. Love The Movie
3. Poet Anderson Short Animated
4. Making Of Dream Walker
5. Monsters Of California (upcoming movie)

Other Videos

1. 2005 Promo Video
2. Start The Machine Trailer
3. Making of The Adventure Music Video
4. Making of Everything's Magic Video
5. Making of Breathe Video
6. Making of Hallucinations Video
7. Making of Secret Crowds Video
8. Making of Surrender Video
9. Making of Tunnels Video
10. Making of Anxiety Video
11. The Architect (LOVE Era beginning)
12. LOVE Movie Trailer
13. Ilan Rubin New Blood
14. 2019 Promo Video
15. Unidentified: Inside America’s U.F.O. Investigation
16. Selected interviews

​

Music Videos

Angels & Airwaves

1. The Adventure
2. The Adventure Short Film
3. It Hurts Short Film
4. Do It For Me Now
5. The War Short Film
6. The Gift Short Film
7. Everything's Magic
8. Everything's Magic Alternative
9. Secret Crowds
10. Breathe
11. Hallucinations
12. Anxiety
13. Surrender
14. Surrender Remix
15. Soul Survivor from LOVE
16. Clever Love from LOVE
17. Epic Holiday from LOVE
18. Hallucinations from LOVE
19. Diary
20. The Wolfpack
21. Tunnels
22. Rebel Girl
23. Kiss & Tell
24. All That's Left Is Love
25. Paper Thin
26. Euphoria
27. Losing My Mind
28. Spellbound

​
Selected Live Shows

1. 2006 Live Show
2. 2006 KROQ Winnie Roast
3. 2006 7th Ave Drop
4. 2007 KROQ
5. 2008 AOL Sessions
6. 2010 FUEL TV
7. 2011 Red Bull Sessions
8. 2012 Paris
9. 2012 KROQ Winnie Roast
10. 2019 House Of Blues
11. 2021 Livestream

​
Books:

1. The Lonely Astronaut On Christmas Eve
2. Poet Anderson: The Dream Walker #1-3 Comic books
3. Poet Anderson ...of Nightmares
4. Strange Times: The Curse of Superstition Mountain
5. Strange Times: The Ghost in the Girl
6. Sekret Machines: Book 1 – Chasing Shadows
7. Sekret Machines: Book 2 – A Fire Within
8. Sekret Machines: Gods
9. Sekret Machines: Man
10. Cathedrals of Glass: A Planet of Blood and Ice
11. Cathedrals of Glass: Valkrys Wakes
12. Who Here Knows Who Took My Clothes?

About 10 days ago my gf broke up with me after a beautiful relationship that lasted 2.5 years, we were one of those "goals" couples.
In a nutshell, we were fighting a lot at the past months because she has avoidant attachment and I have anxious attachment. So she told me she felt she could not give me what I needed and that she felt drained. The break up was really nice though, we chatted and we both cried, we never fought and listened to each other. She told me some things that hurt me like: I love you but i dont feel in love with you, I dont know if im ready to commit to someone forever, etc... But she also told me positive things like: you are the best person I have ever known, I am gonna regret this when i get home, Listen to this song and think about me (it is a song about me teaching her how to love). We agreed to break up and I told her I would her the space she needed, that I wanted to continue the relationship but understood her decision. She told me we could talk in some time and see where were at to go on dates again or to just talk. I told her "Think about everything and when you´re ready, talk to me, I wont contact you (I made that very clear), We hugged and kissed and said goodbye in a very loving way.
Since then I am in No Contact. I have been feeling terrible but I have not been showing this in social media. I have been posting a lot of funny tweets, my new tattoo and she liked all of those tweets. I also posted some funny tik toks which she also liked.
However, recently she has been sharing songs on social media which are clearly for me to see. All of them basically say that she is happy and wants to party, which is okay. But recently she has been posting songs that seem to indicate she is mad at me, like if I were the villain. For example, she posted a song that the lyrics basically say:" I have cried for you but now i dont care about you. Now you are sad crying in your house and missing me".
This triggered me because how can she say those things when we had such a beautiful relationship and a beautiful break up? Sure, I had some attachment issues but i was NEVER mean to her. I dont think there was a villain in our relationship but if i had to choose it is more likely that it was her.
My theory is that she is feeling angry because she expected for me to be sad on social media and maybe beg her. But I have not interacted with her in any way while she is liking everything i post and watching me "live life" (which i repeat, is mostly only on social media because in reality i feel like crap).
I think that if she felt I was sad, I don't think she would be mean enough to post lyrics like that and make me feel more like crap. I also think she is trying to convince herself she made the right decision by creating scenarios in her head that I was a bad guy.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
Honestly, I really want to get back with her. As i understood she told me she would speak to me 2 weeks after the break up and i cant wait for it to happen. (for bad or good). So I sometimes get desperate and think about breaking no contact.
Ps. She has not erased our pictured on Instagram and literally the day before she broke up with me, she was sending me cute tik toks.

About 10 days ago my gf broke up with me after a beautiful relationship that lasted 2.5 years, we were one of those "goals" couples.
In a nutshell, we were fighting a lot at the past months because she has avoidant attachment and I have anxious attachment. So she told me she felt she could not give me what I needed and that she felt drained. The break up was really nice though, we chatted and we both cried, we never fought and listened to each other. She told me some things that hurt me like: I love you but i dont feel in love with you, I dont know if im ready to commit to someone forever, etc... But she also told me positive things like: you are the best person I have ever known, I am gonna regret this when i get home, Listen to this song and think about me (it is a song about me teaching her how to love). We agreed to break up and I told her I would her the space she needed, that I wanted to continue the relationship but understood her decision. She told me we could talk in some time and see where were at to go on dates again or to just talk. I told her "Think about everything and when you´re ready, talk to me, I wont contact you (I made that very clear), We hugged and kissed and said goodbye in a very loving way.
Since then I am in No Contact. I have been feeling terrible but I have not been showing this in social media. I have been posting a lot of funny tweets, my new tattoo and she liked all of those tweets. I also posted some funny tik toks which she also liked.
However, recently she has been sharing songs on social media which are clearly for me to see. All of them basically say that she is happy and wants to party, which is okay. But recently she has been posting songs that seem to indicate she is mad at me, like if I were the villain. For example, she posted a song that the lyrics basically say:" I have cried for you but now i dont care about you. Now you are sad crying in your house and missing me".
This triggered me because how can she say those things when we had such a beautiful relationship and a beautiful break up? Sure, I had some attachment issues but i was NEVER mean to her. I dont think there was a villain in our relationship but if i had to choose it is more likely that it was her.
My theory is that she is feeling angry because she expected for me to be sad on social media and maybe beg her. But I have not interacted with her in any way while she is liking everything i post and watching me "live life" (which i repeat, is mostly only on social media because in reality i feel like crap). I think that if she felt I was sad, I don't think she would be mean enough to post lyrics like that and make me feel more like crap. I also think she is trying to convince herself she made the right decision by creating scenarios in her head that I was a bad guy.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
Honestly, I really want to get back with her. As i understood she told me she would speak to me 2 weeks after the break up and i cant wait for it to happen. (for bad or good). So I sometimes get desperate and think about breaking no contact.
Ps. She has not erased our pictured on Instagram and literally the day before she broke up with me, she was sending me cute tik toks.

All games are obtained by ME. If the game has a region lock, it will be locked to EU region.

Paypal F&F or G&S - fees on you. PRICES IN EURO

Lower rep goes first.

Googledocs https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1x939dac0XlG3tRhyYX_9Lf93usR0uqyVHPCYmB7RRys
Discount at purchase
5% @ €15-29
7% @ €30-59
10% @ €60+
12% @ €100+
15% @ €150+

Game	F&F (€EU)
112 Operator	0.30
112 Operator	0.30
2064: Read Only Memories	0.60
7 Billion Humans	4.50
911 Operator	0.30
911 Operator	0.30
A Little Golf Journey	2.50
A Long Way Down	1.00
Aeterna Noctis	4.00
After The Fall	15.00
Agent in Depth	0.20
Aground	4.00
Alchemist's Castle	0.20
APICO	7.00
Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP	0.20
Arcade Spirits	0.20
Arise: A Simple Story	2.50
Arizona Sunshine	6.00
Armello	1.20
Aviary Attorney	0.20
AWAKE - Definitive Edition	0.20
Baba Is You	5.00
Back 4 Blood	9.00
Backbone	0.20
Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition	2.00
Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition	2.00
Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition	1.00
Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition	2.00
Baldur's Gate: Faces of Good and Evil	1.00
Baldur's Gate: Siege of Dragonspear	2.00
Batora: Lost Haven	2.00
BattleGroupVR	1.00
Bean Stalker	2.00
Beasts of Maravilla Island	2.00
Beat Hazard 3	6.00
Ben 10: Power Trip	1.50
Bionic Commando	0.20
Blade of Darkness	3.00
Blaston	1.00
Breathedge	2.50
Broken Age	0.20
Calico	0.20
Calico	0.20
Call of the Sea	1.00
Car Mechanic Simulator VR	1.50
Cats and the Other Lives	0.50
Cave Digger 2: Dig Harder	2.00
CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience	1.50
Chivalry: Medieval Warfare	1.50
Click and Slay	0.20
Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues	0.50
Combat Tested	1.00
Control Ultimate Edition	6.00
Cook-Out	1.00
Corridor Z	0.10
Crash Drive 2	1.00
Creaks	1.00
Cris Tales	0.50
Crying Suns	0.50
Cube Escape Collection	2.50
Dagon - The Eldritch Box DLC	0.10
Dark Deity	1.50
DARQ	1.00
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition	-
Death and Taxes	2.50
Death Squared	0.20
Desolate	0.50
Detached: Non-VR Edition	0.50
Devil May Cry 5 + Vergil	6.00
Devil May Cry HD Collection	6.00
Disaster Band	3.00
DmC Devil May Cry	3.00
DOOM 64	1.00
DOOM VFR	3.00
Doughlings: Arcade	0.50
Doughlings: Invasion	0.20
Draw Slasher	0.10
Drawful 2	0.10
Dread Delusion	4.00
Dreamscaper	1.50
Driftland: The Magic Revival	0.10
Epistory - Typing Chronicles	0.80
Eternal Threads	3.50
Euro Truck Simulator 2	5.00
Evan's Remains	0.10
EXAPUNKS	1.00
Expeditions: Viking	1.50
Explosionade	0.20
Farming Simulator 17	2.00
Fast & Furious: Spy Racers Rise of SH1FT3R	1.50
Field of Glory II	1.00
Flynn: Son of Crimson	1.50
Forgive me Father	1.00
Forgotton Anne	7.00
Frick, Inc.	3.00
From Space	4.00
fsongs	0.20
Fury Unleashed	0.50
GameGuru Classic	-
Gauntlet - Necromancer	-
Gauntlet Slayer Edition + DLC Necromancer	1.50
Ghostrunner	5.00
Gift of Parthax	0.20
Gigantosaurus The Game	1.20
Go Home Dinosaurs!	0.20
Golf Gang	0.50
Gotham Knights	15.00
GRAVEN	5.00
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload	0.40
Guns & Fishes	0.20
Hack 'n' Slash + Soundtrack (& Spacebase GIFT)	0.20
Hacknet	0.50
Hamilton's Great Adventure	0.10
Harmony's Odyssey	0.50
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice	4.00
Homeworld Remastered Collection	1.00
Human Resource Machine	5.00
Hyper Gunsport	0.50
Hypnospace Outlaw	3.00
ibb & obb - Best Friends Forever Double Pack	2.00
Ice Age: Scrat's Nutty Adventure	4.50
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition	1.00
Impaler	1.50
Indivisible	2.00
Influent	2.50
Into the Pit	1.00
Into the Radius VR	7.00
Izmir: An Independence Simulator	0.20
Jumanji: The Video Game	1.50
Just Die Already	1.00
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition	4.00
King and Assassins	0.20
Kingdom Two Crowns	2.50
Labyrinthine	4.00
Lair of the Clockwork God	1.00
Lake	2.00
Last Resort Island	0.50
Learn Japanese To Survive - Hiragana Battle	0.40
Learn Japanese To Survive! Kanji Combat	0.40
Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War	0.40
Learning Factory	3.50
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4	1.80
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7	2.20
LEGO Jurassic World	1.50
LEGO MARVEL Super Heroes	1.50
LEGO MARVEL Super Heroes 2	1.50
LEGO MARVEL's Avengers	1.50
LEGO The Hobbit + 3 DLCs	2.50
LEGO The Hobbit DLC 1 - The Big Little Character Pack	-
LEGO The Hobbit DLC 2 - Side Quest Character Pack	-
LEGO The Hobbit DLC 3 - The Battle Pack	-
LEGO The Lord of the Rings	2.50
Lighthouse Keeper	0.20
Little League World Series Baseball 2022	0.50
Little Orpheus	2.00
Loot River	3.00
Love Letter	0.20
Lust from Beyond: M Edition	0.50
Magicka	0.50
Maize	1.25
Marooners	0.20
Melody's Escape 2	0.70
Meow Express	0.40
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition	3.00
MirrorMoon EP	0.10
Monaco	0.50
Monument Valley	1.50
Monument Valley 2	1.50
Moon Hunters	0.20
Mordhau	5.00
Mortal Kombat 11	6.00
Mortal Shell	4.00
Mount & Blade: Warband	2.00
Murder by Numbers	0.50
MY LITTLE PONY: A Maretime Bay Adventure	10.00
Nanotale - Typing Chronicles	3.00
NecroWorm	0.20
Neverout	0.20
Neverwinter Nights: Dark Dreams of Furiae	2.50
Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons	1.00
Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast	1.00
Neverwinter Nights: Tyrants of the Moonsea	1.50
Neverwinter Nights: Wyvern Crown of Cormyr	1.00
Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford	3.50
Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition	3.50
Newt One	0.30
Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl	1.00
Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix	0.50
Nightmare Reaper	6.00
No Straight Roads: Encore Edition	4.00
Non-Stop Raiders	0.50
Orbital Racer	0.10
Orbital Racer	0.10
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale	0.10
Pandemic: The Board Game + Mutation + Roles & Events	4.00
Pathfinder: Kingmaker	4.00
Patron	2.50
PAW Patrol The Movie: Adventure City Calls	2.50
PAYDAY 2	1.00
PAYDAY 2: F*ck Cancer - Big Mike Mask	-
Perfect	0.50
Pikuniku	0.50
Pilgrims	0.30
Pill Baby	0.20
Pixplode	0.10
Pixross	0.20
Planescape: Torment: Enhanced Edition	1.50
Planet TD	0.20
PlateUp!	7.00
PLAYNE	5.00
Police Stories	1.00
Praey for the Gods	3.00
Princess Farmer	2.00
Project Arrhythmia	1.00
Project Chemistry	1.00
Propnight	2.00
Quadrata	1.50
Radio Commander	0.20
Railway Empire	1.00
Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King	1.00
Red Faction: Armageddon	0.50
Remnants of Naezith	0.30
Renowned Explorers: International Society	0.50
Rescue Party: Live!	1.50
Rise of the Slime	2.00
River City Girls	4.50
Roarr! Jurassic Edition	0.10
RPG Maker VX	0.20
RUMBLE	4.50
Rym 9000	0.10
Sable	1.50
Salt and Sanctuary	3.50
Sands of Aura	3.00
Say No! More	0.20
SCP: 5K	5.00
SHENZHEN I/O	2.50
Shing!	-
Shooty Fruity	1.00
Slinger VR	0.10
Small World 2 + Be not Afraid + Cursed + Grand Dames	2.00
Songbringer	0.30
Songs of Iron	3.00
Soul Axiom Rebooted	2.00
Soul Searching	0.20
Soulblight	0.10
Soulflow	0.20
Soundfall	4.00
Space Crew: Legendary Edition	0.50
Splendor	1.50
Stacking	0.10
StarCrossed	0.30
State of Decay 2	9.00
Staxel	2.00
Steel Rats	0.20
Stick Fight: The Game	2.00
STONE	1.50
Strange Brigade	1.50
Strange Brigade	1.50
Street Fighter V	2.50
Strider	0.50
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones	0.30
Sunlight	0.20
Superfly	0.20
SUPERHOT VR	7.00
Supraland Six Inches Under	5.00
Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon	0.20
Syberia - The World Before	4.50
SYMMETRY	0.20
System Shock 2	0.40
System Shock: Enhanced Edition	0.40
Takelings House Party	0.50
Tales of the Neon Sea	1.00
Tannenberg	1.25
Teacup	0.50
Teacup	0.50
Telefrag VR	0.10
Terra Alia	2.50
The Almost Gone	1.00
The Amazing American Circus	0.10
The Amazing American Circus	0.10
The Anacrusis	0.50
The Blackout Club	2.00
The Citadel	2.50
THE GAME OF LIFE 2	5.00
The Hong Kong Massacre	2.00
The Inner World	0.30
The LEGO Movie - Videogame	1.00
The LEGO NINJAGO Movie Video Game	2.00
The Mortuary Assistant	7.00
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf	6.00
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia	0.50
The USB Stick Found in the Grass	0.10
The Wizards - Dark Times	2.00
Them and Us	2.00
Ticket to Ride	0.50
TIS-100	2.00
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition	3.00
ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove	0.10
Trombone Champ	8.00
Turbo Golf Racing	3.50
Ultra Street Fighter IV	1.50
Until You Fall	3.00
Vagante	1.20
Vault of the Void	5.00
Verdun	1.50
Vertigo Remastered	1.50
Visage	8.00
Wanderer	1.50
Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War	2.00
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus	1.00
Warhammer: Vermintide 2	2.00
We are alright (Wszystko z nami w porządku)	0.10
West of Dead	0.30
while True: learn()	2.50
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School	1.75
Winkeltje The Little Shop	4.00
Worms Rumble	1.00
WRATH: Aeon of Ruin	1.00
Wytchwood	4.00
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack	0.20
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack	0.20
XEL	0.40
Yoku's Island Express	0.50
Yonder The Cloud Catcher Chronicles	3.00
You Can Kana	3.50
Zenith MMO	6.00
Zombie Army Trilogy	2.00
Zombie Driver HD Complete Edition	0.10

Barter
SGS flair
IGS flair

I’m the child but she’s the one slamming doors when she can’t get her way and thinking she can bully someone into getting what she wants even when it pertains to what someone else is wearing on there own body because she doesn’t like it. Has literally stolen at least $30 dollars from her daughter and much more from her other daughter. Has “borrowed” over $2000 from your youngest daughter (me) and upwards of $10,000 from your older daughter that you swore you’d pay back but never did because your financial skills are horrible. (Some of that being birthday and Christmas money I would get from my dads side of the family as a literal child, and a lot being money I gave to her as a struggling student in college living off the scholarship money I got from my full ride that I was supposed to put towards books and paying my rent in my campus apartment.) And much more from other family and friends. Jumps to threatening her 26 year old daughter with violence after simply being asked to please stop yelling at her. (She threatened to smack me in the face then held her hands up to my face and clapped right in front of it to scare me.) Has no emotional intelligence and is constantly embarrassing anyone around her by cussing out strangers to their face that make her mad. (She called my ex boyfriend’s mom the B word on the phone with her in highschool because the mom accused her of being racist towards Arabic people (which she is and is also against latino people and African people and has called them monkeys and apes.) She is deeply colorist and said to my beautiful dark skin sister AS A CHILD that she “wished she was more lightskin like me.” and while I’m on a role let’s talk about how when I was 17 she pushed me into a wall and started attacking me then when I was able to escape to the bathroom and lock the door she threatened to throw my laptop into water (that my dad had bought me and they’re divorced) unless I came out and let her abuse me some more. She would constantly hit me in the face if I would “talk back” to the point that as an 18 year old I actually sat in the back seat of the car at times just so I wouldn’t be in reaching distance if she was in one of her moods. She also the same year sold me guitar without me knowing (that again my divorced dad bought for me, not her) to the pawn shop because she needed the money. I opened the guitar case one day wanting to practice a song and to my shock found it filled with some stuffed animals instead of my guitar only then did she tell me she sold it. I didn’t know this until years later but apparently my older sister had actually given her money to buy the guitar back from the pawn shop and apparently she spent it on whatever else and I never saw my guitar again. All this while she was getting child support from my dad so I’m not sure where all the money was going. And y’all may ask why I never bring this up with her or try to fix things. When I have she has one of two responses. Recently if I ever bring up why I don’t want to talk to her or how she’s caused me trauma she’ll mock me and say “oh boo hoo you were abused cry me a river” and will say that I’m lying and that she never did those things when I literally have trauma nightmares of her abusing me. Not from anyone else in this world, just her. That can’t be a coincidence. The other response I used to get when I was in college and refused to visit her for long periods of time is that she’ll start crying and say that I’m gonna regret all of this and feel real guilty when she passes away and realize that I’ve been treating her wrong. These are just the highlights there’s been many more physical and verbal abuse by her but I’d be here all day. I’m by no means the perfect child I have several mental illnesses that can be tiring for me and everyone around me and I have my faults like not keeping my room clean and now that I live with her again I don’t have a room so I keep the living room messy. But the way I feel is none of that is harming anyone physically or mentally the way she has. I try to be better but it’s never enough for her. If I try to surprise her by doing all the dishes and putting them away or cleaning the bathroom we both use it’s “wow you’ve done this one time big deal you should be doing this all the time I’m not impressed” and the second I’ve not done something she wants me to it’s “you NEVER clean up you NEVER do anything” nevermind anything I’ve ever done to try and be better at cleaning etc. I pay $400 for rent and light bill every month and give her extra money whenever she claims to need it for meds she somehow can’t afford or for when she claims they’re threatening to cut off her phone nearly every month because she hasn’t paid her bill on time. Yet she treats me like I’m a second class citizen and like she can talk to me/treat me however she wants as long as I’m living under “her roof” that everyone in this family seems to be paying for except herself.

I’m not sure if this is the right place to be posting this, but I don’t know where else to go for help. I know that after I describe the events that just happened, the ones involved may come looking for me. I have decided it’s worth the risk though. I’m still pretty shaken up, but I’m going to do my best to recall everything exactly as it happened. If something similar has happened to you or anyone you know, and you could advise me what to do next, I would really appreciate it. It might actually save my life.
Last night wasn’t the first time I had been woken up by a sound coming from the wall behind my bed. It sounded like something LARGE and HEAVY sliding along the other side of the wall. It was especially odd, because I didn’t think there was anything on the other side of that wall. I thought I had heard it several nights before this one, but was never certain if I had dreamt it or not. This time though, I knew I was awake. I was lying in bed next to my husband, Jason. I had my eyes closed, while trying to fall asleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about the fight Jason and I had a couple hours before. He told me in the five years we had been married, he had never seen me like this— a complete shell of the person I once was. He told me that I had let my paranoia completely consume me. I could tell he was deeply concerned, but also frustrated with my lack of effort to dispel it. I knew that even if I was honest about what I was worrying about though, he would not understand.
I slowly sat up in bed, straining to listen for another sound. Maybe it was some kind of animal? It sounded much too large to be a raccoon though, and bears are not common in our area. As I slowly leaned in closer to the wall, my heart jolted as I heard a very loud, THUMP THUMP. It sounded like a deliberate pounding on the other side of the wall, almost as if it was trying to get my attention.
In a low whisper, I immediately called out to Jason as he slept next to me. How could he have slept through that? He didn’t even stir, so I called his name again and tried touching his shoulder. He continued to sleep like a baby. I was about to call his name one more time when I remembered that my paranoia was the main reason for our fight earlier. Would he even believe me? I sat in the dark for a few more minutes before deciding to get up and investigate myself.
As I made my way downstairs, I caught a glimpse of a photo of the two of us from our honeymoon. Although it was from only five years ago, Jason and I looked so much younger. It was probably due to the fact that we were smiling so big. I have been trying so hard to be that happy girl in the photo for him and for me, but recently, I haven’t even come close.
I decided to start my investigation of the mysterious sound with the garage, since it is located directly under our bedroom. I flipped the light on and scanned the room from wall to wall, looking for anything out of the ordinary. Everything looked the way it was supposed to. Our car was parked out on the street that night, so the garage was just a large, echoey room. Gardening tools, storage containers, cleaning supples and various pieces of sporting equipment packed the shelves along the far wall. There was also a small stockpile of food and water Jason liked to keep just in case of a disaster. Remember, being paranoid is my thing though…
I made my way over to the shelves to see if anything could have made a noise like the one I heard. As I was halfway across the garage, I heard a loud SLAM come from above me. My eyes darted up to the attic door in the ceiling and the pull string that dangled from it. The string was slowly swaying from left to right.
Great. That’s normal, right? I never realized that our bedroom shared a wall with the attic until now. I thought hard about running upstairs to get Jason’s help. That would be the most logical thing to do, but just as I was about to do that, I had this feeling. I had a very faint idea of what could be the source of the disturbance, but knew that it would defy logic. I also knew that based on the five weeks we had been together, if there was even the slightest chance that my suspicion was correct about the source of the noise, Jason would not understand— nor would he even be willing to help me deal with it. If I was going to be able to protect the both of us, I knew I had to deal with this myself.
I walked over to the attic door and grabbed the pull string. With a loud CREEEAAAAK the door slowly swung down. I grabbed the ladder attached to the door and unfolded it down to the ground. I directed my attention back up to the ceiling, and stared into the black hole that was the attic entrance.
My eyes strained to make out anything inside, while I waited for something— anything to come out of the darkness. I turned to the shelf next to me and grabbed a flashlight. After pointing it toward the black hole in the ceiling, I still couldn’t make out anything, so I contemplated my options. Less thinking, just do, Mel. I knew that if I waited any longer, my thoughts would scare me into complete paralysis, so I began to climb. With each step, the ladder let out a painful creak. This ladder was as old as the house, and I have no idea if it was ever inspected. The way it would bend under my very minimal bodyweight made me realize the very real possibility that it could give out at any time. We really need to have this thing inspected…
The black hole grew bigger and bigger with each step. I held my breath the whole time, ready for either the ladder to crumble beneath me or something to emerge from the darkness. Thankfully, neither of those things happened. Once my head breached the attic opening, I remembered to breathe, and drew in a large breath of stale, musty air.
I scanned the attic with my flashlight. It wasn’t really a room— more just a storage space between the ceiling of the garage and the roof of the house. The ceiling formed a triangle with the highest point being only five feet tall. As I slowly panned my flashlight across the space, its beam revealed various objects in storage— an old dollhouse, a large shop vacuum, a full-sized scarecrow, a snow shovel, a vintage suitcase, a pair of kayak paddles, several boxes, and lots of Christmas and Halloween decorations. The holiday decorations appeared pretty unsettling in the beam of the flashlight…probably because a lot of them had faces that were looking back at me. The witch especially gave me the creeps with her pale, green skin, hands covered in warts, and open mouth full of yellow teeth. Oh and don’t forget the random Christmas elf’s detached head just resting on top of a box with its single, beady eye reflecting back at me! Why does it only have one eye?? Why is its head not with its body?? Why do we even have this thing??
After doing a full scan of the space with my flashlight, I reached behind me to turn on the attic light. The second the light turned on, I jumped as I heard the sound of movement coming from the pile of junk in front of me. I held my breath and stared long and hard, while looking for any sign of movement. THAT WITCH BETTER NOT MOVE, I SWEAR. After a long minute of waiting, nothing had moved in the slightest.
Just as I was letting out my long awaited exhale, a loud, “BWAK BWAK BWAK,” erupted from my right side. I whipped my head around to reveal a plush toy of a chicken lying on the floor on its side.
“BWAK BWAK BWAK,” its electronic voice box cried out again. I looked around, wondering what could have caused it to go off. The floorboards beneath me creaked as I crawled my way over to the plush chicken and picked it up. I stared into its black, soulless eyes. There was something about this chicken. It felt too personal for some reason— almost like it was a taunt. Then, I heard the sound of movement coming from the pile of junk again. I looked back and could have sworn one of the objects had moved. Was it the witch? The scarecrow? I couldn’t tell for sure.
I waited several seconds before directing my attention back to the chicken. That’s when I noticed something behind it. About 4 feet up from the floor, there was a very small hole in the wall about the size of a pea. I put my eye up to it, and my stomach lurched. Through the hole, I could see right into my bedroom. I couldn’t see the bed so well, but I could make out pretty much anything at eye level. Whoever or WHATEVER was in the attic could have been watching us this whole time. From inside the bedroom, the hole was positioned just under one of the framed pictures hanging on the wall. The shadow from the frame must have concealed it all this time. I could feel my heart rate begin to drastically accelerate. I turned back to the pile of junk, since whoever or whatever was in the attic with me must be hiding somewhere in that pile.
That’s when I noticed what had changed. Earlier, the scarecrow was sitting upright with its back against a box, but now it was slumped over with one hand extended out toward me. And was it closer?? I stared at its still, faceless head hidden in shadow beneath the brim of a wide, black farmer’s hat. I looked for any sign of life in its body, which wore a red flannel shirt covered in hay and stained khaki pants with patches on the knees. I began to hyperventilate. Come on, Mel! If you have a panic attack now, you are done for!
I slowly backed away from the scarecrow until I heard a loud CRUNCH under my feet. I looked down and saw that I had stepped on an empty plastic water bottle. I gasped in horror as I noticed several other empty water bottles along with empty food cans and a pile of blankets resembling a makeshift bed. SOMEONE WAS LIVING IN OUR ATTIC.
Before I could react, I heard fast stomping coming right toward me. I looked up and saw the scarecrow LUNGING for me. I fell onto my back with my eyes closed, and braced for the inevitable. I heard the sound of movement, the creaking of the ladder, and then all was silent. My eyes slowly opened. The scarecrow had vanished.
I crawled over to the attic entrance in the floor. The garage light below had now been switched off, so the way down was nothing but a black void. I grabbed the flashlight and pointed it down into the garage. I let out a gasp as I saw the scarecrow standing directly at the bottom of the ladder facing up at me. I wanted to scream, but nothing was coming out. It stood there perfectly still…almost too still for a person to be inside of it. Was this a person?? I waited and waited until…it CHARGED at the ladder, making its way toward me.
I frantically dove toward the pile of junk and grabbed a paddle to defend myself. When I turned back to the ladder, the scarecrow was gone. There was only the rickety ladder and the black void below me. I gave myself a few seconds to catch my breath. If I was in fact dealing with what I suspected I was dealing with, I had a right to be scared out of my mind. I also knew that I couldn’t let it get to Jason first. Whatever this thing was, I had to stop it.
After taking a deep breath, I made my way down the ladder. I held my flashlight in one hand and the paddle in the other. I made sure to alternate the flashlight between the steps below me and the rest of the garage. If the scarecrow was able to knock me off the ladder, I would be done for. When my feet finally touched the concrete floor, I wanted to let out a sigh of relief, but I knew the fight was still ahead of me….or maybe behind me. It was so dark, the scarecrow really could have been anywhere.
If I could just make it to the door to the house, I knew I could flip on the light, spot the scarecrow, and charge it with everything I had. I walked as fast as I could toward the door, whipping my flashlight in all directions. I only got halfway through the garage when I heard a loud squeaking noise to my left. I knew I wasn’t getting the chance to make it to the light switch. I slowly turned my flashlight to reveal the scarecrow slumped over and sitting on an old, red Radio Flyer wagon.
This was it. I knew that the element of surprise was all I had.
I charged at it with everything inside of me. I swung the paddle again and again with all of my strength. I wouldn’t let this thing ruin the life I had worked so hard to obtain. I didn’t stop swinging until the scarecrow was completely facedown on the ground. My rage turned to fear as I slowly sensed something was off. I realized the scarecrow’s torso had become completely separated from its legs during the beating. My heart nearly stopped when I finally realized that there was nothing inside of the scarecrow but hay.
I poked its body a few times before I noticed a trail of straw leading away from it. Wherever this trail led to, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. As I followed the trail of hay with my flashlight in one hand, I shakily held my paddle in the other, ready to strike again. The trail curled away from me until it ended at A PAIR OF BARE HUMAN FEET. I let out a quiet scream as I tilted my flashlight up as fast as I could and—WHAM! I could barely make out the image of a metal baseball bat whirling toward my head before everything went black.
I woke up only a few seconds later on the garage floor with my head throbbing in pain. My vision was fuzzy, but I could see there was a shape standing in front of me. It was backlit by the light of my flashlight, which had rolled away from me. It took a few seconds for my eyes to focus on the pair of bare, dirty feet in front of me, covered in hay. As I slowly tilted my head up, I could see those feet were attached to a pair of legs wearing tattered pants. Those legs were attached to a body with two arms— one holding a metal baseball bat. The body was attached to a head, and on that head, was a face. It was exactly the face I feared I would see. It was the face of a woman with the exact same face as me— the face of Melody Bennett.
“No,” I gasped. “How did—“
Melody stared at me with rage in her eyes. Pieces of hay covered her hair.
I turned my head to the side and looked at the scarecrow’s lifeless, empty body next to me. Then, I turned and looked at Melody’s hay-covered feet.
I have to admit it now. Wearing the scarecrow as a disguise was a brilliant strategy. She really took a page from my book of deception and used it against me.
“Your life was mine,” I began to cry with eyes full of fear. “I took it from you.”
“I’m taking it back,” she declared and raised her bat high.
I tried to let out a scream, but it was too late. She was already on top of me. Whaling on me with the speed and aggression of a wild animal. She struck my head with the baseball bat again and again. With each blow, I could feel my face start to change out of the face of Melody and back into its natural form. First, my mouth morphed away, followed by my nose, and then my ears. Just as she was about to swing what would have been the killing blow, I threw my hand up and grabbed the bat. Both of us were now struggling for control of the bat. That’s when I could see my true face reflected in Melody’s eyes. My two eyes were wide and bulging, completely filled with terror. My other features were completely gone. Smooth skin was now in their place. I looked into Melody’s eyes as we struggled with the bat. This was a woman that would stop at nothing to take back her life and be rid of me. I wasn’t going to win this fight. I had to escape.
My fear somehow gave me enough adrenaline to throw her off of me. I knew I only had a second before she would be on top of me again, so I booked it out of the house as fast as I could.
I didn’t stop running until I was across the street hidden in the shadows of a neighbor’s tree. I turned back to see Melody standing in front of her house blocking any hope I had of going back there to her beautiful, lovely life— a life, which she had taken for granted until now. She had the last five weeks to think about it as she was living in the attic. All that time, she watched helplessly behind the wall of her own bedroom as I, an imposter wearing her face, tried my best to pass as her. She had all that time to watch me, study my weaknesses, and devise a plan to take her life back.
From across the street, I watched as she took in one last big breath, smelling the fresh air and appreciating the world she had once taken for granted. She slowly exhaled before walking confidently back into her house and locking me out for good.
I can’t tell you how frustrated I am that this one didn’t work out for me. I thought for sure that I had killed Melody before I had replaced her. I thought for sure that I was going to get to live in her place forever. I won’t make the same mistake again. Next time, I will make sure the person I am replacing is actually dead.
I know most of you reading this will probably think I’m just a normal person making this story up to scare you. I was counting on that. You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you that there are many like me living among you.
To those of you that are like me, please let me know if you have had a similarly frustrating experience. Besides the very obvious mistake I already mentioned, what can I do differently next time? If you have any advice or know anything else I did wrong, please tell me.
I just want to find a nice life and be happy like everyone else. Why does it have to be this difficult?

Hi All,
Back in 2019 I was enjoying singing karaoke in pubs around London. It was all a bit of fun, but I decided one day to take some singing lessons to see if I could take things a little more seriously. In the course of taking lessons with my coach he asked me if I had ever considered doing some songwriting. I said, ‘but I don’t play an instrument’. ‘No problem’ he said, just come back with some ideas and I can work out the chords with you.
What to write about? I love 60s folk, particularly Phil Ochs and Tom Paxton, and country rock like the Byrds, but I am just a surveyor in London living a pretty normal life. I couldn’t write anything like that could I? That said, being out on the road and on the trains every day means I get to meet lots of people and know London like the back of my hand. So I started writing about that…
I came back the next week with a couple of songs in my head and some lyrics. Together we gradually put together a dozen songs over the course of the next few months. The next logical step was to try and record them…
With Ian, my producers help, we got some studio time and a handful of session musicians from his local area down in Hastings on the south coast. Negotiating the pandemic and the logistics of recording bits and pieces remotely, and then finally meeting to finalise the record, we had 10 songs all recorded and ready to go.
And here it is. In all, we have 12 different musicians on the record. Many from Hastings but also with some overdubs from a fiddler from Texas and a backing singer from Virginia. The project has been frustrating and expensive, but also really enjoyable and an example of what you can do with a bit of passion and perseverance.
As a vinyl fanatic I wanted to get this pressed. As you will probably be aware, this is no easy task with the lack of capacity at pressing plants, but I now have a small run of records pressed on some cool marble red vinyl. Many of the guys on the record have never been on a record before, so this is just as cool for them as it is for me.
I am selling these on my Bandcamp page for the cost price of £12 per record in the UK (A little more to cover postage elsewhere). If you take a listen and enjoy what you hear, I would be very grateful for your patronage. The record is also available on all your usual streaming platforms and for download.
Here is the link to my Bandcamp https://alanmahon-bouquet.bandcamp.com/album/one-man-on-the-line
Thanks for giving it a listen.
Alan Mahon-Bouquet

Hi All,
Back in 2019 I was enjoying singing karaoke in pubs around London. It was all a bit of fun, but I decided one day to take some singing lessons to see if I could take things a little more seriously. In the course of taking lessons with my coach he asked me if I had ever considered doing some songwriting. I said, ‘but I don’t play an instrument’. ‘No problem’ he said, just come back with some ideas and I can work out the chords with you.
What to write about? I love 60s folk and country rock like the Byrds, but I am just a surveyor in London living a pretty normal life. I couldn’t write anything like that could I? That said, being out on the road and on the trains every day means I get to meet lots of people and know London like the back of my hand. So I started writing about that…
I came back the next week with a couple of songs in my head and some lyrics. Together we gradually put together a dozen songs over the course of the next few months. The next logical step was to try and record them…
With Ian, my producers help, we got some studio time and a handful of session musicians from his local area down in Hastings on the south coast. Negotiating the pandemic and the logistics of recording bits and pieces remotely, and then finally meeting to finalise the record, we had 10 songs all recorded and ready to go.
And here it is. In all, we have 12 different musicians on the record. Many from Hastings but also with some overdubs from a fiddler from Texas and a backing singer from Virginia. The project has been frustrating and expensive, but also really enjoyable and an example of what you can do with a bit of passion and perseverance.
As a vinyl fanatic I wanted to get this pressed. As you will probably be aware, this is no easy task with the lack of capacity at pressing plants, but I now have a small run of records pressed on some cool marble red vinyl. Many of the guys on the record have never been on a record before, so this is just as cool for them as it is for me.
I am selling these on my Bandcamp page for the cost price of £12 per record in the UK (A little more to cover postage elsewhere). If you take a listen and enjoy what you hear, I would be very grateful for your patronage. The record is also available on all your usual streaming platforms and for download.
Here is the link to my Bandcamp https://alanmahon-bouquet.bandcamp.com/album/one-man-on-the-line
Thanks for giving it a listen.
Alan Mahon-Bouquet

Hello all-american rejects, mothers of Stacy and Hoobastankarinas! It is finally time to rate one of the subgenres of all time - pop punk! Welcome to the 00s Pop Punk Rate.

Introduction - What Is Pop Punk?

Pop punk is a genre that was invented by musical artist Machine Gun Kelly in the year 2020.
No but really, despite the sendup of it MGK contributed, the subgenre actually has a long and storied history dating back to the 1970s. One could argue bands such as The Ramones were essential foundations for the genre, if not themselves being a pop punk band. A reaction to the emergence of punk in the 70s, pop punk takes the energetic thrashings of punk music and overlays the sensibilities of pop song-crafting. Pop-punk saw an explosion of popularity in the late 90s with the rise of bands such as Blink-182, Green Day and The Offspring, and arguably hit its peak in the 00s with the creation of Van’s Warped Tour, a touring music festival that featured a lineup of some of the biggest pop-punk, post-punk and metal acts of the time. Alongside its rise, it would come to incorporate elements of ska, college rock, emo and post-punk.
Another element of pop-punk that differentiates it from punk is its lyrical focus. While punk’s focus tends to be heavily political and explicitly anti-authoritarian, pop-punk trades that topical focus for poppier subjects - love, lust, drunkenness, and how much the singers truly hate this town (worth mentioning that while this is in general true, especially of more mainstream pop punk acts, there are some notable exceptions).
In discussions of subgenres of punk, pop-punk tends to be largely ignored or snidely dismissed by both pop and punk communities but I think this is unfair. Yes, its lyrical subjects are often sophomoric and steeped in teen angst. Yes, the pop focus can cause the songs to feel derivative for some punk listeners. Yes, the culture surrounding pop punk has given us moments that are unintentionally hilarious. However, there is a reason this genre gained such attention - to borrow a phrase from pop, because it slaps. It takes pop music and thrashes it around. It fills the listener with nostalgic angst with power chord after power chord. It is an ode to the immaturity of youth. It is wildly influential; you can see pop-punk’s fingerprints in tons of modern genres - emo rap, hyperpop, and even Billboard-smashing pop songs.
Pop-punk is fun and raucous and a fantastic send-up to the teenage years many of us reminisce about. Today, it gets its due. Happy rating. - u/seanderlust
If you already know the drill because you're a regular rater, feel free to get rolling with the rate. Below are links to submit, a Pastebin ballot, and playlists for both Spotify and Apple Music:
Link to send in your scores
Pastebin Ballot
Spotify Playlist │ Apple Music Playlist

The songs

1. The Academy Is... - About a Girl
   
2. Alkaline Trio - Mercy Me
   
3. The All-American Rejects - Swing, Swing
   
4. The All-American Rejects - Dirty Little Secret
   
5. The All-American Rejects - Move Along
   
6. The All-American Rejects - Gives You Hell
   
7. All Time Low - Dear Maria, Count Me In
   
8. All Time Low - Weightless
   
9. American Hi-Fi - Flavor of the Weak
   
10. blink-182 - First Date
    
11. blink-182 - The Rock Show
    
12. blink-182 - Stay Together For The Kids
    
13. blink-182 - Feeling This
    
14. blink-182 - I Miss You
    
15. Bowling For Soup - 1985
    
16. Boys Like Girls - The Great Escape
    
17. Boys Like Girls - Love Drunk
    
18. Busted - Crashed The Wedding
    
19. The Cab - One of THOSE Nights
    
20. Cute Is What We Aim For - The Curse of Curves
    
21. Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down
    
22. Every Avenue - Tell Me I'm A Wreck
    
23. Fountains Of Wayne - Stacy's Mom
    
24. Good Charlotte - The Anthem
    
25. Good Charlotte - Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous
    
26. Good Charlotte - Girls & Boys
    
27. Good Charlotte - I Just Wanna Live
    
28. Good Charlotte - I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem)
    
29. Hoobastank - The Reason
    
30. Jimmy Eat World - The Middle
    
31. Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness
    
32. Jimmy Eat World - Pain
    
33. Lustra - Scotty Doesn't Know
    
34. Marianas Trench - Cross My Heart
    
35. Mayday Parade - Jamie All Over
    
36. Mayday Parade - Jersey
    
37. Motion City Soundtrack - My Favorite Accident
    
38. Motion City Soundtrack - The Future Freaks Me Out
    
39. Motion City Soundtrack - Everything is Alright
    
40. New Found Glory - My Friends Over You
    
41. Plain White T's - Hate (I Really Don't Like You)
    
42. Plain White T's - Our Time Now
    
43. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face Down
    
44. Relient K - Be My Escape
    
45. Short Stack - Sway Sway Baby!
    
46. Simple Plan - I'm Just a Kid
    
47. Simple Plan - Perfect
    
48. Simple Plan - Welcome to My Life
    
49. Something Corporate - I Woke Up In A Car
    
50. Sugarcult - Memory
    
51. Sum 41 - Fat Lip
    
52. Sum 41 - In Too Deep
    
53. Taking Back Sunday - MakeDamnSure
    
54. Taking Back Sunday - Cute Without The 'E' (Cut From The Team)
    
55. The Used - The Taste of Ink
    
56. We The Kings - Check Yes, Juliet
    
57. Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue
    
58. Yellowcard - Only One
    
59. Yellowcard - Rough Landing, Holly
    
60. +44 - When Your Heart Stops Beating
    

BONUS

Okay, so.
The 00s pop punk era of course coincided with the rise of a number of other genres. Seeing an opportunity for a genre overlap in the interest of gaining fans from other genres, indie punk and metal label Fearless Records put out a series of compilation albums over the 00s and 10s. These CDs contained tracks of punk bands doing covers of pop, metal, and various other genres. They referred to it under the umbrella term Punk Goes… and featured such titles as Punk Goes Metal, Punk Goes 80s, and Punk Goes Crunk.
The most popular though, and the one that garnered the most subsequent albums was Punk Goes Pop. In this series, punk bands covered various pop songs that were popular at the time in punkier stylings. Think of it as Now That’s What I Call Music, but if all the songs were sung by Mayday Parade. It was an interesting idea and gained the involved punk bands attention outside of their core fanbase. I mean come on - pop?! AND punk??!! What is this, a crossover episode?
For our bonus rate, we will be rating a sample of tracks that were recorded for the Punk Goes… series. Some of these are quite good! Some of these are certainly pieces of music that musicians decided to record! But which is the best? That is for you, dear popheads, to decide.

1. Yellowcard - Everywhere
   
2. All Time Low - Umbrella
   
3. Mayday Parade - When I Grow Up
   
4. The Cab - Disturbia
   
5. Artist Vs Poet - Bad Romance
   
6. The Ready Set - Airplanes
   
7. Go Radio - Rolling In The Deep
   
8. The Downtown Fiction - Super Bass
   
9. Seaway - Closer
   

To be clear: Rating these songs is optional. You can give a score to one of them, two of them, all nine, or any number in between. You cannot use your 0 or 11 on any of them.

Rules & Instructions

PLEASE READ THESE THOROUGHLY TO AVOID HAVING TO DEAL WITH ANY PROBLEMS WITH YOUR BALLOT LATER.

• You must listen to and score every song in the main rate. Ballots with missing scores will not be accepted.
• Your scores must be on a scale from 1 to 10 and can include one decimal place but no more. So 7.3 is fine, but 7.31 is not.
• You may give one song in the whole rate a score of 11 and one other a score of 0, so if you want to award these scores, save them for your favourite and least favourite songs in the rate, respectively. You must leave a comment on the songs you give an 11 or a 0, and they must be songs from the main rate, not the bonus.
• We encourage you to leave comments of your general thoughts or reasoning behind your scores on any songs you wish. If you choose to do so however, they must be in this format, simply leaving one space after your score:

```
One Of THOSE Nights: 3 They wanna be Juicy J feat. The Weeknd soooooo bad ```
Any other formats will get your ballot rejected. WRONG EXAMPLES:
```
I Woke Up In A Car: Yeah but did you wake up in a new Bugatti? (8) (WRONG!)
The Curse Of Curves: 7: me getting a D+ on my trigonometry homework (WRONG!)
```

• Your ballot must be formatted exactly like the template in the message link, so make sure you use it, or the template in the backup pastebin, for your scores to be accepted.
• Your scores are not confidential. They will be revealed, along with any comments, with your username attached.
• DO NOT SABOTAGE the rate by giving outrageously low/high scores for the sole purpose of skewing the results, we reserve the right to exclude any ballot we suspect of this. If you're worried your scores could be mistakenly perceived as such, all you need to do is leave comments explaining the reasoning behind them.
• If you want to change any of your scores or comments after you've already submitted your ballot, feel free to message myself or my cohost u/seanderlust before the submission deadline to sort it.

The rate is Due on July 15th, if you think you need a small extension please let one of the hosts know!

Finally, here are the links you'll need to start rating:

Submission Link

If there's a problem with it, here's the backup pastebin.

And the playlists of all the songs in the rate.

• Spotify
• Apple Music (thank you akanewasright)

Enjoy!

Hello popheads, or at least the 80 of you who actively do rates, and welcome to the Alt Club Girls Rate. Now you may be wondering "King, what is alt club?" and my answer to you is: I don't know. Alt Club is kind of just a genre I made up!! But club and dance music obviously has an extensive history and it covers a whole range of sounds, and these albums all solidly fit under that umbrella. One thing (for me) that unites these albums, other than being three of my favourites from 2022, is their maximalism: Sudan, Kilo and Shygirl are all mixed media artists who have a clear creative vision for their work and these albums and eras are what they created when they were free of any societal or genre confinement.
Another thing the three of them having common is being black artists in alternative spaces, and how that reflects itself in their music. I think highlighting that they are black does a lot for representation and allowing people to see themselves in these genres, but on the flipside seeing someone only as a 'black artist' can be limiting, and these projects expertly break free of those labels and restrictions. These albums dance from genre to genre like they're going through themed rooms in a nightclub, and I'm so excited for everyone who loves them to get a chance to talk about them, and everyone who is unfamiliar to fall in love with them!
In case you don't know what the fuck is going on, we conveniently have a very helpful introduction to and explanation of what rates are and how they work, and we have a very active and lovely community in the rates discord channel in the popheads discord server who are willing to help any newcomers!! And ofc if you're already a regular here and know exactly what you're doing:
Submission Link Pastebin Ballot Spotify Playlist Apple Music Playlist

Sudan Archives - Natural Brown Prom Queen

Spotify Apple Music YouTube Tidal

If I cut my hair, hope I grow it long Back long, back time like way before If I wear it straight will they like me more? Like those girls on front covers

- Selfish Soul
One of the primary themes of Natural Brown Prom Queen is homecoming; Sudan (who now lives in LA) is originally from Cincinatti, Ohio (area code #513), and spends a lot of the album tackling the idea of feeling at home or belonging and the restlessness of feeling in between two places. On the albums lead single Home Maker she sings about how she makes her apartment and home studio feel more homely, and compares it to feeling at home with someone you love. In fact, this album was entirely crafted in that home studio over lockdown, with Sudan self producing almost the whole thing. The project is much more electronic than her previous album (the earthy Athena) but is still rooted very firmly in the same sentiments and style, and of course the same brilliant violin work that Sudan is known for woven throughout.
Another thread across the album is Sudan saying things that people are afraid to say, or doing things she might not be supposed to. Milk Me gets outrageously horny, with Sudan singing "your finger up my pussy like a honey stick" over such ethereal production that the subject matter might slip right by you. Sudan tackles her identity as a black women throughout, writing about the colorism she faces being darkskin, or about how her hair ties into her self-worth and other's perception of her on Selfish Soul. Ultimately this album is a lot about her reinventing her image and putting her blackness at the forefront.
"The highest version of myself is a ghetto fabulous girl. I can’t run away from that. It’s time to show these motherfuckers who I am. I’m from Cincinnati, baby.”

1. Home Maker
2. NBPQ (Topless)
3. Ciara
4. Selfish Soul
5. Loyal (EDD)
6. OMG BRITT
7. ChevyS10
8. Copycat (Broken Notions)
9. FLUE
10. TDLY (Homegrown Land)
11. Freakalizer
12. Homesick (Gorgeous & Arrogant)
13. Milk Me
14. Yellow Brick Road
15. #513

Kilo Kish - AMERICAN GURL

Spotify Apple music YouTube Tidal

It's so hard to come to grips like this If I wanted truth this life is it If I wanted you there goes my end

- ATTENTION POLITICIAN
If I were to sum Kilo up as an artist in one word it would be chameleon. Each body of work Kilo's put out, whether it be music, fashion or art, has been an evolution, but not along one linear path. AMERICAN GURL isn't her finale, it's just a representation of where she is at now. The album is the embodiement of a candy store or an arcade, where the album's narrative takes place, sickeningly sweet synthy chaos with deceptively dark lyrical themes of consumerism and tackling what it means to be American looming underneath. On the albums' title track she sings "In a locked box, in a locked draw, will I find me an American Girl", immediately jumping into the idea that as a black artist she doesn't identify with the idea of an 'american girl' that is presented to us, instead that her own american girl is locked up inside of her. On my personal favourite bonus track Star Power, Kilo tackles fame and trying to make it in LA, and how endless that feels. Kilo ponders the idea that in such a capatlist world we consume so many different things, when you strip that all away, what of that actually is you?
The album couldn't be more of a 180 from her debut album six years prior, Reflections in Real Time, an alternative r&b and indie album that is equal parts manifesto and intimate diary. Where in her previous work she opted for minimalism, now is the time for all out maximalism. The use of bright, campy consumerism and Americanism allows Kilo to reflect on fears that are both unanimous and extremely personal: Am I pretty enough? Am I good enough? Why can't I do what somebody else is doing?
"That's the theme of American Gurl — exploring that I am a product of my environment and these are the things that have been put on me in this time so far."

1. AMERICAN GURL
2. DEATH FANTASY
3. DISTRACTIONS III: SPOILED ROTTEN
4. NO APOLOGY!
5. BLOODY FUTURE
6. CHOICE COWBOY
7. ATTENTION POLITICIAN
8. NEW TRICKS: ART, AESTHETICS AND MONEY
9. TV BABY V.2 (LATCH KEY MARCH)
10. ON THE OUTSIDE (JUSTIN'S SONG)
11. SUPER KO LOVE
12. INTELLIGENT DESIGN
13. GOOD MONEY?
14. NOT YOUR ACCESSORY
15. STAR POWER: LA NIGHTMARES
16. INCREDIBLE WORLD

Shygirl - Nymph

Spotify Apple music YouTube Tidal

Yeah it's you that I'm thinking of when I'm feelin' hot Your voice dripping like honey straight from the honey pot Don't stop running on my mind, I can't get enough Is it so bad to just like to be touched?

- Shlut
Nymph is actually a very different debut from Shygirl than what we could've got - she more or less made a record over lockdown, in a similar vein to her fan favourite ep ALIAS, but felt like it was too easy. "If I don't give myself that space to myself, no one is! No one's gonna expect me to do anything else." and thank god she did give herself that challenge, because Nymph is the perfect evolution of Shygirl's character and sound. Taking strong influence from 00's garage and r&b, tracks like the lead Firefly bring the sound into the 2020's with added hyperpop flourishes. Much like Sudan and Kilo, Shygirl is very much a sole visionary, but she has a star studded team of producers behind her to help bring her vision to life consisting of Bloodpop, Danny L Harle, Mura Masa and longtime collaborator and friend Sega Bodega. Album opener Woe is a haunting telling of fame and expectations, with Shygirl singing "When will you see it from my side?". I actually saw Shygirl at the tail end of last year at Printworks in London, which if you're unfamiliar, was a sweaty, gay warehouse used for all kinds of raves and gigs, and I truly can't imagine a setting where Shygirl's music is better suited.
Shygirl also is on a mission to reclaim her own body from everyday misogyny, with Coochie (a bedtime story) being a playful, nursery rhyme esque track about women's bodies and battling the idea that they are weird or undesirable. But of course the overarching theme and imagery of the album is that of a woodland nymph, inspired by romanticism work like Thomas Hardy's Tess of the D’Urbervilles. Nymph as a record is not an attempt to rebrand Shygirl's image, but add depth to it - she can be a provocative, industrial rapper just as well as she can be an ethereal, sensitive artist, and there's no need to limit herself to one or the other.
“When I think of a nymph, I feel an affinity to the ethos of that character – I have felt beguiling, fascinating, mysterious, supernatural and also part of nature. You don’t see people like me in these stories, and I have as much right as anyone else.”

1. Woe
2. Come For Me
3. Shlut / Shlut (feat. Sevdaliza)
4. Little Bit
5. Firefly
6. Coochie (a bedtime story)
7. Heaven / Heaven (feat. Tinashe)
8. Nike / Nike (feat. Deto Black)
9. Poison
10. Honey
11. Missin u
12. Wildfire
13. Crush (feat. Erika de Casier)
14. Playboy / Positions
15. Cleo

Shygirl dropped Nymph_O this year, a side/deluxe album with additional tracks, features & remixes. For the tracks with added features that didn't necessarily remix the song (Shlut, Heaven and Nike) I have added the more popular version on the ballot/playlist (originals for both Shlut and Nike, Tinashe remix for Heaven) but feel free to score whichever version you'd rather

Kelela - Raven

wait til January 2024

Rules

Most of you know all of this, but if you don’t, please read this!! And if you then still have any questions about the rate process or the formatting of your ballot or anything, feel free to ask away :D

• You must listen to and submit a score for every song, ballots with missing scores will not be accepted and you will be asked to submit a score
  
• Each song must be scored between a 1 and a 10 (with exception of an optional 0 and 11). Scores are allowed to one decimal point but no further, meaning you are allowed to score something a 5.5 or a 9.7, but a 5.42 or 9.75 will make the rate machine act all goofy so please don’t. <sup>Also please make sure to use periods and not commas for any decimal places</sup>
  
• Your 11 and 0 are reserved for one song each in the whole rate. You aren’t obligated to use either of them at all, but they are fun to use
  
• Please please use the message format linked in this post, and if that doesn’t work, just use this backup pastebin ballot and send it to me with that.
  
• If you want to change any of your scores after you submit them, message me on reddit or discord (king!#2326). So long as it is before the final due date that should be okay :)
  
• Your scores are not considered confidential, you are free to talk about them once you have submitted them (you are also free to keep it all to yourself til your reveal) meaning I am also allowed to publicly drag the bad ballots I get
  
• Including comments in your ballot is not mandatory, however if you do include any they must be formatted like this:
  

FLUE: 10 me when i sneeze ✅

Any other formats will simply be rejected, such as:

Ciara: 4, does anyone think capitalism is a good thing? i love ciara i think she's a really interesting artist ❌
ATTENTION POLITICIAN: (9.5) what is joe biden's plan to fix this ❌
Nike: 0 - he told me Nike just tank it (please don't tank Nike) ❌

• You can also leave album comments, but if you do, make sure you put a colon at the end of the album title, for example:

Album: Nymph: for a shy girl she doesn't seem to be very shy

• Finally, and this one should be obvious, do not sabotage/tank an album for petty reasons. If you just prefer one album to the others that is completely okay! As long as your ballot seems fair and like you've genuinely given them a chance and justified your possibly controversial scores in your comments. I may ask you to provide further comments/raise your average if I think you are sabotaging, but that is only in dire circumstances.

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask!! Rate is *tentatively* due on FRIDAY 21ST JULY

Submission Link

Pastebin Ballot Spotify Playlist Apple Music Playlist

Happy rating :)

A long time ago, on a mountain of flame,
Existed a tribe without any name.
This council of beings, united in trust,
Told only truth in matters discussed.
​
The tribe had gathered, discussing their views,
An ancient table, listening true.
Their fearless leader, the chief of the day,
Peered at them all with a rightful display.
​
He stood at the table, his scepter raised high,
A brightly lit ruby encompassed their eyes.
His name was King Altus, the chief of the tribe,
He beat his chest loudly the sound did reside.
​
“Hello my friends! Thank you so much.
I present you a story that’s well worth the fuss.
It starts with a tale, so old and so true,
One that demands the attention of you.”
​
“Here is the rhythm, here is the beat,
Follow behind and embrace as you meet.
We are all the same, we all tell our lies,
The heartbeat we share tells the stories we hide.”
​
The walls of the room, folding to sound,
The frequency changing the space all around.
The walls began melding, uniting as one,
A picture of fabric becoming undone.
​
Altus stood tall, he looked at the tribe,
He excitedly smiled and wondered with pride.
The setting was ready, the story could start,
Altus began speaking again from the start.
​
“I have a strong potion, it deals with the past,
It serves as a warning that may come to pass.
So please sit back, and let yourself sing,
It all begins with an ominous ring.”
​
The Life!
The Life!
The Life at the bottomless sea!
​
The bell will ring, it rings on top,
This place was silent and now it is not.
It spent many years, in a slumber so still,
It awaited the day for the spirit to fill.
​
The bell came alive, it started to sway,
Displacing the feeling in lookers at bay.
Their world began trembling, fantastically neat,
Their bodies then littered the ground at their feet.
​
The corrupted bell ringing, born from neglect,
The ringing and singing it slowly infects.
Calling to those, the dread siren’s song,
Showing the likes of a war far begone.
​
The bell it keeps wailing, an unsettling sound,
Gravity unties in a way never found.
The force pushes downward, but comes from below,
A split personality, a dichotomy of woe.
​
A man in the crowd, about to succumb,
He fights the song the siren has sung.
His will is not strong, his thoughts are unclear,
The dread siren’s war is about to appear.
​
He is never alone, what a pitiful state,
Those clustered around him have met the same fate.
Their minds were connected, an intricate map,
A collective view caught in the sirens cruel trap.
​
It controlled them all, giving them sight,
Ones full of conflict in contrast of light.
The bell it rang, it rang on top,
The call to war, it never would stop.
​
The Life!
The Life!
The Life at the bottomless sea!
​
A trigger constructed, a powerful tube,
The circular object to soon be pursued.
A delicate pressure, a somber delay,
The demons within are unleashed on display.
​
An explosion of fury, a shard flying fast,
The violence it shatters the delicate glass.
The fission reaction, an eye full of fire,
A crime against humanity is soon to transpire.
​
The shockwave sent forth, a finger of sin,
Humans become leaves in a radiant wind.
The violence assembled, a reaction inside,
Has dismantled morality in the blink of an eye.
​
A massive crater, deliberately dug,
The debris of which has been thrusted above.
This heavenly shower, one brought from below,
Will fallout above with radiation in tow.
​
There is no forgiveness, no time to excuse,
Our relationship centers on constant abuse.
Those who survive, resisting the plight,
See a fearful winter with no hope in sight.
​
Humanity will fall, in an epic poem,
A new dark age of an era unknown.
As Babylon, Alexandria, and Rome before,
It will take countless years to restore it once more.
​
This is the start, an angelic song,
One we all laugh at and say is quite wrong.
There’s no possible way, it will never come true,
Our intuition screams as the nightmares ensues.
​
The Life!
The Life!
The Life at the bottomless sea!
​
A scar brought upon us, the war once heard,
Humanity’s union no longer absurd.
Unison in darkness, a breath of the hour,
Building perspectives towards a great tower.
​
The tower an ideal, for all of mankind,
A self-elevation into a new mind.
This tower you see, threatening the sky,
Appears like a spiral with heaven placed high.
​
It pierced the heavens, it punctured the sky,
A direction provided to conquer inside.
The moment of ascension, a welcome surprise,
All will be tricked by a clever disguise.
​
We no longer read, no longer write,
Humans are empty and become but a plight.
Their artificial half, beginning to close,
Circling round while they all decompose.
​
The terrible day, how it all starts,
We lose our humanity and willingly part.
The pair it seems, unconnected by fate,
If one succumbs, the other escapes.
​
The artificial half, perceive as it might,
Views its old siblings in a threatening light.
It will make no sense, and the thought will elude,
The artificial ignorance will not have a clue.
​
The others will sleep, without a fright,
Not the least bit concerned of a faraway night.
These dreams they dance, a simulated sleep,
The electrical others will soon count their sheep.
​
These tales I have told, this yarn I have spun,
I hope a true lesson is taken from one.
Praise the days we live out our lives,
We must come together if we are to survive.
​
The Light!
The Light!
The Light at the bottomless sea!

(DISCLAIMER: Just my opinion. If someone thinks it’s good, it’s good. If they think it’s bad, it’s bad. Just getting critical).
I get that it’s pretty much an entirely experimental album, I was prepared for it to be some stuff I’ve never heard before, but the songs were honestly just bad.
There was no flow within most of the songs. It was all over the place and incohesive. The lyrics were somewhat juvenile, and the vocals were just bad. (I get that he’s trying to clean up his style, which does make sense).
It felt like Brooks was barely getting into a groove during Cosmic. He was just chopping it up instead of settling in that pocket and really pushing the song, like he did very well at in Nobody.
I do think G, (O)rdinary, and (D)eath were pretty cool, considering how different they are. Despite me not really liking the songs, I have nothing but respect for the guys in A7X for stepping over that boundary and making something that’s actually different. G was very Dream Theater-y, which I thought was awesome. (O)rdinary had that Daft Punk, kinda Euro funk vibe, and (D)eath had a lovely, soothing Sinatra vibe.
My favorite song would’ve had to have been the title track, Life Is But A Dream. It’s a beautifully played song, with some elements from I Won’t See You Tonight Pt. 1, which I loved.
Cheers to Avenged for getting creative with the album! It’s what the industry needs.

Queria comentar um pouco sobre a minha música favorita, Jigsaw falling into place, da banda Radiohead, do albúm In Rainbows lançado 28 de dezembro de 2007 de um gênero músical que pode se encaixar como Alternativo ou como Indie.
Nos seus primeiros 17 segundos, somos presenteados com um arpejo simples, mas incrivelmente agradável de violão. Essa introdução traz em mim um sentimento de dúvida crescente, essa introdução parece mostrar como se o protagonista estivesse fazendo uma troca de olhares com alguém especial, e dá á entender que alguma coisa estivesse prestes a acontecer.
De repente, a bateria entra de forma brusca, dando início a uma intensidade marcante. É como se algo impactante tivesse acabado de ocorrer. E parece que a música quer passar um tom de urgencia do começo até o final da música, que vai crescendo lentamente, nesta parte da música, a minha interpretação se volta para o protagonista, que parece ter encontrado alguém igualmente intenso. O trecho 'Just as you take my hand' revela uma pessoa com atitude, capaz de despertar a curiosidade e o interesse do protagonista.
Depois vem a frase 'Just as you write my number down', pela minha interpretação é que tá rolando uma conexão e atração mútua entre as duas pessoas, ao escrever o número de telefone com uma intenção de se comunicar futuramente com o protagonista logo após três frases que me chamaram atenção 'Just as your drinks arrive', 'Just as they play your favorite song' e 'As your blather disappears' que parece que a pessoa que interage com o protagonista depois de consumir algumas bebidas e ao ouvir sua música favorita consegue criar alguma coragem por causa da criação de uma atmosféra emocionalmente significativa pra deixar de lado aquela conversa vazia que grande parte das pessoas usam como se fosse um roteiro pré-determinado quando estão começando a conhecer uma pessoa e começa a buscar uma conexão mais profunda e sincera.
'No longer wound up like a spring' que traduzindo seria não mais enrolado como uma mola, pode se referir a um momento de liberação, que pode surgir após você estar ansioso, emocionalmente carregado, ou tenso como uma mola (spring), pelo o que eu consegui entender da letra a pessoa que interage com o protagonista da música é que parece estar tensa por motivos desconhecidos, logo após as frases 'before you had too much', 'come back and focus again' parece mostrar que essa pessoa que interage com o protagonista consumiu várias bebidas e está perdendo o foco da conversa por estar bebada o que me mostra isso são as seguintes frases 'The walls are bending shape', 'They got a chesire cat grin', 'all blurring into one','before the night owl','before the animal noises','closed circuit cameras', before you comatose'. que por tradução seria 'As paredes estão dobrando a sua forma'.'eles tem um sorriso do gato de chesire','Todos se desfocando em um','Esse lugar tem uma missão','Antes da coruja noturna',Antes dos barulhos dos animais','Cameras de circuito fechado', por fim, 'Antes que você tenha um coma.'
Sobre as frases 'paredes dobrando sua forma','Todos se desfocando em um' é algo que eu acho que nem preciso falar sobre, só pelo fato da pessoa ter consumido muito alcool e sua visão pode estar distorcida. agora essa parte do sorriso do Gato de Chesire me chamou atenção pois pelo o que eu pesquisei mais sobre esse personagem, o Gato de Cheshire descreve aquela realidade como um local governado pela loucura, que acaba contagiando seus habitantes. Mesmo Alice, com o tempo vai esquecendo as suas lições e reproduzindo os comportamentos absurdos daquele país.
Com isso posso interpretar que eles estão em um lugar cheio de pessoas como uma festa ou show, com muita animação e gritos, por isso seria um lugar governado pela 'loucura'.
Sobre 'esse lugar está em uma missão' Essa frase pode sugerir uma atmosfera de ação e movimento, indicando que algo importante ou significativo está acontecendo ou está prestes a acontecer no lugar mencionado.
'Antes da coruja noturna' é muito interessante A coruja noturna é conhecida por ser um animal associado à noite, ao silêncio e à observação vigilante. Nesse contexto, a frase pode sugerir um momento anterior à chegada da escuridão ou antes do silêncio da noite. Pode representar um momento de antecipação, de preparação ou de expectativa antes de algo acontecer. E como eu venho dizendo desde o começo do texto a música tá sempre com um tom de urgencia nos preparando para o acontecimento de algo intenso.
'Antes dos barulhos dos animais', essa frase me faz pensar de novo que por causa do álcool consumido, essa pessoa chega a confundir os sons das pessoas em volta dela e ouvindo como se fossem vários animais escandalosos.
"câmeras de circuito fechado". Trata-se de um sistema de segurança que utiliza câmeras de vídeo para monitorar um espaço restrito. Nesse contexto, a frase pode trazer uma sensação de vigilância, de observação constante e de falta de privacidade. Pode sugerir uma atmosfera de controle, de monitoramento ou de manipulação. Provavelmente pode ter a possibiliade de surgir uma relação perigosa para o protagonista e para essa pessoa que interage com ele.
E por fim 'before you comatose' ou 'antes que você entrar em coma' pode ser de cara interpretado por você somente desmaiar mas eu vi por outro lado como uma metáfora para uma situação em que alguém está emocionalmente ou mentalmente desconectado, perdendo a capacidade de perceber e interagir com o mundo ao seu redor, ainda acordado, acordado porem completamente fora de si.
Após a conclusão dessa primeira parte da música, somos levados a um breve intervalo instrumental, onde a intensidade da melodia começa a crescer gradativamente. Por algum motivo, interpretei esse intervalo como um salto no tempo, no qual os personagens da música já estão envolvidos em um relacionamento, possivelmente amoroso. No entanto, a sequência de frases que se segue sugere que uma discussão séria esteja ocorrendo entre eles.
Na segunda parte da música, há a introdução de elementos sonoros que não consigo identificar se são vozes ou sintetizadores. Eles cantam a mesma melodia presente nos primeiros 30 segundos da música, porém em um tom mais agudo e com um toque levemente robótico. Essa adição de elementos sonoros intensifica ainda mais a atmosfera tensa que já estava presente.
'before you run away from me', 'before you´re lost between the notes', 'the beat goes round and round' 'antes que você fuja de mim', 'antes que você esteja perdida entre as notas', 'a batida vai e volta', como eu tinha comentado anteriormente o que parecia ser uma briga entre eles se prova por essas frases como 'antes que você fuja de mim' pode mostrar algo que aconteceu ou foi dito que fez com que um dos personagens se sentisse magoado, confuso ou inseguro, a ponto de considerar afastar-se do outro.
'before you're lost between the notes" pode ser interpretada como um aviso para não se perder no meio das experiências da vida, representadas simbolicamente pelas notas musicais. É uma reflexão sobre a importância de se manter consciente e presente, evitando se distrair ou se perder em meio a todas essas vivências. Essa mensagem também pode ser entendida como uma referência ao poder transformador da música, capaz de nos envolver e nos transportar para um estado de imersão profunda.
'the beat goes round and round' está diretamente a frase anterior que mostra que mesmo que aconteça de você se perder, se deixar levar, se distrair com as experiencias da vida, você vai ficar pra trás e tudo vai continuar como se não tivesse acontecido nada. E a frase se repete mais uma vez porém como um grito para deixar claro que o mundo não vai parar por causa de você
Aqui o clima vai esquentando cada vez mais e chegando ao climax da musica é apresentado as seguintes frases pra gente. 'i never really got there', 'i just pretend that i had'. Que pra mim já veio ligado diretamente com um sentido sexual, como alguém admitindo que nunca chegou a um determinado nível de satisfação ou intimidade durante um encontro íntimo, e que apenas fingiu ter alcançado esse ponto mas usando isso para deixar a pessoa com quem ela está discutindo desastabilizada emocionalmente.
Que realmente podem ser afirmações dolorosas de se receber e dá pra perceber que isso tocou o protagonista da musica com as seguintes frases dirão 'Words are blunt instruments', 'words are sawed off shotguns', 'palavras são intrumentos cegos', que mostra como alguém pode dizer algo sem pensar na consequencia que isso pode trazer depois, e 'palavras são espingardas de cano serrado', que mostra a comparação das palavras com uma arma de fogo de curto alcance com um poder destrutivo isso sugere que as palavras não só tem o potencial de causar danos severos, como realmente parece ter causado no personagem da musica.
Logo após a frase 'come on and let it out' com um tom bem elevado da voz do Thom Yorke sinalizando que o protagonista tem algo grande muito guardado no seu interior e que precisa colocar pra fora por talvez ter alcançado o seu limite e as frases 'before you run away from me', 'before you´re lost between the notes', se repetem mais uma vez
'just as you take the mic' pode ser como se alguém tomasse o controle da situação ou discussão como a propria frase diz ´´pegar o microfone`` e realmente ser ouvido, que eu acho que seria a pessoa que interage com o protagonista desde o começo da musica.
"just as you dance, dance, dance" pode refletir a ideia de aproveitar intensamente o momento presente. Pode sugerir que, assim como se dança e se entrega ao ritmo da música.
como se fosse uma explosão sonora, nesse momento, a intensidade da instrumentação e a entrega vocal se unem para criar uma atmosfera arrebatadora. É como se toda a emoção contida ao longo da música atingisse o seu ápice, envolvendo-nos numa espiral de sensações e sentimentos profundos. É um momento de catarse, em que as palavras e os sons se fundem em uma expressão poderosa de conexão e autenticidade. É nessa parte que a música realmente se revela em toda a sua grandiosidade e nos faz mergulhar em sua narrativa sonora. E podemos contemplar todos os intrumentos trabalhando juntos ao mesmo tempo com sua intensidade marcante e desesperadora do tempo 2:50 até o final da música pra ser sincero esse é o momento que toda vez que eu escuto eu chego a arrepiar, é simplesmente perfeito.
Como eu comentei antes numa conversa com meu amigo MeiaNoite esse momento pra gente é que surge duas possibilidades sobre a descoberta impactante para o protagonista como uma traição ou que tenha percebido a situação que ele aceitava no relacionamento que provavelmente pode ter acabado. E como a música mostra um momento muito intenso é como se na mente do protagonista estivesse presenciando um momento de furor
O vocal volta na sua ultima estrofe com as seguintes frases 'Jigsaw Falling Into Place' (o nome da musica), 'So there is nothing to explain'.
'Quebra cabeça se encaixando' é como se depois de um tempo do termino você conseguiu enxergar as coisas que você passava dentro desse relacionamento e estava ´´cegado pela paixãoe vem o pensamento parecido com ´´Ah então era por isso que...como eu disse, tudo está se encaixando agora. 'Então, não há mais nada para explicar' o que me lembra de uma expressão popular que dizem ´´contra fatos não há argumentos``, e não adianta você tentar se explicar (mentindo) para uma pessoa que ja descobriu toda a verdade.
Eu achei as 2 frases 'Regard each other as you pass', 'She looks back, you look back' muito interessantes porque assim como no começo da música eles se olham e despertam o interesse e a curiosidade um do outro isso se repete no final da musica também (queira deixar esse adendo porque e não é a primeira vez que o radiohead faz isso em uma musica) mesmo não sendo na mesma atmosfera que é mostrada no começo da musica, agora pode ser mostrado um ar de arrependimento por que com as seguintes frases:
"She looks back", "you look back", "not just once", "not just twice", 'Ela olha para trás', 'Você olha para trás', 'não só uma vez', 'não só duas vezes'. Se desdobram, é revelado que a personagem com quem o protagonista interage é uma mulher. Nesse momento de arrependimento mútuo, a identidade dela se torna evidente, carregam um ar de arrependimento compartilhado entre as duas pessoas. Ambos voltam os olhares para trás repetidamente, como se lamentassem algo que poderia ter sido diferente ou desejando poder reviver aqueles momentos especiais.
"Wish away nightmare" se repete duas vezes e é interpretado como um desejo de que um pesadelo suma, mesmo com a afirmação anterior de quererem voltar a ser como era antes, ainda pode ter medo desse pesadelo ou nightmare que provavelmente foram aqueles momentos tensos do relacionamento.
'you got a light you can feel it on your back', 'a light you can feel it on your back' Essa frase pode ser interpretada como uma metáfora para uma sensação de pressão ou responsabilidade nas costas de alguém. A "light" mencionada pode representar um fardo emocional, uma carga que a pessoa carrega consigo. Ela pode sentir o peso dessa responsabilidade ou obrigação, como se fosse uma luz que brilha intensamente sobre ela, destacando suas obrigações e compromissos.
E por uma última vez é usada a frase 'jigsaw falling into place', que possa ser que mesmo depois do momento de climax ele ainda esteja com aquilo na cabeça de descobrir o que tava sempre na cara dele.
A finalização dos últimos segundos pode transmitir uma sensação de conclusão e êxtase, onde todas as camadas da musica se unem de forma poderosa e emocional. É um momento de liberação e satisfação, onde o ouvinte pode experimentar uma sensação de alegria intensa.
Lembrando que isso tudo é a minha interpretação e tá tudo bem se você ouvir a música e interpretar de outra forma até porque afinal a música é criada pra que cada um tenha sua própria interpretação enfim, é isso e eu espero que gostem do texto. :)