Nostalgic critic

Obviously, spoilers ahead. Go listen to it now if you haven't, it's great.
Now I'm no professional critic or anything, but I do know that my brain says "Mallet Song Good." So I just want to touch on what I love from the album!
Incoming Transmission: Absolutely my favourite of the opening tracks. I always love when a familiar leitmotif starts playing in a sequel or spinoff or whatever, and this track got me super pumped for the rest of the album! Great stuff!
Holy Flaming Hammer of Unholy Cosmic Frost: An absolutely phenomenal track, and our first glimpse at what normal day-to-day life is like in the kingdom. I remember when the video came out and I heard "Sanctus! Dominus!" at the clone awakening part for the first time. It's all in all an epic track with a great music video (misspelling of Interdimensional in the music video included!)
Imperium Dundaxia: Immediately powerful and intense, and overall a great track, giving us both the quest for the clone and Angus II. Angus II in this song probably shows the most intense hatred of ol' Zargy out of any song from the band prior. Truly a great introduction for our new hero!
Wasteland Warrior Hoots Patrol: The start gave me big 2nd album vibes, and overall the song does have those vibes throughout. The first line of the song, "Cruising down the highway, powered by Hoots!" had me laughing for a while when I first listened yesterday. Absolutely phenomenal chorus. Chris was right that it would be fun to sing. The music video is completely phenomenal and silly. The fact that Angus enters the Konami code on his glove is a great detail! The Hootsman suddenly pulling out the hybrid saxophone was completely unexpected and is always a great scene. Also, side note, this is the first time a Gloryhammer song has contained any "not kid-friendly" language since... I guess "rape" in Unicorn Invasion of Dundee? I also love the notable differences in Proletius' outfit. It makes sense story-wise and adds just a little more to the video as a whole! Overall, absolutely love the song!
Brothers of Crail: An mighty song for the mighty knights! I absolutely love the rhythm of it! Of course, I love the inclusion of Proletius talking again. Got a good laugh from it. Reminds me of "Unsightly peasants of Wacken, you have proven yourselves to be unsightly indeed!" Overall, not much to really say about it other than it's already one of my favourite songs from the band!
Fife Eternal: A great song for getting the squad back together again. Tells us more about the world of Imperium Dundaxia, and Angus' "The second of my name!" part reminds me of "Angus McFife, the thirteenth my name!" Overall, another incredible track on this incredible album! Ending with setting Angus on his quest for the Laserblaster is nice.
Sword Lord of The Goblin Horde: I love this, it has a slower, more 1st-album-y feel to it which is nice. Reminds me of Quest For The Hammer of Glory specifically. We get introduced to a new type of enemy, Toxic Laser-Slimes. It's always nice to see some random, silly new thing get added to the universe. It's a great song and I love it.
Vorpal Laserblaster of Pittenweem: Finally, a song about one of the other artifacts! Now we only need a Knife of Evil song to complete the trilogy! A dragon flying across the sapphire skies harkens back to Epic Rage of Furious Thunder. Angus' determination to obtain the Laserblaster stung a bit from a story-focussed standpoint, since we knew Alpha-1 would beat him to it. Despite knowing that, his dialogue at the end still instilled this feeling of dread in me when I first listened. Excellent song and a major loss for the forces of justice. I was really uncertain as to how the album would end, as realistically there was no way for Angus, with only the Hammer, to defeat both Zargothrax and Alpha-1 while they have the Laserblaster and the Knife.
Keeper of The Celestial Flame of Abernethy: Absolutely amazing song with a masterfully animated music video. I know I mention how good the animation is a lot but it's warranted. I never would have expected an official animated music video from the band, but when I saw the skull and realized it was the same person who did P.A.R.T.Y. for Alestorm, I knew it was going to be amazing. There's not much to say that hasn't already been said about this song. It tells us about Zargothrax's origins and motives and is overall a great addition to the lineup for the band. Ever since I heard a little of it from that small clip on Instagram, I was excited. It's the only time I've listened to a song before it came out thanks to people recording concerts.
Maleficus Geminus (Colossus Matrix 38B - Ultimate Invocation of The Binary Thaumaturge): Well we finally made it here. The start is unique and has a somewhat nostalgic feeling to it. Suddenly, the song properly begins with an ominous vibe that instilled even more uncertainty in me about the outcome of the battle ahead. Once again, the Knights of Crail are swiftly defeated, as is expected. I love the "Robot Prince of Auchtertool" part, it's extremely fun. Gives me a similar feeling to "For the king of space, we will fight to end this race!" in Fires of Ancient Cosmic Destiny. The song quieting for a moment as the containment fails and the original Zargothrax is set free instills this dreadful feeling. I'd seen comments on here of "dun dun DOUBLE dun dun WIZARD" but I didn't expect it to actually be in the song. That and the chanting right after it make me think of the world just shattering under the power of the Double Wizard. The ending of the song left me completely speechless. I still honestly haven't processed it fully. The Starlords, the chorus of Holy Flaming Hammer, everything. It's an phenomenal ending to a phenomenal album. I feel like I can't say enough just how much I love this album.
>! Honestly wondering where we go from here! The other albums all had some clear lead as to what would happen next (Wizards! mentioning a coming battle in space, Angus XIII following Zargy into the wormhole, and, of course, the transmission) !<
Overall: Insane album, completely blew me away and left me speechless. I'm extremely excited for what will come in the future! All in all, an absolutely phenomenal job from everyone!
I am greatly looking forward to covering (and making silly videos for) all of the songs (and I mean all of them (well, aside from the starting ones maybe))!
Glory to Dundee!

"From Up on Poppy Hill" is a Japanese animated film released in 2011, directed by Goro Miyazaki and produced by Studio Ghibli. Set in Yokohama during the 1960s, the film tells a heartfelt coming-of-age story against the backdrop of a rapidly changing Japan. This article delves into the narrative, themes, visual aesthetics, and critical reception of "From Up on Poppy Hill," exploring why it holds a special place among Studio Ghibli's enchanting filmography.

1. Plot and Setting (250 words): The story centers around Umi Matsuzaki, a high school student who lives with her grandmother and younger siblings in the Coquelicot Manor atop Poppy Hill. As Umi navigates her daily life, she develops a close bond with Shun Kazama, a member of the school's journalism club. Together, they embark on a mission to save the dilapidated Latin Quarter, a beloved clubhouse on campus.

Against the backdrop of their budding romance, Umi and Shun uncover a shared family secret that ties them together. As they strive to preserve their cherished memories and heritage, they find themselves caught up in a larger movement to honor the past while embracing the future.

1. Themes of Heritage and Identity (300 words): "From Up on Poppy Hill" explores themes of heritage, identity, and the intergenerational connection to history. The film reflects on the struggles faced by the post-war generation in reconciling their past and the need to embrace a modernizing society. Umi's journey intertwines personal growth with a deeper understanding of her family's legacy and the importance of preserving cultural heritage.
2. Artistic Visuals and Animation (250 words): As with many Studio Ghibli productions, "From Up on Poppy Hill" showcases stunning visuals and meticulous attention to detail. The animation captures the nostalgic atmosphere of 1960s Yokohama, depicting a vibrant and bustling city with its charming streets, bustling harbor, and iconic buildings. The hand-drawn animation style, combined with a warm color palette and fluid character movements, brings the world of Poppy Hill to life.
3. Musical Score and Soundtrack (200 words): The film's soundtrack, composed by Satoshi Takebe, complements the narrative beautifully. The score features a blend of lively, nostalgic melodies that evoke a sense of yearning and reflection. The music creates an emotional resonance, enhancing key moments of introspection, friendship, and love throughout the story.
4. Critical Reception and Impact (250 words): "From Up on Poppy Hill" received positive reviews from critics and audiences alike. The film was praised for its nuanced storytelling, endearing characters, and heartfelt exploration of themes. It struck a chord with viewers, resonating particularly with those who experienced the challenges of post-war Japan or identified with the universal themes of love, loss, and the pursuit of preserving cultural heritage.

The film's success contributed to Goro Miyazaki's growing reputation as a director and demonstrated Studio Ghibli's continued ability to captivate audiences with emotionally resonant narratives.
Conclusion (150 words): "From Up on Poppy Hill" is a poignant and visually captivating film that embodies the essence of Studio Ghibli's storytelling. Through its delicately woven narrative, exploration of themes, and stunning animation, the movie takes audiences on a nostalgic journey of self-discovery, young love, and the power of preserving cultural heritage. With its universal themes and timeless appeal, "From Up on Poppy Hill" solidifies its place among Studio Ghibli's enchanting repertoire and continues to touch the

I do feel emotions. I can be sad. Or happy. Or fearful. Nostalgic. Excited.
But I don't get this emotional pain stuff. It's a state. Some of them are unpleasant. But there are lots of unpleasant things that aren't pain. Cold rain. Mosquito bites. Cleaning toilets.
People talk about this like it was a tossup to feel the emotional pain or to be burned with a cigarette, or hit your thumb with a hammer.
Am I squashing my emotions this much?
Decades ago I was fired. In one instant I lost my job, my home (residential school) my friends (other staff) and my community. I was messed up for months. I felt sad, jumped at shadows, couldn't stand to be near people who argued, was devastated by criticism. But I wouldn't call it pain.
Is this just some of the weird wiring that trauma left me?

Hello everyone. I recently patinummed every Spider-Man game on the PSVITA and would like to review the experience.
Lets start with the first game of this post: The Amazing Spider-Man 2012.
Overall, this game was pretty straightforward and fun to platinum. The main story is on the shorter side at around 8 hours and you can 100% it in around 15-20 hours. There's not much padding and the game relies more on spectacle. There are also no missable trophies so you can do everything in one playthrough which is nice.
The game has around 4 groups of Trophies.
The first group are related to the main story. This includes the usual unmissable ones for completing certain missions or defeating the bosses or completing the game. There are also 3 trophies for beating the main story on the harder difficulties and I believe they stack. The game however, is pretty easy regardless of the difficulty so hard isn't that much harder and you have the ability to instantly "web retreat" when your health is low so it's rare to die.
The second group of trophies are for the side missions in the open world. These are all marked on your map and generally straightforward and fun to complete. I especially liked the races and events that ask you to go fast in the open world. But was rather meh on the combat and stealth ones. They do sometimes involve bosses which was cool.
The third group are for the game's collectibles. I'd divide these into groups: the open world collectibles in the form of Comic Books scattered all over Manhattan, and the interior collectibles you can only collect during missions. Fortunately the game does have a mission replay feature so no collectible is missable. The game even tells you which collectibles you have and haven't collected in missions and gives you a % completion for them. I recently platinummed TLOU2 and one of my biggest criticisms there was that the game would “forget” your progression when you replayed past levels. So props to TASM1 for doing this aspect well.
In addition, another nice consideration is that even though you can't highlight or mark collectibles, the different collectibles emit a different coloured bright light and emit a distinct sound when you are near them. Magazines for example, emit a bright yellow glow that can light up a bit of the surrounding area. So even if the magazine is behind some boxes, you can still see some of the glow. Audio Logs have a white glow. Tech Pieces have a blue-ish glow. Photo Ops have a giant Yellow "Oscorp" Sign planted next to them. So if the game tells you you have found all the magazines and tech pieces in a mission but still need to find some audio logs, you just have to keep an eye out for bright white light sources. Most collectibles are generally placed in plain sight. Only a couple are hidden in a random vent or corner that is a bit out of the way. I don't recall any collectibles that required some long puzzle or massive amount of backtracking to find. So not the most unfair set of collectibles to find.
However, this is only true in the PS3 version. In the VITA version, the graphics and lighting have been heavily downgraded in order to fit the game. So the collectibles are barely illuminated or emit much light. Add in the smaller screen, muddier resolution and textures and worse speakers on the VITA and there were times on my first playthrough of the game where I was moving through linear hallways with nothing else in them but a collectible and I still missed it. I could have walked slightly more to the left and would have picked it up without even realizing there was one there. It was really embarrassing 😭.
When I was looking up where the collectibles were on my iPhone, I could see them more clearly. For example, in one of the later Oscorp levels, there's a brief cutscene where the camera flys over an area. On my iPhone, I could see the blue glow of a Tech Piece. But on the VITA, even when I was looking exactly at the Tech Piece, it didn't even look distinct.
This even extends to the Photo Ops. On the PS3, these are usually pretty easy to find since you're looking for a bright yellow Oscorp sign next to the thing you need to photograph. But on VITA, these signs blend into their respective walls and even the words can be hard to read.
One really surreal experience that happened to me was in one of the final Oscorp Bio-Generator levels. In this area, there is a central generator that requires you destroy 4 consoles in the surrounding rooms to activate it. The rooms are labelled with a sign that says stuff like "Room 204: Biotechnology" or "Room 206: Recycling" so you know where you are and where you haven't been. One of the guides I was looking up told me there was 1 collectible in room 204, 2 in room 205 and 1 in room 206's vent. Simple enough. But when I was playing through it, I found 2 collectibles in room 204 and couldn't find room 205 or 206. I was really confused. It was only after watching some other guides that I realized that the VITA version reuses or simplifies textures more than I thought. Every room in the level had the same sign that said "Room 204: Biotechnology" even if their layout was different. I had already collected the collectible from the actual room 204 in my first playthrough, just found the 2 from Room 5 and just needed to get the one from the vent in 206.
Just for the fun of it, I decided to then replay some of the missions where I already knew where the collectibles were and compared what the rooms looked like between the 2 versions. And it showed that some of the collectibles on the PS3 version sometimes had additional detail or clutter near them to try drawing your eye to them. For example in the Beltoit Psychiatric Hospital mission, many of the collectibles had graffiti or posters near or above them. These were either absent or so low res as to be indistinguishable on the VITA version.
Now, it's debatable how much I can really criticize the VITA version for this. It's very likely these collectibles were designed to be more easily findable because of how lit up they normally were on the main PS3 version that Beenox probably didn't realize they'd be much harder to find on the VITA version. And I doubt Beenox would have had enough time or resources to somehow redo or significantly change the VITA version to fix something most players probably wouldn't even care about.
But then again, part of the issue, I feel, is due to the artstyle and locations of the game. TASM1 uses a much more "grounded" and muted colour palette. A lot of the interior areas are sewers, warehouses, generator rooms, underground tunnels and Oscorp facilities and they do start somewhat blending together even on the PS3. Compare this with say Insomniac's Spider-Man 2018 game and that game almost never used standard sewer areas for its interiors. Or even as a VITA example, Borderlands 2 was also ported to VITA and it too was heavily downgraded in order to fit. With many areas looking muddy and hard to make out. But the game's cell shaded look and more distinct locations were able to still preserve some variety and clarity. TASM1's visuals may have been able to get by on PS3 thanks to the console's power but as a result, hurts the VITA version way more than if it had more interesting visuals or colourful artstyle.
I’ll leave it to the readers to decide if this is an aspect worth criticizing.
Still, I do think it would have been better if, at the very least, there was some optional upgrade or tool you could get as an endgame unlock to highlight you of nearby collectibles. I find that generally benefits many games regardless of their artstyle or setup (certainly helpful in the Arkham games and their collectibles were bright green glowing question marks).
Anyway, there are also collectibles in the open world Manhattan in the form of comic books. You can't read these but I personally find them pretty fun and relaxing to collect with Spidey's web swinging. They remind me of the Animus Fragments in Assassin's Creed Revelations where they were all over the map and pretty fun to collect with your parkouring skills. There's only a few issues. The first is that there are 700 comics scattered all over Manhattan. Some are static and don't move. Others fly around the map. You need to Web Rush/Zip into them to collect them. They aren't marked on your map. So yeah, it would be quite rough to find them all. The game does offer some help. The comics emit a faint yellow glow and a certain sound as you get close to them. So it's advised to try finding them at night with the voice and music turned lower. Obviously it isn't as helpful on the VITA for the aforementioned reasons but the faint yellow glow at night is at least more noticeable than many of the interior collectibles.
Once you find 500/700 comics, it marks the remaining 200 on your minimap as you get near them. On paper, I'd actually really enjoy this. You have to find 500 sure, but it's fun swinging around as Spidey and looking out for them. There is some leeway and you can start seeing the patterns of where some are likely to be (many are often placed around skyscrapers, behind fire escapes and billboards etc). So it is reasonable to find 500/700 without the aid of a map. But the final 50 or so are more annoying. For one, they are only marked on your minimap and not your world map. And on top of that, they only show up on your minimap if you aren't too far from them, both on the x and y axis. Meaning it is possible for some comics not be highlighted on your minimap if you are too far above or below them. The final 10 were quite annoying as I had to thoroughly criss-cross sections of Manhattan at different altitudes. The last one I only found when I climbed to the top of Oscorp Tower and saw a really small faint glow in the night sky. This comic was quite far and really high up which is why it wasn't showing up on the minimap.
Again, I did enjoy finding these comic books. I just feel it would have been better if they were either always on your minimap once you find 500 regardless of your height and/or show up on the regular map as well.
The fourth group of trophies are for miscellaneous challenges. These include things like: "Sky Captain - Chain 10 Web-Rushes in the city", "Clean Victory - Defeat a Hunter without using your Web-Shooters".
I will highlight 3 notable ones:
"Heavyweight Champion - Defeat 1000 enemies". There aren't 1000 enemies in the main campaign or in the side missions. So you would have to replay some of the missions to get them. I got this naturally when I was replaying missions when looking for collectibles.
"Keep It Together - Immobilize 6 enemies simultaneously with web". I missed this one during my first playthrough because there's no real reason to do it. It's not like Insomniac's Spider-Man 2018 where you have a web ability to cover an entire area in web so you have to manually run around and web enemies up with your infinite webbing. But the combat is so easy that it's much faster to just KO enemies directly rather than incapacitate or stun them.
"The Sky Is the Limit - Defeat the S-01 without touching the ground". TASM1 really wants to be a spectacle. The second mission of the game showcases this with a bossfight against this giant Kaiju sized robot called the S-01. It's certainly a visual spectacle but not much of a gameplay one since you can easily move to dodge its attacks, perch to web its weak points and the game does much of the damage against the boss as you often just need to swing around to its weak points and press L and let the game go into autopilot for a few moments.
This trophy, funnily, actually helps the game on both the gameplay and visual front. And is one of the better examples of how a good challenge trophy can elevate a section of a game. It requires you defeat this boss without touching the ground. This also includes perching on lamp posts or the sides of building. Which means you have to keep swinging and are always on the move. The end result is this much more hectic and higher stakes encounter as you're swinging around dodging lasers, knowing any mistake could set you back. Sections that were more trivial before like webbing up fans near its feet/knees are more tense since you need to then web them while free falling and either swing or Web Rush away before you hit the ground. It's not the most challenging and I was able to get it in one try but it certainly made the fight feel more climactic and fun. Like I was actually playing this section of Spidey fighting this giant kaiju robot more than before (granted, the automated sections do hurt that feeling). Hell, even on the VITA version where the framerate was tanking, it even added to the feel. Like this boss was so epic that the poor hardware can't keep up lol. The section is also short enough to be impactful without losing or diluting the experience.
This is something Insomniac's Game does more of. It has bosses like Vulture and Electro you have to take on while web swinging. But there's something much cooler and enjoyable about the way TASM1 does it. Maybe it's the fact you're fighting this giant kaiju robot in a small-ish park and you have to move around way more vertically.
I will point out the trophy completion stats of this game a bit. Only around 78% of players managed to beat the first boss (i.e complete the second mission) of the game. Around 31% of players managed to beat the game on easy. That drops down to nearly 19% for medium and 9.9% beat it on hard. More people got all 700 comics in the open world (8.5%) than got the around 190-ish interior collectibles (7.5%) and only around 7% of players got the platinum.
So yeah, this was mostly a fun game to platinum. If the collectibles were marked a bit more (especially helpful on VITA), I'd have no complaints.
As for the game itself, by VITA standards, it's pretty good as there aren't many games like it on the platform. Gravity Rush is probably the only one that's comparable. I am very nostalgic for this game so I'm probably praising it more than others would. I can see some people dismissing it or disliking it more. Especially for the game's performance on the VITA.
But ignoring the fact its on the VITA and comparing it with everything else, I feel it's.....decent at best. TASM1, I feel, is an awkward spot where very little it does is truly amazing or worth playing over other games for even if the experience itself is quite enjoyable and worth seeing at least.
For those who haven't played the game, the best way I can describe the game is that it's "the child of Batman Arkham City and Insomniac's Spider-Man 2018 (even though that game wouldn't come out for another 6 years)". From Insomniac's Spider-Man, you might recognize that TASM1 has more of a focus on Spidey zipping around in both combat and traversal, using multiple web blasts to immobilize enemies, a stealth system that involves getting above or close to enemies and pressing a single button instantly eliminate them with a web takedown. On top of that, the game has a faux twitter-like social media that you can see as the game's loading screen that updates and comments on the events of the game. The plot also involves a deadly pandemic that spreads across New York requiring Spidey to act (so I guess Insomniac plagiarized this game). It's actually really fascinating seeing how this game has ideas and concepts that would show up in Insomniac's game.
And from the Batman Arkham side, the game copies the exact same freeflow combat from Arkham. Right down to the same commands and moves. There's even a shielded enemy you cannot attack directly and need to jump over and attack from behind. The main issue here is that while TASM1 copied the surface level ideas of Arkham's combat, it didn't copy all the things that make it great. Batman Arkham's combat is fun because of 2 main factors. The first is that Batman has a wide array of moves that can be combo-ed and you must do so in order to get a high score from both the number of hits, the kind of move and the variation bonus. And the second is that the game introduces new kinds of enemies that can't be hit with your basic strike but either have a "designated weakness" and/or are vulnerable to any other kind of move. For example, stun baton enemies cannot be punched directly. Their "designated weakness" is that you can jump over them and then hit from behind. But that's not the only way to damage them. You can use a special combo takedown move on them, or temporarily down them with a baterang or other gadget, you can throw another enemy onto them etc. There are other kinds of different enemy types and later fights will start mixing groups so in order to get that high combo score, you need to juggle all your different moves and how best to use them to both manage all these different enemies and have enough variation. Arkham's combat is a lot closer to something like Devil May Cry (Arkham Origins even used an "S, A, B, C grading system that I wish was in all the Arkham games).
TASM1 doesn't really do any of this. Spidey only has basic strikes, a basic counter, jump attacks, automatic takedowns on weakened enemies, Rush attacks and the ability to stun enemies by webbing them and throwing them. There's no need to get good at countering or mix up your attacks. There's not even a scoring system. But on top of that, the game doesn't really have varied groups of enemies. The majority of human enemies you fight can be dealt with using basic strikes and counters. Some robot enemies need to be webbed up first to disable their shields but that's rather trivial and not something you need to plan doing or execute under much pressure. Mutated enemies can only be finished off with combo takedowns but you already get those automatically from just attacking enemies so they don't play much differently. Some late game mutated bosses have the ability to charge at Spidey and perform multiple claw swipes which you have press triangle multiple times to dodge (kinda like knife enemies from Arkham City) but that's really it.
If we compare this to Batman Arkham Asylum, released in 2009, 3 years before TASM1, Batman had basic strikes, basic counter, the cape stun, special combo takedowns, special combo throw, combo baterings, combo batclaw, jumping over enemies and the ground takedown. The game doesn't take long to introduce knife, baton, gun and titan enemies that mix up the experience and make you start working for those high scores. TASM1's combat, at its best, kinda feels like very early Arkham Asylum and doesn't evolve much from there. As a result, it starts getting repetitive quickly. At least the animations and moves from Spidey are pretty cool.
By the way, I am not criticizing the game for copying aspects from Arkham. But I'm of the opinion if you are going to copy from Arkham, copy more so you have a more fun combat system. Don't just take some aspects and leave it at that. Look at the Shadow of Mordor games. Those games copied way more from Arkham than TASM1 and the end result is a pretty fun combat system. TASM1's combat is in the awkward position where it doesn't copy enough to be good just by having all the good pieces, but doesn't add enough in its place to be different and good.
I already mentioned the stealth gameplay. But the one aspect I do feel the game actually has a really cool and original idea for and does quite well is the web swinging. Web Swinging in TASM1 operates in a somewhat similar way to Insomniac's Spider-Man where holding R allows Spidey to automatically shoot out lines and swing and pressing X allows you to jump while swinging. Though, webs don't have to stick to buildings which does somewhat limit the need to consider your environment. The animations are still really cool and the game does this thing where the camera zooms close to Spidey giving the swinging a more "cinematic flair". But the biggest new feature is the "Web Rush". By holding L, you enter a first person view of Spidey (complete with seeing through the lenses of his mask) in slow motion. You can point the camera and the game will highlight if you can get there. Releasing L will then have Spidey automatically go to that highlighted point. This can also be used in combat to give you some more breathing room and doing a web rush punch, and in stealth to move to points and perform stealth takedowns.
On the surface, this doesn't sound that impressive. I've even heard some people dismiss it by saying "it's just the web zip from every other Spider-Man game only more automated". But I would argue there is more to it. One issue I had with Web Zipping in Insomniac's game was that it was a bit more situational. You generally used it more to zip to specific points, or onto perches and lights to jump and carry your current momentum. It wasn't as useful in quickly changing direction while still conserving some momentum. Especially when trying to gain altitude
But in TASM1, there's a lot more utility and flair here. You can typically Web Rush anywhere around you and the game is pretty good at picking up on where you want to go and getting you there. On top of that, depending on where you Web Rush from, Spidey will do a lot of cool animations. If you're standing on street level and Web Rush straight up, Spidey will usually automatically bounce up nearby buildings quickly gaining height. If you Web Rush while swinging close to street level, Spidey will sometimes run along buses and cars and bounce of buildings. If you Web Rush when higher up and near buildings, Spidey will sometimes Web Zip and Bounce along buildings. This sounds like its completely automated and wouldn't be fun. And if you use it like that, that can be the case. But I feel there are 2 things that elevate Web Rushing. The first is that you don't need to use the Slow Mo feature. You can Tap L when looking in certain directions to have Spidey Web Rush there. Using this while swinging means there's a lot more of a need to time and improvise which both looks cool and allows you to go really fast. The second is "cancelling" Web Rush. You can press X during a Web Rush for Spidey to cancel the rest of the Web Rush. Or Look at a different direction and press L to chain addition Web Rushes. This can lead to some interesting cases when swinging. For example, suppose you want to get over a building and you're approaching it while swinging. Instead of wall crawling/running over it, you can Web Rush up to have Spidey seamlessly bounce off the building and jump up and then quickly look to another direction and Web Rush again to zip of the building. If you need to swing around a building, you can Web Rush to the side to change direction while keeping momentum before transitioning back into a swing. Combine these features and you have a Web Swinging system that both looks really cool with all kinds of fancy animations, requires you to make a lot of quick decisions and gives you a lot of control and speed. Even on the poor VITA whose hardware struggles to keep up, I often felt like I was moving around faster and had more agency than Insomniac's Spider-Man game.
Though, the game doesn't really make you really take advantage of the depth here. Most of the races and side missions are pretty easy and generous. So you can often get by with basic swinging and Web Rushing. I can't remember if TASM2 made the races harder. I do remember the web swinging being more engaging because webs would stick to buildings and you could control which hand Spidey would swing from using the triggers.
As for the story and missions, I kinda like what TASM1 is going for here. It feels like it's more of a "The Amazing Spider-Man 1.5" as the story takes place after the events of the movie and features its own plot of how a breakout of a Cross Species infection from Oscorp infects all of New York. Resulting in rising case/infected numbers as you play the game, people needing to be quarantined and the race to develop a vaccine to try saving people. Alistair Smythe of Oscorp tries to fix the infection issue by releasing robots designed to hunt down and kill cross species. Which include Spider-Man himself since he was bitten by a cross species spider as opposed to a radioactive one, as well as any innocent civilians that are infected. Spidey also has to tank his reputation here by breaking Connors out of Beltoit's Psychiatric institute and working with him to develop a cure.
The story isn't the deepest or has much of an arc. It's also not even the most original as Web of Shadows already had a similar premise but with Symbiotes instead of Cross Species. But I still feel TASM1 makes it entertaining. The spectacle in seeing New York get progressively more wrecked, or Spidey needing to fight giant sized Kaiju Oscorp robots, or fighting many typical Spider-Man villains in the form of these mutated monstrosities like Scorpion and Rhino. That's really cool.
I also liked some of the twists, comedy and drama the story does. Stuff like the first cure failing so Gwen further distrusts Connors. Or Spidey's powers being suppressed by nanobots so the robots don't notice Peter as a Cross Species anymore. Which forces Connors to become the Lizard since Spider-Man can't be Spider-Man anymore. The sequence of powerless Spidey running through New York's streets while all the robot fighting is going around him and his apartment gets blown up in the process was really memorable. Especially because in the lore, that apartment was Stan Lee's who is renting it to Peter. He even calls Peter during this segment to ask him if the apartment is clean.
I also like how there's even a bit of foreshadowing and connection to the TASM2 game. Connors tells Peter about how this will affect his reputation and will come back to haunt him (i.e the main gimmick of TASM2). And the TASM2 game even has sections that relate to the cross species incident of the first game as well as the plot of the movie (TASM2 game really is its own alternate universe).
In closing, The Amazing Spider-Man 1 VITA was a fun time. I enjoyed platinumming it. And, as someone used to the VITA's rather poor performance, I wasn't bothered too much by the poor graphics and framerate. The game wants to be a spectacle and I enjoyed its more wacky elements. The combat and stealth got repetitive but the web swinging was really fun. Though sadly, there is very little reason to revisit this game specifically. Other Spider-Man games like Web of Shadows and Insomniac's Spider-Man do the combat and open world gameplay better. The game copies from Batman Arkham but not enough to even match it. Supposedly, the game was only made in 1 year and coincided with the movie's release. TASM1 was able to be decent despite the deadlines. TASM2 sadly, wasn't so lucky.
Still, I do have a fondness for this game and universe. Part of me wishes we got more TASM movies and the games got more time. Perhaps TASM3 game would have been really cool.
Next up for me is platinumming every Batman Arkham game on VITA. See you then.

Just a few words.
I'm on my 5th run of the Remake, soon going for S+ and i can't explain how good this game is. I don't think i ever found any game this replayable.
Finding collectibles, discovering new tricks, upgrading weapons, beating challenges, i rarely found it boring but rather a new and fresh start each time i started again. Yeah, some enemies are pain but it doesn't ruin the experience.
As a long time fan of RE franchise, played almost every game, explored the lore etc. i really appreciate Capcom for "polishing" this remake and not releasing half-assed game since that's becoming frequent occurrence nowadays in the industry.
I'm no gaming critic, sure it got some flaws but i'm looking at it from my own fan/player perspective. While playing i didn't came across any flaw that's too game changing or such. RE4 2005 was my first RE game and it feels pretty nostalgic playing this one.
I think they did amazing job in my opinion. No regrets preordering and putting dozens of hours into it.
I just wanted to appreciate this game and devs. One of a kind for me.

I write to you with a deep concern for the current state of dialogue between the left and the right in our nation. It appears that healthy discussions have been overshadowed by a whirlwind of whataboutery, labelling, and stereotyping. This unfortunate trend has led to nasty and insensitive exchanges in many online posts and comments.
My purpose here is not to criticise or condemn anyone's viewpoint. Instead, I implore you to reflect on the value of engaging in meaningful discourse that transcends party lines. Merely attempting to please your own camp without being able to effectively communicate your perspective to those who hold opposing views seems futile to me.
It is most crucial to understand that valid criticism of a country's policies, whether on a national or international level, is not an affront or an insult. Even if it may initially feel like a personal attack, it is essential to approach such criticisms with logical and reasonable defences. Remember, patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Let's address some pressing concerns that have been brought up but objected to by the Right.
India has indeed witnessed a decline in its quality of life index since 2014, press freedom appears to be constrained, poverty and income inequality are on the rise, and there are concerns regarding the current government exhibiting traits associated with fascism. Moreover, there are fears that hate speech left unchecked may lead to potential forms of genocide in our country.
Additionally, it is disheartening to witness the excessive amount of public funds that the current government, both at the Centre and in Delhi & Punjab, spends on advertising. While it is acceptable to highlight noteworthy accomplishments, the utilisation of taxpayers' money for handouts and freebies, followed by extensive self-promotion, is certainly questionable in my eyes.
Let us not forget that even the Congress party, with its notable achievements, had its flaws. It was involved in serious criminal activities, employed numerous dirty political strategies found in the standard playbook, failed to make significant improvements in the education system, and sometimes harboured questionable leaders for the sake of garnering votes. Our collective decision to vote them out stemmed from the desire for a better India.
But have we truly achieved that goal? Regardless of whether you believe reports from international observers with high global credibility, consider engaging in conversations with individuals from various walks of life—the minimum wage earners, small business owners, students, and others. Listen to their experiences and you will hear how their lives have become more difficult over the past decade.
As a fellow citizen and someone who was once a staunch supporter of the BJP, I urge you to see beyond image management and the "I-Me-myself" factor. Can we not acknowledge what is happening around us? Allow me to highlight a common fallacy that many people tend to make when presenting or countering an argument—whataboutery. Imagine two politicians engaging in a heated debate:
Politician 1: "You are a murderer." Politician 2: "And, you sir, are a rapist."
Assuming both allegations are true, should we not condemn both actions? Or consider this scenario: someone close to you has been a victim of rape, and you approach the police to file a complaint. Instead of filing an FIR, the officer questions why you never spoke up during previous cases of rape. They ask where you were during the Nirbhaya case. Would you find such reasoning fair? Surprisingly, in many instances, we inadvertently engage in similar forms of reasoning.
Please understand that my intention is not to insult or ridicule anyone's sentiments. I merely urge you to exercise caution and scepticism toward all political parties. Question your own beliefs—do you genuinely believe in them from the depths of your heart? Do not feel obligated to remain married to your opinions without considering alternative perspectives.
"Nationalism should never be an excuse for discrimination, intolerance, or the violation of human rights."
As a child of the 90s, I invite you to explore YouTube, where you'll find an abundance of nostalgic content https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYwN2KTYUhk&list=PL1exERyMVQbyjRI3Qc4bV_-XzIIfN5AjX&index=45 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjlmltN0pNk&list=PL1exERyMVQbyjRI3Qc4bV_-XzIIfN5AjX&index=49
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ1zZ8VaN7M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSZ56Ql9v5k Take a moment to immerse yourself in those videos and pay close attention to the sentiments expressed in the comments section. Almost without exception, you will encounter a pervasive feeling that the cherished days of past have slipped away. The comments are brimming with truth and emotion, serving as a testament to the collective yearning for a time that is perceived as more promising.
It is worth reflecting upon the remarkable period of growth and progress our nation experienced from 1991 until 2008, coinciding with the Congress party's regime. During those years, there was a palpable sense of advancement and optimism. However, one cannot help but question how the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) has managed to surpass or replicate those achievements. If we are indeed living in a "Golden Age" as depicted by the media, why do we find ourselves longing for the past?
These queries force us to delve deeper and seek a clearer understanding. Is it possible that the portrayal of a "Golden Age" by the media is not wholly accurate? Are there underlying factors and nuances that may have been overlooked or underrepresented? Exploring these questions with an open mind and a critical lens can lead us closer to the truth.
Let us foster an environment of open dialogue and examination, free from bias or predetermined notions. By engaging in thoughtful discussions, we can gain valuable insights and challenge prevailing narratives. Together, we can uncover the complexities of our present reality and forge a path toward a future that encompasses the best of our past and the aspirations of our generation.

Schlatt: Hey, boys! Welcome back to another episode of the Sleep Deprived Podcast. How are we all doing today?
Mika: Hey, Schlatt. I'm hanging in there, you know. Dealing with the usual ups and downs, but I'm ready to tackle another episode.
Aztro: Doing fantastic, as always! Ready to bring some laughs and good vibes to our listeners.
Apandah: Yeah, yeah, I'm here, whatever. Let's get this show on the road. I've got some spicy takes to share today.
Schlatt: Alright, alright, settle down, everyone. Let's jump into some topics. So, have you guys seen the latest football match? Man, that game was intense!
Aztro: Absolutely, Schlatt! That last-minute goal had me on the edge of my seat. Football always brings out the passion in me.
Apandah: Yeah, yeah, football. I'm just here for the chaos, you know. But I gotta admit, that game got me pumped too.
Mika: I haven't really been following the matches, but it sounds like it was a thrilling one. Speaking of passion, I've been pouring my energy into my music lately. Working on some new tracks, you know?
Schlatt: That's awesome, Mika! Can't wait to hear what you've been working on. You always bring a unique perspective to the group with your music.
Apandah: Unique, huh? Well, I've got some unique thoughts to share today, too. Brace yourselves, boys!
Aztro: Oh no, here we go. Buckle up, everyone. Apandah's about to drop some controversial takes again.
Schlatt: Just keep it within reason, Apandah. We don't want things going completely off the rails.
Apandah: Hey, I can't make any promises. But I'll do my best to keep it spicy yet palatable.
Mika: As long as we're respectful to each other, I'm open to hearing different perspectives. It's what makes our discussions interesting, after all.
Aztro: Couldn't agree more, Mika. It's all about embracing our differences and finding common ground, even when we have those outrageous moments.
Schlatt: Exactly, Aztro. That's what makes this podcast so special. We may not always see eye to eye, but we respect each other and have a damn good time doing it.
Apandah: Yeah, yeah, respect and all that. But let's not forget to inject some chaos and laughter into the mix. That's what keeps our listeners hooked!
Schlatt: Well said, Apandah. Let's bring the chaos, laughter, and some thought-provoking discussions to our audience. It's what they've come to love and expect from the Sleep Deprived Podcast.
And so, the hosts of the Sleep Deprived Podcast continue their banter, sharing their unique perspectives, controversial takes, and plenty of laughter along the way. Each one bringing their own flavor to the table, creating a dynamic and entertaining listening experience for their audience. ---
Schlatt: Alright, folks, let's move on to our next topic. Apandah, what do you have for us today?
Apandah: Ah, you know me, always bringing the spice. So, guys, have you ever heard of this thing called "gooning"?
Aztro: (laughs) Oh, Apandah, here we go again. Yeah, I've heard of it. It's when you... well, you know, engage in some "me time," if you catch my drift.
Schlatt: (chuckles) Yeah, it's a term that's been floating around. Some might call it chronic self-indulgence, if you will.
Apandah: (grinning) Ah, finally, some comrades who understand. You guys are on the same page.
Mika: (confused) Uh, sorry, guys, but I'm a bit out of the loop here. What exactly is "gooning"?
Aztro: (snickers) Oh, Mika, my innocent friend, you're in for a treat. Gooning refers to, um, well, let's just say it's an enthusiastic form of self-exploration.
Schlatt: (smirks) It's like a marathon of personal satisfaction, Mika. An adventure best embarked upon with a box of tissues and a can-do attitude.
Mika: (blushes) Oh... I see. I guess I've been out of touch with the latest terminology. Thanks for filling me in, guys.
Apandah: (laughs) Don't worry, Mika, we'll educate you on all the "important" things in due time. Consider it a crash course in internet culture.
Schlatt: (playfully) And remember, Mika, there's no shame in discovering new... uh, hobbies. Embrace the chaos!
Mika: (smiling) Well, as long as we can keep the discussions lively and respectful, I'm all for embracing the chaos, even if it means learning about "gooning."
And so, the conversation continues with Apandah's mention of "gooning," leading to an enlightening moment for Mika while the rest of the hosts share a knowing camaraderie, injecting laughter into the mix. They proceed to explore more topics, always ensuring a balance between fun, respect, and their unique dynamic on the Sleep Deprived Podcast.
---
Mika: Hey, guys, I've been meaning to tell you something. So, you know how we often discuss our different backgrounds and where we're from?
Schlatt: Yeah, what's up, Mika?
Mika: Well, funny story... I'm actually Canadian.
Aztro: (laughs) Wait, really? Mika, you've been hiding that this whole time? How did we not know?
Apandah: (teasingly) Oh, Mika, you sly Canadian. You've been infiltrating our New Yorker circle all along.
Schlatt: (narrows his eyes) Hold on a second. Canadian? And you've been pretending to be one of us this whole time? I can't believe it!
Mika: Schlatt, it's not like that. I've always been a part of the podcast. Nationality doesn't change that.
Schlatt: (in an overly dramatic tone) Nationality, huh? You know, Mika, it's not easy for a proud New Yorker like me to accept this. We're talking about deep-rooted rivalry here.
Aztro: Schlatt, come on, don't take it too seriously. It's just a friendly podcast. Mika being Canadian doesn't change anything.
Schlatt: (leaning in) Oh, it doesn't change anything, huh? Well, let me remind you of something, Aztro. 9/11.
Aztro: (taken aback) Whoa, Schlatt, that's unnecessary. We're all friends here. Let's not bring up sensitive topics.
Mika: Guys, come on. We can have fun banter without crossing the line. Nationality shouldn't divide us.
Apandah: Yeah, Schlatt, let's not go down that road. We're here to have a good time, not dwell on past events.
Schlatt: (softens) You're right, guys. I got carried away. I'm sorry, Mika. It doesn't matter where you're from; you're still an important part of our podcast.
Mika: Thanks, Schlatt. I appreciate that. Let's move forward and focus on the laughs and good times, regardless of our nationalities.
And so, a tense moment arises as Mika accidentally reveals his Canadian identity, leading to Schlatt's unnecessary offense and the mention of a sensitive topic. However, the other hosts quickly intervene, reminding everyone of the importance of friendship and unity. They reconcile, emphasizing the podcast's purpose: to share laughter and create an inclusive and enjoyable environment for their listeners.
---
Schlatt: Alright, boys, here's a question for you: Do you think we'll still be doing this podcast when we're old men?
Apandah: (laughs) Oh, Schlatt, can you imagine? A bunch of old dudes rambling on about the good old days? It would be hilarious.
Aztro: You know what, Apandah? I can totally picture it. We'll be sitting in our rocking chairs, reminiscing about the crazy conversations we had and how the internet has evolved.
Mika: It's an interesting thought. I mean, who knows what the future holds? Technology and platforms may change, but if there's still an audience that enjoys our banter, why not?
Schlatt: Absolutely, Mika. We'll be the wise, seasoned podcasters of our generation. Still bringing laughter and thought-provoking discussions, even with our old bones.
Apandah: (grinning) Can you imagine the kind of outrageous opinions we'll have as old men? We'll be the grandpas with hot takes, shaking our fists at the youngsters.
Aztro: And we'll have a whole new set of stories to share, experiences from our wild youth and the wisdom that comes with age. Our audience will be like, "Back in my day, we had the Sleep Deprived Podcast."
Schlatt: (chuckles) I can see it now. "The Sleep Deprived Podcast: The Golden Years Edition." We'll still be here, spreading chaos and laughter, keeping our audience entertained.
Mika: As long as we're still enjoying ourselves and bringing joy to others, age won't matter. We'll be the timeless voices of the podcasting world.
Apandah: And we'll have a whole new generation of fans who will appreciate our vintage charm.
Schlatt: Well, boys, it's settled then. We'll be the coolest old men in the podcasting universe. The Sleep Deprived Podcast will stand the test of time!
And so, the hosts of the Sleep Deprived Podcast contemplate the future and the possibility of continuing their podcast even in old age. With humor and enthusiasm, they envision themselves as seasoned podcasters, sharing stories, wisdom, and laughter with a whole new generation of listeners. The idea of "The Golden Years Edition" becomes a source of excitement and laughter as they embrace the possibility of a timeless podcasting legacy.
---
Apandah: Alright, guys, brace yourselves for this one. I've got a controversial take that might ruffle some feathers.
Schlatt: (curious) Oh boy, here we go. Lay it on us, Apandah.
Aztro: (laughs) Alright, let's see what you've got this time. Hit us with your wildest opinion.
Apandah: Okay, hear me out. Cereal is the worst breakfast food ever invented.
Mika: (surprised) Wait, what? Cereal? But... but it's a classic! It's been a breakfast staple for decades.
Schlatt: (raises an eyebrow) Apandah, you might have gone too far this time. Cereal is beloved by so many people. It's quick, easy, and comes in so many delicious flavors.
Apandah: (grinning) I know, I know. But think about it, guys. It's just a bowl of sugar-filled, nutritionally empty, crunchy bits. We could have so many better options for a healthy start to the day.
Aztro: (chuckles) Okay, Apandah, I see where you're coming from. Cereal can be high in sugar, and we should definitely encourage healthier choices. But completely dismissing it as the worst? I don't know about that.
Schlatt: (nodding) I agree with Aztro. Cereal has its flaws, sure, but it also has its place. It's quick and convenient, especially for those busy mornings. Plus, who doesn't love a bowl of their favorite childhood cereal every now and then?
Mika: (smiling) I think we can find a middle ground here, guys. Cereal may not be the healthiest option, but it does bring nostalgia and comfort. It's all about balance and moderation, as with everything.
Apandah: (grinning mischievously) Alright, alright, you got me. Maybe I went a bit overboard with that one. Cereal isn't the absolute worst, but I still stand by my point that we could use some healthier breakfast alternatives.
Schlatt: (laughs) Fair enough, Apandah. We'll keep that in mind. But let's not forget the joy that a good bowl of cereal can bring, even if it's not the most nutritious choice.
And so, Apandah's controversial take on cereal sparks a moment of disagreement, even among Schlatt and Aztro. However, they eventually find common ground, acknowledging the flaws of cereal while appreciating its nostalgic appeal and convenience. They reach a compromise, emphasizing the importance of balance and exploring healthier breakfast options. Laughter fills the air as they move on to lighter topics, leaving the cereal controversy behind.
---BONUS---
Schlatt: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight is a special night for the Sleep Deprived Podcast. We have a very distinguished guest joining us: Dr. Anthony Fauci!
Aztro: (excitedly) Oh wow, this is huge! Dr. Fauci, welcome to the Sleep Deprived Podcast. We're honored to have you here.
Dr. Fauci: Thank you for having me, gentlemen. It's a pleasure to be on your show.
Mika: Dr. Fauci, your work during the COVID-19 pandemic has been instrumental in guiding public health measures. How do you feel about the impact you've had on the world?
Dr. Fauci: Well, Mika, it's been a challenging journey, but I'm humbled to have played a role in providing scientific guidance and promoting public health. It's truly a team effort, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to make a difference.
Apandah: Dr. Fauci, you've faced criticism and even threats throughout the pandemic. How do you stay motivated and focused despite the challenges?
Dr. Fauci: Apandah, it's essential to stay focused on the science and the goal of protecting public health. While criticism is inevitable, my motivation comes from the knowledge that my work can help save lives. It's a responsibility I take seriously.
Schlatt: Dr. Fauci, there have been various conspiracy theories and misinformation circulating during the pandemic. How do you handle such misinformation and communicate effectively with the public?
Dr. Fauci: Schlatt, combating misinformation is a constant challenge. I believe in transparent and clear communication based on scientific evidence. It's crucial to address misinformation promptly and provide accurate information to the public to empower them to make informed decisions.
Aztro: Dr. Fauci, as we move forward and strive to recover from the pandemic, what lessons have we learned, and how can we be better prepared for future health crises?
Dr. Fauci: Aztro, one of the most important lessons is the necessity of a robust and coordinated global response to emerging health threats. We must strengthen public health infrastructure, invest in research and development, and promote collaboration and cooperation among nations to ensure we are better prepared for future challenges.
Mika: Dr. Fauci, before we wrap up, is there any message you'd like to share with our audience?
Dr. Fauci: Absolutely, Mika. I want to emphasize the importance of following trusted scientific guidance, getting vaccinated, and continuing to practice public health measures. We're not out of the woods yet, but together, we can overcome this pandemic and build a healthier, safer future.
Schlatt: Dr. Fauci, thank you so much for joining us today and sharing your insights. Your dedication to public health is truly inspiring.
Dr. Fauci: Thank you, Schlatt. It's been a pleasure being here with you all. Keep up the great work on the Sleep Deprived Podcast, and let's continue working towards a healthier world.
As the interview with Dr. Fauci comes to an end, the hosts of the Sleep Deprived Podcast express their gratitude for his valuable insights and dedication to public health. The conversation serves as an opportunity to address important pandemic-related topics and promote the importance of following trusted scientific guidance. The interview concludes on a positive note, leaving the audience inspired and motivated to navigate the ongoing challenges with resilience and unity.

I have a divorce on the way which means I'm living back home with lovely Nmom and enabler step dad hooray! I've only been here a month and geez I want to run away at the ripe age of 25! She came home today from work and I knew she had a bad day because she started to poke at me. She LOVESSS to micromanage my sister and I! So, one of the first things out of her mouth is "did you schedule that appointment yet?" I could go into detail about how the appointment isn't urgent and how I'm plenty responsible but I'm sure you get it. Why does a dumb, simple question like that bug me so much? Oh it doesn't, if it was genuinely out of concern or curiosity. When I replied with "no but I will tomorrow" a nostalgic groan coupled with critical silence came from Nmom... which I know means I'm getting negatively judged. This is something that has happened to my and sister and I constantly our whole lives! And I'm already emotionally overwhelmed and stressed from my failed marriage and the last thing I wanna put up with is a snarky narcissist trying to feel big by pushing me down!!! I'm angry! And I know that she's gonna keep doing crap like this till we're are usual arguing daily selves because she's freaking psycho and loves stress!!! I'm so pissed... and I'm broke so that's just the lovely cherry on top! Yippee!!!

I'm currently deciding between INTP and INFJ. (or even ISTP?) I'm sure that i use the Fe-Ti axis, but i have no idea if i use Ne-Si or Ni-Se.
i think I don't use Si much. i dislike unnecessary details when people tell me about something, and i get bored when they repeat the same story over and over again because it's "funny". people associate Si as subjective impressions, and i can never relate to that. when an experience is there, i enjoy it as it is, and I don't link my past experiences to any present ones. my roommate is a very obvious Si dom, she's one who is careful and don't take risks, plan things carefully and tend to achieve them. other than that, the way she experiences things is interesting because she always has something from the past to relate to the experience she's having at that moment. it's like she's always reminded about her past, and very nostalgic. i have no idea if i have Si lower in my stack (like an INTP) or that I don't have Si in my stacks at all (like an INFJ).
for Ni, i have trouble understanding it. for now what i know about it is that it's also about past experiences, but it's more unconscious and they pick up past patterns easily and apply it in the future, it's more about concepts instead of subjective impressions. they also associate Ni as someone who has a long term vision about something, good at planning stuffs. while i myself is someone who just goes with the flow of things, yes sometimes i do plan, but I don't necessarily follow it too. i view plans as something that gives me some kind of direction, I'm not very goal-oriented and I'm not good at maintaining habits or routine-y stuffs too. i do have a future plan in my mind (like just for a few years after my diploma), but it's very vague and I don't think much about it, because the future is unknown and I don't feel the need to plan everything out, i need to see how it goes in life first.
Ne: I don't think I'm good at brainstorming on the spot, like i need more time to think about things. sometimes i can think of the possibilities of why people behave that way, instead of judging people for their actions first. for example people would be venting to me very angrily, while i would say things like "what if she...? could it be that...? it's possible that...?". I'm also good at "improvising" stuff, if someone made a mistake about something, I don't get frustrated but I'd think of another way to make up for it. i also like novelty and originality, i dislike following what most people do, instead i like to let my imagination run free and create something that i personally can be satisfied with it.
Se: I'm not open with new experiences. I don't really see the point of it and I'm kinda afraid of it. (well life is still full of experiences so I'm coping lol). people would be eager to try something new, while I don't really have the drive for that, unless it's useful for me in some way or that i can get something out of that experience. I can't really relate to Se-grip? the way they indulge in sensory experiences, I don't think I've ever done that during stress, I become more emotional and anxious when I'm stressed, while i still try to think, but I can't because I might be emotionally overwhelmed. though I don't think i believe in grips so idk.
furthermore, people describe inferior Fe as someone who could not detect the emotional atmosphere around them, and sometimes can be quite "blunt" when communicating with people. i don't think I'm that oblivious to the atmosphere around me, and I'm not inclined to say something blunt to people. if i have to give criticisms to people, I'd still be more considerate of their feelings first. but sometimes i find myself struggling with Fe too because i feel like it's hard to connect with people deeply sometimes. plus I'm someone who is quite quiet and passive, i just don't talk much. so i have no idea if it's Fe auxillary or Fe inferior. I don't feel confident in using Fe.

Previous Chapter<
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While she was cooling off, Zekes scanned through the rest of the pictures. Many pictures were of her during her training and one interesting picture was of a thin woman dressed in layers of white clothing and a thick vein covered her face, except for her jaws which were made out of polished wood. She was sitting on top of a big wooden board that was carried around by four ladies in decorated clothing as the surrounding people bowed to her.
But the one that caught his eye the most was of her holding the hands of a little boy as he gently caressed a baby she was cradling.
“Are those your kids?” He asked politely.
“Huh?” The question caught her off guard. She brought the crystal panel closer to her eyes so that she could make out what he was referring to. “Ahh. That is my firstborn Tetku and the little one is Layla. I had forgotten how tiny were her hands back when she was a cure little thing. How would her tiny digits would reach for my hair like how earthworms reach for the surface during the rain. Then little Tektu would call out for me ‘Quaza, Quaza, I want to be carried too.’ Poor thing couldn’t even spell out my whole name. He would always get jealous of the attention I would give little Layla and would stump his foot around in protest till I patted him.”
It has only just now crossed his mind that even though he had been talking with her for a good while now, he still didn’t know his name.
“Quaza?” He subconsciously repeated.
“Ah right, I hadn’t properly introduced myself, since I don’t usually need to with customers. I am Quazela Ruminari, a pupil of the Mystic mother, a disciple of Kitsu-xan’s palm thread flow dance, and now a small-time merchant of whatever place that keeps my pocket furthest from devoidness of jinn for the month.”
Zekes considered that an introduction from him would also be in order.
“I am Zekes Zeller, a…” No title appropriate for him came to mind. “An aspiring strong person.” He replied in a serious tone.
“An aspiring strong person, really?” She chuckled. “Now that is a first. I am sure you will accomplish great endeavors worthy of many more titles of similar taste.” She joked.
Zekes took a moment to consider the appropriate reaction here and only after careful consideration, he replied with a smile full of innocence.
“Thanks.”
Quazela started wheezing from laughter when she saw how her words of sarcasm passed right over his head. Zekes still stood there dumbfounded wondering why she was laughing, which in return made her laugh more. He was really quite gullible, even for a kid.
“You really are something, kid.” She whipped the tears from her eyes. “To tell the truth, you somewhat remind me of my son Tektu when he was your age. Always such a show-off just like his father, talking about grand ambitions and accomplishing unfeasible deeds, but in truth, people couldn’t help but end up liking him for it.” She pleasantly thought back.
“Why did they like him? Did he end up doing the stuff he talked about?”
“I wouldn’t know since a few months after I had my daughter, he had to leave for the village of Oxobia to help his family escape from the Judic expansion. Half a year later I received a letter from him explaining how he was safely back with his family, but that they were reluctant to leave their home, so he was staying a bit more to convince them to change their mind. But only a few days later news came to us about the Oxobian massacre. Thousands of people dead at the hands of the Insurrection and that was the last I heard from him.”
Sympathy overwhelmed Zekes’ eyes as the Quaza recounted her unfortunate memory.
“But I am sure he still wouldn’t have accomplished any of the things that he said he would. Since that man was nothing but talk.” She criticized him in a nostalgic tone.
She let out a heartfelt sigh.
“It was a terrible thing what they did to those people. They were humble and very hospitable people. There used to be a common saying ‘Even a bastard can feel the warmth of a mother’s meal in the hospitality of an Oxobian’. They would give anything they had to anyone who was in need at no cost, but the Judians demanded from them the only thing they couldn’t forfeit, their identity. The world really did forget a unique way of kindness on that unfortunate day.”
“They seemed like good people. I am sorry about what happened to you and your husband.”
“Pay it no mind, kid. I made my peace with it a long time ago, even though the ache is never gone, you learn to grow into a more tolerant person because of it. Since at the end of the day, you have no other choice but to live on with it.”
As Zekes was about to mutter something he stopped. The old lady felt his hesitancy.
“Don’t fear to inquire, boy. I may look delicate, but my nerves are made of silk. And I know that you won’t ask anything out of malice. Go ahead, so that you may learn from me now rather than on your own, for then it would be too late.”
Her words of encouragement seemed to have reached him when she noticed that his gaze no longer shied away towards the floor.
“ So umm… if you were close to becoming one of the jaws, why did you stop?” The question finally came through. It was only natural to ask after the bombshell of finding out that she had quit despite how she loved to ramble about all the wonders of her birthplace and all the memories she seemed to have made there. “From the way you talk about Nami-Kuni and the arts, you seem to have loved it very much. If so, then why did you leave in the first place?”
Quazela took a deep breath, looking towards the sky as she plundered for a moment.
“Because I had wronged someone dear to me, which in turn has tormented my daughter. I was the vilest of the foulest. I had forsaken my responsibilities as a fortune weaver and as a mother. Though my daughter says she forgives me, I know I am underserving of any forgiveness. Who am I to request, let alone demand such a thing?”
“I think it is a stupid reason.” He ruthlessly interjected. ”If she said she forgives you, then you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. I never got to know my mom, but I still miss her and sometimes I hate how she was not a part of my life, but my uncle told me that it is important to forgive mothers, even when they do something wrong because no matter what happens they always try their best for you.”
The way Zekes poured out his heart through his words without a thought strangely struck a string with the old lady. “You are too forgiving for your own good, kid. But maybe this time it is a good thing. I have lived too long through hardship that my sight has grown blind to see that forgiveness could be so easily earned in people’s hearts. The part of me that did died with my-“ She felt a knot in her through, as if the more she tried to speak the more her heart tightened her airway. She coughed and thrust her fist upon her chest.
“Quaza-“ But before he could cry out, she put her palm in front of him to make it clear that she was fine and then cleared her throat.
“I am sorry, the years weren’t kind on my throat. It may be hard to believe but in my youth, I would sing to myself for hours, but now I can barely get more than a prayer in before gasping for air.”
“That is not true. You speak a lot for someone as old as you.” Despite his good intentions, it was clear that Zekes wasn’t the best at formulating his words.
Her face grimaced at the kid’s poor choice of words. “You must be pretty popular with the ladies. I will try to take what you said as a compliment.”
She sighed even more as Zekes’ blunt expression gave it away that he didn’t entirely understand what she had meant, but then ultimately decided that he said something good as he responded with a dumbfounded smile.
“I think we have conversed enough for one day. I didn’t even notice how much time had passed since we started talking. It is almost noon by now. Even if you may not be very talented in fate weaving, you really know how to make an old lady put her guard down. Anyhow, I can feel your fortune is ready by how much heat the diffusion glass is giving off. Let’s not delay what you stayed for any further.”
“Now, before we continue any further, I must warn you that the blessing of the mystic mother does not tell falsehoods. As such, you may not like what you may find out. A wisdom that I have gotten to learn throughout the years is that an ignorant mind is more restless than one which knows of its own helplessness. So there is no shame in looking the other way if you choose to.”
“No way, old lady. I already waited long enough for this. Just show me already.”
“Hmph.” The haste with which he ignored her warning, only made her scoff. “Alright, but remember, you wanted this.” She raised her head at him as her hands nibbly unclothed the disk.
“Wow. I have never seen Beucara in the shape of neat little black lines before.” Zekes eyes glamoured at the simple shapes inside the glass disk.
“What are you on abou-“ Quazela’s stomach dropped the moment she looked down at Zekes’ fortune. A streak of sharp dark lines floated undisturbed in the diffusion glass. They all ran parallel to each other, marching endlessly into the infinite. It was a pattern that she had the misfortune of seeing only once before, one that took away her purpose. It was an omen of a fatal choice that was to come. One that people could rarely overcome. As a fortune weaver, it was no special occasion to end predicting the fortune of those at the brink of death, as the false hope of comfort was most appealingly to damned men, though none would be comforted with what they refused to believe but also begrudgingly knew or so she had gotten to learn.
But this was no diseased noble, nor a fleeing fool, she was reading the fortune of a child! It was practically a death sentence. The fortune itself was for a while thought to have meant certain doom because of how no one lived long enough to see their fortune change, that was until against all odds, a man somehow clung to life and overcame the invitation of death, but by the end of it, he was a very different person from who he had been, or so she had heard. As for who this man was, the one who told his fortune refused to disclose his identity, which put many minds to doubt the validity of such a claim, and our beliefs would have stayed the same if it wasn’t for the mystic mother who herself confirmed their statement.
She had already lost a child to such a dreadful fate. To lose another would be too much for her weak heart. But what could she do? Who was she to challenge the fates designed by a sacred-.
“So what does it say I will become like?” Zekes demanded as the wait irritated him.
Cold sweat dripped down the old woman’s forehead. “Ah … Y-yes, let's see what it says.” She took a deep breath to calm herself down and started chanting a prayer as she hovered her hands over the disk. Slowly, the perfectly cut lines dissipated back into a blob of gases, however, its color didn’t change back. Of course, all of this was unnecessary as she already knew what fate they told of. She only did it because she couldn’t stand the sight of that dreadful pattern, looking at it only made her curse herself more for being a fortune weaver.
Zekes waited patiently as his eyes pressured her into an answer. How could she tell such a young soul that soon enough it couldn’t make memories of youth, that it wouldn’t have the chance to experience a life that it burned to live through? No one with a good conscience would even dare to rob such a soul of what pleasure there was in what little life they had left. So why did feel so guilty the last time she did it?
But alas, she couldn’t help but make the same mistake once more.
“Ah, it is all clear to me now.” She delayed time by building up the suspense. “Your worth … it has been judged in the eyes of the mystic mother and she has determined … that though you are ambitious, what you seek shall come to you in time, but for now, you must rest and store strength and experience joy for what life is worth as to prepare for hardships that come your way.”
Zekes slowly blinked with his wide googly eyes. Quaza hoped that this could clench the clueless boy’s curiosity and that would be the end of that.
“I knew this was all a sham.” His gaze dropped quickly.
“Wha- it is not. You better watch what you say about the sacred arts, boy, lest you wanna disrespect the mystic lady.”
“You say that yet the fortune you gave me was so vague that it sounded more like general life advice.”
“GAH!” She was taken aback by his perceptive reaction. From the way he acted before she had taken him to be very gullible, but it seems that he had a keen eye, especially when it was least fortunate for her. Yet she still wanted to spare him from worrying about the inevitable. “You really can’t help being a handful all the time. I wish I could tell you more about your fate but this is all I have to work with. Sometimes, the fortune is vague due to one having infinite potential. If it were to guess how you will tread, then it would limit your growth to that one path.” She desperately tried to convince him.
Zekes stroke his chin as he gave her words some thought.
“Makes … sense I guess.” He lit up, letting Quaza breathe out a sigh of relief.
“So I will become powerful?
“Have you not been-“ Her frail hands stroke the tabletop. She put her finger on the bridge of her nose to relax. “Yes, boy. You shall become strong, but only if you are patient and spend what time you have left enjoying your life.”
“What time I have left?” Zekes cocked his head to the side from confusion.
“The time you have left til you become powerful, that is what I meant.” She hastily corrected her misshape before she let out a hesitant laugh.
Zekes still wondered how he would end up so strong if he barely needed to do anything, but at least now he was sure that it would happen. Perhaps that would allow him to return to his uncle sooner.
“Thanks, lady.”
“Yea, yea. Nice of you to go around thanking people for distinguishing fires that you started.” She mocked him as she lowered the crystal disk into a bucket of water next to her.
“I do really mean it though.” His brow furrowed. He had not been used to being mocked this much before and took it as if she really didn’t like him.
“I am just jesting ya, kid. You outta learn how to joke if you wanna get along other people.”
“But how does making fun of someone makes them want to be your friend?”
“I mean … if someone …” She wanted to guide this poor innocent soul, but her patience and energy were running short. “I suppose the best way to understand is for you to experience it yourself.”
“Alright…” Though he had forfeited, it was clear to her that doubt still lingered in Zekes’ mind, the kind that filled you with shame for admitting your naiveness.
“I can see that today has taken a toll on you, boy. If you still feel like all of this was for naught, then let me leave you with a parting gift.”
“Really? … I mean thank you … no I mean no. Uncle told me not to take things from strangers.”
“Oh come on, boy. Don’t you think we are more than just strangers by now? You made this poor lady pour her heart out for you for gods’ sake. But also would a stranger give you a gift as valuable as a functional blessed necklace?” She argued before pulling out a string necklace with a teardrop-shaped glass attached to it, enveloped in a swirling cast of metal.
“Come forward, let me put it on you.” She held it open with her hands.
Zekes was hesitant at first, but considering how kind Quaza has been to him the whole time, he had no reason to refuse.
“There you go. See if you like it.”
Zekes held the teardrop in his hand to inspect it.
“It is quite nice.”
“It does more than just being quite nice. Wrap your hand around it and try to squeeze some Beucara into it.”
The moment he focused on the crystal a faint light shimmered between his palm. As he opened his hand, the crystal faintly shined in a glamorous light.
“That one has been blessed by an actual Aurasis, the proof is in it working.”
“This one only?” He questioned as he looked around at the other ornaments laid out on the table.
She indicated to Zekes to come closer.
“Well, you see. My other ones were also blessed by an Aurasis, but they were blessed with properties that don’t really work on them. For example, this one here was blessed with accelerated healing, but a metal bracelet is not a living thing, so there is no way for it to heal. People have this misconception that when you bless an object with something, the blessing will also transfer to its holder. But your necklace was blessed with the ability to shine, that is why when it feels your Beucara, it reacts with it and activates the dormant blessing.” She proudly gave him a thumbs up.
“So are all the other ornaments a scam?”
“Call it what you want. But I sell what I advertise. Some people don’t even bother getting through the trouble of getting them blessed. Know that, even if my bracelets don’t provide agonizing souls accelerated healing, it does give them the peace of mind that there is something with them that could help them.”
“That is one twisted way to make sense of it, but I think I can understand how it can be a good thing.”
“As long as no harm is inflicted, people should help themselves to whatever they wanna buy.”
His attention was once again on the crystal he had cupped his hands around it to see how bright it shined. Its size was deceptively small for how bright it shined. He estimated that it would at least let him see where he was stepping even during a moonless night.
“Are .. are you sure you wanna give this to me? I mean it must be pretty valuable seeing how it works in front of you.” He was hesitant to ask at first for fear of her changing her mind, but the thought of him taking away something potentially quite valuable from her would have made him feel even more guilty if he didn’t try to give it back.
“Oh please, that piece of junk has been sitting in my bag for the last 2 times I returned to Nami-Kuni. I would rather have you rid me of it than have to carry it around 2 more times before throwing it away.”
The way the crystal was shaped reminded him of how droplets of water that were left stranded on blades of grass after a rainstorm refracted the light of sunrise into a tiny rainbow. Even he could appreciate its simplistic beauty.
“Thank you very much, old lady- I mean Miss Quaza.” The way he said it so sincerely was different from how he talked before and managed to ease off Quazela.
“Think nothing of it, kid.” She scratched the back of her neck, feeling a bit flustered. “Just make sure to pass off the act of kindness when you get the chance. The world only gives back to those who take little for themselves. Now get going and don’t make me repeat myself again.”
“I will try my best. Thank you for letting me be in your care” He jumped down his stool.
“Anytime, kid. If you happen to need to buy some ornaments, you know where to find me. Though, I can’t promise you any discounts.”
Her words didn’t land on deaf ears, but Zekes was too preoccupied with the excitement of showing Rafik his new necklace to respond back to her.
The busy streets felt strangely quiet to Quaza once she was once again all by herself. As she relaxed her shoulders, her eyes couldn’t help but wander towards the diffusing glass that she had sunken into the bucket of water. The cloud of dark matter slowly dispensed into the water before quickly decaying.
Her brows frowned at the thought of that kind-hearted boy having to meet his end in due time, she hoped that he would at least experience a bit of the youth kids were entitled to before that time would come. This is why she doesn’t wanna do fate weaving anymore, she never wanted to spread sorrow through her work, but it was her duty to speak the truth. And the moment she decided to read a kid’s fate, she was greeted back with open arms by a grim reminder. This must be fate’s way of mocking her.
“Old lady,” A familiar voice boomed so unexpectedly that it broke her train of thought. It was Zekes who had barely walked more than a few stalls distance away.”Please make up with your daughter by the next time we meet.”
“You fool of a child; do you want the whole bazaar to hear you?!?!.” She angrily cried out. “Fine, but you better not forget about me by then.”
Zekes lifted up the necklace between his finger. “I won’t as long as I have go-“
The warm farewell was cut short as Zekes’ arm suddenly dropped down. It may have been just a moment, but by pure chance, his eyes saw a figure looming in the alley behind the old lady’s shack. He could barely make out their face under their dark hood, but the bit he could make out looked just like his uncle’s face. But how could that make any sense? Rafik had told him that he had gone on some sort of trip, he would have surely accompanied them if this was where he had to come. So it couldn’t be him … no, it had to be him, he was sure of it. There was no way he could mistake someone else for his uncle. Perhaps he regretted leaving him with Rafik and had come for him. Yes, that had to be it.
“Kid?” Quazela waved a worried hand.
The figure suddenly withdrew back into the darkness from where it came. Zekes instinctively walked forwards.
“Wait, uncle. Don’t leave me.”
His feet began picking up pace and in just a moment he quickly sprinted past the old lady.
“Stop for a moment, kid. Don’t go running into there alone. You will get kidnapped.” She shouted, but he had gone into the alley before she could even finish her warning.
“What could that rascal be up to now?”
A grim thought crossed her mind as she remembered the fortune she had just told.
“No way, but it is so soon.” She mumbled to herself.
The boy was marching to his own grave. Of course, she had no proof that he would end up in harm’s way at this very moment. But she felt something that was more than just worry by the look on his face when he ran. She could not just overlook it, even if there was only a slim chance that his fate could be resolved this soon.
She rushed towards the alley.
“Kid, you will die if you don’t come back.” She desperately cried out but it was too late as she couldn’t even see him anymore. Thoughts races through her head as she considered what she could do, but before she could decide two cloaked figures rushed past her into the dark alley.
“Hey, stop you two.” She reached out her hand. There was no way for her to catch up to them, they had disappeared into the darkness in the blink of an eye.
They were going after Zekes. They were gonna kill him. She had to call the guards before his time ran out. He won’t let another boy die due to her hesitation.
“Guards, guards. Please help. Someone is gonna die. Help me, please.” She cried out into the busy street.
​
Previous Chapter<
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Footnote: I must apologize for the wide time gap between the release of this chapter and the previous one. At first, I had intended for this to be a short chapter, but a little bit into it, I realized how much future build up I could make here, but in return I had to put more work into it and give the characters a more natural conversation. I also got busy with university which slowed me down significantly, though this might not chance soon, I will try to post new chapters more frequently. I have so many more stories, ideas and concepts I still wanna share with you all. But from here on out, things will be getting a lot more dark. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy Quazela rambling her old ass off. Thank you for you continued support.<3

Hi! (sorry in advance for my bad english! I am not a native speaker, I've tried my best to translate).
For all the artists out there, who work with their own mind, sitting at a desk, looking at a blank sheet, tracing the lines of their drawing or the verses of their story, how do you evaluate the "experience"? Let's explain ourselves better: in life, experience of something could be of two different types: real and Imaginary.

Experience

Real: the experience is lived, you go on a journey, you stay with people, in a certain place, where you experience real sensations, and all this, which we enclose in the word "real experience", is a an experience that truly remains within us, and that we recall through nostalgic memories. This makes us a person who grows through these real experiences and enriches their lives. Just think of a traveller, or a farmer: both make their life a "real" experience, even if they live their lives differently.
Imaginary: the experience is virtual, one sits in a real place, still, making the mind to work, which through the processing of images, manages to create the "imaginary experience". The process is sometimes very exciting, fast-paced, and sometimes the opposite, frustrating and slow. Sometimes we have the idea of having had an enlightenment that we must put on paper as soon as possible, and otherwise, we feel like we want to die.
The main difference between real and imaginary experience is that man enriches his life in two distinct ways: actively or passively.
A creative person choose the "imaginary" experience over the "real" one, to live his life immersed in a world he created, rather than living in the real one. For example sitting at a desk for 8, 9 or 10 hours throwing out the world that you have created in your head, rather than going to live the real world, have the experience of making friends, discovering new cultures, languages, traditions, it's a really different thing, and it brings home a totally different baggage.
With this, there is not saying that one way of life is better than the other, not even criticizing those who live one way or the other, but we'd like to better understand what is the reason that drives some people to prefer one to the other? What kind of weight do these different baggages have on our life? How can they enrich it differently?

Reason

Here we are not trying to find an economic reason for it, but rather, we are trying to understand why some people prefer, encourage, and live, for most of the time of their life, in the imaginary experience, instead of the real one, therefore rather than being active, resourceful, open-minded, they cut themselves off in a certain space, and use their time on this planet passively. In the case of a writer - sitting or standing makes no difference as long as it is a case of writing the words for a story, on a support, whether it is paper or not - same thing goes for a drawing artist, like a comic artist, a painter; it's a diffucult question, that at my young age, I haven't been able to answer on my own, but which I have repeatedly tried to do so, being a creative too and having had the opportunity to have lived both real and imaginary experiences. There are times when our life tells us to sit and have imaginary experiences, and other times when we are seated, that we should get up and have real experiences. But you don't necessarily have to be creative to be able to understand a little what is meant by the speech; just open a book and wander through the hobbit lands, or feel that adrenaline rush when you are taken into an imaginary tale. On the other hand, going to your most favourite beach or mountain place, will make you feel the positive sensation.
Furthermore, it would be impossible to strike a balance between the two; so in our life, it's about doing one, or the other. Be a real or imaginary person. But even if it were, the question would fit this particular circumstance: which of the two gets a "richer" life: the traveler, occasional creative, or the creative, occasional traveler?
(let's consider applying this to a comic/manga artist, painter, writer life, which even if they are doing some little phisical activity, they still sit at a desk working with their mind mostly.)

Hi! (sorry in advance for my bad english! I am not a native speaker, I've tried my best to translate).
For all the artists out there, who work with their own mind, sitting at a desk, looking at a blank sheet, tracing the lines of their drawing or the verses of their story, how do you evaluate the "experience"? Let's explain ourselves better: in life, experience of something could be of two different types: real and Imaginary.

Experience

Real: the experience is lived, you go on a journey, you stay with people, in a certain place, where you experience real sensations, and all this, which we enclose in the word "real experience", is a an experience that truly remains within us, and that we recall through nostalgic memories. This makes us a person who grows through these real experiences and enriches their lives. Just think of a traveller, or a farmer: both make their life a "real" experience, even if they live their lives differently.
Imaginary: the experience is virtual, one sits in a real place, still, making the mind to work, which through the processing of images, manages to create the "imaginary experience". The process is sometimes very exciting, fast-paced, and sometimes the opposite, frustrating and slow. Sometimes we have the idea of having had an enlightenment that we must put on paper as soon as possible, and otherwise, we feel like we want to die.
The main difference between real and imaginary experience is that man enriches his life in two distinct ways: actively or passively.
A creative person choose the "imaginary" experience over the "real" one, to live his life immersed in a world he created, rather than living in the real one. For example sitting at a desk for 8, 9 or 10 hours throwing out the world that you have created in your head, rather than going to live the real world, have the experience of making friends, discovering new cultures, languages, traditions, it's a really different thing, and it brings home a totally different baggage.
With this, there is not saying that one way of life is better than the other, not even criticizing those who live one way or the other, but we'd like to better understand what is the reason that drives some people to prefer one to the other? What kind of weight do these different baggages have on our life? How can they enrich it differently?

Reason

Here we are not trying to find an economic reason for it, but rather, we are trying to understand why some people prefer, encourage, and live, for most of the time of their life, in the imaginary experience, instead of the real one, therefore rather than being active, resourceful, open-minded, they cut themselves off in a certain space, and use their time on this planet passively. In the case of a writer - sitting or standing makes no difference as long as it is a case of writing the words for a story, on a support, whether it is paper or not - same thing goes for a drawing artist, like a comic artist, a painter; it's a diffucult question, that at my young age, I haven't been able to answer on my own, but which I have repeatedly tried to do so, being a creative too and having had the opportunity to have lived both real and imaginary experiences. There are times when our life tells us to sit and have imaginary experiences, and other times when we are seated, that we should get up and have real experiences. But you don't necessarily have to be creative to be able to understand a little what is meant by the speech; just open a book and wander through the hobbit lands, or feel that adrenaline rush when you are taken into an imaginary tale. On the other hand, going to your most favourite beach or mountain place, will make you feel the positive sensation.
Furthermore, it would be impossible to strike a balance between the two; so in our life, it's about doing one, or the other. Be a real or imaginary person. But even if it were, the question would fit this particular circumstance: which of the two gets a "richer" life: the traveler, occasional creative, or the creative, occasional traveler?
(let's consider applying this to a comic/manga artist, painter, writer life, which even if they are doing some little phisical activity, they still sit at a desk working with their mind mostly.)

Hi! (sorry in advance for my bad english! I am not a native speaker, I've tried my best to translate).
For all the artists out there, who work with their own mind, sitting at a desk, looking at a blank sheet, tracing the lines of their drawing or the verses of their story, how do you evaluate the "experience"? Let's explain ourselves better: in life, experience of something could be of two different types: real and Imaginary.

Experience

Real: the experience is lived, you go on a journey, you stay with people, in a certain place, where you experience real sensations, and all this, which we enclose in the word "real experience", is a an experience that truly remains within us, and that we recall through nostalgic memories. This makes us a person who grows through these real experiences and enriches their lives. Just think of a traveller, or a farmer: both make their life a "real" experience, even if they live their lives differently.
Imaginary: the experience is virtual, one sits in a real place, still, making the mind to work, which through the processing of images, manages to create the "imaginary experience". The process is sometimes very exciting, fast-paced, and sometimes the opposite, frustrating and slow. Sometimes we have the idea of having had an enlightenment that we must put on paper as soon as possible, and otherwise, we feel like we want to die.
The main difference between real and imaginary experience is that man enriches his life in two distinct ways: actively or passively.
A creative person choose the "imaginary" experience over the "real" one, to live his life immersed in a world he created, rather than living in the real one. For example sitting at a desk for 8, 9 or 10 hours throwing out the world that you have created in your head, rather than going to live the real world, have the experience of making friends, discovering new cultures, languages, traditions, it's a really different thing, and it brings home a totally different baggage.
With this, there is not saying that one way of life is better than the other, not even criticizing those who live one way or the other, but we'd like to better understand what is the reason that drives some people to prefer one to the other? What kind of weight do these different baggages have on our life? How can they enrich it differently?

Reason

Here we are not trying to find an economic reason for it, but rather, we are trying to understand why some people prefer, encourage, and live, for most of the time of their life, in the imaginary experience, instead of the real one, therefore rather than being active, resourceful, open-minded, they cut themselves off in a certain space, and use their time on this planet passively. In the case of a writer - sitting or standing makes no difference as long as it is a case of writing the words for a story, on a support, whether it is paper or not - same thing goes for a drawing artist, like a comic artist, a painter; it's a diffucult question, that at my young age, I haven't been able to answer on my own, but which I have repeatedly tried to do so, being a creative too and having had the opportunity to have lived both real and imaginary experiences. There are times when our life tells us to sit and have imaginary experiences, and other times when we are seated, that we should get up and have real experiences. But you don't necessarily have to be creative to be able to understand a little what is meant by the speech; just open a book and wander through the hobbit lands, or feel that adrenaline rush when you are taken into an imaginary tale. On the other hand, going to your most favourite beach or mountain place, will make you feel the positive sensation.
Furthermore, it would be impossible to strike a balance between the two; so in our life, it's about doing one, or the other. Be a real or imaginary person. But even if it were, the question would fit this particular circumstance: which of the two gets a "richer" life: the traveler, occasional creative, or the creative, occasional traveler?
(let's consider applying this to a comic/manga artist, painter, writer life, which even if they are doing some little phisical activity, they still sit at a desk working with their mind mostly.)

****EXTREMELY IMPORTANT EDIT: I did NOT expect this post to blow up so much so I just need to make something very clear. This post was about how I felt that people didn’t understand that the old UI had to be ditched (IN TECHNICAL TERMS, NOT IN STYLE) and that an update was needed. THIS POST WAS NOT ME COMPLAINING ABOUT PEOPLD DISLIKING THE STYLE. Let me say it one more time for the people in back: IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE STYLE THAT’S FINE. This post was ONLY intended for people who couldn’t seem to grasp why we had to update the UI in the first place (again, NOT ABOUT STYLE).
There is so much hate for the new UI and I understand change is difficult ESPECIALLY when it holds nostalgic value (I myself have been playing for about 10 years) but I feel people don’t understand is that there NEEDED to be a change to the UI to bring the features people have been wanting (for example, more slots for different types of tack, more inventory space, more closet space, horse bonding etc.) I keep on seeing comments like “we didn’t ask for this” yes you inadvertently did. If you want these new features, we need a new UI. There has to be a compromise, either new features and new UI or no new features and old UI. If you don’t like the new UI because you just don’t like the style that’s okay, but saying that this change wasn’t asked for is flat out wrong. Normally I’m not a SSO defender, but I feel this hate is getting out of hand. There’s a massive difference between constructive criticism (which is a good thing) and just flat out hate. Constructive criticism is fantastic and I think we need more of it because a lot of the “constructive criticism” that this new UI has bring is just rude and unhelpful.

Research question: Intuitive vs. Sensor, who is more nostalgic to familiar music?
Background research: Nostalgia is a sentimental longing for a period for the past. In terms of music psychology, it has not been tested in terms of MBTI and music evoked nostalgia at all. Due to lack of previous research, my research is exploratory with non directional hypotheses.
Hypotheses: H1: The difference in level of reported nostalgia felt will be statistically significant between intuitive and sensing participants. H2: The difference in level of reported nostalgia felt will be statistically significant between participants of different type families. H3: the difference in level of reported nostalgia felt will be statistically significant between participants of different MBTI types.
Methods: Design: Exploratory due to lack of previous research. MBTI type, type family and intuitive vs sensing are the quasi-independent variables.
Participants: 268 overall participants after 46 being excluded for either not knowing their MBTI type or not knowing the song chosen. A priori factor analysis was conducted, the sample obtained had enough statistical power for the intuitive vs sensor condition and for the type family condition, but not the individual MBTI condition - which may lead to type II error. The age range was between 18-62. Slight majority of women at 51%, men at 42%, the rest being a third gender or preferred not to say. The majority ethnic race was White other (42%), followed by White British (14%), mixed race (10%), all other ethnic groups covered 30% and 6% preferred not to say. 76% of participants did not grow up in the UK, 17% did, 3% partially and 1% preferred not to say. The grown up in the UK question was used to test the international recognisability of the song chosen and since MBTI is an international subreddit, global participation was inevitable.
Apparatus and materials: The study was conducted on Qualtrics. The song chosen was Thrift shop (ft Wanz) by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis. Why? It’s over 10 years old so a distant memory for most people and in 2013 (10 years ago exactly) it was number 1 on global charts so most people who did the study would know it. Nostalgia was measured on a 5-point Likert Scale. Likert scales are a good universal method of quantitative data collection method. “Red herring” emotions were places around it to disguise the purpose of the study. These were calm, happy, confident, sad, angry, anxious and bored.
Procedure: Participants read the information sheet and consented to participate. They were asked to disclose their MBTI type and then listen to the audio of Thrift Shop. After this, they rated their emotions after the song. They were then asked all the demographic questions. Finally they were debriefed.
Results: Intuitive vs sensor: A t-test was conducted. There was a significant difference between intuitive and sensing personalities in nostalgia felt. Intuitives are more nostalgic than sensors. Control t-tests were done. No other emotion were effected by intuitive vs sensing. This result is unique to nostalgia.
Type families: An ANOVA was conducted. There was a significant difference between type families and nostalgia felt. A post hoc Tukey HSD pairwise comparison was conducted on this and found that diplomats are significantly different to explorers. When ranked, diplomats are most nostalgic, followed by analysts, then sentinels, and explorers are least nostalgic. Control ANOVAs were conducted, it was found that type family was also related to happiness - post hoc found that it was diplomats and analysts that significantly differed from one another.
Individual MBTI types: A Kruskal-Wallis test was conducted (non-parametric ANOVA) due to the sample violating the assumption of normality AND the sample size not meeting the standard statistical power. There was no significant difference between individual MBTI types and nostalgia felt. Control Kruskal-Wallis tests were done, there were no other significant comparisons.
Discussion:. Literature found that the reason for intuitives (and the two intuitive type families) being more nostalgic is due to increased imagination and creativity amongst that group of people.
Individual MBTI may not have had a significant result due to low statistical power, leading to Type II error rather than actual insignificance.
Nostalgia and happiness may be linked in the type family condition as literature has found that these two emotions often predict one another and have a mutually beneficial relationship.
The findings are useful for the realm of marketing and nostalgia marketing in particular. Selectively advertising to people who are more susceptible to nostalgia can help efficiently allocate resources (money) for greater return due to something called “emotional purchasing”
Main criticism is in the theory. I don’t know if people typed themselves using cognitive functions or The Big Five Inventory. As my participants are from MBTI I’d hope many will have used cognitive functions but there’s no way of me being able to check. This could become confounding and should be worked on in the future.
Methodologically, I’d change 5-point Likert scales to 7-point to increase reliability.
I’d also add the Nostalgia Proneness Index as it is a well known psychological index that can allow for compatibility of the results.
In the future (and if I had a higher word count) I would include song choices depending on musical eras using the same selection method to reduce personal preferences from getting in the way.
I’d also want to get a higher sample, not only to increase the power for the individual MBTI analysis but also have enough people for an unfamiliar song condition (for those who didn’t know the song).
Thank you for reading. Any questions?

Below is my analytical - yet ultimately subjective - ranking of every season of One Tree Hill. Anyone else share similar opinions? This second part includes the seasons I rank in the middle 3 spots.

1. Season 7 - I’ve seen this season get criticized for both the absences of Lucas and Peyton and the less-relatable plotlines. In regards to the former, I was actually fine with their departures because their story ended on a satisfying note in the previous season and the remaining characters/plots were strong enough to maintain the intrigue and entertainment value of the series. While Lucas/Peyton started the show as the central couple, that title was passed on to Nathan/Haley rather quickly and persisted as such for the rest of the show’s run, and Nathan and Haley - both as a couple and as individual characters - became the main anchors of One Tree Hill. Then there was Brooke, whose story was left the most open-ended at season 6’s finale. Therefore, Lucas and Peyton’s journey could be concluded more reasonably than anyone else’s in the Core 5 at this point in the series (in my opinion). As for the less-relatable plotlines, I was okay with this as well for a few reasons: (1) the events of the previous 6 seasons led to the characters reaching this place in their lives, so these larger-than-life storylines felt like they were built from someplace believable (Nathan’s NBA career, Haley’s music career, Brooke gaining 100% of her company); (2) the show had already produced 6 years and 130 episodes of content, so the tonal change in the beginning of this season breathed new life into this long-running series and was a welcome change of pace for the time being; (3) even though the story arcs, themselves, were more outlandish, they were grounded in relatable emotions and character interactions (e.g. Nathan’s highly-publicized scandal being an outlandish plot and the emotional struggle for him and his family being what grounded it); and (4) while the season started off with these types of storylines, it eventually reverted back to more relatable ones, such as Brooke’s fertility issues, Lydia’s death, and Haley’s depression. Overall, I thought season 7 was very enjoyable and consisted of a lot of good stuff, like Dan’s somewhat-indelicate attempt at redemption, pretty much all of the Brooke/Julian storylines, Clay’s backstory, and the James Family drama. I, also, liked the new additions to the cast; Julian going from recurring to main character was a good decision, Nathan and Clay’s friendship and business relationship was interesting, and Haley and Quinn’s sisterly relationship was nice as well. I didn’t care for some of the smaller plots, though, such as the Skills/Lauren/Mouth love triangle; this show really didn’t need another love triangle, especially another one involving a friendship betrayal.
   
2. Season 8 - This is another season that gets quite a bit of criticism, this time for being primarily lighthearted in tone and for consisting of several “filler” episodes (a.k.a. the holiday episodes). But just like with season 7, the reasons some people disliked this season are the reasons why I loved it. After multiple seasons of hardships and heavy drama, it was nice to see the characters happy and having fun most of the time. The holiday episodes may not have done much to push overarching plot threads forward, but they allowed viewers to observe the days in the lives of these characters during special events that many of us can relate to, events that remind us of special times in our lives. Episodes like Brooke’s wedding and Haley’s daughter’s birth were similarly nostalgic and reminiscent and joyous, with the pleasant incorporation of clips from past moments in the series (and these clips simply added to the episodes rather than taking them over, which I appreciated as well). Even with the high volume of sentimental and effervescent content, there was still room for intense drama (such as the storm episode, which was one of the higher-stakes episodes of the show) and sad moments (such as Brooke and Julian’s adoption plans falling through at the last minute), both of which were well done. Aside from what I have already mentioned, there were a number of other things I enjoyed about this season, such as Haley working for the crisis hotline, Brooke’s conflicts with Sylvia, The Hangover tribute episode, Chase bonding with Chuck, and Nathan and Clay working together (even though I did think that Nathan should have gotten more than one year in the NBA considering how hard he had worked to get there). Still, the storylines weren’t as ample or layered as those in other seasons, so I couldn’t justify placing this season any higher, but it’s an enjoyable season nonetheless. The whole season just felt like a celebration of life, love, the big and little moments, friendship, cherished memories, and happiness. It served as a reminder to be grateful for all of the blessings in life and to appreciate the beauty that is all around us. It may not consist of the most complex or compelling storylines, but I cannot help but be entertained and satisfied by season 8.
   
3. Season 6 - This season had plenty of strong episodes and story arcs, and it was the best post-high school season of the show. It started off especially intense with Brooke’s brutal attack, Q’s murder, and Dan being held hostage by a psychopath for several episodes, but somehow it worked well for the normally-uplifting One Tree Hill. I was captivated by the darker tone, but I appreciated how these episodes were balanced out with more hopeful and romantic storylines as well. Highlights of this installment include the continuing-saga of Nathan’s comeback, Brooke fostering Sam, Lucas attempting to make his book into a film, Brooke and Julian’s blossoming love story, Peyton’s pregnancy, and Haley re-entering the music scene. The finale was awesome and could have served as a satisfying series finale, although I’m glad it wasn’t since I really enjoyed seasons 7 and 8. The Deb/Skills relationship could have been really cringeworthy, but it was short-lived and mostly played for laughs, so I was okay with it. I, also, got a kick out of how they made Skills being into older women a running joke. A few of the plotlines were duds, though, such as Lucas making the Ravens forfeit their games as some type of tribute to Q; the idea that sacrificing the basketball season would somehow honor Q was just absurd, and the message here was pretty convoluted considering how hard Q pushed Nathan to achieve his own basketball ambitions. I wasn’t a fan of Peyton discovering her biological father either; I usually liked the storylines involving Peyton’s family, but this one was kind of boring and forgettable. However, the good stuff in this season outweighed the bad by miles. It was a great mix of drama, mystery, romance, comedy, interesting family dynamics, self-referential content, overcoming obstacles, and happy endings - all the things I loved about One Tree Hill.
   

I originally wanted to post this in /relationship_advice, but kept getting deleted for asking for moral judgement. I know this sub has a similar rule, so i hope I'm not violating it, but i don't think I'm asking purely for simple reassurance. I would like some honest to god advice and guidance, or even reprimand XD
Using an old throwaway account cuz i don't know who might see this, so i hope that explains the poor karma and history.
At the time of this post I am (29M)
So honestly, i imagine the situation I'm in right now is not so unique, but i honestly have no idea how to proceed, so pls help reddit people
So i guess a little backstory, just for context. A little more than two years ago, in the first covid winter, I was dumped pretty suddenly by my SO of about 3 years. I'd known her through college, but we only began a "serious" relationship after we'd both graduated. Overall we'd known and been at least friendly and sometimes intimate with each other for about 7 years. The relationship was long distance, however, and covid restrictions only exacerbated that difficulty. Long story short, she revealed to me that she had been seeing someone else during our covid related longterm separation, and she'd decided to pursue that relationship instead. Literally that sudden and final. I'll admit it did a pretty critical blow to my psyche during a time when i (like I assume many people were) was not very well grounded emotionally and mentally to begin with.
I'll yada yada a bit so as to get to the main issue at hand, but overall the experience hurt me incredibly deeply and for a long time completely wrecked my willingness and indeed my ability to trust and emotionally connect with people. I became super isolated, and watched with some apathy at the time as many other bridges in my life burned around me. I'm not proud of how i acted, but i was in no way sound of mind and emotion at the time, so lately I've been trying to forgive myself too.
Fast forward to March of last year. A little more than a year after my breakup, and around the time i heard my ex was getting married to the guy she left me for. Well wishes, and all that. I'd finally gotten to the point where I was trying to build connections again, and i started with old acquaintances who i hadn't spoken with for a long time, some since college. One of these people being a woman (28F) who I'd once been in an extracurricular club with long ago back in college. We'd been passing close, and although I'd always liked her and enjoyed her company, we'd always seemed to pass through different social circles aside from directly club related interactions. At the time, although I found her attractive and fun, i was mostly friends (and admittedly a romantic admirer) of one of her close friends, and that was how our relationship at the time existed.
I reached out to her with an old joke i remembered we'd shared, not expecting much given our mostly cordial relationship in the past. But she almost immediately reached back, and with such a surprising warmth and compassion that before long i found myself spilling my badly bruised guts to her about everything i felt and where i found myself in life at the time. In return, she began to share with me her own struggles, namely that she was trapped in an unhappy and at times emotionally abusive relationship. Its not my place to go into the close details, but suffice to say she was an objectively good person whose partner had convinced her that she was basically dirt lucky to be tracked into his house on his shoes.
Ill be completely honest here: i related really personally with a lot of her feelings of self doubt and loss of meaning in the relationship. I saw in her a lot myself at my own worst after my breakup. I wanted to help her, truly and without artifice, to see that she was so much more than what her situation had reduced her to. In essence, i wanted to be for her what i felt no one had been for me when i was at my most lost and hopeless. I swear i had no ulterior goal in mind at the time. I just saw someone i thought i could help, maybe, and i didn't want her to feel as lost as i had. And in truth, in trying to help her, i felt i could at least apply some meaning to my own emotional suffering. Even if i couldn't save myself, at least i could be part of her safety net.
So that's what i endeavored to be. I gave her truly heartfelt words of affirmation, chiding when she forgave her partner for things she shouldn't have (imo), and tried to remind her often enough what she meant to people outside of her romantic life. I really tried to be what in retrospect i wished someone had been for me. I was wary of developing any sort of savior complex. I made sure to remind myself that I'm no hero here, that ultimately whether she saved herself from this relationship or not was up to her choices and actions, and that I'm only a small and distant part of her life, existing only in texts and phonecalls. I'd learned already about the shockingly ephemeral nature of long distance, electronic communication based relationships anyway.
Along the way however, i came to realize how much our interests coincided with each other. She was easy to talk to in a way no one had been for a long time. I never felt like i needed to contrive topics for us to talk about, like i did with so many others, and similarly i never felt embarrassed to share things with her, both personal and irrelevant, that i would have otherwise kept to myself in fear of alienating the other party. We shared personal stories, participated in writing exercises with one another, sent photos (some of which i couldn't exactly say would be completely sfw, though they were more artsy than erotic), and indulged in our shared professional passions.
I wasn't trying to develop feelings for her. I don't think i was looking for excuses to try and fall for someone again. Like i said, i was especially wary because there was distance between us physically, and I am in no way super interested in trying something long distance again. And in the meantime, locally, I had been going on dates and trying to meet new people, just without much success and no "clicks."
My feelings for her were muddled for some time, and honestly i didn't really want to explore them. This changed after visiting her in person, finally, after about a year of contact. Nothing romantic or sexual happened. In fact, over the few nights i was there, she spent one of them with her partner (though at the time, without again going into much detail, things were "complicated" and they "weren't actually dating"). But for me, i think it solidified something inside, like a weight dropping into my gut. She was so much fun to spend time with, and to talk to. It wasn't just some strange parasocial thing that only existed in text and phone call. I don't know. I think for the first time then i acknowledged that my attachment to her might've become something more than just platonic. I'd gone out with other women in the meantime, but for the first time i found all my bitterly nostalgic thoughts of my ex were being completely replaced by thoughts of someone new.
Maybe this all sounds just like normal friend stuff but honestly this type of relationship doesnt happen for me with just friends. I haven't gotten this close with someone not just since my last relationship but including many years before that too. Outside of my ex, this is the deepest relationship I've had since my days in freshman and sophomore years of college, when i was a completely different person. Recently, it seems she finally broke up with her partner. At least it seems to be permanent, and she seems to be adamant that its over between them. I'm hopeful, in that I've seen her for the first time acknowledge that she felt like a worse person when they were together and that his behavior made her feel awful more often than it made her feel happy. I'm elated, but i now feel guilty about my reaction. I want to be her supporter, and I tell myself that i can be happy no matter what she decides to do with single life or who, if anyone, she may decide to pursue next (as long as they're better than this last one). I truly do have a personal emotional stake in purely seeing her find some happy ending. But now there's a part of me that wishes it could be with me.
I've spoken mostly about myself and my feels here, but obviously this isn't just me trying to cast myself as the sole character. For her part, she hasn't made any explicit indication that she is interested in me in that light. Or at least i don't think so. Maybe that's the big weight that sinks this whole thing and makes everything you've read a waste of time lol. But then again, I also have not made any advances myself that, i think, would indicate that i was interested in anything other than the status quo either. And in any case, she's just gone through her own major breakup and i know as well as anyone how long it can take to recover from that, and how new advances are probably not exactly something at the top of her list of wants atm. I obviously want to respect that. I don't plan on not being her friend through this, and have told myself I'll be ok even if she hits a rebound or five. Im honestly not really concerned w her sexual history anyway.
To be honest, I am afraid of losing the relationship we already have. She's one of if not the most important person in my life, beating out a lot of my local connects even though she and i are purely long distance communique. This is a long fuckin story mostly to ask reddit; how should i approach the future of our relationship? I think i might love this woman. She means more to me than anyone since my ex, and if I'm being honest i think i enjoy spending time with her even more than i did my ex. But at the same time, i feel like by pursuing that i'd be betraying a relationship built on mutual openness and unconditional support. Im clearly not good at casual dating. And my last longterm relationship was pretty not "normal" by most peoples standards. So i also kind of worry I'm just mistaking mutual trust and support for romantic love just because I've really.. not gotten much of either of those things before and don't confidently know the difference.
If anyone makes it through all this, just give me your fairest thoughts. Honestly i could just be making mountains out of molehills here, but i want to move forward in a way that she and i can both be happy, so i just need someone else to see what I'm thinking and yell at me one way or another. Thank you in advance. Tl;drl - I helped an old acquaintance get through a difficult breakup after going through a difficult breakup of my own, and tho i started with purely noble intentions, i may have fallen in love with her by the end and don't know what to do

A messy and confusing family fantasy James Bond spoof that has clear effort, but lack of structure or direction.
In Medieval France, a young prince named Frederic (Edmund Kingsley) is taught by his father the Magician King (Michal Hordern) various spells and lives a happy life with him. Unbeknownst to Frederic and the King, the King's jealous sister, Messina (Billie Whitelaw), is planning to kill the king and usurp the power of the throne having already arranged for the death of Frederic's mother some year's back using her black magic. Messina disguises herself as a serpent and scares the King's horse and the King dies as a result of her actions. Messina is left as the kingdom's ruler with Frederic as his ward til he comes of age, but Messina uses her magic to transform Frederic into a frog and reveals her true intentions. Frederic is saved by a chance encounter with the Loch Ness monster, Nessie (Phyllis Logan), and Messina is forced to retreat. Sometime later Frederic has grown (now voiced by Ben Kingsley) and is now the French Secret Serivde's top secret agent Freddie aka F. R. O.7. Britain is beset by a series of disappearances of its most famous monuments and with the British Secret Service lacking in manpower, its head Brigadier G (Nigel Hawthorne) requests the French government loan Freddie to them. Freddie is teamed with two other agents, martial artist Daffers (Jenny Agutter) who also has a crush on Freddie, and weapons inventor Scotty (John Sessions). As the group investigate the disappearance of the monuments they come to discover the culprits are a criminal organization known as The Snake which is lead by Freddie's aunt Messina and her husband El Supremo (Brian Blessed) who are bent on taking over Britain using the latent energy hidden within its monuments with grander sights on world domination.
Freddie as F. R. O.7 (aka Freddie the Frog) was one of many animated films released throughout the 90s that tried to capitalize on the revised interest in theatrical animation that began in the 80s with Don Bluth's films An American Tail and Land Before Time and exploded with the likes of Who Framed Roger Rabbit and The Little Mermaid. While many animated Disney films were massively successful such as Aladdin which became the highest grossing film of 1992, non-Disney productions tended to struggle with misfires like Ferngully: The Last Rainforest and An American Tail: Fivel Goes West failing to light any fires at the box office, or foreign animations like Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland, The Princess and the Goblin, or The Magic Voyage primed for international appeal only to fizzle out due to either distribution problems or production issues. South London-based Hollywood Road Films was an independent animation studio whose writeproducedirector Jon Acevski based the film off the bedtime stories he'd tell his child about the adventures his stuffed animal frog toy had and unfortunately that becomes really apparent. While as an animated production it doesn't carry the same weight and polish as contemporary Disney productions or even Amblimation movies of the time like Fivel Goes West or We're Back, it does look a cut above some animated features I've seen, but the script is a mess and there's only so much that the bevy of high profile British talent can bring to get a purse from a Sow's ear.
To describe the plot of Freddie as F. R. O.7 (or Freddie the Frog as it was called in the SGE re-edit in 1995) is akin to describing a fever dream. What starts in a typical "fairy tale kingdom" goes to a jazzy community of anthropomorphic frogs, which in turn goes to a fantastical take on Bond/eurospy tropes and finally to borderline Star Wars type settings that if you were to show individual stretches of this film out of context to someone unfamiliar with it, odds are they wouldn't believe those segments were from the same film. The movie has a very loose narrative and that makes sense considering Acevski told these kinds of adventure stories to his young child about his stuffed frog toy, but that kind of loose narrative is okay when it's being told to a half-asleep child whose age is in the low single digits and not for a theatrical animated film that needs to have a greater sense of cohesion for the audience to grasp onto. With its mixture of spy tropes, fairy tale tropes, and some rather questionable innuendos, double entendres, and some jaw dropping scenes involving (no joke) dancing Klansman and foot soldiers dressed in Nazi chic, it's the kind of movie that's too busy and complicated for kids to follow, but it's also too shallow and non sensical for adults to get engaged with either. Speaking of the dancing Klansman and Nazis, the movie is also a musical and quite a bad one at that. Most of the songs are either bland or forgettable, and when they do happen they're usually dead stops that do absolutely nothing to further the story (what little there is anyway). Evilmania is the song featuring the Klansman and Nazis and outside of the "What!?" factor it's a pretty shapeless song where Billie Whiteclaw isn't even really singing and is more speaking while the song plays with no sense of rhythm or melody.
I will say there's an impressive cast on paper. The movie features an absolute dream cast of some of Britain's best with the likes of Ben Kingsley, Brian Blessed, Jonathan Pryce, Nigel Hawthorne, and a few others and you couldn't ask for a better line-up of talent. Kingsley sounds like he's having fun playing up the French "hon! Hon! Hon!" stereotypical voice which is like a more restrained Pepe le Pew in terms of subtlety, but most of the other members of the cast are just filling types and places. Nigel Hawthorne's character Brigadier G has a particularly bad running gag of constantly getting tangled up in phone cords and inadvertently insulting high ranking government officials or foreign dignitaries and they do this gag four times and it never builds upon it or does anything different with it. Most of the set pieces that aren't related to the monument thefts just feel like "visual noise" that's well animated enough I suppose, but there's no narrative drive pushing us through these set pieces and the emotional core is rather lacking with Messina having killed both of Freddie's parents but Freddie doesn't seem all that engaged with her as an antagonist.
Freddie as F. R. O.7 has remained relatively obscure since its financial and critical failure in 1992 and that's rather unfortunate because while the movie doesn't work, it's utterly fascinating in why it doesn't work. With head scratching creative choices, a story that feels like it began as a mad lib, a cast made up of some of Britain's finest actors, and elements like dancing Nazis and Klansmen odds are you've never seen anything try so hard while falling face first. In an era where many European produced animated features are thinly veiled Shrek knock-offs there's something almost nostalgic about movies like this that serve as a reminder of how much the animation landscape has changed. I can't say it's "good" but you'll remember it. To date the movie hasn't been released on DVD, Blu-ray, or digital storefronts, but the film does survive from the old VHS rips on Youtube. It's only about 79 minutes long so not a terribly costly time investment.

Sequence 9: Amnesiac: - Photographic Memory: Your memory become detached into different threads. Your mind would become something similar to a theater, constantly playing different memories (movies) of different period. You can easily lose your memory if you don’t watch the movies inside your mind constantly. It is very easy to lose control if one lost themselves inside the film and can’t escape. Beyonders of this Pathway have a unique method of losing controls, instead of transforming into a monsters, their film-like minds would constantly playing films of the things that is happening around them in a black and white world to them in their minds, as they just simply fainted forever in reality. - Memory Search: Look into the memory of the target to see what they experience. You can only look into their memory if they allow it or they have lost their consciousness. You can look into a maximum period of a week.
Sequence 8: Archivist (Recorder): - Photographic Memory: You can now keep your movies in separate folder, for example when you’re young or old. Movies in folder will be played continuously as the way you placed them, but the folder will be chosen randomly. If you fully digest the potion then you can choose a memories you want to see by using all of your power. - Memory Search: You can now forcefully see someone memories but you can only see 1 days at most if you use this method. If someone accept it for faints, you can see one month of their memory. If you touch an object, you can also see the “memory” of the object. The “memory” let you see what the object has been through, who is the target’s previous owner and if the object is broken, what is the original use of the object. - Record: You can record the information about an object inside your mind in a folder. This folder is also a film which you can see it any times you want. Acting Method: Find ancient object, see the “memory” of said object and try to make the object look likes the past or restore the damaged part. Then, preserve it either inside your mind.
Sequence 7: Chronophotographer (Repeated Memories): - Photographic Memory: You can now choose to see what movies you want to see, but it would drain you greatly. You can now also choose to take a “pictures” of your memory and store it with Records. These pieces of memory can be accessed any time to see what it is. When watching the movies, you can choose to pause it or slow it down to observe the movies more carefully. - Memory Search: Being forceful would let you see a week at most. Faint or being allowed would be a year worth of memory. You can now see the memory of the object clearer and understand more about the objects. - Chronophotography: You can create a dozen after-images of an object or yourself which could easily confuse the opponent because they don’t know what is real and what is an after image. You can also made the after images do different action than you are right now to trick the opponent. You can also create the after images of the opponent to confuse them for a moment. Acting Method: Watch your memories slowly and try to gain a better understanding of yourself. You should watch the old memories first then watch the new ones later to see how you changed and what is different from you now and you in the past.
Sequence 6: Memento Collector: - Photographic Memory: You can now choose a movie to watch without losing too much power or energy. If you interact with items that had appear in your films, your ability to choose movies and the power to interact with memories increase. - Memories Search -> Memories Edit: If you do it forcefully, you can see one month of their memories. But if they faint or allow it, you can see 5 year to the past. If you have good understanding about the target, you can edit their memories, or made their memories disappear completely. - Memories Search -> Memento of The Past: When you read the “memory” of an item, you would gain very high understanding over it and you can utilize it better. If you have perfectly observe all of its memories, you can even negate the negative effects of some Sealed Artifacts. If the object is broken or even on the verge of disappearing completely, if you look at its memory and gain perfect understanding over it, you can visit the places that said object has appear in the past to made the object slowly “regain” its memory. If the object has recover all of its lost memories, the object that is broken previously has already become perfect again. It will regain all of its power and all of its context written in it. Acting Method: Visit different places that hold memory of different object and slowly reconstruct broken objects by giving them lost memory.
Sequence 5: Silent Picture: Ritual Process: Look at all of your movies and then removing sounds from all of them by the power of Memories Edit. - In this Sequence, you can’t talk. - Photographic Memory: All of your movies are now silent, there won’t be a sound happening in them at all. With the power of silent, you can observe the surroundings better and gain better control of yourself. - Memory Edit: Forcefully would let you see a years while allow or fainted would let you see 10 years. You can silence all of their memory, which would result in the targets become deaf and mute. - Memento of the Past: You can made certain items ‘muted’ for a period of times, making its effect weaker than normal but its negative effect would disappear for a certain periods. - Chronophotography: You can now create hundreds of afterimages which could easily confuse the opponent and making them unable to find the real one. You can hide in the afterimages and attack them when they’re unaware. - Silent Picture: Your signature ability. After using the ability, you would make a barrier that separates reality and your world. Inside your world, there is only black and white, there are no other colors. Inside your world, no one would be able to talk except for Demigod. Your ability is boosted in this periods, but your Photographic Memories would constantly give you a lot of memories in a short period of times which could override your current thoughts. Acting Method: Don’t act like a muted person. Act like an actor inside a no sound movies. It is not that you cannot speak, it is that you choose not to. If you could made a large crowd of peoples unable to speak but they act like they are normal, your potion would digest quickly.
Sequence 4: Cameraman (Chronologer): Ritual Process: Records a life of a single person, from life to death. They must at least lives for 50 years. The more impactful their lives are, the higher chance of success. You cannot interact with them by any means and can only records their life. - Photographic Memory: You can now separate movies into different series. One series can be a biography about yourself, while the other is a biography of another person. You can now easily choose what film to watch and what memories to recall. Yet, you still can’t escape the pain and trauma of the past haunting you. When you reach Sequence 4, all of your original memory will be recover and you can’t edit it by any way now. Your memories would stay the same ‘til the rest of your lives. - Records: You can now records the memory of a person and can stuff them all into a folder. You can observe what memories are there after obtaining it. This process took more amount of times the larger the memories are so you should only need to record a certain period, not every memories of them. - Memories Edit: Forcefully would give you 10 years while allow or fainted would let you see 50 years. You can now choose to filter the information and only see what you want to see. - Flashback: Use your power to make a person see all of their lives constantly broadcast right before their eyes, letting all the trauma and pain resurface making them heading toward losing control. If they can’t escape the trauma, they would be stuck in the flashbacks forever. - Chronophotography: Make several thousand afterimages appear beside you so you can easily trick the opponent without much efforts. Mythical Creature Form: Your eye become distant and your minds become chaotic. A lot of information about the world enter your mind which some of them is extremely dangerous that can corrupt anyone that see you but also corrupt yourself. Acting Method: You records people and make movies or biography about them. If you change anything in the book, you can lose control easier. The books or movies should be correct in most part and is only difference in some small parts. The more people known about it, the better the digestion.
Sequence 3: Déjà Vu (Nostalgic Warden): Ritual Process: Make a grand event (at least 200 year in the past) that you had saw resurface again. - Photographic Memory: You can now organize your memories better and gain complete control for them, but your memories can’t be changed, just hidden. For example if someone attempt to read your memories they would be presented by a scene you choose from your memory. - Memories Edit: If you choose to see someone’s memories forcefully, you could see 50 years of their lives. If they accept or fainted, you can see 100 years of their life. You can now edit their memory into a deeper level like making them forgot who they are, changing their whole identity or even made they believe that they are just a normal person without any Beyonder’s power. You can also made their memories directly contradict with their Beyonder’s acting to make them lose control immediately. - Memento of the Past -> Echo of the Past: Now, the power to see lifeless items increase from just seeing the past of an items to seeing the memories of everything in a big piece of land. You can observe what had happened in the pieces of land that you are watching, see the memory of the people in the past which could bypass anti divination. You can now also observe the “echo” of the people. When time is moving forward, all things constantly leaves echo of their past behind and continue to progress with their lives, leaving echoes behind. You can now see those echoes and can see all of the memory that the echoes hold. If you understand all the memories in the place that you are standing on, your vitality and strength would be boost greatly. - Records: You can now records “echo” from the past. If you record them and see the current state of the “echoes”, you can release the echo and let it merge with its current state, making living things gain duplicate knowledge which could lead to a long stun or even brain-dead. - Chronophotography: You can now read the memories of the afterimages, but the memories they contain is just a small amount compare to the original person. Even so, if you can’t touch or getting near the target to read its memories, you can summon afterimages of it to read the memories. - Silent Pictures -> Ancient Pictures: Your world now isn’t in the color of black and white, it is now in the color of gray. Everyone inside the pictures would rapidly ages and leave behind echoes in an astonishing speed. Acting Method: You’re not someone of the current era, but simply an echo from the past. The more familiar you are to the present, the closer you are to lost control. In order to be in the past that you once lives, you would continue to read the memories of ancient object to feels like you’re in the past again.
Sequence 2: Sentinel of Retrospection: Ritual Process: After achieving a grand achievement in the past that would become a legends among peoples, complete said achievement again but look at all the mistakes you make last time and make this achievement better and have less flaws compare to the last one. When you consume the potion, your mind wouldn’t be able to see the past and present, and it would be confuse. After seeing in the records of the past and the present, and seeing that your name are rapidly spreading everywhere in both the past and the present, it would be confused on whether where to go. But after seeing the achievement in the present was greater, your mind assemble again and become whole again. - Photographic Memory + Records => Historic Memory: Your memories now expand beyond boundary and make your “movies theater” become larger and can contains more. Now, every time you look at memories of an object or a person perfectly and grasp all of their natures and can act like that person or understand how to negate and use the Artifact to the greatest degree, a movies slot would be added. You can now become the person that you have understand perfectly without flaws. You can fit at least 4 more person in your movies slot. - Memories Edit: If you touch someone, you can perfectly grasp all of their memory. Even if they attempt to hide it, you still can see all of them without fails. The memories you see would be the target’s true memory. You can edit the target memory into a deeper level. You can now made the target’s new memory their true memory. Their old memory would be lost forever, and no matter what happens, every attempt to look at the target memory would let them see the edited memory and trying bring back the target’s old memory is close to impossible. - Echo of The Past: You would now see echo of everything that exist, and you could now use some of your power of the echo. You could read the memories of the echo that you touch, but you can only see the memories up to when the echo is leaves and can’t see the owner current memory. Note: Echo doesn’t leaves more Echo. - Records: All the things you record can be made into a film if you can gather enough memories about it. You would gain power depending on the film that you created with all the memories. For example, if you create a film about a rock, you can made your skin rock-hard. - Chronophotography: You can now make an afterimages become an actual living being for a short time. If you decide to separate this way, the amount of afterimages you can make would be less. You can even make your afterimages fight and use your power like a clone, but all the amount of spirituality that the afterimages spent would still be taken from you. If you decide to make Sequence 2 afterimages, you can only make 1, and each can appear for 5 seconds at most. Sequence 3, 2, 10 seconds. 4, 3, 30 seconds. 5, 5, 1 minutes. 6, 8, 10 minutes. 7, 15, 30 minutes. 8, 30, 1 hour. 9, 60, 5 hours. If you want, you can only summon 1 Sequence 9 afterimages, but it would last for 300 hours. In the same manner, you can summon 1 Sequence 8 afterimages, and it would last 30 hours. - Retrospection: You can now summon peoples and items that you record in the past. If the things you send out is stronger than you, their power would be weaken greatly. The things you send out is the projection of the target in the past when you record them. If there are a lot of memory and a lot of echo around you. You can consume all of the echo around you and memory you kept to summon a projection of a buildings or even a piece of lands that you have record in the past. The more echo and memories you consume, the more realistic it would be and it can even last a long long time. Mythical Creature Form: You become a complex form of information. Everyone that see you would instantly receive an insane amount of information that is enough to instantly crush anyone below Sequence 3 and instantly making them losing control immediately. The longer you stay in this form, more and more information would be accumulate in your body, making you deadlier and deadlier by seconds. The longer you stay in this form, the easier for you to die and lose control, because the information would impact you the most. Acting Method: You are but a human from the past, lost from the passage of times. Even so, you don’t grief about the things that you have lost, the people that you have not seen in a long time. You keeps advance and advance, continue to enjoy the present. Because you still miss the past a little, making events that had happen in the past happen again would increase your digesting time.
Sequence 1: Aegis of Oblivion (Forgotten Angel): Ritual Process: Be forgotten. When you are forgotten, continue to record everything that you encounter until you can’t anymore (hit the limit of recording). When everything that you record also become history itself, drink the potion. When you consume the potion, you would slowly be lost in your memory until you can escape it, the madness won’t give you too much time, and would quickly made you lose control if you can’t escape fast enough. With the help of all the things that you record in your life, you can escape your memory maze. - You gain authority over [Memory]. - Historic Memory -> Ancient Records: Your memory expands beyond restrain, become insanely large making your head can store a large amount of information. Now, you can instantly see the memories you want and can store more than a thousand memories inside your head. When you store someone’s memory inside your head, you can use your power to trace where they are. If someone is forgotten but still alive, you can temporary teleport to them in a spiritual form to aid them in their works. When you keep records more and more, your spirituality would grow and grow, allowing even more information to be kept. - Echo from the Past + Retrospection + Records => Echoing Memory: You can now use the power of records to record echo of the past. When you have record an echo, you can utilize all of the power said echo has, or you can directly sacrifice the echo to use the power of Retrospection better. After you have record all of the memories of a person, you can also summon the echo of the person at full power and control the echo to your will. You can also grant the echo free will, if you do so, you can communicate with the echo like a normal person and it would also be free from your control. Even if you lost an important item, if you have records the echo of said item, you can easily utilize it again. If the item isn’t too strong or is not as strong as you, you can also summon multiples echo of the item to make the item even more devastating. - Chronophotography -> Echoing Photograph: Now, the afterimages make by your power isn’t actually afterimages anymore, every afterimages created by your Chronophotography is actually an echo and you can either grant free will to them, allow people that had fragile identity lost themselves in the madness, or you can control the echo allowing you to fight the target with the target’s power itself. The echoes created by this power won’t be as strong as the original but at most ½ power. - Retrospection -> A Call from the Past: You can now even send out echoes that you have lost in the past so you can record it again. Even if an item is destroy, reduced to nothing, if a faint traces of echo is left, you can use your power to record the echoes at its prime, allowing you to instantly grasp the owner of the destroyed echoes, or even summon the owner to aid you in critical moment, but echoes that are almost disappearing are either very old or very weak. If it’s the latter, you can make the echoes regain their power easily, but if it’s the former, it’s very hard to know if the owner had grown stronger or even survive. You can now also summon projection of a building or even a city even if you don’t have enough echoes or memories to sacrifice, but the projection won’t last long. If you sacrifice enough echoes and memories related to the buildings or city, it can last for years. - Forgotten Aegis: You can view if the things that you have record in the past still exist or had faded away. If it still exist, you can grant these things a form of protection that would allow you to exert a certain influence against people that are trying to harm or destroy the things that you have records. You can also make echoes near the person or items come into life and protect the person or items that you want to protect. If it had become history itself, you can gather all of the scatter echoes of said things, then you can combine all of them together, allowing you to make an incomplete echo of the things. You can also sacrifice some echoes and memories to make the things you want to recreate more stable and complete. By this way, you can revive things that have gone from the past. - Ancient Picture -> Oblivion Void: Separate reality and your world with a barriers. Inside the barriers, all of the echoes would be turn into nothing just as it was create, making a person slowly losing meaning of their life, as the proof of their past, the echo, all disappear. All the memories would also be deleted. The buildings and people inside the barrier would lost all of their past, making them turn into nothingness. You are immune to the effects Oblivion Void brings. The world was separate from reality, and any attempts of divination or tracking would easily be wipe and produce no results. The only way to evade this power was to constantly make echoes, and hold your memories tight so the void couldn’t delete it. Acting Process: You are someone forgotten by times, erased by history. Because of the loneliness, you wanted to protect and recreate traditions or landmarks that had disappeared.
Sequence 0: Akashic Records (Memorial): Ritual Process: Record everything that had happens in a continent until said continent got destroyed. - Your existence become a little stranger and weirder, you are there, but you are not there at the same time. You are a form of knowledge, you contains not every knowledge in the world, but most of them. - You can’t really fight because you are a living being but in the same time knowledge and concept. It’s hard to injure or even kills you. - You hold the authority over [Record]. You hold everything that you have saw inside you. Every things that had once happen in your planet, you know them all. Every piece of knowledge, every battles, every hidden god, you know all of them. - Records: You records everything you see, no matter what. Everything that you record would stay inside you and never left. Because you have record everything that had happen in the past and the present, you can accurately guess the future of your planet without the aid of fate. The only way this could gone wrong was existence from outside the boundary of your planet intefere, but you could gain more knowledge this way. Honorific Name: “Testament of All Progress Embodiment of Memory The Records of Existence”