I’m an avid traveler and I wanted to share my experience and answer any questions that other people may have. We left from LA to Thailand through Singapore with a meager 20 hours of travel time. Itinerary:
2 nights Bangkok: We underestimated how much the jet lag would affect us, we landed at 12pm on Saturday and slept from 2 pm until 7 am on Sunday. We checked out The Grand Palace, Chinatown & Centralworld on Sunday. It was brutally hot & humid and overall felt like a major disappointment.
2 Nights Siem Reap: I normally always do 1 country per trip but I couldn’t see myself doing Cambodia anytime soon and Angkor wat was high on my bucket list. Seeing the sunrise at Angkor was beautiful, we did it as a tour with Angkor Guide Sam. Sam was great can’t recommend him enough. We saw Ta Prohm and Angkor Thom and I actually liked Angkor Thom best! I’ve done a lot of digging and it seems like there are lots of good reports for Siem reap, I however was very disappointed. It’s a very poor city and has little infrastructure, the food we tried was underwhelming compared to Thailand and overall it felt extremely touristy. It may have been just where we explored but after reflecting on Siem reap I don’t personally think it’s worth the time and effort to tack it onto a Thailand journey.
4 nights Koh Samui - we were limited to the eastern islands due to monsoons and Chaweng is obviously very touristy. We stayed about 20 minute walk from the best bars and nightclubs which was great! We explored Ang Thong marine park and did a ATV tour to the highest point of Koh Samui. We also experienced the nightlife which truly was exceptional. We stayed in a touristy area so the food was not good and overpriced but besides that we thoroughly enjoyed Koh Samui for what it was and got to experience some great adventures.
4 nights Chiang Mai - a foodie paradise it seems, cheapest place we visited. We did Pooh’s eco trek which was an authentic unique experience staying with real Karen tribespeople. It was a great tour and once in a lifetime experience we also did a zip lining tour which was fun and included the only jungle roller coaster in the world. I would recommend five nights in Chiang mai. Beautiful city, so much charm at every corner and so many adventures spread all around the city.
3 nights Golden Triangle - we stayed at the Jungle Bubbles at Anantara that was priceless! Sleeping in a jungle with Elephants is one of those memories you carry with you to your deathbed, the cooking class was phenomenal and we also did a boat ride through and around the golden triangle in the Mekong River. If you can swing it, I think it’s worth every penny and was somehow unique, relaxing and adventurous all at the same time.
2 nights Bangkok - We stayed on Soi 11 and that made all the difference in the world. Smack dab in the middle of the action. Walkable to some of the best nightlife in the city and close to all the sights
Accommodations:
Bangkok- Doubletree Sukhumvit, in Phrom Phong, is close to the BTS which was a plus but overall it was a poor location far from everything. Decent property but I would not recommend staying at the doubletree due to the location. 3/10
Siem Reap - Templation Hotel, very cool hotel with a very cool outdoor bathroom and beautiful pool. Drinks were very very weak and food was very overpriced and underwhelming. The location is close to the temples but not the city, this made it difficult to get around. If you’re looking to explore the city this is a bad hotel if you’re looking to relax at the resort it may work! 5/10
Koh Samui, Sala Samui Chaweng Beach resort only 20 minute walk to the best nightlife in Chaweng and a beautiful hotel with great service, the breakfast was great and there is a grocery store & pharmacy right across the street to satisfy any cravings. There’s also a fire show on Saturday’s which is very cool. 8/10
Chiang Mai - Le Meridien, major construction at this hotel, pools were closed rooftop bar was closed, restaurant was closed we weren’t told this ahead of time which was disappointing. But it is right across the street from the night bazaar and walkable to most sights. 6.5/10
Golden Triangle- Anantara Golden Triangle, beautiful resort and world class service, from the massage and welcome gift at the beginning to the personalized touches spread throughout the rooms. The staff remembers your name, your orders and are prompt to respond to every request you may have. One of the best hotels I’ve ever stayed at 9.8/10
Bangkok - Aloft Sukhumvit 11 was a hip trendy relatively basic hotel, but what it lacked in charm it made up for in location. The perfect location to get around the city and there is so much to do directly around the hotel this is the place to stay if you like to be in the action. Location 10/10 Hotel 7.5/10
Getting around: Bangkok - Grab (App), BTS, Metro. Super easy to get around with google maps
Siem reap - Grab does not work at the airport, it’s only taxi’s/tuktuk’s and they are extremely expensive.
Koh Samui - Grab does not work here, lots of taxi’s looking to overcharge tourists but we mostly walked.
Chiang Mai - Taxi’s only from airport, we mostly used tuktuk’s to get around.
Restaurants/Bars/Clubs
Bangkok Rung Rueang Pork Noodle (Left Shop) - great tom yum soup and pork balls 7.5/10
Pastel Bar - food was ok, but the drinks were delicious, the views were immaculate and the vibe was awesome. Requires Reservations! 9/10
Koh Samui Sound Spot Samui - great DJ, strong drinks, the shows they put on were well worth it. 8.5/10
Prego Chaweng - Overpriced, poor service, poor food 2/10
Green Bird - touristy meh food, decent service 4/10
Chiang mai Ploen Ruedee Night Market - super cool market, live performances which were engaging. Good food 7.5/10
Khao Soi Lung Prakit Kad Kom - khan soi was incredible, it was packed 2:30 pm with locals. Highly recommend one of the best meals of the trip. 9/10
Chang Phueak Pork Leg Rice - The pork was moist and flavorful, the cabbage was robust. It was delicious, definitely go to Lung Prakit and this food stand while in Chiang Mai. 9.5/10
Khalo Soi Lamduan - recommended by a local, the khal soi was solid but not the best. 6.5/10
My travel style is unique experiences, food and sightseeing. Thailand had its highlights but for my style, I feel South America offers a lot more value.

I am currently just north of Boulder and have lived in the Rockies for a large part of my life> The winters and outdoor activities were great when I was younger, but now my body longer likes the cold.
I am looking for somewhere warmer closer to the ocean in the Southeast US. I lived in Florida (Panama City) as a young child - early 70's, and Norfolk, VA when I was in the Navy (I lived in Ghent). I will be working remote and making over $100k. I'm not much into the club/nightlife scene any more, but arts/museums, restaurants, good beaches would be nice. Eventual retirement goal is to buy a boat.
Thanks for your help

DETACHING FROM EMOTIONAL PAIN (GROUNDING)
Lisa Najavits, PhD
WHAT IS GROUNDING?
Grounding is a set of simple strategies to detach from emotional pain (for example, drug cravings,
self-harm impulses, anger, sadness). Distraction works by focusing outward on the external world—rather
than inward toward the self. You can also think of it as “distraction”, centering,” “a safe place,” looking
“outward,” or “healthy detachment.”
​
WHY DO GROUNDING?
When you are overwhelmed with emotional pain, you need a way to detach so that you can gain control
over your feelings and stay safe. As long as you are grounding, you cannot possibly use substances or hurt yourself. Grounding ‘anchors’ you to the present and to reality.
Many people with PTSD and substance abuse struggle with either feeling too much (overwhelming
emotions and memories) or too little (numbing and dissociation). In grounding, you attain balance
between the two—conscious of reality and able to tolerate it.
​
GUIDELINES
 Grounding can be done any time, any place, anywhere and no one has to know.
 Use grounding when you are: faced with a trigger, having a flashback, dissociating, having a
substance craving, or when your emotional pain goes above 6 (on a 0-10 scale). Grounding puts
healthy distance between you and these negative feelings.
 Keep your eyes open, scan the room, and turn the light on to stay in touch with the present.
 Rate your mood before and after to test whether it worked. Before grounding, rate your level of
 emotional pain (0-10, where 10 means “extreme pain”). Then re-rate it afterwards. Has it gone down?
 No talking about negative feelings or journal writing. You want to distract away from negative
 feelings, not get in touch with them.
 Stay neutral—no judgments of “good” and “bad’. For example, “The walls are blue; I dislike blue
because it reminds me of depression.” Simply say “The wafts are blue” and move on.
 Focus on the present, not the past or future.
 Note that grounding is not the same as relaxation training. Grounding is much more active, focuses
on distraction strategies and is intended to help extreme negative feelings. It is believed to be more.
effective for PTSD than relaxation training.
​
WAYS TO GROUND
Mental Grounding
♣ Describe your environment in detail using all your senses. For example, “The walls are white; there are
five pink chairs, there is a wooden bookshelf against the walt...” Describe objects, sounds, textures,
colors, smells, shapes, numbers and temperature. You can do this anywhere. For example, on the
subway: “I’m on the subway. I’ll see the river soon. Those are the windows. This is the bench. The
metal bar is silver. The subway map has four colors...”
♣ Play a “categories” game with yourself. Try to think of “types of dogs”, “jazz musicians”, “states that
begin with “A”, “cars”, “TV shows”, “writers”, “sports”, “songs”, “European cities.”
♣ Do an age progression. If you have regressed to a younger age (e.g., 8 years old), you can slowly work
your way backup (e.g., “I’m now 9”; “I’m now 10”; “I’m now 11”...) until you are back to your current
age.
♣ Describe an everyday activity in great detail. For example, describe a meal that you cook (e.g., First I
peel the potatoes and cut them into quarters, then I boil the water, I make an herb marinade of
oregano, basil, garlic, and olive oil...”).
♣ Imagine. Use an image: Glide along on skates away from your pain; change the TV channel to a better
show think of a wall as a buffer between you and your pain.
♣ Say a safety statement. ‘My name is _________; I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past.
​
I am located in _____________ the date is _____________.
♣ Read something, saying each word to yourself. Or read each letter backwards so that you focus or the
letters and not on the meaning of words.
♣ Use humor. Think of something funny to jolt yourself out of your mood.
♣ Count to 10 or say the alphabet very s..l..o..w..l..y.
♣ Repeat a favorite saying to yourself over and over (e.g., the Serenity Prayer).
​
Physical Grounding
 Run cool or warm water over your hands.
 Grab tightly onto your chair as hard as you can.
 Touch various objects around you: a pen. keys, your clothing, the table, the walls. Notice textures,
colors, materials, weight, temperature. Compare objects you touch: Is one colder? Lighter?
 Dip your heels into the floor— literally “grounding” them! Notice the tension centered in your heels as
you do this. Remind yourself that you are connected to the ground.
 Carry a ground object in your pocket—a small object (a small rock, clay, ring, piece of cloth or yarn)
that you can touch whenever you feel triggered.
 Jump up and down.
 Notice your body: The weight of your body in the chair; wiggling your toes in your socks; the feel of
your back against the chair. You are connected to the world.
 Stretch. Extend your fingers, arms or legs as far as you can; roll your head around.
 Walk slowly, noticing each footstep, saying “left,” “right” with each step.
 Eat something. Describe the flavors in detail to yourself.
 Focus on your breathing. Noticing each inhale and exhale. Repeat a pleasant word to yourself on each
inhale (for example, a favorite, color or a soothing word such as “safe” or “easy”).
Soothing Grounding
♥ Say kind statements, as if you were talking to a small child. E.g.. “You are a good person going through
a hard time. You’ll get through this.
♥ Think of favorites. Think of your favorite color, animal, season, food, time of day, TV show.
♥ Picture people you care about (e.g., your children; and look at photographs of them).
♥ Remember the words to an inspiring song, quotation or poem that makes you feel better (e.g.. the
Serenity Prayer).
♥ Remember a safe place. Describe a place that you find very soothing (perhaps the beach or mountains,
or a favorite room); focus on everything about that place—the sounds, colors, shapes, objects,
textures.
♥ Say a coping statement. “I can handle this”, “This feeling will pass.”
♥ Plan out a safe treat for yourself, such as a piece of candy, a nice dinner, or a warm bath.
♥ Think of things you are looking forward to in the next week. Perhaps time with a friend or going to a
movie.
​

WHAT IF GROUNDING DOESN’T WORK?

♠ Practice as often as possible. Even when you don’t “need” it, so that you’ll know it by heart.
♠ Practice faster. Speeding up the pace gets you focused on the outside world quickly.
♠ Try grounding for a Iooooooonnnng time (20-30 minutes). And, repeat, repeat, repeat.
♠ Try to notice whether you do better with “physical” or “mental” grounding.
♠ Create your own methods of grounding. Any method you make up may be worth much more than
those you read here because it is yours.
♠ Start grounding early in a negative mood cycle. Start when the substance craving just starts or when
you have just started having a flashback.
​
​
Copyright: Guilford Press (New York). From: Najavits LM. “Seeking Safety”: A Treatment Manual
for PTSD and Substance Abuse (in press). Cannot be reprinted without permission.

About Davidscloud: Davidscloud is a long-standing gaming community that believes in creating a place for all gamers to get together and enjoy playing various games together without worry of pay-to-win spoiling the enjoyment. Our community is friendly and works together to achieve a place everyone can find something to enjoy. Cloud City is a community of mature roleplayers who are looking to recruit other like-minded adults for some drama-free, action/comedy-rich roleplay. We have a special place in our hearts for people that are brand new to GTA RP. We’ve all been there ourselves, and know it can be hard to take that leap. We could be your first home, or your new one! Here, you’ll find a fully developed city with all the bells and whistles, with more on the way. Come join us, and see what all the fun is about!
Features: Something for everyone! -Fleshed out discord for members to hang out and communicate outside of roleplay. -QBCore framework -Actual custom content/scripts (written and actively worked on by our team). -Active Development with daily updates and planned DLCs -18+ populated city with men and women, at all hours of the day and night. Members from multiple continents. Drama and Greifer free, no shit lording tolerated. -200+ Imported Cars, 1500+ imported clothing items (Non-Esl) -Buy and customize your own house -Own/Stock/Price items at your own store -Available activities include restaurants, paintball, hunting, gambling, fishing, trucking, and more for civilian RP. Many more activities are coming in planned DLC's! -Hiring citizens for Local PD, State PD, Judges, Lawyers, Car Dealer, the highest paying jobs in the city -Unlimited business potentials! -Criminals can rob convenience stores, NPC's, Jewelry Stores and Banks. They can also start their own Gangs/Criminal Organizations -You can find and craft items and weapons at locations all across the State -You can find, cultivate, process and sell Weed, Coke, Meth, Heroin, Vicodin, LSD! -You can chop cars for useful and valuable parts! -A 30-day daily rewards system that rewards money, weapons, and vehicles -Free Casino spins every 24 hours for a chance to win casino chips, money, and vehicles, if you're lucky
How to get started: Join the fun! 1.) FiveM Server Address: Search “Cloud City RP” in FiveM and connect. No whitelist application needed. 2.) Join us on Discord at: https://discord.gg/wDPY5yr​

About Davidscloud: Davidscloud is a long-standing gaming community that believes in creating a place for all gamers to get together and enjoy playing various games together without worry of pay-to-win spoiling the enjoyment. Our community is friendly and works together to achieve a place everyone can find something to enjoy. Cloud City is a community of mature roleplayers who are looking to recruit other like-minded adults for some drama-free, action/comedy-rich roleplay. We have a special place in our hearts for people that are brand new to GTA RP. We’ve all been there ourselves, and know it can be hard to take that leap. We could be your first home, or your new one! Here, you’ll find a fully developed city with all the bells and whistles, with more on the way. Come join us, and see what all the fun is about!
Features: Something for everyone! -Fleshed out discord for members to hang out and communicate outside of roleplay. -QBCore framework -Actual custom content/scripts (written and actively worked on by our team). -Active Development with daily updates and planned DLCs -18+ populated city with men and women, at all hours of the day and night. Members from multiple continents. Drama and Greifer free, no shit lording tolerated. -200+ Imported Cars, 1500+ imported clothing items (Non-Esl) -Buy and customize your own house -Own/Stock/Price items at your own store -Available activities include restaurants, paintball, hunting, gambling, fishing, trucking, and more for civilian RP. Many more activities are coming in planned DLC's! -Hiring citizens for Local PD, State PD, Judges, Lawyers, Car Dealer, the highest paying jobs in the city -Unlimited business potentials! -Criminals can rob convenience stores, NPC's, Jewelry Stores and Banks. They can also start their own Gangs/Criminal Organizations -You can find and craft items and weapons at locations all across the State -You can find, cultivate, process and sell Weed, Coke, Meth, Heroin, Vicodin, LSD! -You can chop cars for useful and valuable parts! -A 30-day daily rewards system that rewards money, weapons, and vehicles -Free Casino spins every 24 hours for a chance to win casino chips, money, and vehicles, if you're lucky
How to get started: Join the fun! 1.) FiveM Server Address: Search “Cloud City RP” in FiveM and connect. No whitelist application needed. 2.) Join us on Discord at: https://discord.gg/wDPY5yr​

About Davidscloud: Davidscloud is a long-standing gaming community that believes in creating a place for all gamers to get together and enjoy playing various games together without worry of pay-to-win spoiling the enjoyment. Our community is friendly and works together to achieve a place everyone can find something to enjoy. Cloud City is a community of mature roleplayers who are looking to recruit other like-minded adults for some drama-free, action/comedy-rich roleplay. We have a special place in our hearts for people that are brand new to GTA RP. We’ve all been there ourselves, and know it can be hard to take that leap. We could be your first home, or your new one! Here, you’ll find a fully developed city with all the bells and whistles, with more on the way. Come join us, and see what all the fun is about!
Features: Something for everyone! -Fleshed out discord for members to hang out and communicate outside of roleplay. -QBCore framework -Actual custom content/scripts (written and actively worked on by our team). -Active Development with daily updates and planned DLCs -18+ populated city with men and women, at all hours of the day and night. Members from multiple continents. Drama and Greifer free, no shit lording tolerated. -200+ Imported Cars, 1500+ imported clothing items (Non-Esl) -Buy and customize your own house -Own/Stock/Price items at your own store -Available activities include restaurants, paintball, hunting, gambling, fishing, trucking, and more for civilian RP. Many more activities are coming in planned DLC's! -Hiring citizens for Local PD, State PD, Judges, Lawyers, Car Dealer, the highest paying jobs in the city -Unlimited business potentials! -Criminals can rob convenience stores, NPC's, Jewelry Stores and Banks. They can also start their own Gangs/Criminal Organizations -You can find and craft items and weapons at locations all across the State -You can find, cultivate, process and sell Weed, Coke, Meth, Heroin, Vicodin, LSD! -You can chop cars for useful and valuable parts! -A 30-day daily rewards system that rewards money, weapons, and vehicles -Free Casino spins every 24 hours for a chance to win casino chips, money, and vehicles, if you're lucky
How to get started: Join the fun! 1.) FiveM Server Address: Search “Cloud City RP” in FiveM and connect. No whitelist application needed. 2.) Join us on Discord at: https://discord.gg/wDPY5yr​

If it weren’t for a killer urban legend, Tina and I would celebrate Valentine’s Day on the 14th
Honestly, I was enjoying a bit of human company after several hours of driving alone, four years ago. Correction. I was trying to enjoy human company. I couldn't identify what was out of sync about Ernestburgh and its inhabitants so I wrote it off to me being picky. I am picky. That's why I was looking this far away from home for the location of my much needed warehouse. I wasn't about to spend the money demanded for run down buildings in my hometown. My odometer assured me I was 114 miles from home. In Ernestburgh. Which isn't in my GPS or on any online map I called up.
Cindy the gas station cashier dropped the cash into my hand and wished me a happy day. Then, haltingly, as if going off script and unsure about doing so, she asked, "What brought you here?"
"Good question," I said, jamming the change into my jacket's inside pocket, "I'm in the market for a warehouse, around 1,000 square feet. Anything like that in town?"
"Let the young lady be on her way," a deep voice boomed behind me. My stomach jumped, although I think I remained calm on the outside as I turned around. A tall, muscular man was nodding at Cindy and me. "Don't mind her, Miss, sometimes we forget our manners here, being we all know each other. You know how that is." He chuckled, although his eyes never smiled. To me, he looked smug. I didn't appreciate that.
"Where are my manners?" I laughed, sticking my hand out to start a handshake. "I'm Lydia from the next town over. And you are?"
He stared at my hand for several seconds before taking it in a quick handshake. "Name's Hopper, Miss Lydia, good to meet you. My wife Cora tells me I need to socialize more and work less, but, you know how it is, I'm sure." He released my hand.
He sounded like he looked, smug. Part of me wanted to egg him on. But I took a breath before speaking and told him I was looking for a motel room for the night. His demeanor softened. "The Deu Lake Inn just reopened after renovations. Go right from our parking lot, left at the second stop sign. Ask for Room Number 103. It overlooks the Lake. Hope you're an early riser. Sunrise over the Lake is unforgettable this time of year!"
Ernestburgh didn't have street lights so the stop signs were a little hard to see but I managed to find the dirt road that ended at Deu Lake Inn's parking lot. That clicked for me. If I landed MoonDoor's warehouse here, the Inn and the entire old school vibe of Ernestburgh would be an easy sell to increase tourism. Especially to boomers.
Annie McIntosh greeted me at the front desk and offered me 10 % off on my stay, which I gratefully accepted. Annie called in Enzio Morton to take my 'overnight bag' to my room and make sure the air conditioning was working. I said I wasn't worried, since it was February 9 and I would rather the room was heated. Annie's response was the a/c was just installed and it being such new technology, staff needed to make sure it worked. I chuckled a little then noticed she probably wasn't joking so I stopped, rather awkwardly.
Annie busied herself with paperwork and actively avoided talking to me after that. Knowing that someone named Enzio had to accompany me to my room, I checked out the only photo on the wall. It was a black and white photo of a man who looked eerily familiar. He wore an odd white bucket hat with the brim pushed away from his face. He had dark hair with full, choppy bangs, eyebrows raised over large eyes opened wide, a nondescript nose and mouth open as if he was either talking or gawking.
It hit me: That was Bob Denver, when he was Gilligan from Gilligan's Island, a 1960s sitcom.
A document attached to the photo frame was titled "Official History and Lore of Our Founding Father". It explained 'Captain' Johnny Ernest spent his entire life in Ernestburgh. His parents raised him on their local farm, before the town existed. Deu Lake Inn was built over his family's farm property. He was orphaned at the age of 11 and lived alone for the rest of his life. He spent 25 years building the earliest homes, post office and stage coach station for what became known as Ernestburgh. Since his death, he returns every year to eat the living being he names. The town would not and could not exist without him, according to the document.
What the hell.
"Miss Annie," I asked, unwilling to be taken in by a local prank, "is that all there is to this story?"
Annie lifted her head, smiling widely. "Yes," she said brightly, "that's our Founding Father, Captain Ernest. Once a year he returns, eats whatever living being he names, then he returns to his beloved lake until the next February 10th."
'Eats whatever living being he names.' I felt fear without knowing its origin, something I don't often experience. I turned to face the Inn's entrance so I could avoid both Annie and Captain Ernest. Enzio appeared soon after. He got me to Room 103, confirmed the a/c was good, and I was left on my own for the night.
I opened the sports bag of spare essentials I always left in my vehicle. It stems from having to be prepared to run for my life when I was younger. Some habits are hard to break. It allowed me to change into a t shirt for that night. I grabbed the remote and jumped into bed.
Covers up to my neck, horror movie marathon playing quietly in the background, I was ready to relax. That's when I remembered my odometer. Part of my being picky is me recording my mileage at the end of every journey. My odometer registered exactly 114 miles from home to Ernestbugh. Based on memory, I'd travelled mostly westbound from home. And online maps clearly showed a large, well-known city 40 miles west of my place. Seems likely I would have noticed that city, had it been in my way during my travels.
Also, traveling no more than 50 miles per hour, my trip should have taken two and a half hours, three tops if I slowed down, got stuck in traffic jams or stopped a lot. That wasn't how my drive went at all. I left home at 10 a.m. and drove non-stop until I arrived at Ernestburgh nine hours later, just before 7 p.m.
Once again, what the hell.
I called up my dashcam footage and fast forwarded through the day's journey. There was scenery I recognized, close to home, then about five hours of static, then scenery that I recalled driving into Ernestburgh. The first time I watched it, I didn't believe it. Had to be a technical glitch. The third time I watched it, my muscles tightened for fight or flight. As much as I wanted to leave immediately, I realized I'd do better to wait until morning. I set my phone alarm for 6:45 a.m. and plugged in my phone to recharge, then spent a long time staring at the ceiling.
My alarm rang a bit too early for my liking and I didn't remember setting the ring tone to 'growls and groans'. The time on my phone was 5:45 a.m. so it wasn't my alarm. For a second I attributed the noise to the horror movie marathon I'd selected for the room's TV. Nope. TV must have shut itself off while I was asleep.
I heard it again. A growl, thunderous and a bit muffled, coming from the back of the Inn where my window faced. Expecting an incoming thunderstorm, I opened the curtains a bit and stared for a second or two at a huge bubble sitting on the lake. A face smiled at me from inside the bubble. A face. In a bubble. On a lake. Smiling at me. So much wrong.
After the fastest shower ever, I shoved all my gear into my sports bag and threw on my coat. I ran to the back of the Inn with all my gear and my phone (charge cord still attached, alarm shut off) at the ready. The beach, such as it was, was about a two minute jog from the back of the Inn and extended for quite a bit before meeting the water. There was a large bubble sitting on the water's surface, a significant distance from the shore. This was the same bubble I'd seen out the window. It kept getting larger, as did the face in it.
I was trying to focus my phone's camera when I heard someone speaking behind me. Annie, the front desk clerk, asked if I was ready to check out.
"Um, Annie, do you see that?" I said as gently as I could, pointing at the bubble. As soon as I looked at it, I couldn't look away. Annie didn't answer my question but she did keep talking. She said check out prior to 11:25 a.m. was fine but I had to pay now. I asked her how much and she didn't answer, which prompted me to look directly at her.
The growling started again. Of course it was much louder than I'd heard in my room. Annie frowned but stood firm, hand out, palm up. I looked back at the lake and the bubble had moved much closer to shore, almost touching dry land. It was huge, and the face now had a full body with arms and legs. Still smiling, it pointed at me with its left arm.
My blood ran cold. I heard Annie's voice but couldn't understand the words. The bubble drew ever closer. The growls were so loud, I clamped my hands over my ears but still couldn't stop staring at the face. It seemed so familiar.
Annie might have stopped talking, I don't know. All I could hear with my hands on my ears was muffled growling. I knew she was still there because she had grabbed my right arm with both hands and pulled fiercely. Even so, I kept staring at the bubble that had stopped rolling when it made land.
The growling continued.
Annie tugged until my right hand fell away from my ear. She screamed it wasn't her time as she released my arm. At that time I didn't know if she stayed or left because I was still watching the bubble.
A crack formed, splitting the bubble in half vertically. Within a blink or two, the bubble split open and the growling changed to a low, gravelly human voice. "Annie! Annie McIntosh!" the being said. Its finger no longer pointed at me, but to my right. I felt compelled to glance beside me and sure enough, there was Annie. Her hands were balled up into fists, pushing on her temples. She was crying and shaking, and I felt genuine terror just looking at her.
"Annie McIntosh, it is your time!" the being announced as it took two steps towards her. I'm ashamed to say I felt a brief moment of relief that the being wasn't aiming at me before I realized it appeared to be hellbent on getting Annie. She was now screaming wordlessly, seemingly unable or unwilling to run.
In that moment, two things occurred to me. The being was an exact replica of the black and white photo of the town's founding father. And if the urban legend was correct, 'Captain' Johnny Ernest can only eat one person per year. He names that person before eating them. Since he'd already named Annie, I figured I was safe at least for that year, and tried to distract him. Maybe Annie could escape and live another year.
I screamed at him, "Captain, you're dead, you don't need to eat anymore!" It was the best I could think of at the time. I put my hands on Annie's left arm and tried to drag her away with me. No luck, she felt like she was cemented to the spot.
Meanwhile, Captain Ernest continued to take huge steps towards us. I'm used to living with and around weird things, but this went beyond weird. Gilligan wanted to eat someone and he seemed focused on Annie.
Something in me broke. I screamed I was sorry to Annie and took off at a full run. I didn't stop running until I got to the back of the Inn. Maybe it was guilt, maybe it was morbid curiosity, but I had to take one last look back.
Captain Ernest was still at least two of his steps away from her when he grabbed her.
She was still screaming when he dropped her into his mouth.
I folded two ten dollar bills under the phone on the Inn's front desk then jumped into my car and peeled out. When I got to Ernestburgh's main street I turned left. A right turn would have taken me back to Ernestburgh and that was a huge nope for me. As soon as I saw something resembling a freeway, I took the eastbound route and didn't stop until I was home.
The trip home took two hours and added 114 miles to the odometer. My dashcam worked just fine that whole time. The previous day's footage came up as 'corrupted' when I tried to access it. I spent the next four days in bed, waiting for Tina to return from her mother’s.
Tina's mother recovered quickly and Tina came home on day five. She asked me to retrace my steps with her in the car. No matter what we did, we couldn't find Ernestburgh. I searched for obituary notices about Annie McIntosh until Tina said I might be reaching unhealthy levels of 'need to know' when, in fact, I don't need to know. And she was right.
But every February 9th and 10th since then, she and I spend those days together, at home, without guests. We stay in bed, watch our fav horror movies and eat whatever we want. It's our customized version of Valentine's Day.
Author's note: Find me at LG Writes, Odd Directions and Write_Right

Hey everyone! I'm excited to share that I'm planning a road trip in Thailand during the month of July with two of my friends. I recently discovered that renting electric cars is a really cheap option there, especially the Atto 3 from BYD, which boasts a 400km range. Not only that, but the tolls also seem to be affordable and there are charging stations for electric cars almost everywhere in Thailand, making it a convenient and eco-friendly choice for our trip.
Although I've been to Thailand five times before, I have always traveled by bus or plane. This time, we are looking forward to exploring the country by road and taking in all the beautiful sights along the way. We haven't yet decided where to start our trip from, either Phuket or Suvarnabhumi airport, but we are open to suggestions.
Our current plan is to start our journey from Phuket and make our way to Krabi, a charming coastal town with stunning beaches and crystal-clear waters. From there, we plan to head towards Pattaya, an exciting city that's famous for its lively nightlife and stunning temples. After exploring Pattaya, we want to make our way to Chiang Mai, the cultural capital of Thailand, via Bangkok. We are excited to see the beautiful temples and landmarks in these cities and indulge in the local cuisine and culture.
However, we are also open to suggestions for a good road trip option that starts from either Suvarnabhumi or Phuket airport and ends at the same airport where we started. We are looking forward to hearing your ideas and recommendations!

“It’s not very iconic,” Jack mumbled to himself as he watched the frame of the newest variant of Crawler come together.
Though calling it a ‘Crawler’ was a bit of a misnomer, given that the vehicle didn’t actually crawl. Instead, it would move about on treads. Like a normal tank. Which, while practical, were rather boring to look at.
To make matters worse, Shui would be taking just over half of the iconic older variants of crawler that did actually crawl with her on her journey North. Doing so would allow her force to be entirely mechanized – or horseborne in the case of the cultivators – reducing a journey that would normally take months into one that would take weeks.
Plus, a mountain pass is actually a location where the mechanical legs might see some practical use, he thought.
Shui was certainly pleased about the extra support. While Jack wouldn’t go so far as to say she was giddy, there was certainly a degree of ‘pep’ to her steps as she rushed about the city organizing her new ‘army’. Even the mortal elements, which he got the feeling were normally an afterthought in these kinds of engagements.
She’d be taking fully one third of the militia that An had arrived with a few weeks ago. Ten thousand men and women. As well as fifteen cultivators – who Jack had made sure came from differing Sects. A move that would hopefully keep her from getting up to mischief by turning them against him.
Hopefully.
Ideally, he’d like to say that was why she was taking a contingent of homegrown Jiangshi ‘natives’ – for a given use of the word. The reality was that she was taking the militia because the alternative was a force of spear wielding sect troops, which would be like feeding meat into a grinder.
Which might have been just fine for the Empire, but mortals actually had some innate value to him. To that end, those sect troops still in the city – all fifty thousand of them - were going to be re-equipped and retrained as part of his new Ten Huo army.
Which was why five thousand militia members would be sticking around to train them in turn, while the remaining fifteen thousand returned to the very important task of guarding Jiangshi.
Which was a priority, given that An had all but stripped the province bare of soldiers to create her rescue force – and if they didn’t return soon their absence would be keenly felt.
Of course, this all relies on the Sects giving up their personal armies without a fight, Jack thought. Here’s hoping my most recent lesson in who holds the biggest stick will remain stuck in their mind when I make that announcement…
“Perhaps.” Elwin said from beside him, returning his thoughts to the mundane nature of his latest construct. Not that you’d know it from looking at Elwin. The elf’s arms were crossed as she watched with no small amount of awe as his workshop’s many pneumatic arms worked to bring the tank to life. “That will change though. I have oft found that the iconic nature of a soldier or weapon only grows with their success. And to hear little Lin go on about this machine, it will be very successful indeed.”
Jack hummed, conceding the point. Both Lin and Huang were down in his workshop with them – the two seemingly near inseparable these days for some reason – both huddled over a data-slate as they chatted animatedly about something related to the design.
They were a mismatched pair to be sure, but it seemed that Lin had chosen to take the former princess under her wing. Which was rather ironic, given that she was the goat-kin and Huang was the dragon-kin.
“Do you think Shui’s realized that she won’t actually be spending much of her time up north building her fortress?” he hummed.
“I would worry for her intelligence if she didn’t,” Elwin opined. “And the fact that she’s not battering down your door to demand changes to the manifest she’s been provided suggests she has.”
Jack hummed in agreement. He didn’t doubt that Shui had already noticed that her little taskforce was almost entirely devoid of building materials or craftsmen. Not that she’d want to be lugging stuff like stone or timber halfway across the province when there were plenty of natural resources at her destination.
Still, she’d want craftsmen trailing along with your supply chain though.
As well as nails.
To hear his advisor’s talk about them, you wanted nails by the barrel. To that end they had some. Gao, Ren and An had stressed that no army should ever be without things for even a moment, but they weren’t present in nearly the quantities required to build a mountain fortress like the one he hoped would soon block off the only remaining route into the province – if you ignored the ocean.
Which both Imperials and Instinctives were seemingly content to do.
No, the Pig-kin had probably known from the moment the plan was presented to her that Jack would be waiting for her to arrive at her destination before he flew over in his suit and built a fortress basically overnight.
That thought made him feel better about his decision to put her in charge of the job. It was an important job after all, sealing off the last ‘free’ entrance into his small empire.
I’ll probably want to head back to Jiangshi first to resupply basic building materials when I do head over there, he thought as he made a mental tally of what was currently floating around in his inventory. The thought made him sigh. The sooner I get a train network set up the better.
There was just so much that needed to be done…
He shook his head as he refocused on the task at hand, which was creating the prototype of the new Kang Barrel. A name that had created nothing but confusion for his underlings, but tickled his funny bone.
Not least of all because he hadn’t been the one to come up with the joke.
His microbots were. And while the fact that his microbots were currently capable of making jokes terrified him to his core, he couldn’t deny that they were good at them.
Because truth be told, he’d never wondered why tanks were called ‘tanks’. Though, to be fair, he never wondered why half a dozen other things were named as they were.
As it turned out, the reason tanks had been called what they were was because they’d been smuggled to Europe – or the irradiated zone as it was now known – disguised as water tanks.
Thus, Barrels had seemed an apt name for his own variant – even if no one but him got the joke.
Hell, that just made it funnier to him.
“So, how are things coming with your apprentices?” he asked the elf.
Smiling, the woman was about to respond when Ren rushed in, looking more frantic than usual. Which was a rather impressive feat given that she’d spent the last few weeks effectively running his city for him and was normally operating somewhere between totally overwhelmed and barely hanging on.
“Where are your formal robes, master!?” the merchant all but hissed. “I told you the ceremony would be starting in a few hours!”
Jack glanced over at a nearby clock.
“Ah… I knew I was forgetting something.”
Not that it mattered, he didn’t care what Ren said about tradition.
He was going in his armor.
--------------\
“With that, I present your new magistrate,” an older man called out to the crowds below.
The male cultivator was actually the oldest looking cultivator Jack had ever seen. The man was a craftsmen, a well respected one. And he was also the one who had been in charge of creating the staff that ostensibly controlled the city’s runic defenses.
And keying them to Jack.
Theoretically.
That wasn’t how it had gone down – and the other man had made it abundantly clear what he thought of this change in tradition.
Jack didn’t care then and he didn’t care now.
Which was why he ignored the other man’s stinkeye as he stood up from his throne and strode over to the balcony.
“The Empire has abandoned us.”
His first words were solemn, yet they rolled over the crowd below without trouble. A feat accomplished by a few carefully positioned loud speakers.
Which might have been why, despite the distance between him and the throngs of… not quite human mortals and cultivators below, he could almost hear the audible intake of breath that followed his statement.
Criticizing one’s superiors really wasn’t done in the empire, by virtue of the fact that said superior was usually your superior because they were entirely capable of lopping your head off. If they weren’t, you’d be the superior.
Again, certain parallels between the Instinctive hordes and the Empire leapt to Jack’s mind.
“The Empress has abandoned us. Time has dulled her edge. Corruption has infested her courts. Lethargy pervades her armies. And now, like an ape grasping for a branch as it plummets to its doom, the Empress pulls tight on her outer provinces in a desperate attempt to arrest her fall.”
It helped that what he was saying was mostly true. Or so he assumed. Because he’d yet to meet a system of power that wasn’t at least a little corrupt.
Silence was the only response he received to his words though.
Which, again, was to be expected. While the Empress wasn’t a ‘goddess’ in the religious sense of the word – the empire as a whole was surprisingly secular in that regard, focusing instead on something Jack would have described as Pseudo-Buddhism – she was also one of the founders of the Empire.
Again, not someone you criticized for long before you found yourself suddenly a few feet shorter from the top down.
Fortunately, Jack had a secret weapon.
“Yet Ten Huo only grows in power!”
That was the signal for the doors to the palace to open, and from them cart after cart of sizzling pigs, cows and whole chicken were wheeled forward. Prepared by the palace’s chefs, they’d done an incredible job with the task they’d been given. Even from his position up high on the balcony Jack found the smell intoxicating as it wafted up to him.
Fortunately, the line of sect troops guarding the front of the palace held steady as the crowd almost unconsciously surged forward at the sight of such a feast.
Really hope no one’s going to get crushed in that, he thought.
That was why he had a few cultivators on standby who would use directed burst of killing intent anywhere the press of bodies got too tight. The effectiveness of which Jack had been a little dubious of, but it was apparently a tried and tested method for ‘delicately’ dealing with unruly crowds.
Personally, Jack would have preferred to use his own troops, but Ren had quite reasonably pointed out that when it came to keeping crowds of agitated mortals in line, none were better than the personal armies of the sects.
…Or the Imperial army – but most of them were dead now.
That didn’t mean he’d come completely unprotected. His own troops had emptied out the palace of all courtiers and Sect guards hours ago in preparation for his speech. A feat that would have been impossible mere days ago, but it seemed that his little display to the Sect leaders had the effect he’d intended it to, because the cultivators present on the premises hadn’t even made a single peep of complaint as they were ordered out by a bunch of mere mortals.
Albeit, mere mortals who had An commanding them.
“We must cast off the shackles that have for so long held us back!” Jack announced. “This is not about power. Not about greed. Or pride. It is about survival!”
This time he got roars of approval – though whether that was down to his words or the food that was now being passed out to the crowd, he couldn’t say.
It didn’t really matter. It was about the optics of the thing. When people looked back on this moment, they would remember the cheering. And that would mean it had to have been a good thing, right?
“Ten Huo must grow. Must cultivate it’s strength. Must power through the troubles ahead,” he roared. “Which we have. Through our guards. Through our walls. Through our cultivators. And through our gonnes. Through those things we broke the back of the horde and slew their false dragon. And it is through the power of those things that we might beat back any foe that might threaten our home.”
He raised his fist high – and at the correct moment, his Red Dragon armor flared into being, the feathers atop fluttering proudly in the wind. “Ten Huo forever! Against all that might come! Together we are strong!”
Perhaps it was just his imagination, but that time the cheers felt more genuine. A chant even started.
“Ten Huo! Ten Huo! Ten Huo!”
“To that end, I intend to correct some of the failures of the old regime! Firstly, I shall be cutting the mortal guard force of our city’s sects down to one tenth their current size.”
That caused a stir, not just from the cultivators who were stood on the nearby pavilions, but from the rearmost ranks of the sect guard that were currently holding back the crowd while simultaneously handing out food.
Which made sense, he was currently discussing their livelihoods. The only thing that separated them and their families from the desperate crowds in front of them. Because while the city wasn’t quite close to starving as a result of the recent hostilities, it was true that a great many households were now tightening their belts.
Service in the Imperial Army or Sects provided some degree of protection from that reality.
“And from those men and women, I shall forge a new force. A grand Ten Huo army to rival that of the decrepit Empire. Well trained. Well armed. Professional soldiers. An expansion and revitalization of the Jiangshi militia that saved this city all those weeks ago.”
That seemed to silence much of the hesitation that had formed in the sect troops. The crowd though was all for it, whooping and hollering at the idea of more troops of the ilk that had so captured the city’s love with their arrival into it.
“I do this not out of contempt for the sects but out of love. With this I free them from the responsibility of policing the city. Of dealing with the mundane details of the mortal world. I free them to focus on their one true goal; the pursuit of cultivation and immortality.”
More importantly, it would make a coup significantly less likely to be successful later down the line. Or at least, less viable. Because as potent as cultivators were, they were still just individuals. They had more in common with fighter craft than infantry. They could take ground and destroy targets, but they couldn’t be expected to hold it without support.
Support Jack fully intended to cut out from under them while claiming he was doing them a favor. And while he could certainly see some idiots in the pavilion nodding along with the idea of ‘freeing themselves from the need to deal with mortals’, most of the leadership was rightly frowning at the thought of losing their ability to project power into the city.
Without mortal soldiers to form a buffer around them, they would effectively be besieged within their compounds.
Yet even as he could see them slowly considering raising some form of stink over it, he could also see them glancing over to the empty seat in their lineup where the Silver Paw sect might have stood.
No, they might make a perfunctory fuss, but they’d do as he told them. This was the ideal time for him to make a move like this. It was almost expected.
To be sure, he knew some would cause some form of trouble over this move, but that trouble would be a lot easier to deal with when he tripled the number of soldiers he had at his command within the city.
Down below, Jack could see the distant figure of Gao – and a small application of magnification showed the man was looking rather pale. Which made sense, given the massive task Jack had just slammed down in front of him. An, for her part, looked positively giddy about the whole thing. Ren just looked… tired and unsurprised, as if more work appearing on her lap was just to be expected where Jack was concerned. Elwin looked disinterested in the whole thing, which was par for the course.
Lin and Huang were… nowhere to be seen?
Huh, he thought.
For just a moment he was worried something might have happened, but a quick glance at the trackers attached to them – via some ‘gifts’ of jewelry – showed the pair were back at his compound. In the same room even.
Very close.
Probably caught up in some science experiment, he thought with a small smile.
“Yet what is a mortal army without a core of cultivators?” Jack continued. “Am I to demand a tithe from the sects that have already given so much? To both me and this city?” He shook his head. “Nay.”
He stretched out his arm, and with perfect timing a dozen figures dropped from the windows of the palace, landing perfectly behind the sects guards in a crouched position.
They were clearly cultivators – yet they didn’t look like them. For one thing, they were armored. From head to toe. Gleaming steel armor that was inlaid with protective runes.
It wasn’t as comprehensive as metal plate would be. Gaps existed to allow for great locomotion from the user. Yet it was still more armor than any cultivator would ever be caught wearing.
Because in the local parlance, armor was a sign of weakness. A lack of confidence in ones skills and cultivation.
Or at least, that had been the case until Jack showed up.
The next thing about them was that they were uniform. Perfectly so. Only the weapons were different. Some had glaives. Some had swords. Others axes. The only commonality there were the revolvers at their hips.
He didn’t doubt they looked absurd to the cultivators in the pavilions, each of them dressed differently to their fellows, with only a small adherence to their sect colors to mark their allegiance. Because cultivators didn’t do uniforms.
They were warriors. Heroes. Not soldiers.
Or at least, they weren’t, Jack smirked.
He raised both arms high above his head.
“I demand nothing of the sects, for volunteers have already shown up to be part of this great army. Ready to give their lives. Their souls. Their very identities to protect our great Ten Huo!”
Jack slammed his fist down onto the banister, letting the loud thud echo across the courtyard.
“I present to you, the Steel Paw!”
For the first time since they had arrived, the mystery cultivators stood up, their blue cloaks fluttering in the winds as they pulled back their hood to reveal not faces, but helms.
Helms shaped like a snarling tiger.
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Another three chapters are also available on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bluefishcake
We also have a (surprisingly) active Discord where and I and a few other authors like to hang out: https://discord.gg/RctHFucHaq

Ancient World

• 455 – Sack of Rome: Vandals enter Rome, and plunder the city for two weeks.

Middle Ages

• 1098 – First Crusade: The first Siege of Antioch ends as Crusader forces take the city; the second siege began five days later.

Early Modern World

• 1608 – The Colony of Virginia gets a charter, extending borders from "sea to sea".
• 1615 – The first Récollet missionaries arrive at Quebec City, from Rouen, France.
• 1676 – Franco-Dutch War: France ensured the supremacy of its naval fleet for the remainder of the war with its victory in the Battle of Palermo.
• 1692 – Bridget Bishop is the first person to be tried for witchcraft in Salem, Massachusetts; she was found guilty and later hanged.
• 1763 – Pontiac's Rebellion: At what is now Mackinaw City, Michigan, Chippewas capture Fort Michilimackinac by diverting the garrison's attention with a game of lacrosse, then chasing a ball into the fort.
• 1774 – Intolerable Acts: The Quartering Act is enacted, allowing a governor in colonial America to house British soldiers in uninhabited houses, outhouses, barns, or other buildings if suitable quarters are not provided.

Revolutionary Age

• 1780 – The anti-Catholic Gordon Riots in London leave an estimated 300 to 700 people dead.
• 1793 – French Revolution: François Hanriot, leader of the Parisian National Guard, arrests 22 Girondists selected by Jean-Paul Marat, setting the stage for the Reign of Terror.
• 1805 – Napoleonic Wars: A Franco-Spanish fleet recaptures Diamond Rock, an uninhabited island at the entrance to the bay leading to Fort-de-France, from the British.
• 1835 – P. T. Barnum and his circus start their first tour of the United States.
• 1848 – The Slavic congress in Prague begins.
• 1866 – The Fenians defeat Canadian forces at Ridgeway and Fort Erie, but the raids end soon after.

Second Industrial Revolution

• 1896 – Guglielmo Marconi applies for a patent for his wireless telegraph.
• 1909 – Alfred Deakin becomes Prime Minister of Australia for the third time.
• 1910 – Charles Rolls, a co-founder of Rolls-Royce Limited, becomes the first man to make a non-stop double crossing of the English Channel by plane.

Interwar Period

• 1919 – Anarchists simultaneously set off bombs in eight separate U.S. cities.
• 1924 – U.S. President Calvin Coolidge signs the Indian Citizenship Act into law, granting citizenship to all Native Americans born within the territorial limits of the United States.

World War II

• 1941 – World War II: German paratroopers murder Greek civilians in the villages of Kondomari and Alikianos.

Cold War

• 1946 – Birth of the Italian Republic: In a referendum, Italians vote to turn Italy from a monarchy into a Republic. After the referendum, King Umberto II of Italy is exiled.
• 1953 – The coronation of Queen Elizabeth II at Westminster Abbey becomes the first British coronation and one of the first major international events to be televised.
• 1955 – The USSR and Yugoslavia sign the Belgrade declaration and thus normalize relations between the two countries, discontinued since 1948.
• 1962 – During the FIFA World Cup, police had to intervene multiple times in fights between Chilean and Italian players in one of the most violent games in football history.
• 1964 – The Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO) is formed.
• 1966 – Surveyor program: Surveyor 1 lands in Oceanus Procellarum on the Moon, becoming the first U.S. spacecraft to soft-land on another world.
• 1967 – Luis Monge is executed in Colorado's gas chamber, in the last pre-Furman execution in the United States.
• 1967 – Protests in West Berlin against the arrival of the Shah of Iran are brutally suppressed, during which Benno Ohnesorg is killed by a police officer. His death results in the founding of the terrorist group Movement 2 June.
• 1979 – Pope John Paul II starts his first official visit to his native Poland, becoming the first Pope to visit a Communist country.
• 1983 – After an emergency landing because of an in-flight fire, twenty-three passengers aboard Air Canada Flight 797 are killed when a flashover occurs as the plane's doors open. Because of this incident, numerous new safety regulations are put in place.
• 1990 – The Lower Ohio Valley tornado outbreak spawns 66 confirmed tornadoes in Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio, killing 12.

Modern World

• 1997 – In Denver, Timothy McVeigh is convicted on 15 counts of murder and conspiracy for his role in the 1995 bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, in which 168 people died. He was executed four years later.
• 2003 – Europe launches its first voyage to another planet, Mars. The European Space Agency's Mars Express probe launches from the Baikonur space center in Kazakhstan.
• 2012 – Former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is sentenced to life imprisonment for his role in the killing of demonstrators during the 2011 Egyptian revolution.
• 2014 – Telangana officially becomes the 29th state of India, formed from ten districts of northwestern Andhra Pradesh.
• 2022 – Following a request from Ankara, the United Nations officially changed the name of the Republic of Turkey in the organization from what was previously known as "Turkey" to "Türkiye."

Featured

• Sack of Rome (455) > The sack of 455 AD marked a pivotal moment in history when the Vandals (led by King Genseric), a Germanic tribe, invaded the city of Rome. The Vandals pillaged the city for two weeks, causing widespread destruction. This event not only shocked the Roman world but also symbolized the decline and impending fall of the Western Roman Empire.

https://freeimage.host/i/Hrt77mQ

Chapter 88 - From All I Believed
​
Morning, Two days before Shel
Captain Setar suppressed a smile as she watched the Ops door close. “Well, that was interesting… Ce’lani is a little cranky.” The last vestiges of sleep clung to her as she settled down into the command chair. She felt worn out, but it was the cusp of dawn, and Pod Seven had only just turned over control. “Report on station?”
“The perimeter’s secure,” Jelki replied crisply, pulling up the map of the campus on the main screen. “Pod One is on station and reports twelve by twelve. Sgt Ma’reis is already complaining about janitor duty.”
“Ah, first pod problems.” Setar shook her head, rubbing her eyes and blowing gently on her mug of tea. “What about the objective?”
“The objective’s secure,” Re’lan piped up, already sounding chipper. The woman could have been priestess of Jrafell. Her unwavering cheeriness would have been a character fault if she weren’t so devoted. As it was, it was a damned penance for everyone else at this time of day.
Jelke finished running the obligatory shift change checks and stretched. Things wouldn't get interesting until breakfast, but watching the perimeter was a given. It didn't keep the curiosity out of her voice, as she cocked her head and glanced over. “What was interesting with Captain Ton’is, Ma’am?”
“Mm! Well… it appears she’s expecting a call from Professor Warrick today,” Setar drawled out, taking a moment to savor their reaction. “She felt a need to remind me she’s devoted to Hele, and that if Be’ona or I let her sleep through the call, she’s going to ‘fuck us up the ass with a lasrifle and pull the trigger’.”
Re’lan was probably blushing like a cadet, but Jelke shook her head ruefully. “I expect there's a ‘but’ in there somewhere, Captain?”
“Well, yeah, she said that’s where the rifle would go…” Setar sniggered before taking a long sip from her tea, and slid a bit lower in the command couch. Her eyes wandered to the traffic on the board. “She also made it clear what’ll happen if anybody listens in.”
Thoughtful silence descended. Setar almost counted to twelve before-
“We’re going to anyway, right Captain?” Jelke asked nonchalantly. “You know, for security’s sake?”
“Sergeant, that would be a base infringement of Captain Ton’is’ privacy, which is in fucking short supply for everyone in this bunker.” She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, watching the steam rise from her mug. “Deeps right we are.”
_ _ _
Lady Wicama regarded her guest with interest as their autocab plied its way about the outskirts of Prelitauri. While she’d been free and cheerfully able to accommodate Khelira’s request, Monsignor Santino Barcio, or Friar Barcio, as he preferred, was not at all what she’d been expecting. She supposed it was a matter of exposure…
The Palace had never quite been the same since Princess Yn’dara’s wedding. Yn’dara was one of those odd Royals who, though well-regarded, was seldom in the public eye. A perennial favorite of the Empress, indulging her unexplained absences passed as a matter of course for the Court. Widely known to be estranged from her mother, Princess Arduina, no one enquired either deeply or often, so when she suddenly resurfaced, her return would have equally passed without comment… if not for the wedding.
Yn’dara had shocked the entire Nobility.
While it was common for any woman to marry into an established family and become a kho, the wedding should have been singular for a Princess. Princesses didn’t marry into families, Princesses formed them. And while Yn’dara technically had done so, she’d taken on three unmarried women at the same time as her husband, who was a Human! Favorite or no, the wags in the court were agog that the Empress accepted Adam so readily! The Empress, however, had been adamant; Yn’dara and her family had her blessings, and were to be left alone.
However, time had proven to be on Yn’dara’s side as well as the Empress.
After a wedding seen across the galaxy, Yn’dara’s family settled into a life of public duty. They spent long trips away from Shil, and while quietly dismissed as ‘pleasure excursions’, her trips often showed the throne to the outer provinces. Although her public engagements were few, she’d become a vocal advocate of the Empress’ reforms against graft and corruption, and, gradually, the jealous mutters about scandalous excess and Human debauchery faded away. Her marriage remained an unusual footnote, but time had demonstrated the value of Yn’dara and her wives to the throne.
Then there was Prince Adam.
Rumor held the Prince had made a favorable impression on the Empress years before, at an event hosted by Yn’dara’s mother. While details had never been forthcoming, a more significant story about Adam wafted briefly through the ranks of the Golden Glaives.
Both stories had been effectively silenced, but Wicama knew who to talk to, and being Khelira’s guardian carried a certain clout all its own. Though that influence waxed and waned over the years, raising Khelira required being aware of events that could shape her future, and she’d proven herself to be discreet. Over time, doors had opened and words had flowed.
Time had been on Prince Adam’s side, as well.
As the years passed, she’d had an exposure to Prince Adam that few of the court and none of the public enjoyed. She’d been wary at first, but he’d been a good friend and mentor to Princess Khelandri before she joined the Marines, and however infrequent his presence, he always displayed a keen mind, a loving heart, and a steadfast duty to his wives. Privately, he absolutely doted on young Khelira and possessed a loyalty to the Empress that you could bend battlesteel around. The two got along famously - after all, he was a veteran.
Not Navy, mind you, but you couldn’t have everything.
And so, as Humanity began making forays upon the galactic stage, her first impression of the species had been favorable. She’d witnessed Adam mature into his role with the court, and while the issue of children remained unspoken, that faded as well. At the time, Yn’dara had been sixth in the line of succession. A year after the wedding, Kamaud’re became an adult, followed a year later by Khelandri, and the matter became largely moot.
As for a second impression on Humans, Khelira had provided enthusiastic reports about Thomas Warrick. While the Princess thrived at the Academy, Warrick seemed to be something special.
The absence of a father in her life had been a void that no woman could properly fill, but she’d done her best. Although she’d entertained a few qualms, as the months passed by, Warrick remained a positive influence. Khelira’s messages were infrequent by necessity, but she’d written about her distress over Warrick’s family and clearly been moved. Prince Adam carried his own scars, but what veteran didn’t? He hid them carefully around Khelli, and if Warrick had chosen not to, he’d provided a useful sense of perspective, instead. It was time for Khelira to grow up, and that meant facing the grist of differing opinions and ugly realities. That was what education was actually for, and Warrick seemed to be doing admirably well as a grindstone.
All of that was before the library incident, which settled her opinion once and for all. While erratic, irreverent, and capable of violence, Humans clearly could be a positive influence when channeled in the right direction. Yn’dara had shown what a good Shil’vati woman was capable of with Prince Adam, and Lady Pel’avon was following suit.
And at least the wags at the Palace wouldn’t speak of Yn’dara’s state wedding again. As a subject for spectacle, Miv’eire Pel’avon’s had put it to shame.
Still, it was good to see Warrick married. While Professor Ha’meres scandalous exploits had faded from the public eye, older wo… more mature women didn’t forget such things. The man had been a daring adventurer - and an inveterate gadabout - and an unmarried man around that many young women was too tempting for some girls. A wife or two… preferably more… resolved such idle fancies. If the Pel’avon ceremony had been somewhat… questionable in taste, compared to Adam’s, it remained legally binding. Warrick was willing to settle down, and by all reports his wife had a proper sense of decorum.
Human men seemed to be a trial from the Goddess, but hopefully she and her kho-wife could sort him with time, love, and kindness.
While exposure to only two Humans was not what she’d call a comprehensive sample, in both cases her impressions had been quite positive. And so, when Khelli asked her to escort a Human Priest about the city, she’d been entirely willing.
Thus far, it had been an enjoyable morning. While there had been occasional missteps, their conversation had been delightful as they traveled from property to property. Even so, she hadn’t expected to meet such a kindred spirit.
Admittedly she’d stammered a bit when he mentioned eating the flesh and drinking the blood of his redeemer. On the other hand, she compared it to the first time she’d bled into the ocean, mingling salt in her blood with the seas. He’d turned shockingly pale, so she changed the subject. It was a purely symbolic act to Drepna - just a cut on the thumb, for goddess sake...
She’d taken extra care afterwards. Barcio could be clearly a sensitive male, but diplomacy was part of her work. Even calling her role ‘work’ was deceptive. She’d raised Khelira in every way an Empress could not.
It was easy for other women to appreciate the prestige of her position, but few understood the depth of it - or the satisfaction.
During her career in the Navy, her flotilla had provided direct support for the Empress, and they’d come to work closely over three tours. After Khelira’s birth years later, the invitation came from the Royal Household to act as her guardian, and she’d never looked back. Competition had been fierce for the prestigious position, but applying had been the best move of her life.
Empress Kamilesh loved all her children and had spent as much time with each of them as she could, but her work was all-consuming, and after her husband’s act of… Well, the Empress had been there, but she’d born her pain privately. She had lost herself in her work for many years before recovering a semblance of her former self, and her absence had taken a toll on her children. Kamaud’re had taken it the worst. Khelandri had bounced back, while everyone doted on Lu’ral. Barely more than an infant, Khelira had been far too young to remember. Wicama had been there through all of it.
It was a good life, and the princess was a delightful girl. For Wicama, the absence of a man in her life was something she’d felt now and then, but she invested her life in Khelira. The Empress treated her as a member of the family in all but name… and in a very real sense, the child you raised was your child.
Looking back, some women might insinuate she’d given up her personal life to raise another woman’s daughter. They couldn’t have been more wrong.
She had her calling - just as Friar Barcio had his.
Yes, he was a priest, and his religious strictures were very unusual. A male priest in any of the Shil’vati faiths would never be placed under such restraints, and for a man to go unmarried was noteworthy…
But she understood having a calling. Oh yes, she understood that as few others could.
After discussing his needs, they’d set out to examine three properties around Prelitauri. The Friar’s individual requirements were deceptively difficult when taken as a whole. A complex coupling a generous auditorium, ample administrative space, and he clearly needed substantial grounds to properly convey a sense of aura. Such accommodations were seldom on the market, and since he expected his colleagues to arrive in weeks, his need was immediate.
Thankfully, urban renewal moved in waves. The tides of such fashions meant Prelitauri was once again an up-and-coming area. While difficult to find, three older structures had the potential to be suitable, and so it was that she’d enjoyed learning about her guest as they explored the tiny district.
The Monsignor spoke four other Earth languages fluently. He tended to break into his native tongue and hadn’t mastered contractions yet, but his Vatikre was passable and he listened carefully, seldom needing to ask about a word. After limiting her contractions when she spoke, their conversation flowed easily.
Barcio had shown little enthusiasm for the first two properties, but their conversation regarding other matters never waned. She expanded on her devotion to Drepna, Shil and the roles of each goddess while asking careful questions of his faith. His own inquiries proved thoughtful, and he was as avid in politely asking after her beliefs as explaining his faith.
After their second hour together, she’d taken the liberty of calling Prelate Hi’meta Merlamiss. As a priestess of Drepna’s second circle, Merlamiss had proven a valuable contact over the years. Well connected, she enjoyed a good relationship with many other prelates of the Divine Halls; she also got on well with Xinfess, the Rakiri’s Speaker of the Dark Mother on Shil. A meeting with Barcio would readily open doors for his group that might otherwise prove difficult to attain, and while Barcio’s accent strained now and then, it was clear the Monsignor and the Prelate shared a questionably low sense of humor.
Given a chance, they’d probably get on famously.
Certainly, that would be a blessing. Their hunt for a suitable facility had not gone nearly so well, and while Barcio had been conciliatory toward the first two facilities, she could tell he wasn’t taken with either. The last property wasn’t high in her expectations, so she found herself casting her head to the side when it swept into view and he clasped his hands in excitement.
”*È bella!* This is beautiful,” he exclaimed. “It reminds me a bit of my childhood home in Sacile!”
She looked out at the complex with its low gabled roofs, as their cab wound up from the entrance. Beside the drive, a small river meandered through the campus past the main buildings. She tapped the console to slow their ride and considered the place in a new light. “I’m… well, a bit surprised to be honest, Friar.”
“Please! We have been traveling for hours now, and I am not holding a service.” The Friar spared her a warm smile, before gazing back at the premises. “I would take it as a great kindness if you would call me Santino.”
“Very well - on the condition you call me Wicama.” It had been some time since anyone called her by anything but title or rank, and the informality was pleasant. Still, as their autocab closed on the end of the lane, she let such thoughts go and considered the location properly.
The buildings were low, sensible cubes, but that was largely an end to it. The architect had made some unusual choices in Helkam motifs that strained understanding. A long colonnade bordered the river, and that seemed nice enough, but the buildings! Forgoing purple was one thing, but they were beige! With unusual elements and the repressively bland color scheme, it was small wonder the clerk handling the property confessed that the space had lain vacant. Its original owners went into foreclosure. The exotic design had proven unable to attract interest, laying dormant ever since.
Barcio… Santino… seemed delighted, however, and she pulled up the specifications on her omni-pad. “This site has two smaller auditoriums besides the main one, while the central building has four floors. One is underground, but all the floors face an interior atrium.”
As the cab gently halted in the car park, she climbed out to hold the door but Santino had already scrambled out and was examining the gardens with evident interest. Tall stands of parago trees were losing the last of their fronds for the year, but she had to admit the grounds were substantial. Yesterday’s storm had left the morning air cold and crisp, lending the gardens an appealing aspect. Untended since the last owners, much could be done with them.
She had given up trying to escort the Friar anywhere after their first two stops, and now they fell into an easy pace side by side as they strolled toward the main building. She turned back to the property itself. “So, this reminds you of your home?”
It wasn’t exactly Helkam architecture - domes weren’t covering every possible surface - but the builder had clearly been nodding in that direction. A promenade wound to the entry, supporting white chevrons that arced into the sky. The bright morning sky shone through clever cutouts, making the unusual design at least look light, rather than oppressive and unappealing. With a decent renovation, the facility had possibilities, and the price was comparatively low.
“*Si!* Oh, not so much like home, but there is the sense of it. I was born near the sea, and this feels… similar.” He gave her a depreciating smile before rolling his eyes. “It may not please everyone who is coming, but ‘everyone’ is not here, so I am allowed some indulgence! Better to have something waiting than nothing at all. I confess, some of my colleagues thought we’d only manage when the bridge to Messina is finished.”
“You should not have been sent ahead alone! Surely your colleagues were not that worried about a poor reception,” she tutted. Priest or no, there were decencies about a man traveling alone to be observed. “You shouldn't need a bridge to find a place for your mission. I don’t know where Messina is, but I’m certain Prelate Marlemis wouldn’t stand for it!”
“Tch! Excuse my poor efforts! The older I get, the more I remember things like yesterday. Unfortunately, the yesterdays I remember so well were thirty years ago!” Barcio smiled wryly up at her as they walked. “The ‘bridge to Messina’ used to be a saying… People dreamed of building a bridge to Sicily, and it became something that never happened. My English friends would instead say ‘when hell freezes over’. *Un'espressione volgare*, but very much to the point.”
“Ah… I’m sure we can manage something, and this could be made presentable. Maybe change the beige to a pale violet?” she offered helpfully as she made it to the door first, holding it open. “The aura inside isn’t so bad.”
“You’ve said that several times, but I do not know what you mean?” He paused in looking around the entry, which had an open foyer exposing the two floors above and led out to the atrium beyond. “What is ‘aura’? I do not think I know the word as you mean it.”
“Aura is… Hmm…” Wicama paused thoughtfully and gestured at the atrium. The interior was in better shape than the grounds, and the architect had done something clever. Not yet noon, a bevel along the top edge filled the space with sunlight. “Have you ever walked along a beach and wanted to save a shell? When you are there, that is aura… When you take the shell home and think of the beach, that is aura, but… less focused. Diminished. You sense the beach because of the shell, but you are not at the beach. Places can have aura, but it is more than character. If you move through a place and find yourself experiencing it? That is aura.”
“Mhm! *lodevole!* I like this idea very much. It would be right at home in the Vatican. Not everyone understands a space can move the spirit, or lend power to a message.” He nodded thoughtfully as he cast his eye about the open space. “With the right advice, perhaps we can lead others to these halls.”
“Perhaps. If you tour the Palace, I hope you’ll allow me to show you about? A lot of the real gems are hidden from the public.” She watched as he wandered toward the double-helixed stairways bordering the room. Those were definitely Helkam; walking up one side without meeting someone coming down the other was an interesting experience… once. After that, they could be an absolute nuisance. Spotting the elevators, she called him back. “The nice thing is this place is inexpensive! That will pad out your funds for a good remodel.”
Wicama quietly thanked the Goddesses that the builder’s had the good sense to install normal Shil’vati-style elevators. The sides were open, granting a wide view out over the atrium. The grounds were terraced to create a small park; that could make the underground space bearable, and the plans made them seem spacious enough. Not to everyone’s taste, but pretty. “I feel bad for asking, but can you afford the building? If the price of the first two bothered you, we can find others.”
“I would not hear of it! Thank you for your concern, but we are economical with our funds, and were sent with a generous sum. This is an important venture to everyone involved,” Barcio clasped a hand over his chest, as he shook his head. “I can not thank you enough for your help! You have surely spared me weeks, and I might not have found something half so suitable. As it is, the grounds are enough to gain me converts. Father Roscio and Pastor Weber will surely plant a vineyard before the inside is half done!”
“It’s not a problem. I have plenty of time,” she replied, dismissing the matter as inconsequential. “I work at the Palace, but with the Court away and my daughter at school, I’m a bit at loose ends just now. At the very least, I insist on helping you through the paperwork. I wouldn’t put it past some realty clerks to try and overcharge you… Someone from outside Shil, that is. I’ll ensure they stick to the listing.”
“To someone not from Shil… or someone who is not Shil’vati, perhaps?” His head canted slightly to one side, but he smiled as he said it. “*Certamente!* I would not dream of preventing you, though Rabbi Kleinbaum will be bitterly disappointed she has nothing to moan about.”
“I hope you won't take this badly, as I’ve only met one Human.” Wicama gave him a smile. She was long past girlish uncertainty, and the Navy had taught her a generous measure of professional poise to go with her skills as a markswoman. “You aren’t what I expected.”
“You know the professore, then?” He sucked in a breath and pursed his lips. “I am still deciding what sort of man he is.”
“No, actually, I know another Human but I’ve not… I have not… met Professor Warrick.”
“So. You mean that I am not *un barbaro*? I am here to make sure that we are seen as something more than savage warriors, *capisci*?” He studied her expectantly. “While the Imperium is doing good work on Earth, some still live in want. The Imperium provides enough for all to survive, but not all live in plenty. We need to present ourselves well.”
”That seems like a very secular outlook.” She offered, as they rode up to the third floor. Barcio asked for an explanation of the word, and by the time they’d made their way through the first offices he had the idea.
“My church has not always troubled itself with such things, but our holy father is greatly concerned with such inequalities. He takes it upon himself to address such matters with the Governess, when their time allows.”
“Your church has a good relationship with her?”
“È straordinario! The Governess adores our food, and while she was adamant about taking quarters in the Vatican, she has taken pains not to disturb us.” He shrugged dismissively. “*Cosa sai fare?* It seemed a small price, and we have endured far worse.”
“I used to hear terrible stories about red zones on Earth, though the Humans I’ve met don't seem the sort. It is good that your… pulp?” She tried the word and was rewarded with kind laughter and a gentle correction. “It is good that your pope concerns himself with the full welfare of the people and works with your governess. Our prelates share the same concerns.”
“I thought the Empress was the head of your church? Now, I find you have many…” he groped for a word, frowning, and gave up. “*Questo accento è una prova di fede!* ‘Denominations’ is not the right word, but she is the one revered, yes?”
“Of course! The Empress has to show all of our virtues and none of our faults, but that’s part of her role. To favor any divinity over the others could cause divisions. She has her personal preferences, of course, but never lets them be known.” Wicama explained carefully. “It would be in poor taste.”
“And poor politics, I think?” Santino gave her a long look. At his height it was difficult, but he managed. “This makes sense to me now, that the Imperium leaves matters of faith alone. *Una benedizione inaspettata.*”
Despite the serious topic, his fervent reply brought a smile back to her lips. “It seems your pope considers politics as well as economics.”
“People will always defend economic theories which assume that growth will inevitably succeed in bringing about greater justice. This has never been confirmed by the facts, and expresses a crude trust in the goodness of those wielding economic power and the sacralized workings of the prevailing economic system.” He said, stopping to clasp a hand over his cross. “Meanwhile, the excluded are still waiting.”
“That doesn't sound like scripture.” She offered cautiously, as they made their way into a wider suite of offices on the second floor.
“*Esattamente.* The words of Pope Francis, a good and blessed man who appointed me to my position. His successor, his holiness John Paul the Third, is much of the same mind,” Santino said quietly. “Our savior washed the feet of others and urged all to do the same. The hardest step is to be involved. To work together for change, as well as to pray. That is why I am here.
“*I pigri di cuore trovano sempre una scusa* Some Humans, they are yet angry with the Imperium. Now they have enough, they are bitter not to have plenty. For some there is never enough - the true poverty lies within their hearts,” Santino said a bit testily. “Our faith teaches us to find salvation in eternal life, but others? *Pigrizia!* They see it as an excuse from taking agency in themselves. Jesus washed the feet of others - he did not lay down and wait for someone to wash his!”
Wicama turned the unfamiliar metaphor over in her mind but decided she had the sense of it. “Sham teaches us that helping our families and one another is the same as helping ourselves. ‘The rising tide bares us all from the reefs’.” It was a matter of faith… but that was why it was faith in the first place. On the whole, it seemed like a mature perspective that explained the changes she’d seen in Prince Adam over the years. “You’re here to meet with others, but this seems as much about knowing yourselves.”
“*Sì, non è una brutta cosa avere umiltà davanti a Dio.* Human beings, while we are capable of the worst, we are also capable of choosing the good. Of rising up to make a new start. We are entering the galaxy.” He gestured out the window at the world beyond. “If not now… when?”
_ _ _ “So, when are you going to explain this masterpiece you four have been cooking up?” Marin asked. Sammi and Sam were barely awake but the twins had already arrived, bright-eyed and enthusiastic, and Marin cursed the resilience of youth. The room was acceptably warm, but Ayen had complained about the cold and used the excuse to slip back into bed. She was considering her options for joining him.
Somewhere, somehow, Sammi had found their rabbit pajamas again. “Sam, explain it to her? You do it better.” Sammi yawned, but Marin suspected it was an act. Once something got their attention, sleep was usually an afterthought.
“What, now?” Sam had barely stumbled into the room and blinked. Bleary-eyed and barely awake, he looked like he’d been ambushed, which was exactly the case.
“Pllllllleeeease…?” They sat back pulling the ears, giving their best Roger Rabbit impression. Luminous green eyes peered out at Sam, imploringly.
“Alright… I need coffee, but fine.” Sam trudged over to the kitchenette and poked listlessly at the instant coffee. It was getting perilously low, but Marin was sure he’d brought more on the ship. Eventually Sam gestured at the K’herbhal sisters with his mug. “So the girls want to create an artificial topological soliton. It's like a black hole, except where it isn't… It's sort of a kink in space-time.”
“Made you say kink!” Sammi grinned impishly and the girls blushed. Marin shook her head but paid attention. It felt far too early after another late night, but once everyone was up you had to hang on for whatever came next.
“So, what's that got to do with this… hole you want to use for power?” Marin raised her voice just enough to drag the conversation back on track.
“It’s more like a side effect. If it cuts the right angle, it goes into a realm of space-time we can tap for power. Think of it as an obverse of an energy drain, so it's like a white hole.”
“Let me guess.” Marin shook her head and grinned, holding up a hand to forestall the inevitable. “Except where it isn’t?”
“Ummm… pretty much.” Sam grumbled, blowing at his coffee. Marin glanced back at the twins. With Sam busy, the twins had gravitated to either side of Sammi. There was room left on the couch, and she wandered over to settle in beside one of them.
The Sams had been complaining for years about a lack of ‘focal power’ for their mass compression technologies, and while a rubber duck inside a diamond was impressive, they’d wanted to do something more - a lot more. She suspected if the twins were providing the means, then they already had something about to surface from the depths of their imaginations. Over the years she’d learned to pick a bit, rather than take their answers at straight value. “And if things don’t cut at the right angle? You remember how long it took to get rid of the Navy, when you started talking about making black holes?”
“It's not our fault they didn’t understand,” Sammi said defensively, crossing their arms and pouting at her before the rabbit ears fell over their face.
“Who didn’t understand what?” Akeimei yawned at the door. She cast a wink her way before wrapping her arms around Sam and gave him a quick hug. “What did I miss?”
“Umm… a parallel universe, if the math is right,” Sam mumbled from the depths of his coffee cup.
“What? Like identical versions of us?” Marin watched Akimei’s nose wrinkled at the smell before she slipped away from Sam. Slipped down beside her, they rubbed shoulders a moment. “Tell me, is there one where I get more sleep?”
“More or less identical… though it's not like you need to go into a parallel universe for that sort of thing. There’s already a ‘you’ out there somewhere right now, to say nothing of past and future ‘you’.” Sam scratched his cheek idly for a moment “It's just the math. The universe is so vast that there are exact physical cosmic twins of us out there somewhere, not to mention even more almost-twins.”
“Sam’s right!” Sammi perked up excitedly, bouncing on the sofa. “Then there are quantum cosmic twins - which gets weird because particles exist in multiple states and you’d sort of overlap… but the easiest one is probably just another us elsewhere in the universe right now! That's sort of the point where the universe is bigger than you can imagine!”
“So exactly the same… or almost.” One of the twins giggled. “Just like us!”
“Pretty much,” Sam nodded, slowly emerging from the depths of his coffee. “Another you out there on another Shil, or another me on a whole Earth, even - just a little bit different.”
“What? Like an Earth that never met the Imperium?” Marin canted her head, tossing out the obvious. It was hard to remember her life before, and she didn’t want to contemplate the alternative.
“Oh, I don't like that idea.” One of the twins stuck out her lip. “We want to come to Earth!”
“Yeah,” her sister nodded, though she suddenly looked glum. “I don’t know if Professor Warrick would mind though. He’d be with his wife and daughter, there.”
“Oh…” her sister's face crumpled. “I didn’t think of it that way.”
“Well, don’t…” Sammi hugged them both a moment, though they held the first twin a bit tighter. “The point is, somewhere he’s with them right now!”
“Wow, I guess so.” she brightened. “Just imagine! A whole Earth that never met the Shil’vati!”
“I wouldn’t worry, sis.” her twin nodded. “I think Professor Warrick is pretty happy right now.”
_ _ _
“I am not happy about this!” Tom glared at his omni-pad before tossing it down in frustration.
Miv looked up at her husband.
“It’s an honor!” She tucked her chin in and gave him a long, considered look, “What is it that’s bothering you - really? It wasn't Monsignor Barcio. Are you certain this isn't the same sort of thing?”
“Yes, I’m sure!” he growled, looking away like a guilty child. “Alright, maybe… but this uniform is the silliest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ll look like a mushroom, and the hat only makes it worse!" Tom grimaced at the omni-pad accusingly, "They won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, so now I’m on the rolls as a Warden Captain - whatever that is - and this ceremony is ridiculous!”
“The ceremony is traditional. Very symbolic... Besides, they don't make wardens out of anyone below the rank of captain - I looked it up. You were one before, so it's appropriate to make you one instead of a Warden Major or Warden Colonel.” She smiled at him serenely. “Surely, it can’t be the worst thing you’ve ever done.”
He turned to wag a finger her way. “I’ll take that bet!”
“Worse than our wedding reception…?” She crooned, teasing him. “Or maybe pre-term night? I swear by the Goddess no one will pinch your ass, except for Lea and I.”
“Fine…” Her smile grew wider as he grumbled, but he was calming down already and there wasn't heat in it. Still, he stubbornly clung on to the point a while longer. "It’s in my top five.”
“I’m sure you’ll survive, husband. Now then, I have meetings all afternoon, so why don't you finish reviewing the menu? You’ll feel better when all this is over and you can go back to cooking, chess, or starting that eeeyiy club… You might even give Ce’lani a call or message her?” She gathered her coat and smiled demurely, though it harbored nothing innocent. “If I’m not here you’ll have perfect privacy… Just don't promise anything you wouldn't promise to me.”
“It’s iai-do…” Tom groused, but he was already picking up his omni-pad.
She blew him a kiss and made her way toward the commons. Tom would probably stew a while, but he’d make the call.
There would be time to meet with Ce’lani on the common, before she had to come home for dinner.
_ _ _
Tom looked over the banquet menu as if it might reach out and bite him. The words stared up at him with perfect innocence.
Appetizer: Fruit and Cheese Platter - Slices of various cheeses and fruits on a platter providing a delicate mix of sweet, tangy and creamy to invigorate the dining experience. Serve with a selection of sweet and semi-sweet wines.
Soup: Choice of Tomato or French Onion Soup - Served with a piece of baguette and cheese.
Salad: Strawberry Salad with Poppy Seed Dressing -- an assortment of greens and fruit with a balsamic grain dressing to cleanse the palate.
Entree: Cornish Pasty - This herb-infused meat and pastry dish provides a counterpoint to the tangy taste of the salad and soup. Served with a creamy buttered mashed potato (a vegetable, humanely prepared!) with chives (also a vegetable). Served with a selection of wines or ales.
Dessert: Chef’s Sorbet Surprise - A sweet treat complemented by a palate cleanser, ending the meal on a piquant note.
His last call with Bherdin had been a trial and a half. Omni-pads were the definition of ‘high fidelity’, and hearing the little Shil’vati hyperventilate for ten minutes over the plan was pointless. At least Melondi had easier going with Vedeem on her side... one way or another this was happening.
As a final consolation, he relented on wearing matching suits. Bherdin frequently bemoaned Tom’s 'lamentable' fashion sense, and he perked up at that, promising to get him some appropriate formalwear for the occasion.
Privately, he suspected his Shil’vati friend was looking for a convenient alibi if a riot started.
In fairness, it probably wasn't a bad idea.
“Too late to use it myself…” he muttered. It wasn’t quite noon, and Miv was probably right. Instead of Chess Club or starting Iai-do practice or just cooking out at Human Food, he was stuck here at home. Miv’s place was bigger, but most of his stuff was still in boxes; it left him listless and climbing the walls. If this worked, at least things could get back to normal.
…Mostly normal…
He flipped back to the picture of the Warden uniform on his omni-pad. It was bad enough, but the hat made the whole thing look like a blue toadstool in silver filigree.
He swiped the picture away like an act of revenge, but didn’t toss the pad back on the table.
…Miv was right... and I promised to call Ce’lani…
Tom centered himself, pulling up the number. The universe was always in motion and a good Taoist accepted their part in what came. That was the lesson of ‘the Vinegar Tasters’, and it held true… The painting showed three men standing around a vat of vinegar. Each has dipped his finger into the vinegar and tasted it. The expression on each man's face showed his individual reaction.
The painting was an allegory for Confucius, Buddha, and Lao-tse. Confucius wore a sour look on his face. He believed life was out of harmony with the universe. As the second figure in the painting, Buddha had a bitter expression. Like the vinegar, life was painful and filled with attachments and desires that led to suffering. The last man, Lao-tse, was smiling at the taste. To him, harmony existed naturally and could be found by anyone at any time in any experience.
He thought about his buddy Dave. The old Marine would probably shake his head and tell him to ‘embrace the suck.’ It pretty much boiled down to the same thing.
Not that he was against calling. Miv and Lea had practically taken turns urging him on and giving their views on why it was a good idea. They hadn't harped about it, but he knew which way the wind was blowing. And Ce’lani’s message had been short, sweet in the literal sense, and the sound file she’d offered up had been…
…Pretty nice, really…
If he still said no, or decided he didn't like where this was going, they’d back his choice, of course. He didn't have a doubt in his mind… But with everything else in his life turned upside down, calling Ce’lani seemed like a calm in the eye of a storm.
…It's just a phone call. Leave the chaos at the gate…
He settled down on the couch to check his messages before giving her a call. It was nearly lunch…

Maryland is also known by the name of "America in Miniature" because of its numerous diversity in geography and culture. This makes it the perfect east coast location for those who like to see something of all. From amusement parks, beaches, historic sites and mountains There is plenty to do and see.
Maryland Zoo in Baltimore The Maryland Zoo in Baltimore has been in existence for more than 150 years. It was established in the historical Druid Hill Park in 1876. The zoo is one of the oldest Zoos in the world. Some believe it is the third or even the second oldest. The zoo includes five major areas: the Schaefer Plaza, Central area, Maryland Wilderness, African Journey, and Northern Passage. There are many events happening throughout the year that enhance the enjoyment of animals in the Zoo.
Salisbury Zoological Park Salisbury Zoological Park is the smallest zoo in Salisbury It has about 100 animals spread across 12 acres. They are focused on animals that originate from North as well as South America and Australia. The main attractions are the exhibit of a sloth and the exhibits that include Bear, Alpaca, and Jaguar. Museum is free, but they do accept donations. It is accessible all day, except during Thanksgiving and Christmas.
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National Aquarium Few places can boast of being the national office and Baltimore's National Aquarium in Baltimore does. It is home to over 1.5 million people visiting it each year. The tanks contain 2.2 million gallons of water. They also house more than 17,000 of the animals. It includes things such as the Upland Tropical Rainforest, an Atlantic Coral Reef, an open ocean shark tank and an Australian region. The aquarium is situated on an inner harbour's waterfront. in Baltimore's downtown. Baltimore.
Glen Echo Park Aquarium This is an aquarium with a smaller size in Glen Echo Park, which is closer to D.C. than it is close to Baltimore however it is still too far away from Baltimore. It houses several hundred animals as well as a touch tank as well as interactive exhibits for kids as well as adults. It is mostly focused on the aquatic creatures in the Chesapeake Bay and the rivers that drain into the bay. There is a pirate ship on which it is possible that you can meet pirates as well as search for treasure. The venue is available for birthday celebrations and other special occasions.
The Inner Harbor There is a beautiful waterfront, with an attractive walkway through which it is possible that you will be able to observe many birds and maybe some sea animals. There are several historic ships in this harbour dating from the 1800s. There are many museums to visit that include children's museums, as well as informative programs on sea animals and marine creatures that inhabit the Chesapeake Bay.
Catoctin Wildlife Preserve The Catoctin Wildlife Preserve is an area in which animals are allowed to live in the same way as its natural surroundings. It is home to bears, monkeys, panthers, zebras and many more in the park's 100 acres. It is situated somewhere between Thurmond as well as Hagerstown. There are several interactions with animals that are possible, and there are opportunities to feed and pet the animals. The zoo is closed for winter for a few months in the course of the year.
Plumpton Park Zoo It is located in the Plumpton Park Zoo is in the village located in Rising Sun, along Route 273 Also called Route 273, also known as Mason and Dixon Scenic Byway. It is accessible all year long, every day of the week; however, hours vary in the winter and summer months. The zoo houses more than 200 animals, the majority of them were brought in by individuals who were unable to take care of their animals anymore.
Insect Zoo There are many displays that feature insects like flies, spiders, roaches and a variety of other types of insects that are native to Maryland. Professional etymologists offer a guiding tour that explains everything you're interested in knowing about insects and how they can benefit our world. The insect aquarium is part of Maryland's University of Maryland.
Blackwater National Wildlife Refuge The Blackwater Wildlife Refuge was started in 1933 in order to protect the sanctuary of waterfowl as it is situated along the Atlantic Flyway for migrating birds. The region is well-known for its eagles as well. There is an eagle-themed festival every year. There are many bird of prey programs including children's programs and refuge tours.
Cranesville Subarctic Swamp The Cranesville Subarctic Swamp is a tiny sanctuary near Oakland in northern Maryland. It is a tiny forest which is home to a variety of species of unique animals, plants and birds. The swamp is an ancient peat bog which was formed around 15000 years ago following an Ice Age. This is an excellent spot to observe birds of all varieties, including threatened Bog Copper Butterflies.

So, its been a week since my wife declared she wanted a divorce. We went three days where she refused to speak to me, answer the phone, or respond via text. Yesterday was our first dialogue via 45 minute phone call where she essentially said she has no hope for the marriage and still wants out.
Im short, we have both been seeing the same group counselor we recently went to, only now we are going individually and we both saw him last night. Before my appointment last night, she sent me a text that I needed to sign an offer in my email for a 650 thousand dollar house. We are doing a long distance relationship for her work as a new real estate brokeagent for a multimillion dollar company, and this will be her second home in virginia within the same city that she owns. The reasoning: She needs a second home for our two kids (one of whom is only home for summer during his last year of college), and the other is our 12 year old. The condo she currently owns only has one additional bedroom since she is renting a room out to her cousin. Also, while this condo is in a very nice neighborhood 2 blocks from the boardwalk, there is a registered sex offender 2 blocks down from our sons bus stop.
I totally get the desire for this extra place. Its close to her family, and solves the issues of being close to any sex offenders as it is a nicer neighborhood.
The kicker is that she needs me to cosign this loan while also being adamant about a separation. She cant get the loan via home-sale contingency of her condo because the market trends right now make that an unfavorable offer. To make things even more complicated, our financial lender is taking into account that we will be selling our joint home in maryland which is my home for work (I am a military doctor). So this essentially leaves her with two homes, me with about-to-be none, and a military career to support up here while i scramble to find financial backing for a new place up here thats smaller.
She said the deal needs signed “tonight.” I get it, the real estate market is volatile. I told her i would speak with the counselor tonight and i advise that she does as well because it confuses me of her intentions in the marriage (split or reconcile) and it doesn’t make sense to enter a financial agreement like this where she is dependent on my finances to maintain her mortgages if her intentions are to separate.
My counselor that night said no-go. He said the marriage is too delicate to even consider this. If she needs a new home, we should speak with a financial advisor. He also told her this individually.
That night she called me for the second time since her split. Short phone call. Our dialogue via phone:
She told me that that she asked the counselor if she was borderline and said the counselor told her she was not (after 2 sessions total with him: 1 individual and 1 group). Then she said regarding the home, the counselors solution for her was to speak to a financial advisor.
She told me i should sign the offer on the house regardless of what the counselor said. She retaliated when i said we should speak with our financial advisor like it was suggested. She responded “what financial advisor,” and gave an emotional response by saying “what are we going to do with our two kids.”
I told her my older son will only be there for a month or two, for that time my 12 year old can sleep in the master bedroom like he usually does when I come in town until the older son leaves back for college.
She said
“you know im not gonna screw you, what the counselor doesn’t understand is we don’t have a financial advisor. What are we gonna do with these two kids?”
I told her calmly I thought it was best to follow the advice we were given. She said “this is bullshit, i knew i should have just gotten off the phone already.”
And then she hung up on me.
I called her back after transcribing the dialogue in my journal, and i told her: “I just wanted to let you know that you’re an amazing person, I care about you, and I miss you, and I just wanted you to go to bed tonight with a positive note.
Her response: you need to figure out what to do with these two kids.
I said: “Is there anything positive you would like to leave me with tonight?”
She said, “no.” And we both said bye.
My dilemma: My wife is unable to receive any of the positive things I do for her or say to her if there is something she is actively asking for that gets denied to her from me. I am looked at as all bad, no positive qualities, and I am treated less than a stranger on the street or one of her coworkers.
Example: She wants home deal signed tonight. i deny per joint counselors advice, but supply a calm and respectful demeanor in the conversation, maintain sobriety (alcohol has caused problems throughout the marriage), and end with words of affirmation to lift her up (which is her love language).
Her response: anger, what I feel is emotional manipulation , use of curse words disrespectfully, hanging up on me, and telling me that she has nothing nice to say to me.
I feel that I only have value as a human being when I am supplying her with her demands. And, im sorry, but I am not buying that the counselor can really tell her she is not borderline after having two one hour sessions with her, one of which is her one sided story. If she isn’t borderline, well thats great news….. but there is a lot of hidden history he couldn’t possibly see in two hours of focused interviewing.
Lastly… I get the whole sex offender thing, but there are at least work arounds from using that bus stop and options we could discuss temporarily. He had actually used that bus stop for over two years in the past before we had ever checked the sex offender list and there are multiple scattered close by in that part of the beach so I am doubting it was much different. It was never a problem in the past to her. This is an important issue to me, but I feel its manipulative to say that the ONLY option is to buy a home NOW by using the current financial plan we (and by we I mean SHE) have.
Thanks for reading. I really appreciate any comments. This has been a dark time for me (honestly, dark is an understatement). I feel absolutely alone, like I have no value, and i strangely still am in love with this woman.

Just got back from a solo trip through South Africa, and despite all the cautions and reservations I heard on- and off-line, I loved every bit of it! Sharing some quick notes here for reference, and happy to answer any queries from people thinking of travelling there.
Profile
34 yo Indian man. Not the primest of targets for crime, admittedly, but I didn't really look like a poor write-off as well.
Dates
21 May 2023 - 31 May 2023
Itinerary
2N in Johannesburg with visits to Apartheid Museum, Soweto, and Rosebank Mall. Stayed at Clico Boutique Hotel in Rosebank. Found the city to be pleasant and well worth the stopover, also perfectly safe if navigated using Uber or through join-in tours.
3N in Greater Kruger, specifically at Nyati Safari Lodge in the Balule Reserve, with 2x game drives daily (morning and evening). Saw 3 of the big 5 (missed out on Rhinos and Leopards but have seen them earlier in India, so no heartache) as well as animals unique to Africa - hippos (right outside my room!), zebra, giraffes, and more antelopes than I can remember the names of. Also did a bushwalk, and loved all the bush sundowners and breakfasts. It was absolutely safe inside the lodge, the bigger threats mere mischeivous monkeys raiding the mini-bar. This was my first African Safari experience, and I loved every bit of it - can definitely see myself become a safari hoe in the years to come.
2N in Franschhoek, with a day-long self-cycle through the region (the road from Berg River Dam to Huguenot Memorial is beautiful), and more wine tastings (highly recommend Eikehof and Glenwood) than I'd had in the entirety of my life till the day. The place was my favourite in SA - beautiful, delicious, creative, and a bubble of safety. Stayed at the lovely Chanteclair guesthouse (the host Allan is a gem).
3N in Cape Town, with visits to Table Mountain, the waterfront, a peninsula tour (Camp's Bay, Hout Bay, Chapman's Peak, Cape of Good Hope, Boulders Penguin Colony, and Muizenberg), Kirstenbosch, Company's Garden, Zeitz MCAA (fantastic if you're into art) and Bo Kaap (with the lovely and free Cape Town Walking Tours). The city is easily one of the most, if not the most, beautiful in the world - the setting is spectacular, even in the cold, windy, rainy weather I was there in. It was also markedly safer than Joburg, and there were several parts of town where walking around didn't make me feel as on-edge. Stayed at Taj Cape Town (stellar downtown hotel which allows easier access to the actual city than the tourist enclave hotels of the lively but sterile Waterfront area).
Safety
Almost everyone I spoke to before visiting South Africa painted it as a free-for-all crime zone. I'd be mugged, raped, killed, or whatnot here, they said. Don't go alone. Don't go at all. All of it, ofcourse, turned out to be overblown, panic-stricken hogwash. I navigated the country without incident. BUT I didn't just stroll into town with an open wallet either - I made sure to stay at good hotels (within my budget), keep my valuables hidden away like in a secure backpack or an inside pocket, check locally for safety advice, and use Ubers or tours wherever recommended. These weren't special safety procedures designed for South Africa, mind you, they were just common precautions I'd use in any country I was visiting. It helped my travel remain incident free, and the only time I was approached by someone mildly unsavoury was when a drunk man stumbled past saying 'Good day brother' in Bo Kaap. The biggest threat to my safety in SA turned out to be marauding monkeys at my lodge near Kruger who raided the neighbouring room's minibar and made away with milk and coffee sachets. Also, contrary to some advice, things left lying around in my hotel room as well as check-in baggage at the airports remained absolutely safe and untampered.
Power (Cuts)
Load shedding is rife, and Joburg was seeing 10-12 hours of load shedding while I was there. However, all my hotels had power backup, and all the spots I visited had power backup (wherever needed), so I effectively only ever noticed loadshedding during the switch-overs between supply and gensets in my smaller Joburg and Franschhoek hotels. I even disabled the push notifications for the power supply app (ESP) because it was of no real use to me any more. Moral of the story - make sure your hotel has power backup, and carry a power bank in the unlikely event you find yourself at a cafe without electricity. Also, check up on the power points - I didn't do my research properly and had to buy two overpriced plugs in Joburg.
Weather
Joburg had crisp weather with lots of sun, but cool temperatures. Kruger had warm days and cool nights - layers were essential! Franschhoek was kinda like Joburg weather, while Cape Town was windy and rainy. The only place I could contemplate swimming was in Kruger and in the heated pool of my Cape Town hotel.
Food
EXCELLENT everywhere, even in remote Kruger. Franschhoek, however, was a highlight - if there's one place you'd want to splurge for good food, it's here. Also helps that the wine is cheap and plentiful and sublime. For vegetarians and vegans, most restaurants had symbols identifying suitable menu items, and everyone speaks English so its easy to clarify. Would recommend making online reservations at the more popular fine dining spots.
Costs
On the whole, South Africa is very affordable for someone used to American or European or Japanese or Singaporean prices, especially with the unabated fall of the ZAR. Coming from India, however, it was a bit of a mixed bag - dining out was very cheap, and hotels were great value, but domestic flights and longer taxi transfers (like Cape Town - Franschhoek or the day tours) felt expensive. Uber rides and high street shopping were just a tad pricier than I'm used to in India while the coffee and alcohol prices were an absolute delight. Entrance tickets to most sights, however, are fairly steep and much closer to the European norm than the African or Asian. That said, major sights are professionally managed, clean, safe, and have power backup.
Tipping is expected, I'd round things upward of 10% of the bill amount, except at a fine dining experience in Franschhoek where a service charge was explicitly included and informed about. Tips can be added to the card machine and need not necessarily be paid in cash.
Paying by card is practically universal in tourist-friendly spots (including entry tickets and even for smaller payments), and I didn't need to exchange any extra cash or use an ATM. Visa and Mastercard work everywhere ofcourse, and Amex has appreciable reach as well. Diner's Club and others, however, won't help.
It's good to exchange a small amount like 100 USD to help with petty payments like parking tickets or small tips or quick bites from convenience stores.
Communication
I purchased a Vodacom sim on arrival at Johannesburg, and it worked well everywhere, even giving 5G in most of Joburg, Cape Town, and Franschhoek centre. Data and talktime prices were a tad expensive (I'm spoilt because it's dirt cheap in India), but it was easy to top things up online or at stores on-the-go.
Free WiFi was widely available at airports, tourist sights, restaurants, malls etc, and worked quite decentl
Getting around
Uber works well in Joburg and Cape Town, with many local recommending Uber X. Bolt, however, was universally NOT recommended because it wasn't very reliable. I didn't try public transport, but heard that the Gautrain in Joburg and the Myciti BRT in Cape Town were safe and good quality.
I also flew from Johannesburg to Hoedspruit and Hoedspruit to Cape Town with Airlink, which was a great little regional airline with good service, punctual arrivals/departures, and a very tourist-friendly schedule and network. The tickets were quite overpriced though, and Amex refused to work on their own website, but I did get to check-in on to business class seats on economy tickets so I guess it was good overall.
I didn't self-drive. However, I met several travellers who did it (including a German lady who was campervanning solo across the entirety of southern Africa), and they reported it being easy and safe. The only precautions were to make sure you were hiring from a reputable company, not driving too much at night (out of fear of being stranded more than anything else), and purchasing the insurance plan with the agent. I did use plenty of roads, and generally observed that most highways were in decent shape and allowed for 100+ kmph speeds. Petrol stations were plentiful, and many came attached with convenience stores and mini-malls, usually with power backup. For parking, you'd usually have a local tout popping up helping you manouevre the car and watch over it for a small 5-10 ZAR tip (don't skimp on this, as petty thieves have been known to break into unattended cars to pilfer whatever they can, though I never ever saw this in action - practically every street in every town had a parking attendant on hand).
I did cycle around Franschhoek by myself and it was fantastic, much better than the kitschy Wine Tram experience. It was also very safe, and I even biked through town for dinner and some moonlight photos. The only bugbears were car traffic on the main roads, and a caution by the bike rental shop against leaving the night lamp on the bike unattended (had to unlatch it and keep it on me instead - but still, safer than biking in Amsterdam lol).
Getting there
Joburg is the biggest international airport with the better flight deals and has direct flights to all inhabited continents. It's a fairly modern and easy-to-use terminal, and I didn't observe any of the usual scams. Cape Town is the better looking airport, but has fewer connections, although it's still easy to get here with a simple transit at a major hub like London or Dubai. Durban also has a middle-sized airport with a handful of long haul links.
Most other airports are small - Hoedspruit was basically a collection of open-to-air pavillions - and have only domestic flights to the likes of JNB or CPT. Nelspruit, in southern Kruger has a few Airlink connections with Victoria Falls and the Mozambique coast, aimed at holidayers.
As an Indian, I was eligible for an evisa but the system never worked, taking my documents but never letting me pay the application fee. I instead applied manually at Delhi's VFS centre, and got my visa in 2 days (the VFS staff also told me that the evisa portal was hopeless and I shouldn't even have bothered). The evisa system finally budged while I was en-route to JNB, telling me that my application was rejected because I never submitted a bank statement (which I did) and completely ignored the fact that I never paid for my application (thanks to the inactive payment link). The rejection clearly didn't get slotted in anywhere because Immigrations was absolutely fine with my stamped-visa and didn't bother asking me anything other than why I was visiting and when I'd leave.
I flew in on Etihad via Abu Dhabi (decent airline but the airport needs a lot of work to compete with its neighbours) and back on Emirates via Dubai (excellent airline with very generous meals and a great IFE, as well as a huge and modern megahub airport experience albeit with overpriced food and shopping). Flight timings were fairly convenient both ways, with day-time arrivals and check-ins.
People
Some of the friendliest I've ever met! Everybody is happy to have a zany chat, and conversations can quickly become pal-ly and banter-ful if you're open enough. On the whole South Africans felt fairly extroverted and loosened up - very informal and sleeves-rolled-up. You'll have to excuse yourself out of a conversation, else you'll be left talking to them the whole day and not have any time left to sightsee.
Race
Speaking as an outsider who only observed things for 10 odd days, I felt that there's still a decent amount of racial segregation at play in SA.
While many lower-paying jobs are almost exclusively held by blacks and the colours thanks to the country's history of institutionalised racism, Blacks and Coloured peoples can now also be commonly seen in upscale areas as guests and visitors. However, the majority of patrons in these locations appeared to be white and Afrikaans speaking. I also only ever saw one mixed group - a white lady entertaining a black man and his daughter at a Cape Town waterfront restaurant where I was having dinner.
I did share a few drinks with Joburg-based white couples at my safari lodge, and on the whole, they didn't feel inherently racist. They in fact remembered the Mandela and Mbeki days with pride, and felt that most of the crime in South Africa was thanks to the corruption in the African National Congress (they were all praises for the opposition who holds sway in the Cape) and immigrants from neighbouring countries - they rather trusted Black South Africans for everyday affairs. At my Cape Town hotel, meanwhile, I met a few black businessmen and politicians at the pool and gym, and they told me similar things - that the ANC was corrupt, immigrants are to blame for crime etc, and didn't really have any strong opinions about whites. These experiences contrasted greatly with my conversation with a white Afrikaner pensioner in my Zanzibar hotel ten years ago, who was spewing hate against black crime after two whiskeys.
Since I'm Indian, I was often mistaken for a local - everybody (regardless of their race) would be taken aback when they heard my accent and learnt I was actually not South African (which has a large South Asian origin community) or even African (many South Asian origin peoples in eastern Africa and Mauritius especially). This spoke volumes to me - in the UK, where I studied and which now has an Indian-origin PM and a hugely visible South Asian diaspora, people would still ask me 'what country are you from?' on appearance alone. It really did emphasize how SA was more of a rainbow nation than just a slogan.
What did I like?
Practically everything, even Joburg. The safari experience was better than I expected, Cape Town was breathtaking, and Franschhoek became my favourite little town in the world. Also loved the food and the wine, and loved meeting and chatting with the locals. Of all the countries I've visited, SA is the one I'm surest about wanting to return to - and I'm not trying to be diplomatic - I honestly felt like I need more time here.
What didn't I like?
I disliked how such a great country with excellent basic infrastructure is being mismanaged. EVERYONE I spoke to was complaining about how corruption killed the country's power supply system and railways and is now threatening other aspects of life. None of these directly or visibly impacted my travels, but I would've liked being able to take a train instead of flights or not spend a premium to stay at places that had generators.
Anything I'd change?
While Joburg turned out to be a pleasant place, had I the option, I'd have skipped it to spend more time in Cape Town. I'd also spend a few more days in Franschhoek and around - the area turned out to be my favourite. Now that I've also had a lay of the land, I'm more confident about self-driving next time I visit. Also, I only realised how convenient it is to travel from SA to neighbouring countries, and would like to latch on visits to the Namibian desert, Botswana's game parks, the Victoria Falls on the Zambia-Zimbabwe border, and the beaches of Mozambique alongside a return to SA.
I realise I could have managed some things better on this trip, but bottom line is that I enjoyed it, and that this is not a 'who had the best trip' competition. I'm just sharing my positive experience of South Africa in the hope that it encourages others to properly and safely plan a trip to the place instead of avoiding it out of second-hand-scares.
Happy to take any follow ups in the comments :)

Hello lovely readers,
Welcome to the second and final discussion of Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands by Kate Beaton. This autobiographical comic was Canada Reads (an annual "battle of the books") winner for 2023. You can read the first discussion here.
Summary
The story picks up one month after that horrible party. Kate sleeps with Mike. She continues to get weird sexual comments from the men she works with, but she has started to laugh the comments off. Many of the men seem to have problems with her giving them orders, and her superiors get pissy with her for minor things or for wanting ‘special treatment’. Joe, a fellow Nova Scotian, overhears her swearing in frustration and tells her that everyone at the mine is just yelling at the guy next to them for work they’re not doing themselves, but that people tend to be friendlier to people from their own region of Canada. Kate wonders aloud to Doug whether the oil sands make people better or worse.
The men at the mine have heard that Kate’s ‘little friends’ (her sister Becky and friend Lindsay) are going to be joining them, and she warns them to leave them alone. When Becky and Lindsay arrive, they are wearing skirts and they quickly notice the staring and weird behaviour from the men on site. Kate apologises for it, and they wonder why she is saying sorry.
Kate tells Becky and Lindsay that the other men have been leaving her alone since most people know about her and Mike, and they tell her it’s because in their eyes she’s ‘claimed’.
They take a trip to Gregoire Beach, but Kate doesn’t wear a swimsuit or go swimming. Becky asks her what’s up with her, as she’s noticed something is wrong. Kate talks about how everything at the beach seems so normal, but that she isn’t. However, she doesn’t explain further.
Kate looks for other jobs online, and sees a post for a job at the Maritime Museum of British Columbia in Victoria, the capital of British Columbia.
Not long afterwards, she sees the man who forced himself on her at that party. He and the group of men he’s with see her and they start laughing.
Kate hears a man playing Peter’s Dream on his guitar, and joins in singing the song.
She goes to Becky’s room and tells her that she needs to leave the oil sands for a while, even though she and Lindsay have just arrived. She asks her to promise that she and Lindsay will look out for each other, and finally tells her about the assaults. Becky tells her that it wasn’t her fault, and wishes she had been there sooner to protect her as that’s her job as the big sister. She tells Kate that it happened to her too, at her university dorm. She tells Kate she should go.
We leave the oil sands, for a year in Victoria. Kate gets the museum job but it’s no more than 21 hours per week, so she gets a second job. In a coffee shop, she hears the song An Innis Aigh playing, and tells a woman who was wondering aloud about the language that it’s Gaelic.
Victoria seems like a nicer place than the oil sands, but it isn’t perfect – the city big problems with homelessness and mental health, but none of the old, rich people living there care [read runner note – according to Victoria’s Wikipedia page, the city is known for its disproportionately large retiree population. Some 23.4% of the population of Victoria and its surrounding area are over 65 years of age, which is higher than the overall Canadian distribution of over 65 year-olds in the population (19%). A historically popular cliché refers to Victoria as the home of "the newly wed and nearly dead"]. Kate is fired from her job for not taking American money and not wanting to sell the merchandise badly enough. One of her colleagues (I think?) sees her drawing a comic, and suggests that she should make a website.
Kate tells her parents that on her days off she works at a grocery store, and her father wonders what her degree was for. Shortly afterwards, she is fired from the grocery store for yawning and ‘being surly’. She goes on a date, but panics when the guy tries to kiss her at the end.
Kate can’t get a reprieve from her student loan payments, even though she paid half of it off the previous year with her oil sands earnings. She decides to go back to the oil sands to pay the rest off, and says goodbye to the museum.
After that brief reprieve, we’re back in the oil sands, this time at Shell Albian Sands. Kate has taken a job in the warehouse office, and her living quarters are a bit fancier than at the previous sites. The site also has a Tim Hortons, Wi-Fi and a gym, even yoga classes. Lindsay tells her that a lot of the warehouse crew from Long Lake have moved up there too. One of her new colleagues is Hatim, who is creepy in a new way, plaguing her with messages despite having a wife and children.
The team get a congratulations message with a gif for achieving three million man hours without a lost time incident (LTI). Kate’s boss, Ryan, tells her that they don’t have LTIs at the site because they look bad for the company, I guess implying that they cover them up.
She sees Doug again, who seems to feel that she’s all high and mighty now with her office job, and struggles with her ‘bossing him’ since she’s younger than him (and presumably because she’s female). When she has to cover a warehouse shift, Doug laughs about how she’s down from on high and has gone soft. He tells her that he sang with The Men of the Deeps and even sang for the queen, which she doubts because he has a terrible voice. She sings a bit of Coal Town Road (which I’m kind of disappointed doesn’t sound like Old Town Road) and asks if she could be in the choir too, but he seems annoyed about her singing a mining song when she’s not a miner.
Kate’s sister Becky is still working at Long Lake, but lives in Fort McMurray, and Kate goes to meet her there; she says it’s much better than living in the camp. She tells Kate, that one time a guy jumped out of the closet in her room, but she was able to kick him out. She always locked her door, but often heard the handle jiggling at night. She even had a stalker, who managed to get into her room with a bottle of alcohol and suggested doing body shots – she didn’t report it, but when he got fired everyone thought she had.
Kate struggles to read some of the order sheets because many of the workers are bad spellers or have unclear handwriting; many of the older men at the mine left school in grade six. Lindsay tells her about one of the lead hands from Newfoundland, who can’t read, and was humiliated by the other workers when they tried to make him read the safety memo aloud so they could laugh at him. Lindsay says she’s never seen a grown man ashamed like that, and they discuss how he’s one of the nicest guys there.
A group from the Calgary office visits the mine site, and Kate has to find the nice hard hats and safety vests for the visitors, the ones the actual workers can’t have because they’re too fancy. Basically, they have to put on a show for the head office people – everyone has to look sharp, make things tidier than normal etc. One of the visitors takes a photo of Kate. After they leave, Damian asks if he can have one of the fancy new vests, but they were taken back to Calgary even though they don’t need them at head office.
Kate continues doing her comics, and her colleagues occasionally read them. Ryan finds some of them in the scanner, which she had used to upload them to her website, and tells her not to leave her stuff lying around at work.
Becky and Kate discuss what it would have been like if their father had gone out to the oil sands to work when they were children, as many people did. They wonder if he would have been like the other men they work with, and how they must all be normal at home. Kate says she tries to remember that there are a lot of men who don’t bother her, but she doesn’t remember them because they’re not the ones in her face.
Their safety lectures tell them basic information about how ice is slippery and is all over the ground, which presumably every Canadian already knows. One of the men remarks that it’s not about safety, but an arse-covering exercise so that a worker can’t sue them if they fall. Kate doodles a pony in her notebook (thank you u/Amanda39 for linking to this comic in last week’s discussion!).
Many of the staff have families that they don’t see very often. One of the men gets a phonecall from his wife’s phone, which he answers thinking it’s an emergency as she never calls during the day; it turns out to be his young son, who is calling to see when he’s coming home next.
Brian asks Kate if she heard about the ducks (TITLE DROP!!); three hundred of them got stuck in a tailings pond at another oil sands site [read runner note – two years later, Syncrude was actually found guilty of the death of 1,600 ducks]. The site begins installing anti-waterfowl devices, and the staff are reminded that they have to wear PPE at all times. They’re also told about the death Gerald Snopes, another worker; some of the men talking amongst themselves, and Ryan tells them to have some respect. He had a heart attack while operating a crane, and threw himself out of the cab so that he wouldn’t land on the controls and cause an accident.
Kate hears about a road accident involving some men from Cape Breton. She asks Davy about it to see if she knows them, but neither of them do. Kate finds the news articles and feels annoyed that they were misidentified as Calgary men.
Kate notices some welts on her back; Lindsay has them too but doesn’t know what it is. Kate mentions all the dust they have to wipe off everything, and how there’s so much crap in the air. Lindsay wonders what kind of cancer they’ll have in 20 years.
Kate finds Doug building a scarecrow for the tailings pond, which is meant to scare off the ducks. Probably another arse-covering exercise.
Activists from Greenpeace try to block an oil sands pipeline, and 11 people are arrested. One of the workers gets angry about it, asking who will put their life on the line to unclog the pipe Greenpeace has blocked, and that it sure as hell won’t be the president of Shell. Kate hears about another death – a contractor was in his trucks, and one of the heavy haulers drove over it, crushing him.
Lindsay writes an article for a grassroots paper, giving the inside perspective on working at the oil sands. Kate considers doing a comic about it for them. Lindsay later wonders if she made a mistake writing her article, as many of the comments are critical, including many from women which Lindsay did not expect.
Kate sees a video on YouTube of Celina Harpe, an elder in the Cree community of Fort McKay, talking about the effect of the oil sands on the First Nation. Kate had not realised when she arrived there that Fort McKay was a First Nation, nor that it was so close to Syncrude. She thinks about how she’s not the president of Shell, but she’s still working there, and she can’t extract herself from having come.
At another safety meeting, the staff are down the safety pyramid, which has different levels: at the base it has at-risk behaviours, then near misses, then minor incidents, and it all leads to a major incident or a fatality.
Kate receives a phone call from a reporter at the Globe and Mail who had seen her comics about the oil sands. She asks several leading questions about her experience as a woman at the remote sites and the harassment, but Kate feels uncomfortable giving her examples. She later tells Lindsay that she couldn’t talk to the reporter as she felt like she just wanted gossip, and that the story was already written before she called.
The leering of one of the other workers bothers Kate in the lunchroom, and she tells Lindsay about her assaults. Lindsay is horrified that Mike and Brian laughed at her when she told them about it. Lindsay tells her that it happened to her in university as well.
Kate calls her parents to tell them that she’s finally paid off her student loan, but she needs to keep working at the site because now she has no money. She’s going to try making it as a cartoonist, and her parents are unimpressed.
Kate notices that Ryan is acting strangely, being absent a lot and not doing his work, and it can’t fully be explained by his recent divorce. She hears about other workers who are taking cocaine and behaving strangely too. She asks Ryan if he’s ok and he brushes it off. Kate contemplates the safety pyramid again. She finds a piece of paper on Ryan’s desk with an appointment for the employee assistance program. Emily later tells her that Ryan has left suddenly, and that they need to figure things out until a replacement is found.
Kate wonders why there are so many safety meetings but none have ever talked about drugs or alcohol. Her coworkers say that everyone knows why there is so much of both, and that the company can’t have safety meetings about illegal activities anyway.
Kate finally gets to leave the oil sands and go home. Her colleague Norman gives her prints of some of his photos of the northern lights as a leaving present, including one of a rainbow. Before she leaves, the company organises a staff photograph with all the workers on the site. Kate sees the man who assaulted her the second time, and he recognises her but can’t remember her name or who she is, and asks her how it’s going.
Kate trains her replacement, and finds out that she’s earning more than her despite not having any experience in tools. She complains to John about it, and finally rants about all her shitty treatment in the oil sands. She goes to see Gary in the head office, and demands her full bonus, which was going to be docked because she was leaving. Gary tells her it’s company policy. She tells him about the harassment, and he claims she could have come to them about it, but she fires back that he knows she couldn’t have. Gary agrees to give her the bonus. Her colleagues organise a going-away barbecue, and even Mike attends.
Back in Nova Scotia, Kate is reunited with her family. While out enjoying the seaside air, she chats to a farmer who tells her he’s keeping a field for his son who is working out west in case he ever comes back and wants to build a house. A man called Lauchie visits the house before moving west himself, and tells them there’s something for everyone out there and that the young people have everything they want. Out in Halifax with friends, she and Becky see a man from one of the camps, who tells Becky that they had a bet on who would sleep with her first. Their friends who haven’t worked in the oil sands can’t believe they’d let a man talk to them like that.
In the book’s afterword, Kate talks about how the book chronicles her specific experience at a specific time. She is wary of sensationalism of her story, especially because sexual assault is so common that it’s not actually sensational. She notes that neither of the men who raped her probably consider it to have been rape. She is also critical of the treatment of Indigenous people, and says the YouTube video of Celina Harpe was a “sword that cut through my ignorance”. We also find out that Becky died of cancer, and that her former coworkers pooled money together to send to her.
Bookclub Bingo 2023 categories: Non-Fiction, Graphic Novel (grey), Mod Pick (grey)
Other links:

• The first discussion
• Canada Reads page about Ducks [I hadn’t realised that Station Eleven, another recent bookclub read, was the runner up]
• Kate Beaton on Wikipedia
• Hark! A Vagrant, the archive of Kate Beaton’s comics website
• The original Hark! A Vagrant sketch comic about the oil sands (links to all five parts; I’ve posted the parts individually below this in case that’s easier)
• Original Ducks Part 1
• Original Ducks Part 2
• Original Ducks Part 3
• Original Ducks Part 4
• Original Ducks Part 5
• Lindsay Bird was one of the people in the book whose name wasn’t changed, and in 2019 she published a poetry collection about working in the oil sands called Boom Time. There’s a CBC article about the book here.

The questions are in the comments below. Thank you for joining me and u/fixtheblue in reading this book!

First/Prev
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The San later swore the same oath, and a few days later they were stepping onto the Semiramis, exclaiming over the smooth lines and gleaming metal. Cruisers were not normally built for families to have their children on board, so some changes had to be made. What the San had given in trade was more than enough in value, however, and there was room enough to do so without affecting performance. The craft was a sleek, swift fighting vessel, bearing eight boarding craft and more than a hundred and fifty guns—not really enough to take on a dreadnought, but easily the better of any cruiser in the field.
There were cabins, some larger for the many couples that had children, infirmaries, chapels that were completely bare since each species had its own faith and their own trappings to bring, kitchens and canteens, gyms and exercise equipment, even libraries, one of which the engineers had taken time to make into a school. In short, it could be considered a tiny city, or at least a small town, with everything they needed to live for months at at time.
Despite his impatience to cast off and the way his daughter nearly quivered at the sight of the pilot's controls, Mogan insisted on time for everyone to get used to the ship.
Not that the crew was only human, not anymore. Some of the poachers who they had saved, and who had fought beside them in turn, on Noepe insisted on coming with, adding another fifty or sixty Sylfa and Shawing to the crew. Chadnov's wife Karshta, her head nearly brushing the ceiling at five meters, carried two very large infants aboard. And almost two hundred of the Vishtali came, varying between challenging belligerence and those clearly fighting down the desire to flee.
The Vishtali had not been slaves. Not legally, at least; according to the Sovereignty, they were no more sapient than humanity. While they were owned and worked and abused and in more than one raid literally chained to the beds for customers, charges for slavery could not be filed. Legally, they were livestock, not slaves. The boss of the planet Irhost had hired the San to take care of it in an extra-legal, and very definitive, fashion, but they could not undo the damage that had been done.
On their own planet, Vishtali technology remained in the age of steel and steam, with further advances punished. Many of them took to training as technicians easily, finding the electronics easier to work with than the over-complicated steam machines of home. Of the five hundred or so that had been rescued, relatively few continued to accompany them, but those few had more than just their skills. They had what has always been the most valuable commodity to a pirate—information.
On the third day, with the crew feeling more relaxed, the mercenaries arrived, ready to take their stations. The fourth day found Mogan in the captain's chair, looking at a viewscreen that showed the starry void before them.
He was on a dias, where he could see everything on the bridge. Sylfa design preferred a captain's walk, with stations on either side, but this pattern let him see almost every station from where he sat. Burya and Logog, the ship and marine officers, sat in similar chairs at the bottom of the dias, while others of the crew sat at their stations. Most of them had displays for the operators to see, with somewhat larger displays above them so he could see pertinent information immediately.
His daughter sat at the pilot's station, waiting for the order.
Ellisan was sixteen now, old enough to hold an official rank, and even had charge of the ship's pilots—some for the helm, and others for the boarding craft. For the first casting-off of the new ship, there was no possibility that she would let anyone else hold the helm. She nearly bounced in her seat, four hands adjusting controls on the board.
She was a Meht, of two different species, and the first of her kind. Not that she was the first Meht—there had been billions, but they were still a relative rarity in a galaxy with trillions of sapient beings in it. Not any two species produced one; most such pairings ended with no result at all. The San didn't know how many such species they were compatible with, but Ellisan proved that the Sylfa were one of them, and Chadnov's surprise pregnancy and spear-point wedding were proof that the Mantu were another.
Meht were often considered to have the advantages of both parents' species, although that wasn't always the case. Ellisan had her mother's arms—all four of them—and her frame and height, but while her hair was the silver color standard to all Sylfa her skin was a much lighter shade of blue-green. She could pass for a Sylfa if needed, especially with makeup, but she generally stood out. But as much as she looked like a Sylfa, she was able to run with humans, something no Sylfa could manage.
Her shoulders were not built the way human shoulders were; to her great discomfort, she could clumsily hurl an object a few yards, like any other species, rather than the direct, drilling throws of human spearmen and slingers. She could clumsily hurl something with a surprising degree of accuracy if not force, another talent from her human ancestry, but this had meant nothing until she first fired a laser pistol.
Meht were also sterile—at least, except for a very rare few, and Ellisan was not one of those. She had been bitter over that, once, but now it didn't make the difference it once had. Perhaps other things were taking importance, or perhaps the situation had changed, or perhaps it was simply part of her growth. Whatever the reason, Mogan was pleased to see it no longer ate at her. He had tried to paint it as a blessing; before they came to the stars, after all, the day of her first birth was the most dangerous of a woman's life, and she was also spared the cramps and mess that some women went through. He had tried, but he really had not succeeded.
Then again, today was a day to make anybody forget their troubles. The lower officers, newly granted official ranks, stood in a line watching.
The viewscreens along each wall,front and sides, showed the view outside in sharp visuals. In the open area at the front, holograms showed the ship itself, one with the docks around it and one showing only the ship.
“Burya?”
Burya, once the chief of the Hanging Rock village, nodded. He was fitting well into his new position; Mogan had worried that the authority would still stress the eighteen-year-old, but so long as Mogan was making the bigger decisions he handled it well. Burya had often seemed the oldest of the group, but now he stood straight-backed and smiling as he checked his wristpad a final time.
“All airlocks closed and checked, all clasps ready.”
Mogan nodded. “release.”
Burya repeated the order. They had expected to feel a change in motion, but the ship's own inertial dampeners easily negotiated the slight change from the station's orbit around its star to the Semiramis' free orbit.
“Helm,” Mogan said, and got a delighted grin from Ellisan. “Take us away.”
Again, none of them could feel the movement. The only real indication they were in motion was on the holos, where one lit up to indicate the engines and the other showed a growing distance between ship and station.
Mogan waited as the ship slowly accelerated, until thousands of kilometers lay between them and Haitac Station.
“Alright, let's put her through her paces. Helm, prepare a full burn.” Mogan manipulated the computation array in front of him, producing a holo of the system, with the ship far smaller. He tapped a point on the holo. “Turn here, to this point, then this, and this.” More points, telling the array to register where his finger was at, describing a series of sharp turns before heading out of the system. “Now.”
They could feel it this time. Those standing stumbled and almost fell as the ship leaped forward. “Full Burn” was apparently a term that harkened back to ancient days when chemical rockets were used, but the gravitic drives were far more powerful. They reached the point sooner than Mogan realized, and Ellisan expertly swung the craft around, engines humming smoothly, to the new course.
Mogan relaxed a little, as they went through another hairpin turn with easy efficiency, and then the third. He had seen enough to know that the turns were not so easy, but that Ellisan's expertise made it seem so—but nonetheless, the ship handled beautifully as they raced forward.
The route took them out of the system, far enough from the sun to escape its gravity, and Mogan tapped what looks like an asteroid on the holo. “There's our target. Caricole left.”
Burya repeated the order into his wristpad, alerting the crew, and the laser turrets and etheric cannon swiveled as far forward as they could go. Those on the top of the craft and forward were readied.
Little was still known about the Etheric Currents. They reacted, as far as science could confirm, to only three things things—gravity, hard light, and plasma. To the Ether, hard light seemed solid. Shielded ships were pushed by those currents, and sapient species had rapidly devised how to make what were effectively sails of hard light that could catch these currents and propel the ship.
Nobody knew how fast the Currents were, if they were truly many times faster than light or if they added speed in some other way, but even slow, bulky freighters could move five or ten thousand times the speed of light. The smallest racing craft—the size of a shuttle but mostly power-plants and shield-generators—could move literally thousands of times faster than that. Shett had told him that the Semiramis would match or beat most destroyers; in a pinch, it could likely cross the entire galaxy in about six months.
Plasma, on the other hand, reacted explosively with the Etheric currents, causing massive force and expansion. This was sometimes weaponized in the use of mines or planted bombs, but the most effective weapon built managed to combine the two; the Etheric Cannon.
The weapon had a firing chamber and a barrel, but both were lined with shaped fields of hard light. The chamber funneled to push as much ether as possible within, and on firing it was closed off and filled with plasma. That force pushed not a projectile but another, moveable hard light shield, that served as a wadding of sorts to shove a small ball.
The cannonballs fired by a heavy cannon rarely weighed more than five kilograms, but they flew at an immeasurable speed, far faster than those swiftest racing ships. On impact, much of that force—the vast majority of it, in truth—was transferred back to the Etheric Currents. This was generally considered a good thing; otherwise even the tiniest projectile moving significantly faster than the speed of light could literally destroy a planet. The force that remained, however, was enough to cause considerable damage to whatever unfortunate object it hit. More importantly, the projectiles were fast enough to make combat feasible even at faster-than-light speeds. Lasers were somewhat useless, after all, when a craft was already moving at several thousand times the speed of light.
The Currents' aversion to gravity was often considered a blessing. Ships did sometimes crash into things, including planets, and a two-billion-ton dreadnought, or even a one-million-ton destroyer, smashing into a planet was cause for absolute devastation. But at least they couldn't hit a planet, or the traffic near a planet, at faster-than-light speeds. That it also slowed travel was considered a worthwhile payoff. That it made etheric cannon useless inside the gravity of a solar system wasn't as well-liked; thus nearly every ship, and certainly every warship, carried both cannon and lasers.
The last time they were in a battle, they could feel the transport they were in shudder, just a touch, as the forward cannons fired. This time there were just the smallest thumps, small enough that Mogan couldn't be sure whether they were heard or felt, and puffs of dust rose from the massive stone.
It wasn't dust, at least most of it, but they were still thousands of kilometers away, far enough for even fairly large boulders to look like specks of dust. An instant later the ship swung left more than 90 degrees, exposing the right side for another volley. On the holo, they could see some of the streaks indicating shots pass right through the asteroid, with so much of it blown away.
The Semiramis flew past, the remnants of the asteroid on their right. Leaders shouted, cheering at the display, but Mogan simply watched, smiling.
“Well.... This will make things interesting. Urgant?”
The Vishtali woman raised two of her four hands—it was hard to raise just one--to acknowledge him and nodded.
“You know the location, yes? Talk with navigation and plot it for us.”
The woman nodded and bent to speak with the woman at that station. A few minutes later, the holo with the map expanded, with the star they were aiming for outlined in a small nimbus of light.
The Semiramis adjusted slightly, changing position, and then there was the slightest hum, almost too low to hear, as the shields came on.
On the other holo they could see the ship suddenly surrounded with a layer of hard light, and then other shields came up, sticking out to the side a little like fins, or the sails he had seen on boats among the Sea People. The ship rocked as the Etheric Currents began pushing, and Ellisan adjusted the shape of them.
The ship picked up speed, although the inertial dampeners made it difficult to notice. They passed the speed of light well behind them as the shield-sails expanded, and then others appeared, to the side. Ellisan adjusted their flight so they were slightly off-course, but the reason why became evident as the ship's speed increased yet further, moving several thousand times the speed of light.
The maiden voyage--and the first raid--of the Semiramis had begun.

(You can also find this story, along with the previous parts here and here.)
Five Years Later
Irving and Enterprise were busy. Irving smiled at Enterprise.
“Today’s the big day.”
Enterprise nodded as she looked up the stairs.
“Olin! Are you ready?”
Olin ran down the stairs, wearing a pair of blue jeans and an olive green t-shirt. He smiled at her.
“Yes, mama.”
Irving and Enterprise smiled. “Then let’s go.”
The family entered the car and drove to their destination. Enterprise looked at her son.
“Are you excited for your first day of school?”
Olin smiled and nodded. Irving looked at his son with a smile while they were at a red light.
“Are you going to behave yourself?”
Olin once again smiled and nodded.
They soon reached their destination. Azur Lane Elementary School.
Olin, Irving, and Enterprise all got out of the car. They walked to the entrance.
Irving saw Oklahoma and Malcolm were there, as well as Littorio, Vittorio Veneto, Fabio, and Marsala.
Littorio was holding her son's hand. She smiled at her daughter.
“Maria, are you going to say goodbye to your baby brother?”
Maria smiled as her brother giggled.
“Goodbye Vincenzo. I love you.”
Vincenzo giggled as his older sister turned to leave.
Irving and Enterprise kept walking, but they noticed Olin was not with them.
Irving and Enterprise walked back to where Olin was. Enterprise squatted down to look at her son.
“Olin, what's wrong?”
Olin’s eyes were wide as saucers as a tear went down his face. “I’m scared.”
Irving smiled and placed his hand on Olin’s shoulder.
“I know you’re scared. You want to know some advice?”
Olin nodded as he wiped away the tears with his arm.
“It’s alright to be scared. It’s how we stay alive. However, it’s what you do when you’re scared that defines you.”
Olin nodded. But he was still not budging.
Enterprise smiled as she stroked her son’s brown hair.
“Olin. I’ll tell you something that I learned. Beginnings are often scary, and endings are often sad, so enjoy the middle.”
Irving smiled. “Olin. If it makes you feel any better, your friend Louis is here as well.”
Hearing Louis's name made Olin’s eyes light up.
“He is?”
Irving smiled slightly.
“Yeah. You guys can hang out together here, learn, and even make new friends.”
Olin smiled and hugged his mother and father.
“I love you, Mommy and Daddy.”
Irving and Enterprise felt tears go down their faces. They held Olin in their arms.
“I love you too, my little tack.”
Olin giggled. He made his way to where Louis was. He noticed a dishwasher-blonde boy with hazel eyes.
“Hi. My name is Olin. What’s yours?”
The blonde boy smiled.
“My name is Lucio.”
Louis smiled.
“Hey, your name sounds like mine. I’m Louis.”
Lucio smiled. The three boys made their way inside the school.
Irving, Enterprise, Malcolm, and Oklahoma watch their children walk into the school. Malcolm smiled as he walked up to Irving.
“I told you they would be fine.”
Irving nodded as he wiped away a tear. Malcolm wrapped an arm around Irving’s shoulder. Irving smiled.
“Hey, I was thinking. You want to hang out at my place? I figured since the kids will be gone a few hours, I figured we can hang out together.”
Malcolm nodded. “Sure. Sounds like an amazing idea. You want to come also, honey?”
Oklahoma nodded. “Sure. I could use the company. I'll also call New Jersey and Samuel to see if they want to come as well.”
Irving and Enterprise nodded as they went back to their car and drove away from the school.
Enterprise noticed Irving was not taking them to the house.
“Irving, where are we going?”
Irving sighed.
“To visit an old friend. I know you were wondering why there were flowers in the trunk.”
Enterprise nodded.
Soon, the couple reached a cemetery. Irving grabbed the flowers as they walked through the graves.
Irving stopped at a dark granite gravestone. He read it with a somber look on his face.
“Robert Sharp. 1918-1944”
Irving placed his hand on the gravestone.
“Hey, Robert. It’s me, Irving. I’m here to say hello again like I do every year.”
Irving turned his head as Enterprise stared at him. She smiled slightly as Irving looked at the gravestone.
“I’ve been great. I have a wife and a beautiful son. Even gave him your surname as his middle name in honor of you.”
Irving reached for the red roses and a pack of Lucky Strikes and placed them on the tombstone.
“These are for you, Robert.”
Irving felt a tear go down his face. He wiped it away.
“Well, I suppose this is goodbye. I miss you.”
Irving saluted the tombstone and walked back to Enterprise.
They got back into the car. Enterprise and Irving were silent.
Enterprise looked at her husband with a blank expression on her face. “I never knew you visited his grave every year.”
Irving smiled slightly.
“Robert was born in September, and I told him I would always try to visit him the month he was born. It’s a promise I made him on D-Day.”
Enterprise nodded and smiled slightly. “I’m glad you still care about him and think about him. All these years later.”
Irving smiled as he looked at Enterprise.
“Hey, how about we go to the park? It should not be too busy.”
Enterprise nodded, and the couple drove to the park.
The park was quiet. The couple found a bench, and they sat on it and relaxed.
The green leaves on the trees were changing color. Irving smiled.
“The trees look so beautiful.”
After a while, the couple got off the bench and walked to a fountain. Enterprise had a gold coin ready.
“Want to make a wish?”
Irving nodded. Enterprise flipped the coin into the water.
After a moment of quiet calm, Enterprise smiled at her husband. She held his hand.
“So what was your wish?”
Irving giggled. “I thought it was bad luck to tell another person what you wished for, as doesn’t it mean it will not come true?”
“C’mon, you can tell me.”
“Alright. I wished that I could spend more time with you and the children. The Commander has been having me run around like a maniac to do things around the base. I mean, it’s honestly better than the odd jobs I had back in the day. However, they vary so much in terms of importance and energy. One moment I’m making sure that all the meowfficers are in the cattery, the next I’m helping the Commander make his coffee.”
Enterprise giggled. “So you act like another one of the Commander’s secretaries?”
Irving blushed as he scratched his head. “I guess I am, in a way. I don’t mind it, however.”
Enterprise nodded. “I know I’ve been busy, doing missions for the Commander as well. Once I finished breastfeeding Olin, Vestal cleared me for combat duty. Vestal knows we are planning on not having any more children after Olin and Little Enterprise. My missions have mostly been training Little Enterprise. And helping Bismarck, Tirpitz, and Littorio train Maria, Marlene, and Helga. Those three can use riggings like their mother, but they still need a ton of practice.”
Irving laughed. “I heard Olin and the other boys tried to use their riggings.”
Enterprise giggled. “Yeah. The only issue is that they cannot use them for long. Poor Olin. I swear, after he used his rigging longer than ten minutes, he was gasping for air like he had run a marathon. I believe they would be more useful as coastal defense and recon.”
Irving nodded. “I’m sure the Commander will find a use for Olin and the other boys in the future.”
Irving looked at the trees. The birds chirped as h closed his eyes.
“I suppose we should head home. We don’t want to keep Malcolm and Oklahoma waiting.”
Enterprise nodded, and they made their way back to the car.
Soon, the couple reached home. Samuel and New Jersey were already there. Irving smiled.
“Hey you two!”
New Jersey smiled as she rubbed her belly. She was eight months pregnant with her and Samuel’s daughter, Nicole. She smiled as she waddled to the porch.
“We’ll be inside if you need us for anything.”
Soon, Malcolm and Oklahoma joined the group. The men played poker on the porch while the shipgirls sat in the living room together.
Malcolm sighed. “Hard to believe it has been five years already.”
Samuel nodded. “Yeah. Time goes by you fast, doesn’t it?”
Irving giggled. “Hard to believe you and New Jersey are going to have a daughter soon.”
Samuel smiled. “Yeah. What about you Irving? You thinking of having more kids?”
Irving smiled. “We already have our hands full with both Olin and Little Enterprise. I don’t want to push my luck.”
Malcolm nodded. “Same here. I’m perfectly fine with just Louis.
The men went quiet. Irving pulled out a small cooler full of cherry sodas. He passed them out.
“So, how have the others been?”
Samuel giggled. “Larry’s been well. I heard he and his marines are now Nagato’s bodyguards.”
Malcolm smiled. “I heard that Arizona and Warren are thinking about getting married soon.”
Irving smiled. “How about Littorio and Fabio?”
“They’ve been busy ever since Vincenzo was born two years ago. I heard Fabio gave him the middle name Alonzo, after a man who saved his life back in Africa. Maria has been well, from what Fabio has told me. She has been an amazing older sister to Vincenzo.”
Malcolm smiled. “How about the Sakura Empire?”
“They’ve been good as well. I heard Zuikaku found someone named Arata Kondo, and she has a daughter named Hana, and Atago and Haruto got married.”
“Anything on the Northern Parliament?”
“From what I know, Mihail Larinov married Kirov. They have a daughter named Anya, and a son named Aleksei. I also know Nikolay Simornov and Gangut are also married, and they have two daughters named Nadia and Vera. They also have a son named Dmitri.”
Irving smiled. “How have you guys been?”
“New Jersey and I have been good. She's excited about having a daughter, as thought we would never have a daughter. We dropped off Merle before you guys as we didn't know when the school opened.”
Irving smiled and nodded. “So you are having an October baby like I am?”
Samuel nodded. “Yep. It looks like October is a popular month for children to be born.”
“What about you Mal? How are you, Lou and Okie?”
Malcolm smiled. “Good. We dropped off Louis at school with you guys, and now we are just hanging out.”
After a while, the small party died down. Samuel and Malcolm left with New Jersey and Oklahoma.
Irving and Enterprise were once again alone. Irving noticed a sweet smell coming from the kitchen.
Irving entered the kitchen to see his wife taking some chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. He smiled.
“Those smell great, honey.”
Enterprise smiled. “Thanks.”
She embraced Irving and kissed him on the lips.
Irving giggled. “Mind me asking, but where’s Little Enterprise? I didn’t see her get dropped off at school.”
Enterprise smiled. “Oh, she’s with Yorktown II and Hornet II. She’s training to become a KANSEN like me.”
Irving smiled. “It’s a good thing both of our children are getting an education.”
He smiled.
“You want to dance?”
Enterprise nodded, and Irving grabbed an old 78 record. He placed it on the turntable.
The notes of “It’s Been a Long Long Time.” filled the room. Enterprise and Irving were in an embrace as they slowly danced in each other’s arms.
Enterprise leaned into his ear. “I love this song.”
Irving smiled. “Why else would I propose to you with it, and it was the first song we danced to at our wedding?”
Enterprise smiled back as they continued to slow dance to the music.
After a while, Enterprise and Irving were sitting on the couch. Irving placed his arm on Enterprise’s shoulder.
“Hey, you want to hang out on the porch together? We haven’t done that in forever.”
Enterprise nodded as they both got off the couch. They walked to the back porch in the backyard. They sat on the hanging seat together.
Enterprise blushed. “Irving, I have something to tell you.”
Irving smirked and giggled. “You’re pregnant again?”
Enterprise blushed and giggled. “No.”
Irving smiled. “Then what is it?”
Enterprise sighed. “I know.”
Irving’s eyes went wide as she pulled out the photo of her and Irving on the beach together. Irving laid back, as Enterprise placed her head on his chest.
“Vestal asked me if I wanted to read what was on the back of this photo. I told her yes. I knew about the wishes before we even got married.”
Enterprise smiled as she rubbed her husband's face.
“You know. I say we did a good job.”
Irving smiled as he nodded softly. He stroked Enterprise’s hair as she fell asleep on his chest.
He stopped to enjoy this moment between them. A moment that, sometimes, he thought would never come.
He smiled. He had done everything he wished for.
And he was complete.
(And with that, that's the end of The Exploits of Irving Reese.)
(I have already made a list of people I wanted to thank for giving me both the courage and inspiration, either directly or indirectly, to write this story. You can find that list on the AO3 version if you want to read it.)
​
(Thank you for reading The Exploits of Irving Reese. I want to thank every reader who came from AO3, Reddit, or even my old Fanfiction.net account. You guys gave me the courage to keep writing fanfiction, and I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart.)
(Here on reddit, I want to give a special thank you to u/TitanSlayrOG, u/ArchiveSlave, and u/Nuke87654, for giving me the inspiration to write in the first place. None of this would have been possible without you fellas, and I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart.)
(I hope you fellas have a wonderful day.)
Yours ~LeutnantzurSeeFritzSalami Python

Im a 23 year old Latino, average looking and straight passing man living in San Diego who lives a double life. Ive know I was bi since I was 18 but I have kept it a secret from my friends and family. Every date and hookup for the past few years Ive had an excuse (im going to the beach, im going to the gym, im just hanging out with schoolmates, etc).
Im going to graduate soon with a business degree and plan to move out of my parents house. I will probably stay in the same city but I want an apartment of my own to live with my transgender girlfriend (16 months strong).
I’m starting to get sick of having to constantly hide my political views with my conservative friends and make fun of gays with them at church while going home to call my girlfriend. I feel so two faced and I know I need to come out and take a stand especially now that LGBTQ people are under attack all over the country.
Would it be fine to wait until I move out to come out and cut off my conservative friends (I’ll have to start all over again from scratch) or should I do it now? My parents will be surprised but most likely accepting but not sure about people outside my family.
Thanks and happy pride month!

Previously unannounced press conference, May 31, 2023.

Cameras are rolling as the owner of Mann Corporation, Shay D. Mann, hair in a perfectly put-together part, adorned in a navy suit and white tie, steps forward to a podium, in front of a WiR backdrop, microphone in hand.
Mann: My name is Shay Duncan Mann. And I am the new owner and proprietor of Wrestling is Reddit. I can assure you that your beloved Allen Paisner will be returning in the future, however, he could not make tonight's show due to some…
Mann smirks.
Mann: Legal complications. But fear not, I’ll be taking his place in the booth tonight.
The crowd erupts with applause and cheers, eager to witness the rebirth of their beloved wrestling promotion, even without Paisner for the evening.
Mann: Tonight, we embark on an exhilarating journey, as WiR takes a bold leap forward. I stand before you not just as the owner, but as a “fan”—a fan who understands the passion and dedication that this community shares for the world of wrestling.
Mann tries to hide a grimace as he proclaims his “fandom”. The crowd anticipates Mann’s next move
Mann: For too long, WiR has been dormant, unable to proceed, some of the talent trapped in Europe with no way home. But this, is no more! Today, we resurrect the spirit of WiR, bringing it back to life with a bang! And what better way to open things up by “Sounding Off"! Presented by the one and only, Dexter Flux
The crowd gives an actual cheer with genuine enthusiasm at the mention of Flux, their sort of god-king.
Mann: "Sound Off" isn't just a name; it's a rallying cry! It's a call for all of you, the WiR faithful, to voice your opinions, to express your passion, and to join us in this incredible journey. This event will be a celebration of everything that makes WiR special—the wrestling, the community, and the shared experiences that bring us all together.
The press conference crowd, whose papering becomes increasingly obvious the more Mann talks, is enthusiastic, as they eagerly hang onto Shay D. Mann's every word, perhaps a little too eagerly.
Mann: Tonight, in this very ring, our talented roster will ignite your imagination, deliver jaw-dropping performances, and create moments that will be etched in your memories forever. Sound Off! will leave you on the edge of your seats, craving for more.
The crowd roars with the excitement of a hair dryer pop.
Mann: But this is not just a show; it's a community. Together, we'll embrace the highs and lows, the victories and defeats. We'll share our opinions, engage in spirited debates, and build something truly remarkable. WiR is your platform—your voice will be heard!
The crowd erupts once again, their cheers echoing through the arena, showcasing their dedication to WiR, or getting paid to be there
Mann: So, my friends, get ready to immerse yourselves in the magic of WiR once again. Open your hearts, open your minds, and let the exhilaration of "Sound Off" wash over you! Tonight, we begin a new era—one that will redefine the landscape of this sport. Welcome back to WiR, my friends. Because Wrestling… is Revived.
With a sly smile, Shay D. Mann raises his microphone high, signaling the start of the show, as things fade to a video of Dexter Flux. His face is slightly out of frame as the camera points to his chest and chin.
Crowd: YEEEEAAAHHHHHH WE LOVE FLUX! WE LOVE FLUX!
Flux: Hey, it’s me, Dexter Flux. Welcome, uh, welcome you know, back to wrestl- Ugh, sorry, something was like, in my throat. Wrestling is Reddit. Welcome back to Wrestling is Reddit. This is House Party.

Knott's Berry Farm, June 1st, 2023.

With that rousing introduction, we now cut back to the day of, with a drone shot of the ring set up at Knott’s Berry Farm, fans on makeshift stands in the berry field, a parking lot and farmhouse off in the far distance, before [off brand royalty free music] begins to play!
Crowd: YEEEAAHHHH
Through the makeshift curtain, Tony “The Milkman” Stevens appears, wearing a pair of off-blue tights with cow white print, a single blue elbow pad on the left side, with a pair of gloved hands- in which, he holds a pristine white umbrella. The Milkman points his umbrella right down the lens of the camera…
Milkman: Good to be back, fellas, and good to see you, Mr. Cameraman! Been a while.
Mann: And here comes the Milkman, and a huge ovation from this crowd! But no Horde jacket with him!
Woodbridge: Or any jacket. But we’re in Anaheim, its hot out
Mann You’re right. But he did prepare for rain.
The Milkman hands off his umbrella to a fan at ringside, before sliding under the bottom rope, and ascending the left hard camera turnbuckle, firing up the crowd, before doing a backflip off the top rope, and into the ring!
Crowd: YEEAAAAHHHHHH
The Camera cuts back to the entranceway, as the music changes, to Skillet
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO
Jericho Styles appears on the ramp, adorned in an Allen Iverson Nuggets Jersey. He blows off a fan’s high five attempt, before sliding into the ring and taking a position opposite of Stevens.
Babaganoush: WiR fans… welcome to Anaheim California, the beautiful Knotts Berry Farm! Welcome! To Sound Off! Presented by Dexter Flux.
Crowd: W-I-R! W-I-R! W-I-R! W-I-R!
Banaganoush: Our opening contest is scheduled for one fall to a finish. Introducing first, to my right… wrestling out San Jose California, weighing in at 217 pounds, Jericho… Styles!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Babaganoush: And his opponent, to my left. Weighing in at 208 pounds…
Crowd begins to rise
Babaganoush: Wrestling out of… Brooklyn, New York! Tony… “The Milkmaaannnnnnn” Stevens!
Crowd erupts into indiscriminate cheers
DING DING DING
The Milkman and Styles circle each other as the bell rings, before Styles takes the initiative with a lock up attempt, which he quickly transitions to a rear waist lock. Milkman thinks on his feet, and grabs the arm of Styles lifting it above his head, and turning to break the lock, before using it to get behind Jericho, who uses his size advantage to overpower Stevens and apply a hammerlock, using the position to turn Stevens around, and take him down to the mat with an arm drag, maintaining control of the arm, which he quickly leverages into a pinfall…
ONE
Milkman gets his free shoulder up!
Crowd: Yay!
Woodbridge: JZ leveraging some technical skill here in the opening moments of this one, but can’t keep the Milkman down!
Mann: Only one count for Styles
Styles refuses to relinquish his grip on the arm, and as Stevens gets up, pushes him back into the corner before he can balance himself. Styles whips Stevens across the ring to the other corner, before charging in and being met with Milkman’s knee! Stevens capitalizes on his newly made opening by delivering a sharp kick to the chest of Styles, before whipping him against the ropes. Styles charges back, and tries to use his momentum to catch Stevens with a hip toss, but can only get Stevens a few inches of height off the ground before the Milkman lands on his feet, lifts and Styles up for an atomic drop, which forces him to let go of Stevens. With his arm now free, The Milkman plants himself, and delivers a [devastating lariat]. With what self-preservation he has left, Styles rolls to the outside, and onto the grass.
Woodbridge: And The Milkman just leveled Styles with that lariat!
Mann: Not something we’re quite used to seeing from Stevens, some hard strikes early in this one that really seemed to throw Styles off his game.
Styles pulls himself up by the barricade, to the direct ire of front-row fans who continue to heckle him. Back in the ring, Stevens throws himself off the far-end ropes, charges in for a dive… before Styles ducks down to avoid being hit. Stevens doesn’t change speed, and instead, throws himself between the ropes for a 6-1-9 that hits nothing but air, launching himself back into the ring, and landing on his feet. After this feat of dexterity, and with Styles on the ground outside, The Milkman takes a bow for his efforts.
Crowd: YEEEAAHHH!!
Four dues in front of the hard cam: WE LOVE MILK! WE LOVE MILK!
At a count of eight, Styles, returns to the ring, and the two wrestlers square off again. Styles gets the better of the two on the lockup, delivering a stomp to Stevens’ foot, before kneeling him in the stomach. Styles lifts Stevens up for a suplex, but Stevens shifts his weight and lands on his feet behind him! The Milkman attempts a German suplex, but Styles throws a firm elbow to the jaw and repositions behind Stevens for a German attempt of his own. Stevens gives Styles a receipt with a firm, calcium-hardened elbow of his own, before bounding over to the ropes, and attempting a lionsault to a standing Styles! Styles catches him, but Stevens slips free, pushes Styles into the corner, and he takes a chest-first bump. Stevens harnesses his agility once more to get into poison-rana position on the shoulders of Styles, but Styles uses one arm to flip Milkman off balance and send him tumbling to the ground. Quickly, Stevens attempts to transition to a sunset flip but has to abandon ship as Styles tries to poke him in the eyes, jamming his finger into the canvas as a result. Stevens uses the moment to leap up to Bret’s rope, turn around, and deliver a dropkick to Styles! Stevens then rolls to the apron, and pumps up the crowd with a wave of his hand…
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHH WOOO!!
Guy already 4 cheap beers in: I hate this Styles guy!
…and delivers another springboard dropkick, this one from the top rope! Stevens flexes for the crowd, before rolling into a cover…
ONE
TWO
Styles gets a shoulder up!
Mann: Does The Milkman seem a bit different to you, Woodbridge?
Woodbridge: Milkman definitely wants to show off early, he looks like he hasn’t lost a step!
Mann: Maybe even gained one, and it almost feels like he’s being a bit disrespectful of his opponent, don’t you think?
Woodbridge: And what are you insinuating?
Mann: Well, maybe performing in front of a WiR crowd again has him a little more amped than usual! Trying a lot of those high-risk maneuvers early- we’re only a few minutes into this one, folks!
After the Kickout, Stevens signals to the cheering crowd, runs off the ropes, and attempts a wheelbarrow bulldog, but as he pushes himself up, Styles swivels his hips, and Stevens face plants into the mat.
Mann: And Stevens’ showing off cost him there!
Styles knees Stevens in the stomach, before putting his head between the legs, and sets up for the Styles Clash! He can’t lock in Milkman’s arms, and Stevens uses them to push off the mat to sit up above Jericho! Stevens tries throwing a punch at Jericho’s head, but he pivots his plan, and adjusts to deliver a powerbomb! As he releases, Stevens adjusts his body and manages to mitigate some of the damage by landing awkwardly on the back foot, stumbling back into the ropes.
Mann: If Styles hit that, it could have spelled an early end for Stevens!
Stevens pulls himself back to his feet using the ropes and charges back in with a clothesline attempt, but Styles sees it coming, grabs the arm and uses it to shift the momentum, and lifts Stevens for a tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker!
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Mann: And Styles seems to be in control here.
Woodbridge: Stevens took some early momentum, but Styles has had a counter for everything Stevens has thrown at him.
Styles pulls Stevens up to his feet by the hair, before casually flipping one of Stevens’ arms over his shoulder for a uranage position before holding his arms out to the crowd!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Styles smirks at the boos incoming, and throws Stevens with a t-bone suplex. Once Stevens is planted, Styles stomps the stomach to force him to sit up, before stretching the arms behind for a surfboard stretch!
Styles: I’m a technical wrestler now, assholes!
Mann: Styles slowing things down here, grounding the Milkman
Woodbridge: Not a bad strategy, we saw how The Milkman was in control with a faster pace!
One guy holding up a sign with Goku: WE-LOVE-GOKU! WE-LOVE-GOKU!
Everyone else in the crowd is deafeningly silent
Styles: AND WHAT WOULD GOKU DO HERE, STUPID IDIOT?
Styles breaks his hold and approaches the hard camera ropes to yell at the fan more
Styles: Dragon Ball is overrated trash!
Styles kicks Stevens back to the mat
Styles That one was for you, fucking weeb!
As Stevens once again rises to his feet, Styles punches him and he falls back to the mat, just for Styles to pick him back up, and line up against the ropes, for an irish whip. As Stevens returns to sender, Styles throws him straight up in the air… and football punts him in the chest on the way down!
Styles: Hey weeb guy! This one’s for you too! I saw a Japanese dude do it once!
Styles lifts Stevens up, sets him up with the arms behind the back… and delivers a slow, sloppy [tiger driver], before placing a single foot on the chest, and flexing
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHH
Woodbridge: Well, he didn’t quite get all of it.
Styles takes time to put Stevens in a Camel Clutch.
Mann: And it seems Styles didn’t want to get left out of showing off!
Woodbridge: Well, he certainly nailed Milkman with that kick, but the Tiger Driver left a lot to be desired.
Mann: Styles seems to have control of this match when it’s slowed down, wearing Stevens with this technical wrestling prowess.
Woodbridge, reaching under the desk for a paper bag: Everyone wants to be a hero in front of the first crowd in two years
Styles releases Stevens from the hold by battering him in the back of the head with a forearm, picking him up by the scruff, and bouncing him off the ropes for an Irish whip and hitting him with the kitchen sink! But Stevens wastes no motion, and grabs the leg, turning Styles over for a rollup!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Kickout!
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Woodbridge: He almost got him with that rollup! From out of nowhere!
The Milkman tries to capitalize, but Styles returns the favor with a boot to the stomach.
Styles: I’ll show you to make a damn fool out of me!
Styles hoists Stevens up for a vertical suplex, before taking two steps and chucking him across the top rope! The Milkman bounces off the top rope, makes a deflating noise as the air is forced out of his lungs, and flops down to the floor outside!
Mann: Styles with some kind of inverted lawn-dart maneuver! Woodbridge, do you know what that’s called?
Woodbridge: Nope.
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Styles: Come on, milk boy, you have anything else for me?
Stevens crawls back into the ring, holding onto his ribs, before Styles once again kicks him in the stomach, and applies a chin lock in the ring.
Mann: Styles has found his target! If Stevens can’t breathe, he can’t fight!
Woodbridge: The young Styles showing some veteran instinct here, Mann, if Stevens has the wind knocked out of him, he can’t perform those high-flying moves he was nailing Styles with earlier!
Styles turns to the side, and locks Milkman in a body scissors, using his legs to apply pressure to the ribcage. Stevens tries to use his free legs to push both men closer to the ropes, but can only move them a few feet. Stevens smacks the mat with his free hand, and a guy in the crowd does it to the barricade. Stevens smacks the mat again, and a few more fans join in.
Crowd Smacking the barricade
Stevens pushes towards the ropes again, making more progress. Styles sees this, and releases the hold, grabbing Stevens by the hair with one hand, tights in the other, and pulling him up to his feet.
Styles: You want the ropes so bad, here, have them!
Styles runs over to the ropes with the Milkman, and hurls him between the middle and top rope, dumping him to the outside where he lands with a noticeable thud. Styles follows him to the outside, taking his time to savor the boos of the crowd, before delivering a knee to a rising Milkman, and lifting him for a vertical suplex on the grass! Styles rolls into the ring… and back out again to break the count. Despite the present beating, Stevens once again pulls himself to his feet.
Crowd: YEAAAH
And Styles knees him in the ribs.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO
Styles rolls Stevens back into the ring before taking a moment to confront the drunk fan who jeered him earlier. After his verbal exchange, Styles delivers a scoop slam to Stevens to keep him down, and the pressure on the body, before sliding into a cover.
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Mann: Forcing Stevens to exert more energy there on the kick out, after continuing his assault on the ribs. A very solid strategy by Styles in this one.
Styles picks The Milkman up once more and prepares another vertical suplex, but the Milkman slips free! Stevens lands behind Styles, hooks his arms, and goes for a crucifix pin!
ONE
TWO
THRE-
Styles barely escapes! The Milkman wastes no motion as Styles rises back to his feet, bouncing off the hard camera ropes, and forcing Styles to drop back to the mat to avoid a strike. Stevens bounces off the opposite end, and Styles barely avoids him once more, this time with a slide-step that sees him almost lose his balance. Styles tries to save his momentum by charging at Stevens as he bounces off the ropes a third time, but Stevens pulls down the top rope, sending Styles to the apron! Stevens kicks Styles in the knee, before going through the middle rope to meet Styles on the apron. Styles tries to sweep out the leg of the Milkman, knocking himself down to one knee on the attempt, but Stevens jumps over it, and catches Styles with a Calcium Kiss Superkick that sends Styles to the grass below!
Crowd: YEAAAHH
With his foe grounded, Stevens looks to the crowd, positions himself in the middle of the ring, and before Styles can discover where he is, Stevens takes flight, springboarding off the middle rope with an Asai Milksault! On the landing, Stevens’ left knee awkwardly hits the uneven yard, and he visibly grimaces before falling backward.
Mann: And both men are down after that! Stevens with a ferocious comeback attempt, but he may have hurt himself!
Woodbridge: Someone hasn’t been taking care of their lawn.
Stevens hears the air exit the crowd, and pulls himself up, giving them a reassuring thumbs up, before using the leg he landed on to kick Styles in the back of his knee, before throwing him back into the ring. Stevens puts one leg into the ring through the middle rope, before looking into the crowd- and deciding to ascend the turnbuckles instead! The Milkman leaps, and delivers a diving hurricanrana! As Styles tries to roll to the ropes, Stevens uses their good leg to stomp on his chest, before pulling him back to the middle of the ring, and hitting a Standing Milksault! Stevens maintains the cover!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Styles gets a shoulder up!
Woodbridge: And Stevens throwing everything into this assault on Styles, but it still wasn’t enough to put him down!
Crowd: Let’s Go Milk-man! Let’s Go Milk-man!
Stevens picks Styles up, and lifts him onto his shoulders…
Woodbridge: He’s going for the Milky Way!
…But the injured knee can’t hold up the weight, and both men crash to the mat.
Entrance Music begins to play as a small, skinny wrestler in a leather jacket waltzes towards the two downed competitors
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: And that’s Raven Van Loupe! Van Loupe is here at Sound Off!
Woodbridge: These two formed an alliance last time we saw them! But will it hold after the time off?
Van Loupe enters the ring, despite the protests of WiR official Tai Ni Wong, and glances at the pair as both try to pull themselves up, Stevens using the ropes, Styles on his own. Van Loupe looks back and forth… before kicking Stevens in the injured knee!
DING DING DING
Babaganoush: And here is your winner…
Van Loupe helps Styles to his feet, and the pair begin to lay the boots on Stevens.
Babaganoush: By disqualification as a result of interference, and striking a WiR official…
Styles takes the knee of the downed Milkman, and lifts it above his head, before thrashing it against the canvas.
Babaganoush: At a time of…
Van Loupe has Styles lift Stevens by the hair once more, before she runs to the ropes, jumps off the second rope, and Styles pushes The Milkman into the cutter.
Babaganoush: Ten minutes and twenty-three seconds…
Styles and Van Loupe stand over Stevens, and Styles prepares to deliver the finishing blow as he signals to the crowd that he is looking for the Styles Clash!
Banaganoush: Tony “The Milkmannnnnn” Stevens!!!!!!
Van Loupe: Are you done?
Van Loupe gives Styles a thumbs up, but as he goes to finish off Stevens, a mighty howl plays over the speakers as a short, scruffy man runs to the ring.
Woodbridge: That’s The Werewolf!
Mann Johnny, A Werewolf, is here! And he’s rushing to the ring!
Styles lets Stevens flop back down to the mat, holding his knee, and turns to face the incoming Werewolf as he slides under the ropes and into the ring. Styles steps before Vna Loupe to intercept, but the fresh Werewolf knocks him off his feet with The Pounce. The Werewolf comes face to face with Van Loupe in the center of the ring!
Crowd: AWOOOOOO
Mann: Pandemonium has broken out in the first match of Sound Off! And the fans are loving it!
Crowd: WE LOVE WERE-WOLF! clap clap clap clap clap WE LOVE WERE-WOLF!
Woodbridge: The Pack Wolf and the Werewolf facing off in the center of the ring!
Mann: And these two have unfinished business! The Lifeblood exists because they took issue with being left behind for signings like Werewolf!
Johnny feints left, before throwing a right jab! The Werewolf unleashes Pack Tactics on Van Loupe! As he stops throwing punches, and signals for another pounce, Styles kips up, and levels the werewolf with a lariat!
Crowd: BOOOOO
Van Loupe and Styles begin to wear down the Werewolf, delivering blow after blow to Johnny as the boos rain from the crowd. Van Loupe delivers a stomp to the knee of The Milkman to keep him down before they and Jericho set up to finish off styles…
When an Italian Flag appears on the video screen, and an absolute guido of an Italian-American, hair dripping with greaseslowly walks out from behind the curtain, wearing a Shohei Ohtani jersey!
…A Shohei Ohtani… New York Mets jersey.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: That’s The Apex! Arturo Stiglione! Stiglione is in the yard!
Stiglione slowly scopes out the scene on his way to the ring, seeing the downed Milkman on the left of the ring, the downed werewolf on the right, and the standing Lifeblood members in the middle. He slowly ascends the stairs and stands across from Van Loupe and Styles.
Wodbridge: And The Apex, not a fan of Johnny, a very terse relationship between these two.
Apex: Hell ova job ya done hea’
Van Loupe: If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stand aside, and maybe we won’t hurt you.
Apex: Dont’cha mind me, just monitoring the situation.
Styles pulls Van Loupe aside, and the two have an impromptu conference, before nodding along, and continuing their attack on Werewolf.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
With The Lifeblood’s backs turned Styles looks down at his fist. He looks down at the blue and orange he’s adorned in, and loosens up his arm. He points to the back of Styles, who senses the crowd rising, and turns around… to be met with a spinning backfist!!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHH
Mann: Styles has made his choice! And he chooses to stand against The Lifeblood!
Van Loupe hears his body hit the canvas, and turns around, to be met with the sight of a downed Styles! The Apex takes off his Mets jersey… to reveal an Angels jersey! The Werewolf is back on his feet, and he and the Apex come face to face! Van Loupe rises back up at the wrong time, as the two share a nod, and deliver a double clothesline! Seeing the situation turn against him, Styles slinks to the outside, and grabs a chair from under the ring, before sneaking back in behind the Werewolf and Apex, who have turned to the hard camera. Styles raises the chair to strike…
...And gets blasted by a Calcium Kiss from The Milkman!
Crowd: WOOOOOO
The three faces are all back on their feet in the middle of the ring, standing tall! As the three begin to celebrate…
“It’s a Psychobilly Freakout!
Mann: That’s the music of Mason Saunders! But where is he?
Saunders’ music plays, but the entranceway remains empty.
Woodbridge: He’s behind us, Mann! He just jumped the barricade!
Mann: But he’s outnumbered, Woodbridge, both his allies are down!
Undeterred by the numbers disadvantage, Saunders slides behind the faces, and as they recognize the trap, Saunders is already in the ring! The Werewolf approaches first and throws a jab that almost seems to bounce off the chin of Saunders. Saunders simply stares, and when the Werewolf tries a second one, Saunders swipes it aside with a tree trunk arm, before launching into action and dropping the Werewolf with a right hook, which catches the Werewolf cleanly on the jaw, who slumps backward onto the canvas. The Milkman tries to charge to his aid, but Saunders delivers a pump kick to put him back on the canvas. The Apex tries to make a move while Saunders’ back is turned facing Stevens, but he fails to do any damage and is swiftly thrown aside. Saunders drops the Milkman again, before turning around to face Apex… who turns around, and flees the ring as fast as possible!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: And Stiglione, getting out of dodge as soon as he can!
Woodbridge: And turning tail and running, Stiglione is out of here!
As Stiglione flees up the entranceway, the rest of the Lifeblood begins to pick themselves up. Saunders puts the Werewolf pack down on the canvas with a scoop powerslam, and boots him out of the ring. The Lifeblood stand united, and face the hard camera, Stiglione and Werewolf removed, and the Milkman down on the opposite end of the ring. JZ ascends to the second rope of the left turnbuckle, Van Loupe to the right, and the three all pose for the hard camera!
Mann: And the Lifeblood, although not victorious in the match, is victorious here in the aftermath!
Woodbridge: But wait, The Milkman is trying to get back up!
Mann: Stevens of course, left for the picking, as other members of The Horde are all the way on the other side of the Farm preparing for their match later!
Stevens struggles to pull himself up to his feet, knee buckling under him. Saunders perks up, and stops his pose. Stevens staggers to his feet, and before he can get very far, Saunders turns, and with blinding speed nails Stevens with a disgusting lariat that nearly takes his head off!
Woodbridge: And the Milk has gone spoiled.
The Lifeblood circle the downed Milkman like vultures, and Van Loupe drops to one knee, and picks up the Milkman’s head by the hair! JZ gets down as well, and the two strike a pose, with Milkman’s body as the centerpiece!
Mann: A statement made, by the Lifeblood
Woodbridge: To me, Mann, it looks like the statement was made by Saunders, Van Loupe, and JZ just picked up the scraps!
Van Loupe, holding up Milkman to the Camera victoriously: Take a look, WiR, this is the future! We are the Lifeblood of this company, and don’t forget that!
The camera pans out to JZ and Van Loupe celebrating over Milkman’s body, while Saunders stares from behind, before fading out to a commercial break.
Javier: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, with a 20 minute time limit. Your referee for this contest is Mia So Hung. Introducing first, from Montreal, Canada, weighing in at 119 pounds...... GIGI♥ V!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A significantly smaller but incredibly loud section of the crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Music begins to swell in the background, and the crowd continues their jeering (and occasional unbridled simping) until Gigi steps out, running her hands down her body to the lewd Ashnikko verse.
Mann: Gigi here, surrounded by her legion of fans, who are then surrounded by a legion of people who absolutely despise her. As it should be here in WiR.
Gigi saunters to the ring, taking vaguely suggestive selfies with her ravenous fans on the front row, and generally seeming uncaring about the forthcoming match.
Woodbridge: And given her successes recently, it’s gonna be easy to overlook a competitor like Li Xiao, which very easily could prove fatal.
Gigi steps into the ring, as Javier starts his announcing again.
Javier: And her opponent, from Hong Kong, weighing in at 105 pounds... LI XIAO!!!
A unfamiliar metal song blasts out from the speakers, and a rather familiar hyperactive martial artist bounces out from behind the curtain!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Xiao charges down the ramp with a head of steam, hyped and ready to fight.
Mann: Xiao has some of the most devastating offense in this company, and if she’s able to keep momentum, it could very well shatter Gigi’s plans of making a statement here!
Woodbridge: Yeah, sure, but Xiao’s a tag team specialist first and foremost. She comes in to deal damage and then gets out before she takes too much abuse.
Xiao hops into the ring, and the referee pats both competitors down, before gesturing for the bell.
DING DING DING
In an interesting turn of events, Gigi and Li Xiao start off with a collar-and-elbow tie up in the center of the ring. Gigi takes quick advantage of her height and weight advantage to gain leverage and force Li Xiao backwards into the ropes.
Mann: Gigi starting off with the basics here, knowing Li Xiao is nothing if not an incredibly explosive fighter.
Woodbridge: That’s right, Xiao wrestles like my grandpa used to make moonshine, god rest his soul!
Gigi sets herself, and when Xiao tries to push off the ropes and get Gigi off, Gigi directs the momentum into a modified biel, throwing Li Xiao across the ring! Gigi takes a moment to smirk and pose for the fans - a mistake, as Xiao rolls through the throw and hits the ropes on the opposite side of the ring!
Mann: Incredible strength from Gigi!
Gigi turns around into a sprinting palm strike from Xiao, staggering backwards into the ropes yet again, and Xiao follows up with a big kick to the gut! Gigi’s doubled over, and Xiao drops her with a DDT!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s fired up, and she’s quite possibly looking to end this match before it even gets started!
Xiao with the cover!
1!
2!
Gigi kicks out right at 2, and rolls up, obviously shocked and dazed. The crowd in attendance is split, with the wrestling fans excited to see Gigi on the ropes, and the Gigi fans absolutely in shambles. Xiao is up quickly, as Gigi staggers to her feet - Xiao hits the ropes, springboards, and catches Gigi with a beautiful headscissors!
Crowd: WOOOOOO!
Gigi rolls through, runs the ropes, and comes back with a head of steam! Xiao dodges a clothesline attempt, shoves Gigi to the other rope, and gets ready for the comeback - Gigi catches the ropes! Xiao charges in to press the advantage, and eats an officially branded Gigi♥ boot to the face! Xiao is absolutely rocked, staggering backwards, and this time Gigi takes the initiative and absolutely levels Xiao with a clothesline! Xiao spirals to the mat, and Gigi blows a kiss to the fans in attendance!
Gigi: I am your future champion, and this is the match I’m booked in?
Gigi catches Xiao with a boot to the back of the head! Xiao rolls over, and Gigi drops a knee onto her throat, before going for the cover!
1!
2!
Xiao muscles out of the pin, clutching her head!
Woodbridge: We got two high fliers here, these women make a livin’ out of dodging attacks. Anything that lands here is going to be devastating!
Mann: And right now, it looks like Xiao is barely conscious after those blows to the head!
Gigi gets up, and winks at her fans in attendance and watching live throughout the world.
Crowd: BOOOOOO!/YAAAAAAAAAAY!
Gigi saunters over to Xiao, and plays up the boot she’s about to give - SMALL PACKAGE! SMALL PACKAGE!
1!
2!
Gigi kicks out, and her mood instantly changes. Xiao is staggering to her feet, and takes a full on slap to the face!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH!
Mann: What a slap from Gigi, obviously assisted by her official Gigi♥ gloves, sponsored by Fairtex!
Woodbridge: Gigi’s pissed now, and you could hear that slap all the way in Los Angeles!
Xiao clutches her face, and Gigi follows up with a huge kick to the gut! Xiao falls to one knee, and Gigi finishes the trifecta with a roundhouse to the head!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!
Xiao collapses to the mat!
Mann: And Xiao’s down! What a kick!
Woodbridge: That kick nearly took her head off, Shay! I don’t know if she’s even conscious down there!
Gigi’s prepared, and is looking to finish this, climbing to the top rope! Xiao is flat on her back on the mat, and Gigi takes the leap, flipping forwards with a swanton! Xiao is still conscious, though, and rolls away in the nick of time, leaving Gigi high and dry!
Crowd: YAAAAAAY! KUNG PAO! KUNG PAO! KUNG PAO!
Mann: I... feel like that’s problematic, somehow.
Woodbridge: Nah, ‘sfine, don’t worry about it.
Xiao grabs for the ropes, pulling herself to her feet, but is obviously still dazed from the kick!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s hurt!
Mann: You see this a lot in Li Xiao singles matches - she’s got an incredible offense, but she’s fragile at best in-ring!
Gigi is holding her back, and glares at Xiao in frustration!
Gigi: You were supposed to stay down! it was going on Tiktok!
Gigi charges forward, ready to avenge her mistake, but takes a knee to the gut! Gigi staggers for a second, only to get a chop to the neck! She’s reeling! Xiao with a forearm! Xiao with a elbow strike!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHH!
Xiao takes a step backwards, and lets out a KIAI, before charging forward with a roundhouse - NO! SCHOOLBOY FROM GIGI!
1!
2!
Xiao kicks out at 2.6, rolls to her feet, and is immediately back on the offensive, catching Gigi with a kick to the gut!
Mann: Xiao was going for her trademark flurry of blows, and that roundhouse could very well have ended this match!
Woodbridge: Sure, but it doesn’t look like Gigi’s in a better spot right now anyway!
Xiao measures, as Gigi slowly gets back to her feet, and steps through the ropes, stalking her opponent! Gigi’s up, and Xiao leaps onto the ropes, going for a springboard - GIGI HOOKS HER LEG!
Crowd: BOOOOO!
Xiao loses her footing, and falls neck-first onto the ropes, before collapsing to the outside of the ring!
Mann: Gigi with a lightning-quick reversal!
Woodbridge: Xiao might be seriously hurt down there!
Gigi regains some of her confidence, and gives the crowd an innocent smile, completely ignoring the competitor she might have seriously injured. As the count reaches six, Gigi finally springs into action, rolling out of the ring, and grabbing Xiao by the hair!
Gigi: That’s what you get for ruining my moment!
Gigi pulls Xiao up to her feet, and throws her into the ring. Gigi rolls in as Xiao fights to one knee, then to her feet! Gigi smirks, and stands in front of Xiao, posing for the crowd -
WHAM!
Xiao with a JKD backfist!
Woodbridge: River City Knockout! That’s Biff’s move! What a moment to strike!
Gigi is staggered - falls to one knee - then gets back up, just in time to eat THE CRANE KICK
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Woodbridge: CRANE KICK! CRANE KICK!
Gigi is down! Xiao is staggering after landing the crane kick, and collapses to a knee herself! Xiao takes a moment to collect herself, then throws herself into the cover, hooking both legs!
1!
2!
3!
NO!
Mia hits the three count, and Xiao rolls off, sure she’s won the match, but Gigi’s right hand is on the ropes!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mia explains to Xiao, who is obviously frustrated, but nods. She takes a moment to kick Gigi’s wrist, knocking her hand off the ropes, before climbing to the top rope! Xiao steels herself - leaps - corkscrews through the air!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s Wing!
Gigi gets her knees up! Xiao lands back-first onto Gigi’s knees! Xiao bounces halfway across the ring, clutching her back and neck, and lands on her chest!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mann: And Gigi has just enough in the tank to get that counter in!
Gigi, with what seems like massive effort, rolls over, before crawling towards Xiao, who seems to be completely out of it. She crawls over Xiao, with a knowing smirk, before hooking her legs around Xiao’s head!
Mann: Gigi looking for the Paywall, this modified figure four choke!
Woodbridge: And half the audience is looking at something else right now.
Gigi torques Xiao’s already injured neck back, cutting off all airflow! Xiao struggles for a moment, but is trapped in the center of the ring! She crawls forward, but Gigi leans back, torquing her neck even further! Xiao swings back with an elbow, then another, but her arm is caught by Gigi’s free hand! After a moment of struggling, Xiao finally relents, and taps in the center of the ring!
DING DING DING!
Javier: And your winner, at a time of 7:53.... GIGI!
Gigi rolls out of the ring, obviously the worse for wear, clutching her neck after the crane kick to the skull!
Mann: And Gigi with a hard-fought win after these two threw everything at each other in a absolutely brutal short match!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s not a singles competitor on her own, but she showed just how brutal her brand of offense is when it needs to be - if Biff has the same resilience he used to have the tag division might need to be on notice!